We don’t talk enough about the “Settle Down” woman enough

Also known as the “Good girl” or the “Wifey material” woman that is often prioritized when men decide to take dating seriously after ignoring these women.

Because this sub is male dominated, there’s always talk about AF/BB and being the guy a woman settles with “post wall”, but why don’t we ever talk about the “settle down” woman and her plight? Based on conversations I’ve had with men, here’s the levels of attractiveness men tend to break women into: cute, pretty, and hot (interchangeable with sexy). Majority of men tend to find hot/sexy highly sexually desirable. They lust after her greatly and many would do anything to have a chance with her in some shape or form regardless of their relationship status. They watch her in porn. They follow her on social medias. They still lust after her even if they’re in healthy, good sexfilled relationships. But from what I’ve seen, most men want to settle down and marry cute with pretty as a close second. Awhile ago, I interviewed some men on this sub asking them whether they’d rather date a “hot” or “cute” woman. 19 of the participants said they would rather marry the cute woman, while only one said the “hot” woman. Their reasonings? Cute is “better because she’ll take care of me”, she’s more attainable than a hot woman, she has less competition, she’s “less out there”, and she will expect less/has less higher standards.

I’m not making this post to shit on men for their preferences. I’m just bringing to light that there is definitely an inverse AF/BB for women. Because, what really is the incentive for being a “settle down” woman? You get the relationship. You get the ring. You get the children. But on the flip side, you’re mainly chosen because men see you as someone who would be a better homemaker and mother. And someone who will take care of them and do for them. You’re chosen because you’re less desirable thus not threatening the male’s ego with external male completion. You’re chosen because you’re more conservative so he feels like other men won’t lust after you the same way he lusts after the women he’s telling you he doesn’t want you to be. You’re chosen because he wants to do less work for more reward to obtain and keep you. You’re chosen because you’re more likely to settle for whatever he has to offer and accept it, because your other options are relatively limited compared to the hot woman. You’re chosen because you’re convenient and reliable. You’re the safest option. Not the most desirable option, just the safest. One of the guys I interviewed stated he believes that “a man is only as loyal as his options”. So not only are you the safest option, but you’re also probably the most disposable (via cheating, dumping, divorce, etc) when a better option, usually hotter, presents itself. You get the commitment but at what cost?

Whether being the “settle down” woman or man is a good thing or a bad thing is subjective. I think there’s pros and cons, and timing is important. I just think the “Settle Down” woman deserves to be talked about more on this sub. I appreciate users like u/Ratched Angle for trying to bring this plight to light on PPD!