Is the gym obsession/fad making it difficult for average men and influencing women's opinions on how the average man should look?

themostgianthorse · 2022-05-09T23:59:10+00:00

The reason you see “just lift bro” in these subs is because:

A substantial portion of these men lack self confidence to begin with.
In my opinion, there is no faster and more idiot proof way for men to build confidence than to consistently lift weights. Hopefully, and often, this translates to other areas of life.

Being in shape will not guarantee you get laid but it will help. Even if the only benefit is the belief that you can, sometimes that is all that is required.

neolib-cowboy · 2022-05-09T23:55:33+00:00

Going to the gym is not a fad, and it should be a part of every real man's weekly routine. Modern society has made us fat and lazy. Sitting on our asses every day, stuffing our faces with Cinnabons, and driving everywhere has cut our testosterone levels in half, made most of us develop some kind of mental illness, and ruined our bodies.

People need to get active. They need to go outside. They need to exercise and lift weights. Not only will it improve your physical health, but it will improve your mental health too.

Longjumping-Goat-348 · 2022-05-10T00:09:41+00:00

How can you honestly there’s a gym obsession amongst men when about 75% of the male population is overweight?

tossa445 · 2022-05-10T01:05:01+00:00

At first it sounds like you are saying the average physique is better now and unattainably so, but then you admit that most guys have never lifted a free weight in their life. Which one is it?

No women are laughing at Brad Pitt in fight club that's an absolute top tier male physique.

Lifting is good for you and makes you more attractive, so are running, swimming, cycling, gynmastics, martial arts, futbol, rock climbing etc.. Just be active, sweat every day and push yourself to be the best you can at something tangible. Do the physical activities you enjoy the most so you stick with it and enjoy the process

MelodiousTones · 2022-05-09T23:46:52+00:00

Muscles are not a “recent trend”. Have you ever seen a Greek statue? Mr. universe was won by Arnold Schwarzenegger in like 1981.

Kentucky_Supreme · 2022-05-09T23:52:37+00:00

I think it's more about social media. That's what's fueling the gym obsession. You can tell when someone posts gym selfies purely for the likes because right after the gym selfies they're smoking and drinking their ass off. Which they wouldn't be doing if they actually cared about their health. They're just trying to get likes.

Freevoulous · 2022-05-10T00:55:24+00:00

Most people who lift do it for basic fitness, not to be sub-10% BF models. 95% of gym-goers are guys with >15% BF and no 6-pack, probably the average guys you see in public and assume don't lift.

Why do it, if not in the hopes of looking like Jeff Seid?

Exercise is good for your physical and mental health. Strength training has benefits you can't get from cardio alone. Sedentary office workers need exercise, not for job performance, but to not have a heart attack at 40.

WeirdNervousOmega · 2022-05-10T00:04:28+00:00

Btw guys the dude on the picture is on roids

Fit-Faithlessness149 · 2022-05-10T01:29:05+00:00

Gym is life. If I were forced to live without the gym or a woman for the rest of my life I would say goodbye to the woman.

rosephase · 2022-05-09T23:53:20+00:00

The two guys you linked look like roided out. I do not think your average woman is looking for a dude shaped like that. I know, personal, it would freak me out.

The average ~person~ should get exercise. Whatever exercise that works for them is great. Lifting is a fine exercise. It helps with mental and physical health. Lifting may not turn you into a fitness model, put it will probably have postive effects on your world if it's something you like to do and can keep doing. And it help humans regulate their emotions and have more postive ones. Which is a nice thing.

briiiana1122 · 2022-05-10T00:33:12+00:00

I don’t think so. Men who look like this have been around for a long time and they’ve always been outliers in society because of how much needs to go into it. I started lifting during the time period you mention and there was absolutely bro cutlture, gym culture, PEDs in the locker rooms. It’s not new. I’m a gym rat, though im a competitive weightlifter not a bodybuilder. The average gym goer in my weightlifting / powerlifting gym doesn’t look like these guys or want to. Some of the women there are Instagram model type looking. They put in a fuck ton of work to look like that, also.

But I think if you ask the average non gym rat they probably don’t like this look anyway, find it too bulky not cuddly whatever else. The reality is mostly gym people are impressed by the way gym people look.

Anyway, everyone will look better if they lift weights. But expectations in check, just lifting is not going to make you into an Instagram model.

zatannas_magicwand · 2022-05-10T00:53:02+00:00

Yes, the average man should lift weights, because poor physical health is fast becoming the norm in America. Weight training alone will not fix everything, but it can be an incredibly potent tool to help sustain a healthy lifestyle well into old age. And that’s without even diving into all of the mental benefits it can have.

krischens · 2022-05-10T08:09:48+00:00

Should the average man lift weights? Well, I don't know. I guess it helps you in some facets of life. Office workers? Probably not but tradesmen more than likely.

Office workers should be the first ones in line to go to the gym due to the sedentary lifestyle.

The average man absolutely can not look like Jeff Seid or Noel Deyzel

Yeah no shit, those are the 0.001% men with more drugs inside their bodies than your local pharmacy. At least Noel is transparent about using gear.

And maintaining a sub 10% body fat so you look consistently ripped is fucking DIFFICULT.

Single digits body fat is usually sustained only for short periods of time for competitions/photo shoots. 15% is more than enough to look lean and fit and is realistically attainable for most men.

Do you think the absolute obsession we have these days with lifting pieces of metal is affecting the mental health of men?

There is no obsession at all, maybe I have 1 or 2 friends (exempting those who I met in gym) that are hitting the gym more or less regularly, the rest don't do shit. More people should work out...

And it's funny, you can visit your local city in Summer and see hundreds of men holding women's hands or having their arms around their waists. And a good 90% of them will be AVERAGE men who have never picked up a free weight in their lives.

Don't lift for others, lift for your own well-being.

Snowbattt · 2022-05-10T08:46:10+00:00

Going to the gym is not just to "get muscle and be swole", it's about feeling good in your own skin. Men want to be strong. It's our nature. Little boys at school measure themselves to each other with strength. Lifting weights will make you feel better in your own skin and raise your confidence. That's the end goal.

OldSimpsonsisbetter · 2022-05-10T14:20:54+00:00

Just lifting weights is not enough anymore. Take this from someone who lifts weights. It has done zero to help my success with women. Women don't even notice or care. This is not through my lack of effort - I lift heavy, have a good training program, I eat well, I get enough sleep.

You need more than weights. Strong genetics is absolutely crucial. Most male fitness influencers on social media are taking steroids. Any guy you see in the gym with a really great body, either is taking steroids or has top tier genetics. Women also don't just want a good body, they want other things on top of that - charismatic, popular, big following on social media, earns a lot.

It's not enough to just lift in the gym for 2-3 years with a decent diet as a natural non-drugged lifter and then women are attracted to you. If that was the case, I'd be getting laid all the time, but I'm not.

Also as more men are advised to lift, standards for women naturally go up. Red Pill men are self-sabotaging and making it more difficult for themselves by advising other men to lift.

Kaleidoscopiquant · 2022-05-10T00:00:09+00:00

No. Gym culture and roidbro aesthetics is men competing with men. Similar to women with fancy makeup and high fashion. None of my female friends are interested in that look.

HTML_Novice · 2022-05-10T00:11:50+00:00

I lifted to become “hot”. I’m now extremely jacked and have great genetics so I have low body fat. I’ve surpassed DYEL mode and shot into the moon.

No girl gives a shit :( except gym bunnies, but even they’re not attracted like men are, they just like it cause our “lifestyles are compatible” or some shit

I wish I rolled high on genetics for height instead of muscle and dick size… but what can you do

morbidnihilism · 2022-05-10T00:24:05+00:00

Responding to your question in the title: nope. It's social media, dating apps and simps.

Wokebro369 · 2022-05-10T01:12:43+00:00

There is no absolute obsession with lifting… just because gym culture influences how you think men are perceived by women doesn’t mean that it’s an absolute, as proven by your anecdotes of average men coupled with women.

For many man however, it’s emphasized because masculine culture is deemed toxic anywhere else. Where else can you flex and act like a dude around dudes and not get flack for it from left wing liberals?

youhavetheanswer · 2022-05-10T08:16:14+00:00

This is city dependent. I notice in certain cities like Cardiff and Liverpool there is lots if bodybuilding, fake tans, and waxing. In a normal city like Nottingham or Leeds it's more rare

neetykeeno · 2022-05-10T08:49:47+00:00

Oh bullshit to there being hardly any men lifting weights in the 90s and 2000s. I was alive in the 90s. There were gyms and there were people who used gyms.

What we didn't have is quite so many guys....especially heterosexual guys...doing illegal performance enhancing drugs totally without a doctor's supervision. And those who did do those drugs had less variety to choose from.

Loveenglishpeople · 2022-05-10T10:02:57+00:00

I don’t think you realize how much men you cross « holding womens hands » actually go to the gym though

Doing sports, going to the gym is very beneficial for your mental and physical health. Unless you go more than 4-5 times a week and stay for more than 1 hour, its perfectly healthy and normal.

trilobright · 2022-05-10T11:24:08+00:00

The vast majority of women aren't into guys who look like Ronnie Coleman or Arnold, and most definitely are swooning over powerlifter/strongman physiques. And in places like /fit/ and bodybuildingforums it's commonly and unironically claimed that only an effeminate gay man would start hitting the gym for the purpose of impressing chicks, they do it because they want to get strong and/or impress other guys who are into weight training. In my experience, young women are still likely to prefer the 90s Brad Pitt type look (i.e. slender waist, chiselled abs, impressively muscled arms, shoulders, back and chest), whereas once they hit their late 20s they become more open to settling for "dad bod".

Abangranga · 2022-05-10T16:52:28+00:00

If you're so mad they like buff dudes more than a guy with the physique of a hairy sack of potatoes then it is entirely fixable by actually bothering to exercise and not eating like a dumb shit. There are these vegetable things you can eat. You could try actually counting your calories and take in less than you need over a period of time.

Also your "view" of 90s material is only what remains popular today that you can scavenge from youtube, not what an average of the time was. Baywatch existed. The hairy sack of potatoes body has never been liked in popular media over time.

I'd argue even the "gay bear" stereotype was hijacked from powerlifter types by sit on the couch fatasses.

DorianneGrey · 2022-05-09T23:47:00+00:00

That is an obsession for men, by men. Outside of the preferences of similarly ripped gym bunnies, we generally don’t care and actually prefer a much more natural fit and healthy looking body.

The veiny bulgy thing is a guy thing.

DreamsOfWishes · 2022-05-09T23:52:57+00:00

I think that being told to lift, to get dates is effecting the mental health of men.

Because they're expecting more results then they can get. They lift and either expects to date models because they're now the "top of men" and that's not gonna happen if you didn't have results before or they lift and expect to get women to simp over them...again no way or they lift and expect dating to become easy...shit ain't easy and is never gonna be easy.

And they're sold this dream, they work hard for it, like so fucking hard, that shit ain't easy either and then when they get to their goal it's: sorry, no price.

...that's very depressing.

CatchPhraze · 2022-05-10T00:07:31+00:00

Woman don't like hyperjacked men anyways. The uber muscle head look is a product of power fantasy media for men by men.

Woman are still fawning over the sleder but strong men. Let's break down the avengers for instance.

Loki is far more popular as a sex idol then Thor, and even Dr.strange is more popular then captain America.

Woman are story-sexual. Interesting and unique peaks their intrest far more then the traditional. It's why every shitty romance novel makes their male lead "different" in ironically the same ways.

Putting on half the bulk you think you need, putting on some rings and nice nails and a fashionable haircut with the right amount of stubble will pull wayyy harder for you than those extra 25 hours in the gym chasing that not natty look.

Lovers691 · 2022-05-10T00:31:28+00:00

Lol, no woman wants a Jeff Seid or Noel Deyzel, even some one like Chris Hemsworth when he was natty or at least looked natty is pushing it for most women. Woman want from Brad Pitt in Troy to someone like this guy(bald omniman) amount of muscle at from 10 to 19 bodyfat with 12-15% being ideal for being big in clothes and lean enough that it looks good. I also think all healthy men should lift weights for health and baseline athleticism, like in 6-18 months you should strive for a 135lb overhead press, 225lb paused bench, 315lb squat and 315 to 405lb deadlift at 12 to 15 bodyfat in order to maintain health.

Lateralanouncer · 2022-05-10T00:21:14+00:00

Bodey building is also the equivalent of make up for men.

It's not a fad, gym give better results than university or being a BB.

WeirdNervousOmega · 2022-05-10T01:22:14+00:00

You’ll never date an above average looking woman unless you are ripped or paying for it.

That is reality.

Every hotty I know is with some variety of athlete/meat head.

So no, I don’t think it is.

Look at the covers of romance novels.

Even fat housewives feel entitled to the attentions of ripped, tall hunks with attitude. They can’t get it so they read about it instead.

Bandit174 · 2022-05-10T00:52:06+00:00

I think face and height matters more than muscles.

Being super jacked like Jeff Seid won't net you mass appeal but it is beneficial to fit a niche. Like even if it isn't most women, the % of women that do prefer a body builder physique is greater than % of men that have a body builders physique so demand > supply.

LotBuilder · 2022-05-10T00:52:59+00:00

Different women like different body types, I don’t feel like an uptick in steroid use is going to change girls preferences. I’m 65 240 at about 18% body fat so muscular but not ripped. Some girls are attracted by a big gorilla and some girls have zero interest and it has nothing to do with her looks. My advice to guys is to take whatever you are an embrace it and do your best to enhance it. There are skinny skater boys and musicians that do extremely well with women and there are meat heads that couldn’t get laid in a whorehouse with a fist full of hundreds. I think being physically fit is important to being attractive but being ultra ripped only appeals to a small subset of women and few of those women are hot in my eyes.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-05-10T01:17:29+00:00

Well guys who think of going to the gym as a fad are going to be pretty average anyways lol, and I think hopefully most women understand that the average guy is not going to look like the person in the thumbnail, that's what sets him apart from the average guy and they know it especially as much as a lot of women like to complain about "unrealistic boooody standards".

Just to be clear if you are fat it is your own fault, that being said not every guy has to get super shredded, I certainly am not I've always preferred to maintain my skinny frame but that was because I was a track and field athlete in college can I still run to this day but everybody should strive to be in shape

sernamedeleted · 2022-05-10T01:31:17+00:00

Just do an hour before bed most days. Stretching, Cardio, Lifting, whatever. If someone is too lazy to do an hour of exercise almost every day, then they can't really be helped anyway.

MicrospathodonChrys · 2022-05-10T01:32:14+00:00

If we are talking about whether more men should specifically try to become competitive bodybuilders, probably not, unless it’s already their goal/interest/passion. Cutting down to single digit bf% takes a huge physical and mental toll and lots of women aren’t into that ultra-jacked look anyway.

Now if we are talking about whether men should lift weights or otherwise strength train…YES. But everyone should be strength training. Women, men, teens, grandparents, everyone should be doing some form of strength training to optimize health. For most men and women in young adulthood, this will look like lifting weights that feel heavy and progressively overloading, consistently (but not obsessively) for years. Building muscle is the magic pill to boost metabolism. And to keep from falling and breaking a hip as you age.

KingHalfrican702 · 2022-05-10T01:45:39+00:00

I think so it’s altered the perception of a lot of young people I work in a club in vegas and I constantly workout it’s heavily implied that we have too. I think people and especially young people post so much about it and the fake natty culture surrounding influencers really has taken a psychological toll

MassageGymnist · 2022-05-10T02:50:47+00:00

Hit the gym bro

Kitchen_Apartment · 2022-05-10T03:14:35+00:00

I’m sure it is affecting mental health, but most women are steadfast in claiming they don’t prefer the ultra ripped guys. Many women prefer an approachable but masculine one. That’s why the dad bod was in. Overweight isn’t most people’s preferences, most women I know prefer muscular with a little extra. Maybe 15% body fat for men?

Keezymac34 · 2022-05-10T03:31:45+00:00

Women notice. I got way more attetion from women when i started lifting its just that you dont need it to get women its just another attractive quality for you. Its like women dont need a big butt to get a guy but men do notice when they have one and it does make them more attarctive to people who like that. I belive compounding qualities that make me attractive so i have more options. Also you attarcte what you are. I like girls in shape so the best way to get a girl in shape is to be in shape too.

ogsimpology · 2022-05-10T05:03:32+00:00

Not an issue, women don't want average anyway. If there were just slobs like me in public, the rate of bisexual, or straight up lesbian women would skyrocket.

These few men keep women wanting men, sexually...

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-05-10T05:52:02+00:00

No.

The two people you linked are not highest attractiveness male body. They're too built for the average womans desires.

Someone with a body like Colby Covington or Charles Olivera is much much more attractive. And that's attainable with diet and exercise and no special Mexican supplements.

That said it ain't easy. It takes 7 days a week at the gym plus a decent diet.

Also lifting helps your face look better too

sym4221 · 2022-05-10T05:58:34+00:00

If I remember correctly most girls were fawning over Brad Pit in Fight Club but these days I can imagine his build being laughed at for being skinny.

Brad Pitt has one of the most attractive faces of all time, so when people fawned over him it was a combination of face and body. He was in great shape, yet he was skinny and at 5'11 at 70kg if he was clothed most people wouldn't be able to tell that he had an impressive body.

Just lift bro" advice to the point it's just a meme at this point. No different than "just take a shower".

I think where the two differ is that lifting has a positive effect attraction and showering has a neutral effect. I.e if u r unattractive and lift there is a chance u can become 1-2 points more attractive. Whereas if u shower the effects will be so minimal that it won't change ur prospects

And a good 90% of them will be AVERAGE men who have never picked up a free weight in their lives.

You can get success without Lifting but it is easier with it

Do you guys see men who look like Zyzz on a regular basis? And maintaining a sub 10% body fat so you look consistently ripped is fucking DIFFICULT.

These examples are of professional bodybuilders. You can get the rewards of lifting without looking like one.

EviessVeralan · 2022-05-10T06:00:48+00:00

Everyone (both men and women) who is physically able should incorporate working out into their everyday lives.

humdf · 2022-05-10T07:07:47+00:00

To get a adorable body you need a routine.

not even a gym membership

every american should know at least one thing how a great body is build

shut up. do not put unneccessary things in your mouth.

you can't outrun a bad diet.

terrn1981 · 2022-05-10T07:19:49+00:00

I know women who are more attracted to "dad bods".. Think it's often other men who push the narrative of "chick's want the big/buff roided out Chad. I personally find average guys more appealling...maybe bc a lot of the "big guys" seem more vain and narcissistic than actually caring about their health.

2022-05-10T07:44:20+00:00

i think just being low bodyfat and looksmaxxingg i enough

mistresswhat · 2022-05-10T08:00:49+00:00

Brad Pitt looked hot as shit in Fight Club and the examples you posted are guys I find "too much" even as someone with a strong preference for very fit men.

I've dated a bunch of them, a handful longterm enough that I had a pretty good idea of what they were doing to maintain that. It certainly wasn't nothing but it wasn't anywhere near "Marvel action hero" levels. They worked out regularly and ate pretty healthy most of the time. And they all got a ton of attention for it. Obviously genetics/physical jobs/etc plays a role here too but it's weird to act like a man can't have abs without steroids and no life outside the gym.

asshole67throw · 2022-05-10T08:02:57+00:00

I think it depends. My is gym is open between 6-10 and I work between 10-6 with a two hour commute each way.

So forgot the morning session. I can only get down there after 8pm. Realistically I’m too fucking tired when I get down there. And as I take caffeine it means I’ll be awake until 2am and it means I’m fucked for my next day at work.

I recently had some time off and thought oh I’ll go to the gym. Was getting down there a few days in a row at various times between 11am to 4pm.

All the fucking jacked dudes were down there and all I could think was “fuck you guys must have no life or job”.

I’ve done it in the past and got jacked but I was on much shorter working hours closer to home and eating 5-6 meals a day.

kartu3 · 2022-05-10T09:35:26+00:00

Think of a gym for men like gym/diet/cosmetics for women.

I don't get all the whining about it. If you do it right, it is GOOD for your health.

And looks to.

And it does not need to turn into more bang-bangs for better looks to be enjoyable, you know.

A married person talking.

Freevoulous · 2022-05-10T10:07:52+00:00

>. If I remember correctly most girls were fawning over Brad Pit in FightClub but these days I can imagine his build being laughed at for beingskinny.

Funny you mention that because current studies conclude that 73% of women consider that look SPECIFICALLY to be the absolute hottest bod man can have, both in theoretical questionaires and when shown a headless photo from that movie.

Tyler Durden reigns supreme in female sexual imaginations, even among women who are not old enough to have seen that movie.

Il_Nonno_ · 2022-05-10T11:10:15+00:00

My two cents: I work a 9-5 office job and I have to go to the gym, otherwise I will gain 3-4 kgs every year and pave my way towards an early heart condition. Plus, my mental health is quite better when I feel good about my body.

wtknight · 2022-05-10T12:21:30+00:00

I think more women would prefer a “fit” guy with a decent haircut and wardrobe than one with a muscular body who didn’t bother with having good hair and good clothes.

meshsesh · 2022-05-10T12:28:54+00:00

If a normal BMI slim healthy guy need to lift weights, progressive overload, eat 1g/lbs high protein diet to be confident with women. Something is wrong with him in the head to start with.

ApatheticHeretic_101 · 2022-05-10T12:37:19+00:00

Dude, do as you like. There are no rules. Getting shredded for women is a joke. These fake gym rats are only in it for likes. If you've noticed, they don't last long. They get busted for lying, cheating, doping, filters, etc.

It is a LIFESTYLE for very few. If it's not for you, then don't worry about it. It's your body and you have to live with it.

Deidara-katsu · 2022-05-10T13:01:02+00:00

This seems like a body positivity thread which is good, I’m in the nutrition health field more customers, less competition for girls and darwin

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-05-10T13:28:12+00:00

The average man absolutely can lift weights and reach 100kg bench with dedication. The average man absolutely can not look like Jeff Seid or Noel Deyzel without quitting their jobs and dedicating their lives to weightlifting, eating and resting (and some other illegal substances)

Why would an average man want to look like those buldgy veined guys?

Should the average man lift weights? Well, I don't know. I guess it helps you in some facets of life. Office workers? Probably not but tradesmen more than likely. If it makes you feel good then that is important too.

Office workers should do more excercises, including weight lifting as the muscles might atrophy if you sit all day and that can lead to other problems like back pain.

Tradesmen need to go to the gym less as they are already getting pysical excercises from manual labor. Though they should learn the proper forms to do their day-to-day lifting with a lesser chance of injury.

Do you think the absolute obsession we have these days with lifting pieces of metal is affecting the mental health of men?

Obsessions are generally not good for mental health.
I think the obsession to get ripped is perpetuated mainly by media. As they constantly show ripped men. And as we live more and more on the internet, we tend to mostly see those ripped men and then we start to think tat all men look like that. And then IRL men are compared to the men shown in media. How one comedian said "if you have doubts about your body, go to a public sauna and see the IRL men there. How god created them and Mcdonalds formed them. and you might realise that you don't lok that bad". So basically people should spend more time IRL and not glued to a screen.

SunnySideAttitude · 2022-05-10T13:54:06+00:00

Is a 2% or whatever body fat healthy?

Isolation_Man · 2022-05-10T14:16:16+00:00

If you are tall and attractive, you don't need to lift in order to have sex. If you're short and ugly, there's no point, because you're not getting taller and your bone structure is not gonna change, so you're getting no sex anyway.

So, unless you're average, lifting is useless. Even then, as a ripped average dude, you're only competing with other average dudes, not with tall and attractive males. They already won effortlessly.

AdChemical190 · 2022-05-10T14:28:53+00:00

At least guys can DO something to grow their muscles and enhance their appearance. With women it’s a competition of who has the biggest boobs. Unfortunately I can’t do anything about it.

thetruthishere_ · 2022-05-10T14:31:15+00:00

People were working out and lifting back then it just wasnt so out there as social media was just starting to grow then, now its all over. Guys were way more fit back in my youth.

The gyms were packed full in my area. We even had an all women gym back then that was packed.

We didnt have an obesity issue like today back in the 90's/2000's...

basedconfidentsbro · 2022-05-10T14:56:54+00:00

some muscle is okay but being too ripped just puts you in a niche market some women will reject you for being big some will love that you are being big (if you have good height of course)

Complex-Glass-8539 · 2022-05-10T16:48:39+00:00

As we’ve become more sedentary in our work, we need to be more active in our free time.

You have the office worker vs blue collar turned around. We are humans, we have a need to maintain our body’s to be healthy, and lifting weights for a man especially is a great way to do that. It balances out hormone levels out considerably better than cardio alone. We need muscle and blood flow and hormones to have both a healthy mind and body. Lifting also gives us victories, small achievable goals that increase confidence.

Man, it may not be for you, but few lifters are doing it to fuck, they may have started for that, but they are doing it because of how it makes them feel, about the world and themselves. That’s why people tell people who are upset with the status in life to hit the gym. It’s the answer to a lot of problems because the thing it improves most is outlook.

mcove97 · 2022-05-10T00:33:49+00:00

Sure isn't influencing me. I'm a huge coach potato of a woman who likes to chill and watch Netflix. No I'm not fat, I'm skinny cause I know how calories work and know how to limit my food intake in accordance with my low activity level. Anyway, a heavy gymgoer is most definitely incompatible with me as the chances they wanna Netflix and chill with me instead of going to the gym is slim. I just wanna be with someone on my own level and I don't get why average women like myself would obsess over or care for overly fit men. Sure they look nice.. (if you ignore the bulging veins.. yuck don't need to see any internal organs please) but they'll be spending their time at the gym without you and not doing some leisurely activity that you yourself prefer to do together. So yeah.. personally I prefer someone at my own level. Not that being into fitness and health isn't cool, it's just.. I don't particularly care that much for it myself, and those who do fitness just for attention and not health is just a plain turn off as it means their values are vain, shallow and superficial, which yeah no bueno. I get those women who wanna date fit men if they themselves are fit women into fitness, but for the rest? Like do you realize how different your diet, lifestyle and general compatibility is?

sarkington · 2022-05-09T23:48:12+00:00

There’s no obsession. There’s just lots of unmotivated and unfortunate people, and fewer excuses

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2022-05-10T02:57:23+00:00

The thin guy + very attractive / model tier face will pull way more than the “ripped” guy with an average face.

Think, prime Leo or Depp vs “The Situation”

The Situation is gonna desperately pull up his shirt to show his abs while the girls go home to fuck Leo.

The fact that “Jon Snow” would undoubtably be able to pull just as many women as Momoa should tell you how important muscles are.

RedPill115 · 2022-05-10T03:26:41+00:00

This is the same thing over and over, this really seems to be the big lie of the manosphere.

The really attractive women I meet, wherever, are almost never dating big huge overly buff guys.

And when I see guys like that with girls, they're always with less-attractive girls.

heartheartdoki96 · 2022-05-09T23:46:19+00:00

No, there is no pressure on the average man to have a 6 pack and look ripped. If you ask most women, they'd say Seth Rogen or Adam Sandler or one of their many friends is super hot and none of them are ripped.

Aviadcool111 · 2022-05-10T00:24:29+00:00

Maybe I think the men who get too into the gym culture already have things that are affecting their mental health such as low self-confidence, negative feedback, and other issues mostly related to body issues. That being said the obesity epidemic is out of hand and if gym culture can help counter that I support it. Also, sub 10% is difficult but say 12%-15% is reasonable for most responsible adult men, heck I am plenty lazy with not tracking all my calories and such but I have gotten down to 19% with not that much difficulty and I just have 4% more to go to 15% which I will stay at for a bit than go down to 12% to get abs hopefully.

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Yummylicky23 · 2022-05-10T00:07:31+00:00

Is there an increase in super buff men nowadays compared to the past?

Smitten_Squire · 2022-05-10T15:18:25+00:00

Women see roid heads as "natural".

Grimmrhow · 2022-05-10T15:25:26+00:00

focus on things that add to yourself, learn a skill or a craft. While doing so the quality women that you want will come.

lilickybitch · 2022-05-10T15:29:58+00:00

I mean ofc it affected men mentally, but honestly that’s something you all have to work out. It’s obvious most women will go for a physically attractive guy over someone BUFF, because it really is all about looks. If chad is ugly and buff, we all know the skinny pretty skater gets the girl (literally based on her preference). So I don’t really think the “just lift bro” comes from women. I think men put a lot of pressure on other men to try and fix what that individual thinks they lack. So if you thought you were attractive 9/10 going to the gym would be for you, you just wanna be buff and attractive ig. But some physically attractive men just dont hit the gym (ofc keeping body still in shape) and they do this because they know they dont have to. If you thought you were unattractive enough to fix face, but attractive enough to get women with your new and improved body type after hitting the gym, then you would do it. If a man thought he was lacking in penis size, he would not simply exercise to fix THAT SPECIFIC issue. He would most likely exercise to make up for that issue. And then ofc use whatever other ideas and treatments to fix the other one. My point is, Men do this to other men. Reality is, if you wanted to work out just to work out, you would. If you didn’t want to, other men would literally be the ones to compare you and point out your “flaws” (women do this too, but again, if you’re attractive, body is literally not top of the list to them.)

roguish_rogue · 2022-05-10T16:01:55+00:00

You dont need 10% bf, romantically whats most useful is the appearance of physical strength and physical confidence not being shredded.

"Hit the gym" will never not be good advice, so yes its like "take a shower" I guess, because not doing so is basically self sabotage, guys who are not actually doing it need to stop whining.

Its also essential for maintaining physical and mental health today especially for guys who are NOT doing physical work, much less important for a construction worker.

KennyOmegle · 2022-05-10T16:17:00+00:00

easy success steps:

cut your hair
wear a suit
go to gym every day and hit maxes
be a lawyer

idk why this is so hard or even frowned upon

HazyMemory7 · 2022-05-10T16:43:59+00:00

Yes, but people aren't going to stop lifting lol. And exercise is beneficial for everyone regardless of age and gender, more women than ever these days are lifting. So anyone upset about this should get with the program and join in. You don't have to be 195 lbs jacked at sub 10% body fat to have a nice physique.

Flat_Development6659 · 2022-05-10T17:34:28+00:00

Brad Pit in Fight Club but these days I can imagine his build being laughed at for being skinny

Although I'd personally say Brad Pitt's physique in fight club was a bit on the skinny side he's still better looking than 99%+ of people and I very much doubt many women wouldn't want to date him because of his "skinniness".

The average man absolutely can lift weights and reach 100kg bench with dedication. The average man absolutely can not look like Jeff Seid or Noel Deyzel without quitting their jobs and dedicating their lives to weightlifting, eating and resting (and some other illegal substances).

What's your point? Nobody thinks that the average man should look like Jeff Seid or Noel Deyzel and in almost any activity in life there's going to outliers who perform at a level most of us can't achieve. Saying you shouldn't workout because you'll never look like either of those guys is like saying you should never run because you'll never be as fast as Bolt.

Should the average man lift weights? Well, I don't know. I guess it helps you in some facets of life. Office workers? Probably not but tradesmen more than likely.

I'd argue that it's more beneficial for office workers than it is for tradesmen. One of the major benefits of weightlifting is that you're more likely to keep your mobility into old age. If you live a sedentary lifestyle doing some sort of resistance training is just as important as doing cardio.

Sometimes I feel like I'm taking crazy pills when it comes to Reddit and the internet in general. Everywhere you go you see the same old "Just lift bro" advice to the point it's just a meme at this point. No different than "just take a shower".

Because both of these things are incredibly simple ways to improve your desirability and to generally fit into modern day society.

And it's funny, you can visit your local city in Summer and see hundreds of men holding women's hands or having their arms around their waists. And a good 90% of them will be AVERAGE men who have never picked up a free weight in their lives. Do you guys see men who look like Zyzz on a regular basis?

Since we're aware that the vast majority of the planet ends up in some sort of romantic and sexual relationship at some point in their life it seems rather obvious that you will more commonly see average people in a relationship. That doesn't mean that improving yourself makes you more desirable though.

And maintaining a sub 10% body fat so you look consistently ripped is fucking DIFFICULT. Especially for anyone managing a 45+ hour work week and other responsibilities.

Like earlier when you mentioned Jeff and Noel you seem to be setting an extreme target and using that as an excuse not to try at all. Who the hell sits at single digit body fat percentage year round? Not many, even among professional strength athletes, bodybuilders and models. You don't need to be single digit body fat percentage to be attractive or healthy.

Do you think the absolute obsession we have these days with lifting pieces of metal is affecting the mental health of men?

I think that if other peoples personal achievements highlights your own mediocrity to the extent where your mental health suffers then that is a you problem.

oliviaj20 · 2022-05-10T17:50:05+00:00

hate that being healthy is a fad here.

SmakeTalk · 2022-05-10T17:53:26+00:00

As someone who rarely works out (I box maybe once a week but haven't in months) and actively avoided it for years I've never had an issue finding women interested in me.

If you're particularly interested in only the fittest and most objectively attractive women by society's standards you'll probably need to be in better shape, but for the average guy looking for the average girl this isn't the case. Men who tell you it is probably need to because their personality is shit.

RealNiceLady · 2022-05-10T17:54:08+00:00

Is the gym obsession/fad making it difficult for average men and influencing women's opinions on how the average man should look?

No

Do you think the absolute obsession we have these days with lifting pieces of metal is affecting the mental health of men?

No

AbbreviationsHot1200 · 2022-05-10T18:33:59+00:00

Lifting weights is the fountain of youth for a man.

If you're not lifting weights, your body thinks you are no longer of any use to the tribe, and it goes to shit.

basedmama21 · 2022-05-10T21:37:12+00:00

No. My husband is fit but he doesn’t look like this and I’m happy about that. I dated a man who looked like this. It was MISERY. Men who look like this truly need to date women who look like this so they can eat the same foods and workout together.

I’m athletic but I’m not this intense about it. And neither is hubby. We enjoy beer and pizza after we train. Folks like this don’t usually indulge when they’re “in season.” This aesthetic is tied to behavior and lifestyle choices. I don’t find it attractive personally.

daddysgotanew · 2022-05-10T23:21:46+00:00

Lifting is not going to do anything for you if you don’t have the face to back it up. David Laid would get “laid” relentlessly and have women chasing him if he weighed 140 pounds. It’s because he has a Chad face, the bodybuilding is just icing on the cake for him.

dottywine · 2022-05-11T22:22:21+00:00

If it helps you feel better, women are not looking for men who look like Noel or Jeff...

Jason Mamoa is certified hollywood hunk and I think we all agree he is natty. He is actually way way above what a woman is expecting to get with or looking for. But he is always around 15% body fat ON SEASON. Off season, he adds more body fat and he is still considered a heart throb. Too little body fat isn't actually attractive to women.

You should investigate what women actually like and stop putting value in what other men are telling you you should like.

cocomoe · 2022-05-12T02:08:23+00:00

It’s helpful for confidence and discipline etc, but the gym obsession and musclerexia becomes unhealthy when guys spend all their time there and think that’s all they need to do to attract girls - improve their body.

It’s unhealthy because it is untrue. Never allow yourself to lose sight of the fact that womens sexual desire is based on much more than physical attraction. So much more that you’re a fool to ignore it.

Unless you’re unbelievably physically attractive, it’s unlikely that mere physical attraction will be enough. So your emotional / social / psychological / friendship / communication development is non negotiable.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-05-12T17:10:19+00:00

It's another solitary activity solitary men can do. It's less effort than building out a social network.

meltedjuice · 2022-05-14T15:43:48+00:00

Lol stop. Most women aren't even attracted to guys who are bodybuilder-level jacked.

If you want a woman who spends a lot of time in the gym on her physique, she might want a man who does too. If you want a woman who's height and weight proportionate and attentive to her grooming, those are not difficult standards to match by any means if it's something that matters enough to you.

Gracie_777 · 2022-05-29T19:12:42+00:00

I don't find either of those muscle bound men attractive in the least.

Sekina7 · 2022-05-10T00:47:03+00:00

LOL, welcome yo women's life for CENTURIES. This is why men felt the had to rig the game and restrain women's free choice, financial independence and body autonomy. More women are overweight than in shape, PLUS are much more in demand than men YET most men on PPD who ironically spend all their time telling women to "lower their standards" but who would hate to settle with a "overweight" AKA average woman-who are actually the true average women . Women have looks standards and it may or may not be based in reality but more likely what mainstream media promotes as the ideal ...sound familiar?

TryLambda · 2022-05-10T00:37:20+00:00

Too much exercise is not normal and healthy, doctors have warned us in this, that’s why you see many body builders die early… plus steroids are bad

jawnzoo · 2022-05-10T00:46:42+00:00

everyone should exercise

most girls like the "dad bod" tbh

don't base your ideologies off social media lol

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