You can't expect women to care about "purity", as long as they keep getting inconsistent messages from men.....

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2023-03-22T17:43:46+00:00

Any woman worth her salt only cares about the opinion of the man who makes it worth her while to care. It's exactly the same the other way around too.

2023-03-22T18:12:11+00:00

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VehementlyDrawn · 2023-03-22T16:08:00+00:00

There's a very simple explanation here:

The guys who want a virgin will wait, and generally (not always) they will be the men who are invisible to women.

The guys who won't wait more than 3 dates are the guys who actually have options and can afford to move on to another girl.

These aren't the same people.

KayRay1994 · 2023-03-22T16:20:11+00:00

speaking for myself personally, purity isn’t really a part of the conversation - if i’m being frank, a “pure” girl and I probably won’t work since i do have some “degenerate” behaviors, as one would call it. As far as waiting goes, I don’t mind waiting, especially if she’s slower to open or if she simply needs time - sometimes it does take a bit of time for someone to open up, even if they have opened quicker to others before.

I also think people shouldn’t begrudge others for their preferences ASSUMING it comes from an internal ideological standpoint - the issue i take with a lot of guys wanting low body count women is that it often derives from what they expect out of others, not out of how they view the world (ex. the whole “i don’t like low body count women cause they sleep around a lot and are gross (which is paraphrasing most arguments i see here)” vs “i’d prefer someone who hasn’t been around because I view sex as an intimate experience and would want a partner who views it the same way”)

grummthepillgrumm · 2023-03-22T17:38:42+00:00

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Flightlessbirbz · 2023-03-22T23:44:01+00:00

I partly agree with the answers that say “different men want different things.” That being said, I would more so say that “men want different things from different women.” They want to put us in tidy little Madonna/whore categories and use the whores for sex, marry a virgin, and keep having whores on the side. The true af/bb.

Embarrassed-Tune9038 · 2023-03-22T16:59:50+00:00

Men are different from one another. We ain't a monolithic block.

Haunting_Syllabub617 · 2023-03-22T16:15:04+00:00

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NittyGrittyDiscutant · 2023-03-22T17:50:18+00:00

come on, u can't talk for every men out there, i, for example, want a virgin with at least 10 years of experience as a sex worker

Acupofjojo · 2023-03-22T16:13:51+00:00

I'm not sure that there is as much hypocrisy as people think is happening

Those that want low n's generally have lower n's themselves. I also don't think that many guys really or realistically are dead set on virgins.

Those that want relationships (most guys) really do prefer that you haven't fucked a bunch of other men. Why is that such a ridiculous preference?

Emervila · 2023-03-22T16:12:08+00:00

This is the usual “it’s men’s fault” because women are victims of their own choices.

This is very simple: be consistent, either liberal or traditional per your own OP half men are traditional and half men are liberal then just chose one side and stick to it like men do.

The issue comes when a 304 tries to pass as trad wife material which men don’t buy.

DeepHouseDJ007 · 2023-03-22T21:23:57+00:00

Dude for most guys on this sub who say they want a “low n count” woman, it’s not about “pair bonding” or any of that crap, it’s about preserving their egos because they feel emasculated by being with a woman with more experience than they have, and who’s likely to compare the guy’s performance with previous partners and those guys are afraid that an experienced woman will think the guy is a bad lay because he doesn’t know what he’s doing compared to other guys she was with.

Thaephon_FolLir · 2023-03-22T16:06:10+00:00

Men who like purity wouldn't mind waiting for sex. Most would probably PREFER waiting a little.

The problem arises when she's pretending to be pure by making him wait, while in the past she's had ons with random dudes. Waiting isn't the problem. Being considered an idiot is.

raldabos · 2023-03-22T23:06:01+00:00

Men who get laid in the first dates, aren't the same men who complain about "purity".

TheSongsInYourHead · 2023-03-22T16:59:41+00:00

I believe the assumption is that most women are sleeping with who they want anyway. So if she's not sleeping with you within 3 dates it's because she's not interested. Essentially they don't believe that you're "pure" to begin with, so if you're not sleeping with him, you're sleeping with someone else and he's just wasting his time.

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-03-22T16:40:25+00:00

Misogyny is so deeply engrained in our society that damn near everything women do is a reaction to men,

Why are women always reacting to men. They don’t have their own agency?

A woman who gets ghosted for being a virgin is winning, she is maintaining her self identity until a man who values that virginity comes along.

A woman who parties and sleeps around is winning, she experiences things life has to offer, gets to indulge in attractive men, and will settle down with a man who values her experiences and world views.

If either of these women do these things to counter or react to mens thoughts and behavior, then they lose . Why would a prudish woman be upset if a fuck boy ghosts her? Why would a promiscuous women be upset if a prudish man ghosts her? This is literally what they would want if they were living their lives how they want to.

We as men have no agency in determining what individual women do with their sex lives. All we are supposed to do is date the women who’s sex lives alligned with our world views.

Men are not responsible for keeping an individual women pure, and men aren’t responsible for having a modern relationship with a party girl.

fupadestroyer45 · 2023-03-22T21:14:45+00:00

This is called weeding out the guys who aren't serious about you, it's not "inconsistent". Quality over quantity. Men will absolutely have sex with girls they would never date.

sadbitch55 · 2023-03-22T21:53:06+00:00

As a virgin woman at age of 25, it's a lot hard to keep it since other women keep giving you the side eye as well. But it's a sacrifice that I am supposed to make. If it was easy, everyone would do it. It's a matter of self-respect. Society do not award what is easy to do.

abaxeron · 2023-03-22T16:03:02+00:00

What happens when a woman takes the "purity" message to heart?

She switches her brain on and understands that men simply reacted to the new rules that women have created; armed with this new knowledge, she approaches the next man of her liking explaining that she fully understands if he expects sex quickly, but she personally does not share the values of culture that made him have this expectation.

AilynCcasani · 2023-03-22T16:20:00+00:00

Most guys want a girl who is pure to everyone else, but finds them so irresistible she puts out in a few dates. Not saying that’s morally right, but it’s just the way we’re naturally wired. Historically, women have been the more sexually selective species, so if a woman tells everyone else no but finds you too appealing to resist, it’s a way for the man to reclaim his sexual agency.

LowCreddit · 2023-03-22T19:29:35+00:00

Women want to fuck Chad and marry Brad. Men want to fuck whores and marry madonnas.

Dstar538888 · 2023-03-22T22:42:22+00:00

And that's precisely why I don't take a lot of the men who discuss this subject seriously....I just do what I want depending on the vibes I get from the guy lol....just like you said, you have half the males in the sub saying they only want a virgin, and the other half saying they'll ghost a woman who doesn't sleep with them by the third date....and the kicker here is that the males who want a virgin expect the virgin to quickly and specifically put out for them in particular because they think they're so special and so much more spectacular than all the other dudes.... then they'll shame that same woman for being easy....the cognitive dissonance with some males in this sub is crazy...

Pilling_it · 2023-03-22T17:33:21+00:00

Half the guys on this sub want a virgin, while the other half constantly say they'll ghost a woman that doesn't put out in 2 or 3 dates.

Are these the same guys ?

loke2dabrain · 2023-03-22T18:08:06+00:00

This a trick question cause if her heart belong to the streets she never cared about "purity" in the first place

Nihi1986 · 2023-03-22T22:05:02+00:00

I never wanted a 'party phase', if I met a girl a really liked then almost nothing else would matter. I agree with some of your points, though, there's certainly a problem between men and their different lifestyles and values.

purplish_possum · 2023-03-23T02:19:42+00:00

I don't give a shit about purity. I like women who like to fuck and who want to fuck me.

HazyMemory7 · 2023-03-23T02:36:10+00:00

Men don't dictate women's behavior and they did not create hook up culture that feminism strived for. And in turn, women do not dictate men's preferences.

Is it hypocritical for a woman earning 60k a year to want a man earning 100k a year? What about a 5'3 woman wanting to date a man who is 6ft? Women don't necessarily adhere/fit in with the standards they have for men.

This entire debate is so pointless. Reality dictates how realistic standards are. If a man can have casual sex and still wife up a low n count woman or not. If a man isn't desirable enough to be that guy then he wont be able to do that.

cromulent_weasel · 2023-03-22T19:48:50+00:00

I think that purity culture is bullshit.

I think Betty White said it best: Who stores their honor in a woman's vagina?

Deshaun-Kobe · 2023-03-22T16:24:32+00:00

The problem is when women with a colorful past make guys in relationships wait

All the time, women who used to be in gangbangs do blowjobs other shit during their youth days now suddenly don't give that to their bf/hb and the dude is an idiot to wait non-stop

ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-03-22T17:18:09+00:00

Most guys don’t want virgins.

Why do women very often work on extremes…like either you’re a ran through hoe with 100-300 bodies or you’re a virgin.

Why can’t it be like under 10 or less than 7…which id say is probably what most men want

NockerJoe · 2023-03-22T16:05:29+00:00

Average off the street guys probably don't care about virginity that much, but traditionally those guys are the ones setting up and paying for the dates and also doing most of the physical escalation. If the woman is doing more active work early on and also actually communicates her comfort level there'd probably be way less resistance to the idea.

wtknight · 2023-03-22T17:21:00+00:00

Men can expect it because it’s the male version of a shit test. If women want to be put in the relationship category rather than the plate category, then they need to be willing to say no to a man’s advances for as long as a given man thinks that it is necessary that she seems to be someone who is not going to be considered sexually promiscuous enough to consider cheating on him in the future.

katyushas_boyfriend · 2023-03-22T18:09:05+00:00

Half the guys on this sub want a virgin, while the other half constantly say they'll ghost a woman that doesn't put out in 2 or 3 dates.

Men are not a hivemind news at 11

If you ask me the guys still clinging onto hopes of finding their perfect chaste tradwaifu are overdosing on copium

turtlez1231 · 2023-03-22T18:52:33+00:00

Lmao men not wanting a women with a high body count doesn't mean they have to be a virgin. Always with the extremes.

Safinated · 2023-03-22T17:18:30+00:00

It’s not inconsistent. We know what the deal is. It’s just whether you believe the exchange is worth it

PhorTwenT · 2023-03-22T18:25:52+00:00

It's called having your own values.

It's not dictating your sexuality based on what others want, but what feels in alignment with you. It requires honest reflection, because not only are we inundated with pressure from the opposite sex (or whomever you're attracted to) but also so many cultural messages from media, community, and religion, that it can be hard to really discern what feels best for your body and your heart.

AFuzzyMuffin · 2023-03-23T04:54:49+00:00

This is just low elo mindset.

Truthfully there is NOTHING wrong with an HONEST women holding sex out for months, in fact I think it's the better option and this is coming from a man. What causes issues is when a DISHONEST woman does thisbecause she truthfully doesn't really feel that way about a guy, but she hides it behind the HONEST woman's reasons.

If all women were honest and didn't get with men who they are not attracted to but made men wait it would be healthier over all. My suggestion to a woman is always make a man wait, but explain your an honest woman, and let him take a leap of faith, if he can’t trust you and needs sex by 3-4 dates instead of 2-4 months then honestly it probably won’t last anyway.

LordWeaselton · 2023-03-23T07:20:28+00:00

Slut shaming is extremely counterproductive and creating a culture where women aren’t shamed for how often and who they have sex with would lead to far more romantic and sexual success for average or below average men but a lot of y’all ain’t ready for that conversation yet

JasenBorne · 2023-03-22T18:06:45+00:00

note that men who want traditional virginal wives are still jerking off to women in porn everyday - they like and want the benefit of both. christ almighty i can't imagine the levels of depression these men would drop to if they didn't have porno.

hence, these men don't want all women to succumb to their purity standards, only enough of them. ofc it gets harder when women start having sex for themselves and not for men, but then there's always Thailand.

Anxious-Tailor-7182 · 2023-03-22T18:14:57+00:00

But why anybody should care about so called "purity"?

EulenWatcher · 2023-03-22T16:12:18+00:00

It isn't even just the inconsistency, there are deeper questions of "why?" and "what for?" If you aren't religious and you don't believe that your god says you to do so, there are very few reasons for it if any. It would make sense, if it had some kind of reward to it or inherit benefit. Like you wait till marriage and neither of you will ever cheat on one another or has their eyes on someone else. Or your spouse will never watch porn or something like this. But it doesn't really work this way.

obviousredflag · 2023-03-22T18:18:02+00:00

Men in here do not have a party phase. That is the root of the problem. If men here fucked as much as they talk about body counts, we wouldn't need that sub.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-03-22T16:17:51+00:00

Virgins are worth the wait. The issue is when a non virgin wants to wait.

Sofia_sticated91 · 2023-03-22T16:23:23+00:00

Eh, why would I waste my time with a woman who doesn't put out if I can get another woman who puts out on the first date? The date with the second woman has a far better return on investment

As for men who want a virgin woman, I don't think they are gonna get a woman like that. Why would women stay virgin when they can have fun? Getting married is not a worthwhile thing any more. At least not if you are a man who can pull women. It doesn't seem to be worth it for women getting married to a virgin man either

Blitted_Master · 2023-03-22T19:31:53+00:00

No hymen, no diamond.

Capeninja · 2023-03-22T21:26:55+00:00

In the face of that kind of inconsistency and mixed messages, you can't expect women to change their behavior, or care about men's opinions.

That's the point, traditionalists miss the days when there was a consistent message that purity was good. Nowadays the message is mixed.

Progressives want there to be a new consistent message that exploration is good, but since a big number of men don't get to explore anyway, that message will never universally stick.

Guys with 0-3 bodies often don't want to have to marry retired party girls who don't even do the kinky stuff anymore.

Sorry....but if we men want to have a "party phase" before "settling down", we have to allow women the same thing.

Most guys can't have a party phase anyway.

Suavedaddy5000 · 2023-03-22T17:36:27+00:00

Ah yes men are monolithic. Hey men, all of you, be more consistent with the messages you all tend put out. Micheal likes blue, James likes red, collectively we all like purple.

gopher_glitz · 2023-03-22T17:43:08+00:00

The guys that ghost after 3 dates don't get to care about 'purity'

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-03-22T18:22:45+00:00

Different men want different things the same as different women want different things

Ecstatic-Budget-5743 · 2023-03-22T22:10:13+00:00

might get lost in the comments here, but i think it’s a lot of guys who don’t have a lot of sex want to find someone else who doesn’t and will be so attracted to them that they let it go after like 3 dates. it’s “oneitis”, but going both ways. these guys wanna feel the “the one”, but also want to feel like the girl is “the one” if that makes any sense. i’m not excusing this behaviour at all. i’ve had my fair share of relationships, short and long term and everything depends on how the woman is feeling outside of the man. for example, a girl who is trying to have a “hoe phase” may fuck you early on in the relationship and that really has nothing to do with how attractive you are or how much money you make, she just feels safe enough around you to be naked and let you do whatever. on the other hand, a woman (regardless of her past or how high her libido is) who’s looking for a long term partner will draw out the process to look for someone who respects what she wants in a relationship. hope this helps out sad little guys who never get laid (it’s not all about you)

RRBeachFG2 · 2023-03-22T21:55:11+00:00

You have to want to do it for yourselves. If you ladies want to be inconsistent about not liking sex as much as men that you shouldn’t make thirst regret posts about missing out on getting dicked down by Chad on the second date.

AntiHypergamist · 2023-03-22T18:47:02+00:00

Wow OP, Different men have different opinions who would've thought. The point is not to listen to degenerates with no morals, there's good advice available for women.

SaintVersace · 2023-03-22T19:36:46+00:00

why dont women leverage sex for compliance? not every guys gonna ghost a girl for withholding sex. especially if she's a virgin

Taipanshimshon · 2023-03-22T19:47:41+00:00

I thought strong independent women make their own decisions

CapitaumToad · 2023-03-22T21:06:00+00:00

Men aren't a monolith, women should understand that different men have different worldviews and expectations.

Also, most men don't have a "hoe phase".

Subject-Ad-9613 · 2023-03-22T17:02:47+00:00

the problem is that women don't understand that men have a different sexual psychology. women have always been hit on for casual sex, and getting inconsistent messages is normal as mating strategies of the genders are directly opposed to each other when they dont overlap.

the falure is that women dont know the nature of themselves and men anymore because they have been brainwashed by the woke.

as long as women believe that genders psychologically think the same, which pretty much most do consciously or unconsciously, nothing will change, as the issue is precisely that the projection and lack of understanding of the true nature of genders, which is something women always knew and got told in previous ages.

justforlulz12345 · 2023-03-22T21:45:10+00:00

Maybe...maybe the men who want pure virgins and the men who want a woman to fuck in a timely fashion are different men? 😱

gozzff · 2023-03-23T02:23:49+00:00

What a pointless thread. First of all, try to justify incel politics before you ask questions that assume that incel politics could be justified if only they would apply equally to both genders. Incel politics tries to regulate the dating market so that the losers of their respective gender get a partner. That is the basis of the "purity" concept. Try to justify the idea that some people can tell others how to live their lives just so that some dysgenic creatures can get a partner.

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KoyoriIsHere · 2023-03-22T17:55:18+00:00

those are like 20% overall. I think the 80% of men or women who aren't in a relationship would just be happy to have someone by their side

Kobe_curry24 · 2023-03-22T18:22:49+00:00

But ops comments don’t make sense cause if you found purity then why did you leave lmaooo that’s problem in it self who’s judging who ? You

Ok-Supermarket-6747 · 2023-03-23T00:04:24+00:00

Men seem to have this impression that women make them wait ‘for nothing’ while women may be trying to actually see if there are longterm dealbreakers. The more people date, the more dealbreakers they learn and learn about themselves.

throwaway1276444 · 2023-03-23T08:20:24+00:00

It is actually the same for men and women. Women also find a large amount of past sexual partners to be a deal breaker, for short and long term relationships. It is actually women that are more picky on this as men only have this preference for long term relationship and are more flexible for short term dating.

And nobody wants a virgin.

https://www.psypost.org/2016/12/study-finds-number-past-sexual-partners-large-effect-attractiveness-46594

Ok-Expression7575 · 2023-03-23T15:11:12+00:00

Holy shit, do what YOU want with your life and attract someone who wants what you're slinging. Why do people complicate this shit?

You can't have your cake and eat it too, if you do certain activities you will become less attractive to more people and that's fine. Who cares? They're probably not for you as your genuine self anyways.

SeemedGood · 2023-03-23T18:06:46+00:00

This is not a result of our (men’s) choice-making, it’s a result of yours (women’s).

It’s really simple:

Men want a woman who is highly/strongly sexually attracted to us (individually) and not especially sexually attracted to other men.

Given that women are the sexual selector of the species, that is the attraction condition which gives us (generally) the highest probability of paternal certainty. And since women are hypergamous, it is also the attraction condition which offers the best chance of maintaining a healthy LTR.

In practice, this means that our ideal woman is one whom we find attractive and are so attracted to us (individually) that she literally wants to jump our (individual) bones, but has never felt that way about any other man and is unlikely to do so in the future.

Ideally, we want to be the 11 to a woman who doesn’t have casual sex ever but makes the exception for us (individually) because we are her 11. This demonstrates to us that a given woman is more likely to be engaging in sex with us (individually) because she is actively sexually attracted to us (individually) and less likely to be engaging is sex with us because she hopes to garner some relationship utility in exchange, which is the best condition for a healthy LTR.

This seems like a tall order, but it’s actually achievable for exceptionally attractive men willing to date modest young women. If women (generally) found a diverse group of men to be exceptionally attractive based on their (individually) differing preferences, resulting in a more normal distribution of their sexual attraction across the population of men, such pairings would be relatively common.

The problem for women in this scenario occurs when their attraction to men is based in objectification (ie an evaluation of what a given man can do for her inclusive of how he makes her feel) rather than in an evaluation of his being, independent of his potential utility to her. When an individual woman’s attraction is based in such objectification of the male, then her attraction cues will strongly overlap with those of all other women with objectifying selection cues. When women do that as a group they will have very high overlap in their attraction to men, resulting in a highly skewed distribution of their sexual attraction across the population of men. The magnitude of that skew then puts women in a weak competitive position with each other. When large numbers of women all consider the same tiny subset of men “their 11s,” those men lose incentive to LTR any woman, and women end up being run through by that small subset of men, lessening their attractiveness to all other men.

If women’s (generally) attraction to men (generally) was more normally distributed, they would be less likely to converge on the same tiny subset of men as “their (individual) 11s,” and they would be much more likely to match into LTRs with a man that they (individually) found to be their 11.

NoTea4448 · 2023-03-24T03:31:28+00:00

YES.

Thank you. Red Pill men are the most hypocrital subhumans on the planet.

"Woe is me. I can't find a virgin to marry."

Proceeds to look up how guides on how fuck as many women as possible

Honestly, I feel bad for modern women. They're expected to be whores and virgins at the same time.

Title	You can't expect women to care about "purity", as long as they keep getting inconsistent messages from men.....
Author	Urbantexasguy
Upvotes	175
Comments	489
Date	March 22, 2023 3:57 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/11ynchn/you_cant_expect_women_to_care_about_purity_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/you-cant-expect-women-to-care-about-purity-as-long.1186711 https://theredarchive.com/post/1186711

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