CMV: Wanting a virgin/low body count woman isn't about pussy

crookedsummer2019 · 2022-09-04T23:30:17+00:00

If you prefer virgins or low n count women that’s fine, but don’t assume that having a low n count or being a virgin equals no drama, no trauma, or no trust issues.

It would be very naive to assume that. Lots of non sexual/ non romantic relationship things happen in someone’s life to give them trust issues or have trauma, or be jaded.

thetruthishere_ · 2022-09-04T23:53:00+00:00

Just fyi, many people's trauma comes from their upbringing and relationship with their primary caregivers. It's not connected to virginity.

Kalvaire · 2022-09-04T23:25:08+00:00

Virgin woman here. You know that women can have trauma and baggage not related to sex, right?

therealcosmicnebula · 2022-09-04T23:51:56+00:00

I would say the same for men.

I think having too many sexual partners ruins people in general. Too much experience isn't a good thing in my opinion.

I don't want to be fucked like how you fucked X Y and Z woman in the past.

That in and of its self is extremely unattractive to me. Just thinking about it turns me off.

Though, I know alot of people who are "impressed" by skills their sexual partners have developed with others. It's just not for me.

It lacks closeness and intimacy and authenticity.

I also think too much experience leads people to being unhappy with what they get in the end. It's easy to feel satisfied when you're not constantly comparing to past partners or events.

But men and women who have slept around all have this degree of "this isn't good enough" when it comes to sex. More nitpicky. And more prone to dissatisfaction.

And I personally have no interest in entertaining someone whose tastebuds have been corrupted by too many flavors. As I find it exhausting.

Super-Peoplez-S0Lt · 2022-09-04T23:26:10+00:00

People are well within their rights to have their preferences. Just don’t be an asshat about it. You can have a preference for a “low body count” partner or SO but that doesn’t justify slut shaming people. Just don’t date people you aren’t attracted to without irrationally hating them.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-09-05T02:35:03+00:00

It's not about drama either. It's about "the ickiness" these men feel when they think about a woman's sexual past, mainly.

Here are the reasons many guys want low N women:

-- scared/neurotic about STDs, but you can just get tested tbf

-- insecure about their own sexual ability in comparison to past partners

-- low sociosexuality THEMSELVES, maybe virgins themselves, wanting a partner with a similar count

-- they are disgusted by promiscuous women on a base level and justify it with post hoc pseudoscience about oxytocin and pair bonding

-- your point about toxicity and drama

Why I don't care:

-- I always use protection at first

-- I am medium-high sociosexuality

-- I'm confident in my sexual abilities and ability to put in the work to make a woman think I'm her best partner ever, even out of XYZ dozens

-- I vet for drama itself

On that last point, vetting for drama is a great idea. And N count SOMETIMES is a proxy for more dramatism and toxicity. But not always or even usually. Drama sucks. But it's usually pretty clear who the drama queens are. I'd rather date a high SS woman who fucked around because she loves sex and fucking, than a N of 2 woman who got cheated on by both men and is absolutely distraught and hung up on either or both , and thinks toxic behavior is normal

cbiskkitsimp234 · 2022-09-05T03:00:49+00:00

Yikes. You do realise women all over the globe are sexually harassed, assaulted, molested and raped, etc. everyday? Regardless of their “virginity” or low body count status? The deduction you have formed on that is extremely ignorant.

Irrespective, everyone has some form of trauma anyway. It makes us human. You sound like you lack the ability to show empathy or sympathy. I would look into that.

Gigamon2014 · 2022-09-04T23:29:03+00:00

Virgin? No. Legit have no interest in going down that road.

Low body count? Yes. Honestly, I've dealt with women who've slept with more people than are currently online on this sub. I think sexually insatiable women sound good to those who have not experienced them but as someone who was deep into some divergent sexual communities, you start to realise they're often a fucking headache. So many of these women were perfectly decent people but they would always bombard you with their bullshit and need to dangle their ability to get other men over you. And ths laughable tragedy is that a lot of the women in these communities had an intense paranoia about male cheaters because they often knew the dudes women desired would have partners at home who didn't know about their double life.

I feel you really lose patience when you actually start becoming desirable as a man. High body count women strike me as those who target relatively sexually inexperienced men, these are often dudes who will put up with monkey branching and endless comparisons to either exes or backup dudes on the radar. When you become a man who can actually garner the attention of multiple desirable women simultaneously, you quickly learn just how irritating promiscuous women can be and, unless you're dealing with an absolute knockout or just have a fetish, you'll find yourself becoming sick of it mighty fast.

neetykeeno · 2022-09-05T00:46:20+00:00

So basically women who have experience of men already know men can be garbage and you're screwed without that ignorance on their part. You want someone's heart to break for the first time.

See girls, this is why it is important to tell all your virgin friends about your man troubles. They then get to know that men are frequently garbage without having had to bother with a man yet and they are ready to take none of that shit. Like getting vaccinated.

Poly_frolicher · 2022-09-05T13:34:37+00:00

So what I hear is you want to be the trauma the next guy has to deal with. If you go through women as much as your post implies, all you are doing is making shit for the next guy.

How about we just admit that trauma comes from many areas of life, and that childhood trauma sets up some people for more trauma as adults. Being unwilling to deal honestly with that trauma in someone you care about just makes you look like the jerk.

bunnakay · 2022-09-04T23:31:28+00:00

Why do men think they're immune to the same problems? If you're a virgin, too, knock yourself out. Otherwise, you're just a hypocrite.

Rook_Cross · 2022-09-05T03:35:34+00:00

"Trauma" is getting overused here. I think partners who are healthier mentally, physically, emotionally, are generally better bets. There's nothing wrong with wanting this, if you are one yourself. Most men are not. They then try to reason that men and women are different, so it's ok that they are not virgins and have been around the block and then some many times, and have serious baggage. That's all ok they say. It's not. Hypocrites, people who want others to accept them as is, while demanding better of others are bad people and not good partners. I think on some level we all know it's wrong to sleep around, have a religious sense of this, and so men seek out less promiscuous women while trying to pretend they are sinless, or less guilty, even if only in their own minds. They want to pretend they were always good boys and have a good life, with a good girl. It's an act though. They try and rationalize it in worldly terms, but it doesn't work. It's natural to want a good person, one who hasn't slept around. But if you're not the same, you have no place demanding it and it won't be forgiven you if you do.

pikecat · 2022-09-05T03:52:44+00:00

Some women with lots of experience with men are much better at relationships than inexperienced ones.

For most things in life, experience makes you better. People with problems are people with problems, no matter what their experiences.

operapeach · 2022-09-04T23:59:35+00:00

my friend have u ever heard of daddy issues? you’re correct that hbc women are more likely to have relationship trauma but being single and having few partners is not a guarantee of a clean slate, and you shouldn’t be expecting a “trauma free” status anyway. chances are you have baggage and bullshit of your own that’s equally if not more annoying to deal with, such as expecting that no one will ever be curious or ask you questions

Barneysparky · 2022-09-05T01:56:33+00:00

If you have been spending time on the manosphere reading about AWALT and learning to not listen to what she tells you.

Congratulations. You bring as much if not more baggage to the table as someone with a couple of failed relationships.

malazanbettas · 2022-09-05T10:19:00+00:00

Non virgin woman here. You realise women can end relationships for reasons other than trauma right? Just because someone fails vetting doesn’t mean they hurt my feelings.

Jim_sell · 2022-09-04T23:54:44+00:00

It makes sense if you're under like 23, but older than that, wanting a virgin is a red flag in itself. Being with a strong, mentally healthy woman is one thing, but if you're so scared of being with someone with a less than flawless past points to someone being weak and cowardly.

You will, eventually, have no choice but to deal with trauma and difficulties in your life, as well as your pure unblemished virgin girlfriend. There are ways of processing the traumas of life without becoming toxic. Trying to constantly run away from issues like a frightened puppy is pathetic when you've outgrown "pure virgin" status yourself.

Btw as others have pointed out, virgins can absolutely have mountains of baggage, trauma, etc.

jjlew922 · 2022-09-04T23:35:06+00:00

So you’re saying that women who have a lot of sexual partners have bullshit and trauma but Joe is that not also applicable with men? Do men who pump and dump or watch a ton of porn in hoping to that just as bad and damaged? Disregarding that argument is just as stupid, IMHO. A woman equally weirded out dealing with a man with trust issues is real. In the end we should be looking for a mutually healthy, normal and loving partnership. You won’t be able to get that with declarations like this.

Madadepp · 2022-09-04T23:21:03+00:00

Ok let’s imagine a girl that had only one relationship and got a big trauma for it since it was toxic (it can happen a lot in the first one bcs the girl will not have past experiences and will not see the previous toxic signs to get out fast before the biggest damage). If the girls choose you as her second boyfriend obviously she will be psychologically damaged. Now imagine a girl that had 20 hookups and 0 relationships, this girl will not have any post trauma due to relationships. So maybe the point of your post should be not dating girls that had toxic relationships before (since this is what you want), and actually nothing to do with virginity.

figuringMylife · 2022-09-05T00:20:17+00:00

then get one.

Effective-Ad6918 · 2022-09-05T00:32:29+00:00

This whole body count debate is stupid. How the hell does anyone know anyone’s number for real??

sublimemongrel · 2022-09-05T01:11:57+00:00

I’m not a virgin and I have no sexual trauma from my past. You sound like you just want an inexperienced woman with no past whatsoever.

If you’ve got a body count by your logic you yourself have trauma and should be avoided.

recoverybae · 2022-09-05T01:16:28+00:00

Virginity doesn’t guarantee trauma free. A virgin woman could have been sexually abused as a child or had other number of traumatic things happen. I think you’re equating the number of partners someone has with emotional baggage and trust issues and that doesn’t translate well in real life. People are complex and could have everything you described and could still be virgins.

Key_Refrigerator_636 · 2022-09-05T04:15:31+00:00

not sure why you assume that a high body count equates to numerous relationships. she could've just been sleeping around. also, what's with the blanket generalization that high body count = unresolved trauma? unresolved trauma can be a part of anyone's life, regardless of body count. and lastly, this is a really hypocritical view if you yourself have a higher body count than she does.

TheElusivePeacock · 2022-09-05T13:15:43+00:00

Then date and find one? This ain’t a dating site my guy, have your preferences and go forth!

The idea of virgin women having no baggage is hilarious but hey, if you manage to find one that’ll have you, you can learn that on your own. I actually know two 30 year old virgin women. Their lack of relationship and life experience is absolutely baggage. It’s basically destroyed their self esteem (much like you virgin men) and they are 100% not trusting and mental unhealthy. Normally have to be doped up just to be around people. Having zero relationship experience and getting no attention from the opposite sex will absolutely turn you into a toxic untrusting mess. They always believe someone’s prettier and wonder why you’re with them. They will absolutely create problems and fights because they have no experience and no self esteem. That’s exactly why I wouldn’t want a 30 year old virgin man. 1. I like sex and don’t enjoy being sexually disappointed. 2. But if you’ve gone that long without sex or relationship experience, and it wasn’t your choice? It absolutely has created some mental baggage and issues with you. We see it on PPD all the time. People without relationship and life experience don’t magically get a relationship and know how to act. But again, if you can find one my guy, hopefully it doesn’t turn out that way for you.

NidaleesMVP · 2022-09-05T03:23:29+00:00

What a dumb post.

2022-09-04T23:42:06+00:00

There are other ways to care about virginity/low-n.

Fusiontron · 2022-09-04T23:59:42+00:00

I tend to think this sort of thing is a non issue because people self sort by body count due to correlated measures. Sort of like how no guy really needs to worry about being a rich doctor and losing half his money after marrying a waitress. It's unlikely for such a pairing to happen to begin with.

Glittering_Ad_1415 · 2022-09-05T02:35:56+00:00

Ex-virgin that gave my virginity to my current boyfriend and made his life hell over my paranoia. Media teaches women that men cheat. Most girls know to look out for this by the time they are even interested in dating.

Draco359 · 2022-09-05T03:39:14+00:00

Yes it is.

It's about getting sex and possibly a child with less effort, compared to what most blue pill men have to deal with, when they accept that in order to maximize their chances of getting laid and possibly having a child, is by going through high body count women, who probably have bad traumas relating to past relationships.

You can be in a bad sexless relationship regardless of whether you are male or female.

Realistically speaking, I'd argue most girls who fall under your preferred category are aged around 12-17/18 in most countries.

Not saying it's not a valid preference to have, I'm just arguing that the chances of you finding a woman that fits the profile described by you and is legal to date or wife up are stupidly small.

ConsultJimMoriarty · 2022-09-05T03:55:22+00:00

Question: How old are you and how high is 'too high'?

AreOut · 2022-09-05T07:29:14+00:00

there are traumatised virgins as well, like girls who lost months with several guys that bolted as soon as the other girl gave them what they wanted

also it's trauma that makes most older girls stay virgins

Lisavela · 2022-09-05T08:14:36+00:00

Do you also have a low body count ? As someone with a low body count I don’t even entertain people with high body counts

domdomdom333 · 2022-09-05T09:28:19+00:00

Don't jump the fence just yet. People can still have been in relationships and developed traumas and not have had sex yet.

elvensnowfae · 2022-09-05T14:54:28+00:00

Virgins can have trauma as well. I was groped and sexualized so much before I was 20. It was disgusting and made me hate men and not wanna date for many many years. I had issues trusting and guess what? I was a virgin with only 2 boyfriends before all that.

Eventually I dated and got married but into my 30’s I’m still in therapy for sexual trauma.

I kind of understand your point but I just want you to know virgins can have trauma/trust issues as well.

FancyCocktailOlive · 2022-09-06T01:27:13+00:00

No, it’s about men wanting to own women and not wanting to be compared to other men. It’s 100% misogynistic and selfish.

No decent man uses the word “pussy.”

2022-09-05T04:29:06+00:00

I’m 38 and my body count is 3. I’m still pretty emotionally damaged, lmao.

anon018274031 · 2022-09-05T08:01:22+00:00

Body count of 1 didn’t protect Mr number 2 from having to deal with my sex related issues. In fact I think having such a low body count made the issues worse!

A lot of low body count women are low body count because they have issues. So I’m not quite sure why you think going for them somehow avoids that?

2022-09-05T08:33:16+00:00

It's so adamantly clear that you do not know jackshit about human psychology or relationships. Also, inexperienced people did not acquire the ability to trust. Yes, that is an ability. They also do not know how to act. They are way easier to manipulate though. That is why manipulative men prefer inexperienced girls. Not women, girls.

lilaltdoll · 2022-09-05T10:29:18+00:00

Honestly I feel like men like you prefer virgin and lower body count women because you know it's easier to take advantage of and use younger naive women who haven't learned those harsh lessons yet.

Holiday-Reach-8948 · 2022-09-05T13:09:56+00:00

I mean, the same can be true for men.

Obsessing over body count is unhealthy IMO. Even a virgin can have trains issues (i.e. taught that sex us a dirty thing).

xatnnylf · 2022-09-05T00:09:01+00:00

can't make a wife outta a hoe

ViolentTakeByForce · 2022-09-04T23:13:29+00:00

The only people who are really going to disagree with you are women who have been run through for the most part, or women who know they are going to hoe around and don’t want to have the repercussions of that.

I don’t see any reason a man would say he prefers a high body count woman. At best they may be neutral.

And just having a low body count doesn’t make you worse off in bed. I banged a pornstar for 2 months. She was fun because she could legit come multiple times if you knew what you were doing, before she became sensitive. She startfished sex until I made little jabs about it(amazing BJs though). Best sex I’ve had was a virgin to me. No cap. Only downside is she is difficult to make come, you just really have to take your time.

It’s a beautiful thing to learn/teach each other what works during sex and bringing that out of each other. Otherwise whatever you are getting from the woman you are with, she’s already given it to someone else. And if number count shouldn’t matter and doesn’t mean anything, then let your men fuck around and open up the relationship on his side. Of course most women here wouldn’t agree to it, but women are even more affected by number count by men. So again, if it means nothing, don’t worry about it.

Main-Leek7908 · 2022-09-04T23:27:15+00:00

Girls that have a high body count had multiple relationships that didn't work giving them a lot of trauma and trust issues.

Not necessarily. Women like casual sex too.

Sastracha · 2022-09-05T16:52:49+00:00

I prefer a woman with a decent sample size,so that she knows my worth and understands that she’s not missing out on anything.

PassMyGuard · 2022-09-05T17:14:19+00:00

Other reasons women may have a high n count:

*They went through a phase *They just have a really high sex drive and are adventurous *They explored their sexuality when they were younger to figure out what they liked

There are like infinite other possible reasons for a high n count than “girl has a fuck ton of trauma that will carry over to the present”

Specialist-Action-33 · 2022-09-05T03:20:38+00:00

Virgins have their own issues to deal with. Only time I agree that men wanr a low n-count woman is if they have a low n-count themselves. If you banged 10 females and expecting to wife up a virgin then you're a hypocrite. Women can be in relationships and have lots of baggage but didn't have sex and still deal with trauma. The only time a woman with a high body count is bad is because of her poor decision making.

That said you may get a lot of pushback from women with high n-counts because they have the mindset that "yeah we slept around but we deserve monogamy too". Those women have the end goal of sleeping around and once they are in an LTR it negates everything that they had done up until that point. Those women are just as hypocritical as the men who slept with 10 women but expect to wife a virgin.

beleidigtewurst · 2022-09-05T15:30:40+00:00

It is absolutely natural, logical and reasonable to avoid women with high body count.

There is exactly 0 need to have to explain why.

Just-Pie-5579 · 2022-09-05T16:50:39+00:00

Oh boy I wish it was about pussy, because this is just dumb. Does it mean that you want to traumatize her with your dick? Or did you traumatize your exes by having sex with them? Are you willing to marry this virgin so that she knows you will not traumatize her? Or is it just everyone else's dick?

SilentFroggy · 2022-09-05T00:50:11+00:00

Nah bro. We want virgin/low body count because they haven’t been used up. That’s the only reason. Be honest with yourself.

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-09-05T01:35:09+00:00

These are pretty great reasons for not wanting a girl who has slept around a lot or is not a virgin. Personally I believe it does have a lot to do with pussy but it's not only because of that. I personally believe that some of the best girls are the ones with low body count and for me it's because I could never take a girl seriously for a relationship when she has been ran through more time than the Holland tunnel and passed around like a lit blunt at a party. Girls with high body counts are for recreational use only. They're basically ruined and broken women. Human petri dishes even. You can't wife up a hoe because hoes don't act right. No self-respecting man worth his salt wants to commit to and marry a girl who so many other guys have already had. I don't want to marry a girl or even have a girl for a girlfriend who's had sex with a lot of guys and had a lot of different dicks in her. There's nothing wife material about a girl who has been fucked by a lot different men, who've had sex with a lot of different men. As for virgins because of the whore culture of today's society it's going to be borderline impossible to find a girl who is gorgeous and truly a virgin. In today's world it's been made cool and popular to be a slut. It's been and being encouraged and normalize for girls to sleep around be dressed out in public like they're in their bedrooms and not chaste. Girls who want sleeping around or are not virgins will be shamed and called basic bitches. Young girls want to be cool popular and liked so they'll end up having sex with a lot of guys being sexual on streaming platforms become onlyfans thots and have sex for money. So men today can eliminate 90% of sexually desirable women when it comes to getting a worthwhile girlfriend.

infinitofluxo · 2022-09-04T23:35:13+00:00

To my it is just about signaling she likes to love and be loved. A woman with high body count means she was pretty happy without love most of her life and then when the game becomes harder for her because she is aging, and fearing missing marriage/children, she wants to be seen as relationship material.

A person just don't grow to be a loving partner by fucking around for fun. We have to love people and learn about it, feel a heart being broken, knowing better how to take relationships more maturely and become a marital couple.

Women can find sex very easily, men can't unless he is in the top. Also, men can fuck around with prostitutes and low quality women because they can't find a decent woman to love him back, not because he enjoys this shit, but we need the sex and human touch.

A woman that decides to do sex for fun has the choice of taking a good man for a partner and intentionally avoided her options. Or she is a low quality woman that nobody wants and try to please people sexually in order to be loved, which is a psychological disorder.

The men that decided to fuck around and later marry probably won't be good partners too, but at least he will be wanted because a man that can fuck around is sexy. The opposite is not, because any woman could have done that.

memes-not-dreams · 2022-09-05T01:06:13+00:00

Good luck when the virgin cheats / leaves you because shes gonna be curious about sex with others. I am a sex-having man and I have no idea why you incels all want virgins. Its an insane fantasy and a bad idea.

ovolebron · 2022-09-05T03:14:20+00:00

Leviticus 21:14

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-09-05T08:41:49+00:00

I was thrown off when you said white culture and then I checked my comment and I see what you're talking about. I meant to say whore culture not white culture.

Revolutionary-Swim24 · 2022-09-05T09:53:20+00:00

Having more partners either means you had sex without commitment, which is to say, for each partners you turned off the natural inclination for sex to create an intimate bond, or you had sex with commitment that didn’t work out, meaning you have created intimate bonds through sex that failed. Either way, the result is that more partners means pair-bonding happens less automatically through sex. And this is true for women more than men because I don’t think men really form connections automatic in this way from sex to the same extent and furthermore for women, sex is an expression of trust in a way that it isn’t for a guy but it’s true of both to a degree. And yea, when you get into high numbers on both sides, the chance that one’s partner even will be a novelty is low and chances are that one is settling for someone that isn’t their best fuck. Statistics demonstrate this as well as anecdotal evidence.

This being said, I personally have dated girls who were virgins that were not mentally stable in any capacity. The only reason I stick to virgins is because I am one and I think I’d be a more successful partner as a man if I’m not less experienced than my future wife. It’s not that big of a deal and for most people it really shouldn’t be a deal breaker, it’s less natural but people certainly can be mentally healthy as non virgins and be loving partners. Even if this gets rarer/harder the more partners one has.

Puzzleheaded-Sort812 · 2022-09-05T14:38:41+00:00

Sounds like a self-report tbh

Puzzleheaded-Sort812 · 2022-09-05T14:40:12+00:00

Why does this ONLY apply to women? Interesting.....

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-09-05T17:08:55+00:00

Most women and men alike were traumatized by their parents, not by having too many sexual partners. Not that getting used for sex isn’t a potentially traumatic experience, but yeah. Most of the baggage and toxic patterns people bring into their relationships come from how they were raised and how they saw their parents’ relationship. And that includes “normal” families. Girls who had great dads tend to be pretty mentally healthy, but the bar is high and they will take no shit. So if you want a mentally healthy woman, a) be a genuinely good boyfriend, b) ask about and meet her family. But most people do have some trauma and toxic patterns, probably you too. It has to just be worked through. I say look for someone who is willing to do that.

yestermorrowday · 2022-09-05T17:46:25+00:00

Speaking from experience, this is not true. I was much more insecure in my first relationship, because I was a virgin and he had already been with multiple women, which made me jealous (not for good reason — it was 100% my problem).

Once I had experiences of my own, it was no longer an issue.

sidforever · 2022-09-05T18:16:58+00:00

No correlation

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Puzzleheaded-Sort812 · 2022-09-05T14:44:57+00:00

When I was a virgin, I had repressed memories of child abuse and PTSD from seeing fucked up shit that my parents did.

ruboyuri · 2022-09-05T15:13:32+00:00

Most men say it’s about disgust at pussy use

asshole67throw · 2022-09-05T15:13:33+00:00

I can tell you one of my experiences:

She was 32. Didn’t loose her virginity until 25. Has only slept with her first and second boyfriend.

First relationship lasted 3 months. Second lasted 6 weeks.

Massive fucking tease. Traumatised more than you realise.

On paper yes: virgin low body count woohoo. Physically attractive too. Hasn’t had sex in 4 years.

Reality: doesn’t fuck because she gets more out of just teasing guys and then saying nah, and then haas a superiority complex about it. Massive trust issues, probably mentally ill, daddy issues, wanked her dog off once because she felt sorry for him, lives along, substance/alcohol issues, complains can’t get a boyfriend but rejects everyone.

Gets all the validation from leading guys on but never puts out. She is, basically, promiscuous in her behaviour. She might as well fuck. But she doesn’t.

And yeah, I took her to bed and she didn’t put out. Brought me back to her place after I’d say no to her on 5 different occasions. I worked with her. Sent me nudes a few times. Told me we could fuck and fool around. Told me all the shit she wanted to do to me in bed if I went back to hers.

Didn’t fuck. We were in her bed and she stripped off in to the nude claiming she was too hot. Tried it on with her. Spooned her and kissed her neck. She was in to it said no we can’t then asked me to stop. So I did.

Spoke about it in the morning. Said she would have done it if I’d forced myself on her. Fuck that I ain’t getting a grape charge. Never went back to hers since.

So body count doesn’t mean everything. It can even be an unhealthy sign.

Delicious_Spite700 · 2022-09-05T18:37:49+00:00

I don’t think body count matters think it’s more about values and typically the girls in the west who have the right value system to be in healthy relationships are the girls with lower body counts as someone who is a member of r/thepassportbros Community who’s been to two other countries the women outside of western countries even the independent strong women who may have higher body counts call want to be in relationships and I want to play that supporting role they want their man to be a leader they’re also taught the coordinates of family and I feel like the lack of those particular traits in women from the US and UK for example is the reason a lot of their relationships have issues or become toxic and unhealthy men and women who are in relationships with each other shouldn’t have to compete with each other they should be partners and work together unfortunately because a lot of the women don’t want to work together they wanna prove that they’re on the same level or higher than their partner it just makes conflict occur and typically the women with higher body counts feel like they need to prove themselves even more than normal which is really unfortunate because I believe most women have more value than men for the simple reason that they can create life A man can’t do that also the only reason men should be leaders in a relationship it is that’s the best position to protect someone and a man should be is shield for his partner protecting them from anything bad or harmful the world pros of them no matter if that partner is a man or a woman

BaronIncognito · 2022-09-05T18:46:54+00:00

This take would've been thoroughly debunked if it didn't include the words "most likely" in the last sentence. But alas, it does include those words, so everyone's specific examples do not disprove it.

Nowhere does he say that there are no well-adjusted high n-count women, or poorly adjusted virgins.

itmethrowaway12 · 2022-09-05T19:29:29+00:00

this is the main reason but is also about pussy. and its just gross. like it just disgusts me

midwesternMD · 2022-09-05T20:33:24+00:00

Virgins/low n-counts do not track well with trauma/trust issues.

That said, if that’s important to you, then date that way. And if you find happiness, more power to you. If you fail to find happiness, maybe you should re-think whether some other variable is more important to you.

I still maintain that n-count is a garbage metric, and it astounds me how many people seem to obsess over it. For all the folks here who claim to be smart enough to hold down decent jobs, there seems to be a lack of critical thinking. I could be a bit more polite, but this is my counter argument against n-counts period.

1) you will never know someone’s n-count exactly. Women tend to underreport, men tend to overreport. There are too many pressures to appear one way, that there is no good way to answer the question: “how many sexual partners have you had.”

2) if you believe the study (or studies) that suggests a correlation between n-count and pair bonding, are you prepared to remain a virgin until marriage? Because if adding another notch to the bedpost is so detrimental to one’s intrinsic worth, then strategically, women should wait until marriage to have sex.

3) maybe you’re a 20something. I’m a 30something. Have you met a 28+yo virgin before? I’ve met two (or at least believed I met two) in my dating life. Older virgins carry A LOT of their own baggage. In fairness, this is merely anecdotal. But it is something to think about.

The rest of your concerns are about toxic pasts/traumas/etc. So I’ll address that separately.

News flash: everyone experiences some form of trauma/toxic situation as they get older. It’s called living life. I challenge you to find someone who is at least 30 who hasn’t had a past trauma of some kind. The world is full of shitty people. Sooner or later, a good one meet a bad one, and you have new trauma. Hell, two good ones can meet each other, and unknowingly inflict trauma on each other. Shit happens. You’re going to have baggage one day, too. (Although from the wording of your post, I would argue that your rationalization of virgins/n-counts suggests that you already have baggage of your own)

I should add: I’m an equal opportunity hater.

One of the people who replied here volunteered a pretty common counter argument along the lines of “men want virgins because it’s easier to manipulate them, and that’s pathetic.” Even if that were true, what’s the problem in wanting to mold your partner in a way you desire? Plenty of women take on project relationships. Where is the outrage against that behavior? Hell, I don’t mind if I meet a woman who dropped out of college. I’d encourage her to go back. Is that manipulation? Because I’d like a partner who is intellectually strong enough to have deep conversations with, and I also suspect that a college drop out would likely struggle to socialize with my colleagues and their spouses. Is it manipulative now?

ImAGhostOooooooo · 2022-09-05T22:39:50+00:00

Virgins/low N count women still have exes and trauma just like every other woman in this planet. They are not exempt from a hard life just because they didn't have sex. To think so is just foolish. Just because they didn't have sex doesn't mean they didn't date guys in the past. Also, she is not guaranteed to stay with you or be more loyal just because she's a virgin. There's a really good chance you won't satisfy her and she'll want more if you don't know how to please a woman already.

_Duriel_1000_ · 2022-09-06T00:58:34+00:00

if a woman is a virgin past 22 y/o, there may be some issues there.

Psych_FI · 2022-09-06T02:33:35+00:00

I’ve noticed the opposite actually depending on the woman. My friends with low counts have been REALLY hurt and hung up when their relationships didn’t work. They had so much baggage and because they place so much value on sex they have way more drama. If you date them it’s like signing up for marriage.

My friends with counts around 4/5+ are way less problematic and can walk away with very little baggage. They will walk when something isn’t working and therefore don’t waste either parties time.

SupaDiagnosaurusu · 2022-09-06T03:06:20+00:00

Why does no one ever mention the risk of Jealousy turning into aggressive or violent action against a man who's with a local woman withba high body count.

Your at a bar and some guy(s) the girl had "relations" with is there and drunk. sees you two and gets jealous, now you have a problem. Do what you want, but there are issues that can come with it.

2022-09-06T03:48:33+00:00

That’s a big assumption to make. You could make a gross assumption the other way around too in saying virgin/low-count women are too scared of sex because of trauma. Both are equally presumptuous.

Psych_FI · 2022-09-06T08:13:39+00:00

I can understand placing huge value on whether someone is ethical, practises safe sex, and is emotionally/psychologically healthy. While these traits might be correlated with a lower body count it personally seems odd to me to discount someone from their specific number with no context.

Consider the following options:

Person A: Body count of 3 (all relationships) but has cheated on 2 partners. *Would be ruled out based on poor ethics.*

Person B: Body count of 15 (some relationships and others casual) but used protection, was honest and never cheated. *Would be open to getting to know this person.*

Person C: Body could of 15 (some relationships and some casual) but has gotten someone pregnant/used prostitutes/was a fuckboi or huge party boy. *Would be a huge turnoff.*

While I'm pro-casual sex the negatives turn me off as people don't get tested regularly, aren't honest/upfront, are good in the bedroom etc

jenaemare · 2022-09-06T09:38:12+00:00

I don't know about that. I've got a female friend in her late 20s who has a body count of 1. Has only dated 1 man in her entire life but he traumatised her enough that she is now bitter and resentful towards all men and compares all of them to him. She hasn't dated since because she finds faults and revives her trauma in all guys who try to get close to her.

On the other hand another friend in her mid 30s has had a very interesting and colorful sex life, has been with most of her close male friends, and every new relationship she enters with an open heart and no prejudice because she thinks every man is different and deserves a chance.

Title	CMV: Wanting a virgin/low body count woman isn't about pussy
Author	0nuzo0
Upvotes	123
Comments	476
Date	September 4, 2022 11:02 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/x60e5x/cmv_wanting_a_virginlow_body_count_woman_isnt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-wanting-a-virginlow-body-count-woman-isnt.1130069 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130069

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