Q4men who believe in the 80/20 rule: What's unfair about casual sex only being available for the top 20% of men

MisterFunnyShoes · 2024-06-11T17:52:58+00:00

Fairness is irrelevant. It simply is.

Incarnate24 · 2024-06-11T17:55:19+00:00

Nothing, really.

shockingly_bored · 2024-06-11T18:30:07+00:00

Nothing. Just don't treat me like I'm part of that minority of men when I'm not, and you as a women are annoyed at those men that you engage with for pleasure for some reason. Go be suspicious of them, why are the rest of us getting fit in the neck.

Women privatised the pleasure out of their own choice, don't go and socialise the pain, for Christ sake.

ilikecats18851 · 2024-06-11T22:22:11+00:00

Nothing. No redpiller of normal intelligence is angry at women for being women. We're angry the worst of female nature is encouraged, and they get to live out their hypergamy, while we have to fund them through tax dollars. All the while they bitch about the patriarchy and the fake wage gap. I would complain less about female nature if I could just be left alone without women fucking everything up politically.

Most_Read_1330 · 2024-06-11T17:58:23+00:00

Ideally they wouldn't engage in casual sex with anyone. Hook up culture is damaging to most people.

one_ball_policy · 2024-06-11T17:49:40+00:00

It’s not unfair. It’s actually very fair. As long as the woman accepts that a man can not want to entertain someone who has engaged in that behavior

wtknight · 2024-06-11T19:02:16+00:00

I don’t believe in 80/20, but the resentment is due to average women hooking up with more attractive men, then being forced to settle for less attractive men in order to preserve monogamy. Men don’t like being settled for, and especially don’t want to marry a woman who will likely dead bedroom them and then divorce them.

AdEffective7894s · 2024-06-11T18:03:00+00:00

Well fuck, if thats how you want to play it, i guess the men have to just class you as unworthy of any real truth or honesty.

You want relationships with emtional depth and commitment?

are you a top 30% woman to deserve any of it?

Fair is fair right?

____________________________________________

All you need to do is be honest

"Look, i was young and i gav my self fully to guys who were better looking and just more sexy than you. They didnt need a job and commitment for me to go for them, like you needed to aquire before i or any other girl wanted you.

Honestly i am looking to get my life together, buy a house get married and have a kid, and you are my best shot at that.

Sure I will love you, but i will never want to be with you the way I wanted to be with those other boys, Guess all the years of solitary grind was not worth it huh. tee hee"

Just say it like that and the men would be less pissed off than they are now.

AstronautExisting230 · 2024-06-11T17:59:28+00:00

There's nothing wrong with that on a moral level, but its bad for society. I don't think having a huge demographic of bitter angry incels is gonna have great ramifications.

edit:

And before anyone asks me on how I would solve it. I don't think there really is a practical solution to it. It's just kinda inevitable. You treat most men like disposable garbage; you breed the consequences. It's that simple.

jpla86 · 2024-06-11T21:47:41+00:00

80/20?

More like 95/5 with today's women.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2024-06-11T23:29:29+00:00

Nothing unfair, but don't complain when Leo dates a woman less than half his age. Fair is fair.

Suitable-Ad-8598 · 2024-06-11T19:41:15+00:00

You could say the same thing with wealth distribution. A small percentage of people are smart enough/lucky enough (you don’t choose your iq) to make a lot of money.

Businesses and individuals do not consent to giving their money to people who do not produce them value. Is this fair? Idk but it’s reality

No_Matter_8648 · 2024-06-11T18:58:24+00:00

Holy virtue signal Batman. All the Purple pill guys here are def heavy blue. Oh you wanna talk facts? Ok the 80/20 rule has been dead for well over 5 years or more.

We have estimated it’s much closer to 95/5 rule as well as the 50/5 rule. Match.com stats have all but confirmed this.

In any case you missed the forest through the trees. Men are not trying to have casual sex. 95% of men are being disqualified from any kind of relationship with a non obese chick & that’s really the crux of this. Nobody wants a zoo animal & the women need to hear this & so something about it or they will be alone until their fat lives in their 60s.

thedarkracer · 2024-06-11T17:57:46+00:00

It is unfair bcz they lie. The lie that being good and having a personality matters but it doesn't. So in a way, they give false hope that we can be equal to Chads with a 100 percent guarantee (even RP doesn't give 100 percent guarantee) and then they take it away from us like the villain Hunter Zolomon used to do with citizens of earth 2 in the season 2 of flash. That is deranged behaviour tbh giving hope, making them feel good and then hitting them with reality.

P.S. This answer is based on the reality of 80/20 rule only. The actual number of women (even if majority) who fuck only top 20 is not calculated so it could be vastly different. Plus, a lot of men get married to virgins unless they don't off themselves first.

MakeMoneyNotWar · 2024-06-11T19:45:14+00:00

RP never claimed that it should be fair. It just is. So what are you going to do about it? What you don’t do is bury your head in the sand and pretend that if only you’re a good upstanding person things will turn around for you. Or pay some woman’s bills it will change. Nope.

TRP says, here’s what you need to do to get into that top %.

MGTOW says it’s not worth the effort so don’t bother.

PB bros say to move to another country and you will be in the top %.

Black pill says it’s not based on anything you can change so don’t bother.

ArmariumEspata · 2024-06-11T20:04:16+00:00

“Everything men do is for sex.”

Do I really need to point out to you the stupidity of this statement?

abaxeron · 2024-06-11T18:22:43+00:00

What's unfair about casual sex only being available for the top 20% of men

Nothing.

But a lot of men are pissy about this

No.

and want women to engage in casual sex with them anyway out of pure entitlement.

No.

We want women whose meters have crossed three digits by the age of 30 to stop expecting us to treat them like 20-yo virgins just because they switched into a baby rabies phase.

After the 50 mark, she should stop expecting $10k+ ring of gold with diamond and prepare herself to kiss the toes of whoever offers her a smooth silver hoop.

Everything men do is for sex.

No.

So a man getting casual sex is a very rewarding but what is the woman in this situation getting in exchange...well she gets to sleep with an unattractive male which is the opposite of rewarding.

Orgasm for orgasm quite nicely fits the definition of equal exchange.

wtknight · 2024-06-11T18:48:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

FreitasAlan · 2024-06-11T19:51:47+00:00

What’s unfair is not the sex. It’s blaming the other 80% of men for the benefits and problems the 20% are having and causing. Also not fair when the bottom 80% of women later in life are looking for something serious and look for one of the men also in the bottom 80% and pretend to have another personality, that’s not how things used to work for you so he doesn’t notice he’s being betabux.

Willing-Chapter-7382 · 2024-06-11T21:29:01+00:00

"Men put a lot of value in sex. Everything men do is for sex." says who? the only people I've seen who are obsessed with sex are either young/immature, don't have much experience, or are just plain BPD, regardless of gender.

his_purple_majesty · 2024-06-11T22:00:06+00:00

uh, the literal definition of unfair

JohnGoodman_69 · 2024-06-11T22:41:40+00:00

for a woman to casually hook up with an unattractive man because it would only benefit him.

Sex is a mutual exchange. The woman is still getting sex in exchange for sex.

But a lot of men are pissy about this and want women to engage in casual sex with them anyway out of pure entitlement.

Is it pure entitlement when women push for any of the things they want that men have or is that equality and feminism?

what is the woman in this situation getting in exchange

she's getting sex, the same thing she is giving.

So taking these facts into consideration I don't believe there's anything "unfair" about who women choose to have casual relationships with.

Does that mean we can discriminate against women for what jobs we give them or what positions in an organization we allow them to hold?

lolthankstinder · 2024-06-11T23:51:47+00:00

I am an 80 percenter. Growing up I could only get attention from desirable women if there was a promise of a relationship involved. So, instead of just being able to explore in a casual, non-committal manner, I had to just go balls to the walls from relationship to relationship like “is this the one?” “Nope”. “Is this the one?” “Nope”. “Is this the one?” “Nope”. It would’ve been SO much easier and nicer for everyone if I could just casually explore with the same women that would only consider me for a relationship. I would’ve known what I wanted much much earlier with far less broken hearts.

I got my first FWB at 25 and it really matured me. I was very attracted to her and fell for her and it hurt when the casual fun abruptly ended and I started to value commitment a lot more. If only I had that experience alongside all the women in college rather than years later.

So, based on my experiences, I would say everything is too fair. Many women eventually pay the price for the negative externalities they create.

MC-Purp · 2024-06-12T02:19:35+00:00

Although I definitely disagree that everything men do is for sex, Im a firm believer in the 80/20 rule.

I don’t think it’s unfair at all. Women shouldn’t sleep with anyone they don’t want to. If men don’t want to deal with that level of competition, and I don’t blame them, there are alternatives available.

NiceGuy_4eva · 2024-06-12T04:45:06+00:00

Nothing's wrong with it. It's just something to adapt to.

If you're not in her top 20%, don't pursue further.

Or

If she wouldn't have casual sex with you, she's not worth it.

not_mr_nice · 2024-06-11T18:15:37+00:00

I agree that there is a Pareto Principle. But not that its as set in stone as this sub makes out.

At any social place, yeah probably only 20% of the guys at any one time, are attractive. But part of that is knowing where you stand out and asking yourself how you stand out.

It is neither fair nor unfair, it is just the way it is. Most guys (80%) would rather do nothing than face ambiguity. Sure they swipe on apps, so they can tell themselves they are "making an effort", then they tell themselves they are "nice" by not approaching women as they are too cowardly to approach and cannot emotionally handle rejection. But so what...... how the hell will a woman notice them, how will they stand out from the crowd. They won't.

So if this is 80% of the population, well its not hard to be part of the 20% that does stand out.

BCRE8TVE · 2024-06-11T23:32:57+00:00

In this thread:

Women: What's so frustrating about a blatantly unfair situation that benefits women at the expense of men?

Men: Well, a blatantly unfair situation that benefits women at the expense of men is pretty frustrating yeah

Women: OMG sexist you're not entitled to women's bodies what is wrong with men why are you all so horrible!

And then women wonder why men won't open up more about their thoughts and feelings.

Proudvow · 2024-06-11T21:38:39+00:00

It becomes unfair when she asks another guy to commit to her and wait for sex.

A man should not marry any woman who treats him worse than a random hookup.

reignoferror00 · 2024-06-11T19:24:38+00:00

Fair? Life is far from fair. Fair is just a word very close in the dictionary, and in real life, to fairy tale.

Another problem with the 80/20 reasoning is that if every guy improved a lot at the same time most would still be in that 80%.

Being attracted to only men that are straight out of a Hallmark movie in looks and money is equivalent to men only being attracted to some super unrealistic looking and acting anime girl. You want to only be attracted to what your basest instinctual mind wants (and what society at large pushes you toward) you do you. Your attraction isn't set in stone from day one. If you only are attracted to men that immediately fit your fantasy script in your head, haven't grown mentally/emotionally at all since a young teen, just keep on chasing those dopamine hits with some online attention whoring in between to fill the gaps.

Sex with an "unattractive male" won't get you your in women friend group approval or status or bragging rights. He might though actually WANT to have sex with you more than once and be interested in finding things that please you (though after that for a while, you may have to directly use your word to get rid of him if that is your inclination). You also won't be competing with every other women in the room for his attention (you like the challenge and the thrill of the chase?). Just too bad that many men can find things physically and otherwise that they might find attractive in "unattractive females", while many women seem to actively look for any flaws to dismiss men.

As far as men only wanting sex, you're missing that sex for many men is often much more than "getting your dick wet". For many it is one the rare times they get any touch or any intimacy. There is also a woman showing she is physically interested in you enough to have sex (or even things considered foreplay) is rare.

"Unattractive males" can get casual sex; the problem how long it takes and how much rejection you face before you hit the right place at the right time for a woman (especially if your doing it cold without much in the way of acquaintances/social groups). When younger I for a period of time hit the bars on the weekends. I've had casual sex with around a dozen or so women (plus only 3 relationships, starting in my later 20's), but when you do it as a percentage of the times I went out it is very small. Young, dumb and full of cum you'll put up with a lot of nothing for all too long.

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tonicKC · 2024-06-11T20:09:06+00:00

I mean “unfair” is a subjective standard…but ask yourself if you could apply the same indifference toward any other demographic of people : was segregation in the southern US “unfair”…if white people just didn’t feel like sharing bathrooms or drinking fountains or restaurants with black people? Isn’t that also a freedom of association issue?

Is is “unfair” if the vast majority of female models are skinny or borderline anorexic and also mostly white? Maybe the world just doesn’t like fat women of color…. Everyone is entitled to their own preferences but I think most people realize that our preferences can be culturally influenced and there pervasive attitudes that are held at an individual level but still negatively affect society. I don’t think I’m entitled to anyone choosing me…but then I think the flip side is that you can’t complain when bitter men demonize women who hit the wall in their 30s and the guys they rejected don’t want to settle down with them. Or when men also treat it like a game and want to manipulate women or treat relationships as transactional. We are all free and also free to smoke inhumane decisions that cause others suffering.

Abandons65 · 2024-06-11T21:37:56+00:00

Well obviously they’re gonna be mad about that and not want the women who are getting used by and sleeping w the top 20% and then they desperately crave that for the rest of their lives when they are 5’s max (that’s why)

Bro_with_passport · 2024-06-11T21:50:49+00:00

As far as I’m aware, no men are saying that it’s unfair. I do think though that the casualness of sex in our culture is something worthy of criticism, and many people conflate those two things as one and the same.

_sikandar · 2024-06-11T22:11:51+00:00

Why would it stop at casual sex? If it's a chore, why would you get into a relationship with a guy who makes your skin crawl at the thought of fucking him?

shadowrangerfs · 2024-06-12T00:00:44+00:00

No one ever said it was unfair.

Alfred-Adler · 2024-06-12T02:57:16+00:00

I believe in the 80/20 rules.

It's not a matter of fairness, it's just the way it is. The 80/20 rules applies to most everything in life. Amazon's 80% of sales comes from 20% of their products.

If you compile a list of everything you have ever charged on your credit cards, 80% of the $ was charged on 20% of the transactions.

xxxMisogenes · 2024-06-12T05:56:37+00:00

Most the men are merely economically unattractive because bs DEI/EEO initiatives that overpay women that underdeliver. We fix women's wage market place over pricing and a lot more men that are women's looksmatch would have families and kids

Salt_Alternative_86 · 2024-06-11T21:50:06+00:00

Fair isn't the issue. We're not saying you can't spend your best years getting pumped and dumped by pump and dump chumps, just that we're not interested sitting around waiting for you so we can pick up the leftover mess just so you can settle for a backup retirement plan. By all means, you do you... Just don't expect to do it with us after.

SKY_ACTIV3 · 2024-06-11T19:33:52+00:00

Life in general is extremely unfair, it’s just very telling that these ideas remain taboo.

If you truly believe what you say in the OP then you ought to start speaking up when other people deny it on this very subreddit, or at least accept being seen as dishonest.

Title	Q4men who believe in the 80/20 rule: What's unfair about casual sex only being available for the top 20% of men
Author	iliyb
Upvotes	34
Comments	460
Date	June 11, 2024 5:38 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ddk23j/q4men_who_believe_in_the_8020_rule_whats_unfair/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4men-who-believe-in-the-8020-rule-whats-unfair.1521260 https://theredarchive.com/post/1521260

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