Even women well into their 30s and 40s think they can afford to be insanely selective, often even more so than younger far more attractive girls

biscuitcatapult · 2022-10-18T17:56:11+00:00

I’m a man in my mid 30s. I’m extremely picky now, although I wasn’t in my 20s.

I can afford to be picky because I’m happy being single and I’m not desperate enough/willing to settle. My criteria for a partner filters out about 95% of the dating pool around me. Am I in the top 5% of men? Hell no. But I’d rather be single and happy than taken and unhappy.

Women can do the exact same.

Novadina · 2022-10-18T16:59:09+00:00

Anyone can afford to be as selective as they want. I know if I was single again I wouldn’t be wasting time with people I wasn’t into, I’d just stay single until someone I was compatible with came along. Why on earth would I want to lower their standards? What would the incentive be, exactly?

If men in their 40s think they can get a 20 year old, then have at it! Why bother complaining about what 40 year old women are doing if you don’t even want them anyway? That’s just 40 year old men having insane standards himself (I’m not sure how many 20 year olds want a divorced dad), if they want to have those, fine. If I was single I wouldn’t even want the men dating 20 year olds, I’d be after the men who actually wanted someone my age. The 40 year old women and the 40 year old men who only date 20 year olds probably never even cross paths while dating.

trippingfingers · 2022-10-18T16:41:14+00:00

Everybody can "afford" to be insanely selective. When you use negative adjectives to describe someone else's personal boundaries and standards like that, it just makes you sound like you think they should lower their standards so they'll sleep with you.

Captain-Stunning · 2022-10-18T16:35:47+00:00

If you’re willing to be single you can afford to have high standards

thetruthishere_ · 2022-10-18T19:54:20+00:00

Why do you care what women want you dont want to date? Go get those 22 year olds.

I'll be as picky as I want because guess what? I'll find it.

JMoon33 · 2022-10-18T16:47:28+00:00

If you're in your 30's or 40's and happy single, it'll take a lot to convince you to give that up, no matter your gender.

delight-n-angers · 2022-10-18T19:18:24+00:00

They can afford to have high standards because they don't actually care about whether or not they end up single. Women are by and large becoming more and more fine with being single forever if men aren't willing to act like actual partners.

Lysa_Bell · 2022-10-18T17:06:32+00:00

Why would any guy jump through even MORE hoops to get them than a prime pick?

You don't have too. Nobody is forcing you to date 30s/40s women. If you can pick up the "prime" do that.

MyLastBestChance · 2022-10-18T17:10:27+00:00

Here’s the thing, older women generally don’t have any desire to be an “easy lay” and should we choose to look for a cub for a bit if fun, we can and will choose the pick of the litter.

As an example, a 30 year old, 5’8” 185 lb, balding and bitter counter clerk is never going to be in the running.

Being older will never mean that women have to dumpster dive🤣🤣🤣.

Oli_love90 · 2022-10-18T17:30:10+00:00

older single women exist

Some guy: “Look at her, choosing to be single and not wanting MY pity fuck?! Younger women are better! You hear me you picky old baggage hoe!”

The way ya’ll talk about older women is mind blowing. You’ve built up the “Disney witch poisoning beautiful young Snow White” version of older single women that just painfully illustrates how little you interact with women. We just out here, living, leave us tf alone.

HimNeutron · 2022-10-18T16:46:38+00:00

I’m 40. Absolutely, I can “afford” to be as selective as I want. There’s no downside for me in ensuring I only date and sleep with men I’m attracted to, and losing out on the chance to be an “easy lay” for someone I’m not interested in and don’t want to sleep with isn’t a loss. I like who I like, some of them are interested in me back, there are lots of great men out there and life goes on just fine.

AcanthocephalaNew947 · 2022-10-18T17:24:05+00:00

Call me crazy but it looks like you’re mad older women won’t let you hit, so you’re just throwing out insults.

I am more picky than I was when I was young because when I was young, naive impressionable, a people pleaser and broke 😂

LotBuilder · 2022-10-18T18:46:28+00:00

I’m a guy and I’m pretty red pilled but I can see why a single mom in her 30’s or 40’s might opt to have no man rather than settling for someone that doesn’t meet their needs. Relationships are hard. If the other person doesn’t provide what you need then why do it? Getting different needs met by different people is a viable option.

NJFlowerchild · 2022-10-18T16:55:12+00:00

Hoosker is back with another take on why women are entitled for not being an easy lay. Shocking.

blockboii190 · 2022-10-18T17:27:33+00:00

Bro get help

KikiYuyu · 2022-10-19T01:14:15+00:00

This is what happens when you are not desperate and needy: You choose what you want, not whatever you can get.

CimZim · 2022-10-18T17:43:38+00:00

u/Cooley-High can you give an actual description or examples of what is "insanely selective"?

ElectricBugs · 2022-10-18T22:51:36+00:00

The way you talk about women is sickening. "Ran through". Gross

As a 42 year old woman I am super selective. I've been married. I've since had LTR and was engaged. My priorities have changed and I have kids who take up my time anyway. If the well of men to fuck dries up I don't care. I am happy being alone. I'm not lonely. I have family and friends. I am busy. I prefer this to the mess that my previous relationships were.

blueberrypie02 · 2022-10-18T17:47:51+00:00

Why do you care that women you find less desireable don’t want to be an ‘easy lay’?

KekeSmall · 2022-10-18T17:56:17+00:00

Getting dick from a middle age man with hypertension and a receding hairline isn’t a flex.

greenifuckation · 2022-10-18T22:41:38+00:00

Hello 👋🏼 35 year old woman here who gets asked out regularly by 6ft+ handsome bodybuilders on a regular basis & doesn't have no problems attracting a partner & no I've never been used for sex before.

I think you need to get off the echo chambers on the internet & start meeting some people in rl.

TotalTravesty · 2022-10-18T16:38:10+00:00

If you get what you want in the end then it turns out it you could afford it.

learn2earn89 · 2022-10-18T19:20:53+00:00

It’s not about “can afford” it’s between what you really want and being single. Being single is 100x better than being in a lackluster relationship.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-10-18T18:55:53+00:00

When I was a virgin I fantasized about an older woman initiating me into sex. Never happened obviously since older women aren't drawn to virgins.

But here is what I think the attraction is: older women presumably have some experience and know what they want, which means they are into it more, they are actively involved and actively choosing. So more enthusiasm coming right out of the gate. That's a big plus.

MarshmallowFloofs85 · 2022-10-18T21:44:25+00:00

generally because as a woman ages, so does their interests. so a thirty year old isn't gonna want a 30+ year old man who can't wash his butt or hold down a job, nor does your sweet COD score make their panties wet. whereas the 20 year old sees a 25 year old and sees ~ooh he's cool and hot~ not ~ohh he's a useless bag of crap that I have to mother~

Also, it's pretty rare that a woman will jump through hoops, especially a woman over thirty. this isn't 1950 where we need a man for financial security and ten to one a good digital dimestore romance and 20 minutes with a vibrator and most of us are good, Y'all just have to bring more to the table then "I have a penis"

I think the question is why do our (I'm using "our" as a whole) interests change and y'all (I'm using "Y'all) as a whole) stay the same? don't you find it kinda *icky* that a 40 year old is lusting after a 20 something year old? "but her body is so fertile" ..bruh you gotta take 3 pills to get it up, stfu.

SauronOMordor · 2022-10-18T17:43:28+00:00

They can afford to be insanely selective.

You can afford to do anything you are willing to pay for. The price of being selective is being single. If you are willing to pay that, you can be as selective as you want.

Drougen · 2022-10-18T20:32:52+00:00

I'm an average dude and I'm pretty selective. I've turned down a handful of women. I'm single more often than in a relationship, but I've also learned to be happy while single.

Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-10-18T20:31:38+00:00

What world do you people live in, to believe that simply because a woman is aging, she suddenly becomes a subhuman with her previous values vanishing?

Why should someone's value change just to accommodate someone they don't want, to beginw with?

Most men here only see a woman for her body parts, want to show her little respect and mock her for needing "protection" - and this is what I have learnt past week on this sub. Why shall she change for such man?

waffleznstuff30 · 2022-10-18T23:16:17+00:00

I'm a single childfree woman in my 30s. And a late bloomer if you will. I've probably had more experience in my mid to late 20s than I ever did when I was younger.

Why should I stop being picky? . I have my own things I make my own money and I have a pretty decent life also I'm goth/alt so I have no issue with finding men. I can afford to be picky I don't want to settle for someone, who doesn't add some value or bring something special into my life. I can afford to be picky and previous relationships have made me wiser and know what to watch out for and what behavioral patterns to look out for. Why settle? To make men in the internet happy because I'm supposed to be an old woman? Like the clock turned 30 and suddenly I am indebted to any man who looks my way? No a lot of us come into our own and feel a lot more confident in our 30s. Where the 20s it's what does everyone else think the 30s is what do I think?

Willow-girl · 2022-10-18T23:54:12+00:00

Because "no man" is a better option than a dude who is a net liability.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2022-10-18T16:43:07+00:00

Why would any guy jump through even MORE hoops to get them than a prime pick?

Because they can't get the prime pick. If they could, they'd have her by now instead putting their sour grapes on display.

Irys-likethe-Eye · 2022-10-18T17:28:36+00:00

Of course a person with life experience is going to be more selective. And as you mature what you consider a prerequisite will shift as well. No mature women wants a man baby with no hygiene who won't clean up after himself has a shit work ethic, doesn't have a functioning established household and an understanding of money management or a devolped personality. We already dealt with those in our 20's and expect an equitable level of personal evolution from a potential partner. Unless she's picking up some young gigolo lol. And then he'll have to be suitably good looking and the rest of those things are irrelevant for a bit. She's not going to keep him after all.

Lol post wall for an "easy lay"... How weirdly embarrassing for you because this speaks far more of you than you think.. Cousin, you got a lot of living and loving to learn from. If that 30's / 40's woman is an "easy lay" you better believe she thinks that of the guy. She's using the guy as an "easy lay". And then she'll walk away easy peasy back to her job and errands and maybe her kids and the dude will have no part in any of it and that will be just the way she planned it, there will be no texting or meeting up for a drink later this week.

Now if she's not interested in just an easy lay and is actually interested in a potential relationship with a guy the criteria standard to meet is going to be different. Nobody wants to tether themselves to a burden for the sake of sex. Well, except trad men I guess.

Long story short, women don't think they can be selective, we know it and guys just never stop proving it to us. Your post is an example of that.

SoIlikeMangos · 2022-10-18T17:34:18+00:00

Nah poeple will call you selective anyway. I'm 23 & wanting a guy with a stable income is considered high standard.

womandatory · 2022-10-18T22:11:45+00:00

That’s because we can. When you’re older, you’ll understand. Right now you’ve been brainwashed to believe youth = beauty, but that changes as you get older. I’m in my late 40s and have never been so short of options I’ve had to lower my standards. It helps that I’m perfectly content being single, so I don’t have to compromise on things that matter to me.

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-10-18T22:19:18+00:00

Prime pick? Why would a prime pick want the avg joe?

Let me tell you why we can set whatever standards we want… (i’m an early 30 y/o mom, married but let’s say i became single or whatever reason)…

I would rather be a single mom then be a mom to an adult child. I’d rather be a single mom, then marry a man who isn’t up to par. I would rather be a single mom, than marry a man who doesn’t care for my child as his own. And if that means I stay single, cool. I don’t care. But if YOU are trying to find a partner, and you cannot find one, then maybe lower your standards. But if you are cool and happy to remain single, keep whatever standards you want. It’s called, not being desperate.

I would never settle for someone I don’t feel is worthy for me and my kid.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-10-18T22:39:33+00:00

Come on ! Men really only need the basics of adulting life, and most women, "not all"will accept him if hes decent looking, and not a complete prick. Seriously how hard is it to have a decent job making over 45k a year , no felonies , driver's license, be decent looking , keeping up personal hygiene. Have some intelligence ,and be able to hold a decent conversation beyond Red Pill quizzes ? Literally y'all act like it's damn complicated. Maybe you are going after women who are finacially and physically out of your league. Step it down pilgrim.

Barneysparky · 2022-10-18T16:33:32+00:00

Older women know what they want and are unlikely to be fooled by someone who looks at them as a easy lay. Its called maturity and it happens to most humans.

If an older woman desires casual sex she will do so with someone she likes, not someone who thinks of her in the terms you have suggested here.

mistressusa · 2022-10-18T19:55:48+00:00

Idk OP... are you ugly? have no social skill? poor? have no friends? bad hygiene? 4'10"? no job? live in your mom's basement? It's hard to diagnose why you are being rejected even by post-wall chicks without more info.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-10-18T16:42:43+00:00

in my 30s i’ve found that i’m not necessarily more picky, but i do have a much better idea of what i want and what i don’t want. my boundaries are healthier, my expectations are clearer, and i’m comfortable with myself enough to know that single is a valid option.

neetykeeno · 2022-10-18T21:17:47+00:00

Well it doesn't need to make sense from your point of view does it? Because another person's world and decisions about deal or no deal aren't all about you just because you are fascinated with the possibility of putting a dick up that person.

It only needs to make sense from the point of view of a middle aged woman who finds herself to be of quite a lot of value to herself and doesn't see much point in giving any of herself away without compensation that she thinks is sufficient for the various hardships having a man around entails.

Women are really good at being of use to themselves. They better at being of use to themselves every year that passes That's what you're up against.

Look sometimes we think a bit of real estate should be really cheap, it looks real handy and not glamorous or in a great location so it should be real cheap so we knock on the door make the offer and the person who owns it laughs in our face when we offer what we think is a more than fair market price... because the property is and will continue to be worth more than that to them. That dynamic is just reality sometimes.

I've got a lovely soup ladle. Perfectly balanced, a joy to use. It is aluminium and from the sixties. A bit dinged up. I would be hard pressed to get a dollar for it at a garage sale. If you were in my kitchen and offered me twenty dollars for it I would refuse. I would probably take a hundred dollars for it. Guess that soup ladle is not going to go to anyone else soon...and that's just how it is.

See how this works?

2022-10-19T11:46:28+00:00

They can. Lol

I’m 25, and I’ll be just as selective at 50 as I was at 19. I’ve had many men ask me out and I’ve said no.

People can afford to be selective in dating because really what the “potential” is competing with is their desire to be single. Let’s be real: being single is much better by far and no man can compete with that!

I’m a medical student and have my own income, and so I have female friends who are the same way - don’t need men. My friend Kaelynn has never dated, and she’s probably a 9 out of 10 on an attractiveness scale to men and she’s the one always getting asked out, mostly. She doesn’t even try. Lol We simple have better things to do.

Seriously, what do these men have to offer us? We’re better off than the men are.

TLDR: If the man can’t compete with the greatness of being single, he’s not worth it. And that’s the problem those men you’re taking about face.

BigOleGreenTrees · 2022-10-18T19:58:35+00:00

Luckily for older women their whole ego isn't built on being fuckable like yours is.

ovary-achiever · 2022-10-18T21:43:57+00:00

Single woman here, 38, fit, attractive, and a lawyer. Going to be selective AF. Also no interest in anyone who would even consider dating a 25 year old. 🤣

2022-10-18T19:26:29+00:00

Wow what a sociopathic viewpoint. Pretty sure grown ass women just don’t want to be mistreated. Younger women haven’t been put through the wringer yet.

Exotic-One3381 · 2022-10-18T21:15:48+00:00

That's because at that age women value quality not quantity. They are OK with being single if they don't meet the right guy and they don't care what other guys think because their self esteem is dependant on the compliments of men. Women at that age have their own life and friends and interests. They don't NEED a guy. They can see right through the guys seeking an easy lay and will slam the door in his face with no regrets.

Whereas young women are impressed by any guy with a car and apartment, and thrive on attention from lots of guys,and impressing their friends by having a boyfriend and playing games like making a guy jealous or upgrading the guy or seeing who can get with someone else first when they break up. Their love life in many ways defines them. If no guys are looking at them then they feel anxious. Why do you think they are so prolific on social media and insta

2022-10-18T22:18:38+00:00

I think this post was made by someone 21 or younger - people don’t have to date. A lot of people are just fine single. They’re not “getting away” with anything. They would rather be single than date someone who doesn’t upgrade their life. Honestly nothing wrong with that it just doesn’t fit an average guys agenda.

Apprehensive-Coat-84 · 2022-10-19T00:01:15+00:00

Dude it’s your personality.

YveisGrey · 2022-10-19T04:29:09+00:00

What’s it to you? If you think they are beneath you don’t date them. They still reserve the right to have whatever standards. Just because a woman is older or has a child doesn’t mean she has to be willing to sleep with a man quickly a person can decide at anytime when they want to be intimate with another person (granted there is mutual consent) take it or leave it.

doggiedoc2004 · 2022-10-18T20:32:55+00:00

ok and? By that age, women know what they want. They are confident enough not to accept less and confident enough to know if they do not get what they want, living alone is fine. Why settle for man babies that think they are "run through?" lol

ThanosSnapsSlimJims · 2022-10-18T21:54:13+00:00

Honestly... it's ok to know what you want in a person you're going to give your time to.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2022-10-18T23:31:52+00:00

I'm 36, so I'm at around the time when I have a wide access to different age ranges of women.

I can unequivocally say that younger women are way more flaky and entitled than older women.

Conversely, younger women are also less jaded than older women.

Laurely4u · 2022-10-19T00:29:09+00:00

I don’t necessarily think I can afford to be selective at age 56, what I am thinking is that taking on the responsibility for a husband is a big job and I am fairly comfortable living where I am right now. It would take a good offer to make me give up living alone.

briiiana1122 · 2022-10-19T00:53:47+00:00

Yeah I mean when I was single again in my mid 30s I had way higher standards than when I met my ex husband at 23. I’d never have dated him or someone who fit his profile once I had my life and career together. And yes, I found someone who meet my standards and we are happy together.

2022-10-19T01:09:12+00:00

The very first woman I had sex with was 42 and could have her pick of men in most rooms she was in.

TonytheNetworker · 2022-10-19T01:45:31+00:00

Girls generally still have far more options than guys in almost every age category. Yes, guys tend to peak late 20’s and well into their 30’s but it takes major discipline. You have to have your money in order, be in great shape, charismatic, etc. And you better hope that your hair isn’t receding or have a pot belly from being inactive.

In comparison, there was a video that went viral of a 45 year old women with a fat ass and I noticed that men from 18-65 were lusting after this women. Unless a guy is within the top 15% of physical attractiveness or a local celebrity there is no way that a guy would get that level of attention.

You seem to think that women will just deteriorate after 30 which isn’t true. The only part I agree with is that a committed relationship will be more difficult for women since the top tier guys won’t be available and will cause women to either stay single or feel like they’re settling.

highoncatnipbrownies · 2022-10-19T02:33:04+00:00

I would rather never have sex again and die single than be in another crappy relationship.v

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-10-19T04:40:38+00:00

What do you mean 'afford to be' in this context? There is no cost to being "insanely" selective, it's not a bad thing to limit your dating pool. Most women even if they want to have a child with someone, are seeking a GOOD and COMPATIBLE partner and father to their would be child, not one they do not find appealing.

Single moms in their thirties and forties do not struggle for dates contrary to popular belief. Most end up in relationships and most of those relationships start with mutual sexual attraction.

Some men actually prefer to date a single mom whose kids are already grown or almost grown because they get the house to themselves when the kids are at the ex's, and they get to play catch with the kids instead of changing their poopy diapers.

Maybe if you're in a very small city where there are only like ten people in a woman's age range to date might she run into an issue, but most people live in more densely populated areas and can get dates and begin relationships sometimes just as easily as in their twenties, sometimes even more easily.

Katatonicsnake · 2022-10-19T06:29:25+00:00

So a woman is older. She knows what she wants, but she’s also ok with being single. She has been in relationships before and knows what absolutely doesn’t work. Why on earth should she lower her standards? To gain what? Let’s say that she has “baggage”, aka children. That’s even a bigger reason to have high standards.

These posts also underestimate the amount of choice women in their 30s and 40s have. There are still more than she might need.

Diddy_1978 · 2022-10-19T07:31:33+00:00

The problem with you, and this type of guys, is that you consider women only for their looks, and that you think having had sex with others ‘ruins them’. Believe me, older women have enough experience to understand that you despise them and that you look down on them, and they’ll dodge the bullet. On op of this, clearly you would value a hot but dumb 20yo, over an average looking academically gifted one. Because you value the wrong thing.

JonathonWally · 2022-10-19T10:33:22+00:00

Everyone can be as picky as they want. As a man, no one besides me will ever decide whom I would be with (if I were single) and the same goes for women and everyone else.

SauronOMordor · 2022-10-19T13:58:27+00:00

Repeat after me: you're not competing with other men for women's attention, you're competing against the peace and security of being alone.

Y'all need to understand that.

We don't need you.

If you want us, you have to make us want you. And there's nothing desirable about a whiny, entitled pissbaby.

toasterchild · 2022-10-18T19:10:09+00:00

Because being single is preferable to dating substandard people. Not sure what you don't get about that.

BigOleGreenTrees · 2022-10-18T20:01:19+00:00

Can you keep your screeching down? Gonna scare away the hot chicks

AshookaNaga · 2022-10-19T02:16:54+00:00

I don’t think women’s standards are high enough. They literally stink of desperation and need to be even more selective.

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2022-10-19T00:04:49+00:00

"Why won't these single moms fuck me, I AM ENTITLED TO THEIR BODY!!!" - OP

briiiana1122 · 2022-10-19T00:53:54+00:00

Yeah I mean when I was single again in my mid 30s I had way higher standards than when I met my ex husband at 23. I’d never have dated him or someone who fit his profile once I had my life and career together. And yes, I found someone who meet my standards and we are happy together.

bigapple4am · 2022-10-19T02:14:10+00:00

Alot of us hear stuff like this and are ok with being single tbh

bluehorserunning · 2022-10-19T02:44:27+00:00

Of course. When you'd rather be alone than have someone you don't want, you wait for the one you want.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2022-10-19T02:59:55+00:00

Another day, another ''waaaah, X group of women dare to not want to bang every dude that expresses interest'' post.

TheMedsPeds · 2022-10-19T09:22:33+00:00

Hell yeah I’m pickier now. I’m a 32 year old childless woman that is the still the same size I was in high school. People mistake me for being in my mid 20s all the time. I have a car and my own place, a full time job and can take care of a house and maintain myself independently. I’ve never slutted around nor left my husband/he left me. I was in a loving marriage for most of my 20’s but he died. So no looming obsessive ex that would bother us or you’d have to worry about me going back to.

And since this whole men in their 30+ are focused on 18-25 thing is a work of fiction that this sub made up (most people want partners around their age) I have no reason to lower my standards since I’m a lot more appealing to my peers now because what I bring to the table at my age is less common than having all that at 19 which was normal. Now it’s rare, so I got waaaay more male attention post being widowed than before. When I was 19 I was just an slightly below average looking Tom boy woman with the typical life set up, in college and existing normally. Now since I’m not fat or grey, going through a divorce or have a couple of kids tagging along, and have feminized my style a bit more (no more metal shirts, jeans and converse all the time) I am higher in the looks scale compared to many of my female peers. And most importantly OLD is waaay more normalized so I can literally find a guy on my couch, I don’t have to go out to bars or mingle with social groups, flirt or all of that hard IRL shit which was my only option pre-2011.

Plus I don’t want kids so the men looking for “youth and fertility” aren’t the men for me since I have no plans on breeding ever.

Logical-Confection-7 · 2022-10-19T12:18:34+00:00

This is meaningless as many men think they deserve a hot young women at 40 when they are as broke as a 20 yr old. Bro, most likely, is not gonna happen for you. You don’t look good and not rich enough to compensate it. Just date the what is at your reach.

Puzzleheaded-Sort812 · 2022-10-19T12:31:56+00:00

It's funny how women can be "ran through" but men with the same body count are not described in that same way. The misogyny runs thick here! Here's a thought, maybe women are so picky because they are ready willing and able to be alone over being with a man who doesn't meet their standards. A guy is not required, he is just the icing on the cake for many women.

stresseddepressedd · 2022-10-19T14:50:10+00:00

All the pills you take and you have not yet swallowed the one that lets you see reality. There is no wall. Someone aging doesn’t mean they have to settle for the company of complete losers like yourself.

Smithersink · 2022-10-19T18:52:34+00:00

My question whenever I see posts like this is, why do you care? If the women you’re talking about are genuinely less desirable than other women you could be getting with, then their existence in the dating pool should be irrelevant to you.

george__whorewell · 2022-10-18T20:43:07+00:00

I'm young and picky because I like being single a lot more than being in a relationship. If I meet someone that I like, okay cool. If not, whatever.

lilac2481 · 2022-10-19T00:38:34+00:00

Being single is better than being in a relationship with a useless man-baby who can't wipe his own ass.

LordPeppino · 2022-10-18T17:06:03+00:00

So? Leave them alone, hopefully the cougar fantasy will die that way.

thedeadpill · 2022-10-18T17:16:09+00:00

Many of them are willing to be single. “Chad or bust” is a choice some people make.

Aromatic_Shop9033 · 2022-10-18T22:54:51+00:00

Sure, because she's "had her fun."

No more fun now, just provisioning and being treated as a wallet, men.

Yay.

KingOnixTheThird · 2022-10-19T02:59:26+00:00

Even women well into their 30s and 40s think they can afford to be insanely selective, often even more so than younger far more attractive girls

Definitely true.

My sister is 34 years old and recently single and is quite picky. She once admitted that she thinks that indian men are ugly, and when my parents suggested that she should date a guy they knew, she said "ewww he's ugly".

My sister exclusively dates 6 ft tall white guys. She could get away with this in her twenties because she was the hot blonde.

Now at 34, she's unemployed, an alcoholic, has clear behavioral problems, but because she's a hot girl, she can be as picky as she wants to be.

Life isn't fair.

foxbirch · 2022-10-19T04:54:02+00:00

Once a woman has kids, everything she does is 'for the kids' so the laundry list of criteria for potential partners is wayyyy longer than it was before she was zero parity.

Pre kid: be hot and fun

Post kid: be stable and meek, so that I can extract what I can out of you for the sake of my kid

MarjieJ98354 · 2022-10-18T22:29:53+00:00

Well, maybe it not being insanely selective. Aren't women undateble past 25; hit the wall after 35 and all the other thing men are no longer attractive to women past 25. If you running into resistance on post wall women; that's says more about you than her!!

k_aevitas · 2022-10-19T00:27:10+00:00

There's different takes on this.

Women can do the same and have high standards if that's what they choose but it doesn't mean they can get away with doing the same. The biggest difference is that they have a limited biological ability to have kids and it expires much earlier than men. Male attractiveness peaks when they are older, most women prefer guys who are older actually way more than some inexperienced immature 20-25 year old guy who likely has way less money as well.

The dating game ends up becoming rigged where women can't really win as they can't compete with much younger women who have already won the game simply for being around them as youth and fertility are the most desired traits that all men desire. Most Guys don't chase women for their finances, education, maturity etc that's just a bonus but their ultimate preference is for youth and fertility,. This in no way should mean women should drop their standards it's their choice entirely but the reality is dating really does get much harder for women as they age...especially if they get old. In many traditional cultures around the world even today anything past 26 is old and after age 30 it's pretty much over for them and they struggle getting dates let alone marriage. Look up leftover women in china, India etc. Beautiful well established middle aged women who are chronically single because men from their culture refuse to date most of them as they know they are too old to get kids or a family.

Men can still choose to have kids and start a family at older ages 35, 40 or even older.. for a woman it's either already too late or seriously not recommended and even dangerous to have kids that late. Consider a single woman in her 30s who is just starting out dating...then she needs years to actually know if the guys the right one and searching winning and losing some, then by the time she's ready she could be too old. That's why guys don't understand why women CANT wait like a guy does. They biologically don't have the same time to wait.

Now to answer the other part of your question..it's because at least for the most part in the western world women have gotten more powerful, they are able to survive well on their own, making as much money or more than men at times, usually having lower sex drives than men they have no obligation or desire to drop their standards. Also if you consider them being ran through...why would you expect they would have even lower standards...what just to get fucked over even more ? It's like if you got wrecked a few times your not gonna drop your standards even further unelss you want to get destroyed.

luroot · 2022-10-19T04:00:19+00:00

Lol, they can find a desperate simp...but never their laundry list at that stage. Because no guy who fulfills all that...would lower his standards to commit to her. Casual sex, sure. But commitment - very likely not...

I wouldn't say the 20s coeds are less pickier, though. They are just far pickier on just a very few select criteria (like looks) to pop out rugrats with due to their stratospheric market value and infinite suitors... Which is why if you are able to even try dating one...you always feel like you're one of many on The Bachelorette, lol.

But once they're done breeding...they don't care about looks AS MUCH anymore and that's when they draw up the laundry list to acquire every-damn-thing else they ignored before (character, resources, etc).

Dagenius1 · 2022-10-18T22:38:12+00:00

I do laugh when I speak with some of my single 40s female friends and they talk about what they are looking for..in some cases it’s really crazy how big the gap is between what they want and what they are offering.

Either way, you can always choose to be single and that’s all fair for any of us. Good luck out there

midwesternMD · 2022-10-18T17:18:10+00:00

Not sure what you’re trying to argue.

I agree with your title, in some respects.

I also agree with your post content, in some respects.

But I disagree that this is even an issue.

Some older women/single mothers are very selective. And if they’re happy with the prospect of remaining single, I don’t see the problem with that.

To your credit, for my part, as a single unencumbered divorced man, I don’t have any interest in dating those women, let alone jumping through any hoops. Age and single mothers alone are automatic left swipes for me, if they manage to break through my search filters. I’m okay with the prospect of being a perpetual bachelor as opposed to a potential stepdad.

If you want to just vent about how some relatively undesirable women have unrealistic expectations, go for it. I much rather prefer to live my life oblivious to the existence of such women.

If my goals change and I decide that I only want to pursue casual sex with someone attractive, then I might commiserate. But if I want to get laid and find someone attractive, I’ll jump through some number of hoops before deciding she’s not worth it.

ilovesoundtracks · 2022-10-18T20:01:58+00:00

Many times, a seller will jack up the prices of stale goods, especially if he/she is emotionally involved in its sale. The seller may think the goods are worthy, but the market knows better.

Women in their 30's and 40's get lower quality and quantity of male interest. Women like being courted and desired, and men don't really put in a lot of effort into courting older women as compared to younger women. A lot of women make peace with the fact that they would rather wait for a man that makes some effort.

Men love beautiful women and do not leave them alone. The beautiful older ones are never or rarely single. The distribution of single women is skewed towards the older ones, as women get older, more of them become single. This is the reality, whether they are "insanely selective" is more up to interpretation.

BitsAndBobs304 · 2022-10-18T23:45:41+00:00

Yes, and it's big reason as to why "out of your league" is not true.

athlete2biz · 2022-10-19T16:12:47+00:00

Nah dude this is just you.

Woman in their early 20s are by far the pickiest. they are getting hit on by every demographic of man.

Theres a reason men go for older woman for a slump buster, they are way easier and more desperate.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-10-20T02:01:21+00:00

If they are being too picky, they simply won’t get what they’re looking for. Not sure why this needs to be complained about if you’re not interested anyway? At least they’re avoiding men who think they’ll be an “easy lay.” Maybe that’s why they’re picky. Good for them!

cisra_returned1 · 2022-10-18T17:13:20+00:00

Sure they can be even more selective, but that does not mean it works to lock the men they like for relationships, though. Just sex.

Also consider freezing your eggs.

Mindless-Spare-2454 · 2022-10-18T23:27:46+00:00

There’s a common misunderstanding amongst women, it’s builds in their youth and they believe it into middle age.

The misconception is that men need women, they believe this because of the attention they got when they were young. They cannot separate the desire men have for sex, with men wanting a woman.

When women reach their 30s+ and are still single they start to hit a wall. Men they rejected in their 20s are now successful, financially settled, more mature both intellectually and physically. Sometimes they are also healthier and more attractive they they were and they’ve taken care of themselves. So not only are these men now attractive to them even though they weren’t when they were young, but these men are also attractive to the younger women. Women with out emotional baggage, fitter, more attractive and younger (pure).

This is when the wall hits them plum in the face, they aren’t desired by men and they never have been. Because what men truly desire is a companion they can build with, create something with. And unfortunately they cannot compete with younger women, it’s why there’s a huge pool of single mothers. It takes a certain type of man to date/marry a woman who has already bore children form another man.

LowCreddit · 2022-10-18T20:08:58+00:00

These women do exist, but they are rare. Most women that old are more in tune with reality than that, even if they won't admit it verbally.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-10-19T05:24:07+00:00

Of course we get pickier we know more about what we do and don’t want

The fact you are speaking about women using the words chick, post wall, ran through shows how you feel about women, why would we want to fuck you?

ViolentTakeByForce · 2022-10-19T12:20:00+00:00

I think the way you are asking the core of your question is kind of off. Almost makes it seem like you are frustrated with women because you aren’t getting laid lol, and I’m an RP man.

What you seem and RP in general seems to miss is that the 40 yo women still have as much option as HVM is many cases. Even if it’s for getting laid only, if something is in abundance, you value it less. It’s like if you have unlimited access to water, you care about water when you are thirsty outside of that you don’t run around thinking water is going to run out.

Just like men become Jaded, so do women. And I do think that some women can hold out longer and better without marriage or LTR when they are older and “ran through” (using your wording). Part of it from the older single women I know, is being bitter and/or alpha widowed. Another part of it is the females that make this work have faux alpha personalities. So they have to run the show and prefer running the show over a relationship. I can’t actually think of a real feminine woman who has stayed single more than a year or 2 now that I think of it. Other than 2 wonderful women who had their husbands pass before they did, including my great grandmother. They never wanted to remarry or date, that marriage was “it” for them.

So yes, they waste their prime years, give up a life with the best partner they could have had and either have to settle later or jump into casual sex/single lifestyle. Generally speaking women aren’t as horny as men anyway, I see men complain about it all the time. If they are looking for companionship they can hang out with other single women. Is this a “happy” life? Again I’d say they aren’t as happy generally speaking as someone who made better decisions than them when younger, but at that point what are you going to do? People have to make the best of the decisions they made.

I’ll finish it off with this, media and society is pushing women into becoming alphas, looking down on men, casual sex, N count doesn’t matter, women can do what men do and come out with no emotional/mental trauma. Can you really blame women for doing what they do? I say this because it seems like you come from a place of anger and frustration, not just asking a question. This is what women are being sold. At the end of the day they are human beings and I have compassion for them because they are practically brainwashed on every single media platform you can think of and by the time they realize, it’s a hard pill to swallow. Let’s please try and remember this isn’t just “an idea of women”, these are human beings just like us men, who were also sold a lie. We each need to have compassion for each other, anger will not solve this type of conflict, at least not directing it towards women. They aren’t the enemy.

Part of the reason it’s this bad is because real men weren’t raising their daughters, and left bitter women to do so. Just like only a man raising his daughter isn’t optimal and has its own set of problems. Society has destroyed the family and men need to step up to the plate and be there for their kids if they want a lot of the bull shit from society to end. Don’t fuck women you don’t want kids with. Get prenups if you have to. But be there for your kids.

LetSuitable5665 · 2022-10-19T13:26:50+00:00

Idk why they think that, if a man wants kids he’s not going to get with a women in her 40s unless he’s dense. So that should be reason enough for her to be less selective, unless she doesn’t care what her man wants. They get a lot of attention sure, but it’s probably just for dudes who want sex. That’s why Milf porn is so popular nowadays.

Additional_Speech164 · 2022-10-22T14:17:32+00:00

We’re just not desperate usually. Whether 18,48,80 . A man is competing with me and my life on my own, which is pretty good. You need to ADD to our lives in a positive way for us to be interested. Irs really not about men anyway as most women are happy on their own.

fayaz_mogra8 · 2022-10-23T09:58:22+00:00

Sure they can be fussy. But a good looking fit guy like me won’t go near them when I can date girls between 18-24 it’s called common sense, biology and hypergamy.

Now17 · 2022-10-23T16:04:49+00:00

Poor , miserable incels, want women to lower their standards so they can have a chance lol

Additional_Speech164 · 2022-10-27T01:15:07+00:00

That’s a good thing. Women should be picky, no matter the age.

sadbitch55 · 2022-11-29T02:37:23+00:00

ALL and EVERY woman HAS THE DUTY to be selective. Women invest way more emotional and temporal resources into a relationship, and we have hearts that can be broken. So, a woman should not open her legs to anything with a pulse just because she can't handle being alone for a while.

XalonWOW · 2023-01-07T18:24:50+00:00

I'm 42 but look like I am 30. I take good care of myself. But when I go on a dating app to look for women between 28-45, nine out of ten look like they are in their 50s or 60s, always overweight, always looking "used up" and the women that look good are 9 out of 10 a bot! It is crazy!

I work a lot so I do not have much time to go out and meet people. When I was younger it was easier but now it is harder. All I want is to meet someone who is cute but not overweight/fat, has a sense of humor, has a good heart and is interesting. Thats it. And it seems impossible.

Even women well into their 30s and 40s think they can afford to be insanely selective, often even more so than younger far more attractive girls

Comments

I AM FED UP OF SEEING SOME OF MY PEERS (many who are childless/never married) PAIRED UP WITH THE UGLIEST DUDES EVER!!!!!

WHY?!

Yet, the “undesirable, leftover” single mothers that TRP deem post wall… are the ones landing the better looking, high value men who have their stuff in place.