Why do a lot of you talk badly about men, even though you have a loving boyfriend/husband at the moment?

Ppdebateismental · 2021-10-19T17:50:48+00:00

Men aren’t bad. Some do bad things that are typically more common for men to do than women. Women aren’t bad. Some do bad things that are typically more common for women to do.

Most people are actually pretty decent but most people have also behaved in ways they aren’t or at least shouldn’t be proud of. Nothing wrong with pointing that out.

Novadina · 2021-10-19T17:01:12+00:00

I am in a very happy marriage, and I have many male friends I like a lot, but I’ve also had men drug me, try to rape me, stalk me, grope me, leave threatening VMs to me and my husband, steal my car, rob me, etc. Even my husband thinks men are dangerous, especially more dangerous than women.

I don’t really think women are all that either, a lot of people just suck. But men are scarier… I am able to defend myself against a single woman much easier than a single man, and I’ve never once had a woman target me because they sexually desire me, whereas I feel like I’ve had a giant target on me my whole life attracting men who want my body parts.

Slipthe · 2021-10-20T03:49:04+00:00

Because my partner isn't a man I disagree with, but there are plenty of those here.

chalkandapples · 2021-10-19T19:02:09+00:00

Men and women aren't a monolith, and people are different. Whenever people critique another group, they are often critiquing some patterns they see, not really saying that everyone in that group is like that. But sometimes it's hard to put a disclaimer up every time.

Men in my life overall are great, I don't deal with a lot of the stuff I hear in the sub or elsewhere. But there are still legitimate critiques, just like I'm sure my husband, brother, or even dad may have critiques about women as a group. It doesn't mean they're saying I'm like that. Also being close to someone doesn't mean you can't take critique from them.

SouthernGrass3 · 2021-10-19T20:05:46+00:00

I like men. I disagree with a lot of opinions (certainly not all) of a vocal minority of men with a strong presence here.

quiturbitchn · 2021-10-19T16:55:31+00:00

You can have both. Also being in a relationship doesn’t protect a woman from other men. I’ll use myself as an example. I’ve been in a happy relationship for nearly 7 years. I still get catcalled, harassed, objectified, hit on, etc. I can separate that there are good and bad men, but being with a good one does nothing to stop the bad ones from impacting my life

UglyBoyFredo · 2021-10-19T18:29:46+00:00

Same reason why you can have a good women but there are still gold digging bitches out there.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-10-19T16:58:55+00:00

I’ve been with my husband since 2013 but that doesn’t stop men from sending me dick pics or from DMing me asking me for nudes. You know who has never done that to me? Women. Now I am not saying all men are creepers but the ones that are I will feel free to call out or comment upon.

TrueStorms · 2021-10-19T18:58:33+00:00

Because my husband is so superior 🥰🥰🥰🥰

By the way, my husband also thinks men are dangerous and wants to protect me. The best men understand the risk of unknown strange men and don’t try to pretend knowing this is sexism.

Intellegent_mortal · 2021-10-19T20:59:24+00:00

Because there are more men then just their SOs. Women who have husbands still face sexual harassment and can still be assulted and can still have a general bad history with men,

the reason men don’t do this shit because men just complain about women because their single, women complain about men because they won’t leave them the fuck alone and make them feel unsafe and disrespected.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-10-19T18:44:23+00:00

Because you can have one or a few good experiences with men, yet it doesn’t negate the bad ones you’ve had. Even my boyfriend has stated that he really doesn’t like/trust men, in general. Of course he has male friends he does like. But many men are wary of men because they know what they’re capable of.

UsefulAd2538 · 2021-10-19T23:32:20+00:00

People go on here to vent. Most people on here are toxic. Most people on here are hypocritical too.

There are good people but the loudest are always going to be the trashy ones who want everyone to be/feel like how they are.

EviessVeralan · 2021-10-20T02:21:24+00:00

It probably has to do with the fact that as a woman, youre more likely to have bad experiences with men then other women. But likewise men are more likely to have bad experiences with women then other men.

GridReXX · 2021-10-19T18:11:02+00:00

I was in a relationship with a man and was still harassed, stalked, terrorized, and physically assaulted by a loony man who was romantically obsessed with me despite me not having ever interacted with him outside of a “friendly smile” when I first moved into the neighborhood.

SnooCats37 · 2021-10-19T17:35:33+00:00

There are nice guys and there are guys that have no respect for women. Being married doesn't stop those particular men from being disrespectful towards you.

Cupcakelover1985 · 2021-10-19T23:23:51+00:00

The same reason men talk badly about women despite being in relationships. Each gender has common annoying traits and behaviors and sometimes people vent about it in a generalized manner. It sucks to hear if you’re a part of the group being broad brushed but that’s life.

Melloncollie462 · 2021-10-19T18:34:44+00:00

Majority of the posts made on this sub are from RP members...they are mods here too...they're meant to shock, disgust, and demean women in general. It's only natural that women responding to the content being posted here wouldn't be impressed with men in general. So stick around or research its history...majority of posts are designed to portray women as money grubbing whores and the Discord server associated with this sub has videos of women being anally violated while their heads are dunked in a toilet or pool...some really repulsive content provided by those upstanding HVM (🙄) of The Red Pill.

IcarusKiki · 2021-10-19T20:20:42+00:00

bc we have had bad experiences with men? Men will say the same thing about other men - thats why fathers are so protective of their daughters

flamingoinghome · 2021-10-19T17:01:07+00:00

This is a fight club. You come to the fight club for fighting. I have male friends on this sub. They know I do not "think badly of all men," nor do I think badly of them. (I also don't think it's such a grave insult for me to say things like "most men can't dress for shit")

But when you come to the fight club, you fight. You do not say "I mean, I could do some fighting, maybe," while tiptoeing around the concept of a blow.

vial_of_music · 2021-10-19T18:35:18+00:00

My boyfriend is literally incredible. Seriously he is the best.

What I don’t like is being harassed in the streets or being publicly told I should be raped because I’m not interested. Like sir? We are in a grocery store.

chubbybutt22 · 2021-10-19T18:01:04+00:00

Love men. Huge fan. Love my male partner. Lots of male friends. All bright, kind, upstanding people. But on this sub… yeah, I started to doubt. It’s honestly depressing. So many men claiming all these terrible things about women. It’s hard not to be defensive.

NarniaFox · 2021-10-19T17:13:05+00:00

What do you define as "talking badly about men"?

I have a great husband and good marriage, but I can speak pretty negatively about some men. I might omit the word "some" in some cases, but I try not to.

And having a wonderful partner doesnt mean that I don't have bad experience. I got harassed, stalked, groped, followed, once a man tried to pulled me into his car. They always were men. And I haven't even started talking about my friends' experiences. Sure, I don't think that the majority of men do this things, but it does make me more cautious around men I don't know well. And my husband shares this view. In fact, I'd say he doesn't trust men even more than I do and he'd prefer me not to trust even close male friend. He deems men more dangerous and higher risks than women and he wants me to be very cautious around them.

Edit: just to give some examples. One of my female relatives got into intensive care after her fiancé beat her up to pulp and tried to throw her out of the window. Turned out he gets violent the moment he drinks alcohol and she had no idea as he was abstinent when they'd started dating. My close friend got divorced because her husband refused to treat his addition when their kid got I'll and required a very expensive treatment. He got violent afterwards, we had to interfere. I witnessed my male classmate abusing his GF when we were at high school. My mother is a lawyer and there are numerous cases of men harming/killing their partners. My friend's father just went on vacation, when his wife was getting diagnosed for cancer.

Sure, not all men are like this and I know some great guys too, but it does get you sooner or later. I try my best not to over generalize though.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-10-19T17:30:39+00:00

I am aware of how men as a group act and think about women. I was made aware of it from loving male family members, reading history, and personal experience. TRP backs these takes up everyday. I know what men want from women. I am aware of my vulnerabilities and physical limitations as a woman and what a man can do to a woman if she is caught off guard. I stay wary of men for my own safety. I do not fool myself into thinking the average man have any desire to protect women or care for them.

However, that doesn’t mean I don’t love my father, my partner, and members of my family that are male. I trust them and know I am safe with them. I am not bias against them. They feel the same way I do, that the world is dangerous. And that I need to be cautious and wary men.

Tdlr: the generalized men women talk about in a negative light are the men we need to worry about

jingks_ · 2021-10-19T22:06:10+00:00

I love my husband because he is antithetical to the trauma I’ve experienced in my past. He is the combo breaker. I am traumatized—literal PTSD—from men I’ve interacted with in my past, and I continue to see abhorrent behavior from men in almost every spectrum of my life. I am vocal about it in hopes of protecting other women who were like me. I want them to know that men like my husband do exist, and that healthy relationships are attainable.

WillfulGrapefruit · 2021-10-20T02:19:34+00:00

I have a loving husband at home and we've been together for 17 years.

I think a lot of women learn to be distrustful of men pretty early. Most women I know started experiencing sexual street harassment starting at a very young age. I think there was actually a recent Two X Chromosomes post about it. I was surprised reading that thread because so many women had similar experiences to mine...that some of the creepiest and worst sexual street harassment they've received was when they were children and always from adult men.

When it comes to being hit on, I don't know if it's how people are socialized, but women I've turned down have been universally easygoing...whereas the men tended to have been more pushy and less respectful of a "no".

All the above is anecdotal of course (grain of salt, etc etc), but you're asking why I might talk shit about men in general and bad experiences about sums it up. Yes yes, not all men, but enough men...to at least be wary.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2021-10-20T02:14:13+00:00

Not all men are bad , but the ones that have acted inappropriate to me have been men of Religious high standing , Men that are in a fatherly, or husband role , Guess has influenced my thinking in ways. Opened my eyes Mean those situations have influenced me , molded my thinking , learned the men I had in my life were not the super men society tried to say they where , just ordinary men with sin in their hearts.
I've admitted to others , if I didn't have sons I'd probably dislike men alot more , having sons helped me see . Boys grow into men and not all men are raised the same . My sons helped me see not all men are the same , helped me heal emotionally being a mother ,which helped me move on with my life .

Throwaway18077 · 2021-10-19T20:13:09+00:00

I’m a 24 year old woman who has had minimal “bad experience” with men. My father is my best friend, I’ve had loving relationships and I actually deeply struggle in my relationship with my mother. But I still really, really dislike a vast majority of the male race. Dislike probably isn’t a strong enough word.

I’m disgusted by the behavior of men and how absolutely, ridiculously misogynistic and entitled many men are. I am exhausted from taking weak men’s cruel insults after I reject them, this has been happening since I was 11. You pound your testosterone filled chests but practically start crying when I tell you I’m not interested.

In fact the reason I am so disgusted by men over anything is because by the time I was 14 I realized my power. I realized they’ll say and do anything to get into my pants and it’s fucking pathetic. Men want women to believe you’re so steady, so unemotional, so able to be in positions of power meanwhile you’re all addicted to plastic women getting raped on pornhub.com and none of you can keep it in your pants for 5 minutes when given the opportunity to fuck someone half your age. Pathetic. Show some willpower, some self respect instead of putting it in anything that will allow you to and maybe I’ll start respecting you too. Until then, have fun playing with your dicks, I’m busy making the money you don’t even have but claim women want to take from you.

LalaTheSecond · 2021-10-19T17:07:45+00:00

You can generalize men by looking at how they treated women through history/current studies/personal experience without talking about a specific person.

Educational-Bug-7985 · 2021-10-19T18:48:26+00:00

Just because most of my acquaintances are good men does not mean every single man is good. And I don’t put the bad tag on all man either, I have specific targets, namely alpha males

klauskinki · 2021-10-19T18:05:36+00:00

Collective identities are a byproduct of this sad era and something we need to try to dismantle. A man is not all men and a woman is not all women. So obviously a woman can love her man while don't like other men. There is no contradiction here. The only point that could be "problematic" is if said woman hates men as a concept, as a collective entity (for the simple fact that they're men) instead of just not liking some of them for specific and real reasons

superlurkage · 2021-10-19T20:05:11+00:00

Because my partner is neither representative of nor responsible for the behavior and attitudes of All Men^TM or even Bad Men^TM

Kumquat_conniption · 2021-10-19T21:17:00+00:00

Because I am complaining about the attitudes of men I see on this sub and reddit. Obviously we think there are exceptions.

My partner doesn't use the internet at all, thank god lmao

BikePersonDotCom · 2021-10-19T16:57:50+00:00

Because you can get into a relationship and watch the times change outside of it

CFinCanada · 2021-10-19T17:01:19+00:00

We have fathers, grandfathers, exes, and access to studies.

We understand that they are rare.

Edit: here's an example. My last relationship ended when the guy punched me in the stomach in public on New Year's Eve.

So then I go online and hear from men that I deserved it because I chose him. Even though he was nice in the beginning and I was stupid enough to split the $26 bill on our first date (RED FLAG).

Men largely have no empathy for women, most of them really are pieces of shit who just view women as a maid and a hole, and a large minority are violent. We just point it out. Dating an exception does not change the rule.

cowfishAreReal · 2021-10-19T18:31:00+00:00

Some men are trash and some aren't, my boyfriend is awesome, the guy asking me for nudes in my DMs isn't. Not to mention all the sexist talk in this sub and others. And most women don't even generalize

xQueen-Bx · 2021-10-19T17:14:41+00:00

a husband is your protection from "men" and means you never have to deal with "men" again. he is A man, MY man, he is not "men". men are women chief protectors and chielf predators, what does the group "men" mean to me but danger?

SaBahRub · 2021-10-19T17:55:08+00:00

Because he’s not the one threatening, belittling, harassing, perving, stalking, insulting, and assaulting me?

You think women are the only ones who talk negatively about men? The people who told me that men are dangerous, uncivilized and only want one thing weren’t women, ya know

goatismycopilot · 2021-10-19T17:55:21+00:00

Because all the women her are with their version of unicorn man not necessarily unicorn man for all women of the planet.

Enchanting_Smith · 2021-10-19T18:24:56+00:00

"not mine" is usually the mentality. I think people need to get a grip and realize "humans" is what we're complaining about, and everyone's just obsessed with the gender war. The miscommunication and misconceptions in the gender war keep it alive far more than the war thats actually happening anymore. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Pickled_Tink_Tea · 2021-10-19T22:06:55+00:00

Both can be true. I'm in a loving relationship with a wonderful man.

I have had many bad experiences with men, and I continue to have bad experiences with men when my partner isn't around.

Random men saying rude stuff, following me or grabbing me is a common occurrance when I'm out and about without my BF.

AtTheEnd777 · 2021-10-20T01:09:35+00:00

I have an absolutely wonderful husband. I truly love him with all my heart. That being said, my experience with most men has been truly awful. He's the excellent.

herefortheparty01 · 2021-10-19T19:01:54+00:00

Cuz men (and women for the matter) are pretty shit. A man or woman is awesome.

lostwanderer28 · 2021-10-19T21:33:29+00:00

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Cool-Experience7357 · 2021-10-19T23:28:43+00:00

The dudes I hang around complain about their wife/husband and are still happily married and have been for years-decades. Also, may want to see how they talk about the sig other; talk about their eating and driving habits; some old saying/idiom/proverb ("She wanted it, but I didn't, so now we have. . .", "Women are always talking," "happy wife = happy life"

GlitteryDonkey · 2021-10-20T00:56:17+00:00

If I complain about men, it’s specific men. Making generalizations about both sexes is not productive and seems to make both sexes look like assholes. My main complaints about my experiences with men are typically about not respecting my boundaries. Example: hitting on me, me saying I’m married which I have been for a long time, and every time I see this person after that hitting on me again in a pushy way. One guy recently, who worked with my husband, went so far after I told him no to show me nude pictures of his ex girlfriends. I am still courteous when I see him out but I’ve told him to stop trying to convince me to sleep with him. I don’t enjoy being mean to anyone. I don’t like confrontation. My friendliness gets mistaken for flirting all the time. I’m an extrovert and I enjoy meeting new people. When I talk to introverts while I can tell feel awkward when they go out, I try to make them feel as comfortable around me as possible. It’s hard to get out of your comfort zone. This goes for men and women. All people complain when they have negative experiences. I find many of the men on the sub complain about women all the time just like the women on the FDS sub complain about men. Both subs are really harsh, and the biggest complainers on them seem extremely entitled. I usually never say anything because I feel like it will fall on deaf ears. However, I’m going to say what I always think when people are trying to get in a relationship, go after the people who are going to be interested in you. Stop hitting on people that you’re pretty sure are going to reject you. Figure out what you DON’T want in a relationship. Be open to those who don’t fit your ideal partner list from a glance. So many people have surprised me once we started a conversation and I’m talking about both sexes. Trying to find female friends as an adult is just like dating but without the sex. It sucks. Off my soapbox.

If I do complain about men who I haven’t had any personal experiences with, it’s for things like saying “boys will be boys”, abusing women, sexually assaulting women. I will call out women who do those same things. Is it so hard to treat others the same way you want to be treated? Respect a person’s boundaries. If they say no, listen. Stop with the nice guy shit. Be kind instead since there are no expectations for anything when you’re kind. Being nice is not the same. Some people can tell when you’re being nice because you expect something in return.

Lastly, people need to vent. Venting helps us let go of what we’re feeling. It’s healthy. I could go on but this is already too long.

somelurkernsfw · 2021-10-19T19:47:33+00:00

95% of men could be “Good Men” (i think that’s way too high personally, but for the sake of argument.

The remaining 5% are 1 in 20 men. If those 1 in 20 exhibit negative behavior towards women regularly, think weekly, then that’s 52 times per year.

So, for every man there are 2 women having bad experiences per year from men, even though 5% of men are the real problem. Women have to deal with this reality.

If you want to help the problem, you need to find the “1 in 20” guys and make sure they understand their behavior is wrong, or actively work to undermine it (without ALSO then exhibiting negative male behavior).

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-10-19T17:29:50+00:00

Because, unfortunately, being married doesn't mean harassment stops.

DXBrigade · 2021-10-19T20:25:03+00:00

People like to complain for the sake of it, I don't take it seriously.

houstongradengineer · 2021-10-20T00:29:38+00:00

Because some men aren't my husband. Some men do really shitty things, and everybody can call that out- even me. I don't hate men, I like them. But like we can all agree that shitty behavior is shitty... right? I'll talk bad about the women I know if they do shitty things too, but I love women. Just so happens that the men on thisnsuh are often doing or saying shitty things for me to call out.

FarewellMyQueen · 2021-10-20T08:52:42+00:00

I work in child protection and I’ve processed around 3000-5000 reports. It’s not women’s violence and women’s sexual abuse of children that makes up the majority of those reports.

By the same token, I am a heterosexual woman in a loving relationship with my soulmate and I was raised my a great dad. But facts are facts.

mercinarary · 2021-10-19T22:27:05+00:00

This is rich. Users in this sub is notoriously misogynistic.

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2021-10-19T23:11:34+00:00

The best way to perpetuate a system of victim hood is to create an oppressor class and burden them with the responsibility for all evil, past, present and future. Once victimhood is established, the right to reparation is claimed, wether rightful or not.

globalholiday5090 · 2021-10-20T07:49:57+00:00

Misandry.

OwnerAndMaster · 2021-10-19T19:30:47+00:00

(Because they don't. But saying you're single while being bitter is an automatic L)

AbbreviationsHot1200 · 2021-10-19T23:50:24+00:00

Because women love to complain

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ffandyy · 2021-10-19T23:10:02+00:00

There’s a lot more men on here talking shit about women than the other way around that for sure

CFinCanada · 2021-10-19T19:50:55+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2021-10-19T16:59:10+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2021-10-19T17:24:07+00:00

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hitherecutie · 2021-10-20T10:26:01+00:00

The shitty-man behaviour continues even when women are in relationships. Men, as the hunters don't really have to put up with trying to game women anymore after being in a relationship and catching their prey, so there isn't much to complain about. Women are still chased and have to deal with shitty men.

SaltyFatNuts · 2021-10-20T11:26:35+00:00

I mean men statistically commit more violent crime than women but I think that’s because of men being taught early on to repress their emotions in reality but we also need to hold ourselves accountable for the wrong things we do I guess

Lazy-Conversation-75 · 2021-10-20T12:23:09+00:00

Maybe just maybe if you men spend a little more time shaming those men who harass, beat, rape, kill women as much you spend on shaming “simps” or beta bs, maybe ??? Idk we won’t talk bad about men?

Or instead of bitching and whining why us women aren’t friendly anymore, maybe you should sit for a minute and think of the reason??

Even you men won’t trust men 😂

But no, because of the lack of sympathy and selfishness.

wtknight · 2021-10-19T17:42:01+00:00

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MuttonDressedAsGoose · 2021-10-19T19:43:10+00:00

The normal course of events in mammal mating is the male ejaculates inside the vagina. That has been the norm for millions of years.

If you want anything otherwise, that needs to be discussed.

Saying "I'm on birth control" relieves human males from the primary worry.

ksja88 · 2021-10-20T07:16:14+00:00

We only hate LVM. Most men just happen to be LVM.

Title	Why do a lot of you talk badly about men, even though you have a loving boyfriend/husband at the moment?
Author	lostwanderer28
Upvotes	117
Comments	486
Date	October 19, 2021 4:51 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qbfm3k/why_do_a_lot_of_you_talk_badly_about_men_even/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-a-lot-of-you-talk-badly-about-men-even.1078620 https://theredarchive.com/post/1078620

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