Do you expect to date a person with your political beliefs?

M3taBuster · 2024-11-11T15:12:42+00:00

Yes, I do. I don't care how rare it is. I'd rather be alone than be with someone who doesn't share my values.

leosandlattes · 2024-11-11T14:39:34+00:00

I am a Zillennial, right on the cusp between the 2 generations. Yes, I have always expected to date someone with my political beliefs and I have never compromised on this ever in my life. But I’m also lucky that there are a lot of options to choose from where I am.

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-11-11T14:49:17+00:00

Broadly speaking - I wouldn’t necessarily expect to date someone that has the exact same political outlook as me, but if we we’re diametrically opposed on certain issues, there wouldn’t be much point

Brian_of-Nazareth · 2024-11-11T15:28:17+00:00

I think it's reasonable to want a partner who's sort of in the same ball park, but not necessarily spot on except possibly on a crucial issue here or there. If you get a communist together with a staunch reactionary conservative, you're asking for trouble. Most reasonable people can deal with reasonable people on the other side.

Khidorahian · 2024-11-11T15:57:47+00:00

Yes, as someone who leans centre left.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2024-11-11T15:49:10+00:00

I don’t need someone to share every political opinion I have, but the fundamental stuff needs to align. I believe society has a duty to take care of its people. There’s a reason that the Nordic countries, despite the insanely high taxes, are the happiest in the world. I could not date someone who thinks gas prices are more important than their neighbors

Gravel_Roads · 2024-11-11T15:34:25+00:00

Gen Z and millennial men are slowly becoming more conservative while women are becoming more progressive.

Not really, I think it's still roughly 50/50 (or well... 45/55 either way according to first google result). Millions of women voted for Trump. Millions of men voted for Kamala.

"I'd never date a feminist" or "I'd never date a liberal". Which is whacky to me because finding a young conservative woman is pretty damn rare.

Depends on where you are. I work in a big city, but live in a smaller rural town an hours drive away from the city. More liberals in the city, but far MORE conservatives in the small town. I can't even tell my barber that I work in social services, because they immediately start yelling about how I'm helping "addicts".

Conservatives literaly won the popular vote - there's LOTS in the country.

would you settle for someone who had opposing beliefs to you?

I'm not single, but no, my beliefs are pretty important and I would have a hard time sharing a life with someone who didn't support them.

AntonioSLodico · 2024-11-11T17:37:21+00:00

This whole discussion is wild to me. A good chunk of this sub is people bemoaning how men or women pick partners off superficial traits.

Now in this post, people are admitting to filtering for compatible belief systems and apparently that is a problem as well?

toasterchild · 2024-11-11T15:27:48+00:00

Where I live I would expect to eventually meet that person plus it is sorta fun to turn men down based on political views. It very very quickly goes from "i think we would have so much in common" to calling me names and telling me i am the dumbest thing ever.

Makuta_Servaela · 2024-11-11T14:57:22+00:00

There are absolutely people of my political beliefs out there. I do know that the more things I tack on, the more my available partners whittle down, but I also know that I am a person with these beliefs, so being a person with these beliefs is not impossible, and I go out to social things and put myself out there, so it's not impossible to be someone who has my beliefs and puts themselves out there.

EulenWatcher · 2024-11-11T15:29:41+00:00

Not single, so not your target audience. I did expect to date someone with compatible views and values. That translated well into compatible political beliefs as well. My husband and I don’t have the same opinion on each and every issue, but our core values are aligned and we agree on things that matter the most to us.

People who think political beliefs don’t matter much fail to realize that these beliefs reflect one’s core values and they often do have practical outcomes. An extreme example here is the Russian-Ukrainian war. A lot of people had a miserable surprise when they realized that their spouse and they have different views on it. For some it meant that they ended up divorcing, because you can’t be against the war and be supportive towards your spouse who wants to enlist or who sends money to help the army etc.

beautyloser · 2024-11-11T14:56:17+00:00

do you think that person (man) is out there

Yes

do you expect to meet them

Yes, I’m pretty confident given my life circumstances and location

would you settle

No. Not for political beliefs, not for looks, not for anything. Settling is accepting the death of your relationship before it even begins and I’m in no rush to find my person

Individual_Speech_10 · 2024-11-11T15:24:28+00:00

I wouldn't ever date someone who was pro-life, anti-LGBT rights (don't really care about opinions on stuff like trans people in sports or bathrooms, it has zero bearing on my life), or practicing religious. Mostly because this stuff could tangibly affect the relationship: Abortion is self explanatory. I have LGBT friends so if they hated them it wouldn't be a runner. And my family is not religious, and I would refuse to get married in a church, baptise my children, or have my children make sacraments, which would likely be a dealbreaker for a religious person.

I wouldn't date a Fascist, a Stalinist or a Maoist.

Beyond that, it would mostly come down to their willingness to let me have my own opinions. If they were super ideological and unable to have polite disagreements, it wouldn't work, which probably disqualifies most far-right and far-left people.

That said, as it happens, my girlfriend is self-described feminist, pro-choice, pro-LGBT rights, agnostic and pretty similar politically to me (centre-left). She's maybe a bit more economically conservative than I am, but not majorly, and maybe a bit less decidedly atheist, but still nowhere near religiously inclined. I think similar people tend to end up with similar people.

Every woman I've dated has considered themselves feminist. Never really been any issue.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-11-11T15:04:42+00:00

Reddit bubble moment.

Do you expect to meet a person who shares your political beliefs?

Easily, there are few to zero conservative religious conspiracy theorists in my sphere.

Do you think that person is out there?

Millions.

And would you settle for someone who had opposing beliefs to you?

Never.

2024-11-11T15:29:07+00:00

I hope to date someone with compatible values. US politics are a mess, and only a fraction of the population even understands what's happening. So long as the woman I'm with has broadly similar commitments then there's not much more I can ask for, personally.

Looking for a carbon copy of myself just seems unreasonable. Why go to the effort of finding a partner just to look for someone who repeats everything you already think back to you. I want compliment and contrast.

Feisty-Saturn · 2024-11-11T15:39:58+00:00

I think I would struggle to date a full blown liberal. I would say I fall in the center politically and I think most people do, so liberal vs conservative is not the only options out there to date.

I have views that are not conservative, I’m pro choice. My man is pro life. We get along just fine.

I think I also lean towards gun control. I would not date any man passionate about guns, no matter their political affiliation.

I believe people should marry who they want.

I probably lean right on most other topics aside from those.

ImaginaryDimension74 · 2024-11-11T15:21:22+00:00

1, Something doesn’t have to be a majority to be easy to find. Carrots represent an incredibly small fraction of foods, but it doesn’t mean I can’t easily go buy carrots if I want. Conservative women may not be a majority, but that doesn’t mean they are rare or hard to find, they’re not.

2. For me it’s not so much about political party affiliation but extremism and how strongly they feel about certain views. I could never date a man-hating feminist. Hopefully they’ll all go 4B which would save a lot of screening effort.

shadowrangerfs · 2024-11-11T15:31:02+00:00

Yes and it won't be hard. There are plenty of liberal and conservative people of every age group to go around.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2024-11-11T15:51:30+00:00

Yes

I ain't super strict,but everything to the right of left wing of social Democracy (not blairites) its a no no. If they are close/have same beliefs as me is obviously better.

attendquoi · 2024-11-11T15:51:43+00:00

Yes, and I married him. Political beliefs signal personal values.

2024-11-11T16:07:51+00:00

Yes! I can't date a man who wants to limit my rights and thinks my body belongs to the govt.

mlo9109 · 2024-11-11T15:12:58+00:00

Not necessarily... I'm a moderate woman. I am in the fun limbo zone of being too conservative for the liberals and too conservative for the liberals. I just want someone who doesn't make their politics their whole damn personality or at least isn't a dick about it.

fredwester · 2024-11-11T14:44:43+00:00

I'm not single, but I was at one point. Obviously. So I'll answer looking back on my attitude during those times:

Political beliefs were not a main factor in how I chose partners. As long as someone is not an extremist either way, it'll be fine. I don't have any political extremists in my life, and I only really see them online anyway. So it didn't make much of an impact when dating IRL.

Most people are in the broad spectrum of centre-right to centre-left. That's fine for me.

I don't need partners or friends to agree with me on every little thing. I'm not dogmatic that way. And I don't like people who are.

(I am an elder millennial. I am centre-right with an emphasis on centre, my wife is centre-left with an emphasis on centre.)

King_conscience · 2024-11-11T14:54:35+00:00

Different political views ain't much of a problem for me

It's only when they make it their entire personality

2024-11-11T15:21:15+00:00

No, I just chronically can’t respect other people’s belief systems if it does not align with mine.

Savings-Bee-4993 · 2024-11-11T15:22:02+00:00

No, I don’t really care that much.

What I really care about is whether she has the same underlying values and lives her life by ethical principles.

If she’s not willing to discuss political issues open-mindedly, then I would drop her though. I’m not going to date someone who is arrogant, closed-minded, ideologically possessed, and/or deceitful.

My current partner doesn’t share all of my political beliefs, but she’s gotten closer to me politically as we’ve dated — and she doesn’t seem possessed. I’ll doubt I’d ever find someone with my same set of beliefs.

JollyRoger66689 · 2024-11-11T15:32:13+00:00

Never even knew what my exe's political beliefs were.

Place I love was about 50/50 so if I wanted to I think I could

DumbWordsmith · 2024-11-11T15:37:03+00:00

Somewhat. They just need to be within a reasonable window. A human being is a lot more than their current political beliefs.

Based on experience, dealing with politics is the least difficult part; most women who are compatible with me have similar core values and are at least open-minded enough to consider the world outside of the mainstream far-left bubble. Also, I've found that having in-depth, respectful convos with my partner tends to move them toward me politically, for whatever reason.

I live in a conservative area anyway. I have plenty of concerns, but this isn't even close to being one of them.

nsfwthrowaway6996 · 2024-11-11T16:05:33+00:00

Single Millennial here, I used to think it was possible to date people of other political groups. But as I've gotten older, I don't want to deal with the differences anymore. It just makes life a little easier when someone is in the same political thinking.

I understand it will shrink the dating pool for me. I won't date someone from a conservative religious standpoint or a feminist one. I'm not an "enlightened centralist". I just don't want to have to live by a 2000 old book and I grew up in a feminist household. I refuse to lie and be lied too about gender equality though the lens of feminism.

I'm perfectly fine being single. Getting old as a single male doesn't scare me. Old enough to know that it's better to be single than a miserable couple. I've seen and experienced that enough to learn that lesson.

wtknight · 2024-11-11T16:07:54+00:00

I expect that. I don't want to spend my relationship constantly getting into political arguments.

Fan_Service_3703 · 2024-11-11T16:44:30+00:00

My political views are all over the place, so it would be more of a problem getting my views to agree with someone else.

I'm economically on the extreme left, worker's rights and worker ownership and all that jazz. I am firmly pro gay rights, pro trans rights, and firmly of the view that people should be allowed to act, dress and present themselves however they see fit (so long as it isn't harming anyone else), and that men and women should be equal before the law and should not be denied anything on the basis of their gender. That would exclude me from most conservative/right wing women's shortlists.

I am also of the belief that women in the Western World are the most privileged demographic in the history of the human race. I'm all for women having the same opportunities as men but I don't believe in "The Future is Female". Obviously class is still the biggest divider. A middle class and above man is going to do better, than a working class woman, but all other things equalised, you're much better off being born a woman in the West than a man. That opinion would get me blacklisted by most women who identify as feminist.

I'm an ex-muslim and am virulently anti-Islam. But equally I have nuance on the issue. I know there is a difference between hating Islam and hating Muslims. Disliking the religion doesn't mean I condone the genocide currently taking place for example. But criticising Islam would get me in trouble from many (self identifying) "left wing" people who will defend this reactionary right wing ideology to the death.

Fortunately my girlfriend is fairly apolitical and hasn't voted for many years, and like me her political opinions are all over the place.

purplish_possum · 2024-11-11T17:18:53+00:00

Yes, of course. WTF would I want to spend time with a wack job Trump supporter?

Fun_Breakfast697 · 2024-11-11T20:15:10+00:00

Millennial leftist, live in a place where not dating socialists would probably be harder than dating them exclusively. I don't need someone to share every exact belief but it's gotta be pretty close. Last time I compromised and dated a left-leaning lib I turned him and by the end he was mad at me for not being leftist enough. New convert energy is real! My fiancé and I are very well-aligned.

Similarity of religious beliefs and drinking habits are two big predictors for a marriage lasting, because they are synecdoches for values and lifestyle. Of all things to prioritize, politics is probably one of the smarter ones.

MachineMan718 · 2024-11-11T21:44:20+00:00

My political beliefs are fringe and esoteric. If she’s into that, she’s either an assassin from the future, or a succubus after my vital essence.

TidyMess24 · 2024-11-11T14:54:29+00:00

Before I met my Mr. Right - it depends on the political beliefs.

Differences in opinion on import taxation of non-food agricultural products? nah, I won’t sweat it.

Differences in opinion on the ideal zoning and street construction in livable communities? Ehh, it’s going to depend, if he’s open to living in a mixed-use zoning area and the like it should be alright, but if he’s going to be insistent on living in suburban sprawl type areas that aren’t walkable and won’t consider anything else, I’d have to move on.

Saying that my friends shouldn’t be allowed to marry the people they love, that I shouldn’t have rights to my own bodily autonomy, and that I shouldn’t get equal pay for equal work, hard pass right there.

AutoModerator · 2024-11-11T14:12:19+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

RecentDegree7990 · 2024-11-11T15:19:18+00:00

Yes, why would I want to date someone whom I view as evil

VojakOne · 2024-11-11T15:19:39+00:00

I don't expect to date someone with identical beliefs on everything.

But my core beliefs? Absolutely. If you do choose someone who doesn't align with you in the core beliefs department, you're going to have trouble down the road.

GrandpaDallas · 2024-11-11T15:20:41+00:00

Yes.

I will not date someone who diverts from key issues I support, so I have no expectation that I will ever date a conservative woman. Even if I'm struggling, I will not settle for less.

If you're single, do you expect to meet a person who shares your political beliefs? Do you think that person is out there?

No doubt about it. I meet very few conservative women, and the ones I've met are women I wouldn't really be that interested in anyway. Even attractive conservative women I've met do not match with me on a personal level.

StunningSort3082 · 2024-11-11T15:23:30+00:00

The last year of millennials (1994) are all turning 30 this year, so at least in my friend group there are very few single millennials left. And there aren’t any young millennials anymore lol

I didn’t really date in undergrad, but I felt like I met plenty of college-aged men with similar political beliefs. They became fewer as I moved through law school and grad school, but I stood out as a welcome alternative to all the raging feminists in the programs.

Being hot and conservative in grad school is a pretty good way to also get your Mrs. at the same time

uglysaladisugly · 2024-11-11T15:33:02+00:00

Yes I do, also, I don't plan on dating again, as I want my boyfriend to stay my partner for life and he shares my political beliefs.

thisaccountaintrea1 · 2024-11-11T15:43:39+00:00

They don’t need to share all my political views, but there’s some core values I won’t compromise on. I’d be fine with any woman to left of the center and to the right of the tankies.

Sholnufff · 2024-11-11T18:34:57+00:00

Absolutely.

My last ex and the current lady I'm with...by date 3, we had the politics discussion.

SquirrelofLIL · 2024-11-11T22:07:30+00:00

No, I don't care. I'm a Xennial and idgaf how they vote. Most guys who would date me are far, far to the left of where I am anyway because I'm a post wall mentally ill female.

griz3lda · 2024-11-11T22:47:18+00:00

Nah. I'm more of a conservative and my partner is a communist. We balance eachother out and even run an intentional community together. What I need is for them to respect that I believe what I believe bc I genuinely think it's the best way, not bc I'm stupid or contrarian or mean. Then I'm happy to talk or debate if they want, but it must start w assumption of mutual good faith.

one_ball_policy · 2024-11-11T23:39:41+00:00

As a person of color, dating a conservative is kinda out of the question for me. Both whites and POC who are conservative tend to not be too fond of POC (statistically speaking, don’t shoot the messenger). So I’m most likely going to end up with a liberal. Works out well because I am one to, but wouldn’t be super against a non-lib

kvakerok_v2 · 2024-11-12T06:06:50+00:00

lolNo, mostly because my position is too nuanced. I expect the person to be informed and have put some thought into as to why they hold the position they do, that's the sole requirement.

Bd-cat · 2024-11-11T16:09:54+00:00

The gender disparity in the republican and democratic voting groups isn’t too big. When you look at it by age range, there are some brackets where there are way more men or women voting for a certain party, but overall it was 55% men republican and 53% women democrat. That’s not too crazy a difference and an incredibly small amount to argue that political preferences are gender coded.

While I personally am more leftist, I don’t identify as republican or democrat because those parties largely don’t operate based on the things I believe in and the way they operate is often very different than the lip service they offer. There is a lot of nuance to political beliefs once you go beyond “democrat vs republican”.

I wouldn’t mind someone who has different political opinions than myself, as long as to an extent, he’s aligned with me on certain values and we have similar beliefs on what impacts society negatively or positively.

A trumper or someone who currently votes republican may not have that compatibility with me, but being for Kamala/dem may not either. It really depends.

I don’t want someone who thinks like me, I want someone who complements me and who I can complement. That can happen in all sorts of ways. But I will not settle for someone who has a disregard for policies that endanger me and others. There’s a lot of room for lots of political preferences in that.

DankuTwo · 2024-11-11T17:03:41+00:00

I'm a socialist and work in a strongly left-wing industry/environment. The likelihood of me meeting someone left wing is very, very high.

However, that is not the real test. I would describe myself as 'heterodox', so I do hold some blasphemous beliefs. Finding a partner who would agree, or at least tolerate, said beliefs is MUCH more difficult.

Clementinequeen95 · 2024-11-11T17:37:57+00:00

Yes I would never date a conservative or trump supporter. Our values don’t align. I’m fine being single and having this as a standard.

Teflon08191 · 2024-11-11T14:58:30+00:00

Don't care about a woman's political persuasion so long as she isn't an ideologue about it.

Werevulvi · 2024-11-11T16:23:50+00:00

While I wouldn't call myself conservative, I'm not a feminist either, and I fall somewhere around the libertarian side of things, and I'd loosely say I'm centrist (although by my country's standards I'd be considered way more conservative than by American standards) so it's not hard for me to find men who have a very similar view on politics as me. But that said I am open to dating men who are more conservative than me, as well as men who are more liberal than me, as long as he isn't far into either extreme, or an actual extremist who can't "agree to disagree" to save his life. I don't like arguing politics and I don't really care about what a partner votes for, but one thing I can't stand is people who feel a need to be right all the time, or keep trying to change other people's minds.

I have some political dealbreakers, like don't be an (actual) nazi, and don't be against women having a right to vote, for example, but barring those kinda extremes, I really don't care if we disagree on whether women should certain specific jobs or not, or how much of an issue immigration is, or whatever. Like as long as we have at least fairly similar core values, I'm not the kinda woman who takes jokes as a reflection of actual opinions, and I'm not gonna make a big deal out of it if we don't vote for the same political party. Fyi I do vote right wing nowadays, but that may change in the future. I don't have any close affiliation with any specific party. It's more like I try to toss my vote at the least abhorrent one.

So I'd say I'm fairly open to dating men with differing political views, but I also realize that me being a centrist probably has a lot to do with that. Because that means I by default both agree and disagree with both the left and the right on different issues, so I can get along with both sides. I've had much more issue with people of differing views hating on me for my views when I had zero issue with their.

So political attitude can be an issue, but not really opinions... to an extent. Like I don't think I'd be compatible with a guy who's extremely conservative, considering I have tattoos, wear short skirts, have gay friends, etc, but a moderately conservative guy might likely find that there's at least a handful of opinions we'd have in common, and if he'd be fine with disagreeing on some other things I'd be fine with it too. Also I'm not really super invested in politics altogether these days. I don't even watch/read the news. I just read up on it a little bit right before election day (and get into gender related debates like on this sub) but that's all.

But I'm also not generally very open about my political opinions wuth my friends and family because they're all quite a bit more leftist than me and I wanna avoid the drama. So fir that reason I'd probably feel kinda relieved if I did find and connect with a guy who's more on the conservative side and not a feminist, because then maybe I'd feel safer around him with being more open about my views. I'm so frustrated with walking on egg shells around my feminist friends and family that whenever I find a fellow anti-feminist it's like I start gushing about how frustrated I am with feminism because it's just such a relief to not be dogpiled for my views for once.

So I might be a bit more drawn to conservative men for that reason, but of course it's hard to find them because of how I dress. I look like a feminist liberal and I know it. So I don't blame the men for assuming that's what I am, but still... shit gets lonely sometimes. And yeah, I've been trying to dress more conservative but I guess I'm just not the white blouse and loose pants kinda woman. Still not against dating more liberal/leftist men though, but yeah, that's the difference between a preference and a dealbreaker, I suppose.

Anti_Thing · 2024-11-11T16:25:08+00:00

I'm unlikely to find someone with broadly the same political views as me in my area. People who I align with politically tend to be male, old, married, lack formal higher education, or live in different areas than me, so I'm unlikely to hit it off with a woman who shares my politics unless I meet her far from home. I'm open to dating someone who's on the other side but not too extreme, though I'm skeptical.

G4M35 · 2024-11-11T16:37:09+00:00

Yes, and these are my political beliefs:

I have my philosophical beliefs that drive my political and socio-economic tendencies, and I vote to the best candidates within the choices that I have, not blindly following my political philosophy.

I can talk intelligently with other intelligent people who might have opposite philosophical political difference then mine, I am very interested in what they have to say, and I am not interested in silencing them and showing my own belief down their throat and telling them they are stupid. And I expect the same from them.

If they are just mouthpieces of their political affiliation, vomiting the soundbytes that they are fed, without any critical thinking and no understanding of what exactly they are saying, with the attitude: if you're not with me you're my enemy... then no, I am not interested in them, not because of political differences, but because they are stupid AF.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2024-11-11T16:40:55+00:00

Yeah political beliefs belong to the non-negociables, even if it mean there will be a separation between men and women. But yeah, it's better to be single in this case

cestbondaeggi · 2024-11-11T16:45:43+00:00

No. My beliefs are too fringe and women with fringe beliefs are generally ugly.

RikardoShillyShally · 2024-11-11T16:47:33+00:00

I don't fall in either of the 'wings'. Unless someone is a nutjob, I am comfortable with either side. Feminist or Christian woman doesn't matter as long she doesn't shove it down my throat.

Tywinlol2 · 2024-11-11T16:47:56+00:00

Most people are bigger then their politics. Well until they prove otherwise at least.

hearyoume14 · 2024-11-11T16:49:24+00:00

I was raised by an old school moderate Democrat dad and more apolitical leaning old school moderate republican mom so that worked for my parents.

I wouldn’t date a leftist or the opposite as a dirty centrist. Granted I know people on both extremes think I am a leftist or far-right because I’m not on their side. Political tests put me right in the middle.

I think if one is more apolitical, centrist, moderate, or otherwise then you have more leeway.

medicinal_bulgogi · 2024-11-11T16:49:34+00:00

More than half of white women voted for Trump.

spiderjuese · 2024-11-11T16:58:21+00:00

I would never ever settle for a person who does not share my political views.

2024-11-11T17:00:45+00:00

I’ll be celibate unless I do.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2024-11-11T17:16:51+00:00

i'm not interested in (seriously) dating either extreme. no wokies who make feminism their personality and no religious trad women. other than that i don't really care too much about their exact political affiliation. the values i'm looking for are not exclusive to any part of the political spectrum as long as they're not on either end of it.

2024-11-11T17:27:18+00:00

>If you're single, do you expect to meet a person who shares your political beliefs?

No not really

>Do you think that person is out there?

Sure but I don't expect to meet them

>And would you settle for someone who had opposing beliefs to you?

I wouldn't call it settling since I wouldn't care if we didn't share political beliefs

Cardboard_Robot_ · 2024-11-11T17:28:31+00:00

I couldn’t date someone who doesn’t share my values. As a left leaning straight man in a blue state this was an easy feat.

DellOptiplex7080 · 2024-11-11T17:29:16+00:00

under no circumstances would I ever date a conservative woman

StrugglingSoprano · 2024-11-11T17:30:24+00:00

A few beliefs are nonnegotiable but I’m somewhat flexible. Opposing beliefs is a no go but we don’t have to agree on everything

r2k398 · 2024-11-11T17:48:04+00:00

Date? No. Marry? Yes.

If I was single of course.

serpensmercurialis · 2024-11-11T18:19:03+00:00

Political beliefs? Maybe, maybe not. Values? I will only date someone with similar values and I will not compromise on that.

youarenumber2 · 2024-11-11T18:40:42+00:00

"Social politics" is code for worldview, and it would be very difficult to be in a serious, long term relationship with someone who has an opposing worldview to yours.

How would you form a family with someone who had opposite beliefs about family planning? How do you chase success while married to someone whose idea of success is opposite to yours? What community will you be a part of if you and your partner both think the other one's community is damaging society?

The good news is that, generally, conservatives and liberals tend to live in the same places. If you live in a rural place and you didn't go to college, the people around you are probably conservative regardless of gender.

Zabadoodude · 2024-11-11T18:42:48+00:00

It's important for me to be with someone that shares my values. Specific political beliefs are less important.

My gf and I both lean left on social issues, but think that having an economic system that makes most people in our country more prosperous is more important, unless there are serious human rights violations at stake. I believe that overregulation and overtaxation are issues that make everyone poorer, while she supports more socialist government intervention. We disagree on how to attain the goals we both share, but have the same values.

Also not being in the US makes this easier as there's consensus on the most hotly contested American political issues. In my country all parties agree on strict laws on illegal immigration, socialized healthcare, legalized abortion, and strict gun laws.

pop442 · 2024-11-11T19:18:40+00:00

I'm a Centrist so I'm cool with a moderate Liberal or moderate Conservative woman.

Now, if that same woman is a full blown Radfem Liberal or a full blown MAGA worshipper, I'm out.

LoopyPro · 2024-11-11T19:39:27+00:00

You can have different ideologies but still have enough common ground.

Freevoulous · 2024-11-11T20:23:44+00:00

Im too libertarian to care, unless it affects our sexlife.

Goonerlouie · 2024-11-11T20:51:41+00:00

I would rather date someone who has no idea about politics (like my wife) than someone super strung up about politics - even if we were on the same side of things

2024-11-11T22:32:21+00:00

I have no problems with genuine right wingers or left wingers.

There is a new political class in town, disguised as Democrats although they display no traditional democratic or left wing values. Instead they hate humanity, do everything to make it's people poorer. Hate the family and think it's ok to tell young boys they are girls because they feel like it and help them dismember their genitals, generally supportive of paedophilia, hate the constitution, love a good war, hate their own nations history and doesn't like white folks too much. Kind of like a Satanism

No problems with genuine left or right wingers as both care about people in their own but different ways. But satanism I would not ever support or date anyone supporting it.

missmireya · 2024-11-11T22:51:01+00:00

If the man makes politics his whole entire existence: I won't even bother with him, no matter which side he's on.

I myself don't belong on either side. I have some conservative beliefs, and a few liberal beliefs. However, I skew more on the conservative side.

I think it's crazy that so many women here on Reddit are spewing your man hate, yet you would be perfectly ok sharing public restrooms with people born with penises. Make up your damn mind already.

LostWanderer88 · 2024-11-11T23:12:32+00:00

No, but as long as she is a good person and prioritizes real relationship before loyalty to the ideology, I'm fine with it

On the other hand, some people, probably women too, dislike that I'm too flexible with my beliefs and tolerances

Reasonable-Agent-278 · 2024-11-12T00:18:23+00:00

No that’s incredibly limiting and reduces the possibility of meeting someone you can have a relationship with.

If you cannot see a person as more than their political beliefs you probably should not be trying to have a relationship.

While politics can tell you about a per. They are only onf small part of yhet person .

Certainly a far left progressive woman is going to turn off the majority of men .

There’s a lot of evidence women prefer a more conservative man

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201812/feminists-think-sexist-men-are-sexier-woke-men

YveisGrey · 2024-11-12T00:19:26+00:00

Yerp me and my fiancé have similar views he’s a little bit further left than me but I would say we are both progressive and pretty liberal socially even though our relationship and plans for our family are more traditional

jdjsjajaj · 2024-11-12T00:23:54+00:00

I mean, as a trans person I am not going to date someone who doesn’t think I should exist.

Christian_Kong · 2024-11-12T00:28:57+00:00

Dating someone outside of your political beliefs is a recipe for disaster.

Back in the day things were a bit different but the modern republican is far right and modern democrat anywhere from centrist right to far left. So two democrats dating can have drastically different ideals. A democrat and a republican will not work at all since based on the media they consume, live in two different universes.

Which is whacky to me because finding a young conservative woman is pretty damn rare. Same goes for young progressive guys.

Young people, including men are overwhelmingly progressive.......but get less so as they head towards their 30's.

LeBandit916 · 2024-11-12T02:04:47+00:00

No and I don’t think it would be hard to get along with someone with opposing views as long as it’s not an extremist.

Excellent_Badger123 · 2024-11-12T02:05:59+00:00

Yes, it falls under moral code compatibility for me. I’ve never dated or partnered with a politically conservative man in my life.

flexible-photon · 2024-11-12T02:50:28+00:00

In the past it never much mattered to me. In the present I find Trump and his MAGA cult so detestable that I can't stand the thought of trusting my heart and mind to such low information detestable people.

Ready-Oil-1281 · 2024-11-12T03:08:48+00:00

If I ever did decide to date I think it would be impossible if i didn't agree with them.

bluehorserunning · 2024-11-12T03:36:50+00:00

I’m not single, but ‘not conservative’ was absolutely a criterion when I was dating.

trele_morele · 2024-11-12T07:20:24+00:00

In the end, after you run out of suitable candidates that match your ideology, ya’ll will date whoever’s willing to settle for you anyway.

GGMcThroway · 2024-11-12T10:33:41+00:00

I'm fine with differences that don't directly impact how I'm treated or the lifestyle I live.

Low-Cockroach7733 · 2024-11-12T11:42:03+00:00

Lots of women who voted for Trump this year were the same who were going on Pussyhat Kill all men rally back in 2016 when Trump last won. The only difference is those women got married to trad breadwinners guys who slowly converted them to his kind of conservative politics.

ThatGuyFromThisPlace · 2024-11-12T12:06:18+00:00

Assuming this comes from an American persepctive...

In general, Id say polticial beliefs aren't as important as values. Those are non-negotiable for me to a degree.

However, in the US, in a highly polarized society, political beliefs kinda point towards values - think abortion rights, immigration, etc. And I wouldn't be willing to compromise in that.

PhraseRound2743 · 2024-11-12T12:48:35+00:00

No.

Yes, but difficult.

Yes, if we can

settle aside our differences,
clearly and effectively communicate our viewpoints,
understand the other's differing positions and interests,
debate and converse difficult, contentious topics with the emotional intelligence of adults,
bond over other interests, be it TV shows, movies, sports, etc. (not making politics my/her entire identity)

I don't live in the US, so this issue is insignificant to me.

Sophiatab · 2024-11-12T17:04:16+00:00

Absolutely, I could not share my life with someone who didn't have the same core values.

Xeltar · 2024-11-13T03:07:04+00:00

Absolutely, I'm not sure how a relationship could work if we don't share core values.

fucknibbers14899 · 2024-11-13T13:45:21+00:00

Are you all 15?
There's no such as a woman with "beliefs", only what their last boyfriend believed in.

To be young and stupid and not understand women lol.

2024-11-13T17:41:56+00:00

I mean, people are struggling to date someone even within their own political belief system, so why cut your prospects even short by rejecting half the country

anthrovillain · 2024-11-13T18:43:21+00:00

No I'm an anarchist I don't like bootlickers and pig lovers otherwise I don't really care because their vote isn't going to matter anyway.

Equal_Connect · 2024-11-14T18:11:14+00:00

I mean my political beliefs are as centered as they get so i dont think ill even meet anyone who thinks the same way as me. I wouldnt call myself a leftist or right but i could get along with either or. Most leftists though probably wouldnt want to be associate with me after voting for trump.

Capable_Equipment700 · 2024-11-15T03:25:04+00:00

No but I wouldn’t date someone with different value system. For example, I take health very very serious. So I could never date someone who neglects their body.

burneraccountguydude · 2025-01-26T05:40:02+00:00

I find people become a lot less polarized when they actually enter a relationship they care about. I wouldn’t worry about it. Would I date someone with differing view… ahhh to a point.

mashedturnip · 2024-11-11T16:04:33+00:00

It really depends on what beliefs those are. I consider myself mostly in the middle to left leaning.

We can disagree on gun laws taxes.

I am pro-choice and would not date someone who is pro-life. I also would not date someone who is against affirmative action or teaching critical race theory in schools.

KentuckyCriedFlickin · 2024-11-11T17:46:43+00:00

I don't expect to date people with my political beliefs since I am more center, honestly.

As far as marriage goes, I expect that person to have similar political beliefs. I feel like this generation of young women will become more conservative as they get older fortunately.

Throwaway26702008 · 2024-11-11T15:46:46+00:00

I disagree men are becoming more conservative, I think “progressive” is just becoming less about improving society and more about prioritizing women over men.

It’s the same reason fathers of daughters are more likely to vote for women’s issues and mothers of sons are more likely to vote for mens issues.

Most men i know, and all of my friends are pro choice, pro lgbtqia+, anti extremism, etc. but they feel that feminism is constantly blaming men as a whole for issues that the majority of men aren’t responsible for.

bv0724 · 2024-11-11T15:58:52+00:00

Somewhat. I don’t like a right winger sheep, and I don’t like a left winger sheep. Finding an independent/moderate sure wasn’t easy, but I appreciate it every time we discuss politics. Fyi, there’s so many zillennial progressive guys. They are difficult to find at all. The real challenge was moderate with a libertarian streak.

Fresh_Truth_8569 · 2024-11-11T16:03:57+00:00

I and most of the guys I know just put up a front. The progressive women aren’t really going to make good partners long term anyway because their belief set seems to be a mental disease or cluster B personality trait. Plenty of them grow out of it, but fewer than before.

So if you want a real life partner you got just date the dipshits until you find someone decent.

I will say this… there is a reason people change. Like racists have a hard time staying racist if they are friends with the race they hate. Same thing goes for politics. Obsessive insane political beliefs are a sign of just being a really bad person or refusing to talk to people who don’t already agree with you. BOTH are very bad traits. Who wants to share a life with a woman like that?

Solondthewookiee · 2024-11-11T17:43:28+00:00

For the most part, yes. It doesn't have to be line on line, but it has to broadly be in the same direction.

I'm married, but if I was single, I would never date anyone who didn't vote for Harris (and Biden). It demonstrates such a vast canyon in world view that I don't think it could ever be bridged.

LapazGracie · 2024-11-11T15:09:30+00:00

Most men would prefer that she is not a crazy ass feminist.

But in reality if she is sufficiently hot they would suddenly stop caring. In fact many of them would pretend to be feminists.

It's rich people problems to be able to pick and choose on trival shit. Most guys are happy just to find a cute girl who is into them. Damn her political beliefs one way or another.

stevemunoz117 · 2024-11-11T15:48:56+00:00

When i was single, if a woman was politically obsessed that was an automatic turn off. I understand its important to keep up with politics and vote and all that but i rather not date or be with someone that views everything through a political lens. Dont care where you fall in the spectrum. I find them all insufferable. I dont want that to be the main part of their identity.

abaxeron · 2024-11-11T19:27:49+00:00

My political views are fractal and broad enough that they cannot be contained in a colored box, "agreed with", or "opposed" in their entirety. I somewhat agree with conservatives on economics but not religion. I align with "the left" on education, but not on reasoning for it. I think anthropogenic global warming / climate change is real, but not that it should be stopped by force at all costs. I know beyond doubt that vaccines (mostly) work, but got some only at the age of 27, and because my new job demanded it. I support development and research of nuclear power, but would not like to live near a power plant or a spent fuel storage. I think abortions should be accessible, but hundreds of thousands of perfectly healthy pregnancies terminated every year is deeply distasteful. Usually I try not to discuss politics with my friends and family at all, and for as long as we are all sensible on our disagreements, they should not be a problem.

FrameWorried8852 · 2024-11-11T19:30:28+00:00

As a man, no. I think it's cowardly and just dumb to worry about what nonsense your respective partner would prescribe too as it is all nonsense and will not save us from cancer or other human beings. It never has and it never will.

Reasonable-Cookie783 · 2024-11-12T03:51:06+00:00

Yes but mainly because progressive women are judgemental and have replaced religion with politics. I'm happy to agree to disagree with anyone and I don't infer the quality of a person by whether they agree with me politically. That's not true of most progressive women. You don't support abortion even when the fetus would be viable outside the womb and your scum to them. F that.

lovestocomment · 2024-11-12T06:47:56+00:00

I don't think men are moving right. It's more so they are rejecting what the left has become. Think about it. It's easy for women to be educated and get great paying jobs. And so, a lot of men see that as women no longer focusing men's resources as a requirement to settle down. With two incomes, the living situation and dating situation would be better for the average guy. It just makes sense. On paper.

Well that didn't work. Instead, women have pretty shit on the average guy. And are mainly trying get with the best. Basically, women's mating choices didn't change. If anything, it's gotten out of hand. Unrealistic stand, male disposability in a now gynecologist society, where one party claimed to champion equality but pushed female supremacy.

So now men are going the other way, because the society is not balanced in their favor in many ways. And it's funny because the system that oppressed the average men are maintained by men in power because that allows them more women and easy access to women. Due to their nature of wanting to date up.

Men are just checking out of a system that no longer benefits them in anyway. It's funny, because it's the average man that fought beside women to get them their rights. Yet women have turned their backs on.. average men

Impossible-Pin2457 · 2024-11-11T23:37:53+00:00

I used to not care, but far Leftism brainwashing refusing to date anyone that doesn't think exactly like they do made me care.

Like this boycott every man who doesn't vote for Kamala movement.... disgusting.

It's childish and not too mention hypocritical on their end using sex to persuade votes...not whorish at all!

Of course, on my profile I do openly say I'm conservative and fully support the 4B boycott, these women I don't imagine are wife material anyway.

KittyCatKnight · 2024-11-13T07:51:06+00:00

Yes. After the whole 4B movement I decided to look in to some stuff and what I found is harrowing.

I found that Republicans are significantly more likely to be/get married than Democrats.

I found that Democrats have higher rates of commitment issues and infidelity issues.

I found that a Social psychologist found that Democrats do not value the moral foundation of loyalty.

I found that Leftists value things and people further away from their inner circles, even giving more importance to SPACE ROCKS over their own family, where as for Republicans it's the complete opposite, which I thought was normal for everyone regardless of politics.

After reading up on these studies, I will never, EVER, consider being with a Leftist. Luckily I'm already taken by a Righty but if I was ever to become single again, it's probably going to be something I bring up early on in the dating process to make sure time isn't being wasted.

Title	Do you expect to date a person with your political beliefs?
Author	Dry_Grab_3874
Upvotes	34
Comments	319
Date	November 11, 2024 2:12 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1got2vs/do_you_expect_to_date_a_person_with_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-expect-to-date-a-person-with-your-political.1535412 https://theredarchive.com/post/1535412

Comments