Women: If you asked out a guy and he was nice but said “sorry, you’re just a little too fat for me” how would you respond?

attendquoi · 2022-08-19T03:31:09+00:00

This happened to me when I was 13-14. I was only about 100lbs but I've always had a stomach pooch. It was upsetting, but it would have been anyway.

houstongradengineer · 2022-08-19T03:19:23+00:00

I can tell you I WOULD NOT tell a man he's too short for me, because I'm not a bitch. And I learned a long time ago when I was maybe 15 not to ask out or flirt with people who would act like bitches.

henryXsami99 · 2022-08-19T07:00:14+00:00

Just say you are not my type, no need to remind them

ashleyrose56 · 2022-08-19T11:04:22+00:00

I am not fat. I would think the guy is just trying to be hurtful for whatever reason. I've never rejected a guy by telling him he's too short or ugly because I appreciate the confidence it takes to cold apprach women. I just go with "I have a boyfriend".

The reason why women are sometimes intentionally hurtful is because a lot of men feel entitled and keep insisting after you tell them you are not interested, so you have to make sure to ruin his self-esteem momentarily so that he goes away.

But that's not the usual case. What I see is men being insistent after a woman is subtly rejecting them and women being way too nice to avoid confrontation.

icebluefrost · 2022-08-19T03:29:41+00:00

I mean, that’s not a nice thing to say, regardless of gender. Either person (the man or the woman doing the rejecting) sounds shallow and rude, honestly.

You can turn down someone you’re not interested in without saying something like this.

700horses · 2022-08-19T03:45:55+00:00

Go to the gym

Not trying to be rude, just being honest.

themetahumancrusader · 2022-08-19T06:10:07+00:00

I think regardless of gender, it’s rude to give the reason you’re rejecting someone unless either they ask, or it’s because you’re already taken.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-08-19T06:50:00+00:00

Tell him, correctly, that if I lost any more weight I'd be underweight. (And I'm seen as at least the middle of healthy weight so I take male evaluations of fat with a grain of salt.) In a situation where I was fat, presumably I'd either have good reason to be or be trying to change it so it's not like he'd change that, and I'd do what I normally do after rejection and be sad but accept the loss.

smokey3801 · 2022-08-19T06:16:18+00:00

I'm Not a woman but, remember guys get turned down on random physical traits all the time; too short, too tall, wrong race, wrong colour eyes, .... wring star sign?!?!

If you're going to ask people out you need a thick skin, someone else will love your curves if you love them

funnybillypro · 2022-08-19T14:22:39+00:00

Both the man who says that and the woman who says that are assholes. There aren't double standards—if you called out the woman who said this to you publicly, she would be dragged too.

Lysa_Bell · 2022-08-19T08:15:59+00:00

Men are expected to tiptoe around women’s feelings

Ahahhahahaha. Men tiptoe around women's feelings when they reject them? You don't believe that yourself. I experienced your example. He told me he thinks I'm too fat after he used me for some sexual stuff.

If you think men aren't brutally honest you are living in a fantasy land. They don't give a shit if they hurt your feelings.

Bekiala · 2022-08-19T03:32:02+00:00

I think I would burst out laughing as I think that is hilarious. I love when things are so bad that they are good.

2022-08-19T12:28:25+00:00

I think that a big difference is that men typically give up the reason for rejection without being asked for it and women typically give out the reason for rejection after being badgered for it (and half the time it's a fucking lie) or to make the guy leave.

Oli_love90 · 2022-08-19T14:27:56+00:00

I cannot picture any of this happening.

2022-08-19T18:08:43+00:00

Laugh because I'm like 100lbs with a flat stomach. Just say you hate my nose or brunettes or small chests or whatever.

Even if a guy rejected me because of that, eh. You just move on; they're not the one. If someone doesn't love me and think I'm the best, I don't want them.

2022-08-19T05:51:36+00:00

I once had men follow me to my car from my job at the mall and tell me they're going to kill and rape me. I think I could handle it. Rejection is hard, and part of life is developing a healthy way of dealing with rejection. I do feel bad for men that deal with a lot of it in dating. It's not easy being rejected repeatedly.

Special_Lawyer442 · 2022-08-19T04:12:48+00:00

You've obviously never been a fat teenage girl turning down random middle aged men and horny boys, because I've heard waaaaay worse from men - and they approached me.

Miss_erable-97 · 2022-08-19T06:22:55+00:00

Sometimes I hate this group from, "double standards" b please show me where a woman has even celebrated for rejecting a guy and saying he's fat? You're a dick if you do that man or woman in my opinion, no need to put someone down just because their not your type, just say no thanks You're not my type or I don't think we'd mesh well. Most women lie about being in a relationship as a way to reject guys without hurting their feelings 💯 you could just say you're interested in someone else.

2022-08-19T07:38:00+00:00

I’d think he’s an asshole. I’m like 130 lbs at 5’6”. If I’m too fat, he probably has a fetish. Even if I was actually fat, it would still be a cruel thing to say. It’s rude and mean regardless of the genders.

Diddy_1978 · 2022-08-19T07:45:25+00:00

If they told me this, I’d know I have dodged a bullet, because the guy clearly lacks common sense. I’d defo not run to my bedroom and cry. Plus I have a sense of my own worth as a person, thanks!

pearllovespink · 2022-08-19T13:10:55+00:00

I’m responding based on your edit. Weight cannot be compared to height. Weight can CHANGE. Height cannot. People are comfortable with talking about height because it’s something that cannot be changed. Btw, I like how you conveniently left women out this conversation. Some women get turned down for being too tall.

Fiestygirl000 · 2022-08-19T04:36:08+00:00

I would not have approached him to begin with

CanYouTieThemInABow · 2022-08-19T03:33:12+00:00

I've had this happen before. It was disappointing to be sure, but it's life.

I was at a good weight at the time, but I never have a slim look no matter my weight, so it's not surprising that I'm not everyone's type.

I do think most women won't ask a guy or until they already have feelings though, where a lot of guys will approach based on looks alone without a connection, so it's not quite symmetrical. I've never been rude or cruel when turning down a guy though.

EulenWatcher · 2022-08-19T03:13:56+00:00

I'd ask him whether he's into anorexic girls, because I weigh around 90lbs. I wouldn't get upset over it, but I would be really surprised.

From the other hand, if he told me I was too thin for him, I'd be okay with it. Different strokes for different folks.

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literaryhogwartian · 2022-08-19T08:57:31+00:00

I'd wonder what sort of wooden sticks he's hanging around with that he would consider me even slightly chubby.

But I have never seen anyone critique a man or a woman when turning them down, most people tend to be polite from my experience

TheMedsPeds · 2022-08-19T10:27:29+00:00

I would respond in a slightly pissy but not over the top hysterical way saying something like: “You know, a simple no would have been perfectly sufficient. But I guess if you are the type of guy that needs to let people know they are beneath you, bulllet dodged”

aalulylil · 2022-08-19T10:52:12+00:00

My reaction would be "okay, bye" :') Like it would sting a little but in the end of the day, if that's why I'm rejected then that person isn't even worth my time. Simple as that.

Katatonicsnake · 2022-08-19T11:09:52+00:00

“No thank you” is enough. No reason to add anything, unless she asks. That’s what I wish was enough when I reject someone. I hate having to explain, but more often than not, men won’t leave me alone until I give them a reason.

I’m not religious, but I do believe in the golden rule. If you think it’s unnecessary to hear the reason why a woman is rejecting you, don’t be an ass yourself when it’s your time. Take it as a compliment it is, and move on.

thetruthishere_ · 2022-08-19T11:10:07+00:00

I would never say that to a guy. I try to be as nice as possible when rejecting.

I do not think its very common for a women to do that. Its a minority.

Ive also never been fat nor ever will be so its a non issue.

Edit, I have had comments about being too skinny from men and complete strangers when Im just a normal body weight for my height.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2022-08-19T11:13:44+00:00

Simple. I would just walk away. Clearly the feeling isn’t mutual.

It wouldn’t affect if I lost weight or not but if I did lose weight and later on they found me attractive or they just lowered their standards because they couldn’t find their dream woman I wouldn’t give them the time of day.

BCmutt · 2022-08-19T11:32:58+00:00

Why in the world would you even say that though? Please dont say this shit, its cruel.

avoiding_a_stalker · 2022-08-19T11:40:04+00:00

I’d probably think they were a jerk and be glad I dodged that bullet. No issues with being rejected but don’t be a dick about it (that goes for everyone)

carritotaquito · 2022-08-19T11:50:58+00:00

I’ve been told STRAIGHT AWAY similar reasons. Some of the greatest hits I’ve been told:

You’re too TALL!!!!!

Been rejected much more frequently for being tall than for being overweight.

I thought you were X ethnicity.

I’m ethnically ambiguous. Yes, I’ve been rejected because dudes thought they landed a lady from X exotic sounding country… just to find out I’m actually just a generic American (Puerto Rican specifically).

Jarxius · 2022-08-19T12:35:47+00:00

“Understandable, have a great day”

prettybunni00 · 2022-08-19T12:49:54+00:00

Can’t relate. I’d diet like crazy & use what he said to motivate me to get hotter and more out of his league. Bit useless to just cry about it.

yamb97 · 2022-08-19T13:05:43+00:00

Honestly would just say ok and move on, I have hundreds and thousands of choices that don’t think I’m fat… also I am not fat so it’d be bit funny, would prob laugh a bit as I’m guilty of doing when people say dumb things at work 🤐🤐 my boss has to mute the phone.

gofigure62 · 2022-08-19T13:24:34+00:00

I'd laugh hysterically and leave. I'm 18% bodyfat and addicted to exercise.

2022-08-19T14:58:23+00:00

The best part is that weight can be fixed; height, baldness, hairiness etc, cannot.

Shebalied · 2022-08-19T15:32:45+00:00

I feel like this is a little off. Women try to give vague reasons to reject someone as they worry about a reaction from the rejected. I never heard someone give anything like that unless they were being pushed a lot and said the I have a boyfriend and it did not work after 10 times.

Salt-Echo-7867 · 2022-08-19T19:34:36+00:00

Did a girl tell you that you are too fat?

You’ll get lost down a bad rabbit hole of trying to work out “well if it’s ok for XYZ demographic to do or say something then why can’t I?”.

Just forget about it and move on and stop being all Incel about it…

Express-Fig-5168 · 2022-08-20T00:31:24+00:00

"Okay, have a good day."

Willow-girl · 2022-08-20T03:02:56+00:00

I actually dated a guy who finally said he didn't want to commit because he was still hoping for a thinner, prettier wife, which was certainly his prerogative. I appreciated his frankness, wished him well and moved on.

2022-08-21T22:22:22+00:00

No one should be so cruel as to say that directly to anyone, and I've never seen anyone celebrated for doing so.

RinoaRita · 2022-08-19T03:44:26+00:00

That’s not true in real life. Yea there are definitely yaaaas Queen! Attitudes in certain communities that strategize in dating for the xx chromosome but in real life most women say they have a bf to guys asking them out. It’s because it’s usually the most effective and easy way to get a guy to leave you alone.

That being said online profiles are definitely subject to that. Women who post bad things about short men should be given the same treatment as guys who post derogatory things about fat women.

I know some tall guys who refuse to go out with women who say that on their profile, both out of solidarity and taking it as personality red flag for their own personal self. What else is she shallow about? Also all she has to do is not swipe or vet before she goes out with a guy. Putting that down just makes her look negative and uninteresting if that’s what’s taking up real estate on her profile.

Disasterid · 2022-08-19T04:50:34+00:00

Call me crazy but I think being nice and calling someone fat are kinda mutually exclusive.

In the same way that responding with "no worries, you're more than a little dead to me" may be a sincere feeling but not appropriate to say out loud.

plum_moon · 2022-08-19T04:43:40+00:00

People have done this to me totally unprompted. Both sides of it, actually. I'm very petite but quite busty (28FF) so in baggy clothes I can look chubby. Strangers regularly approach me to tell me I would be more desirable a little heavier and that I would look better with some meat on my bones, or that I'd like nice a bit thinner. I just ignore them.

I'm going to be honest, emotionally stable women just get used to feedback about our weight and learn to shrug it off in order to function socially

anon018274031 · 2022-08-19T05:56:43+00:00

I’d be pretty offended, like there really is no need. Fat girls know they are fat, the confirmation the rest of the world also sees you like that is really shitty. If anything it might even trigger my ED 🤷‍♀️ although I think I’d refer it to the more common reasons given for rejection- you are a slut/slag/whore etc. 👍

I’m polite to people and I’d expect it in return.

Also it’s laughable you think women reject men honestly and men somehow don’t?

Women 100% tiptoe around a man’s feelings when they reject him, quite often because of the fear of how he will react but also because we aren’t assholes. Rejection is already not a nice thing, no need to make it worse by insulting the person.

Silver-Breadfruit343 · 2022-08-19T07:31:23+00:00

"Ahh you're too much of an idiot for me"

in all honesty I would say something rude back to him
he cannot be nice , then insult you, then expect you to be happy about it...
the fact that someone says you're "a little bit too fat for me" sounds like internalised fat phobia. Anyway people don't pick and choose their features and no features are good or bad.
it's perplexing that he wouldn't simply say "I don't feel a connection" instead ... then no one is offended.
you have dodged a huge bullet

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-08-19T13:45:55+00:00

I have never in my 33 years of life on this earth ever heard a woman reject a man with an insult. It's always: "I have a boyfriend" or something non-confrontational that's aim is to not get a rebuttal. Because you don't know this man or how he takes rejection but also why would you just randomly insult a stranger?

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-08-19T04:00:19+00:00

there is no circumstance under which I would ask out a man

VenusValentine313 · 2022-08-19T04:32:19+00:00

Ngl I’d gain my confidence back by talking to someone else💀

pinktuliplover · 2022-08-19T05:01:52+00:00

Obviously I’d be offended. Who says this?

When you reject someone literally just say you aren’t interested, you have a bf/gf, you’re seeing someone, you enjoy being single, or you aren’t looking for anyone right now.

You don’t need to actually tell someone why you don’t like them unless they specifically ask you to.

sarkington · 2022-08-19T05:03:52+00:00

I’ve seen and heard worse. And I don’t respond, and women shouldn’t either

ShadyKnucks · 2022-08-19T06:25:12+00:00

I’m probably not your average woman or the average woman you interact with or imagine exists (they may exist in high numbers, i dont know, i dont have many female friends, women confuse women, too just fyi).

If a guy gave me this response, I’d be hurt but only if i felt like he was wrong. Im pretty conscious of my body and one day of junk food can take me from hot to ugly imo. I’m 5’7 and the weight i work out and eat healthy to be at is around 135-145 (i prefer 135-139). The body type i prefer isn’t most attractive. My boobs get smaller, my ass does too. But it’s my personal preference.

So, if a guy says this to me when im 10lbs over my preference, I’d ask where I’m too fat with genuine earnestness. I’d ask if he has some exercises he thinks i should do to lose weight and gain muscle in the right places. And I’m being 100% serious, but i do not think that’s healthy on my end. Id say i have an unhealthy view of how my body should look and how much i should weigh. I really do just prefer the thinner look over being curvy. By curvy i mean a size 4 skirt fits my waist but not often my ass. I dont have a thigh gap. I dont think i can get one because of my hips. I don’t wish for other women to be as self conscious or body conscious as myself. It’s hard on the psyche.

It’s hard going to the gym for 2 hrs and not eating the day before a date with my bf when i know it doesn’t matter to him if i weigh 145 or 140. It’s NOT healthy. But my mindset isn’t as much the norm as it was when i was a teenager.

Women in general will likely be super offended and they should be. If i (i mean “i” as in if i had a healthier mindset) want your opinion on my body, you should be my bf or friend. I don’t really care what a stranger thinks and do not recommend you say this to a woman you don’t know very well.

I’m also more interested in who someone is than just what they look like. Someone can be objectively not so attractive, but they can be hot as hell to me for personality/common interest reasons. I don’t like a lot of people in general or like them enough to invest in a friendship or romantic relationship. That’s just me. And i wont criticize anyone’s appearance in the manner you’re suggesting because it feels mean to me. If i want a relationship, i want the person under the skin. Appearances don’t last, but yeah I’ll always spend an excess of time on mine for my own dysfunctional reasons; i don’t really wish that on others. Men or women. Men on this sub dont seem to buy it, but some of us really do care more about the person than the picture.

FireCaesar23 · 2022-08-19T10:01:55+00:00

Surely there are better ways to word it? ''I'm sorry but I prefer someone who is fit/has a different body type''. I completely understand the lack of attraction to someone who is fat but you don't have to state the reason for rejecting them, unless they specifically ask for it. Just call it off.

Miss_erable-97 · 2022-08-19T06:26:31+00:00

You can't compare tinder hunters to the average woman asking you out, this whole post is ridiculous and reeks of insecurity. Have you ever seen the nice guy effect on tinder? Imagine we chalked all men up to that

2022-08-19T04:05:28+00:00

I would not ask a man out but if he said that I would say oh I guess we aren't going out then. I have never been rude when I got asked out. I just say no thank you. I would be glad after the fact that I did not waste an evening on an asshole.

learn2earn89 · 2022-08-19T07:08:22+00:00

Well, I’m not fat but I suppose I could lower my body fat percentage a bit. I would find it odd. Would be a massive turn off lol If some chick has told you you’re too short for her, I agree that she could be more tactful and less rude but at least she’s being honest, right? Guys in here always say they want honesty.

Character-Current-57 · 2022-08-19T04:51:04+00:00

Call him gay. Their ego can't take it.

Pinkrose571 · 2022-08-19T10:05:22+00:00

Your lost

LeiyBlithesreen · 2022-08-19T14:44:54+00:00

I haven't seen examples of such double standards and saw womxn get far more criticized. I really wish they didn't accept a person who doesn't truly accept them. If someone has to make your weight a personal issue even before you two get involved enough to care about each other's health, it's a red flag. Fatphobia is so blatant in society, being with someone like that will only heighten up insecurities.

The height example things is toxic masculinity and hetero dating standard stuff and not as much about the looks. It's not okay to bodyshame anyone.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-08-19T15:36:20+00:00

I'd probably tell him to fuck off. Then I'd tell all my friends what an ass he was just in case he gets into their space. I've always been considerate with my rejections. I hate rejecting people, actually. If he doesn't have the manners to exist in polite society he doesn't deserve to date.

Impossible-Bank-1697 · 2022-08-19T04:25:09+00:00

I will start shooting school and seek revenge on all males duh.

2022-08-19T06:11:27+00:00

I’d never approach the guy who said that again, that’s for certain.

ahaeood · 2022-08-19T06:26:40+00:00

I’d be speechless, embarrassed and not talk to the guy again. I’m not going to blame him or anything, it’s not his fault for not attracting to me. At least he’s honest. But yeah, just too embarrassed to have any sort of friendship with him after that

kokorwqac · 2022-08-19T06:42:39+00:00

i would be concerned and run away because my weight is 39.5 kg and i am too skinny for many men already. someone wanting a woman below that just has a weird fetish.

So lets just assume the guy says you’re too skinny. i think that is understandable because there are guys i consider too skinny too. I will feel embarrassed for a moment and then i don’t care anymore because there are plenty of other men. I don’t feel insecure about my body at all so i wouldn’t cry. Most of the women i consider to be extremely attractive have the same body as me. And i live in Asia where the beauty standard is being skinny anyways. Who cares about one guy when the rest of society thinks my body is ideal or close to ideal

Also, it is very rude to say you’re too fat/skinny/short/tall/ugly to date me. You just say something like "you’re not my type" if they ask for a reason and you want to be honest. I think the most appropriate response out of all though is "i am not looking for a relationship right now". This goes for women as well.

ruboyuri · 2022-08-19T06:48:49+00:00

I wouldn’t. Why argue with that? It might even be true

LaBelleSausages · 2022-08-19T07:33:38+00:00

I just don’t think anyone would actually say this, and if they did I would be hugely relieved as actually I’ve clearly dodged a curveball there. If they would say this then they are not the person I thought they were even a minute previously when I was asking them out.

neetykeeno · 2022-08-19T07:38:07+00:00

Well...the only guys I would even remotely consider asking would be already consistent parts of my social circle who have seen my slow steady weight loss... possibly for months and maybe years... since the start of the pandemic. Look back over my posts if you doubt it...social circles are the only game in town worth playing as far as I see it.

If he's telling me I am only a little too fat...well something weird there because if he wants me ten pounds slimmer that's three months away.

I would say oh hey sure no probs, and write him off as probably having some other issue and having panicked because he's someone who thinks he has to give reasons. I wouldn't ask him again and I wouldn't change anything.

sew1tseams · 2022-08-19T08:08:29+00:00

I had a guy say his type was “smaller”… and it was true, all the girls he dated were absolutely tiny with no body fat and I’m not that way so it was kinda 🤷‍♀️ moving on…

vivvienne · 2022-08-19T08:41:46+00:00

I'd probably say wow what an asshole. Any attractions would be gone, but I'd never ask out a guy like that in the first place. Gives me high school vibes where boys are learning to date for the first time and act like it's a buffet.

Stop_Maximum · 2022-08-19T09:35:43+00:00

I don’t mind at least they were honest 😋

Kronbopulus · 2022-08-19T10:04:05+00:00

It's (kind of) happened.

Several years ago I was sleeping with a guy, and that became a bit of a situationahip where we also went for dinner together, attended parties and stayed up late talking quite frequently. We were spending maybe four times a week together.

After a few months we had "the chat' and he said he couldn't have a relationship as he was finishing uni and had no idea what he wanted to do so couldn't commit. Ok, that's fine.

One day we had sex, and after we were cuddling. He kept sighing and saying "urgh, I really like you it just couldn't work'. After a while (and I kid you not) he said 'I think I want a girl with a flat stomach'. I was skinnier than I am now, probably a 30" waist.

I was in a bit of shock, and had really low self esteem. I stupidly carried on being friends with him, then I cut him off after a month.

I'm still very conscious of my stomach, and frequently starve myself before dates/nights out because I get a 'food belly".

ProfessorFelix0812 · 2022-08-19T12:06:27+00:00

She would probably walk away thinking you’re the biggest hamster she’s ever come into contact with.

BaiKingu · 2022-08-19T12:19:36+00:00

I would probably think he’s psycho because I’m extremely skinny & a fashion model so

If I had to imagine not being skinny and this happening, I would just respect it, but maybe think it’s a little crude depending on the context or how he said it. If you think someone is unattractive and it’s a relatively polite conversation you don’t need to specific why.

No-Koala5505 · 2022-08-19T12:42:19+00:00

If it would happen to me I would be upset. I might even cry. But I would appreciate his honesty and the fact that he didn’t waste my time.

altar-of-autumn · 2022-08-19T13:55:56+00:00

I’m saying it’s very very common for women to reject men and tell him directly that he’s too short for her… this happens all the time. whereas if a guy told a girl shes too overweight for him, he looks like a complete asshole.

Literally both people are assholes in this equation.

Men reject women all the time for not meeting their standards, they might not just explicitly say why.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-08-19T17:46:15+00:00

I would think he was rude and had a chip on his shoulder. It’s also rude for a woman to do the same. “I’m not interested” is all that’s needed. Unless the person keeps trying or presses for a reason. Then it’s fair game.

2022-08-19T18:32:09+00:00

I would cry

JoeRMD77 · 2022-08-19T18:54:04+00:00

I don't tiptoe around women's feelings at all. If one of these fat, ugly women try to reject me on the apps I just remind them they should be lucky I'm even reaching out. I have a date tonight by coming off exactly like that.

2022-08-19T20:15:49+00:00

I'd laugh in his face and walk away. I'm absolutely no where even close to being fat.

I only approach men I'm 90% sure are interested in me back though. I can't see myself even approaching a man I think would call me fat.

I'd never reject a man for his height, though.

TheTruthAtAllCosts · 2022-08-19T20:21:07+00:00

Respect his preferences.

2022-08-19T20:33:12+00:00

"Ok."

_revelationary · 2022-08-19T23:18:35+00:00

So…this happens all the time, too. Men mock women for their weight and turn them down calling them fat. I had a friend who experienced multiple guys tell her “you’d be cute if you weren’t fat.” I’d even argue that it’s more commonplace to hear people mocking “chubby chasers” or making jokes about women being unattractive due to their weight.

Both types of people making these comments are assholes. It’s asshole behavior.

I’m also a thin woman who met my husband before the dawn of online dating and have zero height preference, so I don’t have any direct experience with any of this. But I am a therapist who hears both sides, from men and women, FWIW.

Magnito-was-right · 2022-08-20T00:24:13+00:00

What ever happened to “sorry I’m not interested” It’s short and gets the point across firmly without being mean. I’ve never been mean to anyone who asked me out, and I’ve dated plenty of short guys.

ohdiddly · 2022-08-20T01:46:18+00:00

I would assume he’s joking because I’m super skinny and weigh 50kg

Aurora--Teagarden · 2022-08-20T02:04:21+00:00

I would be mortified and go home and crawl up in a ball.

I don't usually have men ask me out, so I don't get to reject anyone, but this is something to file in the empathy file.

2022-08-20T02:20:40+00:00

Most women arent even answering the question

iLiveInAHologram94 · 2022-08-20T02:28:29+00:00

Neither saying you’re too short or you’re too fat is NOT acceptable. Both are asshole things to say, obviously. I thought this was obvious? Anyone who thinks either thing is okay is….an asshole!

Dagenius1 · 2022-08-20T02:39:31+00:00

Men and women have different expectations in the dating world. That’s just reality

As a man you’re supposed to take rejection on the chin gracefully and not be intentionally mean if you reject a woman.

I see your point but it’s irrelevant as, like it or don’t, the rules are different.

g0juice · 2022-08-20T04:02:09+00:00

SpongeBob fire meme

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-08-20T05:11:50+00:00

I would probably just go get hotter then try again with the same type of man, but different individual. I want what I want, if I didn't have enough of something, I'd just go get it. Lol.

fishweenie · 2022-08-20T05:23:43+00:00

both are terrible ways to reject someone

-Ashera- · 2022-08-20T08:09:23+00:00

Well I’m pretty petite so that would be weird. He’s based though because I don’t like fat bitches either, mean spirited as hell for no reason. Still wouldn’t date him though, he’s probably an extremely skinny guy if he actually thinks I’m fat, and skinny dudes are just as insecure and mean spirited as fat bitches

2022-08-20T09:34:58+00:00

Um so since I've never rejected a man by telling him he was too short or tall or fat or thin for me I wouldn't understand where the double standard had been laid out, exactly.

That is the entire problem with red pill. You think all women are one big huge monolithic Woman but you're literally talking about over 4 billion humans on this planet.

Even if in my head I was thinking that a man was too obese for me, I'd never say that to someone who just asked me out. Nasty hateful things only come out of my mouth when I'm generalizing the masses or I think the person deserves it. If a man is nice and polite and respectful and asks me out, I'm not going to be mean to him or insult him. I will tell him that I like him as a friend. Or if I don't actually like him as a friend, I'll say something like I'm sure you're a nice person, or you seem like an intelligent person, but you're not my type.

There's nothing wrong with saying someone isn't your type. That could mean ANYTHING, including the way the person dresses, their personality being too loud and overbearing or too socially awkward, them being a dirty hippie or a clean shaven preppy type, they smoke and you don't....and yeah it could also be something about their physical appearance.

Some people just don't turn me on. They could be decent looking people, nothing objectively wrong with them, but they just don't do it for me. I mean wtf.

2022-08-20T13:41:30+00:00

I’m saying it’s very very common for women to reject men and tell him directly that he’s too short for her… this happens all the time. whereas if a guy told a girl shes too overweight for him, he looks like a complete asshole. Either all of it’s okay, and we should all be encouraged to be brutally honest or none of it’s okay.

Is it really that common?

Anyway, it's really not ok to be an asshole, regardless of your gender. You can always say something like "sorry, you're not my type", or "I have a boyfriend/girlfriend", or "I'm not interested in dating". People are often insecure about their looks, and there's no need to make them feel worse about it.

I also think that being a dick to others is not "brutal honesty", it's just, well, being a dick.

Unhappy-Slice-5098 · 2022-08-21T05:52:16+00:00

I'd appreciate the brutal honesty. If this happened in real life though, I would be taken aback because it would be my first time hearing someone complain about my body outside of my family, lol. If it was online or on a dating app, I would really feel bad, obviously, but not as bad compared to the former. Would I cry? Yeah... would I get mad at the guy? Maybe at the sudden delivery of a comment like that, but I'd ultimately understand where he was coming from. I'm an ugly woman so I wouldn't be surprised. I also empathize with short men in this regard, they get comments like this times 100.

TheGreatFadoodler · 2022-08-21T14:39:23+00:00

So you want people to lie about why they’re rejecting you? I’d much rather the truth even if it hurts

FancyCocktailOlive · 2022-08-21T16:48:20+00:00

I have a few ideas:

Say “I bet you think you’re so edgy for responding to me like that. Look at that smug smirk on your face.” Then I’d take a photo of him and say “I’m going to post this online and tell every single woman I know what you said to me so they’ll avoid you.”
I’d laugh and say “oh I wasn’t asking you on a date! I have a boyfriend, I just thought you might be good for my friend Sarah and wanted to talk to you about meeting her but never mind that now.”
Pull up my shirt and massage my abdominal fat. “What? You don’t like this baby? Oh yeah, you know you want it.” Then I’d go behind him, stand closeish but not touching, pelvic thrust at him, massage my fat and put on a show of having a fake mock orgasm and moan “oh yeah! You love them fatties don’t you? I’m going to call you Fatboy.” Then I’d follow you around for an hour or two doing that until you called the police.

HappilyMrs · 2022-08-22T11:15:30+00:00

I'd think he was a tactless, impolite asshole and that I had dodged a bullet. I don't like casual cruelty.

Nor would I reject someone that unkindly. "I don't feel a spark between us" or "I'm flattered but not interested that way, thanks" are perfectly fine. Don't hurt people unnecessarily.

Sophiatab · 2022-08-22T16:09:10+00:00

Having had this happen to me on way too many blind dates, the correct response is to say, "I can diet. You will always be an asshole (or a putz, if I think they understood the term)," and leave. Yeah, a lot of times, I cried after getting home, but I learned that incidents like that just have to be viewed as fate's way of weeding out some of the jerks early on.

2022-08-22T19:08:57+00:00

Happened to me recently. He didn’t say it that straight forward but said that he isn’t attracted and his type is skinny petite girls. What did I do? Well nothing, what should I do? I turn around and leave and try to forget it and rebuild my confidence.

Title	Women: If you asked out a guy and he was nice but said “sorry, you’re just a little too fat for me” how would you respond?
Author	Salt-Echo-7867
Upvotes	106
Comments	364
Date	August 19, 2022 3:09 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ws2xdc/women_if_you_asked_out_a_guy_and_he_was_nice_but/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-if-you-asked-out-a-guy-and-he-was-nice-but.1128879 https://theredarchive.com/post/1128879

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