Talking to women "as people" first usually gets the guy friendzoned

63daddy · 2023-03-28T17:15:16+00:00

I don’t think talking to them as people first automatically gets one in the friend zone. Whether friendship or romance, one has to build rapport. The issue is whether you sexually or romantically escalate things after establishing some rapport.

Rapport with no romantic or sexual escalation = friend zone.

DisasterPeace7 · 2023-03-28T17:45:47+00:00

Yes and no, I will always make fun of the feminists who always use that terminology "maybe you should try seeing women aS pEoPlE," it's almost like the idea that you can be sexually attracted to somebody while being interested in their personality is a foreign concept, but I do agree that you should make your intentions clear and well known and if they're not reciprocated just cut off the communication, unless she's making you a shit ton of money there is no benefit for a man to be just friends with a woman that he's attracted to

wtknight · 2023-03-28T16:57:41+00:00

I don’t understand how one can’t see women as both people and as people to sexually pursue simultaneously. They aren’t mutually exclusive.

Purple-Following-422 · 2023-03-28T18:08:39+00:00

It obviously won't work for the average man.

Remember kids, if it only works for Chad, then it doesn't actually work.

honeycall · 2023-03-28T23:22:44+00:00

Lmao don’t listen to people who are terminally online

jimmiefan48forever · 2023-03-28T16:36:33+00:00

Yes it does, having female friendships is fine and I think beneficial but if you like a girl then make it clear you want a relationship at first. Women usually get upset when a friend says he wants something more.

noafrochamplusamurai · 2023-03-28T17:14:07+00:00

I can talk women as people.....and also wanna fuck those people. Talking to them as people will yield surprising results. Some of those really attractive people will become less attractive, or downright ugly after a while. Some of those average looking people will become dramatically more attractive after a while. It's almost as if personality matters just as much as looks.

Pro tip: Quality over Quantity, while pursuing quality you'll notice how much quantity you've accrued.

cassowaryy · 2023-03-28T19:31:18+00:00

Dude if you’re asking for women’s advice on how to get girls you’re already doing it wrong. Just be yourself and be confident, pursue who you want to, if they are down with it then cool. If not, move on. No point in over analyzing what women think you should do to get girls.

Also the game is about subtlety. You can pursue someone while being totally friendly and chill and not making it overtly sexual in the first 15 minutes of meeting them

Meihuajiancai · 2023-03-29T01:51:26+00:00

Talking to women "as people" first usually gets the guy friendzoned

Get to know women as people without pursuing them for relathionship/sex

These are absolutely not the same thing. Treating women like people means NOT putting them on a pedestal and tiptoeing around what you're looking for.

No-Chance-8405 · 2023-03-28T18:13:10+00:00

A woman needs to feel comfortable with a guy she is supposed to get intimate with. If you approach her directly with the intention of a romance it's an uncomfortable situation. I might have already decided if you are attractive to me, but I don't know you, and I don't know if you can be trusted. Trust and comfort come first, and a good way to build trust and comfort is treating me like a human being so I can see whom I'm dealing with.

Nobody tells you to be a platonic friend for a year. The point is to take women seriously, show interest in what they say and what they do and not only in their looks, and show them who is behind that guy they are talking to, which is hopefully more than only a load of uncontrolled testosterones.

ta06012022 · 2023-03-29T04:18:18+00:00

If a girl really wants you and you initially treat her platonically, she’ll typically become very aggressive in pursuing you. At least that’s been my experience.

If she doesn’t want you, treating her platonically will land you in the “friend zone”. But that doesn’t really matter, because in that case pursuing her romantically will land you in the “nothing zone”. Act either way, but nothing is happening if she’s not interested.

RP-MJ · 2023-03-28T16:52:01+00:00

You should always come from a romantic/sexual perspective when talking to attractive women

That's how you quickly develop your Game/chrisma

Yes women are people but they are people your trynna fuck or date, let's be honest

Your sex drive has more influence than your social beliefs as a men

Zombombaby · 2023-03-28T18:50:58+00:00

Alternative view: because women are people and they don't have hive minds and aren't all programmed to be immediately attracted to one moment where you treat them as such.

bigpapirick · 2023-03-28T19:29:26+00:00

Well your examples come from two different people so maybe it’s just that not all women are the same?

LadyofTheGreyPath · 2023-03-28T19:39:56+00:00

He got FWB zoned, am I doing this right?

iamprosciutto · 2023-03-28T20:11:51+00:00

I think you can talk to a woman as a person while being light and flirtatious with the conversation. In my experience, it's the best approach with the women I like. It's like you're acknowledging their attractiveness while also saying "you're also just a human like me." I am also friends with women who almost never know how they feel about a guy until after a few conversations and interactions. One of my coworkers only feels sexual attraction after respecting a guy for a while. Then her libido often outpaces theirs. Trends exist, but everyone is a little different

Karmanger · 2023-03-28T20:40:09+00:00

Women don’t take sexual initiative, they expect you as man to.

Do what you will with that information.

Ohmaygahh · 2023-03-28T18:12:43+00:00

Just read the "The Rational Male: Preventive Medicine".

EulenWatcher · 2023-03-28T16:37:50+00:00

"Get to know a variety of women as people without pursuing sex, and eventually sexual chemistry will occur." != become friends with multiple women hoping to date them all this time. I think the OP meant to go and socialize with people, get to know women, learn to be comfortable with them first, improve your social circle. Take a break from trying to force your dating life, get comfortable around women. Then try again, maybe not with your friends though.

Also not all women "know within the first 5 seconds", some of us take out time and we need emotional connection first. Unfortunately, dating isn't a video game where you can use a cheatcode that would work all the time without fail, people are complex and what works for some won't work for the other.

modidlee · 2023-03-28T18:06:27+00:00

Not true. You can “talk to women as people” while also letting them know you’re attracted from the beginning. Talking to women “as people” really just means you talk to her in a way that she knows you’re not in a rush and you’re willing to let things go as slow as she likes. All the women I’ve dated I started out talking to them “as people.” But they knew that I wasn’t just what I call a “female friend in a male body.” I was a heterosexual male and interested in them in that way. But however things went I was okay with it.

nonplussedminus · 2023-03-28T16:53:33+00:00

Not in my experience. It gets you friendzoned SOMETIMES but not everyone is going to be attracted to you, that's just a fact. Also, women who are only looking for friends usually state so explicitly beforehand.

In my experience, women catching feelings through friendly talk is not at all uncommon. Especially because since women are so used to shallow compliments ("wow u look hot") someone who shows genuine interest in them will stand out way more. The problem is most guys don't know how to hold a conversation. "Nice and friendly" guys get perma friendzoned because they are boring and shallow and the friendship never reached a deeper level.

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Mrs_Drgree · 2023-03-28T17:13:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Conscious_Ad_6572 · 2023-03-28T19:44:38+00:00

Fogofit24 · 2023-03-29T01:19:14+00:00

Most frustrations can be summarized in two words: feedback failure.

As myself acting as I would consider my normal self, I can tell you tat I have gotten one night stands, LTRs, ghosted, stood up and friendzoned on multiple occasions. One or two of those actually worked out great cus those women are kickass friends.

However, others have either admitted/or I have observed that they were aware that they were leading me or other guys on because women just really like attention and when these particular women weren’t getting it to their satisfaction, they made sure they got it from some man somehow.

Point is..no idea what I did to get any of these results lol. Ive become more aware of bs but how to avoid bs and get better results is still a mystery. Plus i got shit to do.

I am close to two straight female friends. They would like to be attracted to the guys they friendzone bc the men they are CONSISTENTLY attracted to have been non-commital, married or just asses. So…don’t be too hard on yourself. Everyone is flying blind and hopefully getting less blind.

neetykeeno · 2023-03-29T01:41:19+00:00

There is no simple set of rules we can give that effectively replace social skills and social intuition. We tell men to get to know women as people if they appear to be completely neglecting that option at great cost to their success. We tell men to move more quickly to sexualise the situation if they appear to be always tardy in making an advance. We assume that once they add a new behaviour to their repertoire they will then use their social skills and intuition to decide what behaviour is best in each situation based upon the unique characteristics of the situation.

Social skills can be taught a little but mostly they have to be learned. I'm not sure if social intuition can be taught at all.

No-one can teach someone how to never make a mistake in mate seeking and watching people attempt to come up with no-mistake formulas from our attempts to teach what we can is a pitiful exercise.

TempoIndigo · 2023-03-29T01:54:38+00:00

I think it is meaningless to do that. Women know whether they like you or not pretty quickly and if you arent attractive to them, you arent going to talk them into it

You go out and look for a partner and if she says anything but yes, just forget it, she’s on the fence or a negative on you and you ought to look for someone else. If you actually want to be friends, take her up but if you dont then say no thanks and move on

But do not allow yourself to put into a situation where she strings you along with maybes while she gets free shit from you. Do not fake being a friend if you dont want. Do not text her back if she’s iffy and going back and forth between options. You will be miserable.

meangingersnap · 2023-03-29T02:09:43+00:00

Yes, eventually a spark will occur - he’ll eventually meet someone who doesn’t see him as a no? Where’s the conflict there? It’s not like keep talking to a specific woman and she’ll eventually date you?

YellowFeverbrah · 2023-03-29T03:00:29+00:00

When people say talk to women as people first, they mean don’t put her on a pedestal and treat her like some goddess. You have to show a romantic interest in her not act like her best friend.

ChefWardell30 · 2023-03-29T04:59:05+00:00

Depends on your face - it was decided from the start

22IsThisIt22 · 2023-03-29T12:34:15+00:00

Ah, the good old "asking a fish, how to catch a fish" and then complain that the fish wasn't giving good advice. Ask a fisherman.

zabrak200 · 2023-03-29T14:17:38+00:00

Yes whats wrong with that? Having female friends is a GOOD THING. In high school I got put in the friend-zone a bunch. Then those women became my friends and later became my wingwomen because i genuinely befriended them and they liked me. Consequently i learned a bunch about young women and what they want from young women. Ffs its NOT HARD.

GGMcThroway · 2023-03-29T15:14:38+00:00

If you talk to women as people, they're more likely to keep you around (whether romantically or as just a friend) as long as interacting with you is pleasant.

If you don't talk to women as people, they won't want anything to do with you at all (provided they're normal people with healthy boundaries).

If you're a snake oil salesman, most people would rather you get the pitch over with than pretend to be their friend just to spring the sale on them later. People don't like it when they have emotional investment in you just to find out it's all a lie later.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-03-29T20:27:10+00:00

Talking to women "as people" first usually gets the guy friendzoned

Not if she actually wants you.

AcanthocephalaNew947 · 2023-03-28T18:47:42+00:00

The irony is both statements don’t contradict one another at all

At the end both are saying: if she’s not interested, she’s not interested.

Cold approach, warm approach, approaching friends it’a still a man with his sexuality in his hand showing it to a woman and saying ‘will you accept this’ approaching in anyway is sexual.

I’m NOT saying that’s a bad thing. Dating is sexual. Romantic relationships are sexual. So a man approaching is essentially asking a woman to be open to his sexuality.

Now with that being said it is a well known fact women are INCREDIBLY SEXUALLY SELECTIVE.

If society actually figured out the perfect formula to make the average man sexually successful to any woman he approached, do you really think it would be given out as advice online? Come on! We’re all strangers here, how tf would anyone online be able to perfectly give the answers to what you’re seeking.

Come on advice is simply that advice, you can take it or leave it, even therapy doesn’t work without self effort from the individual, the individual is responsible for figuring out what works for them, no one else can do that for someone. If they’re telling you they can they’re lying.

None of what those two examples said wasn’t true. But neither were - this is how you get women to be open to fucking - answers, you’re acting as if they were.

killawatt_9 · 2023-03-28T17:41:18+00:00

The same way you don't have a romantic interest in every woman that talks to you. Women are allowed to not like you, even though you "talk to them as people" like you say.

TurtleDickSlap · 2023-03-28T18:12:01+00:00

"Treat women like the trash they are, or they will leave you for the man that does."

-Ancient Chinese Proverb

In all seriousness, obsequiousness is a major turn off for women and the problem is that women understand men so little that a genuine display of kindness and care comes off that way.

That's why men who are assholes fare better - women don't feel like an asshole is simpering for her attention, therefore any attention she gets that is the least bit positive feels earned.

ratsareniceanimals · 2023-03-28T18:36:35+00:00

No, pretending to want to be a friend when you actually don't want a friend but a romantic/sexual partner is what gets you friendzoned.

Maybe a more useful way to give the same advice - talk to women as if you only want them as acquaintances, not even as friends.

Because be honest with yourself, are you currently in the market for more male friends? No, right? But you just happen to be in the market for a new female friend?

fuchsiaeuRIor4683 · 2023-03-28T22:14:41+00:00

Why do you still listen to women?

just_a_place · 2023-03-29T00:00:54+00:00

Talking to women as "interesting people" first usually gets me access to know her better, figure out stuff about each other, and a pathway to proceed from there.

If you are some awkward goon looking for sum fuck and you approach women with a horny demeanor you are going to get friend-zoned hard, if not outright told to go kick rocks.

Women have this thingy between their ears called a brain and they use it to sniff out bullshit. So if you are approaching women with some bullshit, just to get your dick wet, they will use that brain of theirs to keep you at a distance instead of letting you have access to their interesting personhood.

If you don't feel attracted to a girl as a person - as someone you can explore and savor by knowing her mind and figuring out her world - then all you're really attracted to is her body and you are definitely going to trample all over her dignity and brush aside her feelings, mind, thoughts, and opinions in a clumsy attempt at getting at dat ass. This usually makes women mad and very turned off.

I think the part you are struggling with is that after knowing her you probably freeze there and you expect her to take the reins. That isn't gonna happen bruh.

Most women will only give you an in - an access into her life and her personhood - and from there it is up to you to test and push her boundaries in order to form a deeper sexual connection with her; and then only after she judges you to be worth it. Some women will let you go further, some will not. That's the nature of socializing with people.

If a woman likes you but not in that way, then that's fine, take your experience gained and try again on another woman. You will eventually gain enough experience to figure out which women are actually interested in you in that way, and you will not waste your time on those who aren't that into you.

Ok-Map-7596 · 2023-03-28T16:42:30+00:00

Are you sure it's not your autism that's making women not see you as a romantic option?

BioNipple · 2023-03-28T16:40:02+00:00

Depending on how much free time you have, you could stay in the friend zone long enough to where she likes you.

But yea, trying to be friends with a girl is difficult if you have feelings for her. Best to just leave it if you have bigger and better things going on.

throwaway164_3 · 2023-03-28T17:26:48+00:00

Only if he’s ugly!

If he’s tall, hot, athletic and confident, it’s much less likely

Drive-By-Cuckers · 2023-03-28T17:45:46+00:00

I mean yeah most women you become friends with won’t be dying to date you, but some of them will. normal healthy people have multiple friends of both genders and date only one of those people

aryamagetro · 2023-03-28T18:33:29+00:00

you know you can talk to a woman you're interested in dating as a person too right? unfortunately a lot of men have a Madonna-Whore complex.

satisfiedmind- · 2023-03-28T19:39:51+00:00

Most women you meet will just want to be friends with you because that is life. You are not “getting friendzoned” you are making friends.
The more friends you have the more people you meet, the more you experience life, it will happen for you eventually. If you are spending a lot of time online and not engaging in friendships IRL you aren’t going to meet anyone.

azurix · 2023-03-28T20:41:45+00:00

You’re missing the factor that not every women wants to be with you either.

If they don’t reject you immediately which you won’t like then you’ll also hate being friend zoned.

JNRoberts42 · 2023-03-28T18:18:42+00:00

There is no friendzone. She’s either attracted or she isn’t.

Friendzone is a bullshit term orbiters made up to blame women for their inability to turn a friendship into romance or sex.

Safinated · 2023-03-28T17:02:50+00:00

Yes. “As people” who have thoughts and opinions. Not “as things you want that have a price tag or a machine you put nice tokens in until sex is dispensed”

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2023-03-28T18:57:17+00:00

“Talk to women as people” means get used to talking to women that you aren’t sexually interested in so that when you DO come across someone you want more from you’re not fumbling the play. If you only talk to women you want to have sex with then EVERY interaction is colored by whether or not you close the deal, which puts an insane amount of pressure on you and makes it harder to perform. If you get good at just talking to women without the added closure expectations, things will be more fluid and natural, and you’ll be better at socializing in general

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-03-29T00:43:42+00:00

Oh wow, you found out different women have different opinions - good job !

Now go out, be attractive and go after girls you want, the friend-first girls are wrong.

Seriously, never go the platonic/get-to-know angle. It only semi-works in high-school and where full-blown pursuit is pretty much unacceptable.

Bye

FlyV89 · 2023-03-29T00:08:25+00:00

I'm a good looking manwhore and I'm in lots of women's friendzone, and this really doesn't bother me at all.

I know I'm going to fuck all of them down the road because, well, I've fucked a lot of friends (and some of them became my girlfriends, and then ex girlfriends and ex friends).

That's the trick.

If you're in one girl friendzone, your chances of fucking her are like what... 1%?

If you're in 100 friendzones your chances of success are 100%.

Stay positive dude.

Fun_Community_6833 · 2023-03-28T18:41:00+00:00

Who are these women telling you to weasel your way into a woman’s life by pretending to be a friend? I have never been friends with a woman then dated her at some point in the future.

Midaycarehere · 2023-03-28T19:17:36+00:00

With maturity comes the ability to see a person as a friend = a great thing.

JustChabli · 2023-03-28T21:47:05+00:00

How the fuck else you gonna talk to women? As dish towels? You know they’re people, right?

CombinationUsed7938 · 2023-03-28T17:44:04+00:00

Take them as people with whom you intend to have a relationship.

throwawaymonth3 · 2023-03-28T17:48:00+00:00

source: other reddit comments. totally reliable.

lolmastr13 · 2023-03-28T19:31:03+00:00

It doesn’t if they’re attractive. Also what success rate are you expecting? Wouldn’t even a 5% success rate be good

SoldierExcelsior · 2023-03-28T19:39:07+00:00

True..it's a balancing act I let the women know upfront that I find her attractive and will smash the first chance I get. .so she knows from jump that I'm not the one, go befriend some chump now if she continues to engage that's on her.

I got females txting and calling all the time wanting favors...But if it's not followed by "I'll do whatever you want". They're left on read.

I asked a few women out and they told me they weren't interested I said Kool deleted their contact..most hit me up eventually..."WYD" WYA" "Hey" "Can you help me"

Stop wasting time time with these females she's either a wife or a 304...treat them accordingly.

thataveragedude1 · 2023-03-28T19:43:42+00:00

The friend zone does not exist. If she is not interested, you’ll know it. Keep it moving and find someone who is actually interested. Nobody wants to date a total stranger, get to know them first, if she’s not feeling it, leave.

Otjeho · 2023-03-28T20:48:11+00:00

Personally it just makes them want me more but ok

JumboJetz · 2023-03-28T20:51:09+00:00

I feel like context is what gets me friendzoned.

If I meet a girl online or in a club or something - never friendzoned.

If I meet her at school or work - always friendzoned.

I think it’s a mentality thing. I kindof just believe girls at school or work (especially work) to be off limits as it’s a more professional situation.

No-Regular1667 · 2023-03-28T21:45:56+00:00

You’re partially right. It ultimately comes down to whether or not the girl is attracted to you. A guy she is attracted to can approach and talk to her however he wants to (within reason), and he will always be successful. A guy she is not attracted to cannot do or say anything to change that (most of the time).

The biggest hypocrisy I notice is how women will say that struggling guys need to talk to women as people and get female friends, but in the next sentence say that women typically presume any guy initiating conversation with them is hitting on them.

lustersi · 2023-03-28T23:08:22+00:00

It’s hard to say. You could make your intentions clear in the beginning. But then their logic is that since the guy likes me I might as well ignore him. Wait for him to say hi first and never say any words.

If you’re at a club or out in public. Then Yes, make the approach. The female won’t think like this. But it’s when you’re at school or a job is when getting to know her as a person becomes a problem.

Getting to know her at a job/school has to be mixed with flirting. Like small subtle glances from a far, eye contact, and smiling occasionally. You don’t need to go deep into knowing her. She has to be the one to tell you. All you do is listen and repeat back what she said. Apparently communication, listening to her without talking about yourself is what raises the girls interest towards a guy. She don’t care about your issues or what you think. Or if you’re funny and care about her

Unlikely-Strategy596 · 2023-03-28T23:26:49+00:00

You’re wrong, I’ve done both and have gotten laid each time. It’s just the men who tend to do this are insecure to begin with and are taking a safer route to avoid rejection with the “treat her as a person” route.

bob88c · 2023-03-29T01:35:54+00:00

Friendzone a couple of girls and then go out with them on a Saturday night…nothing better than a female wingman and then the dopey chick will get jealous and start chasing you? No pain, no interest…female Motto.

ChicktoGo · 2023-03-29T01:47:27+00:00

So I had this friend were in a platonic relationship since were co-worker before. He had his own girls that he like and pursue but hes not successful. So now he turn to me trying to change our relationship into something more sexual which I don't approve or like. Now were barely friends. Lol

MyUpSeemsDown · 2023-03-29T04:10:53+00:00

I think talking to women "as people" is a good advice in a different way. When a guy is nervous / gets some sort of way talking to "the girl he likes" or his "crush" it definitely shows especially to women, vs talking to like they would to their guy friends there's less of that fidgety nervous anxious thing going on. And ofc women are not mind readers and don't know every thought process of every men they come across, probably why some women generalize it as "creepy."

Friendzone is not a bad way to go about it so long as you don't keep yourself in there. I've known lot of men and women who like the organic way of becoming partners, which is to start as friend, spend time together and let it naturally evolve.

I'm also unsure what the point of.. comparing the two different post is though. Clearly posted by two different people, I suppose that between two different people may exist different approaches in life, can't really pin it as one entity that is also all encompassing of all people of one gender and imply it's hypocritical or anything lol..

Azihayya · 2023-03-29T05:53:11+00:00

I think that's cope. Independence and just being yourself and being mature enough to acknowledge other people (women) as individuals creates mystery and invites attraction. The truth is probably more along the lines of that when guys act really congenial and kind, that it's intimidating for bad girls or women who are just looking for something casual. Guys really underestimate just how intimidating they can be as romantic prospects; but, depending on how you present yourself, you might be able to find the kind of girl who can really get along with you. That's why I think this is mostly cope--the fact is that people, generally, are just not gonna be super attracted to everyone they meet.

Just be yourself. Don't try to change who you are and be inauthentic to try to seduce women. Just grow up and become a mature human adult. There isn't anything inherently duplicitous about women, and unless you're looking for a really dishonest woman, then you shouldn't be employing dishonesty as a tool for engaging with potential partners.

eyewave · 2023-03-29T06:19:25+00:00

I just believe men make it too much of a hassle to say they like someone.

All the women I was able to approach began in an acquaintanceship, but then at some point I'd go, "you know what, I like you, please join me on xyz", and this is a date.

There are some sentences that can let a woman know you like her, without lighting any red flags for her. Just keep it casual and self-confidence, and prefer moments where there are fewer people around, as to see whether there's this spark or not.

"I like you", "I'm into you", "I'm curious about you", "let's connect to each other", etc.

Women like guys who know what they want, but can still read a room and leave them some time to decide. Which is also why, when I meet someone new, I take their instagram contact first, because it is way less personal than a phone number, and if she doesn't feel me anymore she can ghost or block me (and tbh this is rare and if so happens, I'll move on).

Of course if some nice guy blurts out an "I.. I love you!!! Ai shiteru sempai!!!", that might not be the best approach.

PS: remember something else: as powerful as it feels, being into someone is just the beginning. Eventually you'll date them, grow out of passion, it will be a challenge for the relationship, but if the two parties can live together without passion, that'd be the care aspect of love that every "happily ever after" sells. Don't beat yourself up for the ones that got away. It is hard for the ego but you'll get around eventually.

TheMedsPeds · 2023-03-29T06:53:36+00:00

What girls are going on dates with dudes then friendzone them?

Maybe pic hitting on a chick with hard flirting after idk an actual date? Maybe not 6 months after pretending to be all buddy buddy or within the first two messages.

There’s aren’t the gotcha’s think they are.

beleidigtewurst · 2023-03-29T12:15:47+00:00

There is a lot of hypocrisy caused by how nuanced the interaction is.

On the one hand, it's flattening to know someone is interested. On the other, it can get annoying and outright cringe fairly quickly.

To add insult to injury: interested in me/not that much makes a monumental difference.

Things are tricky (expert users only), in other words.

beckabunss · 2023-03-29T17:06:55+00:00

I’ve only ever dated or fucked male friends, so I’m not sure what you mean lol. This is true for a lot of women. Being friendzoned doesn’t mean you are unfuckable.

Some friends of mine I would never date or fuck for a myriad of reasons- differences in life experience, attraction, shared interests, etc. but I also am usually there for them and will support them as a friend.

For instance I had a friend get dumped and have his phone stolen in the same day, so I drive him to go find it and tried to make him feel better. Also let him rest on my bosom. This is what you do for a homie imo.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-03-29T17:59:24+00:00

People who you are potentially romantically/sexually interested in are also people. The whole idea of dating is to get to know someone with a potential relationship in mind. Everything is either immediate hookup or “just hanging out… unless?” these days, and this creates a lot of unnecessary misunderstandings and hurts. Give up on the plausible deniability, grow some balls, and ask them out. And no, that doesn’t mean you have to push for sex right off the bat. And before you grab the pitchforks, I don’t just mean men, some women play these stupid games too.

MOProG2 · 2023-03-29T19:47:27+00:00

Getting to know a woman on a human level genuinely helps.

1.) New wing lady/social proof for you PUA nerds 2.) An new in to other social groups 3.) It's not a forgone conclusion that she won't like you.

If you are sexually attracted to a woman, express it. The problem is friend zone guys are your typical covert narcissists who are only nice to get sex and hide their true intentions. And because most people are bad at acting, your subcommunication gives off unsafe and unsexy "vibes". Hence she doesn't want you "in that way" but because you are nice you make a good enough friend.

Too many of y'all are actually sex addicted thanks to porn so you have trouble having conversations with women without feeling like wacking off. That's a whole new can of worms that will prevent you from getting into meaningful relationships with people

Also many of y'all needy AF. It's actually not that hard to find a woman who vibes with you sexually. It's just many men carry sexual shame and hide that part of themselves.

So in short, getting to know a woman on a human level is NOT the reason you can't get laid (actually the whole "achievement" mindset is a subset of your neediness issues, which is also why y'all struggling with women).

All of these are internal problems you need to work on

Boxisteph · 2023-03-31T00:09:27+00:00

Only if she doesn't like you. Though talking to her with sexual interest if she doesn't like you puts you I the creep zone.... Which one do you prefer

Title	Talking to women "as people" first usually gets the guy friendzoned
Author	Johnny_Autism
Upvotes	262
Comments	426
Date	March 28, 2023 4:31 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/124uexr/talking_to_women_as_people_first_usually_gets_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/talking-to-women-as-people-first-usually-gets-the.1207644 https://theredarchive.com/post/1207644

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