why do so many men look down on sex workers (escorts, prostitutes, onlyfans model, sugarbabies etc ) but at the same time also consume their services/content?

Complete-Record5167 · 2025-11-16T21:48:20+00:00

Why do women defend sex workers and say sex work is real work and legitimize it while simultaneously shaming men who use those women’s services?

midzeitgeist · 2025-11-16T22:20:18+00:00

Because (a lot of) men like sex while simultaneously believing that making a career out of it doesn't take much talent or effort relative to basically any other job. When you've been socialized since birth to believe that your job is inherent to your worth as a man, seeing women who (you think) make a lot of money by selling something that requires no ingenuity will cause instant resentment. There's also the inherent resentment of having to pay women for something that women (seem to) essentially get for free with significantly less difficulty and social stigma. To (a lot of) men, the sex work industry inherently preys on their achilles' heel of having a high sex drive while navigating a growingly complicated road to getting sex naturally. There's nuance missing from that perspective, but I empathize with it.

PassengerCultural421 · 2025-11-16T22:01:01+00:00

Switch the genders.

And the comment section will be full of.

"Women aren't a monolith"

“Those are two different women, stop generalizing.”

"Women aren't a hive mind"

"Once again a PPD man shows that he can't tell the difference between individual women"

When the topic is men, everyone suddenly becomes an expert in “cognitive dissonance,” “hypocrisy,” “wanting your cake and eating it too,” and all those pop-psych phrases. People act like the same man who hates porn must also be the one consuming it, or the guy who trashes sex workers must also be the one paying them.

But if it were women? Everyone instantly understands the concept of different individuals making different choices.

nonquitt · 2025-11-16T22:51:38+00:00

Difference between having someone clean your toilet and being the guy that cleans toilets — it’s low status work that is still in demand. As to why it’s considered low status — that’s a whole ball of yarn

OMWSpuds · 2025-11-16T21:59:25+00:00

Why do women have zero respect for unattractive beta male provider guys but still want their money.

Logos1789 · 2025-11-16T23:04:01+00:00

For men who are unable to secure the sex and relationships they desire, their sex drive is a burden.

While there are some men who have easy access to sex with women they consent to, who also choose to pay for it, I’ll address the majority of sex work clientele.

They don’t want to pay for it.

The “satisfaction” of their sex drive only being feasible by using sex workers is essentially a tax on these men, who merely want to experience some semblance of what more desirable men get for free and more frequently.

Most of these men, without the inherent, self-perpetuating motivation that more desirable men have (near certain access to sex with women they consent to), often occupy jobs that are stressful without the requisite financial compensation.

For reasons similar to those they are usually socially low status for, they don’t excel in the workplace enough to get the plum jobs that are well paid.

So putting it all together:

Lesser desirable men who want to experience some semblance of the sexual experiences that their biology is constantly nudging them toward, that is culturally emphasized, that for normal people leads to splitting expenses and better living conditions, that more desirable men essentially get to take for granted,

have to pay money they live stressful lives to earn (the work itself, the commensurate low status, the resulting fewer resources to mitigate stress, etc.),

to women who simply exist with greater desirability due to immutable characteristics,

for sex, which is comparatively much easier than most jobs (this is especially true of digital sex work). Also, paying for it is culturally stigmatized and lowers one’s status if it becomes known to others.

…that’s a recipe for resentment.

Their biological drive is basically being exploited by women.

These men have low status due in part to being sexless.

To then be made to pay good money to women for something as simple as sex, which they have better quality of with other men for free, is a humiliation ritual.

Ragazzocolbass8 · 2025-11-16T22:08:50+00:00

Because they want to fuck them, not start a relationship.

RaidenTheBlue · 2025-11-16T21:44:20+00:00

“People cheer at executions but don’t want to be pals with someone that chops off heads? Curious…”

Someone living in the 1600’s probably

Soft-Neat8117 · 2025-11-17T02:43:12+00:00

Kind of like how women look down on men in low income jobs like fast food or retail, but still go to those places to get their services.

throwaway5763750 · 2025-11-16T21:45:54+00:00

I don't think that many men subscribe to OF or use escorts. I agree that a lot of men watch porn yet look down on pornstars though.

detectivelowry · 2025-11-17T04:18:37+00:00

My problem with modern sex workers (emphasys on modern) is what it does to other women not yet in the field. You didn't see prostitutes 20 years ago boasting about their lifestyle, quite the contrary, it was almost universally considered a terrible line of work, a sacrifice, and the "agents" trying to drag women into this line of work where clearly seem as predatorial. The modern whore however will gladly advertise how much money she's making and sell the illusion to impressionable young girls that this is a lifestyle to aim for and I've been acquinted with enough of those impressionable young girls to know it's a death sentence for any chance they might've had at a happy life. The most violent, agressive pimp is a saint compared to the modern whore with social media outreach, it's like a gun X nuclear bomb scenario

just_a_place · 2025-11-17T04:29:51+00:00

Because we are aware that our physical attraction to women is a flaw and weakness that women exploit.

The goal is to figure out a way to either stop thirsting after women or divert this attraction, distract from it, or drown it out via other means like porn, drugs/meds, or stoic practices.

Sweet_Discount4485 · 2025-11-16T22:25:15+00:00

That anybody has $10,000 to burn on paying a woman to stuff action figures up her ass - and that her body is hot enough to command such an expenditure - is kind of infuriating when most people are broke af doing 40 hour work weeks for much less appealing assholes.

phantompersona1023 · 2025-11-17T12:56:05+00:00

Probably speaking from personal experience but I think it comes from a place of disgust. In the sense that we don't want to consume this kind of content however due to our lack of ability to get access to sexual gratification irl we're essentially "forced" (in a sense) to use these services.

Much like people who despise their jobs but feel like they're forced to work there because of bills and life expenses, we don't like the fact that we watch porn or whatever but it's either we use it or just sit around sexually repressed and frustrated all day, which believe me is absolute hell.

Ego73 · 2025-11-16T21:43:00+00:00

That's a split goomba fallacy

polarpolarpolar · 2025-11-16T23:58:31+00:00

I think it’s for a similar reason that you don’t want be with a janitor but you still benefit from their services, or you don’t want to be with someone who works in fast food, but also you still eat at McDonald’s here and there.

Of course, I think the ones who use them the most dont actually look down on them, it’s well known that for onlyfans, most revenue often comes from a few whales who basically pay for pseudo relationships, quite the opposite of looking down on them, it’s them who are paying for the privilege of their attention. And that attention isn’t even real.

However the main point I want to make here is that OP is so exhausting when responding to these comments that I remember why I never comment anymore. They don’t want to actually change their view or learn about other viewpoints, they want to win arguments and beat down anyone who challenges the idea that the majority of men are hypocritical.

Zabadoodude · 2025-11-17T04:52:49+00:00

It depends on what you mean by being cruel towards them. I wouldn't get into a relationship with an ex sex worker, but otherwise, I wish them the best. It seems like that's the most common attitude men have towards them. Men don't owe women a relationship anymore than women owe men one.

Nodistractzens · 2025-11-16T22:55:13+00:00

Anecdotal of course, yet I've always known A TON of men who look down on whores, and don't consume their services/content.

joeyjusticeco · 2025-11-16T23:17:44+00:00

Some of the men looking down on the product aren't using it (and look down on those who do)

RealityCold4693 · 2025-11-17T01:08:17+00:00

Why do women have such a problem when men say they don’t wanna date something I could use a sex worker and not wanna go home with her

rothkochapel · 2025-11-17T08:56:56+00:00

why do people dislike public toilets for being dirty, smelly etc. but at the same time also use them?

Perfect_Sir4820 · 2025-11-16T21:48:10+00:00

The vast majority of men are not able to attract women for sex? Seriously dude you need to take a break from the internet and touch grass. Jfc... 🤦

Additional-Case4392 · 2025-11-16T21:58:30+00:00

Shameful behavior is looked down upon. Same reason 304s look down on tricks.

Pro-IDGAF · 2025-11-16T22:11:14+00:00

i don’t look down on hookers or escorts but the validation seekers on social media, they’re a different sort of type and yes i look down on them.

TheOneWhoThinketh · 2025-11-16T22:13:56+00:00

Your question is predicated on the premise that sex workers will satisfy men's needs, which I would argue is incorrect as most men seek female validation in multiple forms. Men will feel some satisfaction from using the services the sex workers offer in a transactional manner (paying for sex), but are not interested in investing resources into sex workers in the form of a relationship.

That being said, men are cruel to sex workers to try and shame women into not doing sex work, so that there is a bigger pool of women available for relationships.

KhadgarIsaDreadlord · 2025-11-17T11:57:39+00:00

"If you find being an assembly line worker to be a bad career choice, then how come you use power tools?"

I'm not visiting prostitutes and never will but it's very simple to understand. If you are a customer then you make a living likely from your proficiency or knowladge in your field. Hence why you have the disposible income to blow away on prostitutes. A prostitute on the other hand is only able to make a living by literally selling her body.

People who look down on prostitutes but also visit them at the same time don't want prostitution to go away, but they won't respect someone who makes their living by selling access to their body.

On porn it's even less hypocritical. Most people don't pay for the porn they consume. Even if someone does, they don't directly engage with the actors. If you put yourself out there for millions of men to wack off to, that says more about you than the men. The customers didn't archive the most intimate side of themselves to the internet for a quick buck, you did.

Ultimately, prostitution will never go away. Even if all men had a 100% change of getting a GF, the sex industry would still be thriving. As it has since before recorded history. I don't have a problem with prostitution existing, in fact it should be legalized, regulated and taxed.

But I will never have any respect for sex workers. I will never not see it as one of the most toxic, unstable and self-destructive industries out there. I don't believe that mentally stable, measured, intelligent people would ever have the desire or be okay with selling themselves.

Substantial_Video560 · 2025-11-17T13:32:49+00:00

I have the uppermost respect for escorts and prostitutes but not so much for OF and sugarbabies.

EugeneCezanne · 2025-11-17T18:12:26+00:00

Traditionally, a woman's value was tied to her "virtue." While many things have changed, this one is still hanging around, though in diminished significance. Call it culture lag.

geo_gan · 2025-11-16T22:03:15+00:00

I don’t look down in actual escorts/hookers who provide a sex for cash service. I do look down on onlyfans “models” because I am jealous that they can make so much easy money for basically nothing compared to the extremely hard slog that most men have to do for relative pennies compared to them. I don’t care about sugar babies either - they work for it I presume.

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MarioWilson122 · 2025-11-16T22:42:47+00:00

Well maybe they do so because they would rather that not be their way of releasing. Since its the best path for them they do their business but that doesnt mean they like said woman. Lets not act like the women in these professions care or don't look down on the men either, they are just glad to take their money.

SexCrispies · 2025-11-17T08:16:45+00:00

I don't get the question or contradiction. I do look down on most people and still consume their services and content. Why not?

PrecisionHat · 2025-11-17T14:15:31+00:00

Most people look down on sex work in their heart of hearts. Ask any woman, even if she herself is a sex worker, if she hopes her own children enter the trade when they become old enough to do so.

Chance_Dog_6281 · 2025-11-17T15:23:17+00:00

There are a lot of industries that provide services people need or often consume but the workers are looked down upon. People look down on fast food workers but their fat asses can't live without them. People use taxis all the time but taxi drivers are treated like shit (and often robbed or murdered). We all rely on food produced by farmers but it's common for people, particularly those from cities to shit on rural folk.

shadowrangerfs · 2025-11-18T02:19:54+00:00

Because you still want the service. Nobody dreams of being a McDonald's worker as a kid, but they still want their fries.

Neptune-Jnr · 2025-11-18T08:19:43+00:00

Somethings they aren't the same men
They only look down at them on certain topics like if he was asked to marry a sex worker but otherwise has no problem with them existing or beating his meat to them.

Low_Rich_5436 · 2025-11-18T11:01:36+00:00

They probably aren't the same people.

peeper_tom · 2025-11-18T11:05:14+00:00

Because we know about project monarch, and its unfulfilling and unsustainable for both parties. It does not satisfy the need, its like putting a plaster on a severed leg. Sex is about a spiritual union not just the physical aspect.

Ok_Use7 · 2025-11-16T23:10:51+00:00

Cognitive dissonance.

Jetpine9 · 2025-11-16T22:45:41+00:00

I wouldn't agree with this, but everyone took the bait eagerly, so there must be something to it. I would guess that men who consume sex content don't look down on the women who create sex content. I'm in a few 18+ themed subs and the men there are pretty enthusiastic about the content they consume and they are appreciative toward the women who create it. But, I guess, judging by all these replies, in some conservative backwaters the Madonna/Whore complex still rages in the hearts of men. And probably in the hearts of a few women.

Kreeps_United · 2025-11-16T22:54:33+00:00

I'm guessing they see it as women having "power" over them or living on easy mode. That's me going off what I've heard some men say.

Personally, I think any woman who gives me a chance to see their boobs is awesome.

midzeitgeist · 2025-11-16T22:08:06+00:00

Because (a lot of) men like sex while simultaneously believing that making a career out of it doesn't take much talent or effort relative to basically any other job. There's also the inherent resentment of having to pay for something from a woman that women (seem to, in men's eyes) essentially get for free without any of the social stigma. To (a lot of) men, the sex work industry inherently preys on their achilles heel of a high sex drive. There's a lot of nuance missing from that perspective, but I can see how it happens.

Destinyciello · 2025-11-16T22:16:18+00:00

Uhhh because dickie like pussy. Why else?

When we "look down" on them. We're basically saying "all you're good for is sex, we wouldn't be caught dead in a relationship with you". It's a social signal for women not to engage in this disgusting behavior if you ever want to have a husband and a family.

SecondEldenLord · 2025-11-16T23:37:30+00:00

The men with no gratifying sex lives consume their content. The ones with no options for sex are consuming their content. You think top tier men consume their content or give them money? Nope. And the reason we look down on them it's because they further promote degeneracy.

Barely-moral · 2025-11-16T22:22:44+00:00

I do look down on companies that use child labor but I refuse to live my life without my phone.

Does that make sense?

DGenerationMC · 2025-11-17T01:02:37+00:00

Please find/present specific examples of men looking down on sex workers while simultaneously consuming their services and content.

I am 100% sure they exist but your post just comes off as so "trust me bro," generalizing and up your own ass.

riceboykr · 2025-11-16T22:11:16+00:00

It's other women who look down on those women. Men generally don't care.

YeaNobody · 2025-11-16T22:08:39+00:00

I don't look down at any of it...well except IG/OF/ect models because that's just bullshit and I'd rather fap and spend 0....but I know that ultimately sex on a clock is very unappealing.....I have no interest in my desires to be timed.

Gold_Sheepherder6569 · 2025-11-16T22:11:44+00:00

Like another has said the gomba fallacy is one. Even for the men who can't get sex and would benefit from using the services of a sex worker, they can think that sex work is bad for society because of their moral system

preferablyno · 2025-11-16T23:25:46+00:00

Look down on them how? I mean I don’t think it’s really like something to aspire to, if that’s what you’re asking. It’s generally extremely low prestige work, it’s aimed at serving base desires, some people such as the religious types think of it in terms of being morally wrong and want to prohibit it completely, it’s generally used by people who are lacking in some way.

I wouldn’t say I actually look down on it, there are lots of jobs that need doing and I firmly believe in pluralistic society, but also it isn’t something I look up to at all

LoudPiece6914 · 2025-11-16T23:32:15+00:00

We should separate sugar babies from the other categories of SW’s. Sugar babies because they’re just using men and they are SW’s that pretend not to B SW’s. If they are in a straightforward transactional relationship, fine that’s their business but often times they will want to treat the “relationship” like a relationship when it benefits them, and transactional when it benefits them. I think the bad feelings to sugar babies is warranted unlike the other categories.

While don’t think it’s a good idea to date a sex worker seriously based off of my personal experience. They’re just regular people doing a job and shouldn’t be looked down on. I wouldn’t date one because they see the worst aspects of men through their job and find it hard to respect men. Which made my life unnecessarily difficult because I am being punished for things that other people did. But as friends they are good normal people.

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