Men should just refuse to get married

Vegetable-Rub3418 · 2023-09-06T08:27:26+00:00

The overwhelming majority of men are big romantics. So no matter how scary you convince them divorce can be.... They still won't listen.

TimeConstraints · 2023-09-06T07:46:12+00:00

From a practical standpoint, I'd be unable to share my health plan or survivor benefits with my partner if she was not married to me.

WestCombSplit · 2023-09-06T07:44:24+00:00

If people can get divorced and face 0 repercussions then surely marriage should be up to the individuals choice of what they want to do

PanzerKatze96 · 2023-09-06T15:07:43+00:00

Too late. Am married. And happy.

VickiLynnRose · 2023-09-06T10:55:36+00:00

That's a wonderful idea.

Swigart · 2023-09-06T17:48:15+00:00

I’m on of the lucky few that learned from my fathers mistakes. Even though he pursued the divorce I saw how it destroyed him and the spiral into a deep depression of which he still takes medication for 20+ years later.

After that, I told myself I would never get married. I’m not going to gamble on another person and hope it turns out for the best.

sayittentimesfast · 2023-09-06T15:52:56+00:00

Meh.

You can't argue with innate male ego.

No man walks down the isle thinking it will end badly. Yet, in half or more cases, it does.

No married man thinks HE will be the next victim of divorce rape. That happens to losers.

The innage male ego tells him he's somehow better than other men, and won't get dumped.

(Three years lateur...)

(The innate female ego tells her she is the best and deserves the best despite her mediocrity.)

These innate ego defenses are an important part of human psycho-social dynamics as they ensure lots and lots of reproduction. Just as mother nature intended.

obviousredflag · 2023-09-06T08:18:32+00:00

Why would anyone sign a contract that the other person can break for any reason whatsoever and usually face no repercussions ?

To get the benefits of having signed the contract, obviously. It's a subjective value people get from being married. How can you judge about this being a bad deal, when you cannot determine what the Pros are for an individual?

Also, no repercussions? As far as i know, being divorced is still a stigma and reduces your value on the mating market. Divorces are costly and stressful.

You thought marriage meant you can get regular sex with a woman who wants you?

No, that would be stupid to assume. You can or cannot ge t that in a normal relationship as well. Marriage has nothing to do with getting regular sex.

I agree with the overall notion that people might have the wrong expectations from marriages and should not marry for those reasons. Yet, the opposite is not true, that marriages are a bad choice and should never be done. The subjective value of being married might be larger than all the risks and possible negative outcomes. Most things can be solved by a suiting marriage contract.

Marriage offers the often needed long term stability outlook, that makes people willing to long term invest and cooperate with another person. People still marry when a woman becomes pregnant, because it's that much needed symbol and intention to cooperate longterm and stick together in good and bad times. This can be important to people, even though it's not a guarantee for success.

SurLitteratur · 2023-09-06T11:45:42+00:00

I don't really understand how this is a question?

If you don't want to get married then DONT.

Both males and women have to agree, if you don't agree, and she forces you, She's an abusive piece of shit.

Be your own, kick abusers to the ditch and stay strong.

iassureyouimreal · 2023-09-06T10:48:46+00:00

We are

melindabrown2023 · 2023-09-06T13:24:24+00:00

But most women want marriage. And it seems that men are more desperate for women than the other way around. So given that the 'dating' advantage remains with women, men will have to do what women want and marry if they want a relationship

wheartv · 2023-09-06T15:16:20+00:00

There’s no reason to get married unless you want kids

Otherwise it’s like having a roommate you sleep with that can also ruin your life on a whim

Vapelord420XXXD · 2023-09-06T12:26:05+00:00

Yes, marriage is pointless. Especially in places that have common law marriage where they forcibly marry you.

Gravel_Roads · 2023-09-06T07:51:17+00:00

You thought marriage meant you can get regular sex with a woman who wants you? You thought wrong again as your wife can stop fcking you for any conceivable reason

Yeah, if you think in these terms, marriage is NOT for you.

I'm a man who is absolutely stoked about getting married (I'm engaged). But I have a partner that I actually... y'know. Like, and enjoy the company of, and care about far beyond just the sex I can get from them.

We're in our 40's now, and recently had a health scare, where they ended up in the hospital. I am glad I was able to be present and protect and support them freely.

One-Introduction-566 · 2023-09-06T13:35:05+00:00

I mean go for it but a lot of women also won’t even date you if marriage isn’t on the table

TopNYJeweler · 2023-09-06T14:48:32+00:00

Agreed, and many men like it or hate their marriage, but sadly that is the only way most men can get sex with some frequency.

Crafty_Letter_1719 · 2023-09-06T11:43:03+00:00

What you say is true. Marriage in this day and age serves no real practical purpose. Or at least the practical benefits of marriage(minor tax breaks ect…) are far outweighed by the likelihood of divorce and all the emotional and financial strain that comes with it. If you want to be in a long term monogamous committed relationship…be in a long term monogamous relationship. You really don’t need marriage for that.

The reason marriage prevails is frankly because most woman are obsessed with weddings. Not marriage in itself but the actual wedding and all that goes with it. It’s the one day in their entire lives they get to be the centre of attention. Not the dumpy best friend. Not the plain Jane in the corner. Not the anonymous girl on the street. For one they are the Disney princess they have always dreamed of.

Of course an obsessive desire for a wedding is a ridiculous way to plot your life but I’m convinced this is fundamentally( as there are obviously some other factors also at play) reason why the whole multibillion dollar marriage industry remains as robust as ever.

Most men get married pretty much to help fulfil their girlfriends wedding fetish. The reason so many marriages fail is not because of abuse and toxic partners it’s because after the wedding the dull reality of mundane life kicks in and there is no longer that big wedding to look forward to. Life has already peaked. Better call that divorce lawyer and maybe sometime down the line another wedding might be on the cards. This is why the vast majority of divorces at instigated by woman and not men. Men get married primarily to please their wives. Wives though often don’t actually want to be married. They just want the wedding.

Marriage will only truly become a thing of the past when the repercussions of divorce for the average woman is the same as the average man. When woman start out earning men on average and it’s them that start to feel the true financial cost of divorce in a greater rate than men…women will simply stop pushing for marriage as the final logical step for a committed relationship and men will stop offering it.

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-09-06T08:32:10+00:00

The only things in life that are guaranteed are death and tax.

There is no sure way to know if your marriage will “survive” all marriages will have dark moments and testing times, depending on you and your partner’s relationships you might get through it ok.

If your someone that doesn’t like to take chances then maybe marriage isn’t for you and that’s ok, just be clear about that with potential partners because most people are fairly optimistic

Tired_abit99 · 2023-09-06T08:56:59+00:00

Good point! What is the point of marriage without religion?

tinrab · 2023-09-06T08:13:58+00:00

The only valid reason I see is the religious one. I'm not, so it doesn't make sense. People often mention the paternal investment, but dual-income seems the norm these days. Also, guys need to be aware of common-law marriage. Personally, I think LAT (living apart together) relationships are interesting.

Scared-Tea-8911 · 2023-09-06T17:04:35+00:00

Marriage is a religious and cultural institution which has been commandeered by the government/banks/insurance/secular institutions. Marriage in a purely “secular” sense has no meaning… and if you don’t attach this “marriage contract” to communal accountability (to you God, to your family, to your faith community, to your culture, etc.) it is a pointless contract that anyone can make or break for any reason.

Marriage should not be tied to secular organizations. Religious/cultural process which belongs in religious/cultural hands, with only religious/cultural consequences.

biggitydonut · 2023-09-06T10:17:03+00:00

It really just depends on the reason for your marriage and beliefs. My wife and I are Christian’s. My wife is pretty strong in her faith. She’s literally said “no matter how much you annoy me and piss me off, I can’t divorce you unless you cheat on me”.

But neither of us married just so that we can have sex or that I can get regular sex from a woman. We married because we thought that we were the right fit for each other to build a life together and have a family together and that’s what we both wanted.

SianOiseau · 2023-09-06T12:49:29+00:00

Marriage is a legal and social way to make the state and others treat you as one family unit. If you plan to live your lives together, buy property together, maybe have some kids later on the road, making it legally recognized just makes things easier. You don't have to, if you're against concept of marriage and "involving the state" into your relationship, but it isn't much different from getting recognized education or making pension savings. You involve the state in various ways and reasons.

Marriage doesn't mean that you get another person forever or that you get unlimited access to their body, service or other resources. Whoever marries for these reasons should reconsider their decision as they will get disappointed in the outcome.

Partners should be on the same page about marriage, it shouldn't be something pushed only by one and they should have compatible views on it. I.e. whether you see marriage as "for life" event due to religious or other reasons or you recognize the possibility of ending in divorce and you can discuss the prerequisites for that or how you'd take actions in this or that situation, what your views on couple therapy are, what you consider cheating etc.

You're wrong about no repercussions - divorce is a major life event and it brings a handful of negative consequences for both partners, especially if there are any kids involved. You can check my other post on the topic if you're curious.

My husband and I got married because it made sense for our personal situation. We'd dated for ~5 years prior, we'd cohabitated for 4 years and we were planning to move to another city and get into mortgage after a few years. Marriage was a legal and social way to confirm our intentions + get certain benefits from the state in the long-run. At that point we had no idea that being married also would help us to flee from our country years later. Marriage didn't really change our relationship or the way we treated each other, we'd been committed for years before, we'd already had shared budget and settled household. So neither was getting married under a false premise of unlimited sex or service, we did it mostly for practical reasons and a bit for social recognition.

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2023-09-06T09:58:02+00:00

Western society is moving away from marriage, which is a good thing. Latest study shows marriage is down 60% compared to 50 years ago.

Marriage can only exist when religion is very strong, society isn't promoting degeneracy and everyone takes their vows seriously. Since neither of these things applies to the modern age, marriage is a doomed.

ShaunyP_OKC · 2023-09-06T12:41:58+00:00

I will never get married again. There’s no upside for a man in marriage. None.

ornamentalwallpaper · 2023-09-06T11:19:48+00:00

You thought marriage meant you can get regular sex with a woman who wants you?

OP you are painting your gender as drooling crayon chewing retards who don't know what the fuck marriage is all about and are incapable of building a lasting bond.

LaTableEstBasse · 2023-09-06T10:19:03+00:00

Exactly my thoughts.

I didn't see any point in it.

Warm_Gur8832 · 2023-09-06T12:41:38+00:00

A lot of men nowadays fall into the category of actually being the prospective financial beneficiaries of a divorce because they make less money than their wives.

TelevisionGloomy5458 · 2023-09-06T11:40:40+00:00

I agree. Marriage is a scam for women. Women do the majority of the chores and caregiving responsibilities. It literally robs us of our time and money. 50/50 is a scam. You pay for 50 percent of everything and do 100 percent of the chores and the cooking and childcare. Even if childless and he does his fair share of the chores, he still eats way more than you. When I moved in with my husband, my grocery bill more than doubled.

ShiningWoman · 2023-09-06T09:49:36+00:00

Agreed, women should not get married either.

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-09-06T11:06:52+00:00

The overwhelming majority of women also thought divorce wouldn’t happen to them.

Look at your parents - what you listed has nothing to do with how they feel about one another. Just because they did “everything right” on paper doesn’t mean they can’t fall out of love.

doggiedoc2004 · 2023-09-06T15:34:15+00:00

Simple. Don’t get married. All your red and black pill information is out there. A segment of women is choosing to remain single rather than tie themselves to men to do not bring enough to the table. By all means. Stay out of the marriage pool. Some of us will continue enjoy the benefits of marriage. It doesn’t work out for many people but there is a large segment for whom marriage is great…. Especially when you don’t settle for anything less then your equal.

RAIdicalFetus · 2023-09-06T10:25:42+00:00

Not to mention she gets rewarding for breaking the contract, even with a prenup(which often get thrown out) they can only protect so many assets reasonably. Not even mentioning alimony/child support and legal fees. Divorce eats men alive and rewards women.

placeholder-123 · 2023-09-06T07:46:38+00:00

The truth is that marriage is like any other contract. People nowadays think that because you sign a piece of paper boom you're golden. Your piece of paper only has as much value insofar as people are willing to enforce it.

If no one is shaming women for breaking this contract especially without a valid reason, and if this contract does not have a binding religious/supralegal value, then it's worthless. You're just renting each other out for an indefinite amount of time (usually until the woman stops having tingles).

But IMO marriage as an institution is still very important. You should find your girl on social groups which enforce the value of marriage (ie religious communities). In any case the state of this instutition speaks volumes about our current predicament.

dishonouronmycow · 2023-09-06T12:06:18+00:00

People should be with people that want the same thing. If you want to get married, be with someone that does and vice versa. I wouldn’t be with someone that didn’t want marriage and I can’t imagine they’d want to be with me either.

CryptoThroway8205 · 2023-09-06T12:13:29+00:00

A lot of women won't have kids with someone who won't marry so if you want kids it's necessary. Even if you have a kid out of wedlock you have to pay child support in case of a breakup. The justification I've heard is that it's a commitment. You spend a lot of money and face (if it's in front of friends and family) on the wedding and the rings and any bride gifts. If a divorce is initiated they lose all that "investment"

Divorce stats are far lower under certain conditions like income or education. So if you pick well you're very very unlikely to divorce.

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-09-06T15:15:19+00:00

All of these situations can happen to women by their husbands. Those men also face no repercussions.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-09-06T15:32:46+00:00

I mean if you don’t want to then you shouldn’t. But I feel like people always forget about kids when talking about how there’s no practical point to marriage. If you want kids with someone and care about being in your children’s lives, you are going to be connected to that person for 18+ years no matter what. It makes sense to have the legal rights of marriage. Children are probably the main reason people marry today.

Sure your parents got divorced, but since they obviously had a child together, would they have been any better off unmarried? Probably not. You just would’ve been less likely to have your dad in your life in any capacity.

Other benefits of marriage include being able to share a health insurance plan, and to make decisions regarding your partner’s health should they be hospitalized and incapacitated. I know young people don’t typically think of these things when getting married, but they become important as you get older.

In short, if you just want a guaranteed sex slave for life, no, marriage isn’t for you. It’s for people who want to share a life and often children with someone.

Ockwords · 2023-09-06T16:37:37+00:00

You thought marriage meant you can get regular sex with a woman who wants you? You thought wrong again as your wife can stop fcking you for any conceivable reason . And that's okay. But it's still a reason to not get married.

This is the kind of thing you only see from the terminally online. There's no way you say this kind of shit out loud to normal people in real life lol.

John_Oakman · 2023-09-06T11:41:40+00:00

There's the social legitimacy aspect but trying to appeal to that to people who haven't touched grass is a lost cause.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2023-09-06T15:21:39+00:00

The virgin "muh marriage bad because divorce is legal"🤓🤓🤓

Vs

The chad "marriage bad because religious relic"🗿🗿🗿

nemma88 · 2023-09-06T12:18:47+00:00

Why would anyone sign a contract that the other person can break for any reason whatsoever and usually face no repercussions ?

...

I mean your wife can literally divorce you to get with another guy and face 0 repercussions.

Marriage as a contract is the religious and/or social & economic unity of two persons in the eyes of their god and/or the law. If one party no longer wishes to be in that union..

Why is that bad?
Why should there be repercussions?
What is required to be made whole in this situation ?

To be clear repercussions for early contract exit are designed so one party doesn't lose out on 'prepaid' services etc.

Many contracts we enter into are not lifetime contracts, but we still derive value from the duration and cancelling my Netflix doesn't mean the services rendered we're meaningless.

You thought marriage meant you can get regular sex with a woman who wants you? You thought wrong again as your wife can stop fcking you for any conceivable reason

Yeah they thought wrong, I can't think of any contract in todays world that compels someone to feel a certain way (we are human, not robots) act against their wishes forever.

Ultimately I agree if someone, man or woman does not want to get married they should not, in my opinion everyone should weight marriage with their own situation, wants and values.

You didn't really establish why someone should blanket refuse or why this would only apply to a single gender.

Wrong-Wrap942 · 2023-09-06T13:46:25+00:00

I mean… ok, but should we never do anything because we fear a possible outcome? Should I never go swimming again in case I drown? Should I never drive a car since car crash casualties are so high? Should I not have children because pregnancy is painful?

A lot of marriages end in divorce, yes. But a lot don’t. And for those who do, in between there was a time where they were both happy they got married. Things don’t work out sometimes. Oh well. Even your parents - you say they divorced despite being double income, having supportive parents etc. You do know there’s a whole lot more to a relationship right? Love is complicated, and hard, and can be trying sometimes. It’s up to both partners to figure out wether or not it is worth staying and fighting for. That is their personal choice. Extrapolating that to “no man should ever get married because statistically they’ll get divorced” is stupid, and reductive, and not at all understanding of how love and relationships work.

Serene_Trine · 2023-09-06T10:08:00+00:00

This is an extreme overgeneralization. If marriage is really that horrible, then why are tens of millions of Americans still happily married?

The 50% divorce does not tell the full story; far too many are too stupid, stubborn, and weak-willed enough to marry the wrong toxic women, it's not the monolithic group of women that is somehow corrupt in America.

100PercentNattyBrah · 2023-09-06T09:00:54+00:00

I mean realistically men should stop getting married, because as we know at this point, men get hard done by in most marriages, and there's really nothing for us to gain by getting married (no, love isn't a legitimate reason to get married, get out of here with that fairytale nonsense).

Where I disagree, is the fact that it's unrealistic, you will never see men en masse decide to remove themselves from the dating game, a man will marry a woman that who doesn't care about him, or doesn't love him, a woman that barely tolerates him because a lot of men are terrified of being alone, the same idea goes for the women that marry these men, they can't stand the thought of remaining single for the rest of their lives, so they end up settling down with a man they perceive as lesser because to them, it's a better option than being alone, besides, marriage gives women a sense of status, there's no status in being a married man though, I look down on and feel bad for men that I see who are married, because you know that most of their lives are miserable having to deal with an ungrateful cow who uses and abuses them every day.

Lookingforlove1997 · 2023-09-06T07:53:43+00:00

Men already do this. You’re kind of late to the game. There’s men that will still marry regardless though for their own reasons. Plus men that will “marry” but not file the legal paperwork because they want a wedding or they want to gift a wedding to their forever girlfriend.

jokerrbird · 2023-09-06T12:07:35+00:00

Today's systems are largely in favour of women in every single aspect, but it doesn't prevent to seek the right lady. Did you ask yourself 'why do rich people still marry?' Another reason for me, I want marriage to think less about STDs, have great sex (without condoms, nor performance anxiety), and be prepared for a kid. At least, I do my part. Yes, the divorce rate is incredibly high, but.. I think the marriage concept is not that bad, far from the religious perspective.

MarBitt · 2023-09-06T08:39:38+00:00

If marriage is meaningless to you and the woman you love will want and desire it, why reject it? You should be neutral about it, right? It's meaningless to you, but that doesn't mean you can't make someone happy with marriage.

CroomagnumTX · 2023-09-06T13:02:38+00:00

There are a few good reasons to get married and none have to do with love.

Flashy-Country-800 · 2023-09-06T22:19:25+00:00

Boomer men don’t do jack shit around the house while still not making enough for their wives to work less. So she’s mom, breadwinner and housekeeper while he settles in with a beer after his hard day at the cubicle lol.

No fucking shit they got divorced. Millennial and zoomer guys at least know this shit won’t fly anymore and so they put up or drop out of the dating pool. They don’t shut up though, and instead flock here.

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-09-06T12:57:05+00:00

Why would anyone sign a contract that the other person can break for any reason whatsoever and usually face no repercussions ?

...people sign contracts like this all the time.

Not even just societal shame as people tend to take the woman's side no matter what.

Boy are you in for a surprise when you learn anything about how society treats women.

But it's still a reason to not get married.

Of course it's not, who the fuck is getting married for sex?

your wife will find a flaw and use it to get divorced.

This is red pill paranoia.

I know couples who did everything right , at least by society's standards and they still got divorced.

Correct, sometimes people are just incompatible.

Look at my parents. Middle class couple, "age appropriate", double income, supportive grandparents. They still got divorced.

Probably because relationships are more than just those three things.

You seem to be arguing that because marriage is not guaranteed success there's no point in trying.

Uglypostwall · 2023-09-06T12:08:06+00:00

Honestly, why are women and men so different? Women naturally desire marriage, while marriage is not beneficial for men. So, what is the point of creating women as human beings if they bring so much inconvenience to men?I think applying logan's run rule on woman is good idea for men

Gudakeshh · 2023-09-06T11:54:36+00:00

Thats why they said to their daughters, “ Once married, don’t come back” Though extreme cases or violence is utterly disgusting, this saying of olden society and people was perfect. Feminists ruined it. Just because it feels convenient to them, they think all the teaching should be to boys in their childhood and not to girls. Absolutely no. Girls should also be taught values , as well as boys. Any smell of revenge from feminists, is only going to make things tough for everyone including them. Remember, when you make others an option, they can and will do the same. Reforming is better than regretting.

LovelyFireCracker · 2023-09-06T13:15:56+00:00

I think marriage is a dumb idea as well, but your whole post blames women for it being bad instead of facing the reality that people in general are just bad at relationships as well as not facing the fact that people grow out of things and change. Which is why I think marriage is dumb.

Governments try to make it more appealing by giving tax breaks and benefits to married couples which to me says marriage is so dumb that the government has to bribe people to get one.

Divorce is expensive both in the pocket and emotionally.

I think at best we should go back to the old way which was to marry for a few years and then have the option to leave, or to renew your agreement. At least the people back then understood that everyone changes and to force someone to stay in a place they no longer want to he in is cruel.

Twopawl · 2023-09-06T14:14:08+00:00

Why should just men refuse? Do women get some benefit from it that men don't? (Aside from potential financial benefit if he makes more $ than her)

AcrobaticRhubarb2147 · 2023-09-06T15:58:28+00:00

Dude, this just doesn't land on women at all. women make just as much or more money than men nowadays, they are earning the majority of advanced degrees.

This isn't the 1950, women do not need to get married. Besides, men are asking women to marry them. Not the other way around. this just doesn't land at all

Men can't literally take marriage away from women, because we no longer want to get married either. We don't need to, we work and make our own money. Men bring nothing else to the table.

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-09-06T16:14:09+00:00

Listen, we all takes risks and gambles in practically everything we do in life. Nothing is guaranteed, except that we will all die one day. Is divorce a possibility? Yes. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to avoid getting married because there’s a chance something might go wrong in the future. If I chose to live like that in regards to everything in my life, I’d never leave my house and never strive for anything beyond keeping myself alive with food, water, and sleep.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-09-06T16:35:10+00:00

If marriage is meaningless because you can get divorced, then friendships, romantic relationships and family relationships are meaningless because you can leave and ignore them whenever you want, even if you don't. But we continue to form connections and relationships with people because they have social and personal meaning, sometimes even legal meaning. It's okay if you don't like or want that meaning, but let's not pretend it doesn't exist. (And the majority of people who marry don't divorce. Chances are even better for you if you reduce risk factors like age gaps and low education.)

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Disasterid · 2023-09-06T12:41:12+00:00

Nah, marriage is good for taxes.

Epiphanic_Eros · 2023-09-06T12:42:31+00:00

Maybe you shouldn't be looking to society's standards for what is right in relationships (or elsewhere). Society's standards are useful for dealing with "society." Not so much for dealing with individuals or yourself.

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-09-06T14:08:05+00:00

Other than kids, I agree

Safinated · 2023-09-06T14:27:04+00:00

Not if they want kids

KayRay1994 · 2023-09-06T14:39:10+00:00

A lot of the divorce court related stuff has a lot more to do with taking care of children and maintain patriarchal norms (ie. man provides, woman is provided for) over anything else - so that’s a whole different issues.

That being said, the only reason why i’d ever get married is when i’m in a long term relationship and we’re ready to have kids, as a concept marriage holds no real value outside of a legal benefit to the child, beyond that, there is no difference between a childless married couple who’ve been together for decades and a childless unmarried couple who’ve been together for decades.

CombinationMore4630 · 2023-09-06T14:46:14+00:00

Yea but those sweet sweet tax breaks!

Marriage is a financial partnership contract. You just have to negotiate term immediately

Also don't hitch yourself to someone with no assets if you have some...

There's a bunch of creative ways to protect yourself

neverendingplush · 2023-09-06T15:16:40+00:00

I personally don't get it. There's nothing about marriage that changes anything yet makes you as a man extremely vulnerable, especially, specifically your finances. If anything certain functions can be signed over to someone via power of attorney in emergency situations.But really it's just a power move by women now to basically subjugate you.

schrodingerscat94 · 2023-09-06T18:19:08+00:00

OP, in real life scenario, if you want to actually start a family, you kinda need to get married for many legal and healthcare purposes. Very rarely people marry for sex. I would assume you are still very young but likely as you age, you naturally will become more family oriented, especially more so when you meet a woman you love. My husband married me because of love and he is well-aware of the risk (the same for me too as I also have high paying job and assets). However marriage is the way to go as we want to buy a house, have a shared financial account and get him my home country green card and etc. Marriage originated from love but stays for practical reasons.

xItaliax · 2023-09-06T20:15:31+00:00

I always say, get married. Whether it be good or bad, it will make you a better person. Growth comes from failure and success

Electronic_West_1831 · 2023-09-06T21:08:15+00:00

“You can’t fire me - I quit!”

BookwormJane · 2023-09-07T02:17:07+00:00

Women are the ones who should refuse to get married.

It's scientifically proven that married women earn less, are less healthy and less happy than their single counterparts. Besides, married women do more housework than single women. On the other hand, married men earn more, are happier and healthier. And they do less housework than single men.

Marriage to women is like going to jail and being a slave. It's definitely a scam.

Women are the ones who should refuse to get married. Single women thrive while married women are miserable.

_Remember_me_not_ · 2023-09-07T02:33:18+00:00

Everyone should be strong and independent and strong. No need to put a yoke over yourselves for delusional non-binding contracts. If someone gave you a 50-50% chance gamble of your mental and financial stability being uprooted for something that doesn't substantiate anything in your life, I am sure no one one would willingly take it. Now, when it comes to marriage, it is just a decorated poop, no matter how flowery it may look, there's still poop under the fake flowers.

In distant past, marriage used to mean something for common folks and divorce was the last resort but it soon all changed and divorce is the norm and working out is the weird choice. So, men are better off saving their own peace and get some "security and stability" of their own.

JupiterJazzX · 2023-09-07T05:47:38+00:00

Basing your happiness on what happens to other men is a net negative of society (if men just decide to not marry what happens to families and what happens to community and what happens to our country?).

Here's a title edit: weak men that need everything to be safe and base their decisions on other men should refuse to get married and stay away from the gene pool.

You claim to be red pilled but you sound like a coward.

Brandy96Ros · 2023-09-07T06:57:16+00:00

You go ahead. No one cares.

No_Technology_2603 · 2023-09-07T11:06:37+00:00

Men and women both can refuse getting married at they own peril usually in regards to their partners feelings and beliefs. However for the majority of couples it seems to be a “next step” for them in their relationship. Marriage itself carries(depending on jurisdiction) a bunch of legal consequences for both parties and also might serve as a legitimatiser of the legal partnership of your relationship. Dissolution of a marriage, like divorce, carries its own caveats and might not be so simple as to dissolve for either side. Also we are missing the paramount point here which you stated that the parties in a marriage are usually blinded by their feelings, it merely is just that feelings that marriage is a necessary step in a long life relationship that has become codified in law, benefits therefore do arise from this: in the law, display to your partner that you two can make it work or/and for religious reasons.

Late_Comfortable_525 · 2023-09-07T14:57:54+00:00

Whatever marrige is for some it isnt for others idc honestly and soceity doesnt always take the womans side men r held accountable for the last5 years and barley that and apparently u feel opressed by it dear god fuck of

_here_ok · 2023-09-07T18:57:11+00:00

That's you all's problems. You all are viewing marriage as something that involves benefit and reward when all it should be is a declaration of what is known.

You know your girl and know she loves you? Marriage is a form of expressing that and to treat it other ways will involve people treating it that way. To use it as an excuse for sex and ect is just going to make others excuse it for different things.

People should refuse to be married if there is any doubt because nothing is going to change from marriage. All that will change is just status and legal rights. Everything else is the same, who they are and who you are.

mista-john · 2023-09-07T19:51:07+00:00

Will nobody think of the children. Talk about ego.. sometimes a spirit comes from the joining of 2. Suddenly, your life is meaningless without them.. To share that is deeper than any doctrine and some people just get it!

Operatesinreality · 2023-09-08T08:41:41+00:00

The meaning of marriage TO ME and MY HUSBAND is not in the fact that it should last forever or cannot end. So it's not meaningless to us. Which is sort of the point of TWO people getting something together.

We also do not see it as a contract, so it's not that we would want another one to face consequences for leaving. We don't believe in outlook like that in relationships.

giveuporfindaway · 2023-09-09T02:43:54+00:00

Men should only get married if:

a) It's illegal to get divorced.

b) A woman is a virgin.

c) There's an agreement for no dead bedroom.

d) A woman is fertile and intends to have children at above replacement level birthrates.

Unless all criteria are met, then men should just date. These can still be long term dates, but they shouldn't be permanent commitments.

Tax_Evasion_Savant · 2023-09-11T20:01:03+00:00

prenups exist if you are afraid of divorce and there are lots of upsides to being married.

Men should just refuse to get married

Comments

Men, I present to you Exhibit A!

Title	Men should just refuse to get married
Author	Novel-Tip-7570
Upvotes	169
Comments	600
Date	September 6, 2023 7:29 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16bdo2r/men_should_just_refuse_to_get_married/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-should-just-refuse-to-get-married.1231363 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231363