What are some dating hills that you will die on?

87AudreyHorne · 2022-04-22T21:20:55+00:00

Sex is not the one and only difference between being friends and being romantically involved.

That said an individual is absolutely entitled to see sex as an essential part of their personal romantic relationships.

cloudydays84 · 2022-04-22T22:30:08+00:00

There's a difference between work and effort, when dating someone feels like work you should probably end the relationship

AloneOnTheStrange · 2022-04-22T23:06:17+00:00

The Brad Pitt Test: If she flakes on a date, strings you along, or does anything that makes you question if she is or isn't into you. You ask the question "Would she do the same if you were Brad Pitt?"

If the answer is no, she's not interested enough to make it worth the time, and you move on.

WolfBroder · 2022-04-23T11:37:36+00:00

Attractiveness is objective even if attraction is not

Trying to pretend that tastes are so wildly different and wide spread across the spectrum that anyone could end up with anyone is done to obfuscate the truths about dating and society

People might have specific tastes they go in for, and great: you can get a partner for discount pricing!

But if 99.999999% of people agree that Brad Pitt is more attractive than Mr. Bean, then what’s real difference does that 0.000001% make to the discussion. It’s just a false pretext to pretend like attractiveness isn’t objectively quantifiable

abqkat · 2022-04-22T21:35:27+00:00

I won't date women who are broke, low income, or have massive debt of any kind except for a mortgage.

hearyoume14 · 2022-04-23T01:01:15+00:00

Most people in the dating pool either aren’t worth dating at the moment or are afraid to give up some control/ trust others.

Both sexes are blinded to those they don’t have any attraction to or who otherwise aren’t more outgoing.

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-04-22T21:19:41+00:00

women care about looks

First impressions count. Doesn’t matter if you’re 6’8, and jacked. If you’re dressed, and stink like a hobo; it matters.

Conversely you can be the most loyal, loving, and caring woman in a relationship. If however, you’re weighing in at 220; you’re going to struggle.

Everyone benefits from prioritising their physical health, and grooming.

Godspeed and good luck!

tomatosauce23 · 2022-04-22T21:05:49+00:00

Attraction is NOT symmetrical

A1Dilettante · 2022-04-22T21:06:31+00:00

Waiting around for a man to ask you out is a waste of time especially if you like him. If you want that man go get your man.

briiiana1122 · 2022-04-22T21:01:53+00:00

If you whine about “having to put up with” someone you absolutely deserve to continue putting up with what they give you. Leave the relationship if you don’t want to be in it and the other party (and you!) don’t want to work on it.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-04-22T22:35:08+00:00

Laser tag is an amazing first date.

2022-04-23T13:50:52+00:00

For men, every date is an interview for a potential life partner, not a brothel. Every answer matters, even if it's a joke. Attitude matters, especially about family. Courtesy and manners matter. Date a bitch, you'll marry a bitch and then you'll divorce a bitch.

Ask the awkward questions. Ask for details. Demand honesty and respect. No one can make you lower your standards, except you. You can get up and leave at any time.

Leave sex until you're serious about BONDING. If it's just a fling, cut it off quickly and move on. Her feelings are NOT a good reason to make bad decisions. It's not JUST about her, men deserve happiness, too.

Just my opinion. Cheers.

The_LSD_Fairy · 2022-04-22T21:20:17+00:00

People are not a commodity and treating dating like shopping in a market is a path to complete failure.

baresquad · 2022-04-22T21:31:46+00:00

That dating is full of some of the most helpless deluded entitled cry babies

Nowadays it’s all about people want. Never about what they’re willing to work on to give because they’re so deathly afraid of imaginary hypotheticals

People are setting rules and ultimatums for imaginary relationships with people that they haven’t even gotten to the 1st date with

It’s really insane to watch from the outside looking in because nearly everybody seems so miserable and unhappy

I been at this shit since I was a teenager so literally nothing phases me anymore, I’ve been happily single for 4 years and my dating life is what I’ve always wanted to be and my story isn’t nearly over

To me, that’s success. Everybody in dating wants success, the thing is, the shit doesn’t fall out of the sky, I’ve been working at it again since I was a teenager that means tons and tons of failed relationships, dry spells, curves, arguments, you name it, dating is fucking hell and the fact that people think you can just immediately achieve what you want to be is literal insanity to me

All that to say, everybody is dating for the most part is causing their own unhappiness 😭

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-04-22T21:59:05+00:00

If you think a relationship is going to fix your fucked-up life, you will always be disappointed.

misunderstood_9gager · 2022-04-22T21:20:44+00:00

No dog. I refuse to date a woman owning a dog. Not because I hate dogs, but because I don't have time to help with the dog.

Also, I don't hate dog owners. I just absolutely refuse to date one.

Severe-Pirate · 2022-04-22T21:54:22+00:00

Looks will always matter more than personality

decoy88 · 2022-04-22T21:44:58+00:00

I wouldn't be with someone that has double standards for their own behavior and expects better from others.

JustdisappointedT_T · 2022-04-23T23:53:42+00:00

Don’t expect a traditional partner when you can’t or don’t uphold traditional values.

JameisBong · 2022-04-23T01:01:38+00:00

You don't need money to date, she either likes you enough to overlook your deficiencies or she doesn't and expects compensation for it.

SpiritualEnema · 2022-04-22T21:14:35+00:00

Talking about how abusive your ex is, is a giant red flag…..for you!

Edit: In the context of a first date.

Atreiyu · 2022-04-23T09:18:22+00:00

The man having to foot the bill on every date means she sees her time as more valuable than yours.

Frailiul · 2022-04-23T11:37:20+00:00

That I'll never experience one

bluestjuice · 2022-04-22T21:13:50+00:00

Women have robust sexual appetites.

ProBlackMan1 · 2022-04-23T00:55:51+00:00

Men have more disadvantages than women in dating.

CliffPR · 2022-04-22T21:57:24+00:00

The longer a woman wants to wait for sex, the less she likes you.

Not agreeing to be "just friends" with someone you are attracted to DOES NOT mean you only wanted sex from them.

Ghosting is never acceptable.

ruboyuri · 2022-04-22T22:23:35+00:00

Dating is neither a guarantee nor socialism nor prostitution

Spread-Em-Plz · 2022-04-23T03:01:46+00:00

Sitting at home swiping on apps will NEVER count as half as much effort as real-life. I don't wanna just appeal to nature and do nothing else, but face it, us humans ain't used to this shit, not yet.
You should be self-improving even if it gets you no bitches. Refusing to do so because it won't get you women is a mindset of weakness and complacency; it's half the explanation as to why you ain't getting none
It's not at ALL worth dating a woman unless she's got that fire for you.
Being "kinda" attractive guy may be worse than being completely unappetizing; you'll be entertained for a bit or even considered, but then dropped for a guy she liked more or be lead on and then flaked on. At least when you're completely undesirable you know your place.
A lot of people in the dating world don't even want love or a relationship; they're craving the validation or attention, even if they tell themselves otherwise

WolfBroder · 2022-04-23T11:23:20+00:00

Talking about how men just need to groom themselves, dress in clothes that fit and shower is childish and condescending and dismissive of what men actually struggle with in dating

I can promise you that the men who care enough to go on a discussion board for a dating app or this subreddit absolutely already have all of that locked down

So can we please retire those suggestions and sentiments forever. They’re useless

FrostieTheSnowman · 2022-04-23T00:13:29+00:00

If you are a man, and you want to succeed at attracting the women you want, you need to put effort into your looks, you need to workout, you need to get some money (not a fortune, but enough), you need to work on your hygiene, you need to set proper boundaries, and you need to have a spine.

The same is true for women, except you can sub out the money for making his life easier. Men will put up with a LOT of shit, if you just help them out with chores, show that you value their time, and give them some love.

If I had a gal who looked good, treated me with respect, wanted sex (relatively) often, and took care of some things I don't want to do, dumping her or stepping out would literally never cross my mind. She could be broke as a joke, doesn't fucking matter lol.

hairy_bamboo · 2022-04-23T08:21:35+00:00

If she says her ex only used her for sex and she uses that justification to make you wait for months, run.

krasavetsa · 2022-04-23T04:55:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-04-22T22:21:52+00:00

Male and female attraction is generally NOT symmetrical
If a girl does certain sex acts with one guy but refuses with you , she's not that into you
A man who has his shit together should not date a feminist
Whoever asks for the date should pay for the date, if that bothers you don't ask or go somewhere that won't break the bank
A man cheating and a woman cheating are different, both not great, but different

2022-04-23T09:26:59+00:00

Women have it much easier in the dating scene than men, and generally refuse to empathize with that and with the loneliness of the male journey- and the negative effects that it inevitably has on the average persons mental health.

Kilatypus · 2022-04-22T22:33:50+00:00

Attraction is king. Nothing else truly matters.

Sad_Top1743 · 2022-04-22T22:28:18+00:00

Hypergamy. I don’t take anyone seriously who debates that this isn’t true

Infammo · 2022-04-22T22:31:52+00:00

Women do not change what they’re attracted to as they get older they just deprioritize attraction when selecting a partner. Things like stability, kindness, and financial success are not “attractive” traits in men they’re just traits women find useful in their partner.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-04-22T21:14:53+00:00

You need to offer as least as much as you want out of someone else to realistically get them, even if that's in a different form.

WolfBroder · 2022-04-23T11:15:38+00:00

Even if all women aren’t actively hypergamous, all women benefit from female hypergamy and thus all women are at least passively hypergamous

As long as some women cluster among higher valued males, all women get to move up the roster because of the vacuum that ensues a.k.a. All women get to date *up***

ogsimpology · 2022-04-22T22:05:16+00:00

"Personality doesn't matter" is the absolute biggest lie told by incels and red pillers who've never engaged in a serious relationship.

Looks get you through the door much easier than personality does. But looks don't keep a healthy and worth while relationship going. They only desolve into sex and eventually an unhappy marriage or a break up.

thycuprunnethover · 2022-04-22T21:46:25+00:00

That dating is a waste of time, in which men engage in a whole song and dance, a sort of pathetic "ooh, pick me, pick me" choreograph, for jack diddly squat. In the meantime, they don't know how many guys they are competing against, and for that guy, you may be the only option, whereas for the girl, you might be one of the 100 other options she has. If you slip up during the dance, on to Johnny boy, with the six pack! Oh wait, but first, let me whip out my 1,500 page checklist to really, really make sure he's good enough? oh wait, how many of these things am I able to offer myself? none? Oh well, onwards!

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-04-23T00:56:18+00:00

The only purposes of romantic relationships: fun, relaxation and stress relief. 😊

Men not providing that, it's a 103% out and a no for me. Hasn't failed me yet.

DillonTheFatUglyMale · 2022-04-23T13:24:56+00:00

Men shouldn't pay for women on the first date. Women are equals and must be treated as such.

NinjaSupplyCompany · 2022-04-22T22:10:08+00:00

personal: the max amount of time to date me is 4-5 years before we move to at least, the engagement level. i’m not interested in being girlfriend forever or into playing house with someone who won’t marry me. also no kids before marriage. if you don’t want marriage or kids, we will not work and i’m not changing that for anyone.

general (based on conversations with women i know): men’s sexual past does matter. a nonexistent n count can signify inexperience. a large n count signifies desperation or that you have no standards/morals. any history of paying for sex is usually an immediate dealbreaker for a serious relationship.

SurelyWoo · 2022-04-23T02:46:06+00:00

I stopped dating women who identify as feminists. Not because I am particularly conservative, but because modern feminism has become delusional and misandrist.

sarkington · 2022-04-22T22:07:14+00:00

No one is forcing anyone to do/not do or want/not want anything

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-04-22T21:05:36+00:00

Men's n count matters less than women's

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billsull_02842 · 2022-04-22T22:35:01+00:00

a woman judges a flower by its appearance?

WolfBroder · 2022-04-23T11:29:58+00:00

We can accept the reality that people have personal preferences while simultaneously agree that some of those preferences are extremely shallow and should be derided

2022-04-23T14:19:54+00:00

(Straight) couples where one person is super traditional about gender roles and the other isn't, are doomed.

2022-04-23T23:20:29+00:00

A person's action tells you all you need to know about how they feel about you.

2022-04-24T05:15:38+00:00

No fat women. No women without an education in a scientific or technical field

TotalTravesty · 2022-04-22T21:13:27+00:00

The person who asks for the date should be prepared to pay for it.

Playing the field as long as you want is valid until exclusivity is discussed and established.

Looks is a valid reason to turn someone down—though have enough class to use a euphemism.

There are no rules to when to start having sex. If you don’t like how long you’re “being made to wait” then step up and say something or step off.

gladusgates · 2022-04-22T21:32:02+00:00

That 20% of the men are having sex with 80% of the women.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-04-22T20:59:44+00:00

If you didn’t have the balls to ask her out, you didn’t deserve to be her boyfriend anyways.

Cupcakelover1985 · 2022-04-22T22:53:12+00:00

In regards to dating womens time is more valuable than mens because of womens biological clock and mens age preferences.

KFC_Fleshlight · 2022-04-22T22:33:59+00:00

you are the company you keep, if your boyfriend or girlfriend sucks you probably suck too.

daddysgotanew · 2022-04-22T22:34:21+00:00

What you said. Women are just as shallow as men, but other things can make up the difference if there’s enough. Like money, which means she doesn’t have to work; or status, which women can’t get enough of.

Also that most men don’t even exist to women. When they talk about men, they’re talking about the top 10 percent. The rest are just NPC drones to them.

Visible-Doughnut-782 · 2022-04-22T23:25:28+00:00

Anybody who is actively looking for a relationship but finds themselves perpetually single has unrealistic standards.

Urbantexasguy · 2022-04-23T01:40:55+00:00

Men who claim that women have a much lower sex drive, have never truly experienced a woman’s full passion.

antariusz · 2022-04-23T02:42:04+00:00

I will not pay for a first date meal. I'm a dude that makes 200k a year, it's too easy to get taken advantage of.

I'm not your free meal ticket, I'd rather just unmatch if I even catch of whiff of that.

Isoke11 · 2022-04-23T02:52:33+00:00

Good sex is the most important part of a relationship, everything else pales in comparison.

DrBoby · 2022-04-22T21:39:46+00:00

I refuse to consider LTR with someone whose parents are separated.

If the parents did it, the person may do it. Parents are exemples and influence.

E-2-butene · 2022-04-22T21:21:07+00:00

Mine is that women on average are most aroused by big muscles not “swimmer bods.”

Swimmer bods are just a fairly achievable physique that does pretty okay at balancing different features that women want, namely low bf% for facial aesthetics and muscularity. But if you get lean and muscular, it’s still an advantage.

NinjaSupplyCompany · 2022-04-22T22:48:14+00:00

I won't date a girl that doesn't have sex with me relatively quickly (first 3 dates for sure, second one probably the 'sweet spot'). Reason being, here's what I see as the options:

A: She's not having sex with you because she's not that interested

B: She's not having sex with you because she's not like that

C: She had sex with you because she was interested

D: She had sex with you because she's like that

I think most people's n-counts are fairly normal and not hyper-inflated as some RP people think. But I think a lot of people's sexual partners fall into category C. If you can identify Category D later in other ways, you just need to see if a girl is A or C. Boom, screening for high interest. Also screening out girls who will often consider your needs second to their personal interests.

Crazy_Lawfulness_582 · 2022-04-22T22:46:26+00:00

The mating game is a transaction

2022-04-23T00:09:12+00:00

No dating women under 5'6''.

DeliciousPussyNectar · 2022-04-23T12:47:47+00:00

Most men don’t deserve the women they think they do.

Complex-Glass-8539 · 2022-04-22T22:01:24+00:00

If you suck in bed as a woman (in the eyes of the guy), you’re literally just a backup plan to a guy with options….at any point in the relationship.

Friedidli · 2022-04-23T09:01:44+00:00

Hot take : traditional women are a red flag.

NotADoctorAnymore · 2022-04-22T23:13:07+00:00

I’m not paying for dates. You’re here to get to know me and have a good time;I’m here to get to know you and have a good time. Your time isn’t more valuable than mine

moresleepy1 · 2022-04-23T02:24:56+00:00

If she let a guy smash for free but expects you to taker out, she's not into you like him. If she was taken out and let a dude clap cheeks on the first night but you didnt. She's not into you like him. If you aren't getting anything faster or equal to another dude, you're second place. You don't settle for second unless you're okay with being second to this dude. If not, throw her away. How much sense it make, say this chick becomes your wife, that the guy who she was that much about to marry was the dude who had to wait and work the hardest? She's going to sit there and lie to your face about "You're the best thing to happen to me." Really bitch? You felt he was that damn good without having to put anything in.

Keeping friends with ex bfs and fwbs is a flat out red flag for cheating. Keeping pictures of past relationship is signs of not moving on and wanting to relive memories. You want to live in the past? Cool, live there. I'm going to find someone who looks to the future.

Won't date a broke woman unless she took some hard knocks that weren't her fault. Letting your punk ass ex take advantage of you is on you. Your terrible money management is on you. Not trying to improve your career is in you.

No women with kids from different fathers and never been married to any of them. You'll just let anyone nut in you. Divorced women are fine, unless you're on your second divorce. Then I know you're either bad at relationships or shit at picking men.

People with high body counts are terrible at relationships, will cheat and have no self worth. To them, they're impulsive and reckless and not worth taking a risk on, especially since most women will tell you they rarely if ever cum from hooking up, but still do it, over and over. That's a broken ass dummy and they belong to the streets. The cheating thing, sex is nothing important to them, just like being promiscious. Anyone can get it, any place, anytime, no matter what. It wasn't special before, you think it's suddenly special because of you? Yeah, ask Roy Horn about how special that the tiger who attacked him thought he was after he had raised that thing it's whole life.

LittleDragonMaiden · 2022-04-23T00:51:10+00:00

I expect a man to provide.

2022-04-22T23:03:41+00:00

Dudes struggle because they're not masculine enough. I've even heard gay men say that modern men behave like soft-ass bitches.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2022-04-23T01:48:42+00:00

Women don't come completey understand what makes them find someone attractive (not just physically), and it doesn't seem like they care to understand it.

One moment they can be interested in a guy, and he does literally nothing different for like 10 seconds and she is no longer interested in him.

Or

A guy could check all of her boxes (written and unwritten (all of them)), but she still doesn't see him as a romantic partner and she doesn't know why.

Anti_Thing · 2022-04-22T22:30:27+00:00

I would never date a woman who I wouldn't want to raise my children. (Those who don't want kids or who aren't Christian are thus automatically off the table).

Bdog5k · 2022-04-22T23:33:40+00:00

Those two statements seem totally contradictory.

sweetsaltyuMAMI · 2022-04-23T07:15:49+00:00

First dates should always be financially non committal, meaning no fancy dinners, expensive activities, etc., unless agreed upon by both parties with a set expectation of who will pay. There should be zero expectation of touching on the first date besides a welcome and good hug.

chadmarco · 2022-04-22T21:52:31+00:00

Penis size is the primary key to being good at sex. Pointing to things like pussy eating, finger banging or clit play is the same as guys saying they are nice. It has no real value because these are things anyone can do so its not special, and woman tend to select for abnormal favorable traits in all areas. Basically the novelty of being well endowed far exceeds everything else the same way being confident/assertive holds far more weight than being nice and agreeable.

dbz19 · 2022-04-23T04:50:56+00:00

Nothing wrong with age gaps as long as it's consensual and both sides are happy, then its great and everyone else should shut the fuck up.

An 18 year old can consent to joining the army and getting their head blown off by artillery.

An 18 year old can vote, and in countries which aren't shit holes like the USA, can consent to drinking and consuming what's essentially a drug that kills brain cells.

Now they're trying to make it that kids can consent to hormone therapy treatment which permanently destroys their body and genitals.

And don't even get me started on babies getting circumcised.

But apparently a 23 year old woman in a relationship with a guy in his 30's is being abused and manipulated and bla bla bla bla. Like seriously shut the fuck up.

majani · 2022-04-23T07:15:01+00:00

If a woman is highly attracted to you, she is happy to have unprotected sex with you. And vice versa

ThrowAWAY6UJ · 2022-04-22T23:55:44+00:00

For me, it’s that women care about looks as much as men. Men just care about other things less than women do.

You‘re wrong.

That’s the hill I’m willing to die on.

RedPillReich · 2022-04-23T00:18:35+00:00

Femcels have it worse than incels

yupyupyuypypn · 2022-04-23T04:43:35+00:00

Men and women are completely different species basically/ this explains why it’s so hard for us to understand each other’s wants and desires in relationships. Our brains are wired differently

2022-04-23T09:56:40+00:00

Gaming and porn is one of the worst things to happen to the men.

Men don't age like wine. They all get crow's feet, sag and bald. This isn't a problem, of course.

Non monogamy very rarely works. Swingers are usually couples who are bored of each other and lack attraction, poly people usually have attachment issues and lack impulse control.

You can't predict people's personalities in the future. So don't beat yourself up if you fall out of love with someone after 15 years and want a divorce. People do change over time - especially if you meet them young.

2022-04-23T12:16:50+00:00

I am the boss. Deal with it.

uhuratrek · 2022-04-23T09:27:01+00:00

most men want a relationship with as little effort as possible and sex but want a cook, nurse, therapist, maid all in one

nemma88 · 2022-04-23T00:16:38+00:00

Feminine resources are simultaneously under and overvalued in debate here; there is value ascribed to youth, the understanding that it's fleeting, a finite resource. That femininity or low n is of higher value.

Then that all goes down the trashchute when performing calculations of transactional relationships. But muh monnies.

Money isn't finite, and is a less valuable resource.

decoy88 · 2022-04-23T07:50:58+00:00

The most effective Blue Pill Strategy is exposure + time
It’s a numbers game - get physically in front of the most women you can. Social interaction with high volume is best strategy for non-autistic men
If you’re on the autism spectrum, these normal strategies won’t work for you!. You’ll need extra help to assist you through social interactions.

King-SAMO · 2022-04-23T09:44:53+00:00

Waiting four or five dates to get down is fine, but if either of you need longer than that, you’re just friends. That’s ok, and maybe one day something will come of it, but if after ~12 hours or so of face time you’re not attracted to them enough to overcome your hang ups, then that’s not a romantic relationship.l

Eta: single moms with One (1) awesome kid can get it, but most kids are shitty, and 2 kids take up too much time day in and day out to have a relationship that isn’t co parenting, which is a pretty shit date. and get the fuck out if they’ve got different dads. Hard pass.

Snoo16680 · 2022-04-23T10:14:45+00:00

OP: those two sentences contradict each other. For each thing you also care about, you care about everything else a little less. It is a case of prioritization.

hhhhhhikkmvjjhj · 2022-04-23T20:36:18+00:00

Feminism has made many womens lifes easier but dating and matching a lot harder. They sometimes claim it’s beneficial for men too but i think it’s a huge net negative.

IndependentFeminist3 · 2022-04-25T22:52:49+00:00

I don't like dating but I love women more than anything. The two main reasons I don't like dating is A) I don't want the woman to be locked with a man B) I don't wanna be locked away from other women.

Diamond-Breath · 2022-07-17T21:10:01+00:00

Men should pay for all of the dates. Women don't even get orgasms most of the time and we have more risks.

Title	What are some dating hills that you will die on?
Author	jespteins_blackbook
Upvotes	225
Comments	481
Date	April 22, 2022 8:52 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/u9oftr/what_are_some_dating_hills_that_you_will_die_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-some-dating-hills-that-you-will-die-on.1111564 https://theredarchive.com/post/1111564

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