Why do people expect men to 'just get it' when sociosexual development takes years in other primates?

Kentucky_Supreme · 2022-08-28T15:27:21+00:00

So true. I noticed that growing up.

When you're a little kid, sex is "bad". When you get a little older, you get teased and made fun of for liking a girl. But by your late teens (high school) you better be Gigachad thundercock or else you're a "loser". But also, if you find women sexually attractive and want to meet them and date them, that's "creepy". And if you don't meet women regularly and have a consistent love/sex life, then you're an "incel".

FlyV89 · 2022-08-29T15:18:07+00:00

I've been telling this for a while now, the men who have no romantic experience when young tend to be "stuck" in that phase (late teens - early twenties) because they couldn't develop the skills requiered to keep a relationship working.

These are the "late bloomers" people speak about here, dudes that in their late twenties or early thirties, somehow, finally "get it" and start dating around and avoiding commitment.

And these are, without any doubt, those men who women complain about, the dudes with the "Peter Pan Syndrome", the "commitment-phobic" douchebags that don't want to seattle down.

I've seen it countless times, they get with a woman their age but are clueless about what to do with a relationship, or they get with someone a lot younger and do what teens do.

Women also need to understand this is not bad, it's just the way it is.

It happened to me in my last relationship, in a different way thou. My ex fiancee came from a wealthy family, she was an incredible girl who spent her youth traveling around and having a lot of fun. I, on the other hand, had busted my ass working to keep my younger brothers and with the head outside the water (my dad and mom got away from US when we were kids).

When I met my ex fiancee she was ready to settle down and have kids. I was just finished raising "mine", and I wanted to take some rest, enjoy life and do what I ever wanted to do but never could. I wanted to travel with her, go to parties, night dates, buy a bike and take the highway on a Sunday morning.

She had done all that. Wasn't a thrill for her anymore.

I see myself in lots of dudes my age out there. Men have it a little harder than women while growing up. Women get things handled to her, dates, attention, relationships, sex, like hell some even get trips and cars for free.

By the time most girls hit 25 they have already lived more than your average 35 years old dude, that's why a 25 years old guy is no match for a girl his age.

That's, arguably, why women think men are "inmature", or that they hit maturity faster than men.

I think it's a matter of exposition to different experiences and oportunities. Women hace more oportunities because those men who can offer things to women do it more than the reverse.

I've never seen a wealthy 30 something single woman paying a trip to her 20 yo' boy-toy, but I've met girls that literally travel around the world all the year with different men.

Imagine how thrilled this girl will be when she realizes her same age boyfriend can offer her only a travel to their grandpa's house in the country side.

Not sayin girls are right and guys are wrong, we just have it different. Dudes have to work a little more, and they get always less unless they are privileged (or blessed).

I remember the parties I was invited when I was young, the wealthiest dudes in my school always throwed the best ones. I wasn't wealthy, but I was good looking, so I was kinda the guy who brought the girls right. The parties were full of girls of different backgrounds, predominantly girls of middle working class families, but you could find also girls from the "hoods" who looked good enough and put on their best clothes and make up for the night. They got free shots and spent a good time, ocasionally having sex with rich and good looking dudes...

But my friends, the average dudes from average families weren't allowed unless they played in a rock band or somethin.

That's some teen shitty anecdote I know but it gave me some perspective about how the world works, absolutely, and repeated itself over and over during my entire life, in varying degrees and forms.

Dudes have to work harder, I agree, and as humans they need to have those experiences in perder to catch the rest of the people.

It's a problem thou, because in raw numbers women and men are even, and when women want to settle down they will inevitably have to pair up with these men... It's a shitty show for some couples.

AloneOnTheStrange · 2022-08-28T23:16:27+00:00

Western society doesn't care much about raising, training, and molding children into functional adults. In all respects, not just sexually.

We spend our teen years thrown into a building together, so someone can keep an eye on us while our parents go to work. During which time we're expected to just figure things out on our own. If you don't have good parents or parent figures to fall back on for this early development, you have to teach yourself.

Most people aren't compassionate enough to both notice when you need help socially, and actually provide that assistance where you need it. It's mostly just awkwardness. Helping someone with intimate issues requires a certain intimacy towards that person. And that level of intimacy is awkward for most of us.

MickIsBlue · 2022-08-28T15:37:00+00:00

Because women want the best possible candidate to date/procreate with.

They don't like the idea of dating men with the potential to be better. Just want the guys already close to or already at the finish line. And in America being someone who has a wife or gotten laid is a sort of rite of passage for men

worldwidescrotes · 2022-08-28T22:52:30+00:00

our society is a complete failure when it comes to educating boys and girls about sexuality.

people growing up having no understanding of themselves, their feelings, their needs and wants and attachment proclivities, and each gender has no clue about how the other thinks, and both genders, but men in particular aren’t taught to care about what other people think or to consider their feelings and needs (and we have no idea of eachothers’ needs because we never learned about them to begin with) - so everything is a total catastrophe.

i think it can be repaired even later in life if you get lucky and have a good partner or friend, or you learn from a good book or website etc. but no one seems to be interested in teaching this stuff because they don’t realize it’s a problem.

understanding that there is one is the first step

PresidenteWeevil · 2022-08-28T15:42:43+00:00

Because it's a screening process. You said it yourself, If you had good past sexual success, you will be able to "get it". You will be confident, social, sexual, those are the marks of a better men. Past success is an indicator of future success. You are betting on a horse that already won some medals.

But in real life people just expect sexually unsuccessful men, who matured late socially and sexually, to wash it off and just 'be confident' when they reach college / their 20s.

No, Mr Bond, we expect you to die. If you are a a socially awkward men, people, and especially women, expect you to disappear. That is one of the reason "red pill" is seeing as a dishonest manipulation. You were suppose to understand all right away, if you have to learn you are not a real deal.

Nobody cares how stuff works. Nobody cares about socioeconomics and the future of humanity. you are overthinking. It's all about feelings in the moment. Successful men = good. Unsuccessful men = eeww.

Hard_Corsair · 2022-08-28T19:53:51+00:00

It's a function of how normal distribution works. If you end up behind the curve, either you take drastic measures to catch up or you go fuck yourself.

wtknight · 2022-08-28T18:04:39+00:00

There are a lot of women who "don't get it" either. But they don't end up without sex as often. They just end up without boyfriends who respect them or they end up being plates for guys who sexually use them. This isn't something that's unique to men. It's just the results for unsuccessful men are often different than the results for unsuccessful women.

Ohmaygahh · 2022-08-30T14:53:14+00:00

That's the big secret that most people never arrived at... children's SOCIAL development during their critical formative years of life was THE MOST important fucking time. It was either intentionally nurtured or neglected. Most mal adjusted people? They were neglected or negatively conditioned.

That's it.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-08-28T15:44:53+00:00

Like you said, the experience during adolescence is very important for men's development. These men in their 20's than missed it are at a severe disadvantage and expect other people to be able to help them.

There's nothing we can really say to them except "get yourself out there and start trying."

Electrical-Elk9058 · 2022-08-28T15:19:05+00:00

Because women are eugenic and it filters weak males

Overlord484 · 2022-08-29T02:27:04+00:00

Vagina is in higher demand than penis, so women can do whatever they want.
It's also genetically advantageous for women to prefer men that magically already know everything.

AcanthocephalaNew947 · 2022-08-28T15:36:30+00:00

Dating isn’t kindergarten where everyone gets a cookie.

I don’t think it’s an expectation of ‘shake it off a be confident’ it’s not even a second thought to most.

I mean obviously we’re here discussing it but in general people aren’t concerned, if you don’t date you don’t date.

It’s not a brush off so much as obliviousness.

I think that’s why this need for others to fix it and make it better is just leaving people open to grifters. Outside of your family and friends people don’t care.

Damn that sounded black pill huh. I promise I’m not, it’s just unrealistic to expect random people who have no issue dating to be concerned with those who got left behind. If that type of care was to start happening you’d likely be at the back of the line. I’d say making up for the emotional toll of abused children would be first.

dysonRing · 2022-08-28T16:56:12+00:00

Women expecting confident men to just sprout up is the single biggest vetting failure in female history, men can be obscenely confident to tackle life and work and still fumble with women, the fact that they self select against this means women deserve every single failure they get.

Extremiditty · 2022-08-28T18:44:21+00:00

Here’s the thing. I’m what many would consider a reasonably attractive women, smart, funny, reasonably successful (if you want more feminine traits I can cook, and sew, and I keep a good house, great with kids, but those are really just bonuses and not my personality) blah blah you know the usual criteria. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 23. Didn’t even get to any penis touching until 22, had my first true kiss in college. Went on a handful of dates in high school, played spin the bottle and all that, but didn’t have a real boyfriend until I was an adult. Since then I’ve been fine. I truly didn’t blossom as someone men took interest in until my mid 20s.

In High school I had reasonable confidence in pretty much every other area but I didn’t have sexual/romantic confidence/skill (and neither did a lot of boys around me so then not having the skill or confidence to ask me out made me assume no one was interested) and I just had to take the plunge to find myself in that way. I had a habit of being someone’s “bro”, and I do have a lot of male friends that I enjoy that relationship with, so in a way I guess I was friend zoned with the men I wanted more with. So I had to get better at overtly showing I was interested and being ok if they didn’t reciprocate. Some of that growth also meant being willing to give men I wasn’t super attracted to a shot which is something I find a lot of men complaining about this topic are not willing to do or feel no women would do it for them. I’ll also be honest, not as many people as you think are having sex or even relationships in high school. I’d say maaaybe 25% at a mid size school like I went to. People were just focused on other things or just as awkward at navigating things.

My first boyfriend (at 23) was lovely but I wasn’t into him on a personal level and I pretty quickly stopped being into him physically as well. I’ve had several romantic and sexual relationships since than and I feel pretty secure overall in what I have to offer and what I want. Since I developed what I was looking for, immediate personality differences that I knew would be a problem, and how much physicality means to me I have done much better. I also have gotten better on just going on dates. They might suck but you’ve only wasted an hour or so and if you’re comfortable you can ask for an honest reason why they weren’t feeling it if it was more on their side. Sometimes the reason hurts like “I just didn’t feel attraction” but that’s part of dating and you have to remind yourself that you are not everyone’s type. Sometimes the criticism is good advice. I can be crass and maybe I need to dial it back on firs meeting people, In a relationship I can be codependent and needy and that’s something I HAVE to work on. My emotional regulation isn’t great and I need to work on that too. I’m a spitfire and I like that, but there is a line where that becomes toxic. And with all that, I still am sometimes worried I will never find someone that just fits into my life, we really like each other, we’re both healthy, the timing lines up, etc and that maybe I end up alone.

And you’re right. We put out a message that men are constantly horny, they should be sexually experienced, they should be aggressive, but at the same time you are told not to be scary or off putting. And what would be charming confidence in a man a woman is attracted to can be weird and off putting from a man she isn’t attracted to. And that’s confusing as hell to navigate. So I understand the frustration. Add into that that I as a woman do have more opportunities for casual or just finding dates, but trust me we are out there if you are honest and upfront about just wanting a hookup or that you want something with the potential to be more serious. I don’t expect total social awareness. The man I’ve ever been most in love with is absolutely autistic and those quirks were part of why I loved him. He masked some of them on our first date and while I wish he hadn’t had to it’s probably why it went well. I’m all for being yourself but tailor it to your very best self for those initial meetings. Do some introspection about how you come across, what parts of you do you love and are non negotiable and what do you think may need work or put people off. Therapy can be great for that.

I realize this was a novel but TL/DR this is the best advice I can give. First off I hope you have woman friends you do not view in a sexual context. That is important and they can and will help your personal growth and how you view women and they will wingwoman you. Also even the women you do find attractive are just people. People you can form many different types of connections to. View getting to know her and helping her get to know you as a person as the end goal of a date or interaction. Sex/relationship should not be the ultimate goal at first, just meeting someone new and being genuinely interested. If there is obvious mutual interest and a physical component then move into exploring that. Lastly check yourself for bitterness. I can pick this up in a guy a mile away. An under the surface animosity toward women and a feeling of being entitled to my attention or attraction just because you are nice to me. I will stay away from those men because as long as they are holding onto that they will never respect me or see me as an equal. If you are truly just incredibly unfortunate looking then yes it will be hard and that isn’t fair.

Bottom line is, I do expect a degree of social and self awareness. We are not monkey’s. We’re close but we have the ability to research, self reflect, and communicate in ways that those animals do not. There are great books for people who struggle on appropriate social interaction “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie is great and much less about manipulation than it sounds. Find resources on how to recognize subtle body language if it is something you struggle with. A lot of women are afraid to show overt discomfort when they feel that being approached in public. Read books like Attached about attachment styles/past trauma and how they influence us romantically, read relationship and sex books more geared to women like “Come as you Are” as understanding the other perspective allows you to empathize and maybe reevaluate your strategy or motivations. That’s also why I love this sub. When there is good discourse it can help you see sides to things you hadn’t considered before and help you self reflect.

This is insanely long and maybe not super coherent. Sorry about that, had mimosas at brunch. If anyone struggling ever wants to DM and talk with an open mind I am happy to, I try to be as nonjudgmental as possible.

CatchPhraze · 2022-08-28T16:01:51+00:00

It doesn't matter if it's easy. Either figure out being attractive or figure out getting comfortable being alone. There is no other solutions. If it's understanding your after, then sure, being a socially clueless guy sounds hellish to me. Doesn't mean I'd date one

Rexagon_2017 · 2022-08-28T16:11:44+00:00

There is this idea that people are just individuals, rather than social animals that need Community, Identity, and Place.

AnnoKano · 2022-08-28T17:00:33+00:00

It’s not just me guys, even the monkeys aren’t getting laid!

“Men who matured late socially and sexually, are expected to wash it off and be confident”

Regardless of how difficult it is, this is nonetheless what men need to do.

ManWazo · 2022-08-28T18:34:12+00:00

Idk, most people (of all genders) I know who are sexually active started in their late 20s or early 30s. When I was early 20, everying had a single digit ncount and now most people I knoe are two or three digits ncount. From my experience, it seems the "maturing" occurs more in the late 20s than in college years.

Endlessalt · 2022-08-28T17:25:03+00:00

Are men these days useless imbeciles? We can definitely learn how to socialize by socializing with females as friends first. If you're a man with no female friends and you struggle with women, get female friends. If you can't socialize at all, are you autistic or something? Cos then you probably need special psychologist sessions to learn how. Otherwise just practice like a normal person

sarkington · 2022-08-28T15:20:59+00:00

You’re supposed to be watching older males, just like da monkeys

I promise you men can learn

HelloIttybittykitty · 2022-08-28T21:40:38+00:00

Yup. Totally the fault of society.

pikachu0401 · 2022-08-29T07:37:22+00:00

Other primates also tear peoples' faces off when provoked... can I just like rip faces off when I get mad?

Flintblood · 2022-08-29T13:05:32+00:00

Good point. I’m not trying to paint the past as all good but cultures of the past had social rules and rites of passage that made the transition less confusing. Men in the mixed up western cultures are probably the most confused because their past cultural parameters have been systematically eroded and their families have been fragmented. Far fewer men today had respected, experienced males around in their childhood than when they may have had 30, 40, 50 years ago. Many of these men who grew up without adult male figures in the household or in their lives every week had no reliable role models to guide them and then you have rapid cultural shifts making aimlessness even worse.

Larry-Man · 2022-08-29T14:49:25+00:00

A lot of this is poor nurturing by parents in the west. If we wanna take a long historical stance a lot of men in WWII ended up dying, coming back with PTSD and shell-shock, and creating a ton of generational trauma. A lot of people grew up with some really weird norms.

We also raise boys in a culture holding them less responsible for certain behaviours of “boys will be boys” when they’re actually being dicks or being entitled. Boys don’t grow up with good emotional support or boundaries. The whole system is kind of broken. If a boy grows up without being taught empathy or some of the people skills to actually be a likeable person as an adult (think about excusing teasing, bullying and roughhousing as failing young boys when it goes too far - nothing wrong with a bit of rough play but it ends up crossing over).

I think we’ve failed men for a while now in their youth and as adults they are flailing.

Runoutofideas777 · 2022-08-29T15:10:01+00:00

This is spot on. For me it was kind of a struggle to switch from “sexuality bad” to “sexuality awesome”.

Like I remember when growing up everyone used to make fun of you for liking a girl and in order to avoid being ridiculed, you just had to hide the fact that you liked someone. At least that’s how I interpreted it and what made sense to me. And before I knew it, it became not only ok to like girls, but pretty much mandatory to hit on them as almost everyone was doing it. Idk I guess nobody told me it was ok to show girls that you like them because it took me to be 18 to get my first kiss and 2 more years of working on myself to actually have some confidence and hitting on girls I like and finally get laid.

TodTheRod01 · 2022-08-29T16:36:37+00:00

Because women wait at the finish line more often than not....so they don't care.

they don't care about the struggle/journey and what it takes...they just care about the end product

no_bling_just_ding · 2022-08-28T17:20:18+00:00

yeah thats basically what happens in tradcuck cultures. dont date, dont touch, dont flirt, dont talk but marrying a complete stranger is A-OK!

Stop_Maximum · 2022-08-28T15:23:23+00:00

I’ve never heard of men being shamed for their sexuality. Or do you care to explain?

To be honest, if I understand correctly, you can’t really expect people to be sexually mature or even have that opportunity. It won’t happen to everyone and that cannot be changed. No man or woman is guaranteed any relationship of any kind, including intimacy.

Cat_Lover259 · 2022-08-28T15:23:22+00:00

There’s not much to do about that. Many young women do not want to participate in anything sexual when they hit puberty due to pregnancy scare and being slut shamed—also, they’re CHILDREN. Young men should just learn to suppress it instead of using it as an excuse later in life.

Conscious_Ad_6572 · 2022-08-28T22:12:27+00:00

even when humans become space civilization, we going to be tribal monkeys in brain,

Millions of years of evolution

LeeroyX · 2022-08-28T22:38:48+00:00

Finally, acceptance that building social skills is fundamentally important in dating. I have even read some discussion on how important it is for both men and women to be able to date a range of people and have a range of experiences (good and bad) as that very knowledge helps find a life partner.

If only this base line would hold over to other threads.

jedzy · 2022-08-29T08:47:07+00:00

There are plenty of books you can read that demystify all of this - she comes first and come as you are both come to mind. Excellent starting points if you are worried you missed the starting block.

Women have the same problems- mature late and you feel like everyone else knows what they are doing when you don’t.

I would also say that I did not have really good sexual encounters (with connection) until I was in my late 40s/50s - when I treated sex and relationships as a project and worked on my knowledge of the subjects.

attendquoi · 2022-08-28T17:54:26+00:00

The same reason I expect women to just get it...?

carlenvirgo · 2022-08-28T22:39:30+00:00

I don’t think it matters in humans. Some guys don’t even become interested until they get older.

WOPR-1983 · 2022-08-28T23:06:09+00:00

Hmmm... the assertive guys who figure out the social maze to get the cheese at the end are rewarded with the sex they want.

Sounds like there are reasons why these men are reproducing and the other men are on Reddit screeching about involuntary celibacy.

I've done a lot of difficult things in my life. Getting laid wasn't one of them.

Sure, it took some exercise, fashion sense, social acuity, and the time to cultivate opportunities, but it was certainly do-able.

ruboyuri · 2022-08-28T15:48:59+00:00

We don’t

We expect you to learn because you want sex

Just like women learn to get status, money and love

Seems reasonable

operapeach · 2022-08-28T16:43:04+00:00

Women don’t want to teach you basic things like manners, what’s creepy and what’s not, how to clean things, how to do laundry, how to be hygienic, and how to cook. The problem is not that you’re not 100% there yet, but that you expect women to be your mother and teach you how to be a functional human being.

SnooCats37 · 2022-08-28T18:55:48+00:00

Have you really got to the point you’re comparing yourselves to monkeys?

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retropillow · 2022-08-29T01:03:04+00:00

are you asking why society is expecting a specimen of an advanced, intelligent and civilized specie to be able to evolve socially when a speciment of a wild and uncivilized specie cannot????

neetykeeno · 2022-08-29T04:41:50+00:00

Life's not ever going to be easy for everyone, there will always be winners and losers. A decent society allows/provides very basic safety net style stuff and ongoing opportunities for the losers to attempt to make good...what it doesn't provide is just handing out winning to people who don't really seem have it in them to be competitive.

Your safety net includes... countless opportunities to see, communicate with and be in the presence of women of many different sorts as we are one of the most free societies this way that has ever existed, the total elimination of duels of honour so your hamfisted efforts are less likely to lead to another man killing you, more practical support for looking good (hair, teeth, skin, face, exercise technology, cosmetic surgery, even height to some extent because we've got probably the least obtrusive lifts ever), more communication and social support via technology than ever before omg Facebook FFS, do you fucking ever sit and imagine how hands on maintenance of a social circle was before social media?

We socialise our young people in schools that provide similar cultural experiences, we have broader cultural settings that provide topics of conversation to all share. We have psychologists to talk to if the burden of talking it out with you is becoming too much for your friends and family.

Things are literally better than they have ever been. The only extra burden is losers are now more aware of how much they are not at the top of the pile and how they seem to have blown through every opportunity on offer without making it work.

I don't care how much random loser men desire sex. Why should I? I have numerous things in life I need and they don't care how much I need and I know that men in general or even particular men don't particularly care about even if women decide to help men out with their erect dicks and crawling loneliness.

So. If you are a loser man go ask another male friend to help you out and if none of your male friends can or will ...well that's a competitive environment for you. You wouldn't care about finding a pretty girl for some other guy if you had your pretty girl...you might pretend to help because it is a good grift but you wouldn't care.

ThrowRAmtf · 2022-08-29T06:57:35+00:00

well, I tend to disagree a little.

Do not forget that we are not fully "primates", we have consciousness and the sexual desire can be, somewhat, driven and educated.

I have a teenage daughter, I too have noticed that "by default" her brain is attracted to bad boys, but this can be taught somewhat, if you have a good relationship with her. You can talk, you can discuss possible outcomes, there are books, tv series.

Bad boys in fiction are different from bad boys in reality... and having a crush for a fictional bad boy is somewhat "safe".

Parents can do much harm to their kids but also can help to leverage the primal instincts and make the girls a little more conscious about male behaviors.

MsGoogleEyes · 2022-08-28T21:35:38+00:00

all most men need to do is accept women into their lives

boomershack · 2022-08-28T20:39:12+00:00

Amazing thread. My first gf in grade 7, she was 12, me 11. I didn't know what an orgasm was and she laughed at me. I was a Godly boy and she showed me ungodly things 😔.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-08-28T22:42:19+00:00

Most dude do tho.

FancyCocktailOlive · 2022-08-29T13:00:30+00:00

If a male is deprived of social opportunities in adolescence it’s his own fault unless he has overbearing parents of a developmental disorder.

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-08-28T21:20:44+00:00

overcoming that is by no means easy

No, but it is simple. You either bear the pain of growth, or bear pain of regret.

Why do people expect men to ‘just get it’

Homo Sapiens whilst primates, are the wisest. We’re better at learning(arguably). So what takes our distant relatives years, for some of us; pick it up instantaneously. That’s the difference. That said family dynamic/environment, and especially role models, heavily influence socio-sexual development. Especially at key age/development stages.

Which segues into nature vs nurture. How further evolved than our biology are we? Can we transcend our biological similarities to our primate cousins? Or are some of us stuck? Needing years to learn?

Ultimately the comparison is a poor one. Agreed we share similarities with our primate cousins, especially from a physiological standpoint. We however have evolved far more complexities. As individuals, families, communities, and ultimately societies. The quicker we learn about ourselves, and especially ourselves in context to the communities we socialise in; the simpler our social, and ultimately sex lives become.

Godspeed and good luck!

krevdditn · 2022-08-28T23:20:44+00:00

you know how I think we overcame the human condition back then?
Through psychedelics which later on became religion. (no sources to back that up)
I think that is the only thing that enabled us to separate ourselves from other primates. The stoned ape theory.
We're still stuck in this primate mentality and need to disconnect ourselves from it, not embrace it like wild savages.
I don't think we realize how capable humans were at manipulating/altering our genetics and thought processes over hundreds of generations through psychedelics and now with genetic engineering we're able to fast track human evolution at light speed probably to our own determinant but I guess we'll see how this experiment plays out.

Wrong-Wrap942 · 2022-08-29T07:39:52+00:00

So what is your proposed solution to this?

medlabunicorn · 2022-08-29T10:53:30+00:00

Why do people expect men to ‘just get it’ when driving in cars does not exist in other primates? /s

In case it’s not obvious, my point is that humans are significantly more culturally complex than other primates, and much more capable of learning new behaviors.

Inabind369 · 2022-08-29T16:12:21+00:00

Cause that’s all there is too it. If you’re not getting what you want out of life make some changes.

I didn’t have my first kiss until I was almost 19 and lost my virginity at the same time. I got teased for it a bit in high school, but not seriously because people knew I had other priorities. I also wasn’t confident enough in high school to pursue girls so I didn’t. I had a quite a few opportunities to do have sex in high school, but I didn’t because I was and still am super picky being attracted to only the hottest 20 or so girls in my school of 1000.

I didn’t know how to talk to girls until I smoked weed. Idk why it helped, but I became so much more smooth with women. I think part of it was weed makes me really horny so I’d turn on the charm and it just worked. Once I opened myself up to the idea of sex fully it all came pretty naturally to me. I mean sex is natural so shouldn’t it come naturally?

The idea that if you don’t have sex as a teenager means you are developmentally stunted is bullshit. Now if a guy was a virgin at 25 and it wasn’t due to morales or some other extraneous issue making it so he can’t have sex he is definitely behind the curve. That doesn’t mean it can’t change though.

ClaraBow01 · 2022-08-30T06:23:37+00:00

I don’t think most people do. But most people should be able to understand giving people space and when someone is not interested. This stuff doesn’t just apply to sex.

Railgunner79 · 2022-09-09T06:01:29+00:00

Because they themselves don’t have to develop or “just get it”. They don’t really have to do anything because they are born with their value where as men have to develop theirs.

Title	Why do people expect men to 'just get it' when sociosexual development takes years in other primates?
Author	SuitableStart
Upvotes	340
Comments	599
Date	August 28, 2022 3:08 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wzxpm8/why_do_people_expect_men_to_just_get_it_when/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-people-expect-men-to-just-get-it-when.1131000 https://theredarchive.com/post/1131000

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