What’s your dating advice to the guys on here who can’t get success with women?

New_Relative_8709 · 2022-07-08T14:56:18+00:00

Get off this subreddit

Raileyx · 2022-07-08T14:47:06+00:00

for the love of god, get off this subreddit. The advice on here is AWFUL and if you listen to it too much you will absolutely end up in a self-defeating cycle that will ruin your chances of ever being with someone for a long time. Get out while you can
interact more with real people irl, go to social gatherings, get to networking
put work into your physical appearance, get a haircut, change your wardrobe etc.
be genuinely interested in other people and treat women like you treat everyone else

No_Fan6078 · 2022-07-08T15:20:58+00:00

I always was shy and those things, I got a job as a mailman when I was 16 I worked there for about 2 years I have to talk, interact and share things with strangers everyday, that help me a lot because I was forced to speak with a lot of people including so beautiful ladys. I think that the best way is not left us to overthink about how attractive someone is, is just speak with them like normal people and try to generate a connection at first, then with a little more trust you can flirt with them easier without be a creep.

kjk67895 · 2022-07-08T17:39:26+00:00

Don’t listen to a god damn thing this sub says LMAO

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-07-08T14:20:06+00:00

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pop442 · 2022-07-08T16:12:18+00:00

-If you're obese or shrimpy looking, work out and build more muscle

-If you're flat broke, work towards getting a better paying job even if it requires sacrifice or putting off dating for a while

-If you're short or have a below average face, compensate by getting a skin care routine, working out, grooming, and getting a good wardrobe

-If you're shy, try working on your social skills and ice breakers with your close friends/family/coworkers until you become more natural with it to the degree that it becomes easier with women you don't know. Also, be willing to actually go places and not be glued to the Internet or your house.

-If you can't get matches online, try joining a social club or getting involved in more social events where you can meet people in person

-If your dick is small, compensate by focusing on foreplay and using your hands and tongue as much as possible

-If you have a low self esteem, focus on your most positive qualities and do something that enhances those qualities to the extent that your weaknesses will hold less weight

Mind you, none of this guarantees success but it greatly boosts your chances as opposed to succumbing to Black Pill ideaology and just throwing in the towel.

Slight_Fig5187 · 2022-07-08T15:35:16+00:00

Don't obsess too much about looks, fitness, etc. You don't need going to the gym constantly to get women to like you. That's mostly a male fantasy.
But do put a bit of attention on how you dress, your hair, your hygiene. Without obsessing
Try to acquire a certain level of confidence talking to women by interacting with them outside the dating scene too. Don't see women as the enemy, they're just human beings like yourself
If you're using apps, be respectful when you write, don't make unwanted sexual advances, don't send dick pics, mind your spelling and grammar. Try to post acceptable pics of yourself in your profile and a bio that makes sense. Get a woman friend or relative to check it.
During dates, be respectful, listen, don't stare at body parts, don't go into too controversial topics, keep eye contact.
In bed, try to find out how she likes things, be generous, don't rush, use protection!!!
And accept that things might go wrong for any reason and don't convert any possible failure into rage against women in general

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-07-08T15:44:38+00:00

Actually hit on girls lol. You ask dudes when was the last time you hit on a girl? How many girls have you tried to talk to this year and it’s crickets. Do you put yourself in environments with single women?

ohheyhi99 · 2022-07-08T16:26:08+00:00

Dating is easier with women who are very physically attracted to you, and women who are near or below your attractiveness level are the most likely to be physically attracted to you.

ruboyuri · 2022-07-08T14:44:01+00:00

And again

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vt7epi/what_would_your_recommended_course_of_action_be/

NaturalQueer · 2022-07-08T18:31:14+00:00

As hard as this might sound, become happier being alone, go out make friends and deep connection outside of the idea of a relationship. Now this may not get you a girl outright but something it can help with is reducing the pressure in finding a partner. If you can be happy with and get value out of platonic and familial relationships you overall will be happier but also when you go out to meet women you will be able to walk away when a relationship isn’t going to work out, you won’t feel like the other person holds all the power, which can reduce stress and anxiety. A side effect of this can be a much more chill attitude which can be really attractive to a lot of women, plus a general happiness that can attract people to you.

The second thing is to practice and learn emotional intelligence and maturity, this will greatly help in understanding potential partners and yourself better, leading happier more healthy relationships.

Last while I don’t believe the whole you have to love yourself before you can love other people thing but I do think that starting the process to like/love yourself can bring very positive things to relationships, and your life in general.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-07-08T16:19:57+00:00

stop reading shit online and start going out and doing shit. Be social, ask women. Fail. Learn. Try again. Make friends. Go live life in the real world!

swaggyquack · 2022-07-08T16:02:05+00:00

Obviously look your best, workout, clothes, haircuts, etc. ask women for advice.

Befriend more women platonically first. Get on with them as friends first. It makes hitting on women easier plus you might inevitably meet more women by having women friends in your circle.

Try to be fun, people like fun people… just don’t be cringe.

Perseus_the_Bold · 2022-07-08T18:54:30+00:00

My advice is to stop obsessing over women. The misery of these men lies in their unattainable fixation on something in which exists more in their imagination than in reality. The women they chase are an illusion. Figments of their gynocentric addled imaginations.

Revolutionary! I know.

Telling men that the option to opt-out of women is always on the table. Like telling a drug addict that it is possible to just quit the drug.

So guys, if you are struggling to get women have any of you ever just stopped, I mean really stopped to think: "What am I doing? Why do I want women so bad? When did women gain a monopoly on my happiness and goals in life?"

So my advice is to do a little introspection. Realize that it is the desire for women that is making you miserable. Where does this desire come from? Was it always there? When did this become the focus of my life; and can I reverse it or just get rid of it so I won't be so miserable chasing after an addiction?

TastyCucurbits · 2022-07-08T14:58:21+00:00

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hdksndiisn · 2022-07-08T16:51:29+00:00

I’ve been in every situation, high and low, from barefoot and homeless to traveling the world with near unlimited funds and back to barefoot and homeless again. From drunk at 7am to managing 50 employees at 7am. And I’ve had women in each and every stage (minus hermetic monk-mode, which makes sense). Here you go:

Always be working towards something. Even if that is just going to the gym every day, do it.
Practice. Everything requires practice and patience.
Move at your own pace, this is your life, direct it.
Be sociable. Learn to communicate clearly and respectfully, honestly, and with joy.
Find a passion. Try everything until something consumes your every waking thought, and then do that thing you love as often as you can.
Do not get caught up on one woman. This is probably the most difficult. If you get dumped and are depressed don’t go out and fuck a bunch of drunk hoes, take time, as long as you need, to truly process what happened and what went wrong.
Learn from your mistakes and don’t repeat them.
When it comes to [life &] women: HAVE FUN. This is all most women really want. Doesn’t matter if you can only afford Steel Reserve or you’re sitting VIP in the club, if you’re not having a good time, why the fuck would she want to be around you?
again: Learn to enjoy life
Job: have a job that takes care of what you need. Bonus points of course if you make more money than you need. Most important is you can afford the lifestyle you want to live.
One good woman is better than ten bad women. Think about that, and ask yourself what you want. If you just want to fuck as many women as possible you simply need to have an interesting aesthetic and fun personality - which 30 years and younger could simply mean you’re a frequent flier in the party scene (get drunk every night and you’re bound to find women to fuck). Every city has its dive bar hipster venues. Get into weird music, buy cocaine, drink a lot, and socialize a lot, and you’ll get laid a lot.
dating apps only work if you can accurately portray yourself via text & photos - this is why it’s important to work out, one shirtless photo of you with a six pack (of abs) can be the difference between 100 matches and 0. If you’re young just avoid dating apps and GO OUTSIDE and meet people IRL.

To summarize (27 and younger): - find a passion/hobby - go outside as often as possible - be fun by having fun - work out - if you just wanna get laid - party - have money that supports your desired lifestyle (see: job title isn’t important, only being able to do what you want to do matters) - develop a unique aesthetic (hair, tattoos, clothes)
- be social

Super summary: enjoy your life and others will want to enjoy it with you.

wtknight · 2022-07-08T14:38:35+00:00

I think that getting fit (not necessarily muscular) and developing interesting hobbies for conversation topics are he most important things. An average looking guy can attract an average looking woman by having what she considers a fun or interesting personality. Women aren’t as looks focused as men, because most of them know that they can’t attract the best looking men for more than just sex.

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2022-07-08T16:03:31+00:00

Talk to more women

leothelion634 · 2022-07-08T15:36:05+00:00

Say yes to every social event you possibly can

2022-07-08T17:56:25+00:00

Do the work. For decades. Status and attractiveness and fitness take years.

You won't be Chad in your teens, you probably won't be Chad in your 20's, but you might become someone in your 30's and 40's.

Are you impatient and unhappy? Tough shit, kid, we all go through that.

EatingVowels · 2022-07-08T18:21:07+00:00

If you wanna fuck - tell her. Don’t play the long game trying to wife her, be honest with your intentions from the start. Believe it or not, but there are plenty of girls out there who wants to fuck too.

Your everyday girl has a hundred thirsty guys in her DMs who are everything but honest with her, so shock her by telling the truth. Worst case you get a no, best case you get laid and move up the queue.

la_revolte · 2022-07-08T18:32:13+00:00

Focus on getting friendships first. Often men who struggle with dating struggle with socialization in general. Having more friendships allows you to see more perspectives and see women as people, not a second species. Also friends have female friends who you could potentially date in future.

2022-07-08T19:18:20+00:00

Aside from getting off this subreddit. Get a cat or learn to love cats. 90% of women find men with cats more attractive.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-07-09T04:32:27+00:00

It may sound strange, but if his problem is primarily looks he should talk to Incels. Incels have in depth knowledge of dieting, cosmetics, surgeries, anatomy and other superficial-aesthetic, because they are unhealthily obsessed with it, they've gain extensive knowledge that many non-incels do not possess. Many of them speak to doctors, plastic surgeons, and do tremendous research as well as undergone some of the procedures and had good results. If you have hideous bird beak of a nose, why not just go get a rhinoplasty. It hurts nothing and elevates you from "repulsive," to "tolerable", and increases your chances of being attractive to the opposite sex at the bare minimum level. There is no shame in getting a surgery to fix your absolutely fucked face if it is holding you back. People do this all the time.

If being extremely ugly isn't his problem, he can literally talk to any man successful with (the type) of women he wants.

toasterchild · 2022-07-08T14:36:44+00:00

Stop thinking of women like possessions you acquire. Work on seeing them as actual people who have value that you can form mutually beneficial relationships with. What about your life is interesting that you can use to connect with people?

Catherine772023 · 2022-07-08T15:20:54+00:00

Make a bunch of female friends and practice treating them normally so you dont scare off a girl you like by simping too much. Simping or trying to flirt or impress a girl right away when you meet them puts a lot of pressure on her and she will probably just decide shes not interested instead of giving it time to get to know you.

TLDR: just be friends first

Zavier221 · 2022-07-08T16:41:58+00:00

Get off the internet and go hang out where there are IRL human beings present. Make friends and have fun.

h1shman · 2022-07-08T14:38:37+00:00

Looksmaxx with a huge importance on going to the gym and building a powerful and aesthetic physique. This has 1000 other advantages and you should go to the gym regardless.

Get used to taking lots of pictures as OLD generates a lot of leads. It helps if you have a friend with the same goal. You’ll just whip out your phone snap a dozen pics in 30 seconds and usually one will be decent. You can usually get a solid number of really good pics over a couple weekends if you take a vacation. Watch videos on what pictures women like.

wrathofkalima · 2022-07-08T14:57:07+00:00

I’m a woman so my opinion might not matter much but here goes:

Get in the gym. A toned body and broad shoulders does wonders for attractiveness.
Make sure your hygiene, fashion sense and hairstyle is on point.
If you’re pedantic, cynical, passive aggressive, unconfident, judgemental, misogynistic and generally hard to be around, you’re not going to get anywhere. Women love men who are playful, fun to be around, confident, relaxed, open minded and good conversationalists.

Of course people will say just be tall and good looking but most men are average and they can still find someone. Most of the men I’ve dated won me over by personality.

feminologie_ · 2022-07-08T15:02:48+00:00

Don't make women into your life's purpose. Don't put them on a pedestal (no over the top simping just because a girl is mildly cute, respect yourself). But at the same time, don't become bitter and resent women deep down inside. We can tell if you're desperate or bitter and neither are attractive. Be selective about the women you approach. Be willing to walk away from a woman if she crosses your boundaries. These are all attributes of men that women respect. Gaining a woman's respect is half of the equation.

The other main ingredient for female sexual attraction is emotional stimulation. You have to make her FEEL something. Ideally something positive. The feeling part is related to how emotionally healthy the woman is. If she has trauma, she will respond more to negative feelings (this is why PUA tactics work on some girls). If she is secure and emotionally healthy, she will respond more to positive feelings. For example, an emotionally healthy girl would swoon if you remembered little things about her or went out of your way to make her feel comfortable. She feels loved when you show her that you care.

Sadly some guys can be kind and attentive but are not respectable because they have no backbone and they let their girl walk all over them. Or they are masculine but simultaneously a POS who treats the girl like garbage and she loses attraction for him. You have to be peaceful, not harmless. You have to choose her because you want her, not because you are desperate and you need her. You have to be empathetic enough to show her your love in ways that she is receptive to. Balance is key my guys. Balance.

jackedsoon · 2022-07-08T15:01:54+00:00

i guarantee they've already heard it all before and if they wanted it badly theyd do it.

Bikerbats · 2022-07-08T18:18:21+00:00

I can guarantee that this advice works 100% of the time. Find a place to hang out, like a bar or a club. Become a regular, be the guy that everyone knows. You'll find someone(s).

Yummylicky23 · 2022-07-08T14:43:18+00:00

dont waste your time

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throwaway164_3 · 2022-07-08T16:37:24+00:00

What worked for me was the redpill advice.

Specifically, lifting and getting fitter, learning to agree and amplify when flirting, not being friends with women you’re attracted to, and being very forward and escalating (being touchy/feely and pushing for sex early).l, not taking rejections personally, etc.

I agree parts of TRP is morally insane, but you can’t deny it’s effectiveness in improving your success with women.

athlete2biz · 2022-07-08T16:38:48+00:00

besides all the obvious ones.

I would say having a solid group of guy friends who are loyal and who have your back is key. Bonus point is they are extroverted or "chads". having guy friends gives you a shit ton of confidence and helps get you out there, and go places, you can also learn alot from them.

from alot of comments ive read in this subreddit this is something alot of guys on here are lacking

2022-07-08T18:35:50+00:00

Never copy, or compare yourself with, other men. Pretending to be someone else is the best way to NOT find your best match. Don't lie about it minimize your interests or hobbies on dates. Neither should ANYONE give up something you love to do, just because your love interest doesn't like something it. That's a BIG red flag.

Why pretend? What can come from it, but bitterness and unhappiness? Women constantly say to "take me as I am". That door swings both ways.

tkoubek · 2022-07-08T19:31:31+00:00

Why men still have to do all the hard work? Aren't we living in a post patriarchal era where being men or women are just social constructs?

Then why men still have to do the first move?

Only very few times women had approached me first.

Just asking questions.

rhumel · 2022-07-08T20:22:43+00:00

Do not follow any advice in here. It’s cool for debate and discussion, although very very toxic, but not helpful on an individual level.

You have to work around your own weak and strong points and find ways to be attractive to women: that’s not part of a meta debate.

Sure some “just lift bro” are generally helpful, but it would be way better suited to just talk to female friends, male friends, etc. just asking them to be honest on what’s bad and what’s good about you and work on that.

Furthermore a very good portion of women here seem really wicked, only caring about themselves and not giving a shit about yours or any man Happiness, they even seem to rejoice on the fact that some men are failing to get love, which is awful: those women are not a reflect of what women irl are.

As much as there’s an over representation of resentful men in here, there’s an over representation of resentful women in here.

Resented men tend to be the ones failing in the dating market who end up hating women and resented women I cannot get a grasp on why they’re there, it seems to be various reasons, but they all have in common that they don’t give a fuck about men or outright hate them, just that it’s kind of “you suffering? Good, I enjoy that” instead of violent speech.

Again, the important thing is they’re over represented so when you read them around here it just gets your own toxicity up in vain.

hotpinkpurple · 2022-07-08T20:51:13+00:00

Drop your expectations and just meet people where they’re at, be your natural self and find the humanness in others that you can relate to. Just keep it simple and have fun. Be present and in the moment, allowing things to unfold naturally.

As far as working on yourself to improve, I do find the “become the person you would want to date” concept to be true.

fundsoverbuns2x · 2022-07-08T21:06:11+00:00

listen to a woman’s advice on dating and then do the opposite

ElbowStrike · 2022-07-08T21:46:19+00:00

Deliberately become more and more physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy.

Also if you work out focus on improving your v-taper (ie; lats and delts), shoulder-to-waist ratio (the higher the better), and waist-to-hip ratio (the closer to 0.9 the better).

mayoissandwichpus · 2022-07-08T22:17:13+00:00

Feminine women like masculine men. They don’t like feminine men. Go to the gym, ride a motorcycle, be about your career, be decisive about your life’s direction. It’s stressful for a woman to feel like she’s coaching you on how to be a man.

bison5595 · 2022-07-08T23:26:30+00:00

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HazyMemory7 · 2022-07-08T23:30:07+00:00

Read trp. Lift weights. Strive to be successful in your career. Upgrade your wardrobe and get a haircut that suits you. Put yourself in uncomfortable situations to improve your social skills. Try to talk to women and subsequently learn from your experiences.

And most importantly, adopt an outcome independent mindset. Girl ghosts? Who cares. Date didn't go well? Who cares. Someone unmatched you? Who cares. Family and your purpose are your priorities.

DplusLplusKplusM · 2022-07-09T00:55:33+00:00

Most guys who complain about this have been discouraged because they've heard "no" a lot. So start by developing the emotional IQ to know when someone's not interested. It won't help you get dates but it will save you from so many rejections. Once you've learned how to recognize the difference between a woman just being friendly and a woman who wants to date you you'll be better able to focus on the latter category. Go for quality over quantity and you'll feel better about yourself in the end. Good luck.

LotBuilder · 2022-07-09T02:06:58+00:00

Be better. Maximize your looks, style and status. If you have no made every effort to maximize your current situation then you should stop complaining and focus on improving yourself.

RealAmericanWeasel · 2022-07-08T15:23:53+00:00

As a guy who struggles to get women (to acknowledge my existence), my advice would be not to worry too much about yourself as a guy. They will either like you or they won’t and there is not much you’ll be able to do about it either way.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-07-08T16:17:47+00:00

Castration max.
It's the new thing.

2022-07-08T18:11:10+00:00

This is a step to step guide on how to improve your love life, written by yours truly. You don’t skip steps, so read from 1-4.

1) Looksmax, looksmax, looksmax. If you are a fat piece of shit and complaining, then you are volcel. If you are a subhuman then make a lot of money and get face surgery. There really isn’t two ways about it.

2) Numb yourself to rejection. If you genuinely care for the opinion of the women that reject you then I feel bad for you you. Stop it. If you as a grown man still have a crush then I pity you. Stop it. You won’t ever get anywhere if you hold women to a high standard. They are just as retarded as men, if not more.

3) NT-maxx and become highly sociable, extroverted, and outgoing. Women are boring people, so they look to their man for excitement. If you are the life of the party wherever you go then women will always flock towards you. They innately look for excitement.

4) know your self worth. This one I see a lot of my peers struggling with. Pussy isn’t everything, so don’t be pussywhipped for 10 minutes of pleasure. If you go on a date with someone and you aren’t vibing with her in anyway, don’t stay for stayings sake. Just bounce.

crispickle · 2022-07-08T14:58:00+00:00

Looksmax
Go to bars/clubs and talk to random women

If you still get rejected and humiliated constantly then it's over for you and you're better off giving up dating and going mgtow till the bitter end.

ploppercan2 · 2022-07-08T15:19:03+00:00

Get a haircut, take a shower, and read books written by women.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-07-08T15:45:41+00:00

Andrew Tate
Coach Greg Adams
Eat more Zinc

caption291 · 2022-07-08T15:59:03+00:00

I would recommend that they stop trying to improve themselves and instead focus on becoming whatever morally disgusts them. That should increase their chances with women.

You're not playing a game where the goal is to figure out how to be as moral as you can, you're playing a game where the goal is to impress women and women really don't give a shit about stuff that doesn't benefit them directly.

Catherine772023 · 2022-07-08T19:01:38+00:00

I’m a woman and I want to say it’s not wrong for women to not want someone they’re not physically attracted to.

Go to the gym, have style, dress well and be hygienic. There’s men’s facials from beauticians.

LittleBitSchizo · 2022-07-08T21:26:16+00:00

Stop thinking about numbers, statistics and all that red pill bullshit that fills up this sub. Work on your charisma and confidence, and on your looks too. In that order, charisma is actually more important than confidence, and it comes with just talking with women. Your game will improve 100% but you have to get off these forums and meet real people.

2022-07-08T14:41:25+00:00

It’s truly healthy to focus on self acceptance and development and not on obsessing over dating/sex. Women want a partner who is happy, healthy and mature, not one that still holds toxic views about themselves and the world around them and clings to a relationship as an end all be all.

AntiSocialPartygoer · 2022-07-08T14:51:32+00:00

Start by doing the basics:
Use condoms, eat pussy, don't be obese, have basic grooming skills, have basic hygiene,
know how to carry a conversation and... be a genuinely good person.
Not someone is only nice to people who have something to offer.

The bar for men is low, and it's totally okay to take advantage of that.

proof_of_vlaze · 2022-07-08T15:35:18+00:00

any work you do on yourself, redpill or otherwise, will help you get where you want.

I'd also like to say that talking to women platonically does not equal being friends with them. "Being friends" with girls first does nothing for you and is probably what leads a lot of guys to go to places like the red pill.

_Oh_Be_Nice_ · 2022-07-08T23:42:53+00:00

Here are attractive gender-neutral traits of a quality person:

Relatively easy going
Reasonable life-goals
Has a deep sense of humor
Doesn't treat people expendably
Fiscally literate and responsible with money
Athletic
Hygienic
Self-aware
Exhibits all or most of these attributes consistently throughout life

Here are some general pro-tips for dating to find said quality person:

Don't smell
Don't be "rapey" (desperate/creepy/needy/etc.)
Hit the gym
Have some cash (enough to cover your own ass)
Ya gotta bring the funny

2022-07-08T14:33:29+00:00

I guess my first question would be what does " getting" a woman mean to them? How do they define success?

SteveSan82 · 2022-07-08T15:37:49+00:00

Read The Rational Male. Join a gym, fix your diet, stop dressing like a slob. Learn game

KaleidoscopeEyes12 · 2022-07-08T16:12:05+00:00

Stop listening to all the people on here who have “theories” about women’s behavior. Instead, just treat women like people. Don’t generalize them all. Treat each woman like she’s her own, separate person, just like you would a man.

They have hobbies just like you (and they aren’t all just “mind numbing” hobbies, some of them are the same as yours). Even if the hobbies aren’t the same as yours, maybe stop being so stuck up and listen, you might actually have fun instead of being so serious all the time.

If you don’t want to listen to your female friends talk about their problems, set that boundaries. Literally just say “I’m sorry you’re having a hard time, but I just don’t think I’m the right person for this. If distracting yourself would help, I’d be willing to watch a TV show with you or something.” Then just make some popcorn and put on a show, or even a documentary, movie, or sports game.

This advice doesn’t guarantee you will get a girlfriend. But it might, and it will definitely bring you much closer to that point.

Shebalied · 2022-07-08T17:33:11+00:00

Disregard Females, Acquire Currency

WYenginerdWY · 2022-07-08T19:56:56+00:00

If you're here and male and having trouble dating, your very necessary step 1 is - learn to see women as people.

users84 · 2022-07-08T20:32:28+00:00

Literally just view women as people

GlowingAsItDazzles · 2022-07-08T14:55:15+00:00

uh, the red pill

LUCKYMAZE · 2022-07-08T15:53:52+00:00

If you’re good looking women will come to you, that’s the sad truth.

sarkington · 2022-07-08T15:18:03+00:00

We just had a post on this

AndrewPotato34 · 2022-07-08T15:35:37+00:00

Hello, Sadly i tried a lot and what goes on the internet and reddit and even this subreddit is real life, like really. If you're ugly facially and don't have social skills believe me when i say it's over and i'm sorry. You can go to therapy 10 years no one cares if you make 1 mistake women will take everything away from you there goes months and months of work on social skills and talking to women what a joke...

Now let's be real: as long as you don't have malignant deformity as it says in medical journals or books you are not ugly - but because of the USA and social media women think a lot of men are ugly now which is false.

I am normal looking, even a bit beautiful because i learned i have that strong chin but i'm V so i guess there goes the stupid jawline and chin theory fucking stupid shit. But that's not enough so i don't have 50 to 100K $ for plastic surgery and even if i had i wouldn't do plastic surgery that's too much, i should have been ok to a majority of women but feminism and social media said i was ugly so i lost everything

flattenthecurv3 · 2022-07-08T16:41:10+00:00

Get jacked, sun your balls, have money = immediate success

Karmanger · 2022-07-08T21:54:48+00:00

For those who care, learn how to be charismatic.

With charisma you get the benefit of the doubt, you’re invited to events and parties. Both high value men and attractive women will naturally approach you.

Giving you more opportunities to meet women and expand your networks.

Then learn how to flirt. That will cover the basics.

yamb97 · 2022-07-08T14:44:59+00:00

Stop fucking trying to date women and be friends with them first.

nothatyoucare · 2022-07-08T15:51:57+00:00

Get your BF% to 15% or lower.

Make sure you can:

Press: 1x BW
Bench: 1.5 BW
Squat: 2x BW
Deadlift: 2.5x BW

Then worry about everything else.

KFC_Fleshlight · 2022-07-08T16:18:28+00:00

looksmax before you try dating apps it'll save your mental health if you don't get rejected constantly for a couple years. After you looksmax you'll probably find dating apps easier on your mental health than you would if you tried rn.

itm4l2000 · 2022-07-08T16:23:58+00:00

If you don't command respect from your male peers, how can you expect that from women.

Men can't bullshit other men, it doesn't work.

Be the man that men respect and everything goes from there.

2022-07-08T16:28:20+00:00

Take a step back and do some troubleshooting, find out why you are not getting women, go deeper that that and ask why arent you doing other things like going out with friends, events, etc.
Figure out whats wrong or good with your looks, height, race, hair, face, features, eyes, body, weight, muscle, tatts, clothes, style, body language. You need to put effort in this shit.
Improve what you can.
Get male friends to hone ur social skills, then carry that over to social skills with girls. Be more social and do things.
Make sure you look up what a nice guy, simp, neckbeard is and basically do not be like them at all, girls are repulsed by those

mczmczmcz · 2022-07-08T16:42:16+00:00

Pay for sex.

If you’re shy, learn how to drink just enough to become extroverted.

Learn how to dress well.

Maintain a decent social media presence, ideally showing that you have a social life.

KMS__Scharnhorst · 2022-07-08T16:47:42+00:00

better to be ugly and jacked than ugly and not fit

Source- ME

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-07-08T16:54:01+00:00

Treat women as people. Not sex objects.

Be independent. Have some interest. Learn to socialize. Be kind… not just “nice” - nice = expects something in return. Some people think it means being kind is being a beta — that’s false. No one wants an AH (what most associate with “alpha”). Basically don’t buy into alpha/betas. Ugh

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-07-08T16:55:10+00:00

No. It means the guy has his shit together. Hypothetically, why would i date a man who doesn’t have his shit together?

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-07-08T17:02:57+00:00

The best thing to do is looksmaxx and socialmaxx, focus on being ok with being single if it ends up being that way (also helps because desperation can be smelled by women)

2022-07-08T17:06:31+00:00

Give up on dating and find fulfillment in other areas of life. Focus on excelling in your education and career, and making as much money as possible

Perfect_Sir4820 · 2022-07-08T17:11:58+00:00

Get in shape.

DanaWhite420 · 2022-07-08T17:21:56+00:00

I firmly believe that anyone who is average or below can add at least 2 points (out of 10) to their appearance simply by consistently going to the gym and getting their hair cut (have the barber clean up your brows too) every 2 weeks.

Adding 2+ points to your appearance will do more for you than any change to your “game”

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-07-08T17:22:11+00:00

this is a waste of keystrokes, but here it goes. I don't claim to know what women want (that would be crazy), but in my 41 years on this earth, with a marriage, several LTRs and numerous FWB and ons under my belt, it is my belief that first and foremost women are looking for someone who they can feel safe and protected by.

Guys usually take this to mean that they should act like a "safe" guy, new rules trying any funny business, never being mean to her, etc., so they don't risk hurting her. But that's not what this means at all. The world's safest army is the Costa Rican army. On account that they don't have an army. The worlds deadliest army is the probably the US army. Ask yourself, when the world is dangerous and unpredictable, which army would you prefer to have on your side?

That's how women feel about men and that's the reason nice guys continuously strike out. Nice guys don't trigger this feeling of being able to provide safety and protection. Women will take an asshole over a nice guy any day even if he doesn't treat her well, the same way a man will take a hot chick who is bitchy and treats him badly over a homely chubby girl who treats him like a god.

This is btw where the whole height and muscle thing comes in. Yes, tall and muscular men can make a woman feel safer and protected. That is a thing and in the absence of better choices, women will go for taller and more built men. But there is one advantage any guy can get to men like this, although it comes at a cost.

That advantage is getting rid of their fears and phobias. A man who lacks fear is dangerous and intimidating. Women feel safer with a man like this because they know he can handle any situation and not break under it. In caveman days, it was important for a male to be able to defeat the saber tooth tiger and other male competitors in order to survive and thrive. Cavewomen knew because of natural selection that their children would stand much higher chances of survival if they copulated with such a man as opposed to the coward who stayed in his cave all day.

So here does that leave men who are sexually unsuccessful? Well, they have to face their fears of rejection, embarrassment and humiliation. They have to face their fears of bodily harm and standing up for themselves. They have to face their fears of losing a woman or friends because they stood up for themselves. If you face one fear every day and you battle them and expose yourself to them, pretty soon there won't be much you fear. But this requires conscious effort. It requires you to get out of your comfort zone and actually do shit that you have not done before. This is how you build confidence.

Many men will say they have no basis to feel confident. They will fiercely defend their lack of confidence and self esteem. The reality is they suffer from delusions of inadequacy. The things they believe are proof of their inadequacies are actually completely fake. If there are skills or personality traits they need to improve because those might be off putting to others, then get to work and fix them. Anything other than that is just finding excuses.

PurplePillEric · 2022-07-08T17:23:36+00:00

Easy, just be confident!

Oh, and here's how:

Lift (improve your physique). Makes you more confident in yourself when you like the way you look.
Get really good at a unique skill that you're passionate about. This gives you a personality and makes you stand out. Other people who like that skill look up to you. Boom, confidence.
Level up at your job. More money, better communication skills, more options in life. Makes you more naturally confident.

This is often met with criticism because it requires work, something men who complain about how hard dating is don't seem to want to do.

M_LaSalle · 2022-07-08T17:24:20+00:00

Get your shit together. Control for what you can control for. That's appearance, grooming, the care you take of yourself, and demeanor. Make yourself as attractive as you can, and then put yourself out there, and that means in meatspace, not on the dating apps.

Understand that there are never any guarantees. Some men simply fail, and you may be one of those. Do things you can enjoy doing alone because you may have to. And this actually helps to improve your chance with women, because unhappy, desperate, mentally unhealthy men are not attractive to women.

Be suspicious of anyone who tells you to lower your standards. Women who are worth having are in short supply. I am forcefully reminded of this every time I go out in public.

soundslikebliss · 2022-07-08T17:27:08+00:00

I'm sorry but I haven't seen any piece of advice that goes for the root. A majority of what I read was how to change the external; appearances, job, working out etc. All of that is always secondary. Women are natural masters of reading energy, which has everything to do with what's going on inside of you.

If you want to attract a secure, self-respecting woman, you MUST be a secure, self-respecting man. When you are, it's laughable how easy and quickly you can identify a woman who is not secure or self-respecting (they can do the same!).

This is why I think it's so important that each person (man or woman) work on learning to love themselves with a high level of internal validation before ever stepping near the dating pool. So many people enter the dating pool to feel validated, then wonder why "there's no good ones left". There absolutely are good ones out there, it's just that their radar for self-security is super high and they frankly don't want you.

The advice: learn to love and accept yourself exactly as you are. A great daily exercise is to journal whatever is on your mind and instead of labeling your thoughts as good or bad, enter the practice of acceptance and love for all of your thoughts. The more you do this, the more you will notice that you can love and accept yourself outside of journaling. Women will sense that you authentically care for yourself and they are hungry for a partner who does.

Take care, friends!

John_Oakman · 2022-07-08T17:53:06+00:00

Devotion to the pursuit of moral virtue. The point if not any promise of materialistic results or payout, but that either way the person in question stops being a problem and danger to society.

AelfredRex · 2022-07-08T17:56:10+00:00

A. Stop trying so hard to be "average". Get your ass some cool. It ain't that hard. It's all in the culture you choose. The stronger the culture, the more confidence you can derive from it. Red pill ain't cool. It's weak, conformist culture. It's for dogs.

B. Dogs chase the cats and the cats chase the rats. If you want the kitties to hunt you down, stop being a dog. Dogs beg. Begging isn't cool. Rats are cool. They don't beg. They get chased. See A.

C. If she has the looks that kill, she can have any dog she wants. So the challenge in her eyes is to see if you're just another dog. If the answer is "No", watch her eyes light up. See B.

D. Sex is in the hips.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HrxRpaou3A

2022-07-08T18:27:36+00:00

1) watch some videos on mental health and shit. So many dudes on here are obviously depressed and raging, and they're just blaming somebody else. If you listen to a video on depression or another mental illness or even a neurodivergency like autism and you find yourself thinking "that's just being human, you guys aren't special" you probably have that mental illness and you're deflecting and bitter. Get help. And I'm sure most of you that need that advice will deflect and say "if I could get a girlfriend that would cure 90% of all my problems so it's women's fault" lolol. Like work on your insecurities. Being vulnerable is good. Being insecure and not aware is not usually a good thing

2) sit down and think about what you actually like. I think so many people are miserable because they're just doing what they're told to do by society and shit. Think about what you actually want and like, it'll make dating a lot easier. Don't date people who don't align with your shit.

3) go out and be in the community. Most people have to see somebody multiple times to get the vibe and see if they click. Like most people take months to form genuine connections for friends and dating.

4) join hobby groups

5) be clean and tidy, unless you wanna date nasty people

BrummieAMN19 · 2022-07-08T19:42:43+00:00

Looksmaxx, learn game/seduction and run high volume, treat dating like sales and I’d even recommended applying sales methods onto women.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-07-08T19:46:40+00:00

Learn to like women

I’m pretty old these day and over the course of my life I have seen men that shouldn’t be attractive to women do so well.

The thing they have on common is a mixture of coming across as really liking you as a person not just a hole to fuck and making you feel you are the only person in the wolf while they are talking to you.

My ex husband had a close friend, 5ft 5 chubby not hugely well off that got so many women because he was funny but made you feel like the most desirable woman in the world, and really liked women as people

growandappear · 2022-07-08T19:54:33+00:00

Meet new people IN PERSON.

H_miles13 · 2022-07-08T20:00:55+00:00

Be yourself, focus on yourself and building healthy habits and lifestyle. Focus and put yourself first and the women will follow as long as you keep yourself first. Also Go watch Patrice O’Neal on YouTube

Financial_Leave4411 · 2022-07-08T20:03:23+00:00

Know your worth and don’t put pussy on a pedestal.

lo9ick · 2022-07-08T20:06:37+00:00

Figure out whybyoy are struggling and fix it. If its a lack of confidence in life in general. Find something to do that gives you confidence.

If its beingnout of shape. Get in shape.. if its money. Well. Look for a job..

Anything to increase your self worth helps you.

2022-07-08T20:50:55+00:00

You still don't get it, do you. It's her job to catch and "secure" you (for herself), not the other way around. Which part of 1+1=2 poses difficulties for your Briansell that it just can't wrap itself around that simple fact?

If the "bitches", whom you shouldn't be inwasting too much attention (in?)to anyway, aren't "sniffing" you, maybe you don't smell of sweat enough, "dog".

Maybe you would do well to focus a little bit more on living a lived life, and the rest will take care of itself. Who knows.

SmakeTalk · 2022-07-08T20:53:09+00:00

It's therapy.

Therapy is an amazing utility for everyone, not just those who are struggling in life, but it's especially useful for men who have a hard time either balancing their emotions or addressing and accepting them.

I see so many stories on here from men about how they can't be emotionally vulnerable with someone, whether it's a lack of comfort or because they overdid it in the past and it ended their relationship.

Treat your emotional/mental health like your physical health. Can someone love you if you're struggling? Sure. Should they be expected to if you don't also work on yourself?

Absolutely not.

The_Entertainer217 · 2022-07-08T21:42:46+00:00

Go to the gym.

Either build muscle or lose fat through diet depending on which way you need to go.

Work on breaking through social anxiety, talk to lots of people both men and women, become a “people person” do it even when it’s hard.

Whiten your teeth.

Procure money, but don’t use it on anyone but yourself and having fun.

When a woman texts or messages you don’t answer her right away.

That’s what I could think of off the top of my head.

IcarusKiki · 2022-07-08T21:56:06+00:00

be social, push your limits

purplenelly · 2022-07-08T22:08:43+00:00

Date single women (but without secretly feeling resentful of it, obviously). You could be a great stepdad to some teenage children, and you would finally know what it is like to be part of a family. It brings more to you than to them.

HereForaRefund · 2022-07-08T22:44:17+00:00

Start working out. An hour a day, at minimum 3 days a week. It'll help you with mood, and confidence.
Get a haircut. If you can, go to a black barbershop. You know why!
It's a numbers game. Approach a girl, smile, and just be polite. Don't lose it no matter what is said or replied to you. One woman rejects you, Kanye shrug and move on. Joe Budden said it best "there's way too much pussy in this world for me to not need yours.
This kinda ties into 3. READ. The Game by Niel Strauss. It's somewhat dated by now, but it's still relevant where it counts. Also How To Win Friends and Influence People. You need to learn to be social overall, not just with women. Study marketing and sales Not only will it make you a better communicator, it will make you a better human.

Skadi793 · 2022-07-08T23:04:55+00:00

Learn how to dress: lose the fucking baseball cap (it says you are either losing your hair, or you never grew up, or both), and develop a style. Leather shoes, collared shirts, vests, nice jackets, etc. No fucking cargo shorts, team jerseys, dingy t-shirts, etc.
Smile and make eye-contact. So basic, but fundamental
Try not to talk about yourself. Talk about interesting or funny things, and mix seriousness with humor. Girls love to learn about new things, and to expand their horizons. Introduce them to art & literature, cool music (no not some fucking grunge or emo band--good stuff), indie films, etc.
Stop talking like a 14 year-old. Learn to speak clearly and confidently.
Keep texting to a minimum. You are a confident, professional guy, not a 14 year-old girl.
Always meet for coffee first --I don't care what anyone else says. Vet the girl and keep it very casual at first. You can also ask her out for a drink, but I've found coffee works better on the first date.
You MUST give the impression that you have an exciting life, and enjoy the finer things. If she isn't with you, you will be with someone else at the symphony or a cool concert, a gallery opening. hanging out in a wine bar, or traveling. You will make space for her in your life, not the other way around (frame)

I had a lot of trial and error when I was younger. Eventually learned to hit above my weight.

Marzipan-Happy · 2022-07-08T23:23:06+00:00

Drop the pill and go ask your sisters and mothers how they want to be treated by a man.

2022-07-08T23:24:07+00:00

Confidence confidence confidence. If you’re not confident fake it. Women are attracted to confidence.

Ass-a-holic · 2022-07-08T23:50:13+00:00

“Your scientists (purplepillers) were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.” - Ian Malcom - Ass-a-holic

Disregard females, unless for business purposes, aquire currency/hobbies

2022-07-09T00:43:02+00:00

Date in your league, not over.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-07-09T00:51:24+00:00

Get a Passport and use it!

If you go overseas you will in general get way more attention, depending on the culture.

Men marrying migrants works well for men, you get heaps of family support on migrant families, while western families suck for men.

Hazaawah · 2022-07-09T01:00:45+00:00

Give up. They’re just not that into you.

Find something of value in your life rather than sticking your dick in a person who only pretends to like you for money and free labor.

Thou shall not simp.

Time_Animaal · 2022-07-09T02:55:33+00:00

Women are shallow algorithms that choose men based off their percentiles. It's solid, concrete. There is some weighting differences between women, but these are minor. The alpha fux/beta bux weighting is different, with a higher focus on status/money for beta bux and a higher focus on body size for alpha fux. These are just two different modes women choose in.

So there are a few things you can do to improve your status with women

lose body fat
gain muscle
get plastic surgery
Obtain higher status (typically money - but the younger you are the more varied this is)
Learn how to project higher status (to appear wealthier)

throwtowardsr4r · 2022-07-09T06:13:39+00:00

It's gotta be exercise and getting a good body. Everything else is downstream from there. Sure, it helps to be naturally attractive in some way. If you are, being physically fit will ensure you get into the top 10-20% of good looks. If you aren't that naturally attractive facially, still being physically fit will help out quite a bit (you just may need to work on other aspects). There is simply a huge difference with being 185 lbs with some muscles vs. same muscles and 145 lbs, and even better with more muscles.

You'll still have to work on getting good OLD pics and tinder shots, but in person you will notice the difference in a huge way. Getting stalked in stores is not uncommon.

gopher_glitz · 2022-07-09T07:02:46+00:00

Get a hobby and a dog.

2022-07-09T07:13:50+00:00

Stop caring about the opinion of women, they make you jump through hoops and it's never enough for them. Even major movie stars and celebrities seem to struggle. Hugh Grant got caught with a hooker. When you stop caring and learn to be truly free, women will unironically like you a lot more. It's something with their psychology.

dumpy43 · 2022-07-09T07:20:32+00:00

For a lot of men, the answer is just give up. I’ve got a bunch of friends who were virgins in college who still haven’t been a date. I graduated almost four years ago.

2022-07-09T09:45:17+00:00

If you haven’t ever lifted weights, get on a workout program. Aim to gain 20 lbs of muscle. Then try to get below 12% body fat

Once that’s done, get some basic outfits (r/malefashionadvice), get a haircut that fits your face, get pro photos taken for $300, and put this all up on Hinge. Swipe right on about a thousand women. At an average match rate, you’ll go on a date a week.

If the above doesn’t work, take photos of your face and critically ask yourself what facial flaws you have. Being below 12% would have fixed the most common ones (double chins, puffy faces, etc). Whatever you have left, google possible solutions. If it’s acne or bad skin, congrats, you just need 6 months of a skin routine. If it’s something else, you’ll need surgery. It’s not as bad as it sounds, expensive but in most cases safe and permanent.

Rinse and repeat until you are meeting women to your satisfaction.

In my experience, a guy’s social skills and charm has little correlation with his dating success. Most guys have good-enough personalities, you don’t need to be a standup comedian, if you can make your grandma laugh you are sociable enough to close a girl that’s interested in you. The problem is that most women aren’t interested in you because you’re below their thresholds. Getting above the threshold way outperforms being super charming or funny.

This takes time and money, buckle up.

DXBrigade · 2022-07-09T09:47:25+00:00

Go out, meet girls. Get rid of your assumptions about dating and women .

Krouser1522 · 2022-07-09T10:22:25+00:00

I mean I can literally write an essay on this as I am constantly trying to help guys out there but I will try to keep my answer as concise as possible. Work on your nutrition and stay in shape. Make sure you have a decent sense of style and have good hygiene. You must work on your conversation/social skills if all you can do is say hi and then just keep asking questions like you are on an interview you will just bore her to death.

If you can’t chat with strangers who are women yet then just talk to people you are not interested in at the mall, park, grocery store to get comfortable talking to strangers. Then just work your way up and eventually talk to someone you are interested in and get the number and set up dates. Remember that most of communication is what you are not saying and the vibe/energy you give off is important. If you are nervous/shy/uncomfortable she will feel uncomfortable and you will shoot yourself in foot and it won’t matter much what you say so make sure you have an easy going/fun and approachable energy to you and you are comfortable in you’re own skin. Also, you will face lots of rejection before things start working in your favor..it’s just nature of the beast just accept it

Live-Acanthaceae3587 · 2022-07-09T12:01:42+00:00

Love and take care of yourself.

Work out, get a nice haircut and shave.

Learn social skills. Learn to talk to the opposite sex. Practice on your grandma, mom, and aunts. Just talk to them and let them talk. Go out of your way to attempt a conversation with a stranger at least once a week, it doesn’t have to be just women you can talk to men the point is learning to socialize.

Alvorek94 · 2022-07-09T13:17:59+00:00

Really cliche but honestly, learning social skills and putting yourself out there is 90% of it. There's plenty of average, even below average guys in relationships and I think a big reason why they are successful is because they simply put themselves out there and had decent enough social skills.

leanafro · 2022-07-09T14:17:28+00:00

Give up and concentrate on yourself.

newzalrt883 · 2022-07-09T17:22:31+00:00

Where you live is 90% of it - Move to a big east coast city the ratio is waaaaay better for guys (NYC, boston, etc). West coast/midwest/south numbers are bad for guys.
The number 1 thing that matters is be hot (hair, face, teeth, skin - get hair transplant, skin treatment, tan, plastic surgery, tats, whatever). Take good pics, catch the smile right in pics. Also, be hot.
Be normal, or learn to act normal. Be normal, but talkative. don't start being weird until you're deep in the relationship if you want to go there.
Try to hookup on 2nd or 3rd date. Make the girl bring up being exclusive. Otherwise just keep dating new women from apps (use the sort of relationship ones like bumble/hinge). If you're doing this right you should have at least 5-10 new matches a week, at least a new date or two.
It gets way easier with age. You can kill it in your 30s with this strategy if you want.

2022-07-09T18:20:52+00:00

Become a monk or go to war and die a hero, like men in previous generations did.

HushPuppy1993 · 2022-07-09T23:58:44+00:00

Give up, almost none are worth it anymore…

thepowerelite · 2022-07-10T08:20:00+00:00

Whitepill, monk mode, entheogenics, remote viewing, astral projection

Eyesofmalice · 2022-07-12T13:56:10+00:00

I'd you're in your thirties and haven't found any success, you might have to start considering suicide if you can muster the courage.

If you're 25 and nothing has happened, you need to face that you'll never find love lost likely.

If you're 20-25, you need to start trying very hard to go on dates, meet people in real life, go to social events, try online dating. Just play the numbers game.

If you're under 20 you're fine, focus on improving your appearance and becoming intuitive of other people's feelings and motives.

Title	What’s your dating advice to the guys on here who can’t get success with women?
Author	SignalThanks6766
Upvotes	103
Comments	412
Date	July 8, 2022 2:16 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vubswy/whats_your_dating_advice_to_the_guys_on_here_who/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whats-your-dating-advice-to-the-guys-on-here-who.1122571 https://theredarchive.com/post/1122571

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