Women will reject or lose interest in a guy for the most frivolous reasons, and then completely rule him out no matter what he does to redeem himself

Bay-AreaGuy · 2024-01-31T16:36:43+00:00

As others have noted, such women were probably not into a guy in the first place.

Attraction cannot be negotiated. While this may sound harsh, if anything this truth should make men feel less bad about dating setbacks.

Dating is not some fair or rational meritocracy, and getting rejected doesn’t necessarily mean you did anything “wrong.” I know I’ve said this before, but the sooner you abandon the just-world fallacy when it comes to dating, the less bitter you’ll feel.

flextov · 2024-01-31T17:44:54+00:00

I would just be glad that she ejected herself from my life. Save me the hassle.

Sir_Spectacular · 2024-01-31T16:21:54+00:00

Girls who unironically use the words, "The Ick" give me the Ick.

My counter to your argument is that this is a good thing. The sort of girls who are shallow and judgy enough to dump a guy over some arbitrary superficial flaw are not the sort of quality partners most guys would be happy dating. They're just outing themselves, showing you their true colors.

SupposedlySapiens · 2024-01-31T17:16:40+00:00

If a woman ghosts you because you texted “too fast/slow” or said something weird, that’s a sign she ain’t the one. Why would I ever want to be with someone that I had to walk on eggshells around? I don’t overthink texting and I say weird shit all the time. If that filters out a bunch of women, that’s a good thing.

darkwindhowls · 2024-01-31T20:36:52+00:00

It's more complicated than "they were never really into you."

I've had women who exhibited high interest go cold when I've called them out on bullshit behavior.

And yes, there are two rules:

If she decides she doesn't like you before you fuck...it's over buh bye.

If you fuck at least once but less than 4 or 5 times and she decides she doesn't like you...it's over buh bye.

Opening_Tell9388 · 2024-01-31T16:17:25+00:00

I'm a man and I get the ick from some actions from women too.

I think it is just a natural way of not being attracted to someone that has just been memed by the internet.

MaulScarreign · 2024-01-31T21:10:17+00:00

there are a couple of videos on youtube where they have a guy and girl sit at a table to talk and when they lose interest, they press a big red button in the middle of the table. well, the girls there pressed the red button so many times and for the dumbest things, not only did they have to delay the time they could press the button so the guys had a chance to speak, they actually had to recycle the guys so they could even have a chance. one guy sat down and the girl immediately pressed the button. another guy sat down, she asked for him to tell her about himself, he said he was an army vet and she immediately pressed the red button. they asked why and she said, "lmao idk! army guys are just weird"

they're ridiculous. women have SO MANY options they have the luxury of being picky. the current dating culture, which is mostly online, features women getting HUNDREDS of messages a day from so many guys, they will pass you over for the most trivial things imaginable. it's ruining dating.

Makuta_Servaela · 2024-01-31T16:46:08+00:00

It's never only one thing. That one thing wasn't the only thing, it was the final thing, the straw that broke the camel's back.

Pathosgrim · 2024-01-31T18:04:45+00:00

You don't want to be with a person who can get rid of you on a whim/drop of a hat. Also, to the people that say attraction can't be negotiated may as well admit that attraction to a person can't develop over time.

Feisty-Saturn · 2024-01-31T16:14:57+00:00

This occurs only if a woman was never fully interested in the guy in the first place.

Neptune-Jnr · 2024-01-31T18:52:04+00:00

Welp, women have that luxury. It's best not to dwell on that or try to win them back.

Mobrowncheeks · 2024-01-31T16:21:30+00:00

It’s very unmasculine to be trying to redeem yourself to a woman who doesn’t want you lmao .

SoRoodSoNasty · 2024-01-31T17:54:46+00:00

Men and women are both subjected to the “ick” - men are mad because they think if they wine and dine you and pay for it, you should push past a feeling of disgust. Disgust isn’t like a red flag, disgust literally makes you feel like crawling out of your skin. Trust me brah, you don’t want to end up with someone who feels this way about you.

DreaminInChocolate · 2024-01-31T16:18:49+00:00

The infamous “ick” can be triggered by the most innocuous or insignificant things such as texting back too fast/slow, saying ONE minor thing they thought was “weird” or that they didn’t understand, and oftentimes nothing at all.

She's not turned on by your behavior. That's a not frivolous or minor if you want a romantic or sexual relationship.

pessimisticwoman · 2024-01-31T16:19:31+00:00

The “ick” is mostly a meme. Men just don’t understand female humour. I find it baffling how so many men seem to love “dark humour” but take simplistic jokes straight to heart. Very sensitive demographic.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2024-01-31T18:20:56+00:00

This is a product of two things - women’s abundance of options, no matter how mediocre they are

Because men want women more than women want men.

and their general lack of interest in or indifference to men relative to the inverse.

Because men want women more than women want men.

Congratulations. You've just discovered that people for whom sex is high-risk, low-reward act differently than people for whom sex is low-risk, high-reward. Here's a 🍪

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2024-01-31T18:26:25+00:00

If something mundane makes one lose interest, they weren’t very interested to begin with. We see women put up with serious red flags all the time. If she starts ignoring you just because you text back to slow, you were not interesting to her enough to begin with.

thatguywhosadick · 2024-01-31T19:54:32+00:00

OP can you specify how you differentiate an “Ick”, from a “turn off”, or “red flag” those terms all get thrown around a lot and different people define them differently.

MistyMaisel · 2024-01-31T16:59:13+00:00

Can you give us clear and well stated examples of what these frivolous reasons were?

SeveralAcorns · 2024-01-31T16:41:54+00:00

What do you want? This is not a debate but a rant with no point.

MyLastBestChance · 2024-01-31T18:23:31+00:00

Women reject men when the “bad” outweighs the “good”. If all it takes to do that is one tiny frivolous “bad” thing, there wasn’t enough good to start with 🤷‍♀️.

It’s not that complicated.

AceOfSpadesGymBro5 · 2024-01-31T17:01:17+00:00

Usually the reason for a woman to lose attraction to a man has to do with her realizing that he is not as high status as she thought he was. This could be something like someone (including her) disrespects him and he doesn't do anything about it; he does something that is perceived as low status/childlike, such as collecting action figures, Pokémon cards, watching kids cartoons, etc.; or he simply gets too needy and shows her that he needs her more than she needs him.

These all fall into the category of the men thinking of himself as lower status than the woman or behaving in a way which is associated with a low status male.

Safinated · 2024-01-31T16:16:26+00:00

I thought it was their unreasonable, inflated standards?

Or their delusion about their attractiveness?

Or their desire for abusive, toxic men ?

Or their hivemind regarding male attractiveness?

Or the libido disparity?

The root cause of male frustration sure has many changing faces

-mithra- · 2024-01-31T18:46:06+00:00

Idk man I’m a guy and I get icks from women.

You’re looking for logic in romantic attraction and you won’t find it. Attraction is a gestalt thing, not a list of pros and cons. Features that attract you to someone might repulse you in a different context.

I agree in that I wish people would just accept this instead of ginning up excuses that don’t make sense. People just made up the whole “guys don’t wash their ass” thing, that’s just not something that’s ever been a problem.

Cat_Lover259 · 2024-01-31T19:56:55+00:00

Anyone can reject anyone for any reason 🤗

rejected-again · 2024-01-31T21:09:02+00:00

True, you can have some food stuck in your teeth, and that's enough for her to suddenly lose interest. Women are very fickle.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2024-01-31T16:28:38+00:00

It’s clear men want women more than women want men; which is why I don’t understand why men have such unrealistic preferences and expectations for women. It’s like someone going to a car dealer wanting to buy a new muscle car for a dollar and then getting mad when the dealer won’t sell them the car for a dollar. You will either pay fair market value or you will go home empty-handed. So have all the expectations and preferences that you want just be realistic that you might not get anything at all if you aren’t offering a fair deal.

No-Information7038 · 2024-01-31T18:00:45+00:00

slazengerx · 2024-01-31T19:59:02+00:00

Good. Who cares. Move on.

long_joint_Silver · 2024-01-31T20:23:03+00:00

100% correct

Special-Possession44 · 2024-01-31T22:01:40+00:00

women know they can easily upgrade from their bfs/husbands at the push of a button, why would they care? Women know that 100%% of men they desire will say yes to them. If you knew 100% of women would say yes to you, would you still settle for your frumpy gf? of course not.

businessJedi · 2024-02-01T09:10:25+00:00

If a women loses interest in you for one tiny screwup, she was never that into you to begin with. Women give lots of leeway to guys they are really into.

dishonouronmycow · 2024-01-31T16:26:12+00:00

If someone really likes you, icks become quirks and you like them despite that

Cactus2711 · 2024-01-31T20:22:13+00:00

It's a toxic cocktail of entitlement, abundance, zero self awareness. Luckily, the trash takes itself out most of the time. These women get to 34 and wonder why the men they're attracted to don't want them anymore and they've exhausted all their options.

UglyDude1987 · 2024-01-31T20:25:47+00:00

Those are really just excuses for when a girl wasn't into the guy in the first place.

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-01-31T16:27:20+00:00

I got it when I settled for a dude.

That's why you shouldn't settle.

Element_Girl · 2024-01-31T18:02:37+00:00

I could argue the same thing about men, but I won't, because this post is stupid and misogynistic

leosandlattes · 2024-01-31T16:31:26+00:00

The ick just means she didnt’t like you or wasn’t attracted to you enough LOL. It’s not that deep. And don’t try to redeem yourself. Attraction can’t be negotiated.

Sad_and_grossed_out · 2024-01-31T17:04:18+00:00

Hmmm I thought men liked to have variety, you know, "spreading their seed". Should you not be stoked that you're not tied down by this one women who got the ick and you are now free go seek more variety?

KratosGodOfLove · 2024-01-31T17:14:35+00:00

Some people here have pointed out that when a woman loses interest, it's never over a frivolous reason but it's the accumulation of several reasons or the lack of the interest.

With that being said, it still doesn't dispel the idea that women are losing interest over frivolous reasons - it just means women are rejecting men over many frivolous reasons instead of one. Women reject men at a much higher frequency and are quicker to lose interest. People who are trying to explain away OP's post are trying to put the blame on men by saying it's all these little things that he did that annoyed her as if women don't make as many faux pas and mistakes. In turn, this leads them to uphold the idea of female supremacy.

I used to have female friends that would complain about their boyfriends. An overwhelming majority of the time, I hear them explain and cry and I thought to myself what these women are complaining about is BS. It's over something really small and often it's a non-issue. Also, a lot of the time, it's not even intentional by the man. Men just tend to be more forgiving and overlook some things but instead of that being recognized as a virtue, us as a society have given in to a lot of nonsense complaints from women.

chillywilly3142 · 2024-01-31T17:23:54+00:00

It’s the burden of male performance

It’s social media and dating apps giving women the illusion of being spoiled for choice

And women having low empathy for men they aren’t genetically related to (closely….I mean we are all distant cousins)

Combine that with some folks thinking women are always correct in thoughts and feelings

And you have what you have

I broke up with a girl once because she saw me she’d one tear after being touched by something a family member did…turned into an instant cold bitch and started flirting with other men in front of me

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-01-31T18:54:02+00:00

"ONE minor thing they thought was "weird"..."

A mask only has to drop for a moment, dude.

spanglesandbambi · 2024-01-31T16:55:49+00:00

Damn females having free choice.

Royal-Consequence-51 · 2024-01-31T16:34:28+00:00

🧢

MBTHVSK · 2024-01-31T21:00:10+00:00

This is the part of the male brain only stimulated by things like video games. The urge to throw away cards/decks/warriors/objects in a game and gather new, better things to play with is literally what runs through a woman's heart when interested in a man.

They are attracted to you the way you are attracted to disposable things.

Particular_Trade6308 · 2024-01-31T21:00:58+00:00

It's not frivolous, she just wasn't that attractive to him. He was in a precarious position so a minor ick or one annoying habit put him into the no-go zone.

Most women wouldn't dump Chris Hemsworth because he texted back too fast or slow.

YearnsToDestroySun · 2024-01-31T18:29:55+00:00

Women's awkward view of reality gives me the "ick" mega core. Always the hivemind and victim mentality it boils down to..."ick".

It's so bizarre how many women I see that complain about bad dates from the internet and how they act like such a victim when nothing bad actually happened. Ick memes just feed into that for many.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-01-31T18:11:44+00:00

The “ick” feeling is definitely real, it’s like a feeling of immediate disgust.

A lot of the videos that float around social media about women’s ick is mostly for shits & giggle and they’re exaggerated.

It’s usually the very attractive women or women who are in high demand who have the frivolous icks tho. Men want attractive women and attractive women come with these problems. Either accept it or go for someone who is more down to earth.

apresonly · 2024-01-31T19:11:47+00:00

when men do it its called "post nut clarity"

but somehow this is gendered

AdSpecialist3990 · 2024-01-31T16:22:52+00:00

Women get icks with guys they settle for. Chad's icks are attractive quirks

TheFutureIsNow1990 · 2024-01-31T20:57:28+00:00

You'll never know why a particular woman stopped responding early in a relationship. Maybe she went traveling around the world. Maybe she got back with her ex. Maybe she was chatting with six people, chose one over you, then stopped using the app because that person was working out. These things are normal, and should be expected. Expecting to get the girl every time is unrealistic and self-absorbed.

When a guy does write himself out of her story early, most likely he showed in multiple ways that he had misrepresented his value initially. He pretended to be cool and aloof, making her feel like she'd be dating up, then showed a neediness that revealed that he actually believed *he'd* be dating up. Ick!

Instead of this silliness, focus on giving the girl a fun time rather than winning a transaction. Chill out, talk to multiple people at the same time, don't get target-fixated, avoid a transactional approach, and definitely avoid solipsistic navel-gazing and hand-wringing when complete stranger does a perfectly normal thing.

"Be grateful for whoever comes / because each has been sent / as a guide from beyond."

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-01-31T21:16:34+00:00

Men do this too. Jerry seinfelds exist in real life too.

daylightxx · 2024-01-31T21:35:59+00:00

Yep! And guys do it all the time too. They don’t have a word for it tho

GhostofAugustWest · 2024-01-31T18:25:04+00:00

People are allowed to dump you for any reason at all. Or no reason at all. Grow a pair and deal with it.

daddysgotanew · 2024-01-31T19:51:24+00:00

Not if you’re actually attractive.

But for regular men she’s trying to force herself to like after coming down off the Chad high….absolutely.

Sadsad0088 · 2024-01-31T19:59:36+00:00

Yes, and?

Care to discuss with my vagina and my brain about what turns me on or off?

ClassroomSlight3215 · 2024-02-01T00:22:33+00:00

I think hoe math explains it better. It usually relates to something feminine he did.

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Hoopy223 · 2024-01-31T17:09:30+00:00

I understand that it’s frustrating when they’ll reject you for silly reasons and then run off with a POS but that’s just life. The sooner you accept women for who they are (and men for who they are) & put yourself first it becomes much easier.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2024-01-31T18:35:26+00:00

I agree with the part that "the ick" is about someone having an abundance of options. I believe two groups tend to get the ick - most women and very attractive men. They both can afford to be very selective, so they often are.

Citadelnib · 2024-01-31T18:43:30+00:00

Who cares? What is a woman’s approval worth?

wtknight · 2024-01-31T19:19:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Thatshygurl · 2024-01-31T20:01:16+00:00

As a woman(and I cannot speak on behalf of other women) but this is true when I don’t have any attachment for a man yet. Especially during the talking phase. I’m not sure why it is, I think cuz I currently have a lot of apathy towards dating.

I will say once of gone on at least one date with a man I’m more likely to give grace and give a guy a chance, and won’t make up my mind until after 3 dates.

That’s just me though

CasseroleTruck · 2024-01-31T20:15:33+00:00

"The ick" is just one of the newer cringe ways increasingly soft people exercise (heh, but not physically ofc) their entitlement to the highest standards and in not wanting to feel uncomfortable or offended in the slightest ways. "Eww, ________ gives me the ick" while sipping on their iced coffee living in the best time to be a human ever in a postmodern country.

No-Lynx657 · 2024-01-31T22:11:03+00:00

Is it the ick or the realisation they dont like someone

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2024-01-31T23:53:19+00:00

It's kinda funny I was talking to a girl for a bit and we were hitting it off. She said she was really into watching sports and I said I"ve never looked into it because I never had the time but loved playing sports. She decided that was her dealbreaker because apparently during football season she spends 12-14 hours a day watching sports and sports related stuff. Weird but this is why you always keep a roster until you're exclusive.

captainhowdy82 · 2024-02-01T00:00:56+00:00

Wild generalization about 50% of the population without any supporting evidence. Classic red pill.

Kore624 · 2024-02-01T02:58:15+00:00

Men continue to brag about how much they don't understand what "ick" actually means 💀

NiceTrybutIdc · 2024-02-01T04:26:29+00:00

Incorrect

SnooCupcakes9990 · 2024-02-01T06:28:46+00:00

Then they complain that their is no good man or all of their exes are narcissist and abusive.

Please spare us the lies...

lvoncreek · 2024-02-01T06:33:58+00:00

Its a joke ffs why do people take everything so seriously

florinzel · 2024-02-01T09:32:02+00:00

Stop with the hating. You want them but at the same time you call them mediocre? What does that make you, lusting after mediocre women?

unconstab00 · 2024-02-01T10:44:26+00:00

We are different, let's accept it and stop complaining

conspicuoussgtsnuffy · 2024-02-01T12:21:57+00:00

They have to be attracted to the guy in the first place.
After the honeymoon phase wears off, she still needs to find him attractive.

AuraCore-main · 2024-02-01T16:55:45+00:00

Yeah we should cancel the ick

Smergmerg432 · 2024-02-01T20:47:30+00:00

Guys do this too. And then they won’t even pretend to be friendly. Just instantaneous cut. Can be very detrimental for work.

BeneficialTop5136 · 2024-02-02T04:45:51+00:00

Women have been that way for a long time, I hate to break it to you.

The-Cherry-On-Top-xx · 2024-02-03T01:58:07+00:00

Lol try being a woman befriending other women. It's so frustrating when average looking women do it.

Title	Women will reject or lose interest in a guy for the most frivolous reasons, and then completely rule him out no matter what he does to redeem himself
Author	The-Loop
Upvotes	109
Comments	382
Date	January 31, 2024 4:10 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1afle91/women_will_reject_or_lose_interest_in_a_guy_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-will-reject-or-lose-interest-in-a-guy-for.1244274 https://theredarchive.com/post/1244274

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