Women's attraction based on career and income is weird.

obviousredflag · 2024-05-24T07:48:34+00:00

So all the women who are with men that are not pilots, doctors, lawyers and firefighters are not attracted to their partners? Status via job is ONE way to have status and ONE dimension of attractiveness which is weighed differently for different women. A job conveys much more than status. Anything artsy is not my cup of tea. Anything finance or law is not my cup of tea. Anything that's not my socioeconomic class by job is not attractive for me as a long term partner.

doggiedoc2004 · 2024-05-24T16:47:05+00:00

It’s not weird. Womens desire to mate across and up social hierarchies is rooted in evolutionary biology. Bearing and raising young is “expensive” health wise and resource wise. Those women historically that had an opportunity choose well were more evolutionarily fit because their genes made it into the next gen, thus the behavior gets conserved over time.

Culture absolutely comes into play but a few hundred years of women having more social agency after being at the whims of male dominance for all of history will not erase the baseline instincts of using resources, ambition, power, and status as a proxy to gauge how well a man may do as a mate/father/provider for young.

Of course other factors like chemistry and love can now come into play but the above markers are hard wired in most of us, as they should be. Imagine how weak the species will become if we continue to choose poorly. We are already heading toward Idiocracy because a lot of the women reproducing these days are NOT following their own and their children’s best interests.

TheLonerCoder · 2024-05-24T03:54:44+00:00

Your Career shows your:

Level of ambition
Socioeconomic background
Financial stability & disposable income potential

W-Pilled · 2024-05-24T03:16:21+00:00

There's studies to show women care more about a man's income than a man cares about a woman's income. Only on Reddit do I see women say they don't care how much a man makes to date them

CalligrapherSimple39 · 2024-05-24T08:29:31+00:00

Generally people just go out with people they get along with.

Those that are attracted to careers. Is because women have limited eggs and sex to give. Do they have to be more selective in the selection process than males. Not rocket science. Not because evil or illogical

AngeCruelle · 2024-05-24T03:15:43+00:00

Men here get quite offended when I say that I care more about education than career or income. I'm not sure we're allowed to be attracted to anything honestly.

Economy-Shake-1448 · 2024-05-24T03:22:23+00:00

A man needs to have a stable job if he wants to attract a woman of value.

No, this doesn’t mean wealthy. But what’s stopping you from picking a stable career? Nursing, a multitude of things in the medical field, engineering, teaching, law, real estate, tech, trade school, etc etc etc. find something stable and do it.

The cost of living is high. A stable career is crucial. If you don’t want to work, then you have to be a homemaker and a full time stay at home dad. Minimum wage isn’t enough to rent an apartment in most area.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-05-24T03:12:10+00:00

This is a TRP/grifter promise to unattractive men to keep them hooked on the cult.

Money doesn’t cause sexual arousal, think about how many posts you’ve seen by men claiming that women are attracted to thugs and drug dealers. Losers and users.

Which is it?

MistyMaisel · 2024-05-24T16:29:48+00:00

I'm not sexually aroused by those things. I'm just not interested in entering a relationship (which is the eventual vehicle to sex) with a man who doesn't have those things because relationships are about way more than attraction and sex to anyone who isn't a flipping moron.

Novadina · 2024-05-24T02:51:16+00:00

"Men are to be selected based on money and position in the hierarchy" Yikes!

Where are women saying this? This sounds like a red pill belief, which is typically things men think, not women. Can you link to a post with women discussing this?

One of the first things they ask is "what do you do?"

This is literally just a normal ice breaker question ANYONE would ask someone they just met. It’s not gendered, both men and women ask this when meeting people. It’s just asking how someone spends 75% of their time, as an ice breaker to get to know them a bit. People ask me this all the time, and I’m a married woman. They ask my husband too, sometimes they ask us both at the same time!

So what do you do for a living OP?

cornersfatly · 2024-05-24T03:10:54+00:00

“This thing I’ve decided is true about women is weirding me out!”

EulenWatcher · 2024-05-24T03:19:46+00:00

It’s more about long-term compatibility imv. If I had to date now, I’d prefer to date someone with compatible goals and lifestyle and one’s career is one of the indicators of it.

BigZaddyZ3 · 2024-05-24T04:21:47+00:00

I don’t really understand the point of posts like this tbh.

Yeah, women like providers and men who excel in competitive fields (such as work environments for example). It’s likely hard wired and is simply the product of evolution rewarding those type of preferences. There’s nothing that can be done about it. Women were “born that way” in a sense.

It makes perfect sense if you actually have the ability to step outside of your own ego and acknowledge what makes sense from an evolutionary fitness standpoint. It is what it is and no amount of weird guilt-tripping or “woe is me, women are so unreasonable 😔”-style posts is gonna change that. Life is life. You either compete in the “game” and live with the results or walk away from it altogether. But posts like this don’t really amount to anything other than wasted time and veiled-whining about something that likely won’t change no matter how mad you get about it. I suggest either looking at things like dating more objectively or just focusing your attention on other things buddy.

SleepyPoemsin2020 · 2024-05-24T03:51:21+00:00

"Women are rejecting "traditional gender roles", they are "boss babes" that don't depend on others. A lot of you don't want to have kids, and you don't care about doing the traditional things women were historically expected to. And yet, you have no problem saying "ya he needs to earn X amount for me to date him" - lol? Is it greed or hypocrisy?"

To what extent are these observations all, or mostly, present in a significant number of people? Or are you just taking bits and pieces from here and there, combining them, and creating a female boogeyman?

Ie, some women with higher earning jobs may not reject gender roles; women who are independent aren't necessarily going around calling themselves "boss babes"; some women may go around saying a man needs to earn a certain amount before they consider dating him, but merely noticing when women say such on social media doesn't mean it is widespread.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-05-24T07:35:06+00:00

Okay but usually people choose their jobs and even if they don't their line of work will influence how they see and interact with the world (there's some interesting work by Oesch on how different "work logjcs" could influence voting preferences). Practically speaking your job will give you certain skills and a particular lifestyle that people may prefer or not prefer in a partner (for example, a nurse is likely to be nurturing and also not to be available at the most sociable of times). And when you meet anyone their job is likely to be one of the first questions you ask - romantic or not, male or female, we see this as basic important information. In reality shows this is often the bio that comes with people - name, age, job. And it makes sense, as it's only the thing you spend half your time doing.

Plus-Sprinkles7852 · 2024-05-24T10:19:56+00:00

most of my friends are attracted to abs and tattoos and motorcycles and uniforms and athleticism.. Only like 2 out of 50 ever seem to care about jobs and they mostly go for tattoo artists and bartenders

i personally get attracted by intelligence and integrity and perversion and body hair and chubby belly and shyness and patience and esp unapologetic affection towards kids/animals/their family members

idky everyone always talks about guys jobs online but irl its really not a thing like we all live w our parents and study or are undateable due to working too much..

iliyb · 2024-05-24T04:51:03+00:00

Men have nothing to offer to women outside their resources why would this be confusing to you?

QueenofWolves- · 2024-05-24T08:30:48+00:00

People will always go for the better option available and it’s more about maintaining or enhancing your quality of life, lifestyle with a partner that’s most compatible.

A man and a woman could be dating and making the same amount of money but one person is extremely frugal while the other loves luxury, very likely not going to work between the two long term unless one person is willing to change their lifestyle or quality of life and that’s often tied to identity and how one sees how they show up in the world which is highly personal.

If you have a man or woman who is career driven and highly ambitious they probably have a strong view on the kind of lifestyle they’ve always wanted for themselves because it’s such a strong motivating factor. They may not be compatible with someone who just wants to get by because one is fine with the bare minimum in life while the other wants the best for themselves in life. Neither are wrong but just maybe wrong for each other.

Not everyone is going to be for you and that’s a good thing. Sometimes it’s not your time yet to find someone.

egalitarian-flan · 2024-05-24T10:31:20+00:00

A career does not necessarily indicate any other qualities about a man. A physician may have chosen his path due to parental pressure. He may not care at all about "helping people", but may prioritize having an upper middle class income and vice versa. He may be shy and awkward, or charismatic and humorous.

Correct. Which is why my sexual attraction to a man isn't based on his career or income. My boyfriend is an elementary school teacher, and I make about $20k more than him.

American women believe we live in a patriarchy.

I don't believe this. I believe we live in a society that has both good and bad patriarchal and matriarchal aspects, with power imbalances that result from either side.

They view it as a boogeyman that needs to be done away with. But how is judging a man's worth on his career not contributing to the patriarchy? "Men are to be selected based on money and position in the hierarchy" Yikes!

Exactly why it's dumb. In my opinion, of course.

Women are rejecting "traditional gender roles", they are "boss babes" that don't depend on others.

Yup. I reject any roles that don't fit me as an individual. I'm not a "boss babe" (god damn, I fucking hate these buzzwords) but I do have my own successful brick and mortar business, so I am the boss of myself. It's called being self-employed, we don't need stupid, sex specific terms.

A lot of you don't want to have kids, and you don't care about doing the traditional things women were historically expected to.

I am 42 and have never wanted kids, my boyfriend is 54 and has never wanted kids...is my opinion not just as acceptable as his? I don't care about doing the traditional things women did just because they were women. My boyfriend doesn't care about doing the traditional things men did just because they were men. Instead, we create our roles in our relationship based on personal preference and skill, not whether the person has tits or not.

And yet, you have no problem saying "ya he needs to earn X amount for me to date him" - lol? Is it greed or hypocrisy?

Nope. I would be with him if he was unemployed and decided to be a "househusband". If he wants to do the majority of household chores and upkeep, have meals ready when I get home, keep our home sparkling, he can do that. Although we'd have to move because I can't afford our house, utilities, taxes, and groceries on just my income alone.

Women will list a number of qualities they look for in a partner, such as: kind, considerate, funny, etc.

Of course. Men should raise their standards too. It'll help you avoid gold diggers and bitches.

and some physical qualities: "taller than me", good hygiene/grooming etc. but they never really say the most important deal breaker: status.

I don't give a fuck about status. Obviously.

One of the first things they ask is "what do you do?" as it's of utmost importance in her decisions moving forward.

Uh, no? I never asked any man I went on a date with what he does. It came up in conversation eventually, as did my own job, because a significant portion of one's life is spent at work. But asking outright is low class behavior in my opinion. A social faux pas, if you will.

A man can possess the qualities she's looking for and be shunned for his career. Women will overwhelmingly swipe on a guys profile that says "pilot", "doctor", "lawyer", "firefighter", and ignore red flags or unfavorable characteristics, because they value status so much.

Then they're idiots, unfortunately.

megamorphg · 2024-05-24T14:42:35+00:00

It's moresoover the passion for something in life that gets her wet. And one should be passionate about some things regardless of women anyway... else what is the purpose of life? Can even be passionate about finding the purpose or learning.

boom-wham-slam · 2024-05-24T20:28:30+00:00

It's only weird if you listen to what women say. If you ignore what they say and base everything on what they do, it all makes perfect sense and the world of dating is completely coherent.

YearnsToDestroySun · 2024-05-25T01:13:37+00:00

That second paragraph is 100% great example of the female hivemind stupidity and how out of touch with pragmatism the female mind can be. That's where a lot of the immaturity lies and how much the desperation to cover it up goes.

RevolutionaryJob7908 · 2024-05-25T08:26:47+00:00

its an unfortunately truth we are introduced to.. for men. we learned women keep the old standard of money, that its in their nature, which is why women making more doesn't work out. leaves the world empty of either gender getting marriage, or. Connection

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-05-24T04:20:13+00:00

Regardless of why the physician chose his career path, the fact that he can make the cut indicates that he’s intelligent, competent, and organized, and spends his days caring for others.

Of course there are outliers and of course there’s a garbage man or a logger out there who has the same amount of intelligence, competence, organization, and care as the physician but who was dealt a different hand in life. But generally speaking, a career does say something about someone as a person.

And in another context most men would be totally on board with the idea that you can use something concrete but possibly arbitrary as a proxy for personality traits and behaviors that might be hard to identify in someone you just met. Like, I don’t know, say number of sexual partners as an indication of disloyalty??

UninterestingFork · 2024-05-24T02:52:15+00:00

I literally don't know anyone who's mainly attracted to a man's career. I think the career only ads to the character but it's not the main thing. Maybe if he's studying to be a doctor then you'd know that means he's probably going to do long hours.

Difficult-Ad-2866 · 2024-05-24T14:13:24+00:00

And women think it’s weird that men care so much about looks and youth.

None of this is weird. It has been understood forever as part of our biology, culture, etc.

I think your opinion is weird. You that it’s ‘weird’ that life still isn’t fair.

bluehorserunning · 2024-05-24T15:17:19+00:00

Women are not a hive mind.

The women who want trad husbands are the ones who are more comfortable taking on the majority of the home and child care. The ones who don’t want kids are less likely to care, OR they’re professional trophy wives that you can’t afford.

As for a job, yeah sometimes it’s pressure, but statistically a lawyer, an IT guy, and a doctor, are going to have different personalities. A biologist is going to be fun to be around because I’m a biologist; we will enjoy watching the same shows, and he’ll get my jokes. Etc.

superlurkage · 2024-05-24T02:58:03+00:00

It’s not sexual attraction, so no

forthetinderelllas · 2024-05-24T03:58:58+00:00

Several misunderstandings here.

Starting with the first, your post implies women weigh careers heavily in their search. This is only partially true for women that are looking for a relationship - not hookups. Women will hookup with a dishwasher if he’s charismatic and decent looking.

Secondly, even for those that do prioritize career/hierarchy, they do so because they are looking for someone they feel comfortable starting a family with (kids or not). Feeling safe i.e. [in many cases] being financially comfortable is a big deal to women. Its biology. Think, there’s a period of time 9 months out of the year where they could potentially be out of work. I say specifically feeling safe as well as this relates to hierarchical aspect of it.

Thirdly, you’ve got to imagine someone who is higher up in the hierarchy is likely to be charismatic, not shy and/or a loser so the idea that you got this lame physician or whatever is pretty unlikely. And in such cases, those guys would be invisible to most women anyways (see Tech Guys making 100k+ a year).

Sharp_Platform8958 · 2024-05-24T03:01:06+00:00

It’s not weird. It’s biology. People try to fight it and ignore it but women look for stability and the ability to provide in a mate. They will need protection and resources when birthing offspring. Humans seem to want to suppress these things. We have evolved some but not enough to completely ignore the last of our animal nature.

arcticshqip · 2024-05-24T03:22:23+00:00

Well, this attraction only exists in minds of men. Women just wish for a basic ability to live with your means and support yourself

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-05-24T11:07:23+00:00

You are looking at the veneer, the stuff that is fake and not really understanding what's beneath the surface that matters. You get caught up in these things like status and hierarchy and money.

Human beings have been around for many hundreds of thousands of years and if you count our close hominid predecessors, perhaps millions of years. Money and careers didn't exist for the vast majority of this time. Yet humans copulated just fine. Apparently, for lasting evolutionary changes to occur, it takes at least 1 million years: https://today.oregonstate.edu/archives/2011/aug/lasting-evolutionary-change-takes-about-one-million-years

Again, desire for status, money and a place in the hierarchy are simply symptoms of a basic need that drives the female of the species. Beneath the veneer of status and money is the need for safety and security.

From an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense. Women are weaker and more vulnerable than men and especially so when pregnant with a baby. So naturally, women are attracted to those they perceive as being able to make them the most safe and secure.

Now, I know people will object and say "we live in a modern society, we have police and militaries and can buy guns. Women can work and make their own money. They don't need safety and protection anymore when the state provides that". And to that I will reply:

"Why are men still attracted to young women with big breasts, nice butts, slim waists, healthy skin and hair, when modern medicine all but guarantees a healthy pregnancy?" The answer of course is the same. Because it is genetically programmed in us and it will not evolve out of us for quite a long time.

It is not the status and the money that attracts women. It's what those things represent to her. It's the feeling of safety and protection and a man who knows what he is doing, can create those feelings without having money or social status. Which is good news for you dweebs. It actually means that you can be the prize. That women need you more than you need them. Because most men need women for sex and some cuddling. But so many women can provide that. Not many men seem capable of providing women with safety and protection.

purplish_possum · 2024-05-24T12:56:22+00:00

Women don't have sex with UMC and rich guys because they're attracted. They have sex with UMC and rich guys as a means of extracting resources.

Dense-Tell-6147 · 2024-05-24T13:11:58+00:00

Status counts for shallow people. We can agree, most Americans are shallower than a puddle of dog piss.

I descend from a line of marquises, work a tech exec job, back in Europe I had the chance to dine in castles, but also to play music for union workers in squat houses and get beaten by the cops.

Since I moved to the US, I tried some interesting experiment, see how much more middle class ‘murricans (pigshit ignorant riffraff) want to deal with me when I reveal my lineage as opposed to when I go around casual and unassuming.

While my wife is European like me (and she met me when I was in a very bad spot and decided to stay), I kind of saw the “coming to America” tropes somehow held true. I play jazz with an ethnically mixed band and I blend in, people see me for who I am (and have no clue about my income and my assets), the one who dare playing snobbish with me are the cretinous rednecks who think they are worth something because of a bachelor from a dumbass southern college, but can’t tell Austria apart from Australia and can’t spell a single word in a foreign language

Troublen421 · 2024-05-24T15:48:50+00:00

What I have an issue with is when some women put way too much emphasis on the percieved external status of a career title or degree.

Example:

Brad, the financial analysis for goldman sachs making 100K a year with a masters degree in accounting. But he also has 150K in debt from the degree and lives in a thuper fancy apartment with a leased BMW:

"OMG I Started dating this guy he has a MASTERS and works for GOLDMAN SACHS and drives a BMW and lives in succh a nice place omg sooo yummyyyyyyy"

Poor trevor on the other hand, just went to trade school for 2 years, lives in a modest house he half built himself and drives a 2012 toyata rav4 he fixed up himself. However, Trevor is now a master electrician who owns his own small business, raking in over 200K a year. Trevor has 800K saved in his account by the age of 33 due to buying a modest house/making the fixes himself and choosing to buy a modest car.

"meh......I mean trevor is kinda cute but he only has an associattes, I need an educated man. and his place is kind of meh"

now, the obvious answer is that a guy like trevor likely has a different lifestyle and maybe even values than the girl that likes the BRAD.

still, its a fun thought experimeent.

LingonberryNo578 · 2024-05-24T13:08:50+00:00

Crazy how women are oppressed by muh patriarchy but love men who are at the tippy top of the patriarchy your not feminists your leech grifters.let me guess the man has to have ambitions his whole life while you look pretty and coast on in like a vampire bat.

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Jello_Vivid · 2024-05-24T04:50:53+00:00

I think it matters especially when you are starting a family and the girl gets pregnant. She wants to be sure you are able to provide if she is out of the workforce other than that I guess it's also natural for a woman to want a partner that can provide her with a certain lifestyle, I'm not saying it's the most important thing but it's an important factor.

Public-Buffalo87 · 2024-05-24T06:57:08+00:00

well.. i’m looking term unemployed after being laid off and now doing door dash to make ends meet so i’m pretty much screwed in the dating market 🤡

GraceOfTheNorth · 2024-05-24T09:09:45+00:00

Because women want stability and security to raise children and a job is an indicator of both

voidvoices · 2024-05-24T10:48:22+00:00

Did you know how you treat jobs? You put things on list (how far from home, how much pays, how hard it is, etc). Women normally treat relationships like that, again, normally, not all.

Theres phrase that says “women like what they hear, thats why alot men lies and men like what they see, thats why women uses makeup”.

I personally think both ones (men liking women by looks and women liking men by what they say) show what kind of personality they had and normally they don’t catchy my attention even for a friendship. Finding decent people down to earth is getting harder day by day.

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2024-05-24T10:56:36+00:00

career can be somewhat of an indicator of interests but otherwise dont really care

ObadiahTheEmperor · 2024-05-24T12:25:56+00:00

Humans in general are prestige sensitive. And women, who had to sort of cling to the man they were with and would be treated very good or very bad depending on his personal prestige, kinda evolved a sensitivity to that. The Fault lies again, with us. Why muscles? Cause we like to fight each other. Why intelligence? Cause we like to compete with each other. Why prestige? Cause we like to do dick measuring contests. Why height? Most dudes respect tallter guys more. Why confidence? The warrior who commanded the room usually had the most confidence etc etc. All the preferences women have center around mens competition. Since a woman is kinda glued to a guy, it makes sense to want to be with the guy who beats most guys at life.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-05-24T13:37:37+00:00

A slim, beautiful 22 yr old woman may actually be infertile, while a chubby, average looking 35 yr old might be very fertile. Does this mean men’s attraction makes no sense too?

And while I’m not going to claim career and status makes no difference to most women, it is just one piece of the puzzle, and there’s a lot of variation in how much it matters to individual women. Women and men both tend to ask “what do you do?” early on as a way to break the ice. Because regardless of someone’s reasons for choosing their work, it’s still a huge part of their life.

AbiAsdfghjkl · 2024-05-24T17:50:27+00:00

I think it all depends on your viewpoint and what influences it e.g what you want out of a relationship, if you want children or not, what you'd need financially to make it happen, your values, your background, etc.

I largely agree that a career doesn't necessarily indicate any other qualities about a man. Sure, it might be an indicator of interests (especially niche sectors), values (for example, a doctors primary motivation for working in the medical field may be a drive to help others and make a difference) and whatnot, but equally it may not indicate those things at all as there are many reasons for pursuing a certain career e.g earning potential, family pressure, job benefits etc. So, in my opinion, basing your opinion/judgement of a man, specifically his personality/values/strengths/desires, on what he does for a living is quite short-sighted.

I can understand career being important in the logistical sense e.g if you want children, because you need to factor in the cost of not just the children but also housing, childcare, potential stay at home parenting, schooling, etc. Especially as nowadays it's not as easy to have the 2.5 kids, house, car, holidays/vacations, etc, as it was back in the day when it was possible to do all of that on one income stream alone.

As for what American women believe, I can't say, as I live in the UK, and whilst the UK and US have a lot of things in common, there's also many differences that do impact things like this. I personally don't think we live in a patriarchy. We used to but not anymore. I do think there are some patriarchal elements that remain, but that's more to do with social change taking longer than legal change, and those things are disappearing over time anyway.

I agree there are a lot more women rejecting traditional gender roles and historical expectations but I think this is the result of no longer living in a patriarchy. Back in the day, women were quite literally dependent upon men for everything due to not having many rights, so marriage was essential for survival. In a time where contraception and abortion weren't available and women had no right to obtain a divorce, own property, work, access education, open a bank account, have no say over property or children etc, many women's lives were not the lives they would've wanted if they had been given the choice.

If you graph the advent of women's rights and women's behaviours/choices/etc over time, you'll see the changes happen at similar rates. Women are now the most free we have ever been and our lives are a stark contrast to those who came before us. In my opinion, the key difference and the cause of these stark changes is choice. Women are no longer entering marriages they don't want, no longer having the children they never wanted, etc.

Many of us grew up with grandmothers telling us stories of their younger years, particularly how gruelling and dehumanising it was - if their husbands wanted sex, they couldn't say no. Marital rape and domestic violence weren't illegal and punishable by law, and in an age where contraception wasn't available, that meant being treated like breeding cattle, having unwanted children back to back. It meant a bad day at work for your husband led to you going to bed that night with a black eye. It meant that, no matter how unbearable your life was, you were shit outta luck.

As a result of life no longer being like that, and more importantly, having the ability to choose what you want your life to be like, women's incentives for getting married and having children have naturally changed. That directly translates to men having to bring something to the table nowadays, to put it bluntly. Whatever it is they need to bring depends upon the woman and what she wants, values, etc. That's not to say men aren't allowed to have standards, dealbreakers, choices, desires, etc. It just means that, on a literal level, they now need to provide some sort of incentive, and what the incentive is varies woman to woman.

It goes without saying that there are many women out there who treat men like a utility to extract resources from, prioritising their own wants and needs and not caring about the men they use. However, there's also many women out there who don't view relationships as a financial transaction and instead value and prioritise intimate connection. The solution to that, I'd say, is simply don't date the users. If the supply of men willing to tolerate that behaviour dries up, so too will the exploitative women. They can't capitalise on what isn't there, so don't be a willing participant.

From what I've noticed, when men are asked about their standards, they automatically default to what it is they want in a partner, and while that's absolutely not a bad thing and is completely natural, men tend to neglect the standards specifically pertaining to how they themselves are treated. Much of men's focus is on preferred attributes of potential partners, and not enough on standards pertaining to the quality of a potential relationship, specifically the standards by which they are viewed and treated. I'm not saying that in an insulting manner (as in, I'm not having a dig), I'm saying it more in a neutral way, that it's a potential oversight that I've observed. I don't know why that oversight is the case and I wouldn't want to assume as I'm not a man and have no experience of what it's like to grow up male in today's society, but I imagine cultural pressures and social conditioning play a part alongside other aspects.

(Sidenote: this is also why I don't believe we live in a patriarchy, both men and women face challenges as a direct result of their biological sex, and whilst those challenges may be different depending on if you're a man or a woman, it doesn't negate the fact that those challenges exist. There are many problems men have to endure because they're men, and I know enough to know I can't possibly be aware of and understand all of them, due to not being a man myself. On top of that, I personally find it despicable that men's problems aren't taken as seriously specifically because they're men, but that's a rant for a different time.)

I personally think that the way forward for men, in terms of weeding out the shit women and finding/being in a good quality, healthy, loving relationship, is to completely ignore all exploitative women. Remove them from your life, be they friends, situationships, friends with benefits etc - get rid of them. Don't reward their behaviour by giving them what they want. This extends further out too - cancel any OF and porn subscriptions, unfollow/delete women like that on social media, basically fully remove those kinds of women and their exploitative shit from your life. Refuse to be treated like a commodity but do so across every area of your life. People take actions more seriously than words, so show them that their behaviour will not be tolerated and won't get them what they want.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-05-24T19:05:09+00:00

Well that's only for golddigers, noone has genuine attraction to money.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-05-24T19:21:09+00:00

"What do you do?" is totaly normal neutral socialy acceptable conversation starter, it's neutral topic, you can talk about something interesting from work to get to know each other while still in a safe zone if you are not ready to talk about something too personal yet. It's not a question to figure out how much you can possible earn, it's just totaly normal neutral safe conversation starter.

TSquaredRecovers · 2024-05-24T19:25:16+00:00

If a woman is well-educated and has a good career, it’s entirely reasonable for her to want to date a guy on her level. In fact, if you look at the statistics, most people date and marry partners who have similar levels of educations and socioeconomic status.

apresonly · 2024-05-24T19:27:40+00:00

you'd have to show why its bad compared to what men are attracted to (lol)

nopridewithoutshame · 2024-05-24T19:57:53+00:00

That is a characteristic women choose for, not the the only characteristic. Women don't ignore red flags for status. A man has to be the whole package. Your premise is faulty.

DreaminInChocolate · 2024-05-24T21:32:49+00:00

I am attracted to a man because he's hot and I like his personality. That's the only reason I am attracted to him. I still wouldn't date a man with no direction or plan to get himself ahead in life.

Odd_Hornet_1014 · 2024-05-24T22:30:18+00:00

Just like man only care about sex with anyone for a short term relationship,one night would be perfect.

OkProfessional9405 · 2024-05-25T00:51:53+00:00

It's not important to critique what women want, it's more important to understand what women want and to cultivate those authentic attributes that you possess that can be developed into the type of things women want. Or more specifically the type of things that the women that you want, happen to want from men.

SleepLivid988 · 2024-05-25T02:02:11+00:00

The women who only look for status/career are also the ones who want to be independent? The women looking for a man with all the personality/moral qualities she seeks is also concerned about money? Woman are not one entity. We are all separate humans with separate wants/needs/preferences/life experiences.

solstice-sky · 2024-05-24T03:34:21+00:00

The midnight musings of a man with no status.

Odd_Ad5171 · 2024-05-24T04:33:33+00:00

Bro no one cares about job titles until you are in your 30s. It’s like you all ignoring college age years cause you all are old af and don’t know what to do about all the time you wasted on video games and porn in your prime years.

So instead you obsess about the things that are relevant to your age group.

You think when a woman is falling in love and getting that D she’s thinking about your job?

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2024-05-24T09:16:37+00:00

It's because she wants to show off her partner to her friends.

bluestjuice · 2024-05-24T04:36:01+00:00

I feel like you just have to take career with the biggest grain of salt imaginable, as it can and does change radically over the course of a lifetime. People are constantly losing jobs, changing industries, going back to school for secondary degrees and pivoting into different career paths, getting stuck in roles with no growth opportunities, etc. etc.

Planthoe30 · 2024-05-24T05:49:21+00:00

A career is absolutely an indicator of other qualities a man might have. Veterans have high rates of PTSD which is not a complication I want added into my life. Corrections officers have high rates of divorce and burn out (which has negative consequences within relationships). Sex workers have higher than normals rates of STDs. I care about occupation.

I care most about receiving an education. I am also a college graduate. It is a protective factor against unemployment, securing retirement and from financially falling behind (inflation). If I am going to start a family with someone (which is what I intend to do) then I will select a partner who is likely to provide.

the higher the person’s level of education in the first 20 years of their career, the more likely they are to see higher earnings per month and fewer periods of unemployment.

https://adigaskell.org/2018/06/08/education-is-the-best-predictor-of-success-in-life/#:~:text=As%20such%2C%20the%20higher%20the,someone's%20earnings%20over%20their%20lifetime.

I would have never dated someone who did not at least graduate college. He could have graduated and went on to be a postman doesnt matter, he would still be more likely to end up getting promoted over uneducated men. I get along better with men who have an education. I find college educated men to be more intelligent, they tend to have a natural curiosity about the world. They are more interesting, they have a wider variety of topics we can discuss. I also find college educated men more socially competent. My husband feels the same about college educated women.

funfacts_82 · 2024-05-24T08:11:23+00:00

American women believe we live in a patriarchy. They view it as a boogeyman that needs to be done away with. But how is judging a man's worth on his career not contributing to the patriarchy? "Men are to be selected based on money and position in the hierarchy" Yikes!

That is because they are the vocal minority. Almost all american women i had a chat with outside of reddit (and even a lot on PPD) happily admit they like gender norms and in fact enjoy the benefits of being a woman.

For example just recently one told me they like the princess seat (letting their man drive the car whenever possible).

I suspect either the women online are really just a very vocal minority or that they actually have different opinions when private.

VeRbOpHoBiC1 · 2024-05-24T11:19:02+00:00

Hypergamy.

Emergency_Ad_6954 · 2024-05-24T18:48:31+00:00

Because women don’t really like men the way we like them mostly. The biggest thing they look for in a man is what he can give her. So your income is extremely important

wtknight · 2024-05-24T03:04:56+00:00

Egalitarianism isn't patriarchy. If a woman who makes $150,000 a year also desires a man who earns $150,000 a year and won't settle for one who makes $100,000 a year, then how does this contribute to patriarchy?

If a woman who makes $50,000 a year only will date a man who earns $150,000 a year, then sure, this contributes to the idea that men should be the ones in economic power. However, more women these days are trying to earn a lot of money themselves and not just relying upon higher earning men.

But overall, the whole idea has never been "weird", since the evolutionary intent was to ensure that children would be well-provided for with resources.

Pathosgrim · 2024-05-24T07:27:03+00:00

I agree with most of what you've said. Women are hypocrites and paradoxical. They enforce "toxic masculinity" and the prevailing elements of "the patriarchy" which is the wealth, status and power that comes with being in that 10 to 1 percent.

Men are judged for what they do. The unglamorous occupations that keep society running for the aforementioned consumers are spat and shat on. Revelations aside, it's good to be a normal, average person. To be wealthy, famous, and have great physical traits will lead one down a rabbithole of decadence.

Boxisteph · 2024-05-24T09:52:59+00:00

I can see where your frustration lies. We are still in a patriarchy, where society is structured off of men's needs and preferences and women's are an after thought or not included at all. But we're not in a strong patriarchy, we are moving towards the middle.

So a lot of benefits men had in a patriarchy aren't accessible to all men at the same time a lot of the things a woman needs from a man in a patriarchy are still needed because the patriarchy still stands.

The main one is finance for when children are born and she is too vulnerable to secure it herself. The motherhood penalty is still alive and strong but at the same time, any old Joe cannot provide an income to make up for this.

Women have realised this though and decided to opt out of motherhood as not just any old Joe will be a good house dad either.

Men need to work harder or let the patriarchy give way for a structure that considers women as equally as it considers men. When women can lead the lives they want to, without incurring financial penalties due to the progression of womanhood the renumeration of a man she likes doesn't matter than much.

No_Hunter696 · 2024-05-24T06:11:35+00:00

career is only good for betabuxxing, why are you mad some 30yo physician is gonna get a pumped and dumped hoe, most of them arent getting anything of value, only drug dealers in this modern world get actual respect, they get prime virgin pussy and genuine love from women, your physician is to be settled for, his wife will never love him even close to how she loved her first man

Women's attraction based on career and income is weird.

Comments

A man needs to have a stable job if he wants to attract a woman of value.

Can you elaborate why one woman is worse than the other? It’s isogamous.

You’re moving the goalposts from how women don’t want a man who earns a lot of money to “WELL I DESERVE A STACY EVEN THOUGH I DONT MAKE A LOT OF MONEY”

If you earn money together while married then it should be split 50/50. Anything acquired during marriage is community property.

Title	Women's attraction based on career and income is weird.
Author	HillOrc
Upvotes	66
Comments	494
Date	May 24, 2024 2:42 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1czalk1/womens_attraction_based_on_career_and_income_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/womens-attraction-based-on-career-and-income-is.1519355 https://theredarchive.com/post/1519355