If a man wouldn’t want the women in his life being in porn, then his feelings about porn are pretty anti-porn.

naomidusk · 2024-02-25T22:58:48+00:00

I was always confused about this issue until I understood the difference between a man's sexual attraction and who he is willing to date.

Men quietly (or maybe loudly) play a status game against other men around who is with the most exclusive catch of a woman. They want their friends to think their woman is not only extremely desirable, but very choosy, and she chose him - making him very special. A winner.

This is why many men feel very torn about dating a woman who has a promiscuous past, or has done things like porn - even if she is incredibly attractive, he completely loses the "exclusive woman" status game. There is nothing special about her choosing him because plenty of other men have had her, or even "could" have her.

Men see it as low status for a man to be with a woman has been sexually available to many other men - there is no feat or accomplishment there. For this reason, men will gladly sleep with a wide variety of women quietly, but may be much more selective about who he dates publicly. Similarly, he has no problem watching women in porn, but that definitely doesn't translate into willingness to date her.

This standard applies to other women in his life too, such as his sister or mother - you'll notice that anytime a woman says she is both a mother and an OF model, men immediately jump to call her selfish for the bullying that will be inflicted on her child (especially if she has a son). It is a classic bullying tactic to say that someone's mom is a whore, to diminish his status by proxy.

philseven12 · 2024-02-25T22:38:54+00:00

I like watching women fight at waffle house, but I don't want to see my sister or auntie fight at wafflehouse.

I'm pro wafflehouse

treadmarks · 2024-02-25T23:36:48+00:00

This is nonsense. I'm just gonna jump straight to an analogy because it's too funny. Truck drivers have a divorce rate of 40% because they are constantly away from home. This is the second highest divorce rate of any industry. It is a statistical fact that women do not want to be married to truck drivers.

Women seem to want to go shopping, but they don't want the men in their lives to make shopping or society as a whole possible. I demand that you self-exile yourself from society due to your regressive attitudes towards truck drivers.

calIras · 2024-02-26T06:21:56+00:00

Are female porn performers attracted to guys who watch porn daily?

noxiouslittleman · 2024-02-26T03:56:30+00:00

I disagree. Men see porn the way that college educated, white collar women see blue collar workers. We consume porn but we don't want the pornstar as our wives or girlfriends or mothers and sisters, the same way that white collar women may pay a plumber to unclog their pipes (no pun intended) or a sanitation worker to collect their garbage but they aren't interested in dating or marrying the plumber or sanitation worker and nor do they want their sons or brothers to become them. This doesn't mean that these women are anti plumbing or garbage collection and similarly it doesn't mean that men are anti porn.

It's more of a status thing and a personal ick thing. People that get into sex work have low social status and youd lose your social standing by dating or being related to them. Just like how blue collar workers have low social status among the white collar crowd and are looked down upon which is why most white collar women, unfairly, refuse to date such men and are embarrassed if their relatives do blue collar work. There's also other factors such as sex workers seeing sex as a transactional thing that damages their approach to sex in committed relationships, the high chance of STIs and drug abuse (which is common in the industry), the high rate of infidelity etc which have nothing to do with being anti porn either.

catdog7676 · 2024-02-25T23:41:57+00:00

I think it's really just that with the media we are exposed to every day, it's easy to disassociate when viewing through digital mediums.

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-02-25T22:43:02+00:00

False equivalency because men and women aren't the same.

There's plenty of things I like that I wouldn't like my partner to be into. I like MMA but wouldn't date a female MMA star for example. That would probably be the biggest turn off I could think of.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-02-25T23:51:00+00:00

Madonna Whore strikes again. Ideally they want ~80% of women to be chaste marriageable mothers to their children and ~20% to be sluts they can use but not commit to.

iSubParMan · 2024-02-25T23:21:20+00:00

I like watching couples create amateur porn. Wholesome.

Kentaro009 · 2024-02-26T00:59:56+00:00

You don't want your plumber doing your taxes. It is the same principle.

Preme2 · 2024-02-25T22:52:24+00:00

We need policemen and the military, but I wouldn’t rather my family not be involved, especially in a combat role. That doesn’t mean I’m anti military as my tax dollars are still contributing. I support the veterans and thank them for their service.

Do you support the military? Would you go be on the front line?

Safinated · 2024-02-25T23:32:08+00:00

Yes, that is how exploitation works. You like the results; the process, not so much

reise123rr · 2024-02-26T01:35:31+00:00

I know that I hate porn because I use it so much that I wish I never found porn when I was a tween. Many men are like this in my experience and they too want to be freed from porn. The people who introduced it were just capitalistic dweebs who wanted to profit from men essentially.

angelbaby933 · 2024-02-25T22:47:29+00:00

It does come across like men don’t really recognise women he’s not directly associated with as human. Like men who only start caring about women’s issues after they have a daughter.

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SignifyingNothing5 · 2024-02-26T15:08:12+00:00

I think it's a lot like women who genuinely are not homophobic being uncomfortable dating a man who is bisixual or who has some history of se with other men.

It could also be that porn is in the realm of fantasy, a fantasy some people don't want too close to their reality.

kalecikkarasi · 2024-02-26T15:41:56+00:00

I love basketball, I enjoy watching it, but I don’t like to play it. I’m pro gay rights but I’m no gay. I enjoy porn, I respect sex workers, but I’m not a pornstar and I won’t date one. It’s not complicated?

r2k398 · 2024-02-25T23:20:21+00:00

I like watching MMA but I would never want a family member or even myself to be an MMA fighter.

spanglesandbambi · 2024-02-25T22:38:18+00:00

The views on watching porn and being in porn is massively different due to our current culture.

Until doing porn legitimately is seen as a career and not a poor woman being exploited and is in a bad place, it's not going to change.

Keepora · 2024-02-25T22:55:02+00:00

What is NSA? I somehow doubt is means National Security Agency. Lol

lovestocomment · 2024-02-26T09:06:42+00:00

I'm starting to wonder if the people who make these posts actually think before they post... The more I read this subreddit, the more I'm convinced that both the men and women on here are freaking clueless about the opposite sex and their nature.

I don't know if it's low effort into actually getting to know the opposite sex. Or if you folks are just inept.

Anyway, I'll be grabbing my popcorn and going through the comments. I'm sure I'll lose a few brain cells reading the responses but I guess it's worth laugh.

darktourist92 · 2024-02-26T11:36:05+00:00

I never understand the logic behind this reasoning.

It’s widely accepted that there are people we would happily have sex with but not form long term relationships with for a myriad of reasons.

I would sleep with a woman who, for example, has a gambling addiction. However, I wouldn’t want a long term-relationship with her because that brings a lot of problems that I don’t want to deal with.

This doesn’t make me anti-gambling. If she wants to gamble, it’s her right to do as she chooses.

Why is it any different for sex workers?

SamuraiGoblin · 2024-02-25T23:55:05+00:00

I suspect you don't want your son to be a road-sweeper, but you like the fact that there are men who sweep roads.

I doubt you are anti-sewage systems, anti-oil-rigs, and anti-military, despite liking the fact that all those things exist and the vast majority of their workers are male, while simultaneously not wanting the men in your life to work there.

Commercial-Formal272 · 2024-02-26T01:09:58+00:00

I like to watch cars in demolition derbies, but I wouldn't want my car put in one, and I wouldn't buy a car that went through one for my normal driving needs.
Most people have things they enjoy watching, that they would not want to be personally involved in or have directly in their lives.

Crash-Panda · 2024-02-26T01:55:04+00:00

This contradiction is real and I agree that men who want to consume porn but get upset when women do porn, are hypocritical.

What confuses me though, is why feminists oppose the nofap movement. The men in the nofap movement would get upset if women in their lives did porn, but they put their money where their mouth is, and don't consume porn. I thought women didn't want porn addicted men. Nofap gets a bad rap but it's mostly about men (and women) dealing with porn addiction, not some right wing "if I don't jack off I'll gain super powers" type stuff.

wtknight · 2024-02-26T00:01:08+00:00

I'm not sure that this follows. If he is fine with masturbating to other women in porn, but doesn't want his own partner to be involved in it, how would this make him "anti-porn"?

Remember, men often have "madonna/whore" complexes. It's okay to them that some women are "whores" as long as enough of them, including his partner, is a "madonna" (except with him privately in the bedroom).

Sargeras13 · 2024-02-26T00:13:51+00:00

You're missing basic binary here, you can indulge in something, but not participate in it, sure i like movies, but im not gonna cast myself in one, similarly i enjoy a burger, but that wouldn't be my job, you can enjoy a medium and not be interested in being part of it.

Kind-Dare7852 · 2024-02-26T01:13:32+00:00

I care more about the women in my life than I do strangers I have no connection to.

Catonicgin · 2024-02-26T00:26:42+00:00

My mother never wanted me to join the military, she is not anti military. She has married veterans

She’s not necessarily pro military either. But her not wanting me to join the military doesn’t mean she thinks lowly of the military or is anti military

Minimalist12345678 · 2024-02-26T00:28:28+00:00

I mean, no.

I don't want the woman in my life cleaning toilets for a living, or driving a truck, or being in the army, or any of a load of other shitty jobs. I definitely still want clean toilets everywhere I go, things delivered in trucks, and my country protected by women, and all the other shit jobs done!

It just aint the same.

matt675 · 2024-02-26T04:48:54+00:00

Stay away from any man who openly talks about enjoying porn. The men who do struggle with it are not proud of it, and most are well aware of how sick the industry is which just adds to their shame

triple_skyfall · 2024-02-26T09:21:57+00:00

Another insane blue pill mental gymnastics post.

This shouldn't be an issue though. As blue pillers you come equipped with personality detectors, so you should be able to sense your partner's porn-watching habits.

Turbulent-Tonight975 · 2024-02-26T17:43:50+00:00

This post is ridiculous. Wanting a relationship with someone who isn't screwing other people is not anti-porn. It is simply wanting someone who is intimate with you as you also commit to just being intimate with them.

There is a huge difference in having a libertarian approach that maybe just because I don't want something, or like it, doesn't mean that we should make it so nobody should do it. If a man or woman freely and willfully wants to do porn and understands the consequences of their actions, they that is there decision. This has nothing to do with myself viewing any woman who has done porn as someone I would never consider dating. For my life, and professionally, I cannot be associated with a woman who is in porn, or has been previously.

Neptune-Jnr · 2024-02-25T23:55:21+00:00

Not really. It's about boundaries and how view sex itself. Being not okay with people dicking down your SO on camera is pretty reasonable. Being ok with other people filming and uploading their nudes to the internet. How would that make you anti-porn?

TheHammer987 · 2024-02-26T00:47:39+00:00

The problem with this thought process - attraction and desire isn't based on the mathematics of current society. Sure, men enjoy porn. And they don't want their spouses to be involved in porn. Sure, from a society wide perspective, it doesn't make a ton of sense. Except...for a long time, societies that grow the fastest suppress porn and made it the most shameful.

Like, social shape and individual attraction aren't always lined up.

abaxeron · 2024-02-26T01:48:16+00:00

The math is not at odds at all, since women almost never create erotic literature, animations, or comics aimed at male audience; i.e. there are entire media of porn that don't involve female content creators at all. You're just deliberately misinterpreting what the term "porn" means. The earliest anti-porn international law predates the Internet by six decades, and covers way more than just live-action photos and videos.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Convention_for_the_Suppression_of_the_Circulation_of_and_Traffic_in_Obscene_Publications

I'm neither "pro" nor "anti" live action "actresses" and "models" getting drilled on camera, and will not care a single bit if this entire industry gets nuked from orbit. But as a normal person living in real world, I know that puritans never stop there.

Luciansleep · 2024-02-25T23:43:50+00:00

By this argument do you agree that women are the most pro child labor people if they keep buying purses and clothes from companies that indulge in that?

Common_Hamster_8586 · 2024-02-26T04:04:22+00:00

People are multi-dimensional. Someone can both hate something and indulge in it. The only thing it does is allude to weak morals. Someone else said it simply.. you can eat meat and still hate animal cruelty. What does that change in the person? Nothing. What does that change in you knowing about that? The same thing it does when you see someone be against alcohol but still drink. They’re just weak.

foxsheepgato · 2024-02-26T11:28:31+00:00

"Women want me to be nice to other women. But then my wife and girlfriend get upset when I get another girlfriend on the side!"

Cool_Ranch_2511 · 2024-02-25T23:00:41+00:00

Not really. I'm pro porn only because the women in that industry are women I don't much care about, so it doesn't affect me at all.

If a woman in my life decided to do porn, I wouldn't be anti porn, I'd just cut them out of my life.

Grouchy_Cookie_7813 · 2024-02-25T23:01:59+00:00

People in porn don’t have self respect .. my wife has self respect .. so yes I wouldn’t want her doing porn. Same goes for NSA.

Lovers691 · 2024-02-25T23:02:15+00:00

Those two situations are not the same, watching porn and being in porn. For the scenario to be the same it will have to be both sexes doing porn.

drok007 · 2024-02-26T00:50:46+00:00

I disagree with this, it completely neglects ingroup/outgroup. If I was a barbarian raider, and I killed all the men in a village and I could have my way with the women who are now slaves, they would not be in the same class as the women in my family, who would be protected from this. Obviously, we don’t have to go this extreme, but ingroup/outgroup still applies for sex workers vs. family and friends.

I guess you could say it’s a rare NAWALT.

giveuporfindaway · 2024-02-25T23:32:52+00:00

This has really only been solved throughout history in two ways:

Men died in war. There was a surplus of women. This allowed men to go to prostitutes and have their unvarnished wife.
A subset of men became bachelors and only slept with escorts. These men did not desire a wife.

Inevitable-Log9197 · 2024-02-26T05:51:25+00:00

Yes, I do watch porn but wouldn’t date a woman who does porn. Yes, I’m a hypocrite, so what?

bzl33 · 2024-02-26T00:40:40+00:00

They fear being shamed by society. Strangers are mean spirited, people get made fun of for how they look or how rich they are, ofc they will get made fun of for their partner's profession if it's prostitution, pornography, or stripping. A lot of guys are against it though because their lifestyles/views are so different from people in these fields.

Both men and women worry about societal shaming anyway, it's apart of living amongst people. I think it's less "anti" and more "not wanting to be associated with" if that makes sense.

PMmeareasontolive · 2024-02-26T00:42:09+00:00

Men seem to want porn, but men don’t want the women in their lives doing porn.

There's a difference between watching and doing. Those guys probably would like it if their girlfriends were into watching porn (tho of course the women would choose gay or lesbian porn probably ¯\_(ツ)

Similarly, men seem to want NSA sex from women, but they don’t want the women in their lives participating in NSA sex.

"Men seem to" if you focus on those men that do. And in that case I agree with you that those men shouldn't have a prob if the women they get with have the same values. But of course men, like women, run the gamut from demisexuality to hook up culture.

Furthermore, if you’re not okay with the women in your life sexing on camera for mass public consumption, then imo you’re anti porn.

While I disagree a bit in detail, I think I might mostly agree with you there. She's like a sex worker, whom you are accessing in that role. So it does seem a little hypocritical to say "I approve of sex work but I don't want to date a sex worker", if you use their services. Is it? I'm not sure.

You certainly aren’t “pro porn” if the thought of the women in your life being in porn unnerves you.

There is a big difference between porn produced for a mass audience (as you mentioned earlier) and homemade porn. I think almost everyone makes homemade porn at some point in their life, so that isn't really so unnerving.

How about if we do a gender switch; is it ok for a woman to like watching porn but not want to date a porn actor?

I guess this boils down to attitudes about NSA sex; you can not want your partner to have indulge in swaths of NSA sex, but still find it hot when you see someone doing it on camera. I think that's because you're human, if you're really all that concerned with people's humanity.

Ppdebatesomental · 2024-02-26T01:20:43+00:00

Nah. Here’s my analogy, I like drugs, but I don’t want to date a drug dealer. Hell, I love music too, but have had my fill of dating musicians. How you want to be entertained and who you want to date have very little commonality.

CasseroleTruck · 2024-02-26T04:38:48+00:00

Men use porn to get off. The analogy isn't perfect here but a lot of women whether they admit it or not see the appeal in men spending a lot of money on them but wouldn't want the men they care about in their lives, their brothers, sons, friends etc. to be used in the same way or as an asexual wallet.

flextov · 2024-02-26T04:40:55+00:00

Yes. I don’t like porn, hookups, boozing, or partying. I don’t do those things.

Inevitable-Log9197 · 2024-02-26T06:08:44+00:00

If a woman watches porn but doesn’t want to date a person who was involved in porn (as long as she doesn’t speak lowly or denigrate them), is she a hypocrite too?

Total_Yankee_Death · 2024-02-26T06:51:10+00:00

The vast majority of humans are self-interested to some extent, you're enforcing a ridiculously high standard for logical consistency. Individuals who are ordinarily pro-conscription during a defensive war may change their minds if their son gets conscripted, individuals who are ordinarily anti-abortion may change their minds if their daughter needs one, individuals who are ordinarily pro-death penalty may change their minds if a family member commits a capital crime, etc.

It's understandable that people would make exceptions to their broader views if situations arise where they would negatively affect those close to them.

HODL_monk · 2024-02-26T06:51:45+00:00

Its pure hypocrisy, and that is the norm with human sexuality. Lots of people like porn, but won't tell the world about it, because there is a stigma attached to it. The math of porn is not at odds with the number of men and women, because a few top tier beauties can make all the porn for all the other fat slobs, and thus your wife and mother don't have to be in any porn, to still have bajillions of porn videos full of beautiful people, with only a tiny subset of the total population making all the porn.

frappuccinoCoin · 2024-02-26T07:41:42+00:00

Women like the streets clean but would never date the men who pickup the garbage.

Dressed2Thr1ll · 2024-02-26T10:22:40+00:00

It’s a class system. They need two classes of women: the “lower” class they can mock, abuse, and masturbate to (which is part of the arousal - the degradation, which is why ‘innocence broken’ is such a prevalent porn genre.)

The second class is the “good” class of women that they might masturbate to but also must outwardly show public respect.

Make no mistake; most men think any girl is a potential sex conquest if they have enough money. This is a belief system. Every girl is a potential prostitute in Late Capitalist Patriarchy. The difference is price.

This gives them the power to some degree to push women from one class to the other, downward, as well. It’s why they like to see a good fall.

If women are seen as important as their use value, this caste system makes perfect sense as well.

It’s not even a conspiracy. It’s a joke. Remember this classic line that the character Jerry said on Seinfeld about a woman comedian character ?

“She DOES stink. And she SHOULD quit. But I don't want it to be because of me. It should be the traditional route: Years of rejections and failures 'til she's spit out the bottom of the porn industry.”

This is it. From the mouth of the man who was in his 30s dating a 17 year old

Spare-Estimate5596 · 2024-02-26T14:10:55+00:00

This is not the gotcha women think it is. I mean you eat at McDonald’s but would you date a man that only ever wanted to be a fry cook? If you son was 45 and a cashier at McDonald’s would you be proud of him or would you want him to achieve more.

bottleblank · 2024-02-26T01:17:10+00:00

Needs must. If I had a partner to express my natural drives with then I wouldn't need porn, would I? What do you expect me to do, pretend I have no sexual desires? Gatekeeping sexual exploration, are we?

Besides, I prefer solo material. Why would I want to watch a man who isn't me trying to hammer drill a woman's vagina to oblivion?

ComfortableOk5003 · 2024-02-26T01:34:18+00:00

I wouldn’t date a nurse or flight attendant either doesn’t mean I’m anti nurse lol

Cell-Based-Meat · 2024-02-26T06:07:48+00:00

This does not mean they’re anti porn it means they’re anti women lol.

If you were anti-porn, you would not consume it. Why create the demand for something you don’t agree with? Men don’t want women in their lives sleeping around or doing porn because they don’t view promiscuous women as deserving of respect.

Sadsad0088 · 2024-02-26T09:35:57+00:00

I find bisexual men a turnoff, but I am pro gay rights and will fight for their right to do whatever hetero couples can do.

Just because I wouldn’t marry or have sex with a bisexual guy doesn’t mean I do not respect them.

Conscious_Air_8675 · 2024-02-25T23:07:09+00:00

Watching cars race and drift around a track is awesome. Guys would love to rent that car for an hour and rip it around but none would actually buy a car that’s been used like that. Extremely unpractical in day to day life, tons of problems, everyone’s always looking and wanting a ride.. lol

rcsauvag · 2024-02-26T13:29:50+00:00

I don't want my son to join the military, but still see the need for it. Then again, I would consider myself in general anti-war.

rma5690 · 2024-02-26T15:18:12+00:00

This is basically the same crap commies get for owning a phone. There are nuances to this stuff, so I'll just say this; There is no ethical consumption under women's liberation.

External_Pomelo939 · 2024-02-25T22:51:17+00:00

Men don’t have an issue with the woman they’re with having NSA sex in the past so long as they also get to have NSA sex with her.

ComfortableOk5003 · 2024-02-26T02:42:38+00:00

People please don’t feed the troll

SteveSan82 · 2024-02-26T04:37:11+00:00

It’s fantasy. It’s fun to watch but we don’t want to LTR sluts and whores

Slow_and_Scared · 2024-02-26T06:26:03+00:00

This is a pretty complex issue that OP wants to simplify.

My personal take is that humans are not perfectly logical creatures because feelings are pretty illogical. True - some feelings can be rooted or rather be influenced by cultural, gender, upbringing etc etc values.

This debate has some similarities to that of a somewhat common take about meat consumption: If a person partakes in eating meat then surely that dictates that said person would have no problem swinging the axe to gain said meat? Sure sounds very logical but is it really that simple?

I have no idea if there are any studies about this exact assumption/questioning that is presented in the original post but if OP wants to get some insight you could probably find some anthropology studies about the subject (or other social studies) of gender views of sex, sex work and relationships. Hope you don't mind me saying I think it's assumption because I don't really see any definitive proof that this is the actual truth of the subject and not OPs personal beliefs. It's obvious there's a difference on how genders view sex work and the "takes" will always be logical / illogical, that's just how social creatures are.

I have flaws, a logical response would be to work those flaws out but the illogical side of me will hinder it because of undefined "feelings".

I wouldn't really be more "pro-porn" if it was my any men in my life than women - would I judge them differently? Probably. Is that right/fair? No. Am I conscious enough to know that's wrong? Yes. Do I wish I would be perfectly sound in all my takes? Yes.

Pointing out illogical views is easy to do but does it give anything worthwile? Not really is my current understanding. This discussion doesn't only involve feelings but also how men percievs their's and others status' (as the original post is about how men views on porn and pornmaking), sex and promuscity and most likely a whooooooole lot of different aspects that I'm way to dumb to even recognise. What would be more worthwile in my eyes would be to stop adding on to all the misinformation that gets bombarded everywhere.

Sadly I think this current era of blue/red pill movements are more damaging than any other recent cultural shift regarding genders and roles. Wouldn't suprise me there's alot of unnecessary anxiety, anger or any other negative emotion damaging people's personal life because they/someone in their life has a very crooked view of other gender(s) and their roles. Alot of the these "truths" from these movements are (what I believe) not based on any actual truth but rather "feelings/takes" that is being parrorted so often that susceptible young people takes these "truths" without any grain of salt and assumes that is how it is because "this person said so and not only that but so and so also said it".

Maybe I'm becoming somewhat to old and every day just makes me more afraid of all these new things popping up all around me and I only miss the "good old days" when those darn kids would keep it down and keep away from my goddang lawn!

PS I don't own a lawn :( Also I hope I don't come off to snarky I have no ill intention with this comment.

obviousredflag · 2024-02-26T14:02:51+00:00

I am eating meat but i don't want to butcher animals. This is not a contradiction. Just as watching porn and not wanting a girlfriend who does porn is not a contradiction.

Furthermore, it's not "men" who don't like women who have NSA sex. It's SOME men and there is no problem if those men refrain from engaging with NSA women. There are more men who have no issues with women who have casual sex than women who do have lots of casual sex.

his_purple_majesty · 2024-02-26T14:23:20+00:00

Men seem to want porn, but men don’t want the women in their lives doing porn.

So?

moosemc · 2024-02-26T14:28:05+00:00

Porn is what men masturbate to.

Women are enraged at the idea of men masturbating. But complaining about it makes them look like puritans.

So they criticize porn instead.

But women hate that you're masturbating.

AbysmalDescent · 2024-02-26T15:28:20+00:00

This reasoning is like saying "if a woman doesn't want to date a minimum wage worker, they are against any industry that employs minimum wage workers and can't shop at Walmart". Does not sound like a very consistent argument. You can watch consume porn and not want to date porn stars, in the same way that you can consume milk and not want to date a trucker.

There's a very clear disconnect here between watching someone you don't know having sex and being okay with your partner having sex with other people. They are two very different things, and the fact that this has to be explained to someone, presumably an adult, seems kind of wild.

Men wanting casual sex with women but also do not want those women to go have casual sex with other men is another topic entirely. Is this hypocritical? Yes but there's other cultural factors involved as well. The fact that there are equal amounts of men and women is kind of irrelevant, because we also do not live in a culture where every person is having sex and has equal access to partners.

Crafty_Letter_1719 · 2024-02-26T15:37:49+00:00

Human beings( both men and woman) are often contradictory and even hypothetical about lots of things related to relationships and sexual attraction.

This is a bit like saying most woman are anti-sanitation worker because a large section of woman would be put off dating a garbage collection man even though he arguably does the most valuable job in all of society. As with most things related to dating and attraction; men and women’s preferences are usually dictated by evolutionary biology rather than morality or social mores.

Most men don’t want to date sex workers(despite regularly consuming porn) in terms of a serious relationships because men have evolved to be repulsed by promiscuously in the context of finding a partner to raise a family with. This doesn’t mean he is morally against promiscuity or sex work in general just that women that engage in such activities are a massive red flag( in terms of the lizard brain he can’t control) when it comes to finding a mother for his children. The evolutionary reasons for this are very obvious.

Likewise a woman that is inherently more attracted to a shady, self serving but incredibly wealthy finance bro over a sanitation worker is also under the control of her lizard brain. She uses and needs sanitation workers just like everybody else but her evolutionary obsession with status and resources means she is more attracted to a rich sociopath than an honest and valuable garbage man.

Hard_Corsair · 2024-02-26T15:44:22+00:00

I suppose that's correct from a certain framework, but I question whether it's a useful one. In my opinion, you're anti-porn if you advocate for banning it, and pro-porn if you oppose a ban.

MattPayneWrestler · 2024-02-26T15:46:27+00:00

I mean, its like watching war, or playing a violent video game. You wouldn’t want ur loved ones in those situations either

shadowrangerfs · 2024-02-26T16:34:53+00:00

Don't over think it. Just apply the logic to any other job. Just because you support or respect a profession doesn't mean you want to be with someone who does it.

You can be pro military but not want to date someone in the military.

You can respect teachers but not want to marry a teacher.

You can understand the importance of doctors but not want to be with a doctor.

Linvaderdespace · 2024-02-26T17:55:36+00:00

Does this dynamic express itself in other respects?

if you use drugs, but wouldn’t marry a dealer, are you anti drug?

if you take the bus, but wouldn’t date the bus driver, are you anti public transport?

if you support Israel, but would never date a Jew, are you an antisemmite?

obviously the answer to that last one is “yes” but I’m busy so I’m not going to think of another third example.

does the willingness to seriously date a representative from an industry or community have to be the benchmark for whether or not you support that industry or community?

Nevamst · 2024-02-26T20:57:49+00:00

Not every woman has to be my type. It's totally fine that there are some women who are into doing porn and are happy that way, they're just not for me. The fact that I think porn should be legal, and that I sometimes look at it, doesn't change that in any way.

You can call me anti-porn if you want, but to say that about someone who thinks porn should be legal and who watches porn sometimes guilt-free seems pretty moronic.

If a man wouldn’t want the women in his life being in porn, then his feelings about porn are pretty anti-porn.

Comments

NotAllWomen

NotAllMen

Title	If a man wouldn’t want the women in his life being in porn, then his feelings about porn are pretty anti-porn.
Author	GridReXX
Upvotes	62
Comments	496
Date	February 25, 2024 10:33 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1b015l8/if_a_man_wouldnt_want_the_women_in_his_life_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-a-man-wouldnt-want-the-women-in-his-life-being.1246431 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246431