lusting after a body =/= unconditional love

No-Mulberry7538 · 2025-08-11T18:43:40+00:00

Healthy love is conditional and says no too. Unless you are friends and have known someone for awhile, how you appear to someone gets you a date, and then if you're healthy, you say no as you get to know them and are not complementing each other.

PrecisionHat · 2025-08-11T18:50:55+00:00

There is no such thing as unconditional love.

ComfortableJeans · 2025-08-11T19:41:15+00:00

I know you didn't want everything to come down to definitions, but I feel as though it's very important in this topic. Particularly the social definition of conditional/unconditional.

Everything in all of existence is conditional. It's a constant. From human emotions to galaxy destroying chemical reactions. Nothing happens that isn't a dependent on something else.

Something being without conditions is purely imaginary. It can't be. Not while obeying the laws of reality, anyway.

Even a parent loving their child is dependent on the condition that they're their child, in some form or another. Even that likely has it's limits. I imagine you might stop loving your child if it did something truly horrendous with intention.

What people mean when they refer to "unconditional" love, is love that comes from a transaction that they deem more wholesome than otherwise. For instance, a person falling in love with another person due to their kindness and tenderness would be deemed a more genuine love, or, a more wholesome transaction.

Where as a person falling in love for money would be seen as a less genuine love.

The use of "unconditional" just refers to the nature of the transaction, as everything in reality is a conditional transaction.

Generally, this comes down to this silly things humans do, where we use words not by their given definitions, but by our social or internal definitions, which leads to confusion. In this case, they're using unconditional when they mean to use wholesome.

It's all quite complicated. Generally, my advice would be not to miss out of the amazing because you were too busy looking for the perfect. Because perfect doesn't exist.

Just because the true 100% pure substance cannot exist, doesn't mean that the 99% isn't functionally as good for our purposes.

It's also worth noting that love may not be an ongoing transaction, but a transaction that infrequently is in play, or even once. Such as saving someone, or being there for someone at a very difficult time.

X took care of me when I was Y, I'll always love them for that.

A thing doesn't have to be because it IS, it can also be because it WAS.

Condition is not ipso facto negative, the nature of the condition is what decides it's orientation... Well, and the nature of the observer, but I'm just running with what I generally feel the vast majority of people would assign negative/positive.

While all love is conditional, all conditions are not equal.

Loving someone because they have big tits/lots of money is what, I imagine, most people, would define as an unwholesome type of love, and look down on it as a result.

I'd argue that a man who enters a relationship with a woman for her body, is merely the male counterpart to a woman who enters a relationship with a man for access to his money.

Both are unwholesome, or bad.

TasteAccomplished · 2025-08-11T18:54:29+00:00

Well yeah, most people of either gender aren't going to stay with someone they simply no longer find unattractive, emotionally or physically

behappyfor · 2025-08-11T19:34:01+00:00

Exactly men here are the most conditional. They don't like obsese, fat, ugly, whoring around, someone that can't cook, someone that can't clean, doesn't make children women. Yet their love is unconditional. Just bullshit

Also one study shows that men are far more likely to leave their partner if she gets cancer or some type of serious disease.

Their love is mostly looks based

Ultramega39 · 2025-08-11T19:03:29+00:00

Nobody is capable of loving anything unconditionally.

Honestly, none of us deserve unconditional love anyways.

Mammoth_Control · 2025-08-12T17:05:12+00:00

Sure. I don't disagree. But anyone who is being honest with themselves understands this.

If the goal is an LTR, one should understand that physical attraction is likely to wane over the years, let alone accidents or illness.

ravager999 · 2025-08-11T18:42:58+00:00

relationship require physical, mental and emotional benefits from both man and woman so if you say that man only lust for woman bodies and woman lust for money you are wrong. Love knows no bounds and woman smell lustful men miles away and men smell gold diggers.

Southern_Source_2580 · 2025-08-11T18:53:41+00:00

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No matter what you say, money is ultimately not and will never be a person, a persons face aka body is uniquely theirs its a fingerprint, placing twins with the exact same traits and character next to eachother yet place one twin with a winning lottery ticket of a billion, you'd argue that its not at all shameful to lust after the one with the billion. Meanwhile another lady chooses the one without the lottery ticket would show to everyone else she loves him not the money while your behavior shows you love the money which is ultimatly not him. Gold Digger is an accurate term for women like this. And player exists for the male equivalent you are talking about. Both are terrible people yet somehow the player is more closer to the persons unique traits than just an atm to leech off of. Just like how women find it shallow to be desired for their looks and pretend be loved for themselves, men find it shallow when a woman pretends to love them for their money.

IridikronsNo1Fan · 2025-08-11T20:02:50+00:00

Yea idk what's going on here. Most guys would be positively thrilled if someone found them hot enough to go on a date with them just because of their looks.

Thuggin95 · 2025-08-11T19:45:21+00:00

Men are much more likely to desire sex with any given woman than women are to desire sex with any given man. However, a woman is 6x more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer or multiple sclerosis than if a man in the relationship is the patient.

Men and women are both superficial in different ways. Most men seem to indicate that they are attracted to most women on some level, but if they aren’t attracted to a woman at first glance, they won’t pursue it further. And that love is often dependent on sustaining that physical attraction. Whereas women may not always be attracted to a man to start, but they’re more likely to build that attraction and love over time.

Srapture · 2025-08-12T00:39:01+00:00

Who's claiming that? What you're saying is obviously true. I haven't seen anyone suggest otherwise.

TempDong · 2025-08-12T17:50:50+00:00

it’s equally as selfish for a woman to “love” a man because he is rich as it is for a man to “love” a woman because she has big tits. you love her because she has something that benefits you.

I'm going to ignore the whole "unconditional love" debate and just say I agree with this. If you're love is predicated on a strictly simple measurement rather than the whole person, then it is shallow.

DarkBahamut191 · 2025-08-11T18:33:42+00:00

I don't really think that most men are capable of loving someone other than themselves tbh

MongoBobalossus · 2025-08-11T18:36:03+00:00

Look, my lady has two great personalititties that I love deeply, thank you very much.

WebNew9978 · 2025-08-11T19:33:27+00:00

We all date or want to date because we are physically attracted to someone and we hope we feel the same way about. So physical attraction does play a role into dating and love. What you don’t want it to be that physical attraction being the only reason as to why you’re together. If it is, then it’s going to be a disaster.

DietTyrone · 2025-08-11T20:48:31+00:00

Only kids and pets can get unconditional love. Adults have to actually work for love and work to maintain it.

Inomaker · 2025-08-11T18:50:24+00:00

I haven't really seen many men arguing this point. I don't believe in unconditional love. I do believe that women's attractive traits are mostly inherited and men's attractive traits are mostly earned.

Following on this, when men begin dating, the only condition is attraction which women have mostly inherited and didn't have to earn. When women begin to date, the men must check a list of criteria to be considered. Women essentially just need to be a decent person and exist.

Vaudeville_Clown · 2025-08-12T07:56:10+00:00

Here we go again. "Lusting after a body". Feminist rage-take wrapped up in an unconscious side of retrograde prudishness.

The thing is, any man who's a little flexible, somewhere between mostly straight and bi, knows that there's nothing cheap about men's lust. Even though you (as this kind of guy), might actually be mostly wired to prefer women's bodies, the fact that a man can get completely aroused just by seeing you naked is wild and gratifying as hell. It may in fact do all the difference for you.

It's raw, but also incredibly pure and simple in intent. Most women are fundementally incapable to give this attention to almost any man.

Not just for actual sex partners mind. You can get and give low-key erotic attention easily with gay men and feel validated as hell. The queer (male dominated) places I've been to, it was easy and baked into the social fabric.

And despite the obligatory man hate that women must adopt for political correctness, a lot of women grieve getting older, when that look and energy never seems to land on them anymore.

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MarioWilson122 · 2025-08-11T21:09:39+00:00

Yeah people especially when they are young will care alot about the way a person looks. That is what draws a person in and that goes for both sexes so that isnt really a man thing. Now if a couple gets old together and have spent decades with eachother its easier for them to stay together. This is rather the looks faded or became deformed in someway. Even then theres no guarantee but the likelihood is way better then a relationship thats brand new or has only been going for a short while.

misterchestnut87 · 2025-08-13T07:43:35+00:00

I agree with the general sentiment. Social media—particularly the e-girl/influencer subculture—and Internet porn have destroyed how people perceive, recognize, and internalize love. People need to touch some grass and disconnect themselves from these things to get back to understanding how beautiful and deep love can really be.

MikaeleEvna · 2025-08-15T00:22:24+00:00

I'm a heteromantic bisexual and being like this made me realize the difference between sexual chemistry and romantic love. Imagine the confusion in the minds of people who can't tell the difference between the two.

MoneyTrees2018 · 2025-08-17T21:55:53+00:00

The better way to say it, is that men LUST unconditionally. They don't need their women to jump through hoops to get aroused

Barely-moral · 2025-08-11T18:41:48+00:00

You could start by providing your definition of what love/loving is.

That way we would know what to discuss.

You seem to.believe that love can't be selfish. But that an assumption. Far from being an actual understanding of what you mean by love.

Ramzabeo · 2025-08-11T22:08:16+00:00

Idk man i still make love to my wifey the same wat i did hen i first met her, once a day minimum, idc that we have had 2 kids and she doesnt look the same, to me its about the connection and how well we know eachother after 14 years together.

Once we broke up for like a month on like year 6? Before we got married, and i slept with a woman who was way more attractive, and i didnt even enjoy it half as much, so i think when you love someone for real it just feels different.

Turbulent-Company373 · 2025-08-11T22:30:18+00:00

Lust is a part of physical/sexual attraction. Nothing wrong with feeling that way sometimes.

YveisGrey · 2025-08-12T00:49:23+00:00

People saying unconditional love doesn’t exist are missing the point.

I agree I don’t think men love any better than women I think women at their baseline just have more to offer men than vice versa. You know the whole eggs are expensive sperm is cheap thing. Of course men thirst for women more because they are the “scarce resource” in the mating game but they shouldn’t confuse this thirst for being a more genuine form of love. Men who make such claims about men’s love towards women are just not understanding that dynamic.

Hot_Detective_7941 · 2025-08-12T07:02:54+00:00

"Love is fleeting. It’s a brief spark that flares in the heavens, bursting forth in a cascade of glory only to be snuffed out in the darkness of space".

BrutallyHonestTruth9 · 2025-08-12T07:11:26+00:00

You are correct. There is no such thing as unconditional love.

flipsidetroll · 2025-08-11T21:07:36+00:00

If men really loved unconditionally, there wouldn’t be redpill or mgtow or blackpill, because they wouldn’t care what women did or how they acted. That if the definition of unconditionally, loving despite everything to the contrary. The fact that men still say this, shows me how stupid those men are.

Inevitable-Bite8660 · 2025-08-12T00:29:47+00:00

When I see these guys acting like only men’s love is sacred, here’s exactly what cracks me up:

If a man falls for a woman because of her looks, that’s “unconditional and noble love.” But if a woman falls for a man because of his abilities, that’s “conditional and opportunistic.” And if she falls for a Chad purely because of his looks? Suddenly that’s “shallow and materialistic.” Do they not have any concept of consistency in their heads?
They say “a woman is valuable just for being born” — then turn around and say a woman over 30 has no value. Some lunatics even set the cut-off at 25… or 18.
Apparently, if a young woman eats five Big Mac meals a day for just two weeks, her “natural value” instantly evaporates. Meanwhile, if a hardworking full-time man starts underperforming at work, it takes at least a month before that’s reflected in his performance review and pay. Honestly, isn’t it harder for a young man to suddenly develop some bizarre dementia-like condition that wipes out his diligence, patience, kindness, impulse control, rational judgment, and work motivation… than for a young woman to gain weight? So which is more “fundamental”?
Women check a man’s height. But isn’t height more fundamental than a woman’s looks? It’s genetically fixed, far harder to change than dieting, and—statistically speaking—you’re probably more likely to survive a horrific accident that leaves you paralyzed from the waist down than you are to suddenly grow taller. By that logic, women who prefer tall men are already doing “more unconditional loving” than men are.
Even God’s love is conditional. If you treat others like crap, God sends you to hell—worldwide consensus, no religion disputes that. Even faiths that preach “forgiveness for all” still have the condition of repentance. So who do these guys think they are, arrogantly claiming to do what God Himself doesn’t?
Let’s be clear: being into women’s looks is not a sin. You’re free to like whatever you like—no one can stop you, and it’s protected under the right to pursue happiness. The real problem is pretending that the thought “I want a product that’s half fleshlight, half baby-making machine” is some lofty, noble feeling on par with the love of Jesus or Mother Teresa. Even a shady used car salesman doesn’t try to pass off a Hyundai as a Rolls-Royce.
And when men call viewing women as baby-making machines “unconditional love,” it’s hilarious— because by exactly the same logic, women seeing men as ATMs is also unconditional love. Women are baby ATMs, men are money ATMs.

So why do they always try to act like their side is the only one that’s refined and pure?

the_1st_inductionist · 2025-08-11T19:12:12+00:00

I think if you go into why they lust after woman’s bodies more, it’s because men can orgasm so much more securely from sex than women.

gslzhytvrq · 2025-08-12T02:56:05+00:00

I would argue loving someone for your physical attraction to them is a lot more real than loving them for their wallet. The former is a lot more intrinsically who they are.

AsturaeConiecto · 2025-08-11T21:43:56+00:00

If women's value is more innate than men's, and men's value is more constructed than women's, then men's love for women is more unconditional than women's love for men.

Inexorable logic.

IgorXY · 2025-08-11T18:41:23+00:00

"Women loved unconditionally" is not really about romantic relationship. It is more about being valued for a simple fact that you were born a woman. Even if it comes down to, sorry for being direct, being viewed as a potential birth machine. Average men have to "improve", "grind" yada yada to earn the right to reproduce. Simple as that.

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-08-11T19:45:55+00:00

I think you have this wrong.

Men love idealistically, women love opportunistically.

SnooSongs8797 · 2025-08-12T04:45:33+00:00

There no such thing as unconditional love
You can love a women and “lust” (terribly missed used word) over as her as well also I’d go as far as to say that if you don’t “lust” after someone then you probably dont love them a whole lot

Ego73 · 2025-08-11T19:43:41+00:00

Yes, they're not the same.

It's better (or at least more scarce) to be lusted.

abaxeron · 2025-08-11T20:32:23+00:00

Men don't date women with intent of taking their bodies away. Men date women with intent of making these bodies feel good.

VersionEins · 2025-08-11T18:36:18+00:00

So what? He's not really going to find out anything about you until a date happens. Do you think men should talk to women for months before asking them out?

Title	lusting after a body =/= unconditional love
Author	117beatz
Upvotes	133
Comments	632
Date	August 11, 2025 6:30 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1mnl2al/lusting_after_a_body_unconditional_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/lusting-after-a-body-unconditional-love.1559361 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559361

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