Why is the term “partner” EVERYWHERE

BatemaninAccounting · 2023-11-08T10:18:48+00:00

I haven't seen anyone correct someone for using Wife/Husband...

Sorry but it sounds like a much of a muchness. People are broadly shifting towards using the term partner as it's gender neutral, easy to say and a lot of people feel the terms boyfriend and girlfriend are just kinda childish. With cohabitating non-married couples becoming more common, a lot of people feel silly calling the person they've been in a relationship for 10+ years and have kids with their "boyfriend" or "girlfriend", just doesn't sound all that serious?

Of course, partner isn't all that much better. I think any language used will be lacking.

RidingRedHare · 2023-11-08T10:30:58+00:00

This language usage is at least 30 years old. It became popular when people stopped marrying quickly, and started living together for several years before getting married.

bottleblank · 2023-11-08T12:32:35+00:00

It's been a normal term in the UK for as long as I can remember, I'm in my 30s too.

It might have a cultural implication where you are that I'm not aware of, but if I heard a British person say what you're saying then I'd say their take seems like the unhinged rant of someone from the "turning our frogs gay" brigade. I hate pedantic and tokenistic "wokeness" as much as the next man, but I'm not going to get offended over a term that's used to conveniently encompass any and all relationship types so I don't have to bother thinking about it too deeply. You don't even have to be talking about LGBT people/couples to use the term, it's just a super generic term for "anybody who is in any kind of romantic or sexual relationship", it's a matter of convenience and brevity.

Especially in the plural sense, like if I were to say "many people here are finding it difficult to find a partner", I just can't be bothered to write out the various forms of potential relationship status to cover all the bases. I'm not going to say "husband/wife" because that's a narrow view of what a relationship is or should be, I'm not a big believer in marriage and I have no intention of disrespecting those who don't care to subscribe to that specific way of being with somebody.

I don't even see that it diminishes or devalues the relationship of an ultra-traditional straight married couple either. Partner means and has always meant "person with whom a cooperative task is undertaken", usually with some implied element of closeness/dedication/commitment. That absolutely describes a marriage. OK, so it describes a business arrangement or a two-person school project too, but there's no reason it has to have either of those unromantic implications unless you assign that meaning to it, which most people don't. Because, contextually, that's not what it means, it's not being used as a pejorative or trivialisation, it's not trying to devalue anything, it's just a linguistic shortcut that most people will understand without thinking this deeply about it.

(Edit: Personally, if I were referring to my partner - hypothetically - I would use the traditional terms. But that's because I'd be talking about a situation that I'm in and I know the status of. But if somebody invited me to a party and said "and bring your partner!" then I'm not going to be the least bit offended. I know what they mean, they know what they mean, it's a non-issue. Means the same to me as if they'd said "bring your girlfriend".)

obviousredflag · 2023-11-08T11:51:16+00:00

I never ever grew up with this term being a thing (I’m 31)

I am 39 and i only grew up with this term being a thing. And since people aren't marrying anymore or do so at a way later stage in life than previously, the term husband really doesn't come up as much as compared to all kids of partners in all kinds of other types of relationships. People are just used to the term partner, because marriages in young people are rare. It's not about gender.

Also, at least in my case, i often forget while typing, what kind of relationship the OP and their partner have, or what gender OP is and what gender their partner, so i just use the neutral term because i am too lazy to look up the specific relationship in question.

Azweik · 2023-11-08T10:51:52+00:00

"Partner "kind of suggests, that you are in a pretty serious relationship, that's gone on for some time, and is destinied to develop further.

While boyfriend/girlfriend could mean everything between" we met 2 weeks ago" and "we are living together like a married couple for years"

Unfortunately not from the US, but here in Germany the term has been used frequently, as long as I remember, with a preference for like using the term "partner" more the older you get (or the people you talk about are) .

But then we don't have a specific word for "girlfriend/boyfriend" in our language (you might pick up on it out of context like 95% of the time, but there could be misunderstandings now and then)

Sillysheila · 2023-11-08T11:23:32+00:00

I say “partner” because it’s common to in Australia. It’s interchangeable for husband or boyfriend in my country.

I also say it a lot because some people get very angry at me and act like I’m chaining my husband’s balls when I say I’m married. It is a sore topic for some people on here so sometimes I avoid using the word husband.

Zestyclose_Truth9999 · 2023-11-08T11:27:42+00:00

and I don’t care for it.

Well, luckily for my partner and I, we don't give a shit what some random, self-important snowflake on the internet thinks. 🤣 His is the only opinion I need.

If you don't want to be offended 24/7, try butting out of other people's lives (and find some hobbies to occupy your time, if your life is genuinely that boring).

froderenfelemus · 2023-11-08T10:44:23+00:00

Because partner will be 100% correct in 100% of the scenarios rather than wife/husband, gf/bf, fiancée/fiancé. Some people don’t fit the binary titles either, so “partner” does literally no harm to anyone ever.

Such a non issue to complain about lol

YouShouldGetLaid · 2023-11-08T11:39:30+00:00

Who cares? What does this have to do with this sub lol

Waschbar-krahe · 2023-11-08T11:47:22+00:00

It's simply just not a big deal to most people. They mean the same thing

RonMexico432 · 2023-11-08T12:44:12+00:00

Always reminds me of when gay people said "roommate".

TheLonerCoder · 2023-11-08T11:25:44+00:00

It’s pretty normal in Australia. We have been using partner for years. Boyfriend/girlfriend sounds juvenile. Many Australians never marry so partner fits.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-11-08T11:23:25+00:00

It's a lot easier to just say "partner" than remember and cross-reference what gender of person everyone is with and what specific term their relationship uses. Partner is always correct so long as it's officially a relationship, but other things aren't always correct. It's like being offended you got called a person rather than a man - you can be described by both words and there's nothing wrong with using the broader one even if you would personally like to be more specific. If you don't like it, that's all right, but it is a word that describes these situations, it is a term for a romantic relationship and there's no issue with using it.

Lina-Inverse · 2023-11-08T15:43:00+00:00

I’ll be specific. I’ll see a post where someone clearly says “My husband…” and all the comments are like “your partner”

I've never seen or heard of this happening in my entire life.

partner is someone you work with. Not someone you’re romantically involved with.

You know you could just go use a dictionary:

Oxford Dictionary:

"the person that you are married to or having a sexual relationship with"

Partner is fine, i use partner, so do others. Deal with it, no one is forcing you to use it.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2023-11-08T12:24:34+00:00

I always assumed that people started saying partner rather than bf/gf because it sounded serious. But both of the couples that did that turned out to be some variation/combination of not straight.

So I don’t know anymore.

thetruthishere_ · 2023-11-08T13:31:16+00:00

Coworker is who I work with and a partner is who Im dating. My boyfriend or husband would be my partner.

Partner is not a new term at all.

Now you say husband and someone comes trying to say no hes your partner like husband is the wrong word to use, thats just weird.

Icy-Sprinkles-638 · 2023-11-08T15:03:22+00:00

Subversives working to tear down the family structure. That's really it. There's an active effort to undermine the traditional family and now they've moved on to literally trying to erase the concept from language and thus thought.

Gitsumrestmf · 2023-11-08T10:42:38+00:00

I use "partner" only when addressing both men and women, of various relationship statuses and referring their respective... partners.

Saying "bf/gf/fiance/fiancee/husband/wife" would be inconvenient.

ComfortableJeans · 2023-11-08T10:24:20+00:00

I prefer "partner", and I'm 29.

I'll preface this by saying that I understand the words are interchangeable synonyms for one another, and these are just my feelings around particular words with no factual basis behind them.

A partner is someone who has my back as I have theirs. We work together and help each other in everything we can. My partner is my other half, the person who helps me achieve more than I could have by myself. They're a perfect fit for me. They complete me. I take care of them, and in the same way, they take care of me. A partner is 50/50. No "I don't do that, I'm an X, that's a Y job." Cooking, cleaning, yard work, heavy lifting, we're in it together. A true doubling of your capabilities. If I'm lifting 100kg, they're lifting 100kg, too. (It's not a good analogy because I'm a 6'3 lifter, but I just mean to say that they're doing everything they can to help me lift heavy. And I do the same for them in everything we do.)

Now, on the other hand, when I hear Wife, I hear nagging. I hear someone who is never satisfied. Someone who is there for money and things she can have, like a house or such. I hear dead bedrooms, sex is a chore, I hear "ugh, I have to go home to the Wife again...". I hear 'someone who doesn't appreciate me, and I have to slave away taking care of.'

A ball and chain do drag behind you for the rest of your days.

I don't want that, I want a partner, not a wife.

This is most likely because growing up, I saw a LOT of marriages like that. Lots of older men going to the pub to escape their nagging Wives. Complaining about them, like they were a moaning spirit that lived in the house with them that they couldn't banish.

It's entirely anecdotal, and I most likely just got exposed to particularly bad couples growing up and in my area.

Same with media. It was ALWAYS the ungrateful, nagging wife and the moron, thoughtless husband. How much media revolves around truly loving, heartwarming spouses? I can't think of any off the top of my head. I could throw out a dozen of the opposite right now. Probably more.

It's hard to have good associations with Wife/Husband when you've only ever seen bad examples of them. Both in real life and consumed media.

That's my reasoning, anyway. But it doesn't matter. Partner, husband, and wife can all mean anything you want them to.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2023-11-08T11:20:44+00:00

I normally say it if i don't know their relationship status. Also, apparently boyfriend/girlfriend sounds patronising.

What do you dislike about the term?

Maelas84 · 2023-11-08T12:52:34+00:00

There is literally no difference. They are interchangeable..but peoples "feelings" get hurt...

I just ignore them. People getting butthurt over words and getting offended for others is ridiculous.

Bloodpukecumandtears · 2023-11-09T08:42:41+00:00

I address everyone as partner, as in "howdy partner".

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2023-11-08T13:40:08+00:00

Because I have a partner in my relationship.

badgersonice · 2023-11-08T15:05:46+00:00

I’m older than you (upper 30s) and American, and the word “partner” has been used to describe romantic and sexual relationships since I was at least a preteen (so when you were a small child). I remember very clearly being a tween and making sure to add the word “business” when I mentioned my dad’s business partner (they founded a small company together) so people wouldn’t get the wrong idea.

This is some serious language police energy. The French have a language academy to decide how words are supposed to be used… are you French and a member of the French language Academy? Because sorry, in American English common usage decided how words are used, not you.

WhatyouDontwantoHear · 2023-11-08T16:47:39+00:00

Out of all the stupid shit on this sub this is probably one of the dumbest things I've seen someone get bent out of shape over.

RelationshipSalty369 · 2023-11-08T16:55:55+00:00

I say partner because boyfriend sounds like it's for 20's and I'm 40's so...

2023-11-09T07:38:50+00:00

Im done bro😂😂😂😂

Electronic_West_1831 · 2023-11-08T10:16:16+00:00

Husband/wife is pretty old fashioned and denotes fixed gender roles/hierarchy - “partner” suggests a more equitable relationship

anna_alabama · 2023-11-08T11:47:14+00:00

I called my husband my partner before we got engaged because being 21 and saying “my boyfriend” was embarrassing and didn’t reflect the nature of our relationship. Now that we’re married I would have no issue using partner or husband interchangeably. Yes, he’s my husband, but he’s also my best friend and life partner so it holds a lot of weight. Any idiot can go out and sign a marriage license to get a husband, but finding your soulmate who is your true love and partner through thick and thin is a lot more special.

Big-Air-958 · 2023-11-08T11:51:43+00:00

I consider my honesty to be much higher than the average, so the answer that I'm writing now will be in this way, as it is almost always for me.

I used the word partner yesterday and the entrant of the entry was addressing her partner as husband, as I remembered. No one was harmed.

Because partner is a general term, and I like to think in a general way to address things in my thinking world. I think this enables me to think in a broader way, and also a more philosophical way, I guess.

If I invent an idea for myself or for others, I'm hoping that I can transfer that idea to derived concepts.

Partner is the highest level or the root concept for a specific kind of relationship, and the others are derived from it, in my view.

To my understanding, partner, spouse, boy/girl friend, significant other, or any other type of "partnership label" which I may not know, are as valid as each other.

However, I am not interested in the status of the partnership. This doesn't mean I don't care about people. In contrast, I don't have any intention to harm others in any way. So, this gives me the very message that I have a big concern for others. And when I am writing or speaking, this honesty results from not wanting to harm people.

But also I'm not a native writer. So, my writing skills may have limits, in contrast to those who are native. (Being a native speaker/writer is a debatable topic for me from right on.)

Also, when I'm writing in this language, I'm using more brain resources than a native writer, and this pushes me to think more analytically. As a consequence of this, it opens a door to generalizing things.

By the way, I'm a computer engineer major who worked in financial technology and left it for moral reasons.

Also, as a passionate reader from childhood, this affects my way of thinking, writing, and speaking.

These were the reasons I can put it together.

Note: I know there are errors in my writing but I got bored chatting with chatGPT to correct them. It's altering the meaning which is not good. I hope it was clear for those who will read it.

Possible_Turn23 · 2023-11-08T13:48:24+00:00

I think partner is better than saying boyfriend or girlfriend which has high-schoolish/immature connotations. Two 50-year-olds that live together but aren't married are not a boyfriend and girlfriend they are partners. But for husband/wife I think it's not necessary.

thefaehost · 2023-11-08T13:56:53+00:00

I’m non-binary and bisexual. That’s why I use it and that’s why my SO uses it. I have friends who are bisexual and poly. They use it when only dating one person or more than one. I’ve seen married bisexuals who say partner because despite being married to a person of the opposite sex, their identity as a bisexual is in fact not changed and they want to be able to express that despite being in what appears to be a hetero relationship

Hope that helps!

Barneysparky · 2023-11-08T14:16:58+00:00

My husband and my best couple friends are 60, they have been together for 30 years.

Please OP. What term should they use instead of partner?

ohdiddly · 2023-11-08T14:24:21+00:00

Saying ‘partner’ is extremely normal in Australia. Idk maybe you’re just not considering that it’s the norm for a lot of people on here? Not everyone lives where you live

Trouvette · 2023-11-08T14:35:37+00:00

I sometimes use partner here because I want to capture a two-way dynamic in what I am saying. I don’t want to leave the impression that something is only husband to wife or only wife to husband.

sweetestpineapple · 2023-11-08T14:47:48+00:00

I use “partner” the way people used to use “significant other,” “boyfriend or girlfriend,” etc. simply because it’s shorter and sounds better in my opinion.

Independent-Stop-692 · 2023-11-08T14:53:20+00:00

Partner isn't ab gender as others have said partner indicates a life partner not just a boyfriend etc

Cool_Relative7359 · 2023-11-08T15:16:18+00:00

Partner means more to me in a romantic sense than husband/wife (and it's not been used solely in a business sense or even primarily in quite a while) , because a partner is equal and husband and wife are based on outdated societal gender roles, as is marriage as an institution.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-11-08T15:39:27+00:00

I tend to use “partner” because we’re not married yet but have lived together for a while now, and “boyfriend” doesn’t sound quite right to describe that type of relationship. Since we’re now engaged, I will say “fiancé” too, but not everyone with a cohabiting life partner is married or engaged. “Boyfriend/girlfriend” is much less specific, as it can also apply to someone you’re just dating, and really sounds pretty juvenile.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-11-08T15:57:09+00:00

I'm also 31 and I use husband, spouse, significant other and partner to refer to my husband. If you don't like the word partner, then you don't have to use it but it's a perfectly normal way to refer to someone you're in a relationship/marriage with.

lilr2996 · 2023-11-08T16:19:16+00:00

Not married yet but I say partner instead of girlfriend because it seems to carry more weight. We have been living together for years, share financial burdens, have pets together etc.. Girlfriend as a term just doesn’t seem to capture the nature of our relationship. Having said that when we are married I’ll probably say wife.

pssnflwr · 2023-11-08T16:20:19+00:00

it’s a way to indicate that you are with someone without having to give too much information/explain the ✨nuances✨ in light conversations. it’s been very useful for me.

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2023-11-08T16:23:35+00:00

Marriage is a partnership. It’s something that takes place between two people. My husband is my partner. It’s a synonym. I’m not gonna get butthurt about it because some people use it differently.

bluestjuice · 2023-11-08T17:30:23+00:00

I would never correct someone who said “husband,” that’s excessively aggressive and weird. Let people use their own preferred titles.

But ‘partner’ is a perfectly fine term for a spouse, romantic partner, or significant other. In fact it’s better than ‘significant other,’ which always sets my teeth on edge with the weird implication that everyone else is an ‘insignificant other?’ (I know that’s not what’s meant, it’s just an odd phrasing that I don’t like.)

‘Partner’ is general and nonspecific about both the exact gender of the person in question and the exact nature of the relationship, and that’s why people like it.

BoxOfBoxedUpBoxes · 2023-11-08T19:39:10+00:00

a partner is someone you work with. Not someone you’re romantically involved with.

I mean, growing up, I remember it being hammered home ad nauseum by older generations/traditional minded folks that marriage was, first and foremost, WORK. You’re not gonna always have the same warm fuzzies you had in the beginning, you’re going to need to work together even when you two don’t “like” each other at that very moment, so on and so forth. Always focusing on the workload and struggle of marriage and never really acknowledging any “romantic” side to it.

With that in mind, is it really any surprise that “partnership” has become synonymous with marriage?

SeveralSadEvenings · 2023-11-08T19:52:20+00:00

OP is giving Abe Simpson energy.

wkndatbernardus · 2023-11-08T22:22:51+00:00

Ha, I'm right there with you OP. Hearing someone refer to his/her bf/gf or husband/wife as a partner is cringe and annoying. It's rooted in this postmodern gender ideology mind virus infecting Western society where calling something what it actually is, is frowned upon. Somehow, using language that corresponds to the truth is out of style.

AloneOnTheStrange · 2023-11-09T01:56:27+00:00

In my general observation, if she calls him her boyfriend she's in love. If she calls him her partner, she's bored and in it for the convenience. It's a term meant to minimise the intimacy.

There's a reason the term "partner" is chosen, instead of spouse, or significant other. There's a reason we didn't invent gender neutral relationship terms that includes love, intimacy, and desire.

Pyroblasts · 2023-11-09T02:07:03+00:00

The alphabet army.

SameNotice4306 · 2023-11-09T02:31:12+00:00

I can’t stand the word either. Unless I’m talking about a law firm, or business, I associate it to a community I have nothing in common with.

I’m starting to feel the same about person. He’s not some mystery entity, he’s a man and I’m a woman. I adore my boss for calling us ladies when the boys are out of office. This non descript thing creeps me out.

SteveSan82 · 2023-11-09T03:18:56+00:00

Whenever I hear someone say that, I assume they are gay

Substantial_Cut_6876 · 2023-11-09T04:10:24+00:00

That and “situationship” 🙄

NarwhalsInTheLibrary · 2023-11-09T05:55:56+00:00

a partner is someone you work with. Not someone you’re romantically involved with.

not really. there are lots of kinds of partners. Business partner, dance partner, lab partner, partner in crime, and life partner. I don't see being a life partner as being anything negative or insignificant. Just don't use the term if you don't like it. Nobody cares.

I’ll see a post where someone clearly says “My husband…” and all the comments are like “your partner”

i think this is just people not bothering to refer back to the post they're replying to, so they use the generic term. I cannot imagine that anybody is replying in disagreement, as in "no he's not your husband, he's your partner!" It's just an easier way to refer to somebody if you don't know what their "title" is.

Also, I don't know where you are but I'm in the US and I'm in my 40s. I've been hearing this usage of partner most of my life, or possibly my whole life. Originally it was usually used by gay people referring to the person who essentially was their spouse but legally they weren't married because they weren't allowed to be. But since it is a useful term that works for pretty much any type of relationship a lot of people use it now. But it's okay, you can still be a wife, and you can still call your spouse your husband. Nobody is diminishing your marriage or relationship. Weird you're offended if somebody has the gall to think he's your life partner but okay. You do you.

Aggravating-Donut269 · 2023-11-09T09:31:53+00:00

When someone says partner, I hear partner in a country twang 🤠

Peacesquad · 2023-11-08T14:56:33+00:00

I think “partner” is disrespectful to the man. He’s your man. Not your partner. Hate that word

hannahg000 · 2023-11-08T10:18:37+00:00

not everyone is straight or identifies with their gender assigned at birth. it’s more inclusive language

PM_ME_YOUR_DONGERZ · 2023-11-08T20:46:29+00:00

'war on christmas' energy

LittlePurr76 · 2023-11-09T01:09:06+00:00

In my case, partner is the most accurate word. Health insurance issues are why we aren't married (and the fear of passing on crippling debt) but we're essentially living like married people in a balanced relationship.

FineDevelopment00 · 2023-11-08T12:01:27+00:00

It makes me roll my eyes too, because it's obvious they do it for cringe wokie points.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2023-11-08T10:11:22+00:00

The further agenda for demonization of peoples close relationships, by changing a close word husband/wife for a more generic like partner you psychologically make peoples seem such relationships as less important/more expandable.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-11-08T12:56:59+00:00

its a class marker

grown_folks_talkin · 2023-11-08T16:17:18+00:00

The sterilization of language in this area is just a tiny bit sad.

Financial_Chemist286 · 2023-11-08T16:32:00+00:00

Man and wife.

AnnoKano · 2023-11-08T21:08:10+00:00

The term is popular because it's simply much more practical.

Someone might have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but they are not necessarily their 'partner' unless the relationship is serious. I've been with my current girlfriend for several years, technically speaking we're engaged, and functionally we are pretty much married... but for the sake of convenience i just call her my 'partner', especially when I don't want to get into the specifics because of privacy or my own convenience. All you need to know is that we have a committed relationship, and calling her my partner makes that clear.

Willow-girl · 2023-11-08T21:28:01+00:00

Lot of us unmarried couples prefer "partner" because "boyfriend " and "girlfriend" makes it sound like we're in 7th grade ...

basedmama21 · 2023-11-08T22:11:55+00:00

We’re equals, so we’re partners. Neither of us like the infantile phrasing of “boyfriend/girlfriend,” and we don’t like the phrasing of “husband/wife” because of the sexist connotations those words have to both of them.

Also, we’re both bi, and it’s been our habit to refer to our partners as partners for decades now.

pikecat · 2023-11-08T22:29:30+00:00

I'm with you. I have a wife, not a partner. Wife implies a much stronger connection than partner. Partner is someone who is much easier to split up with, which is not something I want. I believe in commitment.

Also, these new terms lose a lot of information because they're so bland and meaningless. It becomes a bland and meaningless culture full of people without heart and passion. We lose subtlety and nuance and complexity from life as you simplify language to rid it of what people are trying to do.

The language you use affects how you think. Not in obvious ways, but in subtle ways.

There's also other biases that remove the richness from life. I've lived in a few very different countries and I've become very aware of culture and ideas.

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-11-08T23:14:13+00:00

Also why is partner even an acceptable term instead of just saying boyfriend/girlfriend; husband/wife?

Why would it be unacceptable for anyone to use the term partner?

No-Rough-7390 · 2023-11-09T11:27:53+00:00

Wife/husband is a much more meaningful designation. People are just dense about it.

blmzd · 2023-11-09T13:42:18+00:00

I honestly just like how it sounds better. When I was with my ex I referred to him as both my partner and my boyfriend. It just sounds better to me.

Spare-Estimate5596 · 2023-11-08T19:28:49+00:00

It is to escalate the man even further. He isn’t your “partner” he is your HUSBAND

2023-11-08T13:19:06+00:00

Because no one is willing to marry these days. The men are crazy and the women are crazier.

gntlbastard · 2023-11-08T14:15:03+00:00

Because partner puts the right context on this - a business partner.

jay10033 · 2023-11-08T14:40:15+00:00

Because they recognize it's all about money, so why not extend the business partnership into their own relationships.

IneffablyEffed · 2023-11-08T15:34:26+00:00

Advice online is horrendously gender-biased whenever relationships are involved.

If you want even a hope of receiving sympathetic advice, anonymize your sex or pretend you're a woman.

Apocalypstik · 2023-11-08T21:26:24+00:00

My partner is in his 40's--he isn't a 'boy' anymore.

2023-11-08T22:18:46+00:00

I grew up with it and I'm also 31. It's not just about being gender neutral, it's about being equals.

A partner is someone who shares equal responsibilities and respect. Just like if you were partners in an art project, or something you're both doing for some other mutual passion.

TheCounsellingGamer · 2023-11-08T22:19:29+00:00

I call my partner partner because we're not married, but we've also been together a long time. Personally I consider boyfriend/girlfriend to be a term for when you haven't been with someone that long. I also use significant other and other half.

Ultimately though who cares what label people put on their relationship. They could call themselves mutually affection chickens, it would be a bit weird but it's not hurting anyone.

TenaciousVillain · 2023-11-08T22:40:22+00:00

I agree. I am not a fan of the policing of other people's language (barring hate). However, that goes both ways. If people want to say partner, let them. At the same time, don't tell me how to refer to my husband/boyfriend. I'm of the belief that you treat each person how they want to be treated versus trying to dictate broad-sweeping rules for the masses. Just because one person likes or prefers something doesn't mean another will or has to.

Same debate comes up for "cis" - people need to realize that you can't control other people. Live and let live.

Safinated · 2023-11-08T23:22:22+00:00

Because calling people children is childish

arcadiangenesis · 2023-11-09T06:16:51+00:00

I'm a 35 year old straight man, and I call my wife my partner because I like how it sounds. I'm not "trying to sound" a certain way. I just like that term personally.

If I reflect more deeply on it, here's why I like it. First, I dislike the terms "boyfriend/girlfriend." It just sounds lame. "Partner" is easier and shorter to say, and it sounds more mature. I don't dislike the terms "husband/wife," but they do sound a bit old-fashioned to me. I like how a "partner" could be someone who is or isn't married, because that doesn't really matter anyway. I always viewed my wife as my partner to the same degree before we were married and after. So I like how "partner" is a term that doesn't make that distinction.

If it helps you understand, think of it as a shorthand for "life partner" (as opposed to a business partner). It's basically the equivalent of a "soul mate."

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444oo · 2023-11-08T14:30:18+00:00

“Partner” is the politically correct term nowadays because is genderless. Most LGBT couples I know use the word “partner” especially in professional settings or when talking to strangers. Why are heterosexual couples using the word “partner” now, and specifically, why are they correcting others for not using it?? The answer is that I really don’t know but I guess it has something to do with political correctness.

JustMoreSadGirlShit · 2023-11-08T14:33:53+00:00

I was in a relationship for 9 years. If I called him my bf people didn’t really take it seriously. Calling him my husband would be a lie since I’ve never intended to get married. Partner felt good/right bc most of the time that’s what we were. I’ve only seen partner used at like law firms, which I’ve definitely never worked at so I don’t really see the word partner and think ‘work’.

Ohmaygahh · 2023-11-08T15:27:40+00:00

I notice the term used by a black British guy, it appeared he had a gentle personality so I assumed his partner to be another man. My brain had a bit of a pause when his partner was a gorgeous woman.

I remember back in business law 101 that introducing someone as your partner was a higher level stake of association and it meant something. I felt that was a reason why lawyers were quick to correct someone introducing them as a "good friend" or "trusted partner" or something else more leading.

Business law 101 really made me think of the fact that words matter.

child0light · 2023-11-08T15:31:07+00:00

I know this post was triggered by an instance where an OP used husband and then a commenter downgraded and used partner, but the heated emotional response you have toward why people use it is misplaced I think. It's just an all-encapsulating word, and that's all. But I'm with ya, I tend to mimic however the OP refers to their significant other.

SupposedlySapiens · 2023-11-08T15:35:15+00:00

Bf/gf sounds kind of silly to me as an adult, so my last gf and I started using partner instead. It’s a good general term as it works for bf/gf or husband/wife, while also covering any other non-traditional type of relationships. I think in a lot of cases it’s just the most accurate too. For me at least, I want my partner to really be my partner in life, so I like the term.

throwaway164_3 · 2023-11-08T16:02:49+00:00

It’s part of a movement to try and erase the reality of innate sex differences between men and women by using gender-neutral words.

OrangeBootyShorts · 2023-11-08T16:26:25+00:00

Meh. I'm 36, and using "boyfriend" sounds a bit immature. It's a term I've used since Jr. high, so I'm kinda over it.

Partners seem to define our living together, loving relationship much better than "boyfriend".

If that upsets people, not sure what to say, seems like a lot of time on their hands to be upset with how strangers define their romantic relationships.

wtknight · 2023-11-08T16:32:29+00:00

Partner is used because not everyone gets married, and it seems strange to continue to call someone whom one has been with for many years a girlfriend or boyfriend.

concretecannonball · 2023-11-08T16:35:52+00:00

It’s not new. I’m a year younger than you and my dad and his gf of fifteen years called each other partners, his coworkers and friends called their partners that … it’s common and normal thing to even back then if you’re in a mature longterm relationship but weren’t married, regardless of gender.

Why does it bother you so much?

ThisBoringLife · 2023-11-08T16:38:42+00:00

Eh, it's not much an issue.

It is a "safe" catchall term.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-11-08T16:43:08+00:00

I’m 10 years older and have heard this growing up.

Some people past early 20s don’t like the term boyfriend girlfriend as they feel it’s juvenile.

It’s not a term that’s used just to be gender neutral though it does of course work for that.

In comments I think a lot of people use it if they can’t remember details of the ops post

Possible_Turn23 · 2023-11-08T16:49:31+00:00

Maybe they’re cowboys

jxjkskkk · 2023-11-08T17:36:44+00:00

There’s nothing heinously wrong with it, but I do find it kinda cringe when straight people referring to other straight people say this. If you’re ever even slightly unsure of anyone you should use partner. But it just sounds so sterilized and PC when straight people say it. Like Jesus Christ why are you so scared to offend someone, just call it what it is. It reeks of ‘wokeness.’

To me this is like replacing ‘my job’ with ‘the method that I use to make money’ in a sentence.

ATasteofTx214 · 2023-11-08T17:43:20+00:00

I avoid assuming the gender and/or marital status of strangers. Its easier to apply the same terminology "partner" to everyone to avoid confusion

emorizoti · 2023-11-09T06:10:48+00:00

I'd say a partner is someone you share your life with. Romantically and through problems. Someone you spend time almost daily and see a future together. Like a teammate.

Salty-Chef-4814 · 2023-11-14T14:02:55+00:00

I understand you OP. The term patner is strategically used to depict an egalitarian relationship where both "partners" have equal powers in a relationship.

Title	Why is the term “partner” EVERYWHERE
Author	basedmama21
Upvotes	53
Comments	278
Date	November 8, 2023 9:58 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17qid15/why_is_the_term_partner_everywhere/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-is-the-term-partner-everywhere.1237692 https://theredarchive.com/post/1237692

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