Some guys really need to sexualize interactions with women more

Master-Praline3326 · 2025-07-20T20:04:19+00:00

I think for that first she have to be sexual with you or you will get creep label right away.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-07-20T18:32:17+00:00

I think 95%+ of the time the vibe these types of guys are getting is correct: she ain't interested. They just don't fully get the dynamics of the whole situation. But just amping up the sexual aspect is gonna cause nothing but problems. These guys may need to be more assertive in general as part of becoming more attractive in general, but leading with sexual assertiveness seems like a very bad idea.

KayRay1994 · 2025-07-20T20:22:10+00:00

If calling a woman “yummy” worked on her its cause she liked you (I mean she kinda has to for that comment to get a pass), not cause your behaviour made her interested. If you tried that with any person who wasn’t into you they’d be instantly put off.

And actually, that’s another thing. I honestly think it’s less “I was the asexual good boy, they didn’t like me. I was the sexual person once and somebody liked me!” - like maybe it has less to do with how you behaved and more the person just being into you? Ever thought about that?

rejected-again · 2025-07-20T20:27:30+00:00

The reason they called you out of character is that you did a complete 180. You went from simp to male slut. That's too jarring of a change so of course they would find your behaviour bizarre.

aleknovy · 2025-07-21T06:07:08+00:00

The whole catch22 of this is women's lack of empathy. If you didn't master sexualizing by end of high school, you are deemed creepy when you do it awkwardly.

It's almost like you're punished for daring having had other priorities in high school.

The catch 22 is that in order to do it well (in a way that's deemed sexy and not creepy), you need experience. But you're not allowed to get that experience if you're creepy, which you will be if you don't have the experience. Massive catch 22.

ConstipatedAvocado · 2025-07-20T18:13:07+00:00

Yeah, I agree but its legit hard.

In order to sexualise your interactions, you need to be able to see yourself as a sexual being. This isnt 1973 anymore, womens standards have increased drastically and thus the average dork isnt going to be able to just rock up to a woman and start dropping sexualised innuendo without being seen as a creep. Its far easier to drop your voice, enter a woman's personal space or bite your own lips when you actually take care of your body, skin, clothing and avoid seeming socially awkward.

Once you embrace that energy, you never need to worry about being seen as a "friend" because you tend to be assumed as the opposite anyway. Since I'm married, I find myself having to de sexualise myself these days just to not make things awkward lol

torytho · 2025-07-20T21:04:48+00:00

Not if they don’t want it. Do you think your friends would have appreciated you hitting on them? I think many of them wouldn’t have stayed your friend after that.

Poppy_Luvv · 2025-07-20T18:28:05+00:00

telling her she looks yummy and I can't control myself around her.

You got called a creep because this is creepy

GrouchNslouch777 · 2025-07-20T18:18:00+00:00

Sounds like you just lucked out and were aggressive with a woman who happened to think you were hot.

You need to just figure out which women want to fuck you, then sexualize those interactions.

Back in the day you could just talk to most any woman like that but these days women get extremely butthurt when a man talks to them that way AND is not attractive to them.

To save yourself the headache just ensure that any woman you're spending time with wants to fuck you.

Learning to do that way more ROI than just spamming flirt.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-07-20T19:07:01+00:00

Yeah you never suppose to be the one that is allowing women to bring their boyfriend problems to unless you want to become one of the girls.

As a guy you gotta get out there and approach yes some may call you creep to do so but nothing will happen if you just sit around.

I mean if just listening to your friends prblems forever sounds nice then go ahead and just sit back and do that i guess.

Mountain_Sand3135 · 2025-07-21T02:37:25+00:00

yea , women expect men to have basically a crystal ball to determine which ladies want

to be approached

to be "sexualized" or stimulated to make your intentions clear

to be a man that is god fearing but not really to strictly to the text

to be a man that is over 6 feet

to be a man that can take care of a whole family BUT not expect to spend her money

ask for first dates and pay for them , 2nd , 3rd whenever the lady decides to chip in

all of this we are suppose to KNOW and since every lady here is the exception it makes it IMPOSSIBLE.

Vaudeville_Clown · 2025-07-20T19:01:19+00:00

Maybe you read your flirt perfectly right and knew you could play it like that? If so, screw your so-called group of friends who've unanimously have decided which "character" you are.

There's a problem here with this advice. Nothing you said was wrong if it was the right tone, context, and person. Most men would fuck it up though.

If you want to make the argument about men reclaiming sexually expressing themselves, I'm game. But in that case, I'd say, the safer way to do so is for instance to express which celebrity you'd find sexy or something. Or tell a funny sexual anecdote. That's not targeted at anyone.

That means your expressing it, but noone can claim feeling "baww unsafe" by what you say.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2025-07-20T20:14:58+00:00

These are two separate scenarios being combined into one.

1.No, you shouldn't be more flirty and sexual with women you are friends with, if you have just established that this is a platonic relationship

Yes, you should be more flirty, sexual and playful with women you are interested in that are not your friends

myboobiezarequitebig · 2025-07-20T18:07:42+00:00

These posts are so confusing. You have a friend and you’re confused that they don’t treat you like you are a potential romantic partner…huh?

Actual-Log8970 · 2025-07-20T22:03:27+00:00

For guys who are a little shy + have polite people pleaser tendancies, 100%

Anti_Thing · 2025-07-20T19:25:26+00:00

What am I supposed to do if I'm against sex outside of marriage for religious reasons, & so are all the women I'm willing to date?

GKilat · 2025-07-21T02:25:51+00:00

I would agree that one needs to show that they aren't an asexual person that has no interest in sex for them to get noticed. Even in my perspective as a man, I find it hard to sexualize women who are prude and can only see them as friends. I find women who are a bit vulgar and open to lewd topics to be more interesting and attractive.

The tricky part is how you show that sexual part of yourself without it being creepy. I guess it starts with hanging out with women that aren't prudes and sexual remarks should be casual and inoffensive and never forced. It's kinda hard when the women around you are as prude as a religious grandma.

Naebany · 2025-07-21T05:14:23+00:00

I think it's pretty easy actually. You either start the relationship as dating and trying to hook up with a girl (that can transform later on into relationship after you sleep with her if you want) or you become her friends and then don't try anything.

The beginning stage is most important. Either something happen in the start or not. If you fall into friend zone and there never was any spark don't just randomly start hitting on them when you feel like it cause it usually won't work. If you let yourself become their friend and was never sexual with them in the beginning then they will assume you're just a friend and trying to change that later will be weird and creepy for then.

That's pretty good rule I find to stick to and will both avoid the friendzone and will make your life easier. It will either happen in the begging or it won't. So you don't secretly pin for a girl for months for no reason. You're either fine with being just her friend or not.

Of course I had situations when we were friends and then something happened but that's an exception not the rule. Especially if you party a lot with them and you're fun to be around. Sometimes it can just happen. But it's not something to strike for usually.

Successful_Oil4974 · 2025-07-22T02:09:34+00:00

This is why I stopped dating most likely. The internet is full on 100% about shaming men for wanting to fuck women, all the while promoting the LGBTQ agenda. I see it on both sides with shit like MGTOW and all the BS women always talk about but you usually never hear in person.

It's all intentional and guys should stop being afraid of talking to women. Just talk to her and if she shuts you down THEN stop talking to her.

Superb-Foundations · 2025-07-20T18:05:59+00:00

Maybe... they just wanted to be your friend?

ChadChasingBReturns · 2025-07-20T20:10:06+00:00

I can’t image a guy saying you look yummy. I would laugh my butt off and not be flattered in the slightest.

Gold_Sheepherder6569 · 2025-07-20T20:13:47+00:00

Bro is trying to speed run a sexual harassment accusation. Here’s the thing you didn’t have to be a friend/shoulder for those women to cry on if you wanted more you chose to do so. If you want more out of a relationship it is on you to lay it on the table. Also if a woman already finds you physically attractive you won’t need to sexualize for her to see you as a sexual being

substation66 · 2025-07-20T20:48:25+00:00

I mean, it’s totally possible to not be a creep and hit on a woman and end up having sex. If the only way you know is not hitting on women at all and straight to creep, you gotta work on your style. But yes, if you only play the friend to women that’s what you’ll be. With that said, it’s ok to have women that are only friends, but don’t make them all friends if you want to hookup or find a relationship.

mrfoozywooj · 2025-07-20T23:45:03+00:00

yeah but all of this comes with the pretext that you are attractive.

ugly/average dude trying this isnt going to get anywhere, will likely just get phased out as a creep.

Even an attractive guy will get this if the tone of their relationship wasnt that way since day 1.

YeaNobody · 2025-07-21T01:41:54+00:00

I'm confused....you're saying you were turned down but apparently that means doubling down on sexual advances?

nr_guidelines · 2025-07-21T04:27:58+00:00

\Calibrated** innuendoes, touch, teases etc. are good friends

There are certain ways of going about sexualizing interactions, that are pretty much just more creepy than others

Calibration means developing an art of feeling out and testing the situation with the girl, doing it early enough, and being very perceptive of both her and where you're currently at with her

You also sound like you did just all 'push' and no 'pull' (or it might be the other way around). Look up push/pull

LimbBisquet · 2025-07-21T10:54:04+00:00

Women are already eye raping me all the time. I don’t want to give them any ideas.

CharmingSama · 2025-07-22T11:49:46+00:00

yup, unless you present yourself as a sexual being, and risk being labeled a creep, in the hope of creating a connection with a fellow sexual being, you will be treated to the other persons definition of fair. which is to say, you will be treated as a fellow girlfriend in all but name, which can be deeply emasculating when you observe other men being recognized as sexual beings. while you are treated as an emotional tampon. but I dont blame guys who experience this. I blame romantic media that writes men in a not to different way to how women are portrayed in porn. as wish fulfilment accessories that are either beasts of burden for a woman to domesticate/tame or punching bags for her to sort her feelings out on. shits as toxic as porn, but gets no R18 attached to it, so it influences unhealthy perceptions/expectations on dating and relationships from a young age, in both young boys and girls who grow up to be men and women.

DescriptionFuture851 · 2025-07-24T12:34:19+00:00

I (27m) have two friends who have been flirty since our teens, therefore nobody bats an eyelid when they hook up, it's just another weekend.

However, if I suddenly did a 180 and started hitting on women, people would find it jarring.

In a way, it would be like a guy packing on serious muscle in a short amount of time, as opposed to many years.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-07-20T18:28:37+00:00

Ok, as long as you don’t complain that we think you’re creeps and harassers and sexists

IridikronsNo1Fan · 2025-07-20T17:58:35+00:00

Good way to get cancelled and end your career early.

Major-Platypus2092 · 2025-07-20T18:01:38+00:00

Some men seem to see women befriending them as an insult, which has always been strange to me. I really enjoy having female friends, but everyone's different.

Women vent to their friends—both female and male. If you don't want this to be your relationship, communicate that. Or stop being friends with them. If you want a relationship with them, then yeah, tell them that. But don't hang around pretending to be interested in friendship and then act surprised when they treat you like a friend. You're building your own prison and then complaining about being inside of it.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2025-07-20T18:04:03+00:00

This advice sounds like it will end in the men who follow it getting a restraining order at best…. Dude just pay for sex, buy a toy/doll/of subscription or simply watch free porn. I can’t believe your advice is to sexually harass women in the hopes that one day a woman might give in and let you pity fuck her.

wtknight · 2025-07-20T20:38:25+00:00

I think what works best is for men to improve themselves and to simultaneously not seem all that interested in them at all. Then they become the object of desire for a woman rather than the desirer, the latter position being one that often turns many women off. Still, I at least agree that letting a woman know that you are romantically interested is better than just being a "friend" to her.

AutoModerator · 2025-07-20T17:56:18+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2025-07-20T17:56:18+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Competitive_Lion_260 · 2025-07-20T23:41:14+00:00

Yeah, you are a creep if you say to a woman you can't control yourself around her.

TimeFrame3980 · 2025-07-20T23:56:30+00:00

"Some guys really need to put themselves in a situation that can get them fired from their job, harassed by police, or shunned from the relevant social circle."

Your title only applies if you're above average in attractiveness, anything else, and you're delusional.

goo_wak_jai · 2025-07-21T02:07:14+00:00

Maybe the key take away here is that being labeled a creep is better than being labeled a simp. A creep has negative connotations associated with the word, yes, but not as much so as a simp.

But here's the kicker. What if the creep is the chad that took his privileges a bit too far? What if every creep was a simp at one point? Effectively then, simping is the starting point to hit chad status. Without this, the average man is totally invisible to women.

Simps have always sexualized women to start with. It's just not outwardly and openly expressed. Creeps do that. And obviously, chads do that as well.

So if you're advising some men to sexualize women more, it's a bit of a "preaching to the choir". What you're actually advising some men to do is openly and outwardly express those sexual desires. And whatever happens afterward is wholly and independently up to women to respond. "What is one woman's flirty is another woman's friendly". Effectively, you're advocating to bring catcalling back and to normalize this behavior among some men. But catcalling is already normalized for those that fall in the Chad category and creep category. Just not the simp category and they make up the vast majority of men. Like overwhelmingly so.

It would be rather interesting how that would play out in 2025.

Hungduck69 · 2025-07-21T06:59:38+00:00

Its fine and right and you can prevent the creep stuff by just backing off if she isn't interested. Be direct if you like her not being friendly then you will know how to continue

EsotericRonin · 2025-07-21T07:11:56+00:00

QFT

"
These are two separate scenarios being combined into one.

1.No, you shouldn't be more flirty and sexual with women you are friends with, if you have just established that this is a platonic relationship

Yes, you should be more flirty, sexual and playful with women you are interested in that are not your friends"

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-07-21T10:17:23+00:00

This is why some of the most successful nights my buddies and I used to have when we’d go out is when we’d see who could get blown up the worst when approaching. Basically super direct game. Was eye opening how often it actually worked.

Patient_Recording_96 · 2025-07-21T10:51:30+00:00

Looks like that strategy works for you. I am pretty sure it would heavily backfire in my case. I rather let people just be. Yeah, I know this will probably result in me being really forever alone.

DrankTooMuchMead · 2025-07-21T19:11:47+00:00

Call them pretty sometimes, then leave the ball in their court as if nothing ever happened. They get turned on by this.

Sephir-7 · 2025-07-22T09:40:34+00:00

"Yummy" ffs. More seriously, yes, however you look, being flirty will make people more interested in you, but being obvious will not, you know how people say to be mysterious, well i believe that's what they meant, ambiguity is key.

If you behave like someone they could date, they might consider it more, but some people might be interested even if you don't flirt or anything.

Also i do think flirting convey confidence and experience, which is usually what people are interested in when in comes to dating

Re-Clue2401 · 2025-07-22T12:17:47+00:00

Just make your intentions know in the first interaction. You don't have to be overly sexual.

Beneficial_Hunter690 · 2025-07-23T17:50:34+00:00

The book Models explains this and your post kinda makes sense.

ranorando · 2025-07-23T21:36:02+00:00

You need to find a balance between being flirty and sexual and being a normal multi-dimensional human being with all (single) women in your sphere of influence.

You should be able to flip it on and off, and keep them on their toes for when it could go either way.

Being hot helps too, but this is a skill of its own.

Think of it the opposite of when a girl is friendly / flirty, vs when she’s only cordial.

Also no amount of “good guy tokens” will get you pussy

jillblackpill · 2025-07-24T11:41:58+00:00

You just have to follow rules 1 and 2.

1) be female

2) don't be male

Old-Philosopher5587 · 2025-07-27T07:07:26+00:00

Read (or listen to) The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi, it's free on line, will help you, and is a great starting point. Trust me dude, get through that book and you will understand all of this.

nonedat · 2025-07-20T20:41:33+00:00

What makes this difficult is red pill telling you to be sexual in a specific way, but what we should be telling guys is, tell her what YOU like about her. "You've got some nice thighs, I bet you're the one on top" - something like that lol

Chemical-Low209 · 2025-07-20T19:37:00+00:00

I don't know what In your right mind Assumed that THIS is the conversation you should be having on PPD. I would understand if it was on the seduction or some Red Pill forum but there are plenty of women here and they will take HEAVY offense to the idea of guys using tactics or being more sexual with women as some form of strategy

When it comes to dating for men... It's like talking about Fight Club. YOU DONT TALK ABOUT IT!!! At least never with women.

lil_kleintje · 2025-07-20T20:28:05+00:00

Sigh. The foundational advice for relationships should be simply: "READ THE ROOM!"

midnight_blue77 · 2025-07-21T03:20:44+00:00

How about no. 🤨

This is extremely bad advice. This is the fastest way you're going to end up on a Law Enforcement list.

Here is some better advice: Get your thirst under control and learn that being single and without a woman is better than salivating after them.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-07-20T21:58:02+00:00

Not at all. Women are very much turned off by selfish behavior

womandatory · 2025-07-22T11:49:51+00:00

No. Men already sexualise everything and it’s tedious. Be entertaining in a way that doesn’t involve your dick.

Tylikcat · 2025-07-21T01:09:40+00:00

"telling her she looks yummy and I can't control myself around her"

...yeah, that sounds pretty creepy.

anewleaf1234 · 2025-07-20T20:25:45+00:00

There is context to flirting and a need to read a room that lots of guys simply aren't understanding.

If you flirt with someone who is open to flirting and there is a bit of a push pull, you can have a great time.

If you flirt with someone who is sending you clear signals that she isn't into it, you will have a very hard time.

And if you can't pick up on the social skills and context you are screwed. Or well, better said, not screwed.

Odd-Talk-3981 · 2025-07-20T23:06:14+00:00

On the contrary, I think men need to sexualize women far less and simply treat them as human beings. In other words, use your brain more and your d*ck less.

Title	Some guys really need to sexualize interactions with women more
Author	Crazy_Kray
Upvotes	204
Comments	523
Date	July 20, 2025 5:56 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1m4vf5r/some_guys_really_need_to_sexualize_interactions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/some-guys-really-need-to-sexualize-interactions.1557590 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557590

Comments