Men need to stop justifying why they don't want to date women with high body counts

drew8311 · 2022-09-18T22:13:02+00:00

We don't have to justify anything, that is the one plus about dating, you can end with anyone at any time without a reason.

Specialist_Heat6001 · 2022-09-18T18:30:17+00:00

I'm saving myself for marriage and I want my significant other to be the same.

EviessVeralan · 2022-09-18T20:48:11+00:00

As long as these same dudes understand that low body count women dont typically like male sluts either thats fine by me.

RandomRedditGuy322 · 2022-09-18T17:29:36+00:00

You are correct, but for the wrong reasons.

We don't even need to justify it by suggesting women are gross or unattractive. We don't need to justify it at all, for any reason.

Men's standards are valid. We don't need to give women a reason. If a man isn't attracted to low value high count women, that's the end of it. There's no debate or discussion. His preferences are what they are, and are valid. Period.

2022-09-18T18:50:09+00:00

You don't need to justify any of your standards to anyone. We all have things that ick us put or turn us on.

Let the low n people date each other and the high n people date each other.

CentralAdmin · 2022-09-18T22:22:37+00:00

But this is a debate sub and women come in here either asking or complaining about men having preferences.

So when they say things like the past doesn't matter or they firmly believe a slut can make a decent wife, someone has to show them that - outside of opinion and preferences - there are good reasons why committing to someone with a high N count is a bad idea.

Yes it is a preference but isn't backing up an argument on a debate sub with logic and facts a good thing? It could also change some peoples' minds and offer a different view in the matter.

_polskakielbasa · 2022-09-18T20:38:01+00:00

I agree. For me a man with high body count is gross and trashy and I don’t need to justify it.

LetSuitable5665 · 2022-09-19T09:50:40+00:00

The male version of a slut is a man who uses prostitutes.

SOwED · 2022-09-18T18:02:01+00:00

OP, can you define "high" for the purposes of this conversation.

For a conservative/religious person like me anything above zero going into marriage could be considered "high." So for arbitraty secular purposes (which I assume is the perspective you're coming from) where does this male hivemind draw the line between "normal" and "high"?

Diamond-Breath · 2022-09-19T00:36:26+00:00

If a man with a high body count expects a woman to have a low body count, he better provide fully and do everything a masculine man does. She's losing by being with a manwhore so he needs to rise to her level to make it balanced. This coming from a woman who has a low n-count.

Ok-Application-7614 · 2022-09-19T04:05:59+00:00

The majority of men are sexually unattracted to women who have slept around.

Chick I know was telling me about multiple men she had been sleeping around with. She offered me sex and I turned her down.

beidameil · 2022-09-18T20:07:20+00:00

While I agree that marriage statistics or some other similar stuff is over-rationalizing some inner feeling, I also dont think men dont like it just because it is "ewww, icky".

There is some deeper FOMO, missing out, betabox, sloppy seconds stuff going on here. That someone "conquered" that woman and shot a load all over her face while you were studing for your accountant exams and jerking off in the sink.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-09-19T03:36:39+00:00

You’re right that they don’t need to justify it. But I disagree that “the majority of men are sexually unattracted to women who have slept around.” Based on “watch what they do,” I often doubt that men’s stated preferences match their actual choices. Most men do not actually want to wait for virgin/low n women, and end up finding them boring if they do. And let’s be honest, most of the time you will not even know someone’s body count unless they want you to. It’s almost entirely about looks + how she makes him feel.

FadedTony · 2022-09-18T18:12:35+00:00

My thing is STDs, I ALWAYS use condoms. And I get checked regularly. I was dating a girl who later hmu for fwb but I knew she dated a couple guys after me and I asked her to get tested before we would have sex again.

Also although anecdotal I've found girls are the ones that were annoyed w condoms lol so I knew they weren't using them w other guys

CJC_Swizzy · 2022-09-18T23:03:33+00:00

Why you gotta hate on short people man lol

Ramzabeo · 2022-09-19T04:13:36+00:00

I don't think anyone needs to justify who they date, it's their fucking prerogative.

AJWrecks · 2022-09-19T15:44:47+00:00

I do think it’s weird when a MAN suggest boundaries/ something that makes them uncomfortable all talk of boundaries go out the window. It’s like society is big on boundaries then when a guy suggest one it’s mysogany and all that.

Parking_Doughnut3224 · 2022-09-18T20:48:55+00:00

what’s really funny to me is men don’t like woman with high counts but almost every man I’ve met who says that has slept around, maybe practice what you are preaching if you want a woman who doesn’t sleep around don’t sleep around yourself cause if you do sleep around you have no ground to say “I want a woman with low count” woman don’t like fuck boys I personally think a man who sleeps around is disgusting

Doctor99268 · 2022-09-18T19:56:23+00:00

Men who want low N-count women need to stop complaining about:

Women rejecting the majority of men and having high standards for the men they fuck (how else do you think women stay low N?). Every damn week, there's a thread about how women using online dating reject the majority of men. DUH. If I gave a chance to every single man who hit on me, I would have a N-count of 1000s.
Low N count women having low libidos and not being open to non-vanilla sex. If a woman you are dating wants to wait 6 months before touching your dick in 2022, there's a reason for it, assuming she isn't a virgin. She's probably not strongly attracted to you, has severe sexual hangups or doesn't prioritise sex in general. I agree there is a correlation between promiscuity and cheating (high sex drive + impulsivity + desire for novelty). I also agree that there is a correlation between willingness to stay abstinent for long periods of time and low sex drives/general disinterest in sex.
Waiting for sex. Low N-count women don't fuck on date 3-5. Expect to wait a long time.

If you want a low N-count woman, then this is what you're signing up for. Deal with it.

pareidol14 · 2022-09-18T19:43:26+00:00

Albeit stated in a socially unacceptable manner, most of it makes sense. I know it takes an effort to hold yourself together discussing this, but still.

I also think "unwilling to have a romantic partner with past promiscuity" should be normalized as this recently became a thing more than people would anticipate and it definitely has based (yet overemphasized) arguments. But it's nearly impossible to discuss this anywhere decently as people on either side tend to get emotional and irrational.

downvotesanimals · 2022-09-19T00:19:06+00:00

I think anyone pretending to be "forced to justify" this sort of thing is pretending. Nobody's forcing anybody.

Altaccount011412 · 2022-09-19T01:04:16+00:00

FUCKING YES!

Holy shit. dating preferences don’t need to be justified since they are part of your own bodily autonomy. This isn’t like convincing your parents on why they should buy you a PC or some shit.

And I agree with your reasoning. For me personally, it doesn’t matter if you are some 10/10 IG model. If a bunch of guys have been inside you, I automatically find you not relationship material. That’s my own personal opinion tho. Some guys don’t care, some guys prefer a slut (not using that in a negative way btw), some guys want to be cucks, etc. Women don’t care about any of the previous 3 preferences, but the moment you say you don’t want a women that has slept around, it must mean that you hate women and you don’t see them as people. Nah, you can be your own person and live how you want to live, but that doesn’t mean I or other guys have to accept that.

Je_veux_troll1004 · 2022-09-18T21:10:03+00:00

I'd be more concerned with marrying a virgin. They will tire of you eventually and always wonder. Then they will want to experience more. Whereas someone who has had boyfriends before and slept with people before you (gasp) might know what they want better and be able to commit more. Probably know her body better and enjoy sex more as well lol. The original argument makes no sense. If I'm a virgin and the first person I fuck is the person I marry I am either incredibly sheltered or incredibly religious and neither bode well for the future when she decides to break free of those shackles. Basically men just want a guarantee that the woman they marry has integrity not to cheat or won't leave them? Why is it not enough to find someone you trust. Why are men so insecure that they want some kind of "guarantee" by marrying someone with no experience.

I would have the same argument as a woman marrying a virgin man. Like how could he possibly know what he likes when he has nothing to compare to and no experience? It's just so boring. I would hope enlightened people would know both sexes need the freedom to explore before they ultimately settle down into a commitment with trust and respect on both sides.

Like both sexes need to date around and gain experience before they can actually make a wise decision regarding their future partners. It's like settling down and getting married as a 20 year old. Eventually, you will grow out of each other and divorce.

HobbitShaker88 · 2022-09-19T16:21:49+00:00

I think people should be matched in their sexual values.

For instance, Im not into casual sex and when I dated, I weeded out men into casual sex. For me, casual sex is sleeping with someone you know for sure you dont want a relationship with. Sleeping with someone youre interested in dating more, and then it doesnt work out( they dump you, you find out a dealbreaking flaw they have, etc) doesnt count.

Im not compatible with someone who sleeps around or wants to wait for marriage (ive dated both types).

I actually dont disagree with you OP, the part where I lose most people is I believe the same can be said for men. They have done studies showing the more people you sleep with, the less you are able to pair-bond with them (for BOTH genders). I also think people wired for casual sex most of the time (not 100%) of the time, have traits that are bad for a LTR (including a combination of: impulsiveness, hedonism, superficiality, prone to getting bored easily, selfishness/struggle with temptation) and I'd prefer to not roll the dice with my future on that one.

However, todays society says its okay for men to do this and if they do, its because "boys will be boys" and hes "getting it out of his system" and he was just immature. When women do it, its an attack on her character. There seems to be this idea that manwhores can be reformed into great husbands but womenwhores cannot be reformed into great wives. I disagree.

A similar double standard I see in the child support and single parent forums here, is when a man abandons his child after they are born and they come back later wanting to get to know their kid and the mother isnt a fan of this, she is told "the guy grew up and deserves a chance, get over it" but dear lord if a woman abandoned her child and did that shes a bad person and doesnt deserve the chance. When women make mistakes, her character is attacked but men get more leniency.

Historical-System972 · 2022-09-20T11:58:32+00:00

>She's more likely to cheat

>We're predisposed from being cavemen to want to know who our partners are

>Marriage Statistics!!!

Those are all perfectly valid justifications.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-09-18T19:59:30+00:00

That first bullet point is misconstrued data. It shows that if a virgin starts having sexual partners (even one) she is more likely to cheat, which DUH if you are a virgin who is not in a relationship you have nobody to cheat on.

The second one, you are writing on Reddit about the nuances of sex and relationships, that is not caveman stuff, it's almost as though we have evolved as a species and use computers and read books.

The third one, people who have a high (or low for that matter) body count don't necessarily want to get married.

As far as a "high" body count being "gross", you may feel that way. Another person might consider 4 as a high body count. Another person might consider 10 a high body count. Another might not consider 50 to be a high body count since it only averages out three people a year for a couple of decades.

Some consider someone who has given ten blowjobs to ten different people but has never had intercourse as more appealing than someone who has had intercourse with only four different people.

Plenty of women are sexually attracted to short men (85% of US men are under 6', most are 5'7 or 5'9). Most of those in the US are one paycheck away from homelessness and yet almost everyone eventually gets laid/relationships and just about all those relationships begin with physical attraction.

Ask a flamboyantly gay man if he's ever been hit on by a straight woman. The answer is yes. Also plenty of gays getting play from other genders too.

Almost all people have had sex by 17 and almost all people have had more than three sexual partners by their 30s and yet they are still attracting plenty of people who are aware of their sexual history.

Your premises are false.

I honestly think that men (or anyone) who cares about "body counts" should put that on their dating profiles so everyone knows that they feel grossed out by people who have active sexual lives. Then they can find the small percentage of people who have not had sex.

Drougen · 2022-09-18T19:03:04+00:00

The reason men are unattracted to high body counts is because it's revealing. You're telling me you're 25 and have slept with 80 different dudes....and NONE Of them liked you enough to want to date you? In the famous words of women 🚩OMFG 🚩GURL🚩 RED 🚩FLAG 🚩

bunnakay · 2022-09-18T19:06:28+00:00

The worst kind of slut is a hypocritical slut.

TrappedInThisWorld_ · 2022-09-18T19:17:01+00:00

The whole thing is stupid because you can't tell how many men a girl has slept with, they can just lie. Also preferences don't have to be justified, you can't have a healthy relationship with somebody you don't actually want to date, yeah I know it fucking sucks but it is what it is

edgyny · 2022-09-18T23:44:08+00:00

The majority of men are sexually unattracted to women who have slept around.

This is completely wrong. We're certainly sexually attracted to them, just unwilling to commit.

You can see evidence of this in a number of biological facts. For example this is why males get drowsy after cumming. It's so we can pull the guy who just finished off the bicycle and have our turn.

FIVE_6_MAFIA · 2022-09-18T22:30:18+00:00

I just don't get how people are finding out women's body counts

2022-09-18T19:37:47+00:00

I somewhat agree with you, but also somewhat disagree with you.

I think there are many reasons why many men aren't keen on ladies with very high body counts, but I think it can be justified to an argumentative Karen very simply as: "my dick, my choice". Keep repeating it until they go away - or at least, that's how I handle it on Reddit!

I don't agree with you that "the majority of men are sexually unattracted to women who have slept around" - this sounds like an unsubstantiated and heavily echo-chambered manosphere claim. Out there, outside of the internet and in the real world, a high body count may be seen as a negative factor by many men, but it sure doesn't stop very sexually experienced women from dating. There are a whole range of men who are willing, one way or another, to date very sexually experienced women (and the reasons why greatly vary and are too long to discuss). I would urge you not to fall into the trap of projecting your own anger at promiscuous women and wishful thinking that they ultimately "pay the price", when you make claims like that. Reality differs.

dukesaces · 2022-09-19T01:20:34+00:00

It's gross. It's not attractive. It's like a revulsion in the pit of your stomach. Ew.

I 100% agree. I've had this conversation with people and have used statistical data and reasonable explanations for why i don't want a woman with a high body count and the retort i most often receive, when I tell people i wouldn't marry a woman with a high body count, is that I'll never really know and she could lie. That i could find the truth out after marriage.

Like that's how somehow normal behaviour? Starting a marriage out on a lie? Like it doesn't display extreme psychopathy and selfishness? Then, when I tell people I'd instantly divorce her over the lies they're all shocked and proceed to criticize me further.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-09-18T17:33:46+00:00

The majority of men don't really care. They wouldn't get sex without women who are willing to sleep around.

mouldysock100 · 2022-09-18T17:40:23+00:00

Men who don't get sex care about body count out of jealousy/inferiority. Men who don't want to sleep around care because of mismatched values. Men who also sleep around usually don't care. Not wanting to "justify" this preference generally means the first category of bitterness.

EmpressJJ · 2022-09-19T01:11:18+00:00

I totally agree. Same goes for guys, a high body count in men is unattractive. Men don‘t seem to realize that or don‘t want to. For some reason only women can be sluts and not liking a high body count in men is „insecure“. Nah. Let‘s look at your post and repeat that people don‘t need to justify anything. It‘s repulsive and gross. It doesn’t matter if you‘re the one fucking or the one getting fucked, it shows that you have no standards at all. Ew.

ruboyuri · 2022-09-18T18:15:09+00:00

No, I like my hypocrisy and sexism out in the open where I can see it

DRliveseyyy · 2022-09-19T00:42:46+00:00

Men and women aren’t the same. Almost any woman could sleep with 100 men in a month if she wanted to.

Saying “women should have the same sexual freedom as men” is a false equivalency. Most men don’t have any sexual freedom.

The. Reason. For. The. Double. Standard. Is. Because. It’s. Very. Easy. For. Women. To. Get. Laid. And. Very. Difficult. For. Men. To. Get. Laid.

Jesus Christ get the fuck over it. We’re not the same. Men who sleep around have achieved something most men aren’t capable of. Any woman can sleep around. It’s not an achievement.

waffleznstuff30 · 2022-09-18T21:48:42+00:00

I think a lot of it stems from western religious standards of sexuality. That sex is immoral and wrong and icky. And shouldn't be something enjoyed by women none the less. And it's just bled its way into more traditional/conservative ideals. Sex is bad and wrong so there should be consequences for having sex because it's gross and wrong. Since birth control kinda rids the body of unwanted results and condoms as well. They resort to the number because the amount of times and people women has had sex with should be some kind of permanent dark mark on their record and should have condemning consequences because sex is immoral wrong and and icky. Unless said man wants it and she better be ready to put out. Not looking at the circumstances of previous relationships and things like that, maybe they did have a venture into casual relations.

I think it's objectification, and definitely insecure behavior. Assuming a penis has that much power to strip apart someone's worth as a person. Like you as a person lose all your ability to love and care for a future partner because you had relations in the past? It seems like a creepy thought to me. People have pasts and it doesn't strip them of their ability to be decent partners if their relationships before didn't work well. If they want to be good partners for someone?

There are some people who don't even want to settle down, so they may have higher counts because they have casual or short term relationships so of course they would be marriage failures if they do tie the knot due to societal pressures and what have you that are happier single and don't want long term partners. Men or Women. Also in some instances people who are hypersexual have an underlying reason (past trauma and low self confidence) tend to sleep around and until they address their mental health but probably wouldn't be terrible partners once they got sorted out. I think body count is just a way to objectify and shame women for having sex because the ones that really care about it aren't really getting much themselves.

DullFigure5639 · 2022-09-18T18:32:47+00:00

Women’s body are not a commodity, it doesn’t “lose value”. It’s objectifying. People can have their own preferences but if they can’t accept that women are sexual beings , just like men, then it’s going to be hard for them to find someone. Each to their own though. I couldn’t date someone who would reject a woman based on that, it seems like it’s rooted in misogyny and double standards.

darkvalleys · 2022-09-18T18:21:04+00:00

No, I definitely want to know which dudes to avoid. Saves everyone time and effort

GVM3SnakeBeater · 2022-09-18T19:26:13+00:00

Communal bicycle women give me the ick.

Simple as.

Diddy_1978 · 2022-09-18T18:19:28+00:00

You prefer that, whatever, you do you. All the made up ‘they are all cheaters’ ‘they can’t hold a relationship’ ‘it’s man nature’, is all bs.

Summ1tv1ew · 2022-09-18T17:34:56+00:00

Agreed.

NPC feminists will say "but we live in different times . blah blah blah ." lmao

risdeveau · 2022-09-18T17:44:49+00:00

The hypocrisy remains regardless of justification

And women couldn’t be sluts without male sluttiness

Film2021 · 2022-09-18T23:12:35+00:00

I 100% agree with you… but I always hear “why does it matter?” Or “well I don’t care about YOUR number, so why do you care about mine?” or, and this is my personal favorite, “you’re just INSECURE!”

How do you typically respond to these retorts?

domdomdom333 · 2022-09-19T00:01:08+00:00

Yes but saying it's repulsive online doesn't mean much, because repulsive is a subjective answer. For an answer to be relative and understood by reference in any way, it has to be objective so most just state objective reasoning.

ShoCkEpic · 2022-09-19T02:15:25+00:00

since when men have to justify that?

who is asking men to justify that?

irl men have to struggle to date

it seems you are saying that men have so many dates that they can have the luxury to refuse? is this a joke?

if you have the chance to get on with an extremely hot girl? believe me you won’t care if she had sex the night before on not…

the only thing you want is to also be able to get intimate with her

( of course you have to wear protection, but i don’t need go precise that do i?)

Specialist-Action-33 · 2022-09-19T02:19:22+00:00

I don't think it really matters if a man and woman are within the same range of n-counts when they are trying to be in an LTR. It's mostly an issue when there is a significant difference in n-counts, with usually the woman having the higher number.

If body count doesn't matter, why are there stories about women lying about it or so quick to shut down the conversation about it?

2022-09-19T16:11:16+00:00

The woman version of the post got more awards fucking lame

Ohyarlysmiles · 2022-09-19T19:10:24+00:00

All these justifications are weak and obfuscate the real reason:

It's gross. It's not attractive. It's like a revulsion in the pit of your stomach. Ew.

Pointing to an irrational impulse as a 'reason' is really stretching the concept of 'reason.'

KamuiObito · 2022-09-20T22:53:05+00:00

They will cheat tho..you’d be a fool to think someone would value you off just brain chemistry they could also be lying about..mfs always use the what if they just are lying about body count you’d never know..that’s the same with cheating too..you wouldn’t know cuz they are gonna lie about it for the same reason they didn’t want to tell you their actually body count..yes there’s a group of women that lives like this..just like there men who cheat,lie and abuse

TigerChirp · 2022-09-22T09:02:55+00:00

I have a bunch of hot takes.

There’s a double standard for women being allowed to only want tall men but when men want a girl who isn’t fat, they are ridiculed. Therefore, I have a high body count but it’s still NOT ok for the woman to have a high body count. Yes. Another double standard. Sue me, it’s how the world works.
Women with high body count are low value because biologically, it means that the child count be from any partner. They don’t have any value to any particular father as the child will be unknown.
Men with high body count are high value because it means they have successfully birthed many offspring (biologically) which means his genes are successfully spread and it’s guaranteed to be his child. Again this is biologically speaking.

Everyone woman I’ve dated has a low body count. I make it clear that I have a high body count and they don’t mind. Why? I have value in many other ways 1. I’m a Plastic Surgeon 2. Very good looking and in very good shape. 3. Charismatic and has a lot of friends. 4. Can offer a very solid life and great sex.

You don’t have to have all of the above to provide value guys. Just offer value in other ways. But don’t let women tell you that men with high counts and women with high counts are equal. They never are and never will be. Period.

Jambi1913 · 2022-09-18T18:10:00+00:00

In a reply above you said you slept around before marriage. Were the women you slept around with before marriage “sluts”? How do you define a “slut” anyway - surely you can’t know a woman’s count without getting the numbers from her? Or knowing her sex life from long term observation?!

You say men are sexually unattracted to women with a high body count - but it seems more accurate to say that men are sexually attracted to women they find sexually attractive, but they are perhaps not romantically attracted to “sluts”?

Many, many men will sleep with women they know nothing about - no idea of her history at all. That doesn’t seem like they find high n women “revolting” - because they don’t necessarily know a woman is high n? But they may become interested in her sexual history when they start considering greater time and emotional investment. That’s when I can imagine the “ew” feeling might come in telling him she’s perhaps not a wise “investment” for the future.

WillfulGrapefruit · 2022-09-18T19:38:43+00:00

This sounds too much like a logical fallacy to me..."I feel it, so it must be true.". Or, in this case, "I feel icky about women who have what I consider to be too many sexual partners. Therefore those women are icky.".

I've absolutely met people who had a lot of sex because they were working through some trauma. But I've also met people who have lots of sex because...it feels...good? And they have a great relationship with themselves, their body, and other people.

I know it fits into the narrative for some people to imagine that those with rigorous sex lives are damaged and gross. It helps them feel superior. Maybe protects them from feelings of insecurity or inadequacy. But I feel like this attitude is far more reflective of that person's unhealthy relationship with sex and their self esteem than any real reflection of reality.

Swapsta · 2022-09-18T18:05:14+00:00

Yes this is why women lie

poppy_blu · 2022-09-18T19:00:29+00:00

They need to stop acting like anyone cares IRL.

ProfessorFelix0812 · 2022-09-19T00:08:25+00:00

Like you clowns are ever going to know her true “body count”. She could be sucking off half the Dallas Cowboys, and tell you she’s only had sex with one dude other than you, and you’d never know the difference.

I swear this sub is dominated by socially awkward dudes that have never had a girlfriend.

jlord42069 · 2022-09-18T18:25:28+00:00

Im already there. If you're out there arguing with women you're just wasting energy

Comfortable-Unit-897 · 2022-09-18T19:26:50+00:00

High count is wayyy down the list of qualifications.

henryXsami99 · 2022-09-18T20:49:11+00:00

I mean, sexually attractive =\= wife or dating material, you still can be sexually attracted to some with high body count and it doesn't mean you are willing to be with them

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-09-18T19:11:49+00:00

If men don’t want to date a women with a high body count that’s fine, but then they themselves must also not sleep around and want to wait for a ltr before sex.

It goes both ways

ManWazo · 2022-09-18T17:45:17+00:00

A minority of men are sexually unattracted to women who have slept around

Fixed. Its true that you dont have to justify your preference, but dont pretend to speak for "the majority of men".

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-09-18T20:51:05+00:00

Probably just an evolutionary defense against spending resources on kids that aren’t yours. Nothing any more wrong with that than with the female urge to find a man who will actually invest resources on their children rather than just running off to impregnate the next woman. Fair.

CommieRedEyes · 2022-09-18T20:15:38+00:00

That’s fine. You’re allowed to have preferences, just don’t shame those who don’t adhere to that lifestyle. Don’t refer to women who engage is casual sex or who have had more than one partner as “used up whores”.

NegotiationNo717 · 2022-09-18T18:58:01+00:00

I agree. I don’t think anyone should explain their standards or preferences. Don’t cry to the rest of us us if you can’t get it.

Have all the standards and preferences you want my guy. I personally would never date or fuck a male virgin. Your preferences are your preferences.

throwaway164_3 · 2022-09-18T19:02:07+00:00

There are evolutionary reasons why men are turned off from female promiscuity, to do with paternity and risk their genes are not passed on.

There are also evolutionary reasons why females are promiscuous (to lower aggression from new alpha and protect their offspring). This is why in some primates, like Hanuman langurs, the new alpha kills all the infants of the previous leader when he joins the group. The females who have sex with a large number of males have a better chance their offspring is not killed, if one of the other males someday becomes the leader.

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2022-09-18T21:06:58+00:00

Hear me out, I don't think them being gross is even in the list of reasons, we simply don't think about it that much and who cares about it as long as we're getting what we want, if she tells us then sure but it's not important at all.

2022-09-19T03:17:25+00:00

why does it need to be men lmao im a woman and thats what i think about men with high body counts

2022-09-19T03:43:09+00:00

My answer for this:

High n gives men the ick. It's not rational, just like a man living in his mom's basement isn't a rational reason to give women the ick. But here we are.

resultsmatter1 · 2022-09-19T08:29:44+00:00

So many triggered women by this post. Women don’t have to justify a plethora of preferences and the same should be extended to men but of course you lot are labeling this like other criticisms whatever comes to mind.

Sleeping around for any woman in todays society requires no effort. It doesn’t make you special. It communicates you have bad judgement. It’s fine for fwb or casual but I’d never seriously date or wife a high N count woman.

BridgeBurner22 · 2022-09-19T13:39:58+00:00

It's gross. It's not attractive. It's like a revulsion in the pit of your stomach.

You are so close, but still not there. Evolution has made us grossed out by certain things because they represent negative experiences or outright danger.

Hairy spider > possibly lethal bite > evolution made sure we are grossed out so we don't go near.

Slithering noodle on the floor > possibly lethal bite from snake > grossed out so we don't go near.

Female promiscuous behavior > big chance of getting cucked and not reproducing yourself, which is equal to evolutionary death > grossed out so we don't go near.

Survival is not just staying alive, real survival means passing on your genes. Something that's harder to do with a promiscuous partner. Therefore evolution has made sure men (who are the only ones in danger of not knowing they did not reproduce) are repulsed by promiscuous female behaviors. The repulsion is there not just because, but to protect us.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-09-18T22:01:52+00:00

Eh slightly disingenuous. You're covering the primary motivation for talking about "n counts": shaming women so they don't sleep with who they want out of fear. You know bringing back the old days, linking women's value to their chastity.

Most men here are happy to be very vocal about not wanting a slutty slut unprompted. Which, okay and sometimes we're genuinely curious if it's for some screwball reason we haven't heard. But it's the boring same.

takethelovepill · 2022-09-19T00:37:28+00:00

Doesn’t stop you from sleeping with them anyway does it?

Bolizen · 2022-09-18T21:43:58+00:00

"it's gross" is also weak especially since you can't substantiate it

Makaveli676 · 2022-09-18T22:01:27+00:00

Always said this, it’s a widespread, irrational instinct for men. No need to explain. Women, either comply or find a man who doesn’t mind, which tend to be lower value man.

EugeneCezanne · 2022-09-18T23:34:30+00:00

This is a loser mentality. The effort would be better spent getting over the insecurities that provoke the emotional reaction.

It's gross. It's not attractive. It's like a revulsion in the pit of your stomach. Ew.

Do you find it interesting how some men really don't care at all? I personally find this whole aversion to "high" n-count women more typical of low n-count men than high ones.

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-09-18T18:21:55+00:00

It’s not gross. Every woman you meet over like 20 has a sex life, whether your involved in it or not, you aren’t disgusted by them just by knowing it.

You wouldn’t even turn down sex with them if you knew that the sex was completely no strings attached. You would have sex with a slut if she’s attractive.

It’s only about how 1. No one wants to pay a higher cost ( commitment ) for the same sex other people got for less. 2. No one wants to be compared to other men. 3. No one wants to think of the woman that they put on a pedestal as a slut with other men ( a regular woman) 4. The traits that cause women to sleep around usually aren’t conducive to a long term relationship. 5. ( the most important one to me) the image associated with being with a woman who everyone knows gets around, or that other men you know have been with, is embarrassing and “ unmanly”

Overarching_Chaos · 2022-09-18T18:12:51+00:00

Depends on how n count is. If it is moderately high, you are still sexually attracted to her, but you wouldn't consider her as a potential partner. If her n count is very high, then yeah you begin to lose physical attraction as well.

I've only met a girl with an n count of 50+ men (that I know of) once. She was so blunt and open about how she had fucked half a football team and how she was dating 4 guys at the same time, that I was physically disgusted. Even though at the time I hadn't had sex in a while, I wouldn't touch her...

2022-09-18T21:26:48+00:00

Its not gross. That is all in your head.

kdkdkd64664 · 2022-09-19T01:17:08+00:00

You guys literally do whine and cry and ask women why they don’t like short guys or broke guys but go off my insecure king. If you want a woman with a low partner count, great! Good for you, I hope you find her. But don’t bitch and moan that it shrinks your dating pool by a large margin when this is a criteria you choose.

Title	Men need to stop justifying why they don't want to date women with high body counts
Author	DesperateTraffic3164
Upvotes	588
Comments	485
Date	September 18, 2022 5:24 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xhmkgy/men_need_to_stop_justifying_why_they_dont_want_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-need-to-stop-justifying-why-they-dont-want-to.1132571 https://theredarchive.com/post/1132571

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