This is why FDS says we shouldn’t act like wives until we’re married. Scrote asks for pre-nup after his live-in bangmaid mommy bankrolls his life and “builds” with him for nearly a decade.

excusemeILY · 2021-05-11T19:04:10+00:00

He USED her and doesn’t have the decency to give her what she’s earned over the 8 years together (a safe future). Im so over these “self made” assholes who aren’t grounded at all in their perception of the world.

She needs to cut her losses and move on. The way this is going, he’ll make even more money and dump her for his “dream girl”, which he will NEVER make work because he wants to impress her

SakuraGirl88 · 2021-05-11T18:40:38+00:00

She's been playing house for 8 years? He probably convinced her that she could help him build his "empire". She needs to get out of there and get her own money before she marries this loser and he financially abuses her, if he hasn't already.

Apprehensive_Ad_7917 · 2021-05-11T19:45:10+00:00

[deleted]

Twohagsover30 · 2021-05-11T18:29:35+00:00

The irony is OP lurked on FDS a few days ago and said we were a dumpster fire.

carmen_sandiegos_hat · 2021-05-11T18:59:59+00:00

He doesn't actually love her. He loves the idea of her. In marriage, he'll continue exactly what he's had, and will protect himself should she choose to leave. He's already successfully tricked her into being with him for 8 years, I'm sure he can trick her into signing a prenup tailored to benefit him.

Mcccy · 2021-05-11T18:32:58+00:00

8 years ☠️☠️

Gambit12345 · 2021-05-11T18:38:40+00:00

Didn’t they say if we treated men like a king they’d treat us like a queen? 🤔🤔Without her, he arguably wouldn’t have achieved what he did. He had a mommy bangmaid of almost a decade helping him save money by having her split bills 50/50. He doesn’t value her or her contributions at all. She needs to follow her gut and dump his selfish ass. She’s doing way too much for a dude not that invested in her

starfighter07 · 2021-05-11T18:23:38+00:00

The audacity of LVM...

And the sadness that comes with reading that she thought her relationship was perfect before that, while there were big red flags that she perfectly describes...

monch-bred · 2021-05-11T19:07:02+00:00

He started this business but still made her go 50/50 on bills 🤡 look, if you’re gonna do the old he provides / she takes care of the home, it means he PROVIDES 100%. He is doing less than half the job of a significant other by shirking half the financial weight and the entire housekeeping weight. Useless.

purasangria · 2021-05-11T19:28:46+00:00

Girls, here's the irony: Now that he is ready to get married, he will ask the next girl he dates, right away. And he won't ask her for a prenup. OP played herself, here. I feel sorry for her.

Never help a man build. He will take ALL the credit, and he will leave you in the cold.

ConnectBlueberry9276 · 2021-05-11T19:00:05+00:00

Run!

This man doesn't realize you're the reason he could focus on his business. He's an entitled pièce of crap.

Do not get his children.

Run. U still can Please save yourself a life of misery !!!

Turbulent-Leave9596 · 2021-05-11T18:32:12+00:00

I don’t even know why or how I can still be shocked at the audacity of scrotes, but here I am. I hurt for her.

bleda_princezna · 2021-05-11T18:36:07+00:00

Oh my fucking god!!

What a dickhead! Seriously, the audacity. She sacrificed so much for his sorry ass and this is what he does to her? I hope she dumps him. Woman who's caring like this deserves so much better.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-05-11T18:35:21+00:00

Small claims court

FabledAngryVillager · 2021-05-11T20:23:10+00:00

OP of that thread, if you're reading this - yeaaahh, a little miffed you called this place a dumpster fire, but I still believe you deserve better. If you stick with this man, please follow the legal advice everyone gave you.

But no amount of logic or pleading will make him feel or think differently of you or your worth. You have to decide if that is something you can deal with for the rest of your life together, as short or long as it may be.

If you threaten to end things and he changes, that change is temporary and done begrudgingly.

If you leave, don't help him in the transition, either in home or business. It doesn't make you petty. You need to be kind to yourself, too

Kellianny · 2021-05-11T20:50:24+00:00

How is her working, taking care of the kids and home 50/50? She might as well be a single mom.

But what really makes me shudder with disgust is how calculated it all is and why two strangers are even getting married in the first place.

He has no trust or appreciation after 8 years. Like a stranger not a family.

gcthwy · 2021-05-11T20:36:07+00:00

Of course he waited until she was committed to the wedding emotionally, financially, and by time constraints. Men know. Fucking asshole.

FDS-GFY · 2021-05-11T19:20:25+00:00

The timing is super sketch. My advice? Run. No wedding with it.

Karolin99_Ger · 2021-05-11T19:53:19+00:00

Wow she wont ever get those 8 years back. Kinda sad but its not too late to dump the lvm

Hedy__Lamarr · 2021-05-11T20:43:13+00:00

So many women stay in bad relationships because they're afraid to be confronted with the losses they've been taking along the way. It's a sunk cost fallacy. I fell prey to it myself.

It's like gambling. You've lost what you started with but you keep betting because surely it will pay off eventually! This woman has put in all this work building this man and his business. 8 years of her life. If she walks away now, she thinks she has nothing. If she marries him she might finally win the prize! The idealized life she dreams about with kids, a nice house, nice vacations and growing old with her future husband.

This pre-nup is really a blessing if she allows it to be. She is now seeing exactly how her fiance values her and the work she's done. Her value to him? Nothing! Right there in black and white on the pre-nup! If he says otherwise he is gaslighting her. This pre-nup has been a wake up call to the logical side of her brain that she has been stifling for years. She's trying so hard to ignore it that she might still sign the pre-nup and live in denial.

The reality is that she can't do anything about what she's already lost. And you can *always* lose more. All she can do is stop the bleeding and walk away now with her dignity. Or be prepared for the reckoning that will come the day the inevitable divorce papers are filed.

starlight_sequence · 2021-05-11T20:53:16+00:00

I am so glad I only dated my ex for a year and a half. He sprung the prenup talk on me immediately after we moved in together. I told him any prenup I sign will benefit me and make sure I’m financially protected, especially if there are children involved. I remember feeling so... sick to my stomach and betrayed after that conversation.

He also built a business with help from my ideas and labor during our cohabitation. And we broke up almost immediately after it got off the ground.

Efflights6 · 2021-05-11T21:24:04+00:00

OP right now 🤡

Girl if you are reading this, leave him and start investing in yourself. Do you think you can carry the load of work you are doing plus the two kids alone? Because that's exactly your future, he's not gonna help with shit.

CandidKick · 2021-05-11T21:34:29+00:00

She cooked, cleaned, shared financial responsibilities, shared ideas and put work into the company.

Now that he took advantage of her and squeezed out all he could for 8 years unmarried, he wants her to sign a prenup so that she doesn’t receive an ounce of what she gave back or be taken advantage of.

It’s almost like he doesn’t mind exploiting but doesn’t want to be exploited, except her exploitation was real and his is imagined.

MadameDestruction · 2021-05-11T20:44:46+00:00

She feels like she isn't valued because she isn't. Her feelings are truthful and they're there to protect her, she should listen to them. Seriously, ladies, don't let men tell you that you shouldn't trust your own feelings.

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-05-11T22:20:14+00:00

What value does he add to her life.

gigababejfl_ · 2021-05-11T22:27:33+00:00

I always feel it burn slow when I read things like this because so many LVM rely on your trust and naivete to only switch on you at the end. And if you're from certain communities, you're told you're a bad woman who is too picky if you reject doing what this woman here did.

It's like a never ending attack against a woman's peace of mind.

Morons will say "she CHOSE him"

Yeah. Took her 8 years to find out he saw her as a handy stepping stone of which he owes nothing to.

Efflights6 · 2021-05-11T22:02:28+00:00

Men see women as objects and the moment they start making more money they want a new shiny object.

eveloe · 2021-05-11T19:11:19+00:00

To the OP of this post: this is the definition of duress. This prenup will probably not hold up in court.

Protoetype · 2021-05-11T22:09:50+00:00

I wanna see a woman spring a pre nup on a scrote before their wedding that states that she is entitled to absolutely everything contingent upon divorce because when men call me a heartless bitch they're totally right.

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2021-05-11T23:57:25+00:00

Barbara the Builder always loses...

charr28 · 2021-05-12T02:26:34+00:00

OP should not marry this man...

But for kicks if she wants to test his sincerity she should approach this prenup like he does. All business forget right or wrong, a prenup is about money, any relationship involves money (family, friend, romantic partner even pets). 1. She should calculate the costs of all that she has done in their relationship (maid,cook,planner, therapist etc) and put a price. Find the cost of being a house-manager and calculate the cost over 8 years. She should demand this lumpsome payment upfront before she gets married (aka 5pm on the date of the rehearsal dinner or no wedding/ prenup is void). Then she should demand a monthly stipend for her personal use to a personal bank account ( condition missed payment voids the prenup). She should be paid the going rate of a high class surrogate (for each child) and a lumpsum payment after each pregnancy (successful or not) as each scenario affects your body and mind in a different way. Additionally he is to create and contribute to a retirement account for her yearly for the duration of their marriage regardless if she works or not (missed years void the prenup and everything is 50/50). Then she should stipulate in the event of a divorce initiated by him (regardless of reason) he is liable for her legal, health and living expenses for period of x years and all the expenses for the children (indefinitely). Thats to start.

If she presented that to him as counter from her lawyer, he will absolutely melt down. Sure he can ask for sex x amount of days, house to be sparkling white always but she has already been doing that, a response like this will most importantly show her what she is giving to him because I dont think she had realized.

Davina33 · 2021-05-11T21:06:31+00:00

Greedy bastard.

The fiancé of course.

bpdweep · 2021-05-12T00:11:07+00:00

I had to unfollow that sub because I got tired of constantly seeing the same situations being repeated over and over. Nothing bunch of mindless pickmeishas and scroaches. I went to take a peak of the subreddit and seeing, “I’m so used to masturbating, I can’t have sex with my girlfriend.” pathetic, just fucking pathetic.

RegularStatus5 · 2021-05-11T20:10:38+00:00

Tbh I am surprised he is bothering to marry her at all. My bet is he wants to present a family man front to the often more conservative business world he is now a part of. That and he wants to have kids and she made it clear he would have to marry her for that. She has already been doing the wife's duties for almost a decade now without being married, why would he bother to make a legal commitment to her? He can easily upgrade a girlfriend but a wife will be slightly more difficult, so why go to the trouble of marrying her? She should have left him after the first month of him demanding she pay half of the bills, take over household chores completely and help with his business. I hope she still goes

spicyspa · 2021-05-12T00:15:36+00:00

"But I'm in a RELATIONSHIP!!"

On one hand, this woman was influenced by patriarchal norms and cool girl culture, so I sympathize with her situation.

On the other hand, apparently the OP called us a dumpster fire. We have the most useful sources and support to get her out of this mess. Because we don't value being in a relationship with a man any man no matter how awful for its own sake, we're mocked.

Pickme: "My man shits in my bed when he doesn't shit on me, has sex with children, steals my car and money, beats me up."

FDS: "You need to boot him out of your life like we did to our exes."

Pickme: (haughtily) "But I'm in a RELATIONSHIP."

OK, we'll see you on the flip flop.

LynneStone · 2021-05-12T00:57:54+00:00

Prenups aren’t all bad. Sometimes they help protect wives.

HOWEVER

The way he did this by springing it on her TWO WEEKS before the wedding screams GET THE EFF OUT to me. He’s not giving any chance to review and have input. This timing is 100% purposeful.

He wants her to have no choice but to sign his version. I’d sign “Not a chance in Hell” on the signature line and see if he noticed.

MulticoloredCatMug · 2021-05-11T23:15:37+00:00

She should have been negotiating her own prenup months ago. I'd rather negotiate an asset split ahead of time. imagine how this guy will act once they're actually going through divorce.

FreshStarter0 · 2021-05-12T00:44:17+00:00

The pickmeism is insane with this one. The fact that she'd rather go ahead with his obvious manipulation and sign than have him call off the wedding is mind-blowing. 🤡🤡

pureRitual · 2021-05-11T20:01:53+00:00

I'm actually pro prenup to make sure my contributions will not be wasted. The fact that he's already willing to throw her in the gutter if they break up right now, while they're supposedly in love means she'll be a prisoner in the marriage always afraid of a divorce. I've learned from previous relationships that LVM men will take a much as they can without thinking twice, and there are so many of them out there!

thecrazywitch31 · 2021-05-11T19:53:12+00:00

Let's not make so much fun of her. Most of us may have been a pick-me at some point in their lives. Maybe she's realizing how unfair it has been to her. Also, her man's treatment of her shows the reason why she has this kind of attitude.

catandalady9 · 2021-05-12T02:16:07+00:00

Doesn’t get better, I would get out of there ASAP. He values $ over his relationship. Had the same conversation with my LV ex when we lived together .. we were looking to buy but he didn’t want to put me on the title. However wanted 50/50 mortgage repayments. Nahhhhhh

ReluctantChimera · 2021-05-11T19:12:52+00:00

This was my mom for 20 fucking years. She did ALL the grunt work to build my stepfather's business (he was the "idea man" so he felt he didn't need to do any of the actual implementation or hard work) AND run his household. Made her swing with him. Abused us (her kids from her previous marriage).

Once the business was successful, he spent the last 10 years having a relationship with another woman (even though he was already free to have an open sexual relationship with anyone he wanted, but she wasn't. She was just allowed to be swapped around to his buddies). It wasn't enough to fuck any woman he wanted, he needed to humiliate my mom by having another legit, long-term relationship with another woman while my mom kept his houses and businesses running smoothly. He even had the audacity to say that he truly loved this other woman in a way that he could never love my mother.

My mom did all this and put up with all this without being married to him. Guess what happened when she finally left him? She got nothing, because they were never married. She wasted almost 25 years of her life, and built a business that made that asshole a multi-millionaire, while she and her children got used and abused. Don't be like her. Do not ever do a wife's job if you are not a wife.

And do not ever sign a prenup that leaves you with little or nothing in the event of divorce.

Zirniaisuspirgais · 2021-05-12T00:38:10+00:00

Stopped reading after "8 years".

Wkndwhorechata · 2021-05-12T03:20:38+00:00

Let's have a moment of silence for the sit down she's having with her pickme mom, who is advising her on how he cares, and how she's been with him for so long, and to break up now after 30 would be crazy.

You're doing great, sweetie.

haunted_vcr · 2021-05-12T06:09:34+00:00

Perfect eh? "8 years 4 months" is a very very resentful phrase.

goth_crocodile · 2021-05-12T00:15:38+00:00

All I’m gonna say is: at least there aren’t any children/pregnancies involved. 8 years down the drain, but at least she won’t need to waste a moment more if she calls it off right now.

mandoa_sky · 2021-05-12T01:52:27+00:00

in australia, you live together couple for 2 years and you're de-facto married anyway.

does it work like that in the US? you can't do prenups to someone you're legally "married" to already

Rowbloks · 2021-05-12T08:11:42+00:00

"Have been dating for 8 years" that was enough for me to not want to keep reading already

This guy is trying to make sure that he'll have enough money to properly court the new girl he'll date when he will dump this one to replace her with a younger model. I wonder why he is even bothering to get married at all.

"Not because of the money but because I don't feel valued" it should be about the money too sis, virtue signalling does nothing for you

2021-05-12T04:25:07+00:00

She should sign it ASAP, and without a lawyer, making sure it’s horrendously imbalanced and unfair (or what the law would call, unconscionable) and focus on setting up evidence of how distressed she is and can’t think straight.

With a wedding planned, invites out, people traveling - the better the case to plead duress and have the whole prenup thrown out in the future. Risky but worth it.

Guyincognito9876 · 2021-05-12T08:10:11+00:00

Whenever I feel mad at myself for the time/money I wasted on exes, I see something like this and think “at least I was never THAT bad!!”

Chemical-Complaint-8 · 2021-05-12T09:46:32+00:00

This is a fake post. But if it’s real she should sign it. That prenup is going to be thrown out of court anyways as it will be signed too soon before the wedding.

divination__ · 2021-05-12T13:41:03+00:00

This is so sad because she's already lost. She has wasted eight years serving a person who didn't even appreciate it. If she stays with him, she will get no help and he will resent her if she stays at home looking after the children seeing as he clearly doesn't value domestic labour. As he's lived with her for so long and had her looking after him for so long I doubt he even comprehends how much work she does and how hard and draining domestic duties are. The best thing to do would be to leave him, but at that point she's already thrown eight years away and so so much of herself to this man.. all that time she could've spent developing herself was sent on developing *his* dream that he is purposefully keeping away from her. I think it's bizarre that the comments are saying it's probably some sort of outside influence. This man clearly wants this and isn't some bumbling fool being led astray by evil outside forces, otherwise he wouldn't have diminished her contributions. I hope she leaves because there is nothing but misery with a person like this, but wow. Eight years and she is in denial of how she's received nothing from this person. Eight years with an energy vampire.

freelancepsychic · 2021-05-12T16:14:19+00:00

He's "self made" because he doesn't view her as a person. To him, she is an object/asset to help him.

Chemical-Source-9600 · 2021-05-11T21:06:12+00:00

Chile... anyways

nana19_ · 2021-05-11T22:45:01+00:00

Omg u_u run away

Salty_Letterhead_503 · 2021-05-12T00:30:56+00:00

Sis needs to acknowledge that she wasted 8 years and bounce. Having kids with that? Lol.

Stuffnthings1840 · 2021-05-12T02:56:39+00:00

This is super sad.

Cala6794 · 2021-05-11T20:42:16+00:00

lol sign the prenuptial, marry and pepper his fucking food with glass

natcatha · 2021-05-12T03:27:28+00:00

The relationship was NOT perfect up until this point, she just realized it too late

nonchalance77 · 2021-05-12T12:39:51+00:00

I feel just sick inside for her. She leveled him up and he flatlined her

fairywakes · 2021-05-12T23:18:42+00:00

My heart is aching for this woman. Somebody recruit her, fast! All of her early 20s gone to this fucking scrote who used her and has the audacity to ask for a pre nup.

On another note, I’ll be damned if I let this happen to me. I am so glad I found FDS. I am not build-a-man ™️.

Papaverinum · 2021-05-13T06:57:01+00:00

She's Barbara The Builder. Poor woman.

Dexaroo5716 · 2021-05-12T15:36:21+00:00

She should insist on her own attorney and have them advise her on the terms of the contract and what would be equitable given the facts involved. This way, he can’t say they broke up because she wouldn’t play ball. And he will be accountable to more than just himself and someone he’s hired to look out only for him and his interests. With an unbiased third party witnessing, things could get embarrassing for this idiot real quick. Although honestly he should already be embarrassed. So maybe not.

chunkycasper · 2021-05-12T21:11:58+00:00

Get a good lawyer and sue for wages.

_queeeen_ · 2021-05-13T13:18:17+00:00

She shouldn’t marry him. It will only get worse. She should cut her losses and go. Or hire a lawyer and sue him for her unpaid labor.

donnadeisogni · 2021-05-11T21:16:57+00:00

Why does she not want a prenup, though?! You should see it the other way round, why would a successful woman want a scrote to be able to mooch off of her in case of a divorce? The prenup works both ways, it’s not just for him, but for her as well! Who knows if his business goes down the drain some day and he is in debt? In that case his debt would not be shared if there is a prenup! I love prenups, makes everything smooth sailing in case the marriage doesn’t work out. No dirty laundry! And if I were in her place, I’d never give up on my career anyways, no woman should ever be dependent on a man!

This is why FDS says we shouldn’t act like wives until we’re married. Scrote asks for pre-nup after his live-in bangmaid mommy bankrolls his life and “builds” with him for nearly a decade.

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