During a discussion on dating in another subreddit last year, multiple men were telling me that they couldn't develop an emotional investment in a woman without first having sex with her and that sex was part of the determination process to see what kind of partner she would be. Basically saying that they didn't want to commit without having sex first, and that if a woman they were dating wanted to wait until commitment to have sex they would leave. My question then was, where does this leave the woman if you then decide you don't want to commit to her after having sex with her? If she does this every time she's dating a guy, she'll rack up a "high" n-count pretty quickly (I used 10 as an example although I know that's not really that high for a promiscuous person). Then guys won't see her as relationship material because she's had too many sexual partners. OR, she "witholds sex" (as people on TRP so grossly put it) and you get mad because "if she were really attracted to me she would be jumping my bones on the first date!" So basically, she can't win unless you decide to commit to her after sex, which is completely out of her control.

Why do you think women "withold sex" before a relationship is established? For fun? To punish you? No. Newsflash: women like (good) sex too. It's partially because so many men suck in bed and don't care about their partner's pleasure (especially if said man is a stranger), and partially because women are considered "sluts" and "not marriage material" if they have sex with too many men. Obviously women are going to hold off on sex if they want a relationship in order to abide by the rules that men created, and then y'all scream "she's leading me on! she's using me as a beta bux because I paid for dinner at Applebee's once and didn't get my dick sucked! I bet she wouldn't make me wait if I were CHAD!" When you wouldn't get sex on the first date from a virgin/low n-count woman who was looking for a relationship (there are virgins who specifically want to lose their virginity and aren't looking for a relationship, I'm not talking about them) even if you were a male model. You expect a virgin/low n-count woman to disregard conventionally held wisdom and have sex with you, which might not even be pleasurable for her, only for you to turn around and devalue her later. No woman with any common sense is going to do that.

Guess who's going to have sex with you within 3 dates? A woman who is willing to have sex with guys within 3 dates. Either date a virgin/low n-count woman and accept that you will have to wait for sex until a relationship is established, or date a woman who's willing to have sex early and accept that she's probably done the same with other men. You cannot have both.