Men that tell women to “just choose better”, how do you feel about the exodus of women in the dating market?

AssPlay69420 · 2025-01-29T06:58:39+00:00

It’s understandable, honestly

People are broken overall nowadays. Things are fucked. And I wish people extended more grace to each other, but I get why they can’t.

We don’t have the time, the money, the resources, the energy, the attention, etc. to fix people on an individual basis

We never have, but we especially never have these days.

If men are a bit broken, it’s understandable to take a break from it

Everyone probably needs to breathe more along so many lines, beyond just dating

I don’t ever really fault anybody for no call, no showing or whatever

Life’s bleak, you’ve been hurt, shit’s tiring.

abaxeron · 2025-01-29T08:51:25+00:00

https://np.reddit.com/user/abaxeron/comments/1ib9lnc/the_bad_boy_tingles/

I'll wait for a peer reviewed paper reporting that this trend is no more. Because this is, and always has been, what I meant by "just choose better".

Meanwhile, "among those ages 25 to 64, men outnumber women by a large margin among never-married adults (125 men for every 100 women), but men are outnumbered by women among previously married adults (71 men for every 100 women)."

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2014/09/24/record-share-of-americans-have-never-married/

Boniface222 · 2025-01-29T10:03:47+00:00

I think in general it's good.

Like, it's sad when good people can't find each other. But bad relationships are extremely destructrive. A lot of relationships straight up make society worse.

If a woman is going to choose between being single, and being with an abusive alcoholic, I would prefer she stay single. Particularly because there's a pattern of women (and men) choosing abusive partner after abusive partner.

If every time you choose a partner it ruins your life and the lives of people around you, then yeah, maybe it's time to cool your jets and get another cat instead.

(And I'd like the abusive alcoholic men to get off the dating market too!)

Main_Aside_3072 · 2025-01-29T06:50:39+00:00

So, I just read the link you posted about women dropping out of dating apps, which is true, dating apps are dying, and thank god for that. But that doesn't mean they are dropping out of the dating market.

What do I think of the women that do it? Same thing I think about the men that are also dropping out the dating market: Nowadays a lot of people just aren't decent potential partners, and that goes for both genres, so people find dropping out is best for their mental health. If they're happy good for them.

lord-moo · 2025-01-29T05:51:50+00:00

for a lot of men, same difference

throwawaytradesman2 · 2025-01-29T14:54:58+00:00

Hi OP

First off, Zero Fucks. I've left the dating market.

It's ironic. Women are leaving the market because they can't get what they want. Men are leaving because they are tired of being rejected.

My own take is that men have not been leaving the market to punish women. Men have been leaving to find peace and have made peace with a game that's stacked against them.

The fact of the matter is that men will eventually travel to foreign countries to find women. There's South America, Asia, etc.... Women can try and do that too.

It's been said that "passport bros" will only find transactional relationships. But, the truth is all relationships are transactional.

OP, can you elaborate more on why men aren't meeting women's standards?

What are these standards and what are men's major failings?

Is it because they have established more into adulthood and demand more from a man?

Has the quality of men dropped?

I don't want to make assumptions as to what's happening in the opposite sex.

Thanks.

Kentaro009 · 2025-01-29T05:45:13+00:00

This is a silly question.

There is no significant exodus of women from the dating market just like there is no significant exodus of men from the dating market.

People that believe this are terminally online and need to go touch grass.

To the extent that anyone of dating age (18-40) is leaving the market, they are leaving because they are not desired enough to get the outcomes they want.

"you can't fire me - I quit"

Spirited_Cod260 · 2025-01-29T08:40:36+00:00

Every woman who's "taking a break from dating" will still jump for guys she finds attractive.

DzejSiDi · 2025-01-29T09:05:04+00:00

1) There is no exodus on women from the daing market, women just price themselves out of the market. 2) "Choose better" applies for "not-a-shit-person" checks. Those checks are often ignored. Men "not meeting standards" means "perceived SMV standards". SMV and being a good person is barely corelated.

Select-Boysenberry90 · 2025-01-29T05:42:35+00:00

Bye Felicia.

Whiskeymyers75 · 2025-01-29T07:16:56+00:00

There is no exodus. But Reddit will believe anything a few femcels will say.

PuffStyle · 2025-01-29T06:11:36+00:00

When men say "choose better," they mean choose guys who are caring, loyal, honest, thoughtful, and communicative. Women hear "choose guys who are more attractive (in the general sense, not just physical)."

Many_Dragonfly4154 · 2025-01-29T09:06:39+00:00

Well for a lot of guys nothing changed. This may sound contradictory, but shit needs to get a whole lot worse before it can get better. It's not backfiring because now more men will be affected, not just the bottom percentile. The harder feminists push down on men, the more likely it is to explode in their face.

flextov · 2025-01-29T09:48:44+00:00

I’m okay with it.

bison5595 · 2025-01-29T16:37:20+00:00

Yes, either date men who want you/on your level or stay out of the dating game.

balhaegu · 2025-01-29T16:48:46+00:00

Modern men date women from traditional countries, to whom the modern men are an upgrade, and modern women drop out of the dating market. It all works out.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2025-01-29T19:39:23+00:00

Personally, I don't care. I refuse to have another abusive woman in my life. Anyway, I don't think women are choosing better, they are just going elsewhere besides online dating.

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-01-29T19:57:30+00:00

How I feel in one emoji:👌🏽

Now they just need to exodus tiktok and other brain rot apps that brainwash them into becoming undateable trash, and a semblance of balance will be restored in another 20 years give or take.

growframe · 2025-01-30T08:38:52+00:00

Good for them.

TraditionalPen2076 · 2025-01-29T05:48:35+00:00

But they aren't lol. They should be vetting for things like kindness, compatibility, stability, political inclination, views on life etc. instead, they vet for the tallest guy available and other dumb things like that. This is not what we meant when we said "choose better" lol

WanabeInflatable · 2025-01-29T08:17:01+00:00

It is okay. Less women is not always bad. A lot of women are net negative when added to man's live.

Some women are checking out because of negative experiences, men are checking out too. It is a problem only if you are concerned about demographic growth/reproduction.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-01-29T12:21:57+00:00

I think it's a positive outcome. That penalize men with shitty attitude (no real change for the ones who are not selected and those with a descent attitude in relationship). Women will be safer in this way and will have plenty of time to heal and be happy

Proudvow · 2025-01-29T06:54:27+00:00

Better than choosing wrong, but let's be real a lot of these women still casually date.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2025-01-29T10:17:25+00:00

What exodus?

Electric_Death_1349 · 2025-01-29T06:30:02+00:00

What exodus? Aside from that 4B nonsense a few months back, where is this so called exodus?

nnuunn · 2025-01-29T05:47:16+00:00

If she's leaving the dating market now because she can't find a good man, it's because she doesn't want a good man, and so, as a good man, it just thins out the herd of women I wouldn't date anyway.

Alarming_Ask_244 · 2025-01-29T06:02:55+00:00

Kind of sad to be honest. 99% of them could find a good partner without much real effort but for whatever reason that's too much for them

mesalikeredditpost · 2025-01-29T06:19:28+00:00

So they got lazy and did worse for everyone. Maybe they should listen next time instead of always assuming outside of context

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RayAP19 · 2025-01-29T12:23:00+00:00

An exodus of women under those conditions implies that there aren't chronically single men who are only chronically single because of women's high standards, not because they're deal-breakingly unattractive by any realistic metric

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-01-29T13:10:12+00:00

I hope we get enough reform so that we can balance the homeless demos for when they get older.

Suitable-Ad-8598 · 2025-01-29T17:06:50+00:00

There’s always the claim of people doing an exodus from the dating market. Always has been always will be. In recent times this exodus seems to be more focused on men not women.

I think it’s fair to say that anyone not participating in dating is not finding a good match for whatever reason. Most likely, you are either looking for the wrong kind of person or your standards are above your own level. If your standards were below your level you would have plenty of options, unless you live in a rural area.

RealityCold4693 · 2025-01-29T17:50:44+00:00

Good just complain about it

just_a_place · 2025-01-30T05:20:10+00:00

I was not aware that women are exiting the market.... they are all just dating the same men.

shadowrangerfs · 2025-01-30T20:44:21+00:00

I like it. If they aren't going to date better men who will treat them properly, I'd rather they not date at all than date shitty men and complain about it constantly while blaming ALL men for their poor choices.

If you can't seem to find ONE good man that you like, I'd rather you not date at all.

But, I don't think this "Be happy single" thing will last long. I think the majority of women will eventually get lonely enough to lower their standards and date GOOD MEN who don't check every box on their perfect man list.

Updawg145 · 2025-02-01T03:30:32+00:00

I think the problem I have is that men are still largely duped into serving women and society as a whole while women have largely started checking out, or just gaming the entire system exclusively to their benefit. Women are just chilling in academia now or PMC busywork jobs while it's still overwhelmingly men who are doing all the hardest, shittiest, and most essential jobs, and my question for all of these men is; why?? What are you even working so hard for, anymore?

I could understand labouring and toiling day after day if you had the prospect of some beautiful, loyal, faithful wife to come home to every day and a beautiful home with a couple of kids. But like 40% of young men are single or some shit, what the fuck are you idiots busting your asses so hard for and paying so much taxes?

Men can live in some shithole room with one pillow and a small TV. Just bail and work part time or NEETbux. All men are doing now is funding and enabling women's highly selfish, disengaged behaviour. Women are treating the world like it's their personal playground and that caters to their personal hedonistic whims, forgetting that the entire system is propped up on the backs of the men who do the real jobs in the world.

And for the record I'm a PMC dickhead myself so this doesn't necessarily apply to me; I earn a ton of money doing a not very hard job so if women don't want to date me anymore I couldn't give a fuck less, I'll just passport bro and fuck some hot bitch in Eastern Europe or Asia or some shit. But really my heart goes out to the labour-bros who are literally slaving away for a system and for women who do not give a single fuck about them at all.

KhadgarIsaDreadlord · 2025-02-02T15:51:41+00:00

Everyone is entilted to set whatever standards they want with choosing partners tbh. Just don't hate on the opposite sex if your preferences narrowed down your dating pool to a dating glass of water.

I don't see how this could "backfire". Like, it's not an own to refuse dating losers. It's something you should do for yourself baseline. It's pretty sad if you need that to be told to you.

thapussypatrol · 2025-02-02T17:35:00+00:00

What advice do you mean by "choose better"?

"Choose better" generally is aimed at women who chose bad boys that cheated on them, or left them pregnant, or caused them to become single mothers - "Choose better" is not "develop impossibly high standards such that most genuine, decent men are phased out", which is kind of what's happening today, and I don't think it's got anything to do with the advice of "choose better".

There's nothing wrong with "high" standards concerning men's behaviour and morals and in fact that's a good thing for both men and women - there's everything wrong with basically being delusional or even narcissistic about one's worth; there's a difference between avoiding "bad yet high SMV" men and avoiding "good yet average SMV" men - there's a ven diagram where "bad" and "high SMV" can overlap, and there is one where "bad" and "low SMV"can overlap - women tend to view "high SMV" and "good" to be similar or the same in a lot of cases

ControversialDebator · 2025-02-06T19:03:34+00:00

Great. As long as women aren't getting into shitty relationships with men and then complaining to men about it I'm perfectly ok with it.

meisterkraus · 2025-01-29T10:58:59+00:00

Technically, they are choosing better by not dating men that do not meet their standards.

This is not true. It is all dependent on what her standards are. Pick better has always meant to focus on positive personality traits and not materialistic things or looks.

RycerzKwarcowy · 2025-01-29T10:01:58+00:00

No, they didn't. They choose to stay hungry when there's no cake on table.

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-01-29T10:08:21+00:00

There is no exodus of women in the dating market. 66% of young women are in committed relationships and 83% of family-building age women are in committed relationships AT A GIVEN POINT IN TIME. Many more would be in committed relationships, if one would look at a 3 year time frame. Then we have non-committed relationships and just dating for very short term in the dating market. If anything we have a single digit percentage of women who don't want to date for several years, and large parts of them will be aromantic/asexual/neurodivergent/depressend/traumatized, or any other reason that has nothing to do with men in general.

You imply that choosing better leads to no men in the dating pool being good enough to be chosen, so the women are fine with not being in relationships. What an absurd idea with a misandrist view of men.

Choosing better, often coming from niceguys who are foreveralone, is directed at women who say they want A-men but pick B-men. While the niceguys think they are A-men and don't get why they are not chosen. What they don't get is, that "A" is just one of the traits women tend to want in a man, the other is O. Women want AO-men, but when there are only BO-men, they sometimes rather pick BO, because getting O is worth more than getting A, even when B is something bad. Niceguys don't have O and rather than working on their O-qualities, like the red pill would suggest, they go full blaming-/victim-mode and "i deserve", "change your behavior!", "choose better"-mode.

DebateTraining2 · 2025-01-29T12:04:19+00:00

I am a man and I think nothing of that.

I empathize with men who are worried about that; they are probably having trouble finding a mate and that's quite sad. But I am still 100% convinced that if you are a functional person, you will find a mate; so I think, it's a personal development issue, not some sort of actual societal crisis we should collectively worry about.

HollowHusk1 · 2025-01-29T12:46:10+00:00

It’s better than them willfully dating toxic men and then asking where all the good men are at

wtknight · 2025-01-29T13:15:40+00:00

I think that it’s overall good, because women who can’t compromise and be attracted to their attractiveness match probably don’t deserve to be in the gene pool anyway, although I suppose that they could still seek a sperm donor and raise a fatherless kid if they really wanted to, although I think that the fact that that child would be fatherless might limit his or her success.

As for the men, they can always save up and go overseas if they really want to meet someone. If they don’t have the basic drive to do this, then they probably shouldn’t be reproducing either.

addings0 · 2025-01-29T14:13:34+00:00

If women want to go 4B, let them. Women are devaluing themselves to punish men. By women avoiding men, they're essentially doing nothing, and volunteering to be childless cat lady. That harms women more than it shames men.

free_as_a_tortoise · 2025-01-29T15:33:26+00:00

Are the standards now "not obvious douche" (glad you finally got around to that) or "now he has to be at least 6 foot 14!!! with 12 pack abs and makes at least 16 gazillion dollars!!!" and still choosing the obvious douche because he's hot?

BeerNinjaEsq · 2025-01-29T17:03:19+00:00

Great question. I support it. It's a bit of a course-over-correction, but I think it's a good thing in the long-run, because it can help push things towards an equilibrium where men and women are on a more level playing field, and men can no longer take advantage of resting on their laurels in a society that favors them. This also increases the value of stable, responsible, and considerate men

James_M_Croft · 2025-01-29T09:41:46+00:00

I don't know where we are having an "exodus of women". Are you sure there is one?

Edit:

Thinking again, in the past few years I've seen how serial cheaters, completely deranged, fat and 35+ women have been disappearing from the "dating world" (aka, bars, clubs, tinder, etc). I guess you are right.

So basically the undesirable women are joining the undesirable men (cels) in self isolation? good for them?

anonymousppd123123 · 2025-01-29T10:25:02+00:00

There's a strong correlation between women leaving the market and being calorically enhanced. By and large this is a cope for low iq food addicts that can't willpower through their base impulses and choose ice cream over being lovable

YtBlue · 2025-01-29T08:04:15+00:00

Women choose not to date men on horrible standards. That is not choosing better. For example, if you want loyalty? Don't ask for confidence. Confidence comes from repeated actions(dating a lot).

SomeSugondeseGuy · 2025-01-29T13:17:57+00:00

I mean I left too so good for them

0kayz00mer · 2025-01-29T14:36:40+00:00

I don’t think the alleged exodus of women from the dating market has anything to do with men telling women to “just choose better”. Modern progressive women are just currently getting socialized to view men and marriage more negatively. Women are increasingly unable to choose the men actually willing to commit to them because they’ve been socialized to perceive those men as inferior and being with them as settling for less.

Proper_Frosting_6693 · 2025-01-29T17:08:23+00:00

It’s still for the best! Nobody wants a ran through mid gold digger that feels like she’s settling for her looks match due to the baggage inflicted by the guys way out of her league!

InterestingDiamond35 · 2025-01-29T07:41:39+00:00

The only ones exodusing are crappy chicks, so its awesome😃

Men that tell women to “just choose better”, how do you feel about the exodus of women in the dating market?

Comments

Women are more prosocial than men.

Title	Men that tell women to “just choose better”, how do you feel about the exodus of women in the dating market?
Author	IHaveABigDuvet
Upvotes	10
Comments	445
Date	January 29, 2025 4:52 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1icm4pm/men_that_tell_women_to_just_choose_better_how_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-that-tell-women-to-just-choose-better-how-do.1542434 https://theredarchive.com/post/1542434