Not tonight honey…

futurethreat · 2023-01-18T20:00:40+00:00

one problem I see in current society is young people are learning how to have sex from porn, and 90% of the things in porn are not pleasurable or enjoyable for women

toasterchild · 2023-01-18T17:42:02+00:00

Does it matter if you have all the freedom and power to leave your relationship? You always have to balance whether you are getting enough out of it to stay, right? Lots of people leave relationships because of sexual incompatibility, it happens.

You can't make your partner fuck you but you can leave if you're unhappy.

h1shman · 2023-01-18T19:57:19+00:00

As a man who has had multiple 3-5yr relationships where the sex absolutely never slowed down past my own libido, I’ll bite.

Firstly it comes down to frame. A woman’s sexual desire starts with respect in the context is LTRs. If a woman loses respect for you it’s over in the bedroom. Even the fools over in dead bedrooms understand that chores, acts of service, or even listening to their wives doesn’t lead to sex. That’s because their wives don’t respect them. Women can’t love men they don’t respect. Frame is a big topic and I can’t cover it here beyond just saying stop letting your girl tell you what to do (too nuanced to explain ) . Act like a masculine man she can desire.

Secondly she doesn’t feel heard, appreciated, and understood. This one’s a lot more simple and obvious solution is communicating. Sometimes this is a bi-product of the frame issue where the man pulls away because he is upset about the lack of intimacy. So it’s a downward spiral of resentment. Fix yourself and fix your frame and this one usually sorts itself out.

Lastly, and although the least likely reason for lack of intimacy, most studies show women are not satisfied in the bedroom so many relationships are going to have this issue even if there isn’t a lack of intimacy. Beyond the obvious of asking your girl what she likes and spending time pleasing her I do suggest using toys. Now before you get your taint hairs in a knot here, realize that some girls can take 30+ minutes to cum using more conventional methods. After years this can really become an absolute fucking chore. My suggestion is the magic wand. This unwieldy personal massager is not a toy. It is simply an extension of your dick, a penile power up if you will. That turns your already magnificent dick into a vibrating magnificent dick. Seriously though it feels great for you both and gets most girls off in minutes. Vibrating cock rings are a far cry from the wand but are hands free. Best policy is only using toys together. Overuse can cause a woman to become less sensitive to human touch. Think “porn sick” men get from overstimulation but from toys.

Tldr; Women lose respect for their man and men don’t please their woman.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-01-18T18:15:13+00:00

It's not just women who experience lack of sexual desire. I experienced it after my daughter was born - not because I didn't want it, but because he no longer saw me as a sexual being but as a mother to be pedestaled.

I also experienced it when my husband had cancer and again last month when he had Covid. But even in the times he couldn't physically make love, he was enthusiastic about other forms of intimacy.

Communication helps a lot. Holding up your end of the relationship helps a lot. Pretty much the only times I don't want it are when I'm upset with my husband. Which fortunately, is not that often because we communicate and talk about our issues.

GridReXX · 2023-01-18T22:13:41+00:00

Bringing my comment here:

FYI Fellas: They’re saying that women’s sexual arousal is dependent on behaviors, moments, and experiences outside of sex itself. Her libido is responsive to those things. For the overwhelming majority of women, outside of menstrual or medical hormonal shifts, her horniness doesn’t just “spontaneously exist” without consideration for the experiences outside of the bedroom.

IMPORTANT: She needs to be physically not tired and not stressed/whelmed and be admiring/respecting you, finding herself sexy, and finding you sexy in order to be in the headspace of “horniness.”

Pro Tip for Couples: Wine/liquor and weed helps as a hack when y’all don’t have time to address all of the bolded. Apparently other drugs like coke and molly and shrooms do too but not my expertise. This advice is not meant for weirdo pick up artists. You will be jumped or worse by the powers that be if you attempt this on some predatory shit.

Birb-brained · 2023-01-18T17:54:27+00:00

All relationships will have peaks and troughs regarding sex and closeness. You need to establish that you’re sexually compatible as a baseline before you marry/have children/cohabitate , then it’s communication and keeping the relationship alive outside the bedroom that will keep things good within it. Obviously there are some things that can have effects on libido throughout life like medications, illnesses and such, which can’t really be helped.

warramite · 2023-01-18T17:50:39+00:00

Only marry a woman who thinks your Chad, dont marry any woman who doesn't worship your beauty otherwise dead bedroom is inevitable

dogsmoking · 2023-01-18T19:18:38+00:00

Lots of things can affect a woman's libido, like age or stress or medications like the pill. A low libido can also indicate she feels pressured to be sexual without her partner considering her needs. Women aren't just holes with a life support system you know.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-01-18T20:05:41+00:00

Usually this is a symptom that something is wrong either in the relationship or health wise with the low-desire partner, not the problem itself. First you need to eliminate physical causes, then mental health causes, then look at the relationship and what has changed since this started happening. I’m not saying that it’s anything you’re doing intentionally, but that there’s a reason, and she’d probably like to enjoy sex again too.

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-01-18T18:55:50+00:00

“Not tonight hunny”

“But it’s the 23rd night in a row”

“Well I’m tried, I’m been running about all day”

“I’ve been at work all day!, what do you want me to do?!l

“IVE been at work too! Then I collected our children, then I cleaned our house and made our dinner then got their stuff ready for tomorrow and helped them with their homework, then bathed the kids then spend 2 hours trying to get them to bed, then cleaned the kitchen Then ironed our stuff for tomorrow then did the shopping list. You came home, did a shit, ate a meal, avoided your kids and sat in your pants playing video games for the last 5 hours”

“Well, that’s not my fault, you could have asked for help”

“I DID ask for help, I asked you to do the kitchen while I sorted the kids and all you said was “”I’Ll dO iT lAtEr” nearly 3 hours later you still hadn’t done it and didn’t even notice that I’d done it”

“Well I’m sorry, I’ll try to do better, but we don’t need to fall out about it, you don’t need to do all the jobs EVERY night”

“Yes I do, because no one else is going to do it,”

“I would have done it if you’d have given me a chance”

“When then? When?? Tell you what, when you start doing these things when I ask you or better yet before I even need ask you, I might not feel so tried at night anymore”

“I shouldn’t have to do jobs to earn the right to be with my wife”

“No you shouldn’t, you should be respecting your partner and helping your family in every way you can, right now I don’t even think about you as a husband anymore, just an extra child I’ve got to take care of”

“So if my wife isn’t going to do her wifely duties does that mean I have a right to cheat?”

Pretty much the conversation of the vast majority of couples where the sex’s dried up

gofigure62 · 2023-01-18T18:20:14+00:00

Sounds like a man that has neglected every aspect of the relationship and expects his wife to still want to be sexually intimate.

Women say that they cringe at the touch of their partner because every touch is a demand for sex. On average, men don't touch their partners for intimacy outside of sex. They don't hug, cuddle, or caress, just to establish physical intimacy, they do it to escalate towards sex.

Women also say that their husbands stop engaging in foreplay and essentially use their body to masturbate with because her pleasure "takes too long", making the sexual experience unpleasant at best, or outright painful at worst because they don't even use lube or wait until their wife is lubricated to engage in intercourse.

Lack of sex in a relationship is an indication that there are problems in the relationship.

Decent-Zombie-5513 · 2023-01-18T17:54:13+00:00

There are armies of men who are basically just married incels being farmed by their wives.

MistyMaisel · 2023-01-18T18:22:40+00:00

Do men, even husbands, really want obligation sex? Like, Lord have mercy what a way to start your post. Of course they don't have obligation sex. No one should have obligation sex. That sounds horrid for so many reasons that I'd need at least two full blackboards and quite a bit of chalk to get it all down.

If two people were once having a good amount (as in they're both pleased with it) of sex. And something changed, the only question, the most important question, is why? Objects at rest stay at rest. People don't randomly stop eating (a pleasurable activity) for no reason. People don't randomly stop enjoying things they enjoyed previously. Something changed.

And I'm not saying it has to be the man became awful. Hormones change with time. Medical problems. Medications. Children. Stress. There's a lot to this. But also, yes, sometimes it is discord in the relationship or a partner letting themselves go or behaving badly or a whole other host of issues.

The best approach is to try to figure out what has changed or gone wrong and fix it. Not sit around angry about not getting obligation sex.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-01-18T19:01:58+00:00

In most of history, people had hard lives. Even if you stayed together forever, and lived a decent lifespan, I imagine that a 50 year old man and woman in 1650 looked worse in many ways than people can today. Maybe it was natural to go post-sexual by your 40s. Maybe it still is, and if you don't want that, you shouldn't expect extended sexuality to just happen. You gotta make it happen.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2023-01-18T20:14:49+00:00

You do know men can also cause dead bedrooms right?

Lysa_Bell · 2023-01-18T17:44:23+00:00

That's just life and relationships in general for some couples. The deadbedroom subreddit is full of women that want to have sex with their partners but they are refusing.

Although married couples on average have sex about once a week. But there will be outliers when it comes to that.

Coupled up men still have on average more sex than single men. Same goes for women.

MyLastBestChance · 2023-01-18T18:01:09+00:00

What happens (or doesn’t happen) in the bedroom is the direct result of what happens (or doesn’t happen) outside the bedroom 99% of the time…

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-01-18T18:18:07+00:00

I wouldn't stay with anyone if they suddenly for a long period of time without reason were no longer sexually compatible with me.

That being said I have been patient and understanding with people who were:

going through depression (and getting treated for it/working on managing it)
going through other types of illnesses
had a lot of job stress (that they were working on managing)
a few other situations that were reasonable and temporary

CursedLemon · 2023-01-18T20:17:34+00:00

The idea that withholding sex is 99% a female phenomenon makes me think a lot of posters in this sub have no life experience whatsoever. Also, decreased libido =/= failed marriage, also stress happens, also a lot of people suck at picking compatible partners.

propyl21 · 2023-01-18T18:41:55+00:00

Maybe have greater communication between the two people to figure out why the situation has resulted to 'not tonight honey'

It can go both ways. The guy could be the one saying something similar.

Gilmoregirlin · 2023-01-18T19:09:37+00:00

Check out the dead bedroom forum it's not just men that are being turned down in marriages. But funny when the man turns down sex the woman is almost always looked to for being the reason (she's not) but when the woman turns it down? She's not doing her wifely duties SMH.

1Here4Bach · 2023-01-18T17:41:38+00:00

Workout, keep up your physical appearance, stop being romantically lazy, don’t be a manchild, take care of your role as a husband and a father and you’ll never have to worry about going a long time without sex again. Males refuse to take responsibility. No one wants to fuck someone that has “let themselves go” physically emotionally and mentally. Take responsibility for your life and do something about it.

West-Ad-9697 · 2023-01-18T17:54:29+00:00

I mean we changed the definition of relationships to that of best friends with cuddles that share rent. People are just living the "utopia" of progressive boomers and Gen Xrs.

Shebalied · 2023-01-18T17:38:26+00:00

Have you considered that people get older and fatter, their libidos naturally decrease with age, people have kids and are stressed out and tired af all the time, hormonal BC is so commonly taken and it can literally make you disgusted by your husband…

haroldshipman_MD · 2023-01-18T18:00:44+00:00

Never experienced it myself - even when ex-partners were obviously growing to hate and resent me they still had libido, but it's one of my worst nightmares as a man growing older in a relationship.

Just a few hours ago I was reading a post on a fetish-related sub about a guy whose wife, after 10 years together, told him that she was disgusted by his fetish, and had pretty much lost all interest in sex altogether. However, she got upset at the prospect of splitting up.

I mean, what can you do in that situation? No one is obligated to have sex with anyone (or to indulge their fetish), but at the same time... you only live once.

I don't think I could stay with someone if I was in this situation. People are going to say "nooooooo that's terrible you evil man", but let's be honest - say I let myself go, lost my job, stopped cleaning up after myself, and stopped all semblance of romance. Would you seriously expect my partner to stand by me? Of course not.

All relationships are transactional, and if one person isn't living up to their side of the deal then the other one will leave. Harsh but true.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2023-01-18T19:27:54+00:00

I've experienced this with a longterm boyfriend who suddenly lost interest and absolutely stonewalled me about why. I hadn't gained weight or changed my appearance at all. He had gained significant weight and started balding aggressively but I was still down. Was the change just basic Coolidge effect, or body issues on his end, or a symptom of our relationship going generally downhill in a variety of non-sexual ways? I have no idea because he sure wasn't talking to me about it. It was a big factor in me dumping him.

So I'm more sympathetic to HL men dealing with LL women than you might expect but also it's very silly to try to distill something with a lot of complex factors down to exactly one thing that is also always somehow always the woman's fault. You're not looking for real answers here. You're looking for a bunch of people to agree with you that ladies are evil.

Zadacat · 2023-01-18T20:30:22+00:00

Writing up another weird fantasy I see

OrdinaryFarmer · 2023-01-18T21:12:10+00:00

Funny how every woman assumes the guy is some fat, lazy, retarded slob like Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin. Cause it's never the woman's issue, it's always the mans.

RGL137 · 2023-01-19T00:15:20+00:00

I had this discussion in another thread but, think about how much women love their dogs. They’ll bend over backwards to take care of their dogs, up to and including picking up its shit with her hands. All in exchange for nothing other than “companionship”.

If your girl isn’t putting any effort into making you happy, she just don’t like you. Simple as.

EBZ1722 · 2023-01-19T04:08:25+00:00

I'm married and I've never experienced this, I think men need to be really cautious about what kind of woman they decide to marry. In the context of marriage sexual and emotional intimacy is a necessity not an option and both parties should understand that.

Scarce12 · 2023-01-18T18:23:22+00:00

Women lose out on this too though.

They lose out big time.

I don't think women realise this though.

Like, after stuff like this happens, how many of these guys ever regain their feelings toward her, again?

Personal experience is, it's when this stuff started happening in our relationship, I started to lose feelings for her, and truthfully I'm only still with her for the kids. I don't really love her anymore.

How many women realise this?

Sex isn't love for you, sure, but it doesn't mean men don't fall out of love.

OrdinaryFarmer · 2023-01-18T21:11:43+00:00

Funny how every woman assumes the guy is some fat, lazy, retarded slob like Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin. Cause it's never the woman's issue, it's always the mans.

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-01-18T18:24:20+00:00

Here’s a list of things that have been said to me after refusing to have sex with a woman:

-you’re gay -you’re dick is broken -you are cheating on me -you are addicted to porn -are you ashamed because your dick is tiny? -what’s wrong with you? -what’s wrong with me?

And the ever classic

-gibberish through uncontrollable sobbing

So I don’t know maybe sex is an obligation but only for men to because of women’s fragile egos.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-01-18T19:20:52+00:00

If they previously had a healthy sex life and now they don't, clearly, there's something wrong. Both of you have to try to figure out what that is. Is it a medical issue? Is it stress? Has the guy dropped the ball and she has to pick up all the slack around the house + childcare? Has there been a significant lifestyle change for one or both people? Have one or both been letting themselves go?

vapordaveremix · 2023-01-18T19:49:55+00:00

This just emphasizes two very important points:

Take the time to really get you to know the person you marry so that you reduce the risk of this happening. You both should be on the same page with most everything before making the decision to marry.

This kind of situation is not inevitable. You can make all the moves you want but if your partner is tired, or stressed, or dealing with bigger things, then sex with you is going to be the last thing on their mind. What can you do to ensure they get rest, or de-stress, or help them with their problems? If you ask, get denied, and walk away moping then you've got a passive attitude. Be proactive and think of how to help. They might just appreciate the effort. Also, there's nothing that kills desire more than asking every day.

And if all else fails, split up. If you don't like the terms of your relationship then you should find a way out.

KayRay1994 · 2023-01-18T19:50:58+00:00

if the marriage started off healthy and fell to shit, both of them have some serious work to do. If you’re the guy, figure out why you stopped being so attractive - maybe you’ve let yourself go, maybe you stopped tending to her needs, etc - if you’re the girl, figure out if you’ve been communicating your needs or if he’s even listening. Get some counseling involved if this is the case. If your sex life got boring, try to spice things up and a new flair to it.

Either way, situations like this usually have both parties playing a role or some fault - let’s not turn this into a “girl rejects sex therefore she’s wrong” post

HazyMemory7 · 2023-01-18T21:37:15+00:00

But it’s the 23rd night in a row….

What about the 6th month in a row? Intimacy is a crucial part of relationships. At some point if the bedroom is dead, a husband and wife should have a discussion and consider how they can improve things and air things out.

If the wife outright doesn't want to intimate at all anymore and has no interest in that discussion, then the husband she be able to divorce her with no financial penalties.

That__EST · 2023-01-19T00:55:00+00:00

Unfortunately a large percentage marriages end up dead bedroom unless there is a conscious understanding that sex is important to a marriage.

And a huge LOL about the wives cheating. When a woman loses her libido in marriage after time and children 9/10 she's not seeking out men to cheat with to relight that fire. Sure, it absolutely might happen. But unfortunately there are plenty of women who just go the rest of their lives not having sex with anyone.

Ex_Machina_1 · 2023-01-19T03:01:11+00:00

You guys have no concept of a real, loving relationship lol.

James_Cruse · 2023-01-19T09:28:50+00:00

Agree with a few posters that already commented - your wife doesn’t see you as sexually desirable for you because you allowed her frame and her leadership to creep in and you got lazy, deferred to her leadership and now she has lost respect for you.

The best way to solve this is to slowly begin to reassert yourself as the leader in the relationship by not allowing her to boss you around, or take leadership over you. Find your hobbies and make sure you’re doing things you want to do without her so that you both can enjoy your lives seperately sometimes.

If you disagree with her, say it and be calm about it.

As per some old RP advice: no DEERing - it’s makes women’s respect and desire dry out like the Sahara.

Lastly, I think she should see you in situations where you are at your best, like things you excel at, every now and then. Also, let her see other women that actually desire you, so she knows, on a unconscious level, you are desirable to other women and she’s lucky to have you - so best not take you for granted.

If none of the above works, time to leave. But speak to a lawyer first, plan it out financially - with moving assets to crypto or your other family members that you have. Make sure you have a plant of action for going to TRIAL for the divorce and child’s custody, never take an offer, lawyers love offers being taken - it’s less work for them.

Vronicasawyerredsded · 2023-01-18T19:54:43+00:00

Women like having sex.

Women like having sex with men they like and are attracted to.

Women don’t like having sex with men who they don’t like and don’t fine attractive.

If your wife is refusing to engage with you sexually she doesn’t like you and find you attractive.

Your wife is upset with you and there is something unresolved in your relationship.

You probably know what it is because she’s told you a million time and you’re not actively listening and changing your behavior.

Fix that issue that’s causing conflict and you both should take time to learn how to communicate better with one another.

Your wife isn’t refusing sex she’s refusing sex with YOU.

Peacesquad · 2023-01-18T20:45:30+00:00

I’ll say if a woman is leveraging sex for compliance or denying her man sex in general, she doesn’t respect him. And a woman can’t love a man she doesn’t respect. You put two and two together

despisedlove2 · 2023-01-18T23:51:01+00:00

Sorry to hear that.

A married woman has got her husband just where she wants him. Under control, and a captive future victim for a divorce rape. If she has sex, it will be after receiving the suitable romance and entertainment, and even then, if she isn't already cheating on you.

Check if the kids, if any, are actually yours, and get back to doing chores after work that she likes to tell her friends that you never help with. You hopefully hid all your financial assets from before the wedding from her, and are putting away a little bit away in an overseas account for when she decides that she has had her fill of you.

Therapy will not help. Most therapists assume that the you are abusing your wife, and don't understand her "struggles".

rpujoe · 2023-01-18T20:46:23+00:00

Whatever her sexual past is sets the standard for what you absolutely should expect. If you learn down the road she used to have threesomes and banged guys the first night she met them, then you damn well better have experienced the same otherwise she's just not that into you, but rather "you'll do".

Far too many guys don't get this and end up 7ish years down the road getting blindsided by divorce or getting cheated on after Chad or Tyrone throws attention her way.

Past behavior is the best predictor we have of future behavior, and we also know more than 4 sexual partners doubles the rate of infidelity in women.

Follow on social media

anon-sucks · 2023-01-18T19:11:31+00:00

You might want to go take a peek at the dark side (r deadbedrooms). One thing you’ll notice is that it’s mostly women talking about how their husbands stopped having sex with them.

Want to know the cheat code for a long term relationship with a healthy sex life? … wait for it.. Stay fuckable. Yup. Make an effort to be sexy. And don’t base sexy off of what she says, base it off of her reaction and the reaction of other women. Of course balance this with what makes you happy too. So stop listening to that dad bod shit, and get in shape. Get rid of that Happy Wife Happy Life shit too. Way to many men interpret that as “just do what she wants.”

andrejusilva123 · 2023-01-18T17:42:59+00:00

Majority of women are like this.Not only do they have lower libido than men biologically but also their sex drive in a relationship declines way more than men's and she can't keep up.

Spirited-Track4414 · 2023-01-18T23:37:23+00:00

You’re not owed sex.

Many-ecom233 · 2023-01-19T01:49:43+00:00

And men have a right to cheat if the woman is depriving them of sex. To many men think they should stay unsatisfied for a woman's ego. Foh

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Remarkable_Tangelo59 · 2023-01-18T18:48:25+00:00

She isn’t interested in having sex with you, because she doesn’t like you. Maybe other hormonal/body issues playing into it, but likely she doesn’t like you anymore. Why? Well that would take some deep rooted reflection, which most men don’t seem interested in doing. How do you treat your partner? How do you treat yourself? Lots of people are vile and then can’t understand why their partner or spouse wouldn’t want to engage in intimacy.

obviousredflag · 2023-01-18T18:13:13+00:00

Maybe because the man isn't desirable anymore. Closeness kills desire. Love wants closeness. You need to actively work against closeness to keep the desire. Seeing how other women desire your man also keeps that desire up.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2023-01-18T18:28:05+00:00

I'll just say this, you can't lose something that was never there in the first place.

BruddaMSK · 2023-01-18T18:32:36+00:00

I think like 40% of LTR/marriages are sexless/dead bedroom but don't quote me on that. Seems believable, though.

InfamousBake1859 · 2023-01-18T18:37:08+00:00

Maybe ask your partner how often do they want sex… and suggest alternatives?

hiddendance · 2023-01-18T18:40:18+00:00

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-01-18T19:03:27+00:00

I think people want to establish routines but then get bored of their routines after a while. The honeymoon phase lasts just long enough for a child to survive the critical first year or two. Perhaps that's coincidental or perhaps it's an evolutionary influence on behavior.

MarBitt · 2023-01-18T19:04:23+00:00

How common do you think it really is?

10 to 20 percent of all marriages, according to studies

So 6-13 million sexless married couples. And plenty of other LTR couples. In theory, one of the largest groups of incels, if all those men (and many women) started identifying as such.

When it comes to sex, frustrated young single men have no reason to envy many husbands and men in long-term relationships.

Safinated · 2023-01-18T19:11:20+00:00

The Deadbedrooms sub begs to differ. It’s got a pretty even gender split

LCBrianC · 2023-01-18T19:19:12+00:00

I’m really confused what you’re asking here…

EricFisherNo1 · 2023-01-18T19:39:07+00:00

She needs to move on if they want different things, or wise up. If he is horny and he finds his release somewhere else, who could blame him ?

8m3gm60 · 2023-01-18T19:49:34+00:00

All good, but I'm not hearing any complaints when I'm jerkin it to porn on the big screen in the living room later that night.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2023-01-18T20:05:51+00:00

This is why no matter what a man must always cultivate his options.

It's a very hard issue but as you get experience and success with women, the more and more you realize that you're going to be subject to arbitrary whim unless you cultivate other options.

chancetolive · 2023-01-18T20:26:26+00:00

https://youtu.be/KFl8OavjiPU

There solved.

EugeneCezanne · 2023-01-18T20:38:22+00:00

But how many current relationships do you see, that you think are happy on the surface, that are like this?

How should we know? How often do we have intimate access to what other people's relationships are like below the surface? If anything, I'd imagine we hear a lot more testimony from the people with something to complain about than we do from the ones who are doing fine.

Maybe there was a genuine desire once, maybe the “love” is real, and the partnership is valued by both parties…but because of nothing more than time and familiarity, the women just doesn’t WANT him anymore?

I don't understand why you've gendered this issue. Men get bored too. It's a natural, human thing, honestly. Long-term monogamy is the unnatural thing we've invented.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-01-18T20:44:50+00:00

It takes work Have date nights weekly Really talk to each other Do things for each other that you know makes them happy.

abaxeron · 2023-01-18T21:47:09+00:00

Have you experienced this?

Surprisingly, no.

how many men in seemingly happy relationships are actually single in all but name

I don't know, and I don't care. The system reaches equilibrium. One way or another. Either people are spineless weaklings enough to tolerate and suffer in silence, or they will take measures.

tidepodforbreakfast · 2023-01-19T00:27:09+00:00

If you're in a sexless relationship leave.

If shes nagging you, you fucked up and need to fix something. Figure it out.

shonenhikada · 2023-01-19T00:36:43+00:00

Women find the vast majority of men physically unattractive. Most women are with men for their resources and the stability they can provide in their lives. This girl even flat out says that if a man loses his job or is unable to provide for a woman, she will be counting down to when she will leave you.

https://youtu.be/tDFe9m_6b80?t=306

When a woman has you locked into a marriage contract, she literally has government to back her up in penalizing a man if he ever chooses to leave said relationship. Thus, men often have to weigh their options between staying in an unhappy marriage, suicide (see Jason David Frank) or risk divorce rape and having their finances in ruin.

I believe there was even a study from Germany showing that men who did not cohabit with a woman they were dating had the highest level of sexual satisfaction out of all groups. As a man, you always got to keep a woman on her toes that she can be replaced, this is why girls actually get turned on and try more when they see girls wanting her man and trying to steal him from her.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-01-19T01:48:31+00:00

you get the sense that even making a “move” on your own woman has become inappropriate?

I don't know who needs to hear this but gtfo

suj1290 · 2023-01-19T01:56:03+00:00

It's time to look for it somewhere else..

meteorness123 · 2023-01-19T03:35:45+00:00

Stop being a pussy. If you dont like it, leave and stop whining.

mike-sonko · 2023-01-19T03:56:55+00:00

Watch this

begayallday · 2023-01-19T05:37:37+00:00

I have been in two different relationships with men who rarely, if ever, wanted to have sex. And I fully agree that there was no obligation on their end to have sex if they didn’t want to. But I also believe that no one is obligated to stay in a relationship where their needs aren’t being met.

angypanda123 · 2023-01-19T05:49:24+00:00

Could be a lot of reasons, too many to list. Maybe he's too pushy about sex and this makes her feel pressured and lose libido. Maybe she's stressed or doesn't feel good physically. Or she just doesn't want to have sex.

A person should never be pushy or pushing someone to have sex. That's being coercive and borderline rapey. Especially 23 nights in a row? Why not wait a couple of days, or figure out why she's not feeling it, and try again later.

People should always approach sex with a selfless attitude of giving pleasure to the other person. Too many men I know just want to have sex like using their woman as a fleshlight. Their women might not consciously understand it but the dehumanizing feeling of being disrespected in that manner is why their sex drive diminishes. This is just just one take of course, it might not be the situation you are describing.

Anti_Thing · 2023-01-19T06:01:57+00:00

I disagree. IMHO married people actually do have a moral obligation to sleep with their spouse.

BrownEyed-Susan · 2023-01-19T10:25:11+00:00

Bleh… there are plenty of HL in dead bedrooms too.

So idk, maybe consider that and stop acting as if it is something women do to deny and spite men.

My husband and I have sex 3-4 times a year if I am lucky if we are not actively trying to conceive. Is he the issue here or is it instead my issue and I’m unattractive or something? I feel many in this sub will say it is a me issue. So, if that’s the case maybe this is a YOU issue as well. 🤷🏽‍♀️

_here_ok · 2023-01-19T12:24:53+00:00

I think the problem stems from the fact sex is expected in a relationship and is assumed an obligation because of it. This is the expectation regardless of gender.

If a women denies her man then other men get angry.

If the man denies his woman then other woman get angry.

Yes Individuals of a sex will get angry for the opposite sex but they are those who typically express empathy or seen the hypocrisy.

People also won't announce what they want in a relationship is sex because it's taboo despite it being the expectation.

People will reprimand those individuals because apparently being nuanced and secretive about those desires is better show of character then actually expressing your character.

Ohmaygahh · 2023-01-20T15:14:03+00:00

Not tonight ... for you. LOL, gonna go get come cigs, brb.

Title	Not tonight honey…
Author	Cjaylyle
Upvotes	89
Comments	530
Date	January 18, 2023 5:33 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/10fda80/not_tonight_honey/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/not-tonight-honey.1148661 https://theredarchive.com/post/1148661

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