Weekly FDS Check-In

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-05-10T13:22:29+00:00

I have been on this sub every day for the last two months. I love it, FDS makes me feel sane and empowered.

cuddlesandchocolate · 2021-05-11T01:18:41+00:00

A male relative was asked to pick up a few grocery items on his way over.

He uses the most minimal amount of effort, so a few of the veggies he brings are visibly old. A few lighthearted comments are made about this, which sets him seething. No apology from him, no acknowledgement or explanation- silent sulking.

My six year old thought it was all pretty funny and she says with giggles, "Please, next time don't bring off-veggies"

He responds immediately, "You don't need to worry about that! I am NEVER picking up veggies again!"

Pre-fds-me would have tried to patch it all up for him, "Oh they're fine, we can eat these!" and "Don't stress about the veggies, you did so good! Thank you for bringing everything!" (it was hardly anything he had to bring)

Instead I saw my daughter was startled, recognising that she had somehow offended him. I took the chance to explain to her what passive-agression is, how people use it to manipulate others out of setting any boundaries, etc.

Ended up having a good chat with her, she discussed a girl at her school who reacts to things not going her way with, "I thought we were friends!" We had a chat about ways to handle passive aggression. He sulked the entire time.

fiery_woman · 2021-05-10T14:36:02+00:00

Today is my birthday!

So grateful for this community. I’m about to head into an EMDR therapy session, so it’ll be a good day - but a hard day. I’m processing rage at the moment, and honestly - being here is helping me with that. I can’t think of another way I’d want to start being 38. Awake, pissed as hell, and working toward divorce. 🎉

starlight_sequence · 2021-05-10T13:54:30+00:00

Does anyone actually have a rotation, and if so, how?

It's rare for me to meet even one man that meets enough of my criteria to get a date, and rarer still that they get past the first. If I do find someone who fits the bill, it could be another several months before I meet someone else who does, and usually by this time is when the first man has either done something to disqualify himself, or is interested in exclusivity.

I posted last week about a man I've been seeing who has been great, other than some mannerisms that I find to be a turn off**, and the general advice has been to stop seeing him. Would continuing to see him, as long as he's treating me well, not be how I build a rotation?

I'm not really sure how this works in practice.

**He did ask me to be exclusive after four dates, which I found to be way too soon and think that may be at least a yellow flag.

_Amarantos · 2021-05-10T15:28:56+00:00

Do you all think Weird Al yankovic is a HVM

RainbowOfKirby · 2021-05-10T14:44:02+00:00

So I'm doing my best to level up, I'm enrolling in classes for the fall semester, I'm setting appointments, meeting goals, and reminding myself how much I deserve someone's full attention, and I'm loving myself day by day. It's a little hard to keep busy at times, and I don't want to fall into old habits of avoiding.

As such, I'm wondering how you ladies set a skincare routine? I'm wanting to set that and a haircare routine for myself, so I can feel more satisfied with my hair and skin. 😊

dahliaukifune · 2021-05-10T17:07:45+00:00

I’m so sad. They really are all so awful. I want a family. I lost my mother three years ago and I feel so alone in the world. I have plenty of friends, but they either have their partners, are in a different continent, or, of course, tend to their own lives. We know a friend and a partner aren’t the same thing. I’ve been trying not to give up, but I feel defeated. I have a very accomplished career and very fulfilling hobbies (I’m a published poet, and not a bad painter... not trying to brag, just really wanting to show that I do mean it), and have no issues spending most of my time alone. Being happy with myself doesn’t mean I can’t want a family and be sad about not having it. I want a home. Thanks for reading.

myoklife · 2021-05-10T16:55:11+00:00

I get really down about how people act and especially how the men in my life are by and large LVM. My therapist tells me to think of a man who is a good man, not an LVM, to remind myself they aren't all like that.

I had a person in mind. That person got his girlfriend pregnant and is outing himself as such an LVM and it's breaking my everything. Especially cause its my colleague and one of the few people I see regularly.

He won't marry her. He's making her pay for the baby with medicaid. She's being forced to be a stay at home mom and breastfeed cause he works a shit job. He controls what she eats and won't let her take Tylenol because he's worried about "autism" which is so offensive cause there are autistic people who work with us. He goes to all her doctors appointments, even the non- OBGYN ones (today he made her go to the doctor cause she broke his rules and took Tylenol after covid vaccine symptoms.) This man also has gone fully self-congratulatory about being a dad. He buys himself takeout meals and weed and wine daily to celebrate. All while talking about how he can barely afford to do this or that.

He was the only good one I thought I knew and now I feel like there is no hope. And im disgusted and horrified by this whole situation.

wordy_fries · 2021-05-10T16:18:29+00:00

2 more weeks until I graduate and start working. Scrote free 😀 great family and friends!

bananamilk58 · 2021-05-10T23:08:21+00:00

Changed the dude I was mildly interested in going on a date with in my phone to "blonde dude from gym" and feel significantly less interested LMAO. I sometimes have a bad habit of getting way too interested if they're really good looking. Keeping their names out of my phone and just using generic descriptions really does help. 10/10 recommend.

Blindtothesided · 2021-05-11T00:37:05+00:00

I just need to vent for a sec. My fucking ex-fiancé was logged into my fb messenger and has been reading messages from every guy on there. How did I find out? I changed my password today bc I noticed that some messages I haven't read had been marked read. It gave me the option to see what other devices were logged in and lo and fucking behold my ex logged in at noon today and read them.

I'm so ANGRY. My therapist and I have been working on anger for the past few sessions and she has helped me recognize that many times anger is just covering a more vulnerable emotions so I haven't been genuinely angry in quite some time but right now I am straight up pissed off.

I kicked him off the account and changed the password but damn it is hard to not lose it on him. However, I am adhering to FDS standards and not lowering myself to contacting him, even though it would be momentarily satisfying as fuck to call him out on it. I know I would regret it later so I am rising above, leaving him on block, and complaining to my friends here instead.

Sorry for the rant. My therapist is expensive as shit, the cancellation of my wedding cost me a damn fortune, and literally all of my friends are pickmeishas to the nth power so I know where to come when I need someone to really understand me. You ladies keep me sane 🤍

lightcobaltblue · 2021-05-11T11:14:03+00:00

Does anyone else also hate when men comment on how long you take in the bathroom like showering, shaving, doing hair and makeup?

I'm feeling a bit bitter at the moment thinking about comments of exes. I don't want to experience it again.

funky_worms · 2021-05-11T02:01:04+00:00

ugh guys. I'm feeling pretty down right now. My ex looked at my linkedin a few days ago and it really ruined my mood/ has been making me think about him lately. its been almost 2 years

vanillakitteh · 2021-05-10T20:18:31+00:00

Has anyone actually met a man that doesn’t use porn? I can only imagine they would be very religious or part of a group like no-fap.

Peak_Tree · 2021-05-10T20:45:20+00:00

This week it's been hard as f**k. Losing loved ones because of coronavirus and seeing your country explode because of a social, economic and political crisis that was years in the making and finally got out of hand, in part because of the pandemic ,all in the same week has been a WILD ride tbh.

queenagave · 2021-05-10T14:00:17+00:00

Okay so not sure if this biology or porn sick. Long gaps in having sex and when you do they finish super quickly. They've had to use a numbing spray to help them last longer.

Hitflyover · 2021-05-12T20:43:14+00:00

This is a good opportunity to share my Mother's Day story. My brothers took a trip to NYC for some reason and weren't around. They sent flowers to our mom, but it still rubbed me the wrong way that they weren't in town. One of them lives in another state and he literally decided to go to a third different state to hang out when he could have made that a trip home.

So anyway I took my mom to lunch and a bunch of flower shops. But at lunch I saw an old high school friend waitressing. She was at least 7 months pregnant and working Mother's Day! Mind you, she already has a little one at home. In high school she seemed like one of those people who could potentially be really taken advantage of in life because of her sweetness. She wasn't our waitress and she was actually serving a homeless woman who must have been treating herself to a nice lunch that day.

I told our waiter I knew her and he got her to come over to our table. She gave me the best hug I have had in a while, and she said she thinks about me daily because I gave her a bracelet once in high school. I was shocked because we were not close, I just remember having a crush on her energy.

After lunch my mom paid for the homeless lady's meal, and then I went to a local store and bought my old friend a card and $20 gift card, and had a bus boy hand it to her. I cried in the car on the way home for women, and as a release from some of my own recent struggles.

Women women women women women women women...... I love us.

Travelcat78 · 2021-05-11T09:22:15+00:00

Looking forward to turning 30 next month! Feels like a chance to put the mistakes of my 20s behind me, especially the dating ones 😬

CSardothien_1 · 2021-05-11T01:31:40+00:00

My insurance just approved my new medication for a chronic health issue (stuff costs like 10,000 an injection!) but more importantly I’m just excited to be getting on a new regimen and the possibility of feeling like a normal human being again.

FDS-GFY · 2021-05-14T23:44:47+00:00

I have set a date to leave my abusive NVM

I have my housing plan for the next 60 days after that, (and an emergency room at a friend's house for me and the pup if he goes apeshit in the meantime. )

I have a post office box reserved and a to do list of stuff.

I have made plans with friends as well as a massage this weekend (self care, and first massage post pandemic!)

I have been messaging with friends who are keeping me strong including one kindly FDS member and a close friend who just left her 27 year marriage and is bucking me up.

I'm starting to quietly pack things into bags and boxes while he's not paying attention in case I have to get out of here fast.
I am still afraid I'll lose my nerve, but I figure if I take one step at a time I can keep going.

I hate that I'm not going to go on the trip he and I planned, but I think i'll just have to go without him later this year. :D

Extreme-Vermicelli · 2021-05-13T13:18:42+00:00

It's been 2 and a half months of NC since I found out the FWB wasn't a F at all and walked away. I'm feeling confident, proud, happy with my growth, at peace, all of those things. Walking my path and holding my head high with dignity.

Then today I ran into him in the supermarket. He cut such a sad figure. A shadow of the confidence he used to carry. He gave me a meek hello. And I felt sorry for him. I felt sorry for him?!?!

Why do I have to feel this compassion for people who have treated me like shit? Why do I allow his past trauma to excuse his shitty behaviour towards me? Why do I have to seek the good and redeemable in people who don't deserve my empathy?

Ugh.

undertheunderbelly · 2021-05-10T15:59:10+00:00

Part III of the girlfriend series...

I stayed over her house again with my 2 dogs. Except she had chocolate on a table and apparently my dog got to it and we had to get hydrogen peroxide to get her to throw up. Any mood to get down was gone by that point - but she was still somewhat pushy about it until I said "not happening". We stayed up until 12AM to make sure the dogs were okay and finally fell asleep.

Then whenever I go out to see her, the dogs run out. All my friends usually immediately help corral the puppies back inside, but she just kind of stands pretty uselessly. I even tell her to help and she just... doesn't do anything. This was the third time it happened (I know, they push past me and sneak by, I'm a bad dog owner) and the third time she's just stood there. We were going to a dinner and a show and I was pretty peeved. Finally, I brought it up and said "Hey - when I ask you to help I really would like it if you actually helped." She seemed taken aback and apologized and thanked me for communicating and stated that she just didn't know how to discipline dogs. And that she didn't want to overstep boundaries.

But it's not boundaries! It's literally grabbing my dog so they don't run away. A stranger would help with that. Is it weird that I might consider that a deal breaker?

uaintshieeet · 2021-05-14T14:29:42+00:00

It's just been a series of absurd fights with my boyfriend for the past month. Each time, it was a hassle to reconcile and try to make things bearable between us, until I can figure out how to finally leave. And then yesterday, I just snapped.

We went out for dinner, and are having a relatively pleasant evening. For me it was the first time out to dinner in public, because of the strict lockdown restrictions in place since December 2020, and the place was really crowded, which left me a bit uneasy.

We were drinking and chatting and next thing I know he's angry about something I said, like it triggered an angst in him. I tried to reach out for his hand and calm him (the couple sitting next to us could definitely feel the tension!), because hey let's just pretend to have a pleasant dinner, take a walk, and air it out in a calm manner. No, he remained agitated from which point on all his questions felt like microinvalidations, as if he was trying to place the whole root of the problem back to me.

He removed his hand from mine, leaned back, and with a disgusting smirk he looks at me and says, "so, how do you want to solve this?" like it was my responsibility to de-escalate an already awkward situation, despite me saying I was enjoying dinner and can we please keep it like that.

I blinked, stood up, and walked away.

The night events just degenerated. I've been traumatized from past relationships to the point where I begin having panic attacks the moment I feel like the argument gets physical. I've told him that, he knows, and last night he deliberately used it against me. And I think that was the moment my fear became this anger of realizing I had absolutely no power: to protect myself, to make him have a conversation out of decency and respect, in a non-threatening environment. And none of those elements were present last night.

Dontstopmenow2021 · 2021-05-12T08:00:11+00:00

I never thought too much about texting but a fds user warned me about the textfests...and she is so right!

Fuc*boys are so widespread with their minimal texting that we may take a dude texting us non stop as a sign of great interest. Well, players have just adopted a different strategy: monopolizing your time to force a fake sense of intimacy and sleep with you with minimal investment (texting cost them nothing).

A guy who is looking for something serious will be as cautious as you are. He will value his time and will want to invest it wisely and carefully...the dude blowing up your phone is just after a cheap thrill and he has nothing to lose.

Even if he's serious about you, he's mostly mate guarding, and he doesn't leave you enough time to assess his character. The fake intimacy may be a way to distract you from the fact he hasn't much to offer you....

uselesssdata · 2021-05-12T14:41:42+00:00

Can someone tell what the actual fuck is wrong with me? It's been over a year and I still don't feel healed from my relationship/situationship with a narcissist LVM. I ended up finding out after the fact that he was engaged and just using me the whole time.

I don't want him back. At all. If he came back to me today I would not do it in a million years. He has few redeeming qualities. He's awkward, manipulative, mean, not funny, robotic, unoriginal, low intelligence, and emotionally a toddler. I don't want him back. And I don't want a new relationship, I prefer to be single right now. But I also don't want to move on. Like I prefer being stuck in this place of feeling betrayal and wanting vengeance. What the hell is this and what is wrong with me? I don't want to go back, and I don't want to be stuck here, but I also don't want to move forward? I'm really confused.

thruawoo90210 · 2021-05-10T13:31:34+00:00

I can't help but be really disappointed and uncomfortable at the FDS mods decision to post "sexy men". I don't want to expose myself to sexual/sexy photos. I have trauma associated with sex/sexuality, and I feel constantly bombarded by media and social media, and I thought I could escape nudity and soft core porn in FDS but I guess not? I guess I still have to worship and praise the sculpted douche nozzles even in FDS...

ConfusedPanda17 · 2021-05-10T21:51:51+00:00

How do you date as a single parent with very little free time? My son is with his dad maybe 2 days a week, some weeks he doesn't go at all. It's so incredibly difficult to meet anyone in person right now and online dating is not the best. The last time I met someone from OLD seemed nice enough at first and then ghosted (this was right before I found FDS). As an almost 30 year old single mum, I feel like my options for finding someone who deserves me are so low and I am getting to a point of hating being alone.

Chemical-Source-9600 · 2021-05-11T20:24:27+00:00

Just wanted to post on here to say my lv ex recently hit me up. I kicked him to the curb a month ago and now he’s calling and texting I guess trying to get back with me or waste my time again but I did not respond to his calls and texts and I am soo proud!!

poxto28 · 2021-05-13T06:53:17+00:00

I had a terrible emotionally and verbally abusive relationship for six months at the beginning of the pandemic that led me to FDS and therapy and leveling up, going back to school to finish my bachelors, starting a business, winning awards and scholarships, I feel confident and successful. I have been vetting this new guy for 3ish months, we met through a university class, and it took me a while to be able to trust him bc of my apprehension and my previous experiences in addition to my newfound self-respect and FDS knowledge. I am turning 24 this month, he just turned 21 yesterday and today he had his first couple of legal drinks, but I also don't want drinking to be an excuse for what he said, normally he doesn't drink at all even when presented the choice. We were laying in bed all cuddled up and I found him really attractive in his clothing (we had a date night to celebrate his birthday, after dinner he went to drink with his friend then he came back) so I was giving him compliments and being extra affectionate,

and after all my professions he says "Just suck my dick already"

and obviously the mood is gone, firstly bc I have TMJ and can't do that for too long even when I am in the mood and secondly, I'm obviously offended and he says sorry and that was not "cool of him" and he went to bed bc he was tired and had a small hangover and now I'm staying up bc I don't want to sleep in the same bed rn. My head is spinning bc I would never tolerate anyone saying this to me, and I also know that nobody is perfect, but in the FDS discussions I don't really see the imperfection of current HVM relationships, but I also know that he is not HVM until he is vetted for at minimum a year, and we have only recently just started sex after this many months, and this behavior is unlike the behavior he has shown consistently when completely sober for the entire duration of this relationship, so I am asking,

What should I be thinking as I assess this dilemma?

aquietsword · 2021-05-11T08:18:44+00:00

I must vent.

So when I watch tv shows I also check out subreddit discussions to have a space to talk about it. But lately, a lot of them have been so bad. And one particular flavor of bad is how the pickme women come out in FULL FORCE for some of these shows. The Good Girls sub is literally infested with people drooling over the legitimate bad guy who murders people just because he's hot. He's actually a terrible fucking person but everyone there loves him and hates anyone that gets in his way of committing actual crimes. And I remember back when I watched the Vampire Diaries, it was such a shitty sub because of how wild fans were about Delena - two pretty annoying characters imo. It's just NUTS.

vanillakitteh · 2021-05-11T22:12:53+00:00

Would love a second opinion: my ex made it hell whenever I needed something from him while we were getting divorced and he completely ignored me for things that were as simple as clicking on an email or sending me a number I needed to remove myself from an account. Now he needs a piece of information from me. Do I be the bigger person and send it or ignore it like he ignored all of my requests? (This man was a narcissistic and emotionally abusive person if that makes any difference)

FDS-GFY · 2021-05-11T16:03:32+00:00

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prettyexcitingnews · 2021-05-12T01:34:17+00:00

I found that the guy who I used to date briefly is in a relationship. He was mad cute, but when we dated he was hot and cold, overall emotionally unavailable. He said he’s open to a relationship but his behavior showed otherwise. So it just got me thinking how the fuck this guy is in a relationship but not with me? Idk how to describe this feeling... but definitely not something pleasant. I ended things with him cos I really couldn’t stand his inconsistent behavior that time, but now that I see him in a relationship... like how??? Haha maybe I feel a bit bitter cos I’ve been single for long time while all this fuckbois have a girlfriend 😂 rant done thank you sistas

notochord · 2021-05-14T19:08:23+00:00

Story time!

I just called out someone online for “kink-shaming” me because they made a joke about how bad vanilla sex and boundaries are. I said that joking about boundaries being optional in an intimate relationship is just one degree away from making rape jokes. That inspired a whole tirade in response about how BDSM is all about boundaries and CoMmUnIcAtIoN and it’s “problematic” to say bdsm inspires sexual violence. Instead of taking the energy to respond to that, I just said “I’m glad that’s been your experience” and logged out. Not going to keep engaging with that person and hopeful my comment inspires a few other people to wake up about intimate partner violence.

laffytaggy · 2021-05-15T01:40:45+00:00

How to get over feeling like a loser? Now that I don’t date losers and cut out most LV friends, my weekend nights are pretty dead. I don’t drink and that’s what most single people do my age do. I have some social hobbies and a full life but the weekends are a little tough being alone. I don’t love going out to dinners or shows alone bc men gawk or approach me...and so I feel vulnerable. It usually hits when one somewhat LV friend texts and asks what I’m up to on a Friday night..I just don’t respond or say I had dinner (which I do, just take out and alone).

juicy_lime · 2021-05-16T19:36:04+00:00

Sad to see a tiktok video about women not accepting walks or coffee dates for first dates, that was posted here a while ago, making Reddit front page as a "cringe" post. If anyone had any doubt that Reddit is 98% entitled LV men, here is your proof.

gigababejfl_ · 2021-05-11T22:10:23+00:00

A couple of months ago after Reddit banned more female-only subs, I set out to make a "female-friendly Reddit". I can't code, I was just furious so this continues to be a JOURNEY lol

But yesterday I had a major breakthrough with my site https://ThePinkPill.co

It's pretty much Reddit without the cringy manospherians nipping at our feet. None of the witch hunts, none of the "Not All Men", none of the overly sensitive rules meant to protect everyone but women.

I wish I could exaggerate about what the last few months were like just to pull this off. Setbacks helped me by motivating me to keep going. Like how a male developer who wanted to "help for free" attacked and destroyed our servers when I told him it wasn't okay to call women whores.

I could use a hand from women who are pretty passionate about women-only spaces and content meant to BENEFIT women or give them access.

Ideas, feedback, it's all welcome. I've had an especially difficult time finding female developers.

I'm so beat lol but I had to do this since the minute I decided to. So yah that's me for this week

uselesssdata · 2021-05-10T20:28:37+00:00

Is there ever a reasonable excuse for a guy not to follow his girlfriend on Instagram if they are both somewhat active on it? (following/liking pics?)

The situation: A nearly middle-aged male with a private account who doesn't post pics, but follows and likes pics every day, who does not follow and is not followed by his live-in gf, whose profile is public, but doesn't post any pics anymore (since the start of the relationship, but also likes and follows people).

Is this situation reasonable in any circumstance? A red flag? Or is it actually better for couples not to follow each other on social media? I've gotten a huge range of answers on this surprisingly

moondreamer7 · 2021-05-13T22:38:05+00:00

Today was my second date during which I collected my final impression of him. He is nice and easy to talk to, respectful etc but, it didn't click for me. I don't feel that spark, the attraction. When we met for the first date, we both felt the same way about each other, we liked each others personality but we didn't felt that spark. Still, we decided to try it so we made out which was nice at first. But I came to conclusion that it was mostly nice because I hadn't kissed in over two years. The second date was also interesting for that reason. But towards its end, I realised I don't feel like it. The novelty of kissing and touching wore off and so, I grew bored of kissing him. He said he is still unsure how he feels about me, but he for sure wanted to kiss more than I did. So yeah, I will tell him that we won't continue dating.

I do feel a bit sorry, but what can you do. I discovered new things about me, like it's important for me to feel attracted to a person, no matter how great their personality is. And that neck kisses are for sure great. Also that my partner needs to have the same level of confidence as I do. Like when people meet me, I'm sure they can feel my confidence and personality through how I look and my body language. He just... fades into background.

So overall, an interesting experience. By the way, cut us some slack, we are both 20 and don't have much experience in dating.

eclo · 2021-05-16T16:30:09+00:00

I browsed OLD bc I was very bored today and somehow men have got even worse since last time I looked.

hopeful_flounder93 · 2021-05-17T00:48:48+00:00

This will 100% get lost in the noise but I just wanted to say how much I appreciate and LOVE this community!! I've been reading everyday since 2019. It's just so so reassuring to find a place where people's views lined up so perfectly with mine and makes me so so proud to stand in solidarity with you ladies 🥰❤

2021-05-10T10:26:18+00:00

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RacePinkBlack · 2021-05-10T19:21:43+00:00

What tips do you have for women traveling alone?

betsybasset · 2021-05-11T04:27:20+00:00

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Trojaneer_South · 2021-05-12T03:08:13+00:00

Venting/celebrating the end of a situationship that I let fester for too long. The "small win" is that it was an organic relationship from a shared hobby/not from OLD. But it devolved into his proposed activities being... me coming over for pizza... me coming over for brunch... I was like... dude, spring has sprung, I wanna be outside/out and about (we're both vaxxed). Stop trying to lure me into your den.

He had the audacity to act sad and say I was the one who didn't want to hang out (even though I proposed alternatives each time)... Bye!

Trojaneer_South · 2021-05-12T03:13:09+00:00

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CroneRaisedMaiden · 2021-05-12T14:53:45+00:00

So I have the means and ability to travel pretty much anywhere and anytime I want, but honestly I’m scared to go by myself. Now I’ll take trips to semi-local (5-6 hours away) with no problems and I’ve worked out of state on my own but in terms of foreign travel, I’m too scared. My close women friends are either pick me’s or broke, and I’m picky about who I spend my time with obvi. Not sure if this is something I SHOULD get over or if it’s healthy to be too cautious to go to like Bali alone

TheSunDoesNotAsk · 2021-05-13T22:47:01+00:00

I've been posting comments for awhile and I'm still not flaired. I could really use the help though so I'm just going to repeat my question from last week.

I've really picked up a lot of bad messages from "sex positivity" and I want to detox myself from kink and BDSM culture. Does anyone have advice on this? Any time I look on Google and the articles just say "learn to accept it and be open minded" but I don't want to accept a relationship dynamic where I'm hit for some scrotes sexual satisfaction. I hate how normalized this shit this and I feel like I'm being gaslit constantly for wanting to quit.

holographic_kitten · 2021-05-15T21:35:59+00:00

Does anyone ever get worried blocking? I always have this fear it will bring out an even worse response than whatever already made me decide to hit the brakes!

lisanolisa · 2021-05-11T03:06:26+00:00

Read the sex work thread on Twitter and whew the amount of backlash it got. Asking sex workers to not cater to pedophiles and other harmful tropes is problematic huh🤔

vocabularylover · 2021-05-14T03:15:15+00:00

I feel pathetic even making this post, but I’m hoping I can get a healthy reality check.

I employed FDS prior to getting into a relationship with my current boyfriend and it worked like a charm. However, now that we are nearing the one year mark I am noticing that he is not being as engaging over text and doesn’t make much of an effort to get back to me in a reasonable amount of time. I have responded by pulling back myself, but is there anything else I should be doing so he stops being complacent and pursues me like he did before he had me?

DisastrousSundae · 2021-05-14T17:14:44+00:00

This sub is great, because it really brings into stark contrast how the rest of the internet and even the world is just 99% male thoughts and opinions oppressively bearing down on you. Even most women are brainwashed into spewing male thoughts and feelings.

ga_shina · 2021-05-12T14:53:27+00:00

Need advice: Why would a guy you are talking to (OLD) still have pictures with his ex from 2 years ago?

BlueJeanMistress · 2021-05-13T21:05:16+00:00

Off topic but how do I get it stop showing “new” comments as the default on any thread I go on in any subreddit?

I already tried logging into old Reddit and messing around with my preferences but it wouldn’t save anything.

intergalacticanon44 · 2021-05-14T06:46:20+00:00

How is it that I’ve been blocked from commenting on subs I’ve never commented on?? That’s so weird, how is that allowed?

virgoran · 2021-05-16T05:29:17+00:00

What's the FDS stance on men who pay for boosts/premium on dating apps?

growing_flower_ · 2021-05-17T01:30:20+00:00

my fellow ladies who went med school, what was it like? I wanna do it, but im so so scared.

throwmeupandacross · 2021-05-14T10:13:01+00:00

I'm so drained. My grandfather was put in hospital, so my mother's flown over there to take care of him. Meanwhile as the oldest girl in my family I'm de facto left in charge of the housework :( Cooking, cleaning etc is way more tiring than when I was living by myself. Plus, I'm keeping up with my studies but I'm behind on applying for jobs, and with my graduation date looming I'm more stressed.

I've booked my first therapy session for next week, so fingers-crossed that'll help!

Real-Current · 2021-05-15T20:01:26+00:00

As I am recuperating from a minor medical procedure, I have a lot more time on my hands as I rest. I’ve lurked and commented here now for quite some time but never delved too much further into Reddit other than here. Whelp, I made the mistake of venturing over to anther women based sub but which does allow men to comment and suffice to say, my heart sank. One commentator in particular was sickening, saying women wanted to be raped. I looked further at his post history...full of porn, citing PUA tactics, disgusting remarks about women. I’ve literally never been this shocked and repulsed in my life. I didn’t want to believe that Reddit and honestly, men, were like this. My eyes are wide open.

Vrijesak · 2021-05-14T10:08:20+00:00

What do you think about HVM having IG? I don't have an IG acc, so I might be biased, but from what I've witnessed, for guys IG primarily serves for stalking and looking at thirst traps.

I might be too strict(even if am I don't care) but what's FDS stance on it?

Dottie_Dottie · 2021-05-14T23:20:20+00:00

A few days or a week or so ago, someone here linked a YouTube video of two guys (I think one was a therapist) watching twilight and discussing how problematic it was. I wanted to watch more of their videos but didn’t save the post. Does anyone know who they are?

ForeverHoney · 2021-05-18T01:54:08+00:00

I fucking hate men, a fellow coworker(from another department I’m not familiar with) assaulted me today at work and I started crying. It was an involuntary reaction to something so traumatic. Ofc other people try to minimize what happened and told me “toughen up” and tried to “it’s okay sweetie” me. It just felt in-genuine while the coworker went unscathed and how “it was just a mistake.” Not even an apology from the male coworker while I’m getting apologizes from other women saying it for him. Fucking asshole. I just needed to vent this out.

steeped_tea123 · 2021-05-14T11:30:31+00:00

Haha the tik tok voice is suing.

You go girl!

https://www.cbc.ca/news/business/canadian-actor-suing-tiktok-1.6024369

Title	Weekly FDS Check-In
Author	Unlikely-Marzipan
Upvotes	84
Comments	273
Date	May 10, 2021 8:55 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/n8zvc9/weekly_fds_checkin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/weekly-fds-check-in.757941 https://theredarchive.com/post/757941

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