Women are happier "single" because they're aren't really single at all

Ok-Map-7596 · 2023-09-18T15:24:48+00:00

Single means not in a relationship. Words have meaning.

Justwannaread3 · 2023-09-18T14:11:16+00:00

There are, in fact, women who are not on the apps.

Internal-Fig-7902 · 2023-09-18T14:16:42+00:00

What most women mean by "women are happier single" is having an endless buffet of men out of their league to sleep around with (but can't get them to commit) and not have to have any relationship quality because it's easier to sleep around than to form relationships, because that requires effort and personality, something those women have neither of.

obviousredflag · 2023-09-18T14:57:55+00:00

There are women like this "average single guy" as well. What you portray as happily single women also applies to a lot of happily single men.

There are very few foreveralone guys, and they are definitely not "average". Their equivalents in women exists as well and they do not have situationships for the same reasons the foreveralone guys are not having them.

What is your view on the average single woman's life based on? Anecdotes or data?

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-09-18T16:12:31+00:00

So many men on this sub forget that unattractive women exist

learn2earn89 · 2023-09-18T16:44:13+00:00

Depends. I’ve been single for 33 years and have never been in a situationship or a hook up or anything like that.

Hot-Law2682 · 2023-09-18T15:13:26+00:00

I know plenty of women who are focused on their careers (usually school) and socializing so they currently neglect dating.

If a great guy came around they would be down to date but its just not a priority.

I'd say in this case they are "happily single" because they get their happiness from their friends and from pursuing a goal they care about.

Firm_Shirt_2553 · 2023-09-19T03:20:50+00:00

Exactly, it's like comparing someone that is fasting to someone that is starving.

grillopie · 2023-09-18T14:11:33+00:00

Just because you can isnt that much of a benefit. You probably have options youd say no to.

Schmurby · 2023-09-18T14:49:31+00:00

Sounds like the OP is suggesting that every woman is in a polyamorous relationship with the entire world.

AhsokaSolo · 2023-09-18T15:02:47+00:00

Good God. No. Not all "happily single" are on apps, or consistently dating, especially in their 40s and above. Lots of women don't even enjoy casual sex. I don't know any happily single women that fit your description. If I was single, I wouldn't fit it either.

Once again. Silly, broad generalizations to huge groups of strangers you immaturely presume to fit your experiences/feelings exactly. There's so much of that around here.

jaybalvinman · 2023-09-18T15:04:39+00:00

You don't know many women. There are women who just can't get any man they find attractive to date them. And they are not into casual sex. Therefore they are single and lonely too. I've been there.

I would also argue that men can pay for xes or an escort so they don't have to be truly lonely and without xes either.

Able-Imagination3695 · 2023-09-18T17:59:19+00:00

Happily single men do the same thing, you just don't know about them because most normal, well-adjusted men don't associate with redpill guys or the kind of individual that centers women to a pathetic degree lol

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-09-18T16:11:46+00:00

You realize that every scenario also involves a man, right?

imagineDoll · 2023-09-18T23:04:59+00:00

single man is like being thirsty in a desert. single woman is like being thirsty in a swamp.

Important-Roll782 · 2023-09-18T16:07:09+00:00

Two problems here.

Men who are incels are passive little twits who'd rather whinge online than, gasp, talk to a girl in person.
If you don't want to screw the fat girl you work with at Subway you're also being voluntarily single.

JNRoberts42 · 2023-09-18T14:17:48+00:00

Women know there are men out there trying to get together with them, be it casual dating or something more

If women aren’t romantically or sexually attracted to them, they aren’t options, they are men posing as phony friends in the hopes they can wear her down or manipulate her into dating them.

Women are more likely to be happily single because they have a larger social support system. But men, too, could have the same thing if they would stop viewing women as opportunities and regard them as friends instead unless or until there is evidence of mutual attraction.

The best way to break out of a loneliness rut is to stop listening to men who say “men and women can’t be friends” and actually make some friends.

sweetbrown89 · 2023-09-18T14:55:57+00:00

This is like saying guys who have lots of sex and don’t date women are “single” in quotes

Single just means not in a relationship

Having tons of or no sex at all or dates or no date have zero effect on the word “single”

You could be in a relationship and have tons of sex or no sex or lots of dates or no dates and it doesn’t have an effect on the word “relationship”

If you want near limitless access to disappointing sex with men…you could try Grindr?

Clementinequeen95 · 2023-09-18T14:25:42+00:00

Nah I’m happily single and I don’t date at all. I don’t need male attention. I like to have my own free time and do my own thing. Most women are happily single because it means they don’t have to babysit men who don’t know how to do basic tasks. We also tend to have large support systems so I spend time with friends. There’s lots of women who are single and aren’t interacting with men at all.

kamalaophelia · 2023-09-18T19:26:02+00:00

I was A LOT happier as single than I was when I was only treated as a bangmaid in my relationships and thought that was simply the reality of dating as a woman.
I am MAJORLY happier with a partner who loves and respects me.

The risk to fall into the hands of a manipulator, abuser etc is too high. Too many men don't even know how to make themselves a sandwich. And when in puppy love phase one gladly makes those sandwiches. Then more is demanded, and more and more and nothing is returned... and that is when women leave, take a deep breath and realize how nice it is to be single.

The risk of falling into the hands of a manipulator, abuser, etc. is too high. Too many men don't even know how to make themselves a sandwich. And when in puppy love phase one gladly makes those sandwiches. Then more is demanded, and more and more and nothing is returned... and that is when women leave, take a deep breath, and realize how nice it is to be single. le. e.

MyLastBestChance · 2023-09-18T14:10:14+00:00

So because men are desperate and thirsty, women aren’t actually single (even when they are definitely single and celibate) because they are choosing to be so instead of having meaningless and likely unsatisfying casual sex with those thirsty men?

Safinated · 2023-09-18T16:49:29+00:00

Social isolation due to singleness only happens if your partner is your entire social life

LostOnLostIsland · 2023-09-18T19:12:23+00:00

Reading the back and forth between men and women here perfectly exemplifies how pointless these discussions are. It seems men and women have completely diffrent perceptions of reality and will likely never come to a reasonable consensus. Its just a shouting match at this point:

"No, light is a particle." "NO! light is a wave!"

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-09-18T14:47:24+00:00

You’re speaking on the experience of women because you are a woman right?

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-09-18T14:44:31+00:00

Another day, another post about how good women have it because they can get sex at any time as long as they don't care about actually enjoying it.

If you think that's really so great, then you can sign up for Grindr and you'll have so many options you'll be beating them off with both hands.

Radiant_Reply5612 · 2023-09-18T18:01:52+00:00

Not really, i know plenty of single women who don’t even have sex lol. I was one myself until 25 and was still fulfilled in life. My family and friends are what sustains me emotionally and mentally. Some women aren’t into casual sex and can still remain happy single. Plenty of women aren’t on dating apps.

Exciting_Phase_1665 · 2023-09-18T18:11:23+00:00

Situationships are unfulfilling I will only be intimately involved with a man if we are in a relationship, I only date for serious commitment. Otherwise I’m ok being single

Ashido_Komaki · 2023-09-19T14:24:31+00:00

This is facts but the tru meaning of single is you're solo solo but the brotherhood knows how modern day women operate.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-09-18T14:49:17+00:00

Women are more likely to say they're in a relationship than men in the same circumstances. When they say single they mean single, men often just mean fucking about.

purplish_possum · 2023-09-18T14:22:18+00:00

Reminds me of one of my favorite Brit Pop songs. Common People by Pulp.

...

But still you'll never get it right
'Cause when you're laid in bed at night
Watching roaches climb the wall
If you called your dad he could stop it all, yeah

You'll never live like common people
You'll never do whatever common people do
You'll never fail like common people
You'll never watch your life slide out of view
And you dance and drink and screw
Because there's nothing else to do

...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuTMWgOduFM

SpaceSire · 2023-09-18T15:43:27+00:00

Lol, why do you think this is different for one gender? There are plenty of guys with situationship and plenty of women who are lonely and single.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2023-09-18T18:22:36+00:00

I'm a woman and I'm single and celibate. I've NEVER had casual sex. When I'm single, I'm truly ALONE. No, I don't have FWB, I don't have casual sex, I don't have many dates. I'm alone, for years. I have just family and friends (without "benefits").

I'm single because I can't find a spark with anyone (and I gave up trying, no I don't have dates). I'm not happy single. But still better than settle.

AnonPinkLady · 2023-09-18T21:05:37+00:00

Idk even when I was single and living with a beloved pet and roommates I consider my dear friends and going on dates... I was very unhappy. The guys I met just wanted to hook up and hardly treated me as human which just contributed to my terrible self esteem and the belief that I am simply unlovable.

Cat_Lover259 · 2023-09-18T15:57:51+00:00

You all seriously need to get off this sub. This kind of thinking is so terrible.

JadeGrapes · 2023-09-18T22:14:31+00:00

and... #4 people who are private and just don't feel like they are obligated to titillate others with an explanation about their sex life.

"If I'm not boning you, how is it your business?"

Head-Language-2977 · 2023-09-19T01:25:52+00:00

To be fair to women this does make sense. At least 95% of them have the ability to be uncommitted AND sexually active at the same time, so relationship status and sex status are separate for them. This doesn’t intuitively make sense to men because 95% of us will never have that option. A better (but not reasonable) question for women would be if they would be happier sexless long-term or in a relationship.

itsokiloveu · 2023-09-18T16:55:10+00:00

Not me. I’m 24, quite pretty and I have 0 situationships, no dates lined up, and no friends with benefits.

I don’t use dating apps like tinder at all, and neither do many of my female friends.

Not sure where men got the idea that we have a revolving door of men constantly coming in and out of our lives at all times. The last time I had sex was a month ago with a guy I met in Europe and then 3-4 months before him. We don’t just sleep with people constantly lmao

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2023-09-18T20:50:12+00:00

I know women in their 50s and 60s who are happily single who don't ever even go on dates, have dating apps, social media or who don't often go to bars. How'd you explain that?

Observer_7578 · 2023-09-18T22:53:53+00:00

Drove a cab for 3 years, so I do have some insight. What I will say from what ive seen and experienced objectively is that when a man says he's single, that also generally means he is celibate, with maybe an occasional hook up/FWB. When a woman says she's single, it means she is not exclusive, meaning said woman typically has more than 1 sexual partner at a time. Ive seen this behavior way to many times to be told otherwise. Also, not shaming females for being promiscuous; just pointing out the double standards of men being called various insults for desiring sex, when its the females who actually indulge in the promiscuous/player lifestyle.

Sillysheila · 2023-09-19T00:02:35+00:00

Even if they have FWBs or casual sex, or they have friends/dogs then they are still single. Words mean things, single means not in committed relationship.

While I feel bad for lonely single men on one hand, if they refuse to even have a dog or friendships during this time, of course they’re more unhappy than single women.

When you’re single, connections are important. You need to not rely on having a partner or having a date magically walk into your life and bettering your social life. It’s best to not rely on partners even if you have them for your social life. Everyone in an LTR that’s been going for a looong time (9 years in my case) knows this.

Men don’t do this but it’s dumb that they don’t. They need to start hanging out more with each other when they’re single. Being single doesn’t make you a bad person or such a horrible pariah of society that you don’t deserve friends. Be kinder to yourselves.

ViolentMagician1 · 2023-09-18T15:55:28+00:00

Facts. These women who say "we can go years being single therefore we're more resilient than men" should try saying that when they have no romantic or sexual options at all. It's easy to say when they get pumped and dumped by Chad every now and then and have their male co-workers simping for them and acting like boyfriends. A single man typically has no one night stand options and his female co workers likely ignore him. He's truly alone.

KamuiObito · 2023-09-18T17:05:20+00:00

Women I general think like trust fund kids..

HamzaAghaEfukt · 2023-09-19T00:12:06+00:00

Being single means totally different thing to women. They still actively date, have hookups, flings, fuck buddies, get validation from male friends and orbiters, etc. They truly experience life differently. Their dating struggles begin where our dreams end

DeepHouseDJ007 · 2023-09-18T18:58:51+00:00

Me and my other happily single guy friends have pretty much the exact same life you described in your post so it’s definitely not just women.

operapeach · 2023-09-18T20:55:09+00:00

So untrue. I love being single. When I say I’m single I’m not entertaining anyone.

y2kjanelle · 2023-09-18T21:36:06+00:00

for sure having more attn and being able to have some kind of dating/romantic life while single is great and makes it less hard or lonely to be single.

but statistically and psychologically, a bunch of male attn (which in a lot of cases is negative and result in negative experiences between men and women, it’s not always compliments men HAVE to acknowledge this every time they bring this up), isn’t rly the reason why women are happier single.

women tend to have stronger friendships that are emotionally fulfilling. men don’t value friendships AS much and tend to find friends mainly based on shared interest and not emotional connection or compatibility.

and I know so many men who actually talk about this a lot. my bf always says he doesn’t get emotional with his friends. girlfriends and wives tend to be the main and a lot of times the sole emotional support person for men. so when men don’t have that, they can lack emotional support in general/at all.

if a woman breaks up with a guy or gets broken up with or cheated on, she has her friends right there ready with a shoulder to cry on. women are closer to their family members and significant people in their lives.

I wrote a paper about this actually. It’s rly sad to me that men don’t have these same emotional support systems that women do. We’re always made fun of for going to the bathroom together and protecting each other while not knowing each other (protect all women but not necessarily support all women type beat). We’re made fun of for boosting each other up and being nice to each other and complimenting each other.

But there’s something about that that’s really warm. To go into the bathroom and there’s girls complimenting you and cheering for you and dancing with you. We just enjoy each others presence.

I’ve had multiple instances of girls keeping an eye out for me and not even knowing me. Seeing me struggle to reject a guy who keeps touching me (this has happened several DOZEN times) and pulling me away or telling me to join them or guiding me to the other side of the group. Some of these women I didn’t even know their names.

Women have given me rly thoughtful gifts. They do kind things without me asking or just because they thought of me. Women have complimented me even when I don’t look my best just to be kind.

And sure women can be fake asf and petty and bitchy and whatever insult men love to use against us. But I can’t say at all that I would trade it for something else.

And sure some older women may be jealous or mean or judgy. But they’re also wise and kind and looking out all the time and treating me like a younger sister or daughter.

Like it’s just this unique experience that I don’t think many men can relate to at all. Lowkey sad asf. I’m sure men have their own cool things in their friendships but there is a certain warmth to women and our friendships that is a bit different.

TransitionStrong5123 · 2023-09-18T21:53:15+00:00

The men on here remind me why I choose to be single. I’d rather be single than repeatedly get my hopes up while wading through the remaining dregs.

NationalistGoy · 2023-09-18T21:56:50+00:00

If there is something I have learnt from women is, they are never alone, there is always a simp in their DMs, they may even be unhappy with their suitors, but they at least can talk to them, they are never completely alone.

Yomzie_hun · 2023-09-19T07:11:21+00:00

Bitter much?

Big-Stuff3435 · 2023-09-19T09:43:57+00:00

And don't forget all the free meals and drinks they get as well

fixy308 · 2023-09-19T11:24:53+00:00

Hate to break this to you but the same applies for 90% of guys.

SameNotice4306 · 2023-09-19T15:18:40+00:00

Not true. I don’t do FWBs or situationships. Ever. I’m either in a serious committed exclusive relationship or a blissfully happy nun.

Stop applying your sexuality to all women. Many women are completely celibate for years on end. Those types of women tend not to scream it from the rooftops because the sexually dehydrated men and other equally thirsty women who are constantly advertising how much hornier they are then men, canNOT believe that unlike themselves, some people out there have complete control over their primal urges.

MateriallyDetatched · 2023-09-18T15:24:11+00:00

As a woman, I have zero issues attracting and entertaining men.

Despite what all the Incels™ are saying, I still have dating options at 35 years old. I've slept with 286 men and am a single mom with probably 3-4 different baby daddies. I don't have time to waste on mysogynistic men who care about any of that since they're just insecure little boys (unless he makes over $450k a year then he's allowed to be sexist.)

Being a brave single mom and raising fatherless, effeminate children means I get subsidized from the government (the entity that makes resources appear out of thin air)!

The reason that you get no bitches is because you're a gross creep that is a threat to women's comfort. Have you tried respecting women more? That'll solve all your dating problems, Incel™.

HBC3 · 2023-09-18T16:41:59+00:00

Spot on

KamuiObito · 2023-09-18T17:03:24+00:00

Ong they just dating other women’s husbands/bfs and going about their day .

MistyMaisel · 2023-09-18T18:42:32+00:00

I promise you when I said I was single and happy, there were no situationships or fwb. I also wasn't dating or on tinder or any other dating websites. I cannot, of course, being a woman enjoy total invisibility because men come a calling whether you want it or not, but I was as close as any woman can get.

And yes, I was happy. And no, I did not know I could find the love of my life which is what I wanted because I'd tried some relationships and dating and it wasn't working out and I was beginning to think the problem may be me. And I was ok if that was the case because it felt like if that's not possible, then I don't have to seek it and can give my attention to the other things in life that give joy, peace, and harmony. And I was pouring myself into those things and very happy when I met my man.

Yes, I do think women often are happier single. It often feels like freedom from the tyranny of romance, sex, dating, and seeking a partner to just be single and enjoy yourself, your friendships, your family, and your life.

I'm not convinced most men can understand this because I don't think romance, sex, dating, and seeking a partner torment them in the same way it torments women (not to say y'all don't have your share of torment).

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-09-18T20:14:10+00:00

Single doesn’t equal lonely. Single just means you’re not in a committed relationship.

crushmynutsplz · 2023-09-18T15:17:36+00:00

Anyone who's actually alone and claiming to be happy is lying to themselves, or they're some kind of psychopath. Humans are tribal creatures, we need to live in communities with strong connections.

The truth is that most women are never alone. Women have support networks of other women, and they go through life with immense privilege due to all the societal advantages and the "women are wonderful" effect which is baked into everything.

Women who are truly alone are miserable. There's a reason why the loneliest, most miserable jobs are dominated by men, because we as a society have no problem shipping men off to die of misery and loneliness.

Title	Women are happier "single" because they're aren't really single at all
Author	Napo_De_Leone
Upvotes	644
Comments	497
Date	September 18, 2023 2:04 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16lwgqh/women_are_happier_single_because_theyre_arent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-are-happier-single-because-theyre-arent.1232211 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232211

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