Calling men "pornsick" is a distraction from the fact that social media has over-exposed women to choice

Glass_Bucket · 2024-07-25T13:44:56+00:00

Two things can be true. Porn has ruined men’s expectations and social media has ruined women’s

Sillysheila · 2024-07-26T00:34:26+00:00

I don’t know. I think there are legitimate uses for pornsick. Like, if someone has to pretend they’re step siblings or their girlfriend is baby to get off with them or something MAYBE they are pornsick.

I do agree it is overused though and the meaning is being is blurred just like the meaning of “pick me” on the internet now. Like I’ve seen some pink pill adjacent call men “porn sick” for wanting a certain type of blow job, wanting sex outside the bedroom, or not being attracted to people who are like 300+ pounds. That’s kind of a what the fuck moment for me.

KGmagic52 · 2024-07-25T13:21:05+00:00

"Pornsick" has been reduced to an insult, much like "incel".

Westernation · 2024-07-25T19:12:27+00:00

Ever actually LOOK at porn these days?

The most popular category by far is ‘homemade’. Which features women with real bodies. The top Onlyfans people are chubby girls.

This entire ‘wooooo, PORN! Run!’ Ideology seems like some fifty year old baby boomer holdover tbh.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-07-25T17:03:48+00:00

Pornsickness isn’t really about pickiness, it’s more about learning sex from porn instead of real exploration with another human. Which leads to bad, disconnected, performative sex, and ultimately the inability to see a sexual partner or women in general as human beings. Sex starts to become about visuals, performance, and boundary-pushing vs connection and physical pleasure. Which leads to dead bedrooms and relationship problems.

I’m not saying that social media has no negative effects on women, but they’re two very different topics.

throwaway-7744 · 2024-07-25T13:42:05+00:00

Both sexes are too pornsick and over-exposed to choice.

Gold-Inevitable-2644 · 2024-07-25T18:45:06+00:00

these things don't cancel each other out. there is a pandemic of men who are pornsick, that's literally just a fact. it's not a distraction from anything, these are just the facts of modern dating

StupidSexyQuestions · 2024-07-25T19:02:28+00:00

Women’s pickiness is not caused by social media. It has exacerbated it but it is certainly not the cause. Are we going to blame social media for sexist attitudes towards men too or are we going to make a concerted effort to push bigoted groups into not being bigoted? It’s a joke to sit here and state women weren’t picky with men until Instagram and tinder came around. Hold them accountable for how they choose to treat men and then dating apps and the like can’t enable their behavior.

There’s nothing wrong with being picky, it’s the extent to which they are picky that dehumanizes and ultimately ends up in abuse that is the issue. It’s treating their partners like garbage for not making enough money to give them their desire lifestyle, or demanding men sacrifice their physical and mental health working, that is the issue. It’s in the research showing the negative biases boys own mothers (discouraging any negative emotion including crying and anger) and teachers (higher punishment for misbehavior and grading them more poorly even with the same work) have towards them, and the lack of care in every single category of health and well being from “Man Flu”, to poorer mental health, to almost every category of cause of death. There is a million examples of that in all sorts of media long before Steve jobs shat out his fancy brick phone.

Social media is not the cause of this behavior. It’s a symptom. We can treat the symptom as well, of course and surely social media companies are to blame for adding fuel to fire in various aspects. But come on women need to be held accountable as well.

Bewpadewp · 2024-07-25T15:24:50+00:00

Calling men pornsick also, as per usual, removes any and all accountability from women.

Women are considered girlbosses for running an OnlyFans, yet the men who watch them are disgusting and "pornsick".

Women are meth dealers and manufacturers that complain about there being too many methheads in the world.

Maybe stop selling meth?

Wattehfok · 2024-07-25T16:48:01+00:00

I thought pornsick was more a reference to mens unrealistic sexual expectations of women and nascent ED, rather than physical expectations.

Gullible_Amoeba6488 · 2024-07-25T13:55:27+00:00

As a guy I only date women who meet a certain attractiveness threshold, preferably a 7+ if you want to quantify it with a certain body type. I refuse to date women otherwise.

It's not a big deal though, because my preferences aren't harming anyone.

ta06012022 · 2024-07-25T14:22:05+00:00

its not like men are the ones refusing to settle, because there aren't any attractive women out there anymore

...

Now on the other hand women are using technology that gives them access to men in a 50 mile radius where they are laser swiping left anything under 6ft.

Women aren't refusing to settle.

In 2022, half (49.72%) of American women were married or living with a partner by the age of 26.

In 2012, half (49.68%) of American women were married or living with a partner by the age of 26.

Yes, dating apps and widespread instagram adoption changed how people met, but young women haven't become less likely to settle in the last decade.

throwRA-lifeadvice · 2024-07-25T13:58:03+00:00

Perhaps....crazy idea I know...men and women are capable of having unrealistic expectations 🤯

Slipthe · 2024-07-25T13:12:08+00:00

The distinction here is that pornsickness is something that affects men who are in relationships. So whatever negative behaviors come from being pornsick are affecting the partner in the relationship.

Women having options and refusing to date means there's no one to inflict any behaviors onto. They stay single.

So that's why you hear complaints about pornsickness. It's pervasive, chronic, being dealt with on perhaps a daily basis in relationships.

But one man being rejected by one woman is most often a singular event.

WindSlicerEXG · 2024-07-25T16:54:47+00:00

Men don’t choose porn as their first choice. Those men would love to get a real girlfriend but cannot get one because they are invisible to women.

apresonly · 2024-07-25T17:23:52+00:00

that assumes that watching porn doesn't alter your brain.

it does.

there are many studies on this. they say porn makes men more violent and erodes their ability to pair bond.

if you want to debate the studies, we can do that but just asking people to ignore it is weird.

Nihi1986 · 2024-07-26T23:03:29+00:00

Those are different topics, Imo... Perhaps the effect of social media and dating apps on women should start to be taken more seriously, I see your point and the similarity but I don't think the effects are the same.

Cevohklan · 2024-07-25T15:03:28+00:00

Thats a load of bullcrap because most men, are porn sick YEARS BEFORE you even kiss a girl. 12, 13, 14
Years before you even remotely had the slightest idea about the dynamics between men and women.

And MARRIED MEN and men who been in relationships for years are porn addicts. THEY HAVE A WOMAN. THAT WOMAN is not over exposed to choice. She chose him.

So no, you got porn rotted brain ALL on your own.

obviousredflag · 2024-07-25T13:27:10+00:00

Women are in relationships to the same degree as men. Most men and women are in relationships. Most men are good enough for women. And most of the single men do not even look for a relationship. It's just a few incels who are celibate and single against their will. And mostly, it's really just their will and not their action. What do you do to not be single? Nothing except swiping on an app that doesn't even show your profile to women.

T-Rex-The-Alpha · 2024-07-25T15:13:39+00:00

What?! people who are chronically online on social media, point out a porn sickness in males? Damn…

MistyMaisel · 2024-07-25T14:22:36+00:00

Nothing to do with the concept of porn sick
Nothing to do with the concept of porn sick.
Nothing to do with the concept of porn sick.

wtknight · 2024-07-25T14:14:29+00:00

Porn sickness has issues of exploitation and addiction that women don’t like, so I’m not sure it is comparable to dating app pickiness. Dating apps just facilitate already normal female behavior and make it worse, while porn sickness creates socially deviant behavior such as men checking out from pursuing women and human trafficking.

So while women aren’t completely faultless for using dating apps to become even more selective about men, it’s really not at the same level of social harm as pornography. Women have always been selective when it comes to men, and when they haven’t seemed to have been it’s because selecting unattractive men was forced upon them by the patriarchy.

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-07-25T15:32:29+00:00

Not at all.

Having high standards. And not being interested in a LOT of men is not some issue. Is definitely not the same as being porn sick. There is no one getting hurt by someone not wanting to date them.

Porn sick men objectify and can't have intimacy. Intimacy is disconnected with sex and it becomes vice. They have a bizarre fantasy of women and a bizarre entitlement to sex. It activates the same space as drugs. It damages connection with partners.

attendquoi · 2024-07-25T14:03:52+00:00

"overexposure to choice" is one of the most pathetic statements I've seen from a man on this sub (and your competition is fierce).

Judaicyrus · 2024-07-25T13:15:46+00:00

What does the one thing have to do with the other?
Please meet some actual women. Get off the apps and stop watching incel content.

Excessive porn consumption IS a problem, especially among young men. It objectifies women for men, it gives them false ideas for how sex should be, there is a chance it will give them erectile disfunction, it makes them lazy and only makes them think about sex, hindering them to achieve more in life.

TopEntertainment4781 · 2024-07-25T15:06:12+00:00

I see oodles of men married and partnered who are under six feet.

Looks at husband.

ullivator · 2024-07-25T15:05:36+00:00

skill issue

ilike18yoblackpussy · 2024-07-25T18:48:34+00:00

Women all fuck the same small number of men.
The men they don't fuck rely on porn to get their rocks off.
The men that 100 different women are competing for can demand weird pornish sex acts from women and women will comply because if they don't, they know the guy will just call up one of his 99 other girlfriends.
When women can't compete with 99 other chicks for the same guy anymore because they're 50 years old, and are finally ready to settle down with a nice guy, they find the guys they rejected for the last 35 years, if they're still single, may be content jerking off to porn instead of paying for all her baggage.

Result: Women complain about men being "pornsick".

Pornsick =

(a) Guy who likes weird sex acts and can get women to do it for him because he has so many different chicks competing for him.

or

(b) Guy who got rejected by chicks until they're 50 years old and can't get anyone else. Now they want him to give them all his time and money, but he'd rather just relax and watch porn instead.

False-Purple3882 · 2024-07-25T20:30:50+00:00

No calling men pornsick is a reaction to men being so porn obsessed they feel it’s perfectly acceptable to act out violent fetishes without even asking and to ask their pregnant/postpartum spouse for a threesome.

Upset_Material_3372 · 2024-07-25T18:14:23+00:00

The ironic thing is that women’s over exposure to options is what causes men to be “pornsick”.

fundamentally_comfy · 2024-07-25T13:24:14+00:00

I have this theory that the anti-babypill makes woman so flat with a dead sex drive. In my country, the pill is prescribed even for mundane things like skin problems, so its super common. I know a few women who I know cannot take the pill because It would interfere with other medications they need to take, and they are so much more lively and upbeat, it makes a world of difference.

shmupsy · 2024-07-25T17:31:52+00:00

the funny thing about proposing these things in a debate sub with women is that you would never get any of them to agree something has to be done. the only way to handle such a problem would be to take over the government with a male dominated faction and start enacting top down changes to society

AutomatShop · 2024-07-25T17:30:08+00:00

Ha men need to literally just look 3000 miles in any direction, choose the nearest land. Will be better dating.

Consumerist, post-modern, capitalist consumerist culture, young men have no tradable value, young women are given their inheritance up front. Then men are very alienated from women wanting men to take up the slack as women age and rich men are now throwing out the red carpet for newly arriving 18-24 year olds, women expect men their peers to keep up the red carpet, while men feel used, so do women, leading to blow up in 30s where the men who can see no wrong in asking out and throwing out red carpet for young ladies, while women are bitter that all their male experience was men wanting them for their youth. The men their own now see them as "used up" and are bitter as all hell that the women their own age just spent ten YEARS shitting on their male peers.

LillthOfBabylon · 2024-07-25T14:07:33+00:00

"Pornsickness" has been characterized not only by a addiction to porn, but also unrealistic expectations about how women's bodies should look like

Yes.

Now on the other hand women are using technology that gives them access to men in a 50 mile radius where they are laser swiping left anything under 6ft

I notice whenever guys complain about women like it’s typically a shallow ass hot girl they wanna fuck. There’s plenty of women who don’t just want someone over 6 feet, but those guys don’t want those women because theyre “ugly”.

Women admit they can go out for days and not come cross a single attractive man. That the average guy does nothing for them...

The OKCUPID study this sub loves using showed that men also heavily messaged hot women even more than they did with average girls.

Sadsad0088 · 2024-07-25T14:25:58+00:00

You can call things with their name.

Men are the majority of those that get off to porn without even knowing if the act was consensual or getting off directly to simulated or real rape.

If you want to criticise women for whatever else they do call it with the correct name

KayRay1994 · 2024-07-25T13:53:57+00:00

Your comparison really doesn’t make any sense when you consider the fact that women are still dating men in their league and men who are 5+ as a whole.

What you need to understand is that women generally don’t take apps very seriously, they see it as a secondary avenue generally rather than THE way to meet people, and as such, like with any kind of secondary avenue, your standards on those are much higher because if you’re gonna meet someone off this avenue, they’d better check all your boxes.

Also the nature of both is straight up inherently different, every piece of proof that suggests that women’s standards have fully changed and they’ve been “dating app brained” comes from unreliable sources (usually salty men who think swiping = effort), while it is well documented, from both genders (more men than women, for the record) that porn messes with your brain the same way drugs do.

Keep on gooning, but at least be honest about why you are rather than giving this deflection bs

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McPigg · 2024-07-25T15:00:54+00:00

Two entirely different issues, answering a thing where men lack with a thing that women lack (or vice versa) is literally just whataboutism and leads to nothing.

bluestjuice · 2024-07-25T20:35:43+00:00

These are separate and largely unrelated issues. Why try to play them off each other?

Hefty-Lobster-5513 · 2024-07-25T23:47:16+00:00

Two things can be true. And some women are also “pornsick”.

NockerJoe · 2024-07-26T03:29:13+00:00

Maybe its just because I do pinup art as a hobby and work in the arts as my job but my experience on social media is very different from what a lot of people here describe. Sure, there are a lot of women who are clearly sugaring and lying about it or men who are models and lying about that, but IME a large part of social media is also women who are getting off on showing themselves off or women who are willing to laugh at dirty jokes or women who are happily dating the kinds of dudes both the men and women here say they'd never be caught dead with. The ones who are sexually conservative and complaining about modern women or going on about how men or women need to step up are usually influencers trying to get an audience.

Again, it may just be the circles I run in but the point is I think its easier for a "porn sick" man to pass a vibe check and get with a chick who likes sex than it is for a woman to find a dude willing to do the whole performative masculinity thing and spend a bunch of money on her with zero ulterior motives.

Muscletov · 2024-07-26T13:00:08+00:00

To me, "porn addiction" just seems like the newest excuse to shame and blame men for having different sexual expectations in relationships which women are unwilling to satisfy. Whether or not those are "reasonable" depends on who you ask.

wonkysandwich521 · 2024-07-26T19:42:48+00:00

What's really interesting to me is that soft porn is always pushed onto male algorithms. I tested this out on tiktok and Instagram

just_a_place · 2024-07-27T06:06:46+00:00

Pornsick is a stupid word. It makes me think of some dude that jerked too much and gave himself diarrhea from the fapping. lol

I prefer the word Pornosexual. Those are dudes who are so far gone that they can't even get it up if an actual girl comes up to them. And when they do get any sex, they have to frame the whole thing so that it approximates to them fapping to a video.

TheFaeBelieveInIdony · 2024-07-27T11:09:00+00:00

its not like men are the ones laser-swiping left on anyone who doesn't have the proportions of a starlet

Are women doing this?

HappyCat79 · 2024-07-25T15:54:47+00:00

Could it be that women are not as visual as men so it takes more than raw looks to interest us?

NewPomegranate2898 · 2024-07-25T14:41:07+00:00

To reply to 1, if more men did this, and ignored mid women, there will be a big shift. It’s the fact they’re pornsick that they swipe so eagerly and just want to have someone to fuck regularly, which isn’t shameful at all! Just saying

Also, Relationships are fucking hard work. It’s a full time job. That’s why women are refusing to settle. More people are becoming anti marriage

Fuarknmirin · 2024-07-25T22:32:47+00:00

Seriously though, why don’t we just legalize prostitution? It would basically solve the incel issue overnight

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-07-25T13:47:17+00:00

You know what porn is psychologically? It’s sexual access to an unlimited number of women. The very definition of an over-exposure to choice.

its not like men are the ones laser-swiping left on anyone who doesn’t have the proportions of a starlet

So yeah actually they are.

Its not like men are the ones who are getting icks over innocuous things

What, like body count?

there aren’t any attractive women out there anymore

There are on OF and pornhub

SlavePrincessVibes3 · 2024-07-25T14:59:29+00:00

The ratio on dating apps is 70%-80% men and 20-30% women... and that's not even taking into account the bots and scammers.

The women you're talking about comprise a comparatively small demographic. Lol.

And it continues to boggle my mind that men blame women for refusing to lower their standards, as if you're entitled to a partner that you are being unfairly denied.

Many men are "pornsick". They can't keep it up or reach orgasm during sex bc their brains have been so over-saturated with unrealistic stimuli. There are posts ALL over SM about men struggling with porn addiction, or who have incredibly skewed views on what sex should be like, or-as mentioned-begin experiencing issues when having actual sex that can very negatively impact relationships.

hostility_kitty · 2024-07-25T14:36:10+00:00

Being with a pornsick man is one of the worst experiences I’ve ever been through, I will never subject myself to that ever again.

Makuta_Servaela · 2024-07-25T23:49:40+00:00

A lot higher proportion of men watch porn than women are on dating apps.
Men get the ick over the fact that women are mammals with bodyhair and opinions. Literally just women being human icks out way too many men.
Perceiving it as "settling" is not exactly a positive thing.

I think the big difference too is that the things the most social-media-sick woman wants are usually things that benefit the man- money, physical fitness, confidence, etc. The things the most pornsick man wants are things that harm women- permanent youth, unhealthily low weights, lack of confidence or personality or desires, etc.

FunkGetsStrongerPt1 · 2024-07-25T17:28:47+00:00

Porn has done way worse for women’s expectations than men’s.

Why on earth would a bloke want a woman who’s hairless below the neck, caked on makeup, and has got lip fillers?

KikiYuyu · 2024-07-25T18:37:27+00:00

Plenty of men are doing all three of those things. Plenty of men aren't doing those things either.

Plenty of women are excessively picky, plenty of women are not.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-07-25T18:46:51+00:00

No, only in the past women were "forced" to men they were never attracted to for financial reasons.

ImInBreadMyself · 2024-07-25T20:43:24+00:00

Collectively it is a sickness. 11yo old boys are streaming hours worth of violent porn before they have even held hands with a girl. It is absolutely effecting how they view consent, body imagine and relationships. If I was a teenage girl, I would avoid boys like the plague. Imagine knowing this and hearing boys talk about it?

womandatory · 2024-07-26T05:44:35+00:00

Social media created a platform for insecure women to seek validation, and thirsty men to give it.

Don’t feed the beast.

That means, use platforms that encourage more interaction than just unending images and videos; curate your feed by using the ‘not interested’ and ‘show more of’ options; and don’t whine about women having the attention of thousands of men, then go and spend two hours scrolling through porn and thirst traps to find something to sad-wank to. The algorithms know what you hover over, even if you don’t like or react to them. They count the seconds you spend looking at a photo, they know if you’ve watched a reel all the way to the end.

Tl;Dr - do not whinge about this if you are part of the problem.

flipsidetroll · 2024-07-25T20:07:10+00:00

Ah, babybrain is back!! Hey Buddy, do you go on forums about how many different car brands and models are for sale, so drivers are spoilt for choice? Do you moan about the range of chocolate and how consumers are spoilt for choice? Of course not. Because it’s convenient for you to blame women. You want the dating world to be communist. But be careful what you wish for. Think about it….think…. What could possibly be the downside of that? I wonder if you’ll figure it out.

Just_Another_Cog1 · 2024-07-25T13:22:12+00:00

It's not like men are the ones laser-swiping left on anyone who doesn't have the proportions of a starlet

. . . what the f--- does this even mean?

It's not like men are the ones who are getting icks over innocuous things

No, seriously, what the absolute f--- . . .

It's not like men are the ones refusing to settle, because there aren't any attractive women out there anymore

. . . BRO WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???

u/Judaicyrus is right, you need to get off the internet and go meet people in real life. (Not even going to go into "pornsickness" or whatever the f--- that bulls--- is . . .)

Difficult_Falcon1022 · 2024-07-25T18:20:23+00:00

These two points aren't about the same topic though? Pornsickness is discussed irt to how sex is between a couple, swiping on dating apps is about courting.

Your point about women on dating apps makes it seem like you think how men do things is the default, and women doing something different is wrong especially if it does not benefit you specifically.

I don't think anyone wants to be pornsick? For things like death grip. I've had sex where the man clearly had watched too much porn and it was very off putting. But I don't think most men are at all. But it's mostly the one who is pornsick who suffers really.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2024-07-25T21:24:56+00:00

Men swipe right on almost everyone - that’s not something to get braggadocios about
Yes. Yes they are. I saw a man’s ick list that included shit like “wears white nail polish”, “wears hoop earrings”. Men make these lists just as often as women do
There’s nothing wrong with refusing to settle. Absolutely nothing.

That being said, two things can be true at once.

SaBahRub · 2024-07-25T15:13:21+00:00

Who is giving women choices? Are they choosing between rocks, or dicks attached to humans who have free will?

Also, pornsex and OLD are two separate issues

Supreme_Salt_Lord · 2024-07-25T15:00:05+00:00

What is “over exposed to choice”. Why is the chance of picking exactly what you a bad thing? Im happy women get that choice.

Men need to leave these dating apps and enter the real world. Women are there in the community and very single. Go join a salsa club/class, get involved in the community. That’s where many quality women are. Put yourself around women by doing activities women love to do. Women are terminally online like most lonely men.

You have to get offline and get active outside.

SOwED · 2024-07-26T01:04:01+00:00

Men: addicted to masturbating

Women: addicted to casual sex

Obviously an oversimplification as not all men and not all women fall into those categories. But notice how men who are addicted to masturbating are looked down upon, and that they would be addicted to casual sex if it were so easy, while women who are hypersexual are congratulated.

Handsome_Goose · 2024-07-26T01:29:15+00:00

'Pornsick' is used to deny accountability when putting lipstick on a pig doesn't work.

reusableteacup · 2024-07-25T13:45:14+00:00

'Now on the other hand women are using technology that gives them access to men in a 50 mile radius where they are laser swiping left'

Men have all the exact same access to these apps that women do? your post implies that all men have 0 access to dating apps, but they are just as 'overexposed to choice' as women are? Why say 'women are using technology that....', when it is literally both men and women on these apps, both being exposed to way more people they would ever meet in real life, and both having the ability to be very choosy due to the way the apps are set up? Women being on dating apps is no more damaging to them than it is for men to be on the exact same apps with the exact same access

Boxisteph · 2024-07-26T09:56:46+00:00

Porn sickness is about unrealistic expectations about women's sexuality and men's inability to get sexually excited about women outside of a very small body part niche or very specific sexual acts.

All females are choosy. Women have inbuilt systems to avoid men who are not genetically compatible and would produce sick children with them or would otherwise be harmful to a family unit. That is the crux of an ick - disgust.

Its not that women swipe left because that guy isn't super amazing, it's because she has a gut reaction of disgust. Which is why it's so quick.

It's also what causes dead bedrooms. Men that were once the most attractive thing she's ever known do some dumb shit over a few years and her disgust for him overcomes her attraction. Her body litterally tells her not to risk having children with him

Weird_Inflation6522 · 2024-07-27T00:11:34+00:00

Controversial opinion, but I think men who let porn ruin their dating/sex lives and women who let social media ruin their dating/sex lives…would’ve had failed relationships even if those things didn’t exist; they’re just not relationship material in the first place. Stuff like porn and social media don’t change a person’s fundamental nature, just exposes and amplifies people’s tendencies and temptations

Title	Calling men "pornsick" is a distraction from the fact that social media has over-exposed women to choice
Author	Babyface_Bogart
Upvotes	316
Comments	616
Date	July 25, 2024 1:05 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ebueju/calling_men_pornsick_is_a_distraction_from_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/calling-men-pornsick-is-a-distraction-from-the.1525283 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525283

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