Why are there so many lonely young people now? (Particularly men).

KayRay1994 · 2022-08-11T05:37:56+00:00

So many reasons -

1) people as a whole are more isolated due to less real human contact

2) dating apps have turned dating into a set of checklists rather than an interactive experience - and this spills over into how we deal with real life

3) online spaces are mostly echo chambers - meaning that most people are less willing and able to see past their limited pov

4) you can theoretically live the rest of your life without physically interacting with another human being now - that fucks with you

FrostieTheSnowman · 2022-08-11T16:36:00+00:00

My good lad, a lot of these answers are great, but I'm here to tell you that Online Dating is garbage, and it WILL fuck up your mental. Please don't feed that beast, for your own good.

resultsmatter1 · 2022-08-11T03:45:54+00:00

Physical standards warped by social media to unrealistically high bars.
Comparatively speaking men must put in orders of magnitude more effort to achieve a fraction of the success women do when dating for just existing
Other forms of entertainment and ways to spend time the most accessible and low cost in the history of history
Compounding self esteem and mental health issues of constant rejection
Socioeconomic issues
Social, professional, and even legal risk faced by men for expressing interest in a woman in person
Lack of support for men, double standards, and peddled falsehoods

Society stacked the deck heavily against men in the dating scene in the last decade intentionally or not - what do you all expect?

blueberriesdream · 2022-08-11T04:20:24+00:00

Not a "man" but just will share my point of view. I believe its the combination of encountering more "leisure" activities that arent social-oriented, which regularly would support meeting people in real life.

All my "adult" friends (men and women) were made pre-pandemic via college, mutual friends and work colleagues. Most of them required consistancy, time shared in casual fun times and challenging moments as well. As tempting as it is to join more online communities and continue creating web networks, I try to set a limit and look for hobbies outside. I just noticed that when I force myself to go out there and really cultivate social activities, its way easier to meet people.

aspiring-schizoid · 2022-08-11T12:25:42+00:00

People are competing with our solitude and not each other now. There’s so much in life that any relationship short of amazing isn’t worth it

sarkington · 2022-08-11T03:26:24+00:00

Technology

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-08-11T15:17:33+00:00

Computers, video games, cell phones, tablets and social media have raised a couple of generations of kids now. Many young adults are poorly socialized and frustrated because of it. When your parents' generation was young, Mom and Dad sent them outside to play and told them to be home when the street lights came on. Can't do that now, you're considered an irresponsible parent. So just plop them in front of a TV and stick a video game controller in their hand. It keeps the kid entertained, yes, but it doesn't really give them the skills they need to make friends and eventually date.

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-08-11T04:44:45+00:00

Don't discount confirmation bias. You see the outliers now far more easily than ever before. Information travels fast, and controversy punches through.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-08-11T13:43:21+00:00

Back in the day you could get a job that could support a family at 22 with no college education. You were probably ready to start a family and so were most women. Now? 22 year olds are likely living with their parents, still on their insurance, and unable to even support themselves let alone a family. Women are stuck in the same spot because it's generally accepted you'll need to be a dual income household to purchase a home or have children. I purchased my first home over 10 years after my parents purchased theirs.

Men also have few to no friends and often the ones they do have are Internet friends they play videogames with at best. Culturally this isn't seen as a large issue and many men seem to simply be waiting for a girlfriend to enter their lives and cure their loneliness. Men simply don't value other men. They don't view other men as a way to have intimate platonic relationships, to be mutually supportive.

Men also lack good role models. What's frightening is many are looking to internet personalities who essentially only grift for views aka money.

Self improvement is largely painted as diet and fitness. It's not mental health, increasing your social circle, becoming more active in your community, education, or pursuing hobbies. It's entirely shallow hollow pursuits that people view as self improvement and will garner the most praise.

TriggurWarning · 2022-08-11T13:27:19+00:00

Financial issues, obesity epidemic, poor mental health, social media, increased demand for educational investment.

UbettaBNaked · 2022-08-11T05:34:04+00:00

I think that a lot of men are tired of being told that we have to put in so much more work then our women counterparts. You have to be emotionally intelligent, good looking, have a well paying job so that you can provide and they just have to be women. So it's a lot of resentment going on and then they hate these women even more because they still want to have sex with them and even if the answers yes, it's a choice they made, which overall displays a level of control over them that they resent them for having. I think we see each other for the roles that society tells us we have to play as opposed to the individuals we actually are. If we could get past that I think we'd be fine.

Kentucky_Supreme · 2022-08-11T04:48:48+00:00

Nobody's tall enough or makes enough money. Just based on what I've seen/heard.

MGTOWManofMystery · 2022-08-11T18:12:02+00:00

Tinder plus Open Hypergamy plus the death of societally Enforced Monogamy. The end.

250umdfail · 2022-08-11T04:30:43+00:00

Historically, only 1-3rd men reproduced, while 2-3rd of women did. Only for a brief period in human evolution, did the majority of people reproduce. With falling marriage rates, women earning for themselves, people renouncing religion, and polyamory being normalized, we'll be back to status quo in a few decades. It's this transitory period where we'll have hordes of lonely people, until virtual reality, sex dolls, psychiatry, and possibly gene splicing catch up.

StrugglingRando · 2022-08-11T04:55:32+00:00

Because women have become more and more picky while becoming less and less desirable. There’s no incentive to improve.

Fun_Push7168 · 2022-08-11T14:02:31+00:00

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/08/online-dating-out-of-your-league/567083/

The disparity between desirability of a 20 yr old man and a 20 yr old woman is not experienced by women until age 50

You are at an age where women are at their most desirable and you are at your least.

Why, probably the bad combination of our biology and social media giving access to an unnaturally high number of people outside your peer group.

Keeps getting better though.

The_LSD_Fairy · 2022-08-11T14:56:31+00:00

The entire phenomenon can be explained with the statement

"Women don't want to build something with a man anymore, they would rather wait at the finish line and fuck the winner"

bottleblank · 2022-08-11T12:03:48+00:00

Pandemic

i-cussmmtimes · 2022-08-11T16:24:32+00:00

I had a conversation with my boyfriend about a month ago that somehow relates to this. I told him that it would make me happy for him maintain a group of friends that doesn’t include my circle because of course dynamics within your own friend group are different vs one that you’re just adopted into. He said it’s harder for them, circle of friends consisting of working age men, to maintain friendship that looks like mine (I have a varied friend group that I find easy to maintain because we tend to meet a lot). And that he would want to veer away from friend groups with women in it in respect of me (he is largely traditional I know it’s what makes him a unicorn believe me). In my friend group we can freely hug and stuff, and those interactions strengthen our bond. His friend group doesn’t have that and I believe the last time they met was when they were still workmates. Unless somebody takes the active role of being the social glue the group falls apart. I don’t know why men where I live is like that, but the general observation is it’s harder for them to maintain these relationships than women.

Hodgkins_Fun_Alt · 2022-08-11T16:28:49+00:00

Pre internet: if you wanted to be social with people, you needed to be physically near them. Social interaction was learned through trial and error, in person, and fuck your "anxiety" from being next to other live human beings you don't know that well.

Post internet: if you want to be social with people, you can do it online. People don't even try to do the social interaction part, and there are enough other losers and weebs out there with similar hobbies that they can fully envelop themselves in networks of similarly socially maladjusted people. The lack of interaction with the opposite sex leads to all sort of unfounded "observations" about the human condition.

People are neither scary nor complicated, but you can't learn that if you never leave the bedroom at your mom's house.

STOP USING A FUCKING APP TO MEET PEOPLE. The only thing an app can accurately tell you about someone else is that they have a profile on an app.

BE AROUND PEOPLE. You can't sharpen a knife that never leaves the fucking drawer, and you can't learn social skills if you never go anywhere or talk to anybody. Any participation trophies life was gonna give you were bestowed upon you when you were born. Everything else, you have to work for. And by work, I mean trying and failing at dating until you succeed.

LEARN TO DO INTERESTING, REAL-WORLD SHIT AND FIND OTHER PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO DO IT TOO. You don't need ice breakers if you've got common interests from the start.

This shit is basic common sense for the VAST majority of people.

That__EST · 2022-08-11T16:41:47+00:00

Because everybody jumped on the No Marriage Til 35 bandwagon without realizing there are pros and cons to everything.

little_jimmy_jackson · 2022-08-11T19:50:21+00:00

We have higher expectations now. We are all more hyper-aware of our wants and needs in a relationship as well as the deal-breakers. We're all more choosy now. In the past, you just sorta married your highschool sweetheart and made the best of it.

M_LaSalle · 2022-08-11T23:05:48+00:00

I'll say that many, probably most of the explanations offered here contain at least some truth, but when so many reasons are offered it's likely that none of them is the real reason.

Western Civ is dying, and the fact is that we die alone. We are not reproducing ourselves culturally or biologically. That dying process began before anyone reading this was born. Western Civ may stagger on a while longer, but the end is likely inevitable. I do not now believe that the process can be halted or reversed. We are at the beginning of a Dark Age.

The few children that we actually bear do not receive an upbringing that prepares them for the realities of courtship or coupledom. Young women are mostly entitled, fat, lazy and ugly. Young men are weak. I have heard a theory expressed that mutational load is a factor. As more children survive to adulthood, so do more harmful mutations. Perhaps that partly accounts for the observed drop in testosterone, but I think it is probably not the complete answer.

There is much more I could say. The Reddit Police would object. It is a hall mark of a dying civilization that the truth may no longer be spoken aloud.

Edokwin · 2022-08-11T04:17:47+00:00

Economics, self-involvement, lack of self-awareness, lack of empathy, plus a certain degree of complacency and avoidant behavior. Dating successfully is like being (and staying) in shape; we all kinda know what's required, but many of us reject it because it's hard and we assume (wrongly) that the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-08-11T04:23:46+00:00

Families are a lot smaller these days, opportunities to learn social skills got slimmer.

Single parent families are particularly bad at socializing their kids. Fatherless boys and girls grow up lost.

Babies raised in day cares with absent parents do much worse mentally and socially.

Technology has driven us apart. Kids spend less time with other kids.

Obesity fucks everything up.

Social media is destroying whatever little faith people had in each other.

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-08-11T05:40:23+00:00

Lack of irl social skills.

Look at young people nowadays. They are stuck in the digital world. They learn a type of socialisation that does not work effectically irl. In digital communication you don't have to deal with body language, vocal manerisms (how the words you say sound) and those things play an important role in how you are percieved irl. Also in digital world you can cease communication or ghost with "the snap of a finger" in irl you can't do that as you need to get away physically first.

They didn't learn how to interact with people irl and this gives them anxiety when they have to do it (as the point of s.o. is to have someone physically close).

We are social animals and we still need physical proximity to other people for our mental health. Look at how the quarantine, where you were not allowed physical proximity with people outside your household, affected the mental health of people.

Quick_Ad_3367 · 2022-08-11T14:41:19+00:00

For now, what I think we can be sure of is that the majority of young women reject and would reject the majority of young men. Why that is the case I dont know. I can only guess.

First, the attractiveness bar is set very high where to be considered normal you have to be fit, have certain universally accepted facial and body features. You have to be at a minimum above average at this point to even have a meaningful chance of having a normal love and sex lives (by this mean no significant droughts between sex and relationships).

Second, there is this culture in the west that includes a whole plethora of views that ruin things. There is universal hate on men, there is the cock carousel for young women, there are ideas that the men who act like they do not care are better.

Third, the crumbling of social structures where guys have no way of interacting with females during their life. The crumbling also leads to guy not having the social skills needed to have success with women or have friends. At the same time, men dont open up or those who do face ridicule, aggression, willing ignorance.

Fourth, there is a kind of weakness in young guys. I know a lot of guys who face one rejection and never try again or guys who havent even faced a rejection.

Fifth, there are guys who take the idea of the juice aint worth the squeeze very seriously and actually practice it. Why bother doing all these things - having a strict training and eating plan, facing the anxiety and shyness, facing the fear, always striving to be in their best form, always attempting to socialize, always attempting to perform, navigating mind games for an average club whore or a simple plain girl who have been with who knows how many guys before that. It doesnt really make sense considering this girl can find a new guy with a snap of her fingers.

In the end, what happens is that even guys who are above average or even attractive (I know of such) can end up being alone. There is almost no chance for the average and its absolute hell for the below average guys. Ive literally seen guys who are gym bros, educated, working, muscular, elegant looking, above average faces that still fail miserably or have year-long draughts. I know guys who have been fucked up so badly be women that they literally avoid women and relationships just for the sake of keeping their sanity.

gofigure62 · 2022-08-11T16:03:26+00:00

Young people don't socialize IRL. Everyone has depression, anxiety, and autisim.

Everyone also thinks someone is out to get them and hurt them.

My young friends literally NEVER want to do anything outside of their home or someone else's home. They don't go outside, for anything. They never meet new people.

They do nothing outside of work, watch Netflix, and/or play video games.

Most of my friends are decades older than me because they're the only people that mutually stay in touch and actually follow through with plans.

beztbudz · 2022-08-11T19:19:44+00:00

Porn

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-08-11T03:47:55+00:00

There have always been lonely men due to a large variety of factors including looks, financial situation, age, social skills, social opportunities, and mental health. But this number has grown as more and more people spend more time with technology especially men. Many men aren't learning the social skills to find friends or date. Due to technology and the obesity epidemic aren't investing enough into being attractive. Women tend to be more desired and pursued so they aren't as hurt by this. Because of technology our society isn't as social as it used to be and there aren't as many opportunities to meet women and not as many single women in social settings.

pronouns-king-lord · 2022-08-11T15:53:53+00:00

People need to understand that freedom comes with loneliest. Having a partner is a commitment and in good relationship both genders have to compromise a little.

I just heard a women complain that she cant find a man that pay for dinner, open the car door for her, etc, etc. Seems to me she wants a man that has traditional values but refuses to act like a traditional women. Both genders have a massive unrealistic standards.

We are seeing more and more adults still act like babies.

I want a nice body but i don't wanna go to the gym.

I want money but i don't wanna work hard for it.

I want a relationship but i don't want commitment.

moosemc · 2022-08-11T13:12:06+00:00

Income disparity renders many men simply ineligible.

SuperSaiyanAssHair · 2022-08-11T13:43:47+00:00

Women have too high standards

Poly_frolicher · 2022-08-11T16:23:22+00:00

I think women are finding more satisfaction in non-romantic relationships now, which leaves men with nothing since their capacity for those kinds of connections is low. My 31 year-old daughter lives in a house with two other good friends. They have each other and their shared church community, so they don’t date much. I find this more common as the world changes and women have more choices.

throwedboy · 2022-08-11T03:41:53+00:00

It’s not just men, it’s everyone. Technology, dating apps, social media. We all spend less time interacting with people in real life so we make fewer connections.

As far as dating, it’s tough for everyone. Men face constant rejection while women get played. No one wins.

carpetfoodie · 2022-08-11T09:58:37+00:00

6 feet 3 minimum teeehee

Inside_Media_61 · 2022-08-11T11:09:16+00:00

Tinder and lack of socially enforced monogamy. Along with women being freed of gender roles but men still being held to them

CatchPhraze · 2022-08-11T13:51:29+00:00

Obesity and anxiety

Hoopy223 · 2022-08-11T14:29:33+00:00

Western society glorifies independence and selfishness. We have forgotten about the importance of community. Thats why.

RealAmericanWeasel · 2022-08-11T15:58:56+00:00

Lack of opportunities.

NightWarrior06 · 2022-08-11T17:19:48+00:00

I mean, people were always lonely. The internet just made it easy for people to express those feelings and thoughts now.

prettymuchredpilled · 2022-08-11T19:00:48+00:00

A more isolated and terminally online society exacerbated by COVID
Poor economic prospects. Back in the 1970's you could support an entire family and own a home on just one man's income even if he didn't go to college, not anymore
The rise of online dating, which primarily only benefits attractive women and a small subset of highly successful men. This skews each gender's perceptions & standards and bleeds into real life
Addiction to pornography/OnlyFans/Instagram thots results in men having less drive to pursue women in the real world. Online dating apps are also modeled to be addictive and profitable i.e. "keep single men on the apps"

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2022-08-11T19:33:50+00:00

As women find empowerment by getting education, getting a good career, and remaining single.

Men are still expected to be more successful than women in education, their career, and not remaining single.

Tldr, modern day women expect more from men when it's the hardest it's ever been to succeed in life activities.

ThorxIII · 2022-08-11T23:59:17+00:00

Becuase men are disposable. We are easily replaceable as there is always someone else that will lie to a women to get what they want from her.

2022-08-12T04:58:43+00:00

Extreme social alienation caused by the digitalization of social interaction combined with existing in a consumerist postmodern western state with no coherent cultural fabric or national vision.

Obj3ctivePerspective · 2022-08-11T14:07:46+00:00

Literally everything comes down to social media and how it's warped women's perspectives

gladusgates · 2022-08-11T04:36:38+00:00

I don't think is news, but it's social media and overinflated female standards. Women have easier access now to men far above their own level with regards to casual sex, more than ever before. And it's not about to slow down, it's going to get worse as meeting people online has become the norm. Getting attention online, and especially on dating apps is due to how you look. If a guy isn't of a particular standard, women won't respond to his messages, on the other hand, they will more than happily message first if a guy passes a looks threshold for them.

The more attractive the woman, the higher their standards for looks are. Due to hypergamy, they will aim higher. So a woman who is a 7 will only message or respond to men who are 8s, 9s or 10s. A woman who is a 4, may only respond to 6s and above. Here's the trick, there's a certain level that isn't good enough for any woman regardless of how she looks. I would say even if the girl is a 2, a man below a 5 will not be good enough for her to give him a response or to even match.

So guys who might not be the best looking won't even get an opportunity to show their game or personality. Which leads to loneliness among men. They would have to date far below their own level to get a woman online. For casual sex, they may do this, but men won't get in a relationship with these women.

No-Nothing9287 · 2022-08-11T18:50:22+00:00

I’m a woman and tried endlessly to find love thru apps. Had a few successful dates (with men and women) that eventually went nowhere. I started to give up on finding love and just focused on myself. Started going to the gym, bought nicer clothes, and applied for new jobs to change my outlook on life. Eventually I got a new job and a coworker took notice. We re now living together and happy as can be. Imo it takes focus on yourself to get a partner to see what you see in yourself. And putting the phone down

UnbendingSteel · 2022-08-11T03:48:50+00:00

this is 100% due to the internet letting the weird antisocial kids retreat and turn into weird antisocial adults.

when i was young, the spergy kid was forced out there, his awkwardness be damned. he'd learn to mimic other kids and eventually become normal enough to have friends and date and marry.

nowadays, everyone's too worried about hurting the weird kid's feelings. there is no forced socialization, and he ends up missing the boat completely. they just slap on the spectrum label and let him exist in minecraft and discord. then you find them on reddit completely pornsick and clueless.

SS-naikku · 2022-08-11T08:08:21+00:00

There's no reason for women to date a less than stellar-looking, mild-mannered, cooperative man anymore.

Every guy has to be a bodybuilder minimum and be a sociopath of one form or another.

87AudreyHorne · 2022-08-11T05:01:59+00:00

Just some theories but I think the overall socialisation is lower and anxieties are higher. When I was a kid (and maybe this is still somewhat true for my country) you're just pushed out to play with other kids alone, you can be shy but you end up having to overcome a lot of these things in the process and just end up being able to socialize. I was a shy child. I hated having to meet new kids, I just wanted to have one friend and a comfort zone. But you just end up rolling with it. If I was growing up today I think I'd probably never learn any social skills. And then for guys it would be even harder because for them it also directly translates into romantic skills.

But a second element of this is exposure, one thing that really surprises me is when guys here talk about bad advice they got from their parents. I don't know who actually goes to parents for advice or takes general ideas their parents told them seriously. And that's because if you're socialising in an unrestricted way, as a kid you directly learn things for yourself. You don't put so much weight on some very general piece of advice. I think even socialised kids today, especially in US, seem to be so supervised they probably only hang out with an appropriate group of friends. If you're just hanging out on the street you end up in more mixed groups with usually some older kids everyone looks up to who also dish out advice, usually very different from what your mum and dad say.

This also isn't always good advice or something you'll follow but you get perspectives from someone already voted socially popular with proven success.

I think today you can get this alternative pov online but the problem is you'll end up in groups that reaffirm what you think, and you have no idea whom you're listening to. So instead of ending up with a random mixed social sample of kids in the street and kids in school or kids in a place you're taking vacation in, with most experienced ones being the ones talking, you might be getting advice from someone who never even had a conversation

And then adults now use online dating which to me seems to completely turn what used to be spontaneous and a result of things like chemistry or clicking into something like a job interview where people are selling themselves to potential dates.

What I heard from some people practising it is that the issue is, you know that everyone is talking to several people and going out with several people all the time until it gets more serious with one. So you have to do it too. But that completely takes out the joy and focus on one person you're getting to know. It's efficiency over romance, but not a good way of making any real connection

WickedBiscuit · 2022-08-11T17:36:30+00:00

There are definitely a large number of young men unwilling to improve. However, even for those working on themselves, the “standards” indoctrinated into us in our youth that would make a guy acceptable are not longer even the bare minimum.

I think a lot of average guys that are developed and do work on themselves are basically invisible.

You see a lot of gaslighting towards young men like “you need to get off the couch and socialize etc. get a career, friends, hobbies, be interesting!” Then one a guy makes a comment that he has these things on lock he is told “that doesn’t entitle you to a partner, no one owes you anything!” Or “you may check all the boxes but that doesn’t matter, you need to have a funny witty personality that draws people in and do push pull and have game etc”

It’s kind of a catch-22 for guys. One one hand we are berated for not meeting standards and when we do meet these standards we are told “well that doesn’t entitle you to anything!”

I think this lose lose situation is often swept under the rug. People like to believe in the just world fallacy and also don’t want to acknowledge that standards of women are incredibly unrealistic.

Glass_Bucket · 2022-08-11T03:43:53+00:00

Before the internet, if someone was a loser, they'd either rot alone or would be forced to improve.

But now with the internet, people can find online communities of other losers, who basically do everything except for actually trying to improve

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-08-11T11:08:32+00:00

They have no game and they mostly don’t try.

Also a lot of women are choosing not to be single over the options that are being presented

domdomdom333 · 2022-08-11T07:23:58+00:00

For men the ratio of risk vs reward has collapsed. Your grandfather at worst might be rejected on the spot by comparison now you can be made an example off online. Seen multiple stories online of men being falsely accused of rape and losing everything by merely being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Not saying it was ideal in the 50's but we've completely swung to the polar opposite.

Why would a man take such a risk? Why would a man engage in a conversation with a woman at a bar? Why would a man risk an accusation just to help out a girl at the gym? How can a man have a date with a woman and have some sort of alibi?

Maybe it's just me but I and I think many other men are simply terrified of women. It's far safer to just do things solo like sitting at home, work or some solo hobby like the gym.

Crenshaw59Blackman · 2022-08-11T08:53:10+00:00

Average women don’t want them, because you can have sex with a man out your league, doesn’t mean your in that league. Men date down,, for sex. Women date equal or higher, period. A regular guy who makes $22hr @ CVS or Kroger is invisible to most girls his age. But after 35 years old and he starts looking good Money up,, weight down and here she come,, Trauma and kids from bad relationships and unable to give him any because your to old or can just have 1. And he can get a younger fertile female, I personally know men in there early 50’s and 60’s starting a family Getting married for the first time. Be persistent and if they don’t want you now,, show them no love later.

MassageGymnist · 2022-08-11T16:35:33+00:00

Women's standards have increased because they have more education and career success than ever before and want men more educated and successful men than themselves.

Many cities have more men than women due to the presence of certain industries.

People are fatter and men are less tolerant of that than women.

More time spent at home or working long hours.

Lots of women just don't perceive male interests and activities as valuable.

Women's perception of their own value has inflated because the internet has opened the gates of male thirst.

Short term relationships along with a disposability mindset have become acceptable and even encouraged in some circles.

Male dominated professions like IT stuff don't increase mate value that much regardless of money earned.

deznue · 2022-08-11T21:52:44+00:00

Mostly because women are just sleeping around and not committing so men just start playing the game and not commit either.

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sl3epsfortheweak · 2022-08-11T09:07:29+00:00

Friendships are just hard to navigate you don't know how people will feel if you say something or whether they'll get offended or not

2022-08-11T14:18:54+00:00

Masculinity teaches men getting ran thru is more fun than forming real relationships

trilobright · 2022-08-11T18:05:41+00:00

Almost all of the girls I dated in my teens and 20s I met through friends, or at work. Young adults today seem to have fewer IRL friends, and they're more likely to work lonely gig economy jobs without many real coworkers. At the lower end of the socio-economic spectrum, most jobs are still largely gender-segregated, with men working in trades, and women doing things like cutting hair, housekeeping, and minding other people's children. Across class boundaries, our lives are more atomised and we spend more time alone at home, getting our human interaction fix over social media or online gaming. The only people whose lives have become more conducive to meeting the opposite sex are the upper middle class with cushy PMC jobs, which often have corporate-mandated 50/50 (or close to it) gender ratios. And even with them, covid made WfH more widespread, which obviously has a lot of advantages, but makes it harder to use one's job to meet people.

DaddysPrincesss26 · 2022-08-11T18:32:50+00:00

There’s a Difference between Being Lonely and Being Alone

szclimber · 2022-08-11T20:32:34+00:00

Many factors. In the 18-25 age range there are about twice as many single men compared to single women

AdobiWanKenobi · 2022-08-11T22:44:05+00:00

I have met 3 women in my life who share the same hobbies as me. On a day to day basis I interact with only one woman and that’s not in person either, excluding my mum ofc.

You do the maths.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-08-11T23:03:57+00:00

Why are there so many lonely young people now? (Particularly men).

Women are "delaying marriage", as in they are Alpha f*cking / Beta bucking, so they look for sex when younger and relationships when older.

Smithersink · 2022-08-11T23:05:35+00:00

I don’t want to sound like I’m putting the blame on feminism, but that’s what a lot of the Manosphere is largely in response to. I think so much of an emphasis has been placed in recent years on female empowerment that a large part of the population (young men) feel isolated and left behind. That leads to backlash as these young men become angry with their treatment, and they get resentful. The same thing is happening with young women, too, I believe. I think we’ve reached an unprecedented time in history where young men and women can’t relate to each other at all, and in turn start to hate each other! That may be in part due to social media being an echo chamber, and in part due to online dating being impersonal and dehumanizing.

Physical-Pie748 · 2022-08-11T23:13:56+00:00

you know the answer....this question is asked everytime....and people tell the same answers.....

"An experiment with Tinder found that 'the bottom 80% of men (in terms of attractiveness) are competing for the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men."

"Washington PostThe share of men under 30 in the USA who aren't having sex has nearly
tripled between 2008 and 2018, according to data published in the Washington Post."

lord_of_memezz · 2022-08-11T23:53:02+00:00

Most women have unrealistic expectations brought on by toxic social media and most men have turned into simps brought on by a society that tells them masculinity is toxic. Both sides have no real good role models to guide them in the right way and when men and women try to couple things dont work.

Blaphrodite · 2022-08-12T00:44:37+00:00

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-state-our-unions/202208/the-rise-lonely-single-men

Blaphrodite · 2022-08-12T00:46:59+00:00

It’s no longer enough to be born with male parts.

Or have a job.

Women require more than that now. And most men were not properly raised into the role that is now required of them.

Many are still playing old games, pua nonsense and measuring their worth by the number of women they bed without having quality relationships or even knowing what those look like.

Canadian-Hunter · 2022-08-12T01:54:49+00:00

as my 66 year old widowed male plumbing boss puts it:
"they all get ugly when you get older"

gabishes · 2022-08-12T02:12:31+00:00

men are more likely to be single not by choice and stay that way because more women are opting out of dating. Simply put, we don’t need you anymore. We can have bank accounts in our own name now and just live. So women are now treating men like dessert. Nobody needs subpar dessert, so why have any? Thats why the “simps” are winning. “Simps” treat you like dessert.

runningvicuna · 2022-08-12T03:45:39+00:00

Relationships are dead. The rapture is coming. Fess up.

Substantial_Video560 · 2022-08-12T10:58:47+00:00

I've gone MGTOW so no longer give a f..k! 😎

If I ever need a sexual fix I'll just see an escort.

The longterm solution will be found in the developing technogies of VR, A.I. and sexbots. These will provide companionship for the elderly, disabled, lonely and people who are datingly challenged. I see only positives.

LUCKYMAZE · 2022-08-12T14:26:59+00:00

Bc women only date the same top 5% guys

wtknight · 2022-08-11T12:17:31+00:00

Finding sex or a relationship is hard work for average men. It’s work even for high value men, which is why so many of them “slum” for so long and only try to sleep with average women, because it’s like playing the game on easy mode.

Many men are lazy these days and don’t want to put in the work anymore. There are lots of distractions now due to the Internet and the immersive games that exist now, and many men would rather spend their time doing those things than trying to improve themselves only to have to simp for some average woman who will likely reject him at least 95% of the time. In the old days, there weren’t as many hobbies for young men to distract themselves with, so we had no choice but to go out and socialize.

Eventually some woman out there is going to be into a guy. Today’s men don’t have the patience for that, though.

2022-08-11T16:43:52+00:00

Young men think that being emotionally vulnerable, and building bonds with others will make them less lonely when in reality it’s the main reason why. The more successful and fulfilled their life is will bring people to them and end the loneliness, but we don’t promote men being successful, and that’s why they’re lonely

mcove97 · 2022-08-11T18:58:41+00:00

Women don't need men as much as men need women.

Steakman1 · 2022-08-11T03:34:18+00:00

A lot of these young men, instead of trying to self-improve, sit on online echo chambers and blame society and women.

I think you answered your own question.

Vtridolla · 2022-08-11T03:31:31+00:00

I would say economic and the advancement of technology.

2022-08-11T03:48:26+00:00

internet

feline_amenities · 2022-08-11T08:38:44+00:00

It will only get worse from here on.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-08-11T11:29:28+00:00

Mainly lack of socialization. We are exposed to more people than ever before, but there’s no sense of community and few meaningful connections. Also important to note that lonely young people now have a platform to complain about how lonely they are, whereas they didn’t really before. I’m sure they have always existed to some extent.

iamatwork24 · 2022-08-11T17:29:21+00:00

There has always been a bunch of lonely young people. Only now, they can all congregate in an online echo chamber and that makes them think that this is the experience of everyone! When in reality most people have luck in the dating world but they don’t have the need to find an online group who is in the same boat because they’re happy. Unhappy people attract unhappy people and then it turns into a toxic environment where everyone is to blame but themselves.

Apprehensive_Boat_70 · 2022-08-11T06:11:45+00:00

Men have been raised to be weak and co-dependent, imagine u give a kid highly addictive drugs, what would happen? That kid grows up to be a junkie, now replace drugs with validation, respect and attention particulary from fEmAlEs and what do we get? We get men who believe they have to be horrible people just to be accepted by a cheap ass cum dumpster, we get men who give up their dignity so a whore gives them their thumbs up, with get men that waste their hard earned money in search of the love they never got , we get men putting other men down so a worthless slut approves of them, you might think im angry, well i am, im tired of all the damage this false paradigm has done to society, a lot of men have killed themselves just because they got no female validation, they get told they are worthless as men if women dont approve of em wich makes them feel lonely, and ironically such way of thinking makes them get even more rejected as women only approve of guys that dont need their approval, this is the biggest reason why men are so lonely nowadays and im willing to kill on that hill.

2022-08-11T11:51:57+00:00

Because they base their entire self worth on getting attention on apps. If the only source of validation they have is that then they have a stunted self concept.

AcanthocephalaNew947 · 2022-08-11T04:11:17+00:00

Just gonna leave this

Here

Louis_Roulet_ · 2022-08-11T12:54:18+00:00

Why are there so many lonely young people now? (Particularly men)

They aren't.

Remember, Reddit is full of social awkward, neuro atypical, social anxiety, introverted, ASD, non-normal people. So you see so much overrepresentation of incels/femcels.

In Normie-land, people are doing just fine

Sophiatab · 2022-08-11T14:50:20+00:00

Previous generations of men understood that they had to provide an incentive for women to date them. They had to offer something other than a penis (or if that was all they had, the penis had to be attached to an extremely attractive male) to motivate a woman. Now days too many men make no effort and expect everything to be given to them.

goats-egg · 2022-08-11T19:40:08+00:00

I'm curious why youre describing young men unsuccessful in romantic relationships as "lonely" and even "hopeless". Is being lonely, hopeless, and successful entirely encapsulated by whether or not you manage to get into a romantic relationship with a singular person, when there so many meaningful platonic relationships that can be made with many?

These men aren't hopeless, even if they say they are. Your lack of success on dating apps (which suck, btw) does not mean you are a undesirable, and I feel that this kind of mentality can be damaging to your self esteem. Dating apps only provide a very narrow perspective on people that can make it feel like it's everyone.

I'm a woman and younger than you, so I lack perspective on the issue. But I've never been in a relationship before, yet I do not feel lonely or hopeless. You're still young and you have plenty of time to find a partner, and I think there's a lot more in life than pursuing romance.

SnowHatesWome · 2022-08-11T04:11:26+00:00

No one’s lonely bro. It’s just in your head.

mcouve · 2022-08-11T13:31:03+00:00

You're not certain? It's misogyny. It's men thinking that they can date a 20 year when they are 40 so they won't settle down. And I'm talking about the men on this sub who put women down for NO REASON almost every day. One day it's their body count, the next day it's their age, the next day is she didn't decide to get pregnant soon enough, the next day is "I don't want to date a single mom", like seriously you all hate women so much for existing and then you wonder why you're lonely? Seriously do you men think this attracts any woman of any kind besides a pickme? A woman who respects herself will never date a man on this sub. It's not technology. It's all of you. You're the problem. And the women who support this sub are the problem as well.

beleidigtewurst · 2022-08-11T13:32:14+00:00

particularly men

You know that number of men and women in 20-50 range is roughly on par, don't you?*

How on Earth could there be more lonely men than women, are we into polygamy and I've missed it?

(*21 or so boys are born for each 20 girls, but boys die more often)

ToughTwinkies · 2022-08-11T23:45:54+00:00

I don’t think it’s particularly men. Maybe it seems like that to you, a man. But it’s not.

AelfredRex · 2022-08-11T11:25:43+00:00

Immaturity.

Too many 20-something young men that still think like 14-year old middle schoolers. The women are growing up and moving on while the little boys refuse to budge an inch on that road to mental adulthood.

Title	Why are there so many lonely young people now? (Particularly men).
Author	Inside_Media_61
Upvotes	206
Comments	489
Date	August 11, 2022 3:24 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wlh2my/why_are_there_so_many_lonely_young_people_now/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-there-so-many-lonely-young-people-now.1127791 https://theredarchive.com/post/1127791

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