Men have no options.

Punch_Drunk_AA · 2025-05-02T21:20:12+00:00

Ask anyways. But, respect her answer if it's no.

Do some recon before you ask her out. See if she's talking to the other ladies at XYZ about you to see what she's saying.

Strive to make actual platonic friends that are girls. They will almost certainly have other single friends that they can set you up with.

~~Go to church.~~ Or anywhere that has a community that welcomes newcomers. Jesus Christ you all take shit literally.

Nobody is going to issue you a girlfriend, and relationships don't happen without work. They take time, commitment, compromise and communication. Yeah there's people that will have a much easier time than others with that. But, when you put in more effort, your relationship will be better than there's.

JohnaldJr21 · 2025-05-02T21:02:53+00:00

Men have the option to live their best life and not really care about dating. That’s what I’m doing right now. If I find someone cool if not I’m going to enjoy life all the same.

TotalTravesty · 2025-05-02T20:41:53+00:00

"Do it anyway" is always an option. There's a difference between "social stigma" and the law. Hell, "social stigma" in this case is just a couple of tsk tsks from internet randos you'll never ever have to answer to. So...do it anyway.

Success is not guaranteed--want to make that abundantly clear--but where in this life is success ever guaranteed? Still a better option than sitting on reddit crying about barriers that never actually existed.

PB-French-Toast-9641 · 2025-05-02T20:45:12+00:00

social stigma of bothering women in public or private areas.

Read the room, take a no with grace, and there's probably some places where you generally shouldn't. And generally don't go swinging for the fences from the getgo

huge risk of poisoning the well - ruining a friendship/making things weird in a social group

Plausible deniability can help

Also using your connections, whether they be family or friends or both, can help

im_rarely_wrong · 2025-05-02T20:42:10+00:00

Males of all mammals have no options. This is only new and shocking to humans because monogamy is dying and women are sexually free unlike before. Sexually free females of any species are super hypergamous, there's nothing you can do about it, accept it and move on.

Master-Praline3326 · 2025-05-02T20:52:02+00:00

Tried first approach, failed miserably.

Tried second approach, friendzoned.

Tried online dating, got no woman matches but some men try to communicate even tho i only set for ONLY WOMEN.

Now trying to improve my status and trying to be attractive to women, yet it is complicated to achieve.

I guess my only option is trying the climb ladder even though it might not get me with women, yet it would still improve my life quality.

Tnotbssoass · 2025-05-03T02:51:41+00:00

The fact that 1, 2 and 3 don’t work for you means you’re physically unattractive.

They all work for good looking men.

Key_Spread_3422 · 2025-05-02T20:48:57+00:00

No it’s just that people take rejection as a personal attack

Sonia314 · 2025-05-02T22:28:41+00:00

You don’t have to be bothered about poisoning the well and making things weird if a warm approach is rejected. It’s a choice you’re making. I used to be too scared of that to ask people out too, but I worked on that issue until I overcame it. Now I ask guys out a few times a month. I usually get rejected, but even if it does make things awkward, that passes quickly. One time it led to drama when the person turned out to be mentally unstable, but when you develop a reputation for good character in general that doesn’t have too many consequences. It’s an inconvenience, but it sure beats the alternative of dying alone.

Nothing you do in life is risk free, and there really are some bad apples out there that can make your life inconvenient for a while. I think this is amplified by feminism making women pretty cruel sometimes. But in general things will go fine. if you just keep putting yourself out there you’ll develop a thick enough skin to not take rejections personally, which will make them less awkward. Everyone has to take risks and feel some discomfort to live a full life, and dating is no exception. Most people learn to be ok with this. The trouble comes when people see it as a reason to give up.

As an autistic person with low self esteem, I really empathize with what you might be going through. I hope you’re able to overcome this and find love. You definitely deserve to.

G4M35 · 2025-05-02T21:30:04+00:00

So, you think that men today have only 3 options to find a mate? Cold approach, warm approach and OLD?

I would call this a limited view of life, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

statsfodder · 2025-05-02T22:08:56+00:00

Be better

be attractive

have something going on in your life

Chase your dreams not women

Your post is the same as feminists who complain about shallow men and that beauty standards should change when they could just hit the gym and not eat that fifth donut..

Authenticity and being a genuinely decent/good person who is actively striving to be better is the way to go, because even if you aren't for her, you are moving your life forward regardless ...

Solondthewookiee · 2025-05-02T20:44:03+00:00

Online, warm approach, and cold approach, in descending order of success.

Reading social cues is a pretty critical skill and one that is valued by most women. Saying "men have no options" is really just saying "men lack the social intelligence to determine when it is or isn't ok to approach and the ability to read interactions to know if your approach is being received well or not."

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-05-02T21:21:03+00:00

Cold approaches can be fine, but context matters. Don’t approach a woman who’s clearly busy, like when she’s running errands or in places where people aren’t usually looking to meet someone. If you’re at a social event or setting where conversation is more natural, then yes, go for it. Just be respectful, read the room, and if she’s not interested, take the “no” with grace and move on.

ThatBitchA · 2025-05-02T20:54:23+00:00

Lol. Why do y'all make it so hard on yourself?

Warm approaches are more than friend groups or work.

Do y'all not have hobbies or socialize?

My goodness.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-05-02T22:09:02+00:00

https://www.southdenvertherapy.com/blog/how-couples-meet-where-most-couples-find-love-2025

You have decided those are not options. Everyone else concludes differently

smallfrythegoat · 2025-05-02T21:55:20+00:00

Step 1. Decide your political orientation. If your approach to women is in harmony with that, you'll stand a better chance of finding someone that you click with on a deeper level. Cold approach: Conservative/old fashioned Warm approach: Moderate/libertarian Online dating: Progressive

Step 2. Don't thrash around in the dating pool just making moves on women left and right, because it comes across as having lowered your standards. Trust me, we can tell. And if you're looking with the intention of settling down, the woman you're propositioning to should be made to feel sincerely valuable.

Step 3. Stick with it. It's like a job hunt. If you're panic applying to jobs and not taking time to carefully weigh how they align with your career goals, you'll end up having to find a new job every month. Return to your values like it's a pilgrimage to Mecca.

lostnumber08 · 2025-05-02T21:45:43+00:00

Speak for yourself.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-05-02T21:57:06+00:00

Well warm approach are the best. The risks are low and even a first rejection could leads you starting something serious to the said person that rejected your offer to begin with a few years later

KoleSekor · 2025-05-02T23:04:54+00:00

1000000% cold approach is the greatest way to meet and attract women. Guys aren't always gonna catch girls at a good time in their life, guys aren't always gonna be the same vibe as the women they approach (although that's why you go places you vibe at because you'll find people there with similar vibes), but cold approach, organically meeting and attracting women in person, is always gonna be King.

That's including what some people call "warm approach", which is women give you indicators of interest before you approach them. If that happens, great. If it doesn't, still approach.

Another caveat - having a strong social media presence to connect with her after the cold approach is also highly recommended.

Neptune-Jnr · 2025-05-03T11:22:25+00:00

Stop caring about making women uncomfortable.

Odd-Talk-3981 · 2025-05-02T21:37:23+00:00

Men actually have a pretty simple option: be a happy single guy 😉.

And best of all, it's an option that's available 100% of the time.

GGMcThroway · 2025-05-02T22:58:19+00:00

Society no longer gifts men with unlimited lenience and plausible deniability when it comes to harassing women. Boohoo. Being a manipulative, unpleasant asshole has consequences now. How sad.

Get platonic friends. Find a community. Actually get to know people. Myopically trying to shortcut your way into a woman's pants isn't going to work if you have literally nothing to offer.

LateKate96 · 2025-05-02T21:32:44+00:00

After reading the comments, I think the issue is y’all have zero resilience.

I can’t imagine giving up dating after getting rejection 3 times, or even 10 times (and I’ve been rejected a lot)

But here we have men like “yea I approached 2 people and they said no, guess it’s hopeless”

RelevantJackWhite · 2025-05-02T20:48:50+00:00

poisoning the well

I don't think this means what you think it means.

My wife made the first move, and I wasn't "high status" or "extremely attractive" when she did so. I even turned her down and she broke through that friendzone. But regardless, nothing you've indicated about the warm approach is actually a problem that would preclude you from dating people that way.

Usual-Revolution-718 · 2025-05-02T22:18:24+00:00

You have options, they might not be good options or maybe they are too picky. It could be a mixture of both.

If you some good traits (attractive , muscular , appear well educated , successful, etc), you would get a choosing signal to approach .

Stop focusing on gals who don't show interest, or ones you woudlnt be involved in.

Simply, focus on being the best version of yourself. I'm not talking about meditation or channeling, but working on your health, career , fitness , education , etc.

DoinIt989 · 2025-05-03T01:51:27+00:00

If you're from a first world country, you can get your passport.

joeyjusticeco · 2025-05-02T22:32:00+00:00

Counterpoint: If a man cannot figure out how to cold approach without consistently garnering "social stigma" that's a him problem.

Salient_pointz · 2025-05-02T23:12:20+00:00

How about just develop enough social awareness to be able to build attraction, read signals, and understand when an approach will be well received?

If you aren’t pretty sure already then maybe don’t go there.

Also if you are approaching in the right way even if it’s a no, it should still feel like a nice interaction for all concerned.

It’s not that hard if you have some understanding and consideration for what it might be like for the woman being approached.

MongoBobalossus · 2025-05-02T21:16:31+00:00

I’m not sure how to respond to somebody who believes this, like actually believes this.

Just give up already if you truly feel this is the case, because you don’t seem open to any way of meeting a partner beyond them magically materializing in your bedroom.

Sophiatab · 2025-05-02T21:28:53+00:00

Bullshit! Men have thousands of options. They just refuse to date the women who would be interested in them.

Accomplished-Pin3073 · 2025-05-02T21:05:02+00:00

Work on getting hotter 🔥 all u can do 🤷🏾‍♂️💯

nineworldseries · 2025-05-02T21:31:08+00:00

I (46M) met a woman (35F) who met my personal preferences on a dating app. I told her I thought she was beautiful, and I am now dating her. We have had sex now 10 times.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-05-02T23:32:38+00:00

Men have more options than ever, but the prerequisite barriers of entry for each of them are higher than ever.

Men are also expected to be much more as a partner than ever.

This has its benefits and drawbacks overall.

Ceazer4L · 2025-05-02T23:41:32+00:00

We as men need to learn to love the self (not love yourself) but the self, the person and who a person is by talking this way you’re calculating your relationship with the opposite sex, love everyone not just women go about loving people for how they are and who they are, and if you sense wicked intent back away from them.

Men need to realise that women are human beings who can approach evil intent just like any man, if you find a woman that you’re attracted to you must be aware if she has a kind heart do not lust over body and appearance, tell her she has a beautiful aura about her a beautiful presences if she seems off back away from her.

You see the issue with men now is that they apply love with logic, calculus and maths it’s none of those things there is no set rules or regulation only feeling and as long as you understand that it takes a lot of work to understand someone and that it’s all about just getting to know someone who you want to be with. This post comes off as hedonistic like you want a trophy or reward, remember folks you only need one woman to love not multiple.

beaumagician · 2025-05-02T21:34:11+00:00

Just talk to people. This shit is a numbers game, the more you play the more you win. Simple.

RayAP19 · 2025-05-02T22:56:30+00:00

For the people suggesting that one simply socialize and build human connections, what about those of us who are loners and don't enjoy doing that? We screwed?

nineworldseries · 2025-05-02T21:50:18+00:00

Has there ever been a single unfuckable man that has had the introspection to realize that they're doing something that makes them unfuckable? i can't tell you what it is, what combo platter has rendered you sexless, that's above my pay grade, but I am 100% sure it's something.

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this-is-very · 2025-05-02T22:24:20+00:00

LMAO stop being controlled by people who don't have your best interest in mind.

Dionystocrates · 2025-05-03T01:13:36+00:00

Love how the only elaboration to Online Dating is "lol" 😂

The "Cold Approach" still works, but I only consider it when a woman shows clear signs of interest and, even then, I'd only approach if I'm in the headspace for that sort of thing and I find her attractive. Perhaps we should start calling this method the "Natural Approach" instead and leave "Cold Approach" to making a move regardless of signs of interest.

But, to reiterate, I personally never approach without signs of interest being sent my way first even if I find them attractive. In general (with exceptions), women control front-end selection (sex & entering a relationship) while men control back-end selection (sticking around for a long-term relationship / marriage).

OMWSpuds · 2025-05-03T02:52:46+00:00

The warm approach risk has always existed while cold approach used to be more acceptable. It's just something people have always had to accept, reaching out to express romantic or sexual interest is a risk and unfortunately the onus is still usually placed on men to take that risk.

Usually how things have gotten started for me is just being in an area like at a bar, beach, even work, and you just start talking to people and then you can tell by their signals if they are interested or they'll ask you to go somewhere or do something.

This was before my mental and anxiety issues kinda got worse, and/but I get it because this type of organic process is something that socially awkward or averse people don't naturally fall into and those types of people are well overrepresented here or on the internet.

sunsista_ · 2025-05-03T14:06:57+00:00

Stop saying “men”when you really mean unattractive people. Plenty of men have a ton of options. Plenty of women don’t.

Miss_Acassia-9374 · 2025-05-03T14:38:59+00:00

Skip church and join a volleyball league, go to a dog park, enjoy a local trivia night... If you aren't religious, don't look for a mate where they are. Best of luck!

False-Purple3882 · 2025-05-03T14:52:18+00:00

This is melodramatic nonsense. Nobody outside of pill spaces even knows what a “warm approach” is. They just approach women they know. That is the norm. OLD is for people who struggle socially. And I don’t believe men are really all that concerned with “bothering women in public” enough to avoid cold approaches, unless they’re particularly awkward or shy in which case they weren’t going to do it anyway.

CroslandHill · 2025-05-03T15:05:40+00:00

I don’t think it’s social stigma that inhibits men from cold approach, it’s just that they lack the necessary charisma or just don’t know the best way to start an interaction.

In many if not most cases such skills can be learned. But I have tried OLD, speed dating and hobby groups, studied cold approach but realised that I have serious internal issues which will prevent it working. For now, have put everything on hold because my experiences of the last 3-4 years (or lack of) have taught me that I’m too emotionally damaged for women to find me desirable. I never meet anyone I’m attracted to through friendship groups. Maybe theres hope in the mid-future but for the time being I’m not going to keep throwing good money after bad.

UndeniablyGone · 2025-05-03T15:25:58+00:00

And yet, plenty of men out there right now have girlfriends or wives. I think it's a skill issue for you, dawg.

GummieLindsays · 2025-05-03T15:47:27+00:00

The "Third Place" doesn't really exist anymore. And it affects both genders, not just men, and not just women. This is why dating is hard.

Remriel · 2025-05-03T18:30:05+00:00

I'm so glad I'm gay in this life

My karma must be good

farotm0dteguy · 2025-05-03T18:39:08+00:00

Escorts are my go to just use a reputible agemcy if u can so you dont get jail baited or robbed Dont bring anything valuble but you dick and you should be good

PhaseExtra1132 · 2025-05-03T19:14:50+00:00

Pay a match maker. Like the old days

RonPalancik · 2025-05-03T20:20:15+00:00

I am old and out of touch with the scene, but when I was active, I only ever dated people that I already knew.

Do y'all really not, just, like, know people?

I know people from school and work, sure, but also just people from my neighborhood, friends of my family, the family of my friends, friends of friends. People I met while doing things. People I meet at arties, concerts, plays, art shows, lectures, book events, music events, art shows, community events, activists. Regulars at the bar. I'm a musician so I know people in my band, people in other bands; we go to each other's shows and by extension we meet extension the people they know, and so on.

Hundreds of people, just by being out in the world, without even making a deliberate project of it or viewing people through the lens of whether or not they aredating fodder.

Like do you really only encounter either (a) people who are off limits and (b) people you are expressly trying to date?

FearlessSea4270 · 2025-05-02T21:47:01+00:00

It’s that y’all take rejection so terribly that even the online criticism of your imaginary actions are enough to turn you away from action.

Everyone’s going to be mad at you at some point for something. Being a good person is doing the personal calculation of where your values lie and if you’re living them accordingly. That’s all that matters.

Stop giving a shit what people think of you. Just don’t be a perv or an asshole, and you’re good.

vesieco · 2025-05-02T22:18:53+00:00

Bro just go outside and talk to women lmao. Not rocket science

petellapain · 2025-05-03T02:12:57+00:00

Aquire passport, find a foreign woman. Thats the only viable option but it's extremely effective

CatchPhraze · 2025-05-03T02:29:22+00:00

Nobody who takes a no has ever been stigmatized for talking to a girl at a bar, or a party or a trivia night or ect ect.

Yes there is always some risk a person will be mean when you talk to them. That's life.

richOldFuck · 2025-05-03T00:43:07+00:00

You’ve ruined a friendship by being attracted to the woman. Stop being “friends” with the opposite sex and ask them out.

habbo311 · 2025-05-03T00:49:48+00:00

Legalize prostitution in America today

Clutterboxx · 2025-05-03T03:35:06+00:00

You have options, if you're rich, good looking, tall and charismatic.

BlackRichard420 · 2025-05-03T05:20:23+00:00

Warm approach still works if you have you shit together. But most men dont have friend groups that include women so they dont happen.

I wonder if cold approach is as bad as ppl say? I should start trying it i have nothing to lose

WanabeInflatable · 2025-05-03T05:50:27+00:00

If game is rigged against you still have an option not to play

Blue__Ronin · 2025-05-02T20:54:33+00:00

rejection ≠ it will never work

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2025-05-02T21:35:44+00:00

i live in eastern europe right now, there are no such issues here honestly. certainly not the same extent as in america. but i still highly doubt that you can't find women to date there either. sure, it gets more difficult once you leave college, especially if you don't like (or have success with) the dating apps. you need to be more active to keep up a social life, it's not as easy as it is in your teens and early 20s. but most women are interested in dating and relationships, just live life and read the room.

MrNotSoFunFact · 2025-05-03T06:05:42+00:00

All this bullshit you're talking about is neuroticism imposed on society by deranged women. The solution is to just ignore whatever the fuck a woman tells you about dating/ relationships and do whatever you want to

GKilat · 2025-05-03T02:29:56+00:00

Only viable pathway would be if women made the move, but that’s never gonna happen unless the guy holds decent status or is extremely attractive.

This narrative of status and looks being the only thing that matters seems to be coming from the minority of men trying to manipulate the majority to just give up. You only need to be average or above average in looks with compatible interests and personality to find a long term partner. Status and extreme attractiveness is only very important for short term flings and casual relationships which I would assume is not what majority of men want.

That said, I do believe women should start to initiating on men as well instead of just waiting for men all the time. Men and women should equally be able to initiate on someone that they like and is not a gendered action. Warm approach is much better than cold ones because there is a level of familiarity between two people in contrast to cold ones which can be uncomfortable for some to be approached by a stranger.

GENERALSECRTRY · 2025-05-03T14:07:02+00:00

lt;s natural selection. this ensures that the low value men are weeded out.

l always noticed that the guys who say that "warm approach risks ruining a friendship", usually have no friends, or social groups to begin with

lf you;re a normal guy, you shouldn;t need methods. using methods are usually for guys who aren;t going to attract females anyway

lf you come from a decent family, that will get you into the right social habits, which paves the way for natural ways to meet females without having to resort to "methods", cold approach, or other wacko ways

when it comes to low value men's inability to find mates, it usually has more to do with his personality than his methods. take walmart for example. they don;t really have to do any advertizing right? even the walmart gas station. you can;t even see their prices from the street. but guess what? their pumps are alawys packed. so if u a low value man, u can use methods, cold approach all you want, but at the end of the day, if u got nothing to offer, it;s just wasted effort

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2025-05-03T10:27:18+00:00

I'm not currently doing anything to find anyone because I don't want anyone. Women aren't worth the crumbs under my table anymore. They are all manipulative, emotionally abusive and will eventually cheat on you, divorce you and take half your stuff. No thanks. I'll keep my stuff. The only girl I need is my cat. Otherwise, you are correct imo. Men have no options for those reasons. And the fact there are zero good women left. All the good ones are 55-60 years old and older and either married or widowed.

chocobococo · 2025-05-03T00:58:33+00:00

My husband and I were in the same "goth" scene. And that's how we met. He was super shy and never approached me. Then one day I noticed him and I did all the asking out. In fact a lot of my gal pals approached their men originally. I don't think women have a problem approaching at all. Just focus on being the best you that you can be. Touch grass sometimes, get a good hobby. My dude is a drummer and that was my opening with him. Been together 14+ years, since I was 18. Have faith it'll work out one day, improve yourself, go to goth clubs, that's my advice lol

Title	Men have no options.
Author	Worldly-Box6080
Upvotes	215
Comments	485
Date	May 2, 2025 8:37 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1kdb7cn/men_have_no_options/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-have-no-options.1551249 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551249

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