Women do a piss poor job of showing that they even like average men.

It exists within the cultural subtext of the demonization of approach (warm and cold). It exists in how they talk about men. We are oppressors, limiters of freedom, sources of threat but never objects of desire.

Compared to that gay men are incredible at showing desire. They have a plethora of terminology where they describe the various archetypes they find attractive - Hunk, bear, otter, twink etc. They by their description of each other demonstrate there is someone out there who loves their body as they are.Someone who will see them both as partners and as sexual beings

Women by contrast seem mildly repulsed my men. They will put up with our sexuality for a relationship and maybe for provider abilities, emotional support and social validation(less important as the years go by with the normalisation of being the cool wine aunt) , but never truly desire intimacy from us. That is reserved for the upper echelons of men who bring about a sexual reaction in them. This is the basis of AFBB. The fear of the lack of genuine desire

I think the biggest thing that unsuccessful men lack is hope. Hope that all that struggle all the rejection will end with finding someone who can appreciate and even love us for who we are.

Being rejected all your life without any kind of respite except that which is self imposed leads to nihilism. A belief that this will not change.

there are never gonna be a vocal minority of women who declare their love for small to average dicks, for short men, for submissive behavior. They wont even be nuetral about economic success. The will profess their love for height above 6ft, and big dicks. The average man will find that he is not desireable becasue he has no representation n what men find desirable. ( Lets compare that with say small titted women, there is an entire subreddit where men profess their love for small tits, and lets be real, small tits are nice and perky.)

In this situation being sceptical of any signals of interest (especially after you are 30 and established in a career) is completely reasonable and to be expected. Women do a terrible job of reassuring men here too. (Many men can attest to asking their wives what they love about them and the wife responding with the things he does as opposed to his looks, which is nice I guess but further entrenches the hueristic of women being with men and tolerating sexuality for reasons other than amore)

Believe me, If I could suck a dick without feeling dysphoria over it, I would switch teams in a heart beat, not because men make it so ease but because women make it easier to not engage with them.