A man shouldn't have a problem waiting for sex ladies, if he does, it's definitely a red flag.

Saitama1993 · 2021-11-26T06:56:12+00:00

Totally agree sir. She also has the right to have sexual intercourse with other 3-4 fine lads in the meantime, while you wait to take her to the altar. You know why? Because she is worth it ! Doesn't matter if her lady bits are beings smashed by some mongrels, in the end you win cause you put a ring on her, provided for her and were such a nice guy. She will be forever grateful, even after divorce, which is your fault by the way. Thank you for opening our eyes sir u/ogsimpology

Reverse2First · 2021-11-26T09:25:11+00:00

“2-3 months to wait for sex” this mofo has to be trolling !

AbbreviationsHot1200 · 2021-11-25T21:52:54+00:00

The problem with a man waiting to have sex with a woman is if she isn't

tryingmybestatm · 2021-11-26T09:34:52+00:00

guys dont want to wait these days becoz they find out 2 of these things:

a) the woman was fucking an fwb or someone else while he was waiting

b) the woman slept with other guys on the first date while u had to wait( he usually finds this out later)

the problem is inconsistent women, we dont want to find out how you slept with a friend of a friend on the 2nd 3rd date while i had to wait for months or you were seeing ur fwb while we were dating without getting sexual. if u make every guy wait the same time, as in you vet every guy regardless of looks/ status/ money/ drunkenness the same way then we are absolutely ok with waiting.

ghostinthepost · 2021-11-25T21:40:39+00:00

I'm always confused what people mean when they say make a man wait for sex. Like what level of intimacy is allowed during the waiting period? I don't think I'd have an issue waiting 2-3 months for sex if we're making out, cuddling, sleeping in the same bed, maybe some hand or oral stuff.

But if we're keeping 6 feet apart for 2-3 months than I don't see why any guy would stick around for that long because it would seem like the person you're with doesn't like you very much.

SladeWilsonXL9 · 2021-11-26T01:23:42+00:00

Ogsimpology, this is definitely a troll account. 🤣🤣

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-11-26T03:52:19+00:00

If she isn't ready to have sex with you then move on. Plenty of women out there, remember guys there is no such thing as a golden pussy.

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-11-25T23:18:14+00:00

Okay Derrick Jaxn.

Plenty of guys don't have a problem "waiting" a reasonable amount of time, Just not going to wait for a girl they think is a hoe, or think she was a hoe. And they aren't going to wait if they think it's a power play (FDS shit).

Consider the space. A ton of these guys do not have any interest in marriage, so that's going to skew the perspective. If you aren't interested in marriage, by what logic would you expect to wait for sex?

Some guys are going to be religious, and some not. There is no reason for a secular man to wait for sex if he has options. Generally speaking, the way I hear them speak irl, women think their pussy is the holy grail of sexual achievement, no matter how basic the sex is. So the question ladies honestly have to ask is "am I worth the wait?" For a simp, the answer will always be yes.

Jakes1967 · 2021-11-25T22:21:32+00:00

A man shouldn't have a problem waiting for sex ladies, if he does, it's definitely a red flag.

Horseshit

I say this as a man.

Congratulations

I personally waited for my now wife, for about 2-3 months to have sex with her. She wasn't ready and I was respectful of her boundaries. It ended up as the most loving relationship I was ever a part of.

We didn't wait and were at it like rabbits on date number 2. This didn't let up until our children arrived 5 years later, for that time we couldn't keep our hands off each other.

Keep in mind that if a woman wants to wait for sex, it can definitely be because she's worried you'd move on quickly after sex. So her wanting you to invest into her, is completely understandable.

Fair, but if she's had casual relationships, where she didn't wait to have sex, then she's selling a "free gift" and any man who buys it, is a fool.

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-11-25T22:57:42+00:00

My wife did the same (made me wait 3 months) but years later we had a dead bedroom and I can't shake this thought that I should have seen her making me wait as a red flag.

Let's be honest, it's not really the start of a passionate, sexual relationship when a woman says she wants to delay having sex with you because she's unsure if you are a player and she'll fall for you.

The guy isn't a player, so why do it?

The actual logic is because they did it with other guys, and while the sex was good the relationship was bad, so you then have a marked increase of falling into the "sex is bad, relationship is good" camp.

omegaatlas · 2021-11-26T02:57:31+00:00

I’ve said before and I’ll say it again if a woman gets pumped and dumped it’s because she’s not good enough not because men don’t care about relationships. Men have a higher sex drives so don’t mind fucking down but still want a relationship with a woman of a class. Making a guy wait doesn’t guarantee a relationship in facts it makes him more likely to dump you because you made him jump through hoops.

purplish_possum · 2021-11-25T23:25:38+00:00

I'm not about to wait. If a women's into it great. If not I'll just move on.

Why would I stick around on the off chance a woman will decide someday to have sex with me?

buffin-big-bowls · 2021-11-25T21:35:01+00:00

Depends. Waiting 2-3 months if she’s genuinely not ready for it yet is understandable. But guys should know their worth to not get played like a kazoo

Ou-tis · 2021-11-26T07:38:40+00:00

Is she virgin? If she had a lot of sex before you and she make you wait it means you are not hot or a catch for her.

Chaddamhusein · 2021-11-26T05:16:42+00:00

I hope she sees this bro

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2021-11-26T03:46:38+00:00

Men aren't monolithic. There isn't and shouldn't be a standard regarding sex for men. If you are okay with waiting for sex, then good for you but other men have different beliefs regarding sexuality.

AbsolutelyNobody0 · 2021-11-26T08:41:05+00:00

If a woman wanted to wait until marriage to have sex and a man dating her broke things off because he is unwilling to wait that long, would you still say it is a red flag with that man?

Is he now excluded from being a genuinely good person that wants a stable long term relationship?

ToughAnswers · 2021-11-25T21:58:47+00:00

Keep in mind that if a woman wants to wait for sex, it can definitely be because she's worried you'd move on quickly after sex. So her wanting you to invest into her, is completely understandable.

You mean like the previous men, who she had sex with quicy. I mean sure you go ahead and martyr yourself whose stopping you 🤣 even advise women that guys who won't wait is a red flag, anyone should have whatever preference they want and are comfortable with, BUT if you're a guy, I don't see why you wouldn't just fuck any of the ample available alternative women who won't demand waiting/fuck them while "waiting" for the other girl

KJ1017 · 2021-11-26T01:01:22+00:00

Eh. Nobody who has the libido I have is waiting months. If their libido is nowhere close to mine we are incompatible, and mine is insane.

I’ll wait three dates as a formality, but I’ve found people who wait months are gamifying the dating process, or not into sex enough for us to be compatible.

wtknight · 2021-11-26T01:18:59+00:00

Keep in mind that if a woman wants to wait for sex, it can definitely be because she's worried you'd move on quickly after sex. So her wanting you to invest into her, is completely understandable.

Completely understandable but not acceptable. If she’s been having sex with other guys quickly then why shouldn’t another guy expect the same treatment if this is what he wants? If he’s not getting that treatment, then why wouldn’t he want to choose another woman who is willing to have sex with him sooner? I don’t see how it’s a red flag for a man to want to be treated the same way that a woman treated other men whom she was attracted to.

Beginning_Proof_2160 · 2021-11-25T21:51:01+00:00

Also a lot of women will trick guys into waiting for sex while smashing other dudes, i literally had a girl once say I'm dating a guy, and I asked her why are you sleeping with me then, and she replied because she doesn't want to seem easy for him, An eye opener experience there, and Yes i DM that guy after couple of days and said to him she's not worth it bro

PopularBug5 · 2021-11-26T01:27:49+00:00

Nope, I also say this as a man.

So what if a man waits for him to have sex with you? He can always have sex with other ladies in the meantime. You think he has no access to OLD? What makes you think if you swiped right on him so quickly based on looks the other ladies wouldn't as well? What makes you think that like you the other girls who fancied him also don't feel like going for a quick hookup?

You need a much better vetting metric than waiting or not waiting for sex to qualify a man.

LotBuilder · 2021-11-25T22:06:47+00:00

As long as you are cool with him casually dating others then that is fine.

ChiBron86 · 2021-11-26T02:13:28+00:00

If a women is truly into you, then she's not waiting PERIOD

Men should start playing this retarded game too. If a woman's withholding sex in the name of oh-I-just-wanna-make-sure-you-are-truly-into-me, these men should also cease to pay for all dates in name of oh-i-just-wanna-make-sure-you-aren't-just-using-me-for-my-money. Let's see how long she withholds sex after that.

JameisBong · 2021-11-25T23:56:46+00:00

It's confirmation you are not as exciting as you think you are. Most women have had one time stands with men they could barely remember, you are the one guy who was submissive enough to wait while beating your dick.

Expect to be in a dead bedroom sometime in the future, your wife loves you sure, but deep down she knows you are too much of a nice guy.

shrickertt · 2021-11-26T08:00:40+00:00

heavily disagreed. there are people who want to engage in relationships who also don't want to wait for sex. simply saying that someone who doesn't want to wait doesn't want to be with someone doesn't add up. beyond that, if the last guy didn't have any restrictions placed on him regarding sex, then you shouldn't have any either.

mate, just say you're the free meal guy and move on.

VulcanSummers602 · 2021-11-26T10:24:53+00:00

The thing is a lot of guys have this issue. She'll sing your praises, tell you how awesome you are, you take her to dinner, pay $200+ for the date to that place she raves about, takes two bites, then asks for a no-go plate. You drop her off at home and no kiss, no hug, no handshake, just an "ok thanks", and she runs off. Then the next morning she's on social media bragging about how she got laid.

She's making you wait and making you jump through hoops for sex and then feeding HIM with food you paid for! And I'm supposed to be happy to wait?

FimTown · 2021-11-26T10:46:00+00:00

My wife and I waited to get married to bang. We decided that together because religion. We were CONSTANTLY pushing that boundary - heavy make out sessions, some oral and I'm not gonna lie, some "just the tip" moments. This was mutual and if I'm honest, it wasn't me pushing her head down to my junk during that engagement. We've been married a long time now, fuck like rabbits and have a pretty great life.

The waiting is about desire, or the lack thereof. That desire was a constant, burning affair for us. So ya, it can work. I can totally see how it could be a problem though. We're both good looking so maybe it's as it always is: rules one and two apply to this.

ndkdodpsldldbsss · 2021-11-26T11:32:42+00:00

I don’t have a problem waiting. But I will keep looking elsewhere during the embargo.

midwesternMD · 2021-11-26T04:55:41+00:00

Hard disagree. I don’t think it’s a red flag.

She’s free to make a guy wait because she thinks he has to “invest” in her. I’m free to move on because I’m not going to engage with someone who will weaponize sex like that.

One of the critical (though certainly not only) factors in compatibility is sexual compatibility. I’m not going to waste my time/energy on someone only to learn that our libidos are totally mismatched, doesn’t enjoy xyz that I enjoy, etc. Sure, you can try to discuss sex topics to gauge that compatibility, but the litmus test happens in the bedroom. Much the same way as you can try to discuss living preferences, but the proof is on how you actually cohabitate.

So in my opinion, it’s not a red flag to not want to wait. But it may very well be a sign that the two people are incompatible. But blanket red flag? Fuck no. That’s absurd.

LUCKYMAZE · 2021-11-26T01:52:48+00:00

Women don't make you "wait for sex" if she finds you attractive, max she's gonna make you wait is 3-4 dates. Let's be realistic. Would you make a girl wait for sex? If you knew she wanted it? No, you wouldn't... the same for women. Unless they want to use you they're not going to make you wait

ComplexProjection · 2021-11-25T22:53:07+00:00

And while you were waiting, she was getting railed by chad, trying to secure him without success.

pink-summer-sky · 2021-11-25T21:46:05+00:00

but you're simply restraining from sex because you want it to be a meaningful and serious relationship in the future

This makes it seem more calculated than it is. Some women genuinely need to get to know their partners before feeling comfortable with sex.

Standard-Logic · 2021-11-26T01:03:07+00:00

Stupid, trite moralistic garbage.

As if most women have personalities that are worth having to put up with for some meaningless sex. How about this. A man shouldn't have problem waiting for sex with a genuinely great woman.

Problem is most women, even the utter trash on this subreddit, believe they are a genuinely great women.

NoMarriageNoKids · 2021-11-25T21:50:58+00:00

My only issue with this is she was likely with 20 other guys who didn't have to wait. So, because she sees long term potential (providence) it's time to play chaste.

2021-11-25T22:42:45+00:00

Nah brah. I've had a few women declare they weren't ready to have sex but were interested in them and I honestly felt like they were just going to end up dragging me along and wasting my time. Then there were some times where I felt like my pride was wounded. Either or dating ends. And I was definitely not just after the boots, I don't actually have casual sex so when I make my move, we aren't talking first dates. I actually date women to get to know them not countdown to sex.

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2021-11-26T00:23:44+00:00

Q4OP: what did you do during this “waiting period”?

Fuck other chicks while you waited?
Beat off to porn?
Endure Blue Balls

1 is really the only acceptable scenario imo.

2 is bare minimum

3, I would question your T levels tbh.

IMO, there’s nothing wrong with “waiting” as long as things are escalating and sexual attraction is crystal clear all along.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-11-25T23:05:33+00:00

Keep in mind that if a woman wants to wait for sex, it can definitely be because she's worried you'd move on quickly after sex.

It CAN be, but these days it can also be that you're getting played like a sucker

If he takes it as you not being interested in him, even though you're making it clear you are, it means he was just trying to get laid.

Actions > her words, it also just means that he may not want to waste his time and that he has options and doesn't feel like getting strong along for 3 months

Any guy I know that is genuinely a good person, and wants a stable, long term relationship, waited for his girl to be ready.

🤣🤣, well if we're going down the route of personal anecdotes there's numerous examples of long-term relationships I can point out where the sex was on the first night or in the first week or so, including my own marriage🤷‍♂️

And don't get it twisted yeah a guy maybe just trying to fuck but if a girl makes you wait the way this guy is saying, there is a good chance that you could also be getting used for your resources and time, and possibly your status depending on what you do , don't get caught out here slipping

Men view women as sex objects, women view men as SUCCESS objects, don't think you're immune from getting played

I always tell you guys on here if a girl is a virgin or if she has a body count of like one or two both in the confines of a relationship, THEN maybe you can look at waiting as a more serious option, but if she's lived a little, had some casual relationships, fuck buddies, maybe even some one-night stands , and she tries to pull this simp "Steve Harvey told me to wait 90 days" method, if you're a guy with his shit together and has options don't deal with the bullshit like this, on to the next one because more than likely it is NOT going to be worth it , I say this from experience, even though we've all gotten a little older and Jaded by modern dating and things of that nature, there is nothing like being with a woman who genuinely desires you and lusts for you

Happy Thanksgiving guys, more stuffing less simping

Perseus_the_Bold · 2021-11-26T00:26:08+00:00

The math here is so easy even a MGTOW Monk who doesn't date can do it!

If a man actually loves you then the compulsion for sex takes a back seat to his bigger priority which is you.

When a man cares he will not have sex as his priority. But a warning: DO NOT shit test him on this! The second a man detects any whiff of manipulation, mind games, or bullshit he will walk and he will be pissed.

So how does the sex happen? Easy, he will not pressure you into it. He will seduce you into it. When a man loves you he wants you to get aroused and ask for it, to get you in the mood and to want it.

ClownNamedBel · 2021-11-26T07:06:01+00:00

So what your telling us is your wife played you☠️

poppy_blu · 2021-11-25T22:40:24+00:00

I hear you OP but remember who your primary audience is here. Desperate men who rarely ever get a shot at having sex with a woman. The longer she waits the more desperate and mad he’s going to get because she might ghost him before he can sleep with her.

This is one reason I might have waited a bit if I liked a guy. Not because I was afraid he would dump me after. Because it weeds out the desperate ones with no other options.

Tldr; nothing signals pathetic to woman more than a man begging for sex and/or getting mad when he doesn’t get it. I literally can’t think of anything that dries my panties faster.

LackOf_Empathy · 2021-11-25T23:53:47+00:00

So what I'm getting from this is that although she's not meeting my needs I should still be meeting hers. That is ridiculous, if I'm ready for sex and she is not I'm just gonna move on to someone else, I'm not gonna wait for her to have intimacy with me.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-11-26T03:32:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

fantasticfantasy69 · 2021-11-26T08:35:38+00:00

I just popped in here to see what kind of fuckery was going to be discussed given the subject matter and I have not been disappointed gents! 😂Not for nothing but OP’s user name is u/ogsimpology, so this point of view isn’t out of character apparently...

Luciansleep · 2021-11-25T23:04:08+00:00

Look some guys probably prefer a woman that’ll have sex quicker or doesn’t see it as something special. There is nothing wrong with wanting sex early.

NexusNeb · 2021-11-26T00:25:50+00:00

Pick me

AreJewOkay · 2021-11-26T02:48:30+00:00

I say this as a man.

All men are different. Sex can be very important to a relationship to the point where bad sex can be a dealbreaker. Why invest 3 months into someone only to find that you are incompatible sexually and have to break it off anyway? Not all men are trying to pump n dump women. A sexual person may want to see how compatible they are with their partner before committing to that long term. This is not nefarious or an indication of a “bad” man. It’s ok to have preferences and a preference can be a partner who is good at sex.

Women will do this as well and will ghost men if their dick is small or their stroke game is weak. Is that wrong? Maybe she wants a man she is more sexually compatible with.

Different strokes for different folks. It all depends on how important sex is to you in a relationship.

TrueStorms · 2021-11-26T03:50:42+00:00

Question: did you hook up with other women in the interim?

Lameador · 2021-11-26T05:09:39+00:00

Who are those sex ladies a man should wait for ? Escorts ?

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-11-26T06:09:22+00:00

Lol, I have never waited more than 3 dates for sex. And once I got tired of it, I started making it clear to women that I am not the type to wait for it, I'm not the type to be their boyfriend, take them out and take care of them. I'm there for one thing only, then I never had to wait beyond one date.

SteveSan82 · 2021-11-26T06:51:28+00:00

How old was she when you met her?

ithinkoutloudtoo · 2021-11-26T07:27:34+00:00

She will make you wait if she sees you as marriage material.

M4sterDis4ster · 2021-11-26T13:17:48+00:00

If she made all men wait for sex, then no problem.

If you are the only one waiting for sex, then longterm she is digging a huge hole to fall in.

jasonology09 · 2021-11-26T13:21:34+00:00

Gtfoh with that. I have no issue with waiting several dates for a woman to have sex, but 2-3 months?! That's absurd! One of the main reasons to date someone is because you both are sexually attracted to each other, to purposefully deny yourselves of the very reason your seeing other in the first place makes no sense whatsoever. That's like going to restaurant, and seeing how long you can look and smell at the food w/o eating it.

RPslimjim · 2021-11-26T21:18:57+00:00

If you had other viable options, you would either wait for here while still having sex with the other women/ plates, or you’d soft next and forget about her all together.

Women who know other women want you will gladly have sex with you on the second or third date. Every time I’ve waited more than three dates to have sex with a woman I’m pursuing, the sex has been less than stellar.

Some of the best/ longest casual relationships I’ve had with women, we had sex on the first or second date.

Men, if you are better than the average man (this includes salary, appearance, social status, network, and dating history) you do not have to wait longer than 3 dates or a month for sex.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2021-11-26T21:54:57+00:00

This is ridiculous.

It's not a red flag to refuse to wait past like 2 or 3 dates for sex.

Let's analyze your formulation of this canard, because it was a good one:

Keep in mind that if a woman wants to wait for sex, it can definitely be because she's worried you'd move on quickly after sex. So her wanting you to invest into her, is completely understandable.

So, the solution to a woman believing a man would move on quickly after he's had sex with her is for her to utilize her sexuality and negotiate a transaction for it. You said it yourself --- she demands investment for sex.

The entire relationship, when negotiated in this way, frames sex as something she gives in exchange for enough [investment] tokens from you.

That means sex likely will be utilized as a bargaining chip in the relationship --- past behavior predicts future behavior.

Sex is not something she gives in exchange for investment from the man. Sex is something she gives to the man in return for the man giving her sex. Only if sex is given in exchange for sex, can a genuine connection beyond that form. Otherwise, the man is incentivized to engage in deception to get sex.

Why isn't the solution for the woman to cultivate other virtues that she can offer besides sex?

I personally waited for my now wife, for about 2-3 months to have sex with her. She wasn't ready and I was respectful of her boundaries.

Have you ever considered that exceptions prove the rule? It's true that in certain situations, there are valid reasons to wait for sex that are unrelated to underlying fundamental problems regarding mutual attraction, healthy relationship frames, etc. But those aren't the norm.

If he takes it as you not being interested in him, even though you're making it clear you are, it means he was just trying to get laid.

Yes, that situation is definitely not the norm. >80% of women who engage in this 'waiting for sex quid pro quo for investment' game do so while also fully expecting the man to fully pursue, initiate, and escalate without much in the way of return effort.

Because 80% of the time, it means just that --- she isn't that interested.

Vet properly, and allow for good men to shine, while fuckboys run away.

This is also simply incorrect on inspection.

Any man --- good or bad --- who is attractive will have sexual options. Fact of life.

A woman who is attracted to a man but decides to pull a 'investment more and more' act will see only these results:

(1) Good attractive man has sexual options and just explores those rather than jump through hoops.

(2) Bad attractive man just enjoys conquests and knows this is just a waiting game and will say all the right things to get what he wants, whether it's date 3 or 10, and then -poof-

(3) Unattractive/less attractive man has no other options so will gladly play along with this.

As you can see, the only men that she is screening in with this approach are either bad men or less attractive ones.

That's not saying exceptions and outliers don't occur. Let's assume you're a (1) guy and she did this. Awesome, it worked out. And it worked out despite this approach, not because of it.

So no, it isn't a red flag, there's good reason to take the viewpoint opposite yours.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-11-27T00:34:04+00:00

Did you wait 2-3 months for every gal you fucked? Or just your wife?

And do you consider "all those other women" lowly sluts compared to your virtuous wife?

And when did you go from being a fuckboy to a "good man"? When you met your wife?

I mean, you're on a pretty high horse here. So we need to ask a few questions to make sure you're not just virtue signaling, white-knighting, and kissing up to women.

You know what makes me a real man? Not anything you think. That's what.

Stoic_WillToPower · 2021-11-25T21:50:00+00:00

If you like sex why would you wait? It is just a shit test.

LiftSushiDallas · 2021-11-25T23:08:16+00:00

I don't want a man who is willing to wait months for sex because that's lame to me.

DeliciousPussyNectar · 2021-11-25T22:40:58+00:00

This is some super beta energy

M_LaSalle · 2021-11-26T04:03:41+00:00

If you as a woman are looking for a genuine relationship, make it clear to the guy that you like him (if you do), but you're simply restraining from sex because you want it to be a meaningful and serious relationship in the future.

So the deal is that the guy has to court her and spend time on her, with no sex, and no promise of a meaningful relationship except maybe some time in the future. There's a word for guys who take that deal. Sucker.

I'm not paranoid that she's having sex with Chad. The issue is that she's not having sex with me, and in meantime I have to spend money and time that I can never get back. No way. I do not do celibate boyfriend. For anyone. Ever.

Even the most obnoxious of Red Pill assholes don't expect the woman the show up at the door when he arrives wearing a see through whatever and to show him to the bedroom. Of course he's going to wait for sex. But for how long?

I'm happy that you're happy with the wait of 2-3 months. (Was it two months or three? If the story is true I'd expect the guy to remember, but that is neither here nor there. Then again I can't remember breakfast this morning, but that too is irrelevant)

Telling guys to wait for sex is basically, as far as I'm concerned, meaningless virtue signaling unless you put a time limit on the wait. If you say wait for sex three months, then my answer is not just no but hell no and I suspect I have a lot of company. I won't wait past three dates. Every man has a time limit, and a man who doesn't is probably too much of a pussy to get much in the way of sex anyway. Women aren't notably attracted to men lacking in self respect.

Fentonious8 · 2021-11-26T11:02:47+00:00

If a girl told me she liked me but she's just waiting so that it can be special, I would assume she's banging another dude on the side and it's just using me for whatever

upalse · 2021-11-26T03:19:45+00:00

A woman shouldn't have a problem with man hooking around while she makes him wait, if she does, it's definitely a red flag.

xcheshirecatxx · 2021-11-26T00:10:33+00:00

I'm a woman and i don't wait for sex. No one who has the libido I need if they want to wait. I also don't know if anyone is worth waiting without checking if sex is good

Not waiting for someone isn't being a bad person. It's finding incompatibility. It's having different values.

Or at least, don't expect that person to not have sex with others. No one owes you abstinence

luliloo · 2021-11-26T00:25:08+00:00

Whoever has the upper hand gets their way.

If the guy thinks the girl is a catch, he’ll have to play by her rules or leave.

If the girl thinks the guy is a catch, she’ll have to play by his rules or he’ll leave.

CommanderBobcat · 2021-11-26T22:05:41+00:00

It's ok for a woman to want a guy to wait for sex, but guys make no mistake it means that she doesn't find you that viscerally attractive. If she did she wouldn't make you wait for sex. Whether you're ok with that is up to you.

MaliaXOXO · 2021-11-27T10:24:51+00:00

All my experiences with men are no waiting and taking what they want when they want. I stopped dating men and I haven't been raped it's actually a real eye opener.

Jamless_universe · 2021-11-26T02:37:38+00:00

If he doesn't want to wait,drop him and find the next suitor.

Do not go out of your comfort zone to please someone who will probably ghost you later.

Women have lots of options.Especially young women in their 20's are the most sought out group in the dating scene .If you are a woman in this age group,you won't lack in options.

Miserable_Yam4778 · 2021-11-26T00:06:57+00:00

As a woman who's never engaged in casual sex, this isn't precisely how I see it, not that I disagree.

To preface- I have nothing against the casual sex other people engage in, no judgements or anything, I just find the idea gross for myself. That being said I think about it strictly in terms of compatability. A man who gets angry or upset that I won't fuck him on HIS time frame is not necessarily a bad person, merely someone I'm incompatible with.

Interestingly, women who behave as I do often get to see the male version of princess syndrome. "I'm special, I'm different, I'm not like all those other guys," while they fail to realize that the rules are about YOU and YOUR feelings, and not about trying to deprive them of something they behave very entitled towards.

If a man assumes I'm some sort of secret slut who's only depriving him, I'm not offended, but I do see that behavior as a red flag and indicative of a view of the world that's incompatible with mine.

ubuntuuuuu · 2021-11-25T22:57:08+00:00

I agree.

Nobody should have a problem with that, this includes women.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-11-26T13:50:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SteveSan82 · 2021-11-27T06:42:03+00:00

Women that make you wait for sex are NOT waiting to have sex with other men. That’s the point.

SlinkyCyberSleuth · 2021-11-26T07:16:20+00:00

Your view seems pretty ignorant, tbh. It is not "definitely a red flag" just because one partner or the other wants to have sex early on instead of waiting 3 months, regardless of their sex.

It can be a red flag, but it can just as easily be someone trying to check off a compatibility item on their list, the same way you do when you ask questions about whether or not you want kids, your religious views, what kind of career you want/have, or where you see yourself in a few years etc. etc.

For some people, having sexual compatibility is one of their top priorities, and for others it's not; It doesn't automatically mean that they're a sleaze looking for a quick fuck and duck.

It's equally as valid as any other compatibility check is when it comes to saving time and determining your next move as far as pursuing a relationship goes. You wouldn't want to date someone for 3 months only to find out that their plan for the future is to be a trophy wife/husband without a career, expecting you to provide everything but your plan is a low-pay passion career - that's 3 months wasted when if they'd told you in the first couple of weeks it would have saved you both time, money, and possibly emotional investment.

IcarusKiki · 2021-11-26T07:33:05+00:00

IDK I think purposefully making a man wait for sex as an on purpose shit test is a bad way to begin a relationship. Not saying every woman should screw on the first date but it should be when you feel like it rather than a deliberate hoop to jump through. A lot of relationships start after sleeping together on the first date lmao (not saying do this). Plus a lot of guys will be put off by waiting a whole 3 months to do anything sexual.

But I agree if you are specifically looking for a relationship and get easily attached by sex you should wait instead of having sex just to lure a guy in. Or if you have a history of being pumped and dumped. Still though you have to still show physical interest and attraction somewhat or the guy will get fed up.

greenjoe10 · 2021-11-26T12:37:31+00:00

I was dating around when I met my now girlfriend. I waited for her, and when she wanted to be more exclusive, I was willing to do the same.

Now i'm about to put a ring on her, so I'd say it worked pretty well.

I think its a double edged sword though, sex too early can build a terrible foundation, but finding out you are sexually incompatible later can seem like a waste of time.

I disagree that sleeping together early is a red flag though, I just disagree with the sentiment found here that a woman who wants to wait is a red flag.

mostafa1022 · 2021-11-26T13:02:37+00:00

"Waited" for 3 months?

Aldabruzzo · 2021-11-26T14:06:45+00:00

How old are you?

How old is your wife?

When did you get married? Are you still married?

What was your premarital income ? What is your income now?

What was her premarital income? What is it now?

Have the two of you ever lived in the United States?

And now, the biggie: How many different women did you have sex with before you got married? How many different men did she have sex before she married you?

What you are describing works only under very certain circumstances, and I would suspect that you fit within those very narrow circumstances. What you are suggesting does not work for most people.

John_Oakman · 2021-11-26T15:30:36+00:00

Not all waiting is the same, there's a world of difference between the males who wait due to religious repression, being asexual, wasting their self control, or being a cuck.

Flat_Plane_V8 · 2021-11-26T18:58:35+00:00

A woman should not have a problem waiting for commitment guys, if she does, it's definitely a red flag

megalodorid · 2021-11-26T19:49:04+00:00

This must be something specific about people on the states because it just blows my mind that anyone, guy or gal, would wait for three f*cking years to have sex with their partner. Not gonna judge, but it sounds so so weird. I mean, I get waiting a pair of months to see if the other person is really taking it seriously. I wholeheartedly agree that you should respect your girl and wait until she is ready. But waiting until you get married? Like, what if it turns out the sex is terrible? What if you really don't have any chemistry in bed? Sex is an important part of most romantic relationships, I cannot fathom why would anyone rely on blind faith and just get married to someone whith whom they have never had sex. Seems like a good recipe to end up in an unhappy marriage if luck doesn't favor you.

Mark_Freed · 2021-11-26T22:44:18+00:00

Any guy I know that is genuinely a good person, and wants a stable, long term relationship, waited for his girl to be ready.

If she's not ready in a reasonable amount of time then that alone is a deal-breaker, regardless of her reasons.

HobbitShaker88 · 2021-11-29T16:36:21+00:00

I agree but alot of men dont share your attitude

Pola_Lita · 2021-11-25T23:52:02+00:00

One of the biggest gaps between men and women is the fallacy about libido. That women just barely have it while a man's is nearly overwhelming and plays havoc with mind and body if it's left unsatisfied for too long.

Nope. It's a lie and a major disservice to everyone involved.

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shelbyatemyfood · 2021-11-25T23:15:43+00:00

i agree with respecting the other partner and not pushing them into sex when they don’t feel comfortable or ready to have sex because again to people sex is a very intimate thing and want to do it with someone they trust because your seeing them in a vulnerable state. Now when it comes to saying that if the other partner doesn’t wait they are automatically a asshole i don’t think they are for not wanting to wait and of course it makes sense to be upset with them for not wanting to wait but you have to respect their wishes and move on and find someone else but if they end up being rude about it and disrespect you for wanting to wait then yeah that makes them an asshole and shows they aren’t the one.

ffandyy · 2021-11-25T23:20:45+00:00

Totally depends on what you’re looking for, as long as you’re honest about wanting a casual relationship it’s perfectly fine, if you are looking for something long term there’s no reason why you can’t wait

leetcodelyfer · 2021-11-26T00:58:27+00:00

from what i've read this isnt true

i've seen data that signals early sex doesn't have much significance on the likelyhood of marriage and actually decreased the chance of it being rated fulfilling by both parties (although i think the data of that latter point was not too much of a difference i dont remember)

champagneandcode · 2021-11-26T02:11:13+00:00

It blows my mind that many people commenting think women who want to wait are prudes in bed or sexually blah. There is no direct correlation between waiting a month or two to see if you vibe with the dude and being a starfish plank of wood in bed. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

If I were a man and a girl I liked said "Hey I really enjoy your company and I'm enjoying how you make me feel, but I'd like to take things slow on the physical front. Not because I'm not interested, but because I want something long-term with someone and would like to get to know you a little better" I'd respect her for saying that.

And IDK about you, but 9 times out of 10 when you're dating someone and have kissed you can absolutely tell if you'll be likely to be sexually compatible. You just know it. It isn't rocket science. Besides, there's something really pleasurable about connecting with someone, knowing there's chemistry and prolonging sleeping together because when you do share that it is even better having waited a little.

Title	A man shouldn't have a problem waiting for sex ladies, if he does, it's definitely a red flag.
Author	ogsimpology
Upvotes	114
Comments	965
Date	November 25, 2021 9:30 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/r26zaj/a_man_shouldnt_have_a_problem_waiting_for_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/a-man-shouldnt-have-a-problem-waiting-for-sex.1086553 https://theredarchive.com/post/1086553

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