“80% of women date 20% of men” is BS

Capybara_88 · 2023-11-27T01:16:38+00:00

It is a true stat from the place it was taken from .... Tinder.

A lot of men take online dating stats and apply them to everything. Online dating is 80% men to begin with, so it is not an even market to draw comparisons to the real world with. The people that constantly use these stats are typically the terminally online people that spend all their time watching content rather then going outside and interacting with people.

ChiBron86 · 2023-11-27T00:54:59+00:00

The red pillers that constantly spout this belief that 80% of women date the top 20% men” have no idea how the real world works.

You are misconstruing what they said. The statement goes, 80% of women are chasing the top 20% of men. Not that they're all actually dating 'em, but that's what they are chasing and claim to be attracted to. There's no shortage of data that supports this.

If anything, 20% seems quite generous if we look at online dating. It's more like 90% are chasing the top 5-10%.

swarley_14 · 2023-11-27T05:45:47+00:00

No data to back that up? I know of atleast Bumble data that shows women swipe right on ~5% profiles. That's pretty much what redpill is saying.

uselessloner123 · 2023-11-27T00:36:17+00:00

80% of women are sexually attracted to the top 20% of men.

There’s a difference.

ummizazi · 2023-11-27T03:43:51+00:00

You’re confusing different studies. In the OKC study, rated 80% of men as less than average, men rated about 50% of women as less than average. Men primarily messaged the most attractive women and women primarily messaged less than average men.

There are tinder reports that say women only swipe on 10% of profiles. It doesn’t say anything about women rate the physical attractiveness of the men in those profiles.

dynospectrum7 · 2023-11-27T01:17:40+00:00

OP. Lmao. Why are you intentionally altering the 80/20 assertion. It’s does not say 80% of women date the top 20% of men. Are you just making some new statistic up? Such strange behavior.

RepresentativeAide27 · 2023-11-27T02:05:28+00:00

"Not only is there no data to back this up"

The dating apps have released loads of data around this phenomenon, it is actually a thing.

Turbulent-Tonight975 · 2023-11-27T01:29:26+00:00

I think that what people don't realize is the online dating numbers inevitably are going to be biased towards the pickiest most unreasonable women remaining. The reasonable women who have a realistic idea of their dating value and pursue, and are happy, with the men on their level will find relationships and leave the dating pool and thus be off the apps. Over time this means that most of the reasonable women are off these apps in long term relationships or married. Left on are the love avoidants who lack secure attachment, the emotionally unstable ones, and those that think they are getting a man who is way better than her.

I think men see the women that are unreasonable or have issues and assuming ALL women are this unflatering. Most of my relationships were found off apps and the women are by far prettier and stable than the typical woman I match with on these apps. The stable women become wives or get in long term relationships. Left are the ones who are blatantly hypergamous or just feel entitled to someone better than herself.

Electronic_West_1831 · 2023-11-27T08:54:00+00:00

The 80/20 ratio is that women are only interested in the top 20% of men - that’s not say they’ll actually get to date said men, but those are the men they want to

hutavan · 2023-11-27T05:25:08+00:00

I don't think anyone ever says that “80% of women date 20% of men” aside from people who are making a strawman. The actual claim is that 80% of women rated 20% of men as above average in looks and the rest below average in the (in)famous okcupid dating study. Alternatively, people will often extrapolate from that that women are only attracted to a tiny pool of men and see vast majority as undesirable. They might settle for a man they aren't physically attracted to for various reasons tho.

To answer your question about female delusion calculator rating the 5'9, 60k as top 20% - it's because the calculator counts every man of any age or marital status, whereas on a dating site, it would already be pre-filtered for younger demographic who is single. When people make 80/20 or similar claims, they think of that demographic, young and single, the kind that would actually be looking to date.

Mental_Telephone · 2023-11-27T06:45:59+00:00

What you say makes sense; after all, you would think that it's mathematically impossible for women to only date the top 20% of the men, unless they're sharing those men... But if you ask women about the height of their current boyfriend, husband or former boyfriend, you will find that most of them have dated a guy who is at least 6 ft tall.. Now, according to statistics, not even 20% of American men are 6 feet or taller; the percentage of American men who are 6 feet or taller is 14%.

So, my conclusion is that most women, at some point in their lives, date a man who is part of the 20% of the men... Women might not date those men at the same time, but they take turns.

Asleep_Cry_7482 · 2023-11-27T12:52:09+00:00

In the club and hook up culture yeah… most women would have their eye on the top 20% of men. The problem is amplified as most of the top 20% of men have no problem hooking up casually with average/ below average women leaving average/ below average men with little opportunity for casual/ONS hook ups. However relationships and even casual dates are completely different especially the older you get. Most average/ below average people date other average/ below average people

k0unitX · 2023-11-27T22:01:16+00:00

The premise is your problem.

your probability of finding a guy like that is 2%

Go create a female Bumble account, say age 22, and pick photos of someone who's like a 5/10 (really, anyone who's not fat and is at least OK looking). Set your filter to 6ft, swipe on the "fit" guys, and make sure you're in at least a medium-sized city. You WILL get matches and messages.

6 figures

These women are usually being finessed; the dude doesn't actually make this money but will act like it to get laid

Will these women be getting long-term committed monogamous relationships from these dudes? Generally, no, hence the 80/20 rule. These dudes are pumping and dumpling multiple women at the same time, the women won't "settle for less" once they "experience" a 6ft guy, even if it means she's eternally just a side piece

FatefulMender89 · 2023-11-27T02:01:54+00:00

They're not saying they date the top 20%, just that they're competing for them. Big difference. How do you think the concept of femcels came about?

Spare-Estimate5596 · 2023-11-27T01:02:40+00:00

Your not understanding. 5% of men fucked 50% of women. What happens is from 18-27 women are fucking chad and chad has 50 sexual partners. But at 28 they settle for beta bux. Maybe beta bux had 2-3GFs before he got married. But his wife probably fucked 10+ men. That is the difference.

IFightingFrogsI · 2023-11-27T01:28:19+00:00

Females judge 80% of men as unattractive on Dating Apps

While men judge 90% of females attractive

Females only pick the top 5 to 1% of men on Dating Apps

While men choose 50% of females

Which means that ugly females are not attracted to ugly men, nor do they choose ugly men (their objective matches)

And average females are not attracted to average men, nor do they choose them (again, their objective matches)

60% of men are single, while only 30% of females are

Which means that 70% of females are dating 40% of men, and considering the fact that men "lie up" about their romantic accomplishments and all the men living in loveless, borderline sexless, abusive and exploitative relationships (basically r/DeadBedrooms), and that number gets even lower

Everything about the modern Dating Market shows that the majority of females are both dating and having casual sex with a minority of above average men

Modern times of female sexual liberation and modern technology completely exposed your nature

No one's buying your constant female self idealizing, self victimizing and self pitying fairy tales

liferelationshi · 2023-11-27T03:21:06+00:00

What are you talking about?

According to the female delusion calculator:

-being 5’9”, not married, not obese, making at least $60k/year is 3.4%, not 20%. I did age 18-40 and any race.

-being 6’, not married, not obese, making at least $100k/year is .35%, not 2%. I did age 18-40 and any race.

All you have to do is read the results after you input them. It couldn’t be easier or clearer.

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2023-11-27T04:04:48+00:00

It's about attraction, not dating. They're saying women are attracted on some level to only 20% of the men. It's still possible to get a date if you're in the bottom 80%, just more difficult.

gopher_glitz · 2023-11-27T12:30:42+00:00

How many men are 6x6x6?

Dertross · 2023-11-27T14:21:28+00:00

In fact if you’re 5’9, not married, not obese and make 60k a year, you’re a 20% guy according to the female delusion calculator.

I was this ( I crept back into Obesity because I gave up) and I was just as invisible as I am now. Turns out that standard doesn't include what important: LOOKS and SOCIALS.

If you're not attractive enough for your looks to overcome the isolation then it doesn't matter how good of a man you are, women won't notice nor care about you.
I did meetups and that didn't work either. Filled with men anyways; often men in a similar situation as me ( no social circle so going to meetups to make up for it ).

theReaders · 2023-11-27T01:01:56+00:00

I have to wonder if most men actually play video games, because back when I was really deep into youtube and twitch gaming and had a whole community of friends through there, it was like untangling the worlds sweatiest sex pile. Of course there are gorgeous people, and average people, and everyone on the spectrum, and you see all combinations so I just wonder how much exposure to it some men have really had.

TenaciousVillain · 2023-11-27T00:58:04+00:00

I wish women would come clean already about the men who fall into the “top 20%” so the boys can stop crying about it. Y’all really have them convinced that they’re missing out. 😂

calfshrug · 2023-11-27T01:58:18+00:00

All people can’t get equal sexual distribution unless all people in committed relationships are polyam and share equally, woman-man, or whatever gender - whatever gender.

In relationships, then and necessarily, it is the case that people match with someone with whom they find compatibility and settlement.

In the land before settlement, men and women are free to pursue trivial sex, in which land, women are ought to seek as high value (or, attractive) men as they can. Because of the supply and demand within this market, women and a small group of men dominate the selection for sexual intercourse

Supreme_Salt_Lord · 2023-11-27T04:24:50+00:00

There isnt enough men to do this. Online tinder matches sure. That market is HEAVILY saturated with men. Ofcourse women will pick the best ones. If i told a man he can pick any woman in the world to date. He wont choose any woman below a 7. Any man who says they would is a LIAR. Im a man, i know how we think and how we act when we have options. We act like women do lmao.

Kairadeleon · 2023-11-27T06:54:08+00:00

Lesbians looking at that stat like 🤨

lovestocomment · 2023-11-27T07:49:38+00:00

I would say, 60% of women are dating 40% of men. I think that number makes the most sense. Especially considering most men are not in relationships and have not had sex. While most women are in a relyand have had sex.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-11-27T10:26:52+00:00

Everyone intelligent and paying attention that applying the 80/20 rule too strictly, or in the wrong way, is bullshit.

At the same time, women clear have more of an attraction to male 'topness' than the other way around, and the way their desire for men maps out in aggregate creates a different curve than male desire for women.

Left unchecked, or even artificially amplified, this innate female desire for 'only the best' can get out of hand and cause serious social problems.

Tight-Breeder · 2023-11-27T10:48:03+00:00

"Female delusion calculator" is the funniest name for that instrument 🤣🤣

obviousredflag · 2023-11-27T11:42:23+00:00

70% of men are currently in a relationship. Probably ~85%+ have been and will be in a relationship again in the future. Thosen men are dating women.

Yes, most likes of women on dating apps go to the most desired ~10% of profiles. But that is the same for men sending their likes to the same 10% of female profiles. Amount of likes sent is a good indicator of who is most desired, but not about who has dates or who gets in relationships. You don't need 1000 likes per week to go on enough dates per year to find a committed relationship within a reasonable timeframe of 1-3 years.

Yes, the top 5% of men are having more than double the amount of sex partners and total amount of sexual intercourse instances than the bottom half of men. But again, this says nothing about how many sex partners or sexual intercourse the bottom half has individually and if that amount is just what they want or way too low for their needs to be met. And it's about the same for women: a tiny minority is having all the sex; not because those are the only sexually attractive ones who have the opportunity to do so, but because they are the few ones who actually prefer having lots of sexual partners and sexual encounters. Most women can have that, but don't want to, so they don't have it.

There is always some great painful inequality assumed from distribution differences, instead of looking at differences in personality and needs, for explanation of most of the differences.

How many sex partners someone wants to have or how frequently they like to have sex is not the same for every man (obviously) and also not determined by how attractive or rich someone is. There are men who look and earn like alpha Chads, who only want to have sex in a committed relationship and prefer to have 1-3 sexual partners over a lifetime if asked for their ideal. There are sub-5 guys on minimum wage with triple digit sexual partner counts, who fuck 2-3 times per day.

wwwArchitect · 2023-11-27T14:29:16+00:00

It’s not bs. It just happens within the lowest socioeconomic subset of the population and “low-class”subcultures, on average. That’s why this subset has the lowest marriage rates and highest out of wedlock birth rates.

No_Berry_7911 · 2023-11-27T18:48:34+00:00

What in the strawman is this

colonizedmind · 2023-11-27T20:51:30+00:00

Not defending them, I think they use data from dating apps. There is no way they can accurately account for everyone.

daddysgotanew · 2023-11-27T23:43:17+00:00

It’s not BS but believe what you will

campskills21 · 2023-11-28T03:17:03+00:00

Various research studies show 80% of women are "chasing" the top 20% of men, not dating. The Pareto Principle applies to a ton of things and this has been clearly shown to be one of them. Also, based on genetic distribution between females and males throughout history is also how it's been on average.

ThrowawayHomesch · 2023-11-28T09:46:19+00:00

It's not bullshit. Literally go to any downtown shopping district. 95% of the dudes you see in relationships are above average looking. The same is not true for their girlfriends. I see it all the time where some 7/10 guy is dating a 5/10 girl.

This is specifically excluding married couples age 35+

Egoistchan · 2023-11-27T00:41:32+00:00

A lot of people need to log off and touch grass, seriously. I'm surrounded by mediocre average guys in relationships. Theyre literally everywhere. Companionship is the NORM.

ladyindev · 2023-11-27T01:11:31+00:00

These people have departed rational concepts and what's happening in reality a while ago.

But yes, this bullshit they bring up makes literally no sense. It would quite literally be an entirely different world in terms of social order and economics. They often say monogamy was created so that average joes could have a woman, instead of rich men having large harems. These men haven't seen what "80% of women only date 20% of men" really looks like or they'd really be crying.

yungplayz · 2023-11-27T13:33:30+00:00

I’d bet my bottom fucking dollar on the latter.

“Lower 80% of men SMV-wise aren’t able to find a partner” doesn’t remotely resemble anything I’ve witnessed with my own two eyes

jpla86 · 2023-11-27T19:28:54+00:00

You’re right it is BS. Because it’s now 95/5.

krafterinho · 2023-11-27T20:49:44+00:00

have no idea how the real world works.

This is the root of the problem

SnooCupcakes9990 · 2023-11-27T03:15:05+00:00

Nope, it's not. I have lots of friend girls and boy friends. My good-looking male friends have hundreds of choices in their DMs.

But hey, let's pretend it doesn't happen, so it makes us feel better.

FoggyDanto · 2023-11-27T04:04:56+00:00

But how else are you going to explain why there are more single men

If 50% of the population are men and the other 50% are women, then there should be the same number in relationships of both genders and the same number of those who are single

harmonica2 · 2023-11-27T05:37:18+00:00

If this stat taken by Tinder, I have gotten laid on tinder and gotten a relationship from on there once years ago. I am 5'11" though, so I guess that's close to 6 feet, but no 5 six figure job, and no six pack for me.

So how true is this data, if I was able to find success on tinder, not meeting the qualifications?

CasseroleTruck · 2023-11-27T01:22:37+00:00

What this sub is is a lot of people either men or women who are very neurotic and have zero life experience and social skills. The men are bitter and say "90% of women want the top 10% of men" and the women, equally deluded with their own problems and hang-ups, wanting to lash out, are like "Ya, so what, too bad." The reality is neither group is qualified to really talk about dating issues objectively in any sense that is informative or valuable. This sub just serves as a metaphorical stress ball or punching bag.

WANT_SOME_HAM · 2023-11-27T03:44:59+00:00

Keep in mind Incels live in a world where porn stars compose 80% of the population and have the ability to teleport next to equally attractive people to ensure there's no scenario where a a sexy person has to date a normal person.

MyLastBestChance · 2023-11-27T00:43:30+00:00

The female delusion calculator is most definitely NOT conducted by the US Census Bureau and NCHS🤣🤣🤣. It was created by some guy named Robert who ostensibly used source data from those and proceeded to build a logic flawed “tool” designed to criticize women.

The “accuracy” of the way the data is used and combined has been debunked repeatedly…

Ok-Remove3693 · 2023-11-27T02:59:35+00:00

It is bs and made up statistic because every guy on tinder always swipes yes on every girl I’ve seen it time and time again.

Broad_Comfort3821 · 2023-11-27T15:45:00+00:00

Red pills want to make this delusional world to hide the fact that they have no skills on approaching women

claratheresa · 2023-11-27T02:16:00+00:00

They are lying-as usual

IllustriousDinner130 · 2023-11-27T01:19:13+00:00

I agree if for no other reason than any so-called “numbers” you hear spouted like these are almost certainly bullshit. Pretty hard to place a qualitative value on what men and women want. Neither gender is a monolith

That being said, I think it is true that women pursue a higher quality type of man (For lack of a better phrase) whereas men have lower standards, due in part because they HAVE too if they want any success in dating. I get where red pillers are coming from, the problem is they’ve gone about it in the dumbest way possible, spouting random numbers to explain a phenomenon that is very real

Fast-Event6379 · 2023-11-27T19:18:39+00:00

Why are you even bothering with dating?

flosterjenkins · 2023-11-27T04:15:41+00:00

Of course it's BS. They can't fool us, but they're really here to convince themselves, maybe shit on women a bit, punch down, feel better about themselves, circlejerk with other smooth brains, etc.

Typically, every bitchy pilled PPD male's first piece of "evidence" for the 80/20 rule is their own hyperactive imagination. See a couple males in this thread, working themselves up with their own elaborate, extreme "evil women" delusional fantasies and getting all pissy about it. Their second source of "evidence" is clinging onto outdated data from apps where the gender ratio is 4 or 5 to 1 and where males swipe on every woman as a strategy and not because they are actually interested.

Can that be extrapolated to casual sex and relationships? Nah, why would we, when we can measure those directly instead of extrapolating. And all stats show median # of sexual partners about the same for males and women, lol

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-11-27T03:25:01+00:00

The 80/20 rule has been debunked many times. Men ignore this so they can forever play the victim.

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2023-11-27T03:05:37+00:00

its more like 25 and 50

DimensionVegetable37 · 2023-11-27T05:41:17+00:00

Dating and Marrying are two different things.
Women will date a loser for a few weeks or hookup.
But the longer term becomes a smaller % of men.

Tuco_Salamanca_facts · 2023-11-27T15:28:00+00:00

I think they are concentrating on gen z, because more people in gen z is getting more sexless

chickenfriedsteakdin · 2023-11-27T16:32:10+00:00

What would really help this discussion is 2022/23 statistics on women age 18-35 broken down by number of sex partners for intercourse AND oral. Add in bisexual too

arsenalfc4life1500 · 2023-11-27T20:06:41+00:00

Not sure if anyones seen it but there was a debate on this between a YouTuber called Wheatwaffles and a Woman called Jazmen Jaffar and he got absolutely destroyed XD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k45DrmdTans&t=732s

armentho · 2023-11-28T00:34:50+00:00

is truth from a certain point of view,you need to filter out by demographic groups

>young (20 to 35)
>online dating (wich is around 80% of dating in young demographic)
>60-ish of young men are single,where 30-ish of women are single

when it comes to this filtering options,wich would be representative of modern young westernized and developed nations,then is truth

change the country and demographic groups,then it changes the data

TheCultOfGrogg · 2023-11-28T03:05:27+00:00

For the last damn time they are not saying that percentage of women only date those men…everyone can look outside and see that 80% of women clearly aren’t married to 20% of women…it’s that a small handful of men (actually about 5%) are wanted by most women. Most women settle and end up dating or marrying guys who are not and would not be their first choice. Most women date 95% of men because they can’t get commitment from the 5% they want. That’s what that stat is saying.

Knight-Bishop · 2023-11-28T21:22:09+00:00

Original source- here it is: 80/20 Rule- Manosphere- Original Source (OkCupid 2009 Blog) https://youtu.be/dY3xPfJqhsA

iAtlas · 2023-11-30T09:24:49+00:00

I think the mistake is thinking that the sum of these two separate pools of people needs to be a sum of 100 😂.

The 80/20 rule you hear of in all these domains is called a Pareto distribution. The rule has nothing to do with adding up to 100 as these are data sets.

The fact that it adds up to 100 is simply coincidence and makes Pareto distribution sound enticing.

To answer your question though, I think the top 25-30% of women date seek and desire only the top 5% of men. This means that 25% of dudes cannot access their equal in this market because that 25% of women thinks their equal is the top 5% of dudes that are still willing to and have put their dick in them. Re read this paragraph a few times

Title	“80% of women date 20% of men” is BS
Author	Ok-Hope-8521
Upvotes	77
Comments	456
Date	November 27, 2023 12:33 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/184prsg/80_of_women_date_20_of_men_is_bs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/80-of-women-date-20-of-men-is-bs.1239439 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239439

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