Groom smashes bride’s face into cake & she rightfully is leaving him

riseaboveagain · 2022-01-29T21:11:42+00:00

If your family encourages you to stay with an abusive SO, you need to distance yourself from your unsupportive family members.

Sometimes other married or partnered people are miserable and perversely would be happy to see you just as miserable as they are

GoldandGlowing · 2022-01-29T21:24:04+00:00

I love how Prudence told her to watch for the family members who told her she was overreacting.

AnniaT · 2022-01-29T20:52:06+00:00

Finally a relationship columnist that doesn't tell them to cOmMuNiCaTe. This is a huge redflag for future abuse.

preppykat3 · 2022-01-29T20:54:46+00:00

Good for her. There’s no excuse to act like a psychopathic toddler and do this to your “wife to be”. It was meant to humiliate her.

spicyspa · 2022-01-29T21:08:32+00:00

👑 move.

I like that she was told to make a mental note of those that don't value her happiness. Usually women are told to get over it and try to understand where he was coming from and being shamed for being upset. This is a good sign.

bookworm1896 · 2022-01-29T21:13:25+00:00

I am so sorry for the bride... she asked him not to do one specific thing and he made a show out of doing it. I don't get this rubbing cake in the face of someone but what he did was so much worse. Even without her background story. Why would anyone want to ruin the wedding like this?

Golden_Lavender · 2022-01-29T21:12:57+00:00

Since when is abuse considered a hurdle? Since women have to become punching bags for men.

slidingthroughtime · 2022-01-29T21:06:19+00:00

I love to see this kind of decisive action! Cake smashing was always incomprehensible to me as a child. The bride is all dressed up, with gorgeous makeup and everyone just accepts and even expects her brand new husband to make her gross and sticky in a show of physical dominance??? No thank you! That behavior is unacceptable.

MacrameGoose34 · 2022-01-29T21:00:53+00:00

So thankful that she ignored everyone around her who was trying to normalise abuse. It's the constant cultural gaslighting of women that create deaths similar to Gabby Petitio's.

FUBARfromLSA · 2022-01-29T22:20:21+00:00

Can we just take a moment to reflect that this Queen left her OWN wedding because she was disrespected and humiliated by the groom?

Standing ovation.

localgirlcult · 2022-01-29T21:35:58+00:00

The way people in her life behave towards her is completely expected. That part didn't surprise me at all. What surprised me was her immediate reaction to end it. That's hugely uncommon. Women will more often than not lie to themselves, worry about what other people will say and convince themselves that they love the man who humiliates them. So wow, good on her. That kind of self preservation instinct when it comes to relationships is sadly rare.

Confidence_Relative · 2022-01-29T21:12:37+00:00

Everyone banding together to gaslight her! That’s heartbreaking. So disrespectful. He planned it too. Disgusting asshole.

dating-adventures · 2022-01-29T20:43:31+00:00

This story teaches us a few lessons:

a man can show abusive tendencies much later and mask his true self for a long time
sometimes their true colors show after the marriage papers have been signed
a man who crosses your boundaries once will do it again
leave at the first sign of him crossing your boundaries/abusing you in any form
do not give him the benefit of the doubt. Of course the family and friends will defend him, but is your health and life at stake

You can and should leave at the first sign of disrespect, whether it’s one month into dating, one day after marriage, ten years after marriage, etc.

Have a secret bank account and be ready to pull the plug the MOMENT something abusive like this happens. He showed blatant disrespect and could have seriously injured her.

Seriously, always have a secret emergency fund. The worst situation would be to be stuck in an abusive marriage because you can’t financially get out. Don’t let anyone make excuses for him and follow your gut if something like this happens.

If he couldn’t respect this boundary on their WEDDING day, think about all the other boundaries he will cross if she decides to stay.

Luckily, she’s smart and is following her gut!

august-27 · 2022-01-29T21:49:36+00:00

She expressed her boundary and he deliberately violated it, knowing she has a trauma history, all for his own amusement. Psychopathic behaviour. Good on her for not wasting another day with him.

ConstantNurse · 2022-01-29T21:56:50+00:00

I am so glad that this woman is sticking to her guns and that "Prudence" agrees.

Her NEX ignored her one steadfast boundary about a wedding and not just a little bit (Like teehee, smudged a little bit of cake on the side of your face while feeding you), but grabbed her BY THE NECK AND SLAMMED HER FACE FIRST INTO A GOD DAMN WEDDING CAKE!!! That's not a red flag, that's a dictator's military parade telling you to leave asap.

The fact that he grabbed her by the neck so nonchalantly in front of other people screams this guy was going to be a horrific abuser. The fact that the family on both sides were like "It was just a joke." are so far shoved up his ass they can see out his throat. The guy is a master manipulator and it screams psychopathy/sociopathy with how he planned it out. The fact that she has PTSD from a car accident due to enclosed spaces brings it up another level.

Swap cake with punch bowl and you can see how horrifying it is.

Holy hell.

The_Cat_Empress · 2022-01-29T22:08:08+00:00

He PLANNED IT.

Not only did she give him ONE JOB, he fudged it so badly and ruined a possibly expensive and perfectly good cake.

The fact he held her face down is scary...people may think it's oVeRrEaCtInG but the main thing that makes me furious is she gave him a SPECIFIC request.

I've heard many women's marriages not lasting long after their husbands smashed cake in their face.

randomgirlimok · 2022-01-29T22:13:11+00:00

She asked him not to do something, and he made an elaborate plan to do the exact opposite. It shows a total disregard for her wants and feelings. And he did it to her in front of a crowd of people to show just how much her opinion really means to him at her own wedding. Every guy knows a woman wants her wedding to be perfect and spends hours on hair and makeup, and thousands for a photographer and a nice dress. The photos would be ruined as she would have to wash all that frosting off her face and hair or go around with greasy frosting smeared on her face. It’s like a weird dominance thing and he sounds like he could be an abuser.

Can you imagine if he was a war vet and asked her not to have fireworks at the wedding, and she made a plan to have everyone use those loud party confetti popper things “to be funny”

Pretty_Phrase_3871 · 2022-01-29T21:17:10+00:00

Ladies, keep in mind that after the ceremony the marriage certificate still needs to get filed at the courthouse. If you or someone you know needs out after the ceremony, absolutely intercept the filing of the certificate. Most weddings are on a weekend, so that gives you a couple days to track down the minister/officiant and prevent the marriage from ever becoming legal. Better than an annulment, and he doesn’t need to even know until you’re far away from him.

Platipus6 · 2022-01-29T22:01:14+00:00

"Don't rub the small slice of cake in my face as we're feeding each other"

"Grab you by the neck and smash your entire face into the cake, ruining everything, got it.

Paynus1982 · 2022-01-29T21:28:46+00:00

Plus sometimes cakes have some sharp ass sticks and supports in there if they're multi-tiered. She could have lost an eye.

thewineyourewith · 2022-01-29T21:57:08+00:00

Did anyone else pick up on the fact that he HELD HER THERE after he dunked her head into the cake? Can you imagine? You just married the love of your life, you’re nearing the end of what’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life. And then he grabs you, takes the back of your head in his hand, forces your face into a cake, and then holds you down with your airways in the middle of a cake while you struggle against him to get away? How traumatizing. It’s truly shocking that anyone who witnessed that could excuse it.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2022-01-29T21:49:37+00:00

What what WHAT

Ditch all of these people, too. What the actual f-ck. If any of my friends was with someone who did something with traumatic associations, I would be by her side telling her she’s a hero for leaving; let’s go grab brunch.

ferociouslycurious · 2022-01-29T22:17:35+00:00

Why the f would ANYBODY think this deserved a second chance?????? I would have been horrified as a stranger observing it. What an aggressive, controlling, cruel move. The cake thing is only supposed to be cutesy clumsy and this was obviously MEAN.

DieMadwithScrotacity · 2022-01-29T21:21:07+00:00

Most brides make sure their make up is carefully done, hair is usually professionally done or styled by a skilled family/friend, and of course the wedding dress is usually the most expensive piece of clothing she's ever owned. She knows that there are so many eyes on her that day, and she is usually doing everything she can to be as photogenic as possible.

Could you imagine seeing how much effort and care your spouse put into creating their wedding look, and then grabbing their head and smashing them into the cake in front of dozens of people? I'm sure her nice dress, make up, and hair were completely ruined, guaranteed she felt humiliated. This fucker doesnt love her or care about her at all, thank God she is🏃‍♀️ at the first sign of abuse. If her family loves the puke stain so much, they can get married to him 🙄

NonaOrganic · 2022-01-29T21:23:06+00:00

and held there

he held her in the goddamn cake & her family literally wants her to stay w/this abuser. No words. At least the columnist supported her. If this was posted on Reddit she’d be told to try marriage counseling.

bleda_princezna · 2022-01-29T21:53:38+00:00

Wtf is wrong with this guy!?

makeawomancum · 2022-01-29T20:50:22+00:00

This is why FDS is such a needed space. The rest of Reddit and most of the world are conditioned to excuse male incompetence and encourage women to deal with shit they find incredibly unattractive. Here we encourage women to follow their intuition because we know it’s deeper than a wedding cake. It’s him crossing a boundary and showing that he will do it in the future given the opportunity. She’s smart to take this as a sign to leave him. I don’t think any HVM would behave the way he did.

Edit: I’m well aware what incompetence is and isn’t. All I was pointing out was the fact that Reddit does gaslight women about male incompetence in general as well. When I said he crossed a boundary and would do it again in the future, that’s me saying he was intentionally an asshole.

kaitybubbly · 2022-01-29T21:52:33+00:00

I would've done the same thing- I have this rule as well. There's no way I'm shelling out a ton of money for makeup, hair and a dress only for it to get ruined with icing on my special day. Good on her for leaving!

the-worst- · 2022-01-29T23:13:06+00:00

Smashing a person into a teired cake is dangerous unless the cake was specifically made with that in mind.

There are often support structures to keep the cake from toppling, including rods that run through the cake itself. Even a single layered cake can have one of those bars. I once saw a video where a girl's friend slammed her face into a 1 teir cake and one of those support rods went into her eye. It was holding some sort of decorative thing if I remember right.

This could have very well ended way worse.

woadsky · 2022-01-29T22:48:44+00:00

She set a boundary and he decided to stomp on it, fully-planned, in an overt show of dominance and aggression. He started asserting his self-involved "superiority" minutes after the ceremony, didn't he? Good for her for decisively taking action for what and who she wants in her life.

smolangery · 2022-01-29T21:23:19+00:00

A man who disrespects and ignores your clear communication and physically forces you to do things you don't want to do is a man who has the mindset of a rapist.

dinarvand88 · 2022-01-29T22:35:00+00:00

I 100% agree that this already traumatized ex-bride doesn't deserve to be re-traumatized by someone who didn't respect her wishes about something that had the potential to trigger an already existing PTSD. I just have to wonder if this claustrophobia didn't show itself on another occasion with him ignoring her wishes then as well. When I was assaulted, after that point I couldn't deal with men coming up behind me at work, and I couldn't handle being in the same car as men. Things that can't easily be hidden. I have to imagine she would've gotten afraid in a small space way before this? Either way, her distrust of him is completely justified.

FI-REfox · 2022-01-29T23:38:36+00:00

EVEN IF she'd expressed to him that feeding/rubbing each other's faces with cake was a cute idea, what he did was inexcusable.

Picture it -- right now -- you suddenly feel a man's hand on the back of your head as he forcibly pushes you forward, off balance and into a soft surface preventing you from seeing or breathing and HOLDS YOU THERE. Even without her past trauma, that is a psychotic thing to do to any human being.

And while did he do this? FOR LAUGHS. That is the action of man who does not see you as a human being. Bless this columnist for speaking the truth instead of gaslighting her like the rest of society.

BlastsRasta · 2022-01-29T21:21:30+00:00

So it's your own wedding with the love of your life, a day which is meant to celebrate this love...and you would prefer not to focus on making her day great and the best it can be for her??? Wonder if he feels like the amount of time, effort and money put into such a special event and losing his wife was all worth it in the end. Good for her leaving his ass despite the family trying to stop her, godspeed to her 👏👏👏

MorthaP · 2022-01-29T23:45:03+00:00

This immediately reminded me of that video where a bride has some cake on her fork and like, playfully teases the groom a bit with it for like 2 seconds and he just full on slaps her. I wonder what became of those two

Janeway4ever · 2022-01-29T21:45:55+00:00

He made the choice to do that to her BECAUSE it was her only boundary. He was showing her and the world that he didn’t care about her boundaries. His goal was to teach her a public lesson that she wasn’t entitled to boundaries where he was concerned. Not a coincidence that he demonstrated how he would really treat her once he thought he had her “locked down”. Good for her in leaving.

BackToTheBasics100 · 2022-01-29T22:12:12+00:00

Wow.

He was looking for the one boundary she had established, SPECIFICALLY so that he could violate it. Classic abuser tactic. If she had not set this specific boundary, he might have "only" rubbed frosting on her or just fed her cake. He found a line that preserved her self-respect, then crossed it, engine blazing.

Revolting.

candyfox84 · 2022-01-29T23:47:17+00:00

I saw something similar on Say Yes to the Dress, it was absolutely horrible to watch. The groom put his hand on the back of the bride’s head and smashed her whole head into the cake. So disrespectful on what should be a happy day. Glad she is dumping him and that Prudence agrees. This, combined with waking up to the social conditioning from family, is the first day of the rest of her life, which is what a wedding should be 😇😋

Bonds_Girl · 2022-01-29T22:19:27+00:00

💅👏👋👋👋👋💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽

Vaahla · 2022-01-29T20:53:03+00:00

The advice response in the SS is weak, but OP makes excellent points.

I can’t believe she even addressed it beforehand so he planned ahead to smash her into the cake. How awful!!

abbydavis102 · 2022-01-29T22:53:45+00:00

Wedding makeup, hair, cake, and dresses are all extremely expensive. I’d be livid and hysterical if I spent a ton of time and money getting ready, wearing my dream dress, just for someone to slam my fucking head into a cake after I specifically asked them not to. Then people have the audacity to say she’s overreacting? I’d literally shatter a bottle of champagne over the back of his head and say the same as he’s being wheeled out by EMTs. No. Divorce is completely appropriate when your husband blatantly don’t give a fuck about your feelings. I’m glad she’s strong enough to walk away.

SerialGeneralist · 2022-01-30T00:46:02+00:00

Now that’s what I call a queen with boundaries who demands respect. One thing my mom told me is if you show any weakness of compromising boundaries to a man he will continue to challenge you. He’s not going to respect anything you say because he knows he can get you bend to his will. It will start with small actions like this and then snowball into bigger problems. Ever since that conversation, it has been stuck in the back of my mind. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Stand firm and assert yourself ladies.

Meredeen · 2022-01-30T03:03:04+00:00

The groom:

I was going to come in here thinking he just did it and she had never said anything about the matter prior (still would be bad on his part, very fucking socially tonedeaf). Instead I come in here and see that she specifically told him not to and he did it anyway. I bet there might end up being at least one cross discussion from this post to one of the many 'make fun of FDS' subreddits about how she overreacted...

Dudes. If you do something that she specifically says not to do and she leaves you for it, that's on your dumb asses. You want us to communicate with you, you just don't fucking listen lol

idrinkmoonjuice · 2022-01-29T22:59:36+00:00

Do we have a term for the way men often get suddenly abusive immediately after marriage or childbirth? Maybe if we give that tendency a name we can get them to stop it

Free_Acanthisitta446 · 2022-01-29T22:00:23+00:00

Shoving someone’s face into anything where they can’t breathe is abuse. Even if she didn’t already have trauma. What a sick freak.

mothboon · 2022-01-29T23:23:41+00:00

Further and further they descend back to primitive ways.

beatlefreak_1981 · 2022-01-30T00:59:02+00:00

I agree with the response and honestly I find the tradition of smearing each other with cake to be tacky, degrading, and waste of a good cake.

londochig · 2022-01-30T03:52:18+00:00

I think it's so hard for women to leave because everyone is United against women. This is why we gaslight ourselves into thinking it's not that bad even when we're feeling utterly miserable, hurt and hopeless.

Glad she left. He would be smashing her face into more painful things in the future.

conspiciousboomer · 2022-01-29T22:35:27+00:00

And you just know if she stayed and listened to everyone’s advice the moment he starts getting more physical people will blame her for not leaving

No-Albatross-5514 · 2022-01-29T22:42:02+00:00

This sounds like the groom was playing a power game. The bride told him that there was one thing he must not do, and he went out of his way and did it. If this is not an attempt to teach someone that YOU are the one in control and having the last word, I don't know what is.

StrawberryMoon3 · 2022-01-29T23:29:42+00:00

That man is an asshole

CrazyPaine · 2022-01-30T00:40:11+00:00

I love that she didn't second guess herself and took to affirmative action. I love that. She told him, he did it and now he's crying after she told him not to do it he's probably blindsided by that.

I'm glad she literally put herself first and literally fucked everyone else who told her otherwise.

BrightIdeaGenerator · 2022-01-30T00:55:09+00:00

Honestly, this is a good argument to not sign a marriage license until after the wedding and complete ceremony. Vetting never stops. I used to find that depressing. But ......

JoanGreenCat · 2022-01-29T22:51:08+00:00

Where this tradition is coming from? What is so funny about putting someone's face into the cake?

soundslikeautumn · 2022-01-30T01:15:21+00:00

So....the only thing she asked was to not have him shove cake in her face on their wedding day, he completely ignores that ask and slams her face into the entire cake instead? She asked something very, very simple and he couldn't even do THAT?? He can go fuck himself.

TigreImpossibile · 2022-01-30T04:09:50+00:00

This is a massive red flag. Not only is it a major respect and boundary violation, but he humiliated and disrespected her on what is supposed to be the most special day celebrating their love and their lives together. And it's so aggressive! It's violent.

What a marching band of red flags that is. I'm so happy she sees it as such and planning to leave him in the dust, where he belongs.

spiderunderweb · 2022-01-30T05:27:14+00:00

I love the part about how she is the one going to be waking up everyday to a man who ultimately did the one thing she said she didn't want. This isn't talked enough in relationship advice.

warinmymind94 · 2022-01-30T01:47:26+00:00

Genuinely happy to see that Prudence is a Queen and gave the right advice - mentioned the red flag of the physical aggression (it is a clear sign of abuse) and that the fact she isn't happy alone is enough for a divorce.

Op is doing the right thing as well she's being honest with herself and filing for divorce. I'm appalled that she only had that one request, and that he didnt respect it. I had PTSD from a car accident and can imagine how triggering that must have been for her, plus the humiliation for her in front of all her wedding guests.

Another good call that Prudence mentioned that the family saying to give him a chance is toxic.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2022-01-30T06:00:06+00:00

I'm so happy Prudence have sound advice. It really is a humongous red flag. And those family members can go f each other. They see her only as a tool, they don't value her safety and her happiness. Honestly, I would do the same. If the groom knows it can take 1 thing to ruin an emotional investment like that and he still goes on with it, then he's a massive jerk. She saved herself from someone who would have escalated this behavior.

trousertitan · 2022-01-29T22:55:50+00:00

Fuck that guy, that's someone who is a time bomb for hitting his spouse

prettycatsandkittens · 2022-01-29T23:45:43+00:00

that's so sad :( i hate the cake smashing tradition too, i feel like it can get hostile/humiliating if you have certain relationship dynamics.

xfelugirlx · 2022-01-30T03:44:30+00:00

This is a redflag for future abuse, so glad the advice wasn’t communicate and stay with him

hyperjinxx · 2022-01-30T01:49:03+00:00

🚩Red flag? That was a fucking black flag 🏴‍☠️ 🏴‍☠️ 🏴‍☠️

Gologic34 · 2022-01-30T00:11:03+00:00

This made me lightheaded just reading it. The Dizzy Meter never lies–marriage abort!

fdshandbooksarmy · 2022-01-30T07:23:36+00:00

ask why does he do that?

he wants dominance in the relationship.

A big fuck no to the wife. you cant trust a man who goes back his words.

this makes jack bauer in 24 like superman because he will go all the way to keep his words

fuck this clown and annul the marriage.

salome66 · 2022-01-30T08:59:16+00:00

A couple of things here:

Kudos to the columnist for acknowledging this woman's feelings and making a note of the relatives who were fine with this
I do not know what this man was thinking if he wanted to show power - show that he didn't care about her wishes and do just slam her face in a cake - humiliate her
There is nothing to interpret here, she drew a boundary very clearly, and told him what she didn't want and what did he do? He went above and beyond to cross it.
The trash throws itself out.

jane-73 · 2022-01-29T21:17:12+00:00

So disgusting! I’m really glad that she recognizes this as abuse and got the heck out of there.

PinchePescadora · 2022-01-29T22:48:05+00:00

Thank god Prudence gave the right advice.

Yogacat4 · 2022-01-29T23:26:09+00:00

Omg he is a total crazy neanderthal! Seriously? And his family members are strange af…

I’m also wondering why she didn’t go to therapy in those years after the accident; I agree with others I definitely feel she would of had other incidents (he was a jerk all along likely, no need to wait until wedding day), but it would absolutely help her.

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2022-01-30T01:19:56+00:00

Love this response

spiffychick85 · 2022-01-30T04:59:22+00:00

Having been through what I have…when a person shows you blatantly that they don’t respect you, your wishes, OR your trauma….that person is garbage and DOES NOT “love” you. I don’t care how much mental gymnastics you play…the reality is that’s not love.

StinkyCheeseWomxn · 2022-01-30T05:01:19+00:00

I’m sure there had to be other signals that she couldn’t quite bring herself to fully accept or that he gaslighted, but I’m so glad she had that final straw early rather than staying in an abusive marriage for years and finally (or never) breaking away. I know it would have been great for her to realize who he was even just a few hours sooner, but victims of this kind of emotional abuse can’t choose the perfect moment to have that breakthrough moment, and he probably escalated it once he felt she was fully “trapped” after the vows.

Same-Key-1086 · 2022-01-30T05:32:45+00:00

1: this isn't a "hurdle" you can cross together. His actions are not "hurdles" to him.

So much abuse starts after marriage and pregnancy!! I would be so SCARED to see a man hold a woman's head down like that IMMEDIATELY after signing the contract!!!

Can you imagine doing that to a partner? He HELD HER FACE DOWN IN THE CAKE such that it activated her ptsd.

Literally worried for her life.

Chezhire-Cat · 2022-01-30T08:24:29+00:00

The ONE thing she requested, which he KNEW it was important to her and he made sure to cross that line. If he is doing this now, what lines will he be crossing in the future?

I hate that her family and friends tell her she is overreacting but I hope she puts herself first and stays gone.

cicerii · 2022-01-30T08:43:56+00:00

New girl: why did you and your ex divorce?

Him:

hucbaldii · 2022-01-30T11:58:27+00:00

What kind of weirdo fantasises about shoving cake in his bride’s face and if she refuses decides to push her in the cake ? I don’t think there is any explanation that could make it less weird or repulsive

sleepysiri · 2022-01-30T16:57:41+00:00

There have been times where my father was (rightfully) very angry at me when I was younger, and even in the height of his emotions and stress and whatnot, he would place the most gentle hand on me and tell me softly that he cares about me.

Even in his worst emotions, he would never think to be rough with me. So to imagine a man do so with the women he is meant to love, during the height of this happy moment, is appalling.

Peak_Tree · 2022-01-30T17:33:07+00:00

Good to see her ditching the loser ( losers if she ditches the gaslighters as well). We need more of this energy. and we also need to make it an expectation to other women that tolerating this level of disrespect will NOT be enabled...just like men expect other men to take no shit from their significant others.

ptrckbtmn-apologist · 2022-01-29T21:48:04+00:00

holy fuck what kind of bizarre behavior even is this

Ocean417 · 2022-01-29T23:53:12+00:00

I’m so proud of her!

gotja · 2022-01-30T02:01:05+00:00

Just what in the hell.

There doesn't need to be a trauma history for that response to be "bad enough".

1-fish_2-fish · 2022-01-30T05:31:58+00:00

Didn't we just see this post from the ex-husband's perspective recently on this sub? Sad to see her family is trying to push her back with this jerk...

herhaxpodcast · 2022-01-30T14:05:42+00:00

If my partner did this to me my parents would probably file the divorce papers for me as a wedding gift 😂

It is a red flag if you come to an agreement and your partner doesn’t stick to the agreement because they decided that compromising is less important than getting exactly what they want.

It’s a red flag because they are showing you what they want is more important than what you want, and what they want supersedes any collective decisions.

Quickben · 2022-01-29T22:52:42+00:00

Good for her

Deuterated-Earnings · 2022-01-30T02:24:34+00:00

How very malicious and cruel - especially since she has PTSD and claustrophobia! Not only did he violate her boundaries and her person, but he completely ruined the wedding, her make-up, and probably her hair (since he grabbed her by the back of her head). That is expensive; I hope she makes him pay. I’m so glad that she knows her worth and is divorcing him; good for her. She should ditch her unsupportive family, too.

bksi · 2022-01-30T04:07:13+00:00

Gawd this makes me feel queasy just reading it.

She needs to stick to her resolve and ditch the LV dude.

Was this taken from Slate? They have a Dear Prudence column. I hope to hell the commenters over there are saying the same thing about leaving.

callingoutthelies-1 · 2022-01-30T04:37:06+00:00

"Everyone" is OK with her being physically assaulted by a man against her stated non-consent, and convinced that's not the problem, the problem is her claustrophobia. Well, the world is even more perverted than I ever thought it could be. I personally believe that 'everyone' is deliberately lying to her and wishes her ill-will. These are the same 'everyone's' who after persecuting her into staying with him, when they find out he is cheating on her will keep his dirty secrets for him behind her back and pretend to be gloriously virtuous for manipulating and deceiving her out of a relationship with someone who would really love and care for her.

Murky_Cauliflower_34 · 2022-01-30T12:50:42+00:00

It's so good seeing stories about women who get mistreated and know right away they need to leave. Here's to more of this energy in 2022.

bambi_18_ · 2022-01-29T21:57:53+00:00

It wasted all the effort and money she put into her hair/make up/dress and not only that it ruined the cake - which was most likely a fancy cake and also very expensive. Then on top of that he spent more money on cupcakes for everyone because he knew he was going to destroy the cake. I know money isn’t the most important thing ever but I would also be very annoyed about that and also the food wastage of destroying an entire wedding cake plus the humiliation of having this happen very publicly.

kdkdkd64664 · 2022-01-30T01:30:07+00:00

I’ll take society wide gaslighting of women for 500 Alex.

STOP telling women they’re overreacting or making a mistake when we leave men who overstep our boundaries on purpose. If she couldn’t even not shove his claustrophobic wife’s face in their cake when SPECIFICALLY asked not to, what else will he try getting away with?

walking_in_queendom · 2022-01-30T02:07:11+00:00

I would hate it if my husband shoved my face into the cake. I don't understand why this is supposed to be funny or cute. I would leave him too!

I'm glad the person responding didn't side with the bride's family and say she was overreacting. She had ONE rule, and he couldn't honor that. Boundaries are not permeable! She is entitled to have that boundary and shouldn't have to defend ot explain it.

moschocolate1 · 2022-01-30T03:22:39+00:00

That shite’s unacceptable. Every time I see videos of couples doing pranks on each other that seem painful, I feel like it’s a form of abuse—with built in gaslighting: “it was just a prank”. I would never put up with that, I don’t care who says it’s a joke. If it’s not funny to the recipient, then it’s not funny at all.

SpillDatAcid · 2022-01-29T23:05:47+00:00

He did that as a means to punish her for making him do half the work organising the wedding.

foxorhedgehog · 2022-01-30T00:06:51+00:00

I think I saw this posted as a scary mommy confession a while ago.

depletedundef1952 · 2022-01-30T00:55:59+00:00

Go Prudence!!! I frequently read Dear Prudence. She occasionally doesn't give good advice, but this time she was bang on!!!

BillWaste6039 · 2022-01-30T00:58:17+00:00

Appalling lack of respect and that he planned it? Get out now.

Jaynie2019 · 2022-01-30T01:21:36+00:00

My parents have a traditional photos of them feeding each other wedding cake and they are truly beautiful pictures. The look on my dad’s face when he is feeding my mom is my absolute favorite. He looks so tender, caring, and in love. My dad wasn’t a real demonstrative person but boy, in that second, the camera caught the depth of his love for my mom. 💕

ARealDame · 2022-01-30T03:17:31+00:00

What a hostile thing to do to her. I am so glad she is leaving him. Aggression like that is so hurtful, scary and an attempt at soul-killing. He's an abuser and not her friend or lover. Yech!

spicey_Thot · 2022-01-30T03:41:29+00:00

Sounds like ambient abuse, leave him.

SarcasmSlide · 2022-01-30T15:49:57+00:00

Betcha she’s the one who paid for the cake, too.

whitehorseblessing · 2022-01-30T01:12:01+00:00

I would have left him too!

Surrealisticslumbers · 2022-01-30T01:20:23+00:00

Was he drunk or high? This sounds deranged to do to anyone, much less the person you're marrying! I'd be pissed too.

ChickenWuan · 2022-01-30T01:23:04+00:00

As she should. She saw a red flag and she left immediately and she wasn't taking any disrespect. Queen shit honestly.

rightsun__ · 2022-01-30T01:37:44+00:00

Amazing she reacted perfectly and the response to her was 100% correct too - I hope he felt red hot embarrasses when she left him at the wedding

pretttttykitty · 2022-01-30T02:06:32+00:00

My husband did this against my wishes too, although not as severely. Took me 2 extra years, but he’s an ex now too. Reg flags are red flags.

2022-01-30T04:26:09+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sveji- · 2022-02-03T01:44:54+00:00

Where do all these men get the fucking audacity?

Title	Groom smashes bride’s face into cake & she rightfully is leaving him
Author	dating-adventures
Upvotes	2042
Comments	234
Date	January 29, 2022 8:39 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/sfr5lb/groom_smashes_brides_face_into_cake_she/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/groom-smashes-brides-face-into-cake-she-rightfully.1099028 https://theredarchive.com/post/1099028

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