You are not a victim just because nobody wants to date you. Loneliness and sexlessness is just an unfortunate by product of free will, which proceeds all other rights in dating

Spicycloth · 2025-04-25T14:36:37+00:00

It's often stuff like this where I go back to the doctrines of Jefferson. The founding fathers of America expressed that all men have the unalienable rights to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. But how did the founding fathers know to put the "PURSUIT OF" in there?

Well because deep down its possible all of us know that happiness can not just be completely granted to everyone. It's just not possible. In this scenario of the original post, a man can not be just granted a love, a relationship, etc without some massive overreach of the goverment or the rights of others. But, he is given the right to PURSUE IT, right up until his death.

You arent entitled to happiness but you are entitled to pursue it. This is just one of many bitter sweet rules we live by in this century.

ComfortableJeans · 2025-04-25T12:58:17+00:00

There's lots of things in life that are down right torturous and aren't the fault of anyone.

Living a life devoid of love and the deep, deep connections that brings sounds horrible. That's arguably one of the most important parts of life.

More than money, more than... Well, anything really. Love has always been a more powerful feeling than anything else.

Having to live life knowing you'll never get to experience one of, if not it's best aspect is... Not good.

I mean, yeah. There's other stuff. But it's like going to a restaurant and only being able to eat the bread sticks. And you have to go every day, and see all the other people enjoying their real meals.

If I'd spent 30 years in a restaurant sucking on different types of bread sticks, watching everyone eat until they were full and satisfied, I'd likely collapse in on myself, also.

Love is one of the most important things in the world. We shouldn't immediately gaslight certain people, telling them that love is some unimportant, trivial thing the second we figure out they can't have it.

No one has ever laid on their death bed and thought that they should have wasted less time on love.

I also don't like that if people even acknowledge this in reference to themselves, they're immediately demonized and the default reaction of to bellow at them that they're not entitled to anything.

As though upon finding out that a person is unloved, the most important thing to do is ensure that they understand that they don't deserve it, aren't entitled to it and that it's likely to be their own fault. Followed up with some lies about how love isn't even a big deal.

Honestly, if you were to ask people to choose between a life for their child that would be filled with love but little money, or a life that would be devoid of love but rich in money, I can't imagine anyone with a brain would pick the latter option.

I don't know if I would technically consider them to be victims of another person/group, but it's still an absolutely brutal existence that wreaks havoc on the mind and body.

I don't struggle to understand how a person who's never laid in bed with their person that they're wildly in love with, kissing and holding one another could be heartbroken and incredibly frustrated by that.

So heartbroken and frustrated that they get overwhelmed by it.

They can be victims of circumstance.

Edit: This is like my, 36th hour of being awake, and my 8th editing of the post to fix my grammatical fuck ups, so the mistakes are just going to have to stay for now.

kinesteticsynestetic · 2025-04-25T13:33:23+00:00

I think you're conflating the idea that lonely men are victims with the idea that women are their victimizers. You're arguing against the latter while labelling it the former.

Men who are not capable of finding a romantic or sexual relationship with a woman are not being victimized by women, but they can be considered a victim of circumstances.

I am a 25 year old virgin man, I have suffered a lot mentally because of this and have been in therapy for it (among other things) since I was 15. Despite that, I continue to suffer hours long depressive episodes that only get worse as I grow older. Are women to blame for this? No. I have never blamed the girls that have rejected me nor women in general because they do not owe me love and/or sex. I have always blamed myself which resulted in some of mental issues getting worse. I would not call myself a victim because of this, I don't think the label applies, but there is certainly an argument for me being a victim of the circumstances of my life (some of which I had control over, some not).

Men in my position who blame women only do so as a coping/defence mechanism, it's psychologically easier to blame women because it distracts you from the distress you're experiencing. There is also the fact that a lot of men like this don't think they can do anything to change it, although most of them can. I believed I was doomed to be lonely forever until a few months and have since then trying to improve myself, but it took 10 years for me to get to that.

throwawaypi123 · 2025-04-25T14:18:05+00:00

Yeh you are exactly right. There is no victims or blame to be attributed anywhere in regards to dating, Natural selection is a brutal force. But the realpolitik of the situation is that there will be some very angry men who have never gotten any and will never be able too and personally I don't want to be at risk of being gunned down or knived by some incel.

I would rather society come up with some coherent solution rather than whats on offer, which is

A. Shitting on them and calling them names

B. Giving them incoherent advice bordering on nonsense

C. Saying there isn't even an issue

mrcsrnne · 2025-04-25T13:29:38+00:00

Victim...victim is the wrong word. A word that very few people would use. You are unfortunate and maybe suffering but it's not due to being a victim.

This statement is phrased in a way that very few that it describes would agree with.

captaindestucto · 2025-04-25T12:58:30+00:00

A person can be a victim of circumstance or bad luck - or even there own poor choices - without implying there's any obligation on others.

Efficient-Baker1694 · 2025-04-25T16:00:13+00:00

Wouldn’t I be a victim of natural selection and/or circumstance? I mean I didn’t choose to be seen as universally ugly to women. I didn’t choose to have autism. I didn’t choose to go through with 0 romantic experiences at 30. I didn’t choose of going to add another 4 decades of 0 romantic experiences. While yes I’m not and never will be entitled to those things, I also didn’t get to choose whether I got to experience those things are not. IMO, blaming women for this would only be scratching the surface. The real blame should go towards God for having me created this way and making these choices without any input from me.

Perfect_Sir4820 · 2025-04-25T16:26:08+00:00

And you're not a victim because:

a one night stand ghosted you
your date didn't pay for your dinner or give you a ride home
a man didnt walk you home or to your car or take care of you when you were drunk
you don't get paid as much as a man who works more hours at a more demanding job
your male co-workers like to socialize outside of work hours
you couldn't join the boy scouts as a child
the father of your child has 50/50 custody
a man hit you back
a group advocates for mens rights
a domestic violence shelter for men exists
etc, etc, etc

oppositegeneva · 2025-04-25T12:57:10+00:00

Loneliness and sexlessness is just an unfortunate by product of free will

Objectively the truth, and I would be surprised if anyone has a solid argument to refute it.

Lonely men (and women) are always going to be upset about it and vent online. We should stop trying to stop them and let them live the way they are clearly choosing to.

No_Airport2112 · 2025-04-25T13:11:30+00:00

Maybe I'm not on here enough. Are there really many people here who say men are victims and women should be forced to date them? This rhetoric seems to be a way for people to completely shield women from any criticism whatsoever. It's not about morality, it's a complicated subject that people like myself want to navigate in the most compassionate form possible.

I do also find it funny that people have this attitude about romantic relationships but not other relationships. You don't have a right to friends or family either, but if someone was being left out for being too tall, ugly or a little too autistic from those groups you'd have a different reaction, a more sympathetic one I imagine.

HammieFondler · 2025-04-25T13:15:58+00:00

Nobody is a victim of any one person's choice in particular. However to look at a world where some suffer more because of factors entirely out of their control and throw your hands up and go "welp, nothing we can do about it" is completely morally bankrupt imo. There are ways to make dating outcomes better for everyone without impinging on people's free will to choose their partners.

There are things you can do to improve your genetic hand

Did nobody else catch this? What the fuck are you talking about OP? Is your name He Jiankui?

Green-Quantity1032 · 2025-04-25T15:03:31+00:00

You are not a victim just because nobody wants to give you money. Poorness and homelessness is just an unfortunate by product of free will, which proceeds all other rights in trading

You can’t make somebody donate to you, or force somebody else to be ok with you taking their money.

Market trades are entirely free will.

And nobody literally forced YOU to be the human you are. There are things you can do to improve your genetic hand, and things you can do to improve your skills etc, but your effort also doesn’t and shouldn’t guarantee you a win.

There are no victims in the trading game when it comes to not be wealthy. It’s unfortunate, but morally, nobody is at fault.

I of course agree

WillyDonDilly69 · 2025-04-25T17:33:53+00:00

Ok so why are women allowed to use their free will to ruin reputation of some guys just because they don't like them. Like a guy asks a woman out and that woman starts talking shit to others behind his back thus ruining his ability to ask out other women. Why isn't that seen like trash behaviour??? Ohh because the saying "Believe all women" or "All women are right". Fuck off.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2025-04-25T13:05:37+00:00

I agree that no one is owed sex or a date by anyone.

But people can be victims of circumstance and victims of misfortune.

People can suffer from things they aren't responsible for, which no one else is at moral fault for.

You seem to be insisting that for someone to be a victim, another person must necessarily be a victimizer. This is a much more specific use of the word "victim" than is common in everyday speech (we often talk about victims of disease or victims of natural disasters, for example), but let me grant this strangely narrow use of the term and ask you this:

Does this mean someone cannot be a "victim" of institutional racism? Because institutional racism is defined in a manner that doesn't require any bigoted beliefs or intent - ergo, racism without racists. No victimizers, therefore no victims.

Or are you ONLY trying to stop men from considering themselves "victims" of misfortune in the realm of romance/dating?

Because, going on this thread and your previous threads on precisely this same topic, it seems like your frustration is more directed towards men asserting victimhood than it is about the definition of what a "victim" is.

And if this is true, then you're really just proving the MHRAs (people like Warren Farrell) correct - we live in a society that dismisses male pain, laughs at men who suffer and considers them lesser men for suffering, and can't even tolerate men expressing pain. Hence, your actions across several threads on this subreddit across a small space of time.

lovelesslibertine · 2025-04-25T20:19:58+00:00

That's fine. But the same should be true of resources, labour and protection. But women are entitled to all those things from men.

johnnyferrera · 2025-04-25T12:50:58+00:00

Is this a principle you apply consistently? So free will in all respects? No objective morality? Or you do you pick and choose?|

Every_Pirate_7471 · 2025-04-25T12:43:29+00:00

Sure nobody is at fault. At the same time I feel my obligations to a society that believes our obligations to each other are minimal are also minimal. Obey the law is basically the only obligation in this case.

savethebros · 2025-04-25T13:29:50+00:00

Sure, as long as you apply this to both genders

QuiteBlurry · 2025-04-25T17:32:01+00:00

People agreeing with you seem to accept your premise that victims always get a direct redress for their loss and that redress is of their choosing. That's not true on either count. I understand that some men imply or flat out say that's what they are entitled to, and those men could not be more wrong. But by defining the broader issue of men (and women) who can't find partners in those terms and those terms only, you invite people to say nothing can be done and leave it at that.

But what's wrong with looking for and investing in remedies or potential remedies that don't infringe on anyone's rights? To start on the largest scale and focusing on men (since the issue here anyway almost always is about men), why are sperm counts and testosterone levels so much lower than a couple of generations ago? Anyone confident that doesn't translate into some issues men have with dating, or that women notice and select against?

Is Autism and related disorders more prevalent than in the past beyond better diagnostics and awareness? If so, why?

And speaking of Autism, while I really do understand why it's hard to be sympathetic with adult men (Autistic or not) who make extreme claims and demands, some of those men could have been easily identified at age 5 as someone who was not going to thrive socially. Anyone against helping a 5 yr old have a better shot at a fuller life as an adult? Ima fight you if you say yes. But seriously, are we doing enough as parents and educators and society to give today's 5 year old a better shot at progressing socially in a more typical way? Make that 5 year old non white or poor and he has almost no shot.

Mental health for boys and young men all good? Really?

Education system serving male children just fine? Then why are boys lagging?

Why are boys lagging? That's the TLDR.

A lack of institutional rights of passage for young men? Check.

Third places mostly gone? Check.

Men's natural, somewhat untamed sexuality and energy supect? Check.

That's not an exhaustive list. I don't know if any of that makes men victims. That's a semantic question anyway. But if we throw our hands up and say "Oh well, sucks to be you" to that five year old who will be a messed up 15 year old and a perhaps an unsalvageable 25 or 35 year old one day, are we acting morally?

Tuatara77 · 2025-04-25T17:32:56+00:00

Wrong. Life decides who wins and who loses, to a degree, if you're born uglier than an Neanderthal, or whatever, you have been fucked, you're a victim of life, human culture and biology. You're definitely not entitled to anything, but life is a cruel place.

United_Iron369 · 2025-04-25T23:12:41+00:00

I find that people who are so adamant that men shouldn't get a helping hand in the dating market also happen to be staunch socialists/communists - a complete hypocrisy.

aleknovy · 2025-04-25T23:27:15+00:00

There's no such thing as "nobody wants to date you". It's how you find the ones that do without humiliation, embarrassment and suffering. And this is the part that lonely guys deal with.

Loneliness and sexlessness in 99.99999% of situations is about not knowing how to initiate dating and how to flirt. It's rare that any of these guys are completely un-date-able.

For every one of these guys there are girls who would date him, but he doesn't know who these girls are as they sit around and wait for him to initiate.

And the victim hood part is real... It is about being the victim of societal gaslighting about how dating works.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2025-04-25T15:18:37+00:00

Do you apply this to every single aspect of life or just the ones where men don't have the upper hand?

Albedo200 · 2025-04-25T14:15:58+00:00

While it is true that u cant and shouldnt force people to date you or like what u have, the unfortunate reality is that there are some people born with all or many of the undesirable traits. (Being ugly, short, small penis , unintelligent etc). They didnt choose to be born that way, so you cant really argue people have freewill when some of the most fundamental aspect of their body and life, they didnt choose. There is only so much u can do with what u have realistically and in most cases its never enough.

So its incorrect to say lonely people arent victims. They are the victims of fate. And its also incorrect to say people have free will, people only have freedom for their actions, not free will

VladTheInhalerOf · 2025-04-25T12:44:52+00:00

No one is entitled to the fruits of their labour but with without hard work you certainly won't have fruit to indulge in.

Keep in shape, become a good person, become and attractive person and that isn't a physical thing. Be someone people like being around. Be proud of who you are, take your challenges with resilience and calm and always love yourself even if you're not there yet. Go easy on yourself and stay the fuck away from Internet rooms designed to share in your misery rather than build you up.

Proudvow · 2025-04-25T13:52:57+00:00

If less people are doing it than before then the individual could be a victim of societal shifts. Way more people were dating in the 2000s than now.

AsturaeConiecto · 2025-04-25T12:46:50+00:00

Nobody's forced to marry you and give you children.

Yet, sperm banks exist. And suggorate pregnancies are forbidden in a lot of countries. Prostitution is forbidden most places as well.

There's a general societal effort to make women independant from men, but to keep men dependent from women.

So yes, nobody is victim of other's personal freedoms. However there's some sort of problem going on if society keeps maintaining men dependent but doesn't hold women accountable for not contributing. And by contributing, I mean contributing femininely.

It should also be noted that demographic shrinking hurts young men the most in this scenario.

UpstairsAd1235 · 2025-04-25T14:45:15+00:00

All I will say is this:

People's actions have consequences.

It is a fact that dating has changed, but not entirely because of "free will." I would say that it changed due to certain ideologies spreading a specific thought pattern to the masses. That is what really changed dating. In a couple of decades, we will really see the consequences I'm talking about. Until then, you can go on and believe that what's going on nowadays is for the better of society or humans as a whole (It is not). You are "free" to believe what you may.

DelDivision · 2025-04-25T15:12:02+00:00

If you're over 25 and see no hope in site, outside of harming others, do you. Rather it's becoming a neet, going to the woods or even at worse check out(if you know what I mean). As I get older I realize this life ain't for everyone and if your at the bottom with minimal chances of getting out then hey just like society doesn't owe you, you don't owe society either.

BaldieMonkey · 2025-04-25T18:43:16+00:00

"Love and sex is entirely free will."

"There are things you can do to improve your genetic hand"

"but your effort also doesn't and shouldn't guarantee you a win."

So, if even with all the efforts in the world there is still a chance that you will never have love or sex, then it's not enirely free will ...

Which means that there will be losers and winners in romance, implying the losers are victims of badluck.

Now cross that information with the saying "aLl YoU nEeD iS tO bEtTeR yOuRsElF aNd Be CoNfIdEnT" and you understand why some people are feeling let down by the faytales society is giving them since birth.

But god forbid they vent about their problem with other people having the same problem.

abaxeron · 2025-04-25T19:07:52+00:00

I've got no problem with women who don't want to date me. I have a problem of having to pay them reparations at the expense of my SO and my child. I have not lost any wars to them for it to be the case.

evo1d0er · 2025-04-25T14:50:22+00:00

You could say the same thing about access to food and water. Unfortunately, we have built social nets for helping people who’s lot in life, whether chosen or not, prevents them from creating their own access to these things. Of course these social nets predominately assist females and are often specifically and deliberately exclusionary to men.

Just because no one is owed access someone’s body, companionship, or even LABOR, doesn’t mean we haven’t created a fucked up society where these things are artificially hard to access. And unfortunately, even though NO ONE is OWED access to anyone’s labor, we continue to strip a percentage of men’s labor and hand it to women for free.

(USA Women earn 45% of all pay, pay <40% of all taxes, and receive ~60% of all social benefits that taxes pay for. Source irs.gov and don’t come at me with wage gap bs, that is an EARNING gap not pay gap, it only applies to women with children. Women under 30 make equal or more than men under 30 on average. So for the vast majority of Reddit users the wage gap is actually on the men’s side if it exists at all)

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JonMyMon · 2025-04-25T14:56:03+00:00

Technically, I don't think free will makes any sense as a concept. I believe that all we are is a combination of genetics and environment. Those two things have influenced every decision we have ever made. Free will sounds like some imaginary third thing that doesn't exist. What this lens does, is it gives you a more empathetic perspective. You can be a victim of your own genetics and environment. Most people aren't saying that your effort should guarantee a win. I consider that to be a strawman. What you're essentially saying is "pull yourselves up by your bootstraps" which might be good advice if you're speaking to an individual, but is a way to be dismissive if you're speaking to society at large.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-04-25T16:10:52+00:00

True its one of the few struggles in life that no one really cares if you are successful at and no one can do anything for you if you arent.

Its still one of the most desirable things if not the most you can do in life so yeah it definitely sucks if you arent able to succeed in it.

I guess thats why paying for hookers could kinda make sense at a certain point because some men would probably never see a vagina without the service.

WillyDonDilly69 · 2025-04-25T17:44:26+00:00

How is that ACTUAL free will when we live in a world full of propaganda and feminism that make women act entitled and treat guys like shit. Like in most times when guys get embarrassed on videos are because they were shy not because they were assholes.

The unfortunate product of loneliness is amplifyed because women alienate men by doing the WEAKEST and most pathetic thing imaginable, taking revenge by blaming guys that didn't do anything for the actions a few assholes/criminals. The only men who were affected are the once who were innocent.

DotBugs · 2025-04-25T18:05:02+00:00

Your language seems to contradict the point you are trying to make. If it really is all free will and there are no victims, why is it unfortunate when certain people aren’t chosen? It is an undesirable outcome for the person, sure, but arent you saying they are getting what they deserve? Isnt it a desirable outcome for society when people get what they deserve?

Also, you speak about a persons “genetic hand” and how “effort doesn’t guarantee a win”. These are points a determist might bring up to demonstrate a lack of free will.

OMWSpuds · 2025-04-25T19:45:38+00:00

Again this oversimplification of "no one deserves a relationship" and "all's fair in love and war". The primary points argued by a lot of say forever alone men is that the game is rigged against them and therefore it is immoral to expect them to play and compete under these circumstances.

You can argue that they are wrong, but then stick to that instead of this whole "fair's fair" business. Socialization matters, sociopolitical and cultural zeitgeists matter, conventional and societal prescriptions matter, technology matters, among many other factors.

If all's fair in love and war all's fair in also everything else but obviously that's not the case.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2025-04-25T20:03:38+00:00

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LawfulnessSuper5091 · 2025-04-25T22:46:57+00:00

True, two points:

I tend to think most people can do things to get across the line, improving as much as possible. Part of this is also accepting some compromise eg I don't have to have a 21 year old who looks like an only fans model but is a virgin etc.
The concept of people missing out is a worthwhile one to discuss I think, provided it's not put in terms of absolute entitlement, such that it starts to contemplate controlling others (usually women) or removing consent. The most fascinating thing I've ever read in this regard is the now famous London Review essay on the right to sex by Amia Srinivasan.

Neptune-Jnr · 2025-04-25T23:36:44+00:00

Not a victim but you are allowed to feel bad about it.

RecognitionSoft9973 · 2025-04-26T01:35:35+00:00

I feel like you're really minimizing what loneliness and sexlessness are like. Have you experienced these things yourself? If so, what lead you to this line of thought? Is it a cope for you?

If you've never experienced these two things to any degree, then your advice is only going to fall on deaf ears.

Love and sex is entirely free will.

Free will can be and is manipulated all the time by bad people for their own causes. Think every pill ideology out there. TRP = trying to extract resources from women (physically and emotionally). FDS/pink pill = trying to extract resources from men (financially and socially).

And nobody literally forced YOU to be the human you are. There are things you can do to improve your genetic hand, and things you can do to improve your confidence and charisma etc, but your effort also doesn't and shouldn't guarantee you a win.

This is true. Maybe it all comes down to luck. So what do we conclude from this? That we should all give up? Why should we accept this as the only conclusion? Like yes, X% of people will die alone and X% of people will die virgins. It sounds like you want people to give up and blame themselves for things that could well and truly be out of their control. I don't see the point of making peace with that at an age younger than 90. I'm sure people will, if they're strong-willed enough.

There are no victims in the dating game when it comes to not be chosen. It's unfortunate, but morally, nobody is at fault.

Not wrong at all, but there are societal factors we can blame for sure. Why fight to improve society then? Just keep the status quo and accept that you're never going to be equal?

Decent_Photograph_36 · 2025-04-26T02:46:48+00:00

I agree. They are not a victim from the standpoint of dating. The victimhood part is how society (men and women) get a free shot at constantly ridiculing and insulting these guys whenever, however, and for whatever reason they feel like.

It’s low hanging fruit to insult a guy for not being able to get women. And it’s becoming a comeback for almost anything a person can say.

QuietFartOutLoud · 2025-04-26T05:11:57+00:00

I agree. But women need to hear the same thing. 50% of this gender war is women that are aging out of the dating market trying to make the age of consent 26 and shaming men for not being hot for a 40 year old that wants to be treated like a virgin.

Naebany · 2025-04-26T08:39:23+00:00

Well actually you can force somone. But that's what we call rape.

You can't help you genetics, they are what they are. But yes you can maximize your attractiveness in various ways.

Some guys just have it much harder than others and are frustrated about it. I guess they know all that they just want some empathy from those more fortunate.

Yes, Noone is to blame for not wanting less desirables. I don't think anyone is making this argument. But I guess you can pity those unlucky ones.

Slingshot7765 · 2025-04-26T12:28:46+00:00

Would you say this to someone who was starving? Sure, hunger is an unfortunate part of the human condition, but telling them to suck it up like this just lacks empathy.

throwaway917293 · 2025-04-26T16:10:47+00:00

This is fucking common sense, though...

Alert_Experience_759 · 2025-04-26T17:02:22+00:00

you can be a victim of nature, or society, or circumstance

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-04-25T13:40:02+00:00

You are not a victim just because nobody wants to date you. Loneliness and sexlessness is just an unfortunate by product of free will, which proceeds all other rights in dating

Imagine saying: you are not a victim because nobody wants to pay you the same as a man for the same work and qualification, to a woman. Lower salary offerings are just an unfortunate by product of living in a patriarchy, which informs and rules over all other rights of women.

Oh, you want to get rid of the system? Change things to be more equal? Why not also in dating? Change free will in dating, like we changed free will in patriarchy. Why not?

You can't make somebody touch you, or force somebody else to be ok with you touching them sexually.

No, but you can put social/financial/legal pressure on people who are unmarried and who don't have sex with their spouses. To a point where people rather conform than face the consequences.. you know, just like in patriarchy with sexism.

There are no victims in the dating game when it comes to not be chosen. It's unfortunate, but morally, nobody is at fault.

Morals can be changed. There are no universal morals. Every atrocity in the history of mankind has been conducted with moral conviction of doing the right thing. How we treated the LGBTQ scene 30 years ago was seen as morally fine, nobody at fault. Discriminating against x? Morally fine, just a few years ago. Morals change, have always changed and will always change. What we do now will be seen as deeply immoral in the future, when looking back.

Why would being so egocentric and selfish to deny other people human connection "because you don't feel like it", leading to them suffering from severe consequences be seen as the moral thing to do? We help the misfortunate in all areas of life, but when it comes to loneliness? FUCK THEM! right?

Dertross · 2025-04-25T13:40:08+00:00

You are not a victim just because nobody wants to date you.

I am

Loneliness and sexlessness is just an unfortunate by product of free will, which proceeds all other rights

That's not even true outside of-

dating

Right.

This mentality is just a derivative of feminism. We need social, financial, and government intervention everywhere to make society more fair, except in the one place where females have an overwhelming advantage. Coincidence? I think not.

Technical-Minute2140 · 2025-04-25T14:38:12+00:00

Sure. That doesn’t mean we can’t be upset nobody wants us, though. Doesn’t mean we can’t be upset we haven’t gotten a core part of the overall human experience either imo. You’d be upset if you wanted to date and never could, too.

Cultural-Ad-8486 · 2025-04-25T13:35:00+00:00

Relationships and sex are basic human needs.

Yes, people have free will and therefore it is impossible to force anyone to be with someone, but it is still a basic need, even if it is not mandatory to provide (like food, water, medicine, housing, etc., they are also not mandatory to provide, but for some reason no one questions their importance).

/thread

TubularBrainRevolt · 2025-04-25T13:31:52+00:00

Free will might just not exist. After all, there are people who are experts in manipulation and get whatever they want. Ethical guys are the ones that remain lonely.

Vikklee · 2025-04-25T15:08:39+00:00

I agree with this, however it’s okay to be sad about being lonely. It’s just not okay when they begin to feel angry and attack others online. People will always wallow in self pity, we can’t change that. It’s just kind of sad when they get so caught up in their victimhood that they spend all their time online complaining about not getting laid instead of changing it. Even going so far as to become a “volcel” and join online hate forums dedicated to saying vile things about women.

The original activity of “man this sucks” and finding support for it online isn’t the problem. The problem is when they go down the pipeline of “inceldom” or the really bad hateful redpill side.

Barely-moral · 2025-04-25T15:19:32+00:00

The solution is in technology. A technological replacement that has no free will and no rights.

ArtifactFan65 · 2025-04-25T22:58:58+00:00

You can be a victim of the cruelty of nature without it being a particular person's fault.

Manifestival1 · 2025-04-25T14:03:47+00:00

One of the key findings from a study on incels by University of Swansea last year was: 'Attitudes and beliefs: Participants perceived high levels of victimhood, anger and misogyny. They also acknowledged a shared worldview among incels which includes identifying feminists as a primary enemy.'

I guess it's the anger that causes them to want someone to blame for their misfortune. Which consequently positions them as victims. But only in their irrational perception of course. It's 'victimhood' not the literal experience of being a victim. It would of course require more effort to look at improving oneself instead. It also requires a level of insight that might be difficult to access as incels 'typically display extremely poor mental health.'

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/predicting-harm-among-incels-involuntary-celibates/predicting-harm-among-incels-involuntary-celibates-the-roles-of-mental-health-ideological-belief-and-social-networking-accessible#methods

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