How are men supposed to meet women?

Sabrepill · 2023-08-17T15:54:41+00:00

Your mistake is listening to what brainwashed woke muppet feminist women and soy beta male blue pilled cucks say on sites like Reddit. Successful men do what works. If you can handle rejection, approaching women in real life is fine especially if they give you an indicator of interest. You shouldn’t care if you offend 9 women who didn’t like you, because you’ll find 1 who does

Rach1943 · 2023-08-17T14:23:31+00:00

Don't listen to these women that tell you not to approach outside of OLD (social circle/hobbies/bars/even coffee shops). a lot of women do want to be approached. use your social awareness and "Read the Room", and approach/chat.

RahLyt · 2023-08-17T14:54:23+00:00

Do whatever the fuck you want. Listening to these random women who have 0% of your interest at heart will only paralise you and make these posts on Reddit looking for approval.

ReasonablePlenty5548 · 2023-08-17T16:07:06+00:00

If you’re attractive, anywhere.

If you’re ugly, nowhere.

EverVigilant1 · 2023-08-17T14:30:35+00:00

Attractive men can meet women in all these ways.

Unattractive men are not supposed to interact with women unless those men are offering free goods and services to women or offering to orbit them with said free goods and services. Unattractive men are strongly discouraged from interacting with women and are severely sanctioned for attempting to do so.

45O2p0o2U1zf · 2023-08-17T15:33:56+00:00

I asked myself the same questions. Then I started seeing sex workers. I feel much better these days. If you can afford it, then I highly recommend it-- still haven't found a relationship but I care a lot less. If it's just recreation before a relationship then great, if it's the choice between sex workers or nothing then might as well get started with the sex workers now. Deep breaths, she's a professional and you're not the ugliest guy who ever hired her (probably). There's a whole online ecosystem on how to do this safely, get cracking.

jpla86 · 2023-08-17T22:33:48+00:00

You have to be good looking to even be friends with a woman these days.

physious · 2023-08-17T14:59:33+00:00

IMO university is a major privilege for meeting everybody, not just women.

I'm very happy with the amount of friends I have but if you exclude college, I would be so fucked because that's like 95% of the people I want to talk to. I wouldn't have a gf and my only friends would be from high school that I would occasionally play video games with.

Outside of that, pretty much just OLD for me. Like you said, I would only try something in my friend group / coworkers if they were like, marriage material.

old_new_age · 2023-08-17T14:27:55+00:00

sometimes I think the only genuine answer is "get lucky." I've had no success on OLD or IRL, but got an LTR from Omegle. she didn't even give a shit about most of the things I'd done to "self improve," she just liked me, and there was no rhyme or reason for Omegle's servers to "match" me with her

"put yourself out there" is cliche and annoying advice, but it's the only thing you can do to increase your RNG, because you'll have more interactions with people, but it still comes down to circumstance and chance. basically, you meet women by rolling dice

Over_North8884 · 2023-08-17T16:08:24+00:00

Just say fuck it, and if possible, become a passport bro. I avoid this shit living in Southeast Asia. Leave obnoxious Western fat-nasties behind and enjoy dating thin, young, beautiful Asian women.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-08-17T14:56:57+00:00

stop listening to women and do what successful men do

Peacesquad · 2023-08-17T17:13:21+00:00

Don’t listen to women. Always shoot your shot and cold approach especially if you’re in college or a nice downtown city. Bar. Club. Starbucks. Walmart. Target. Sporting event. Preseason football game. Shopping mall. While paying your phone bill. Practice on older women if you have to, get your feet wet

Women don’t really even know what they want and they break rules and make rules for different types of men. You think a Chad has to worry about approaching a chick waiting in line at Starbucks? Like bruh worst thing you can do is listen to women about dealing with the opposite gender.

Unhappy-Yak-8648 · 2023-08-17T15:23:45+00:00

who needs to "know you for some time " to even be able to tell if she's "attracted".

All of this to finally hear "you are an amazing guy but... insert some pathetic excuse here but I really do think our friendship can be beautiful."

No thank you mam, you don't owe me a hook up/relationship and I don't owe you a friendship either. To be reduced to a pathetic friend is so demeaning.. knowing you'll never amount to anything more.

banned4tellindtruth · 2023-08-17T23:39:12+00:00

How to be socially acceptable in the current year as a man:

Never approach women because its creepy.
Don't join clubs to meet women because its creepy.
Don't go to nightclubs or bars to meet women because women go there to have fun with their friends you creep.
Don't try to hit on women at women because that's sexual harassment.
Be friends with women first.
But if you try to be friends with a woman to have sex with her you're a creep.
Use dating apps that are 90% men, 5% bots, 4% women who want attention but have no interest in really meeting men, and 1% actual women looking for relationships or sex, except they're unattractive and only want billionaires who look like male models.
Don't go to foreign countries to meet women because that's exploitation.
Don't go to hookers because that's exploitation and all of them are human trafficking victims, although somehow a lot of people don't seem to call it human trafficking when thousands of illegal migrants cross borders illegally. I guess it's only bad if a man has sex with a woman.
Don't watch porn.
Do nofap.
Don't do any nonsexual things you enjoy because you're not allowed to be happy.
Don't be happy single.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-08-17T14:40:05+00:00

Do people not go places to do things and have conversations with people that are also at said places doing things anymore?

It feels like doing that a lot is why I have a wide social net.

legend0102 · 2023-08-17T15:07:47+00:00

Point one is the biggest problem. You try to approach a girl and word about your may spread. Now you got to drop that pool and look for another social circle. It’s like if we could meet people infinitely, but we can’t.

OLD is dogshit and after I deleted all those apps my mental health improved a lot. No more ghosting, no more wasted money, etc.

Cold approaching doesn’t work most of the time. And if you approach in social events, point one may happen (again).

It’s a dog eat dog world out there. Mainly because women can’t pick a man, they are all waiting for the white prince.

Neptune-Jr · 2023-08-17T15:19:33+00:00

women are already complaining that their male buddies/acquaintances would fuck them given half the chance

Ignore them hit on your friends.

CornveliousFarva · 2023-08-17T18:44:22+00:00

Lots of guys have a hard time making deep friendships because society deemed it too “feminine.” That and people are hesitant to bring new people into their social circle. Basically if you don’t have a social circle, you’re fucked.
The numbers are incredibly stacked against men with OLD. Of the friends that I’ve had that have found their love on there, all have been women.
Easier said than done. Women can get defensive if approached. Even a simple “hello,” with the right tone and body language could mean someone gets defensive or you get ignored.

tritter211 · 2023-08-17T14:49:45+00:00

bars.

That's the number 1 place to visit new people. Yes, you won't instantly meet people on your first visit, but you got to get into the habit of hitting the bar regularly over a period of weeks or months.

Visit your local park. visit your nearest library. Again, be a regular in these places.

Go to comedy clubs. Go to your local music shows. Go to local sports games if possible.

The important part is make yourself available and put yourself in the real world on a day to day basis. This is how you get the ball rolling.

Again, don't expect any instant results. This is a long game you are playing here.

Also, try.... not to be autistic? relevant username I guess... but all your complaints are just you hyper-focusing complaints of women to the point that you are practically justifying to yourself to be a shut in. don't do that. Different women have different complaints. Don't use all that to make a case why you should be a loner.

don't bother with what other people say about that approach part. Approach anyway.

Still_Succotash5012 · 2023-08-17T17:53:01+00:00

Copy successful men. Do not listen to women on the internet. They do not have your best interests at heart.

According-Dinner-406 · 2023-08-18T00:13:35+00:00

Honestly, if you didn't make female friends in high school then you're gonna have problems. It's kind of obvious around here what guys didn't have any friends in high school.

NOTSM · 2023-08-17T14:33:27+00:00

Social Circle

A friend of a friend is a great way to meet women. Conversation comes naturally, everyone is already having fun, probably drinking and women are more open to a dude that’s been socially co-signed by one of her friends.

But I’d avoid fucking/dating in your immediate friend group, it always gets weird.

Old

You should have this as it’s low effort, but don’t make it your primary.

Approach first

You should still do this. Cold approaches with randos in a grocery store probably aren’t worth it. Stick to places like bars or clubs where women expect to be hit on and are already in an open mindset.

metakepone · 2023-08-17T14:41:41+00:00

Not on online dating.

Also, the women threat profiling you on here are shut ins themselves. Remember, they are either guys who are trolls, or they can just make up whatever stories they want about their own lives.

Fulz__ · 2023-08-17T23:01:58+00:00

“That’s the neat part, they don’t”

EverVigilant1 · 2023-08-17T23:08:58+00:00

Well...

Unattractive men are not supposed to interact with women at all....

fuckthemoddsofreddit · 2023-08-18T00:05:41+00:00

The answer is anywhere as long as you're attractive. Thats what it comes down to. Everything is acceptable if you're attractive enough that women would want you.

If you are not attractive, nothing you do is right

xdivinex22 · 2023-08-18T01:46:17+00:00

I met my fiancé online dating.

princedune · 2023-08-17T15:28:24+00:00

basically just school and dating apps. Both require you to follow rules 1 and 2.

r_phone · 2023-08-17T16:40:12+00:00

Nobody likes to be approached by people whom they despise.

You can make dating apps on meta verse, or you can approach them at the bar even when they are intoxicated.

The days of women settling down for men they don't seem attractive are long gone.

That's the truth, we all have to live with it.

Women will not settle with a person whom they find unattractive.

Will will not be faithful with a person whom they don't like.

The next question should be.

What should men do about it?

Men should stop fighting wars, there is no point fighting to preserve women in your state/country/tribe/neighborhood, if most women won't mate with most of those men, and would die partner less, rather than settling.

Men should stop inventing anything which make the life easier.

Men aren't entitled, nor are responsible, to invent tools which makes lives better.

What's the point of invention 3 laws of physics, calculus, when no women found the inventor desirable but every women uses the tools due to the 3 laws of motion.

Men should feel no obligation in doing invention for the Government.

Women these days say, if a man is undesirable by multiple women, he is undesirable for a reason, and advocate other women to not pursue that man, so that others are saved with their efforts.

Women will never pursue un desirable men, but will use the inventions done by those very same men.

Women won't date nerds but will use tools made by them.

Nerds should no longer invent anything

Clementinequeen95 · 2023-08-17T14:27:04+00:00

Just go up to women and ask if you can give them your number. Put the ball in their court. If they look uncomfortable- leave. Most of us don’t mind it men approach us, it’s the fact that men don’t know when to leave that gets weird.

wtknight · 2023-08-17T15:10:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-08-17T15:16:26+00:00

Great question.

I'd say use OLD apps and try to expand your social circle by joing hobby groups for coeds. Approaching is a terrible way

Administrative-Lie85 · 2023-08-17T16:29:58+00:00

That's the neat thing- you don't.

neverendingplush · 2023-08-17T18:48:23+00:00

There are no rules, do what the fuck you want. I'd have respect for someone trying an failing then not doing anything at all.

Dune587 · 2023-08-17T19:36:48+00:00

Most women aren’t redditors. Approaching a woman and being assertive, even encroaching on being pushy (I don’t recommend being genuinely pushy/aggressive but you can push the boundary) is very successful. Not every woman is some ultra strong willed Uber feminist looking for any opportunity to tell a man to fuck off. A lot of women respond to confidence, assertiveness, and even being told what to do (in a charming/funny manner though not some raging control freak manner) in a very positive way.

YveisGrey · 2023-08-17T21:06:09+00:00

I don’t think approaching women outside is wrong or anything just depends on the approach. Don’t be weird and start following her or get angry if she rejects you those are the types of behaviors that make women uncomfortable. Also consider the context, outside could also mean at a bar or club. Those tend to be places where hitting on women is probably the most tolerated maybe even expected. So I would say those are places men can meet women. Churches are another place but that’s more for religious folks.

Electronic_West_1831 · 2023-08-17T21:07:11+00:00

Amen

eye_of_gnon · 2023-08-17T23:46:30+00:00

OLD blows, social circle still works most of the time

gntlbastard · 2023-08-18T02:13:38+00:00

You ever hear the phrase - "faint heart never won fair lady?" - That applies here. Women reward guys who are respectful but also have some backbone.

SteveSan82 · 2023-08-18T07:58:20+00:00

I meet women by cold approaching. I had more success with that than any app or with “friends”

Truth be told, most women who rejected me were flattered. Only a few were rude. Some ignored me. After you approach enough you stop feeling embarrassed.

wuchjazz2 · 2023-08-18T09:46:56+00:00

That's the neat part, you don't.

RonMexico432 · 2023-08-17T15:36:59+00:00

Give up and die alone

UninterestingFork · 2023-08-17T14:59:37+00:00

courses, classes, sports, travelling

everyone posting about passport bros should be trying their luck in hostels talking to fellow travellers

pretty much any mixed social activity

RepresentativeBook62 · 2023-08-17T16:54:10+00:00

"just try it in your social circle"

So what if you are "that guy"? Whenever I get friend zoned, her friends are up for grabs! If she gets mad at me for trying to screw her friends, then she can get lost. She doesn't have any right to regulate who you talk to/flirt with. Be "that guy" unapologetically and quiet being afraid you'll tick someone off. First rule of thumb is to give zero fks.

OLD is meant to he a supplement, not the sole source of potential dates.

As far as approaching women first goes. If you're shy/introverted/socially awkward you have a long road ahead of you.

There is no easy way in the modern world of IRL dating.

You're going to have to dress up, get a nice haircut from a stylist and not great clips. You're going to have to learn to love night life. You're going to have to spend money and time going out every chance you get. At least every Friday and Saturday night. Minimum and preferably more. Find 4-5 bars near you that you like and spend lots of time in them and you're going to have to make some friends in those bars. Quit sitting at home alone. Being home alone is boring and lame. Go out instead.

Oh you don't like the bar scene? You don't like talking to strangers?

Then you're screwed man. Because that's pretty much the only place in society it is acceptable to approach a strange woman.

Look my guy. A man has 2 choices these days. Get over yourself and stop being afraid of women and how they might react to you.. Or be alone.

No in between.

purplish_possum · 2023-08-17T19:54:04+00:00

Go to venues where there are both women and alcohol. Next question.

orbstnedifnocdesab · 2023-08-17T14:56:51+00:00

follow the rules 1 and 2

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2023-08-17T14:33:37+00:00

No one is saying don't approach acquaintances. Literally no one. In fact acquaintances and friends of friends are some of the best ways to meet someone. Trying to initiate a romance with someone you were interested in from the start but tried to weasel your way in is what women don't like.

Women frequently point out the statistically for OLD, that it's overwhelmingly men. No one is saying OLD is great for men, except men.

Approach women in safe public spaces that are appropriate. This isn't brain surgery.

Willow-girl · 2023-08-17T15:25:16+00:00

A guy struck up a conversation with me at the gas pumps today. You might try that?

beleidigtewurst · 2023-08-17T15:40:50+00:00

women are already complaining that their male buddies/acquaintances would fuck them given half the chance

Stop mixing "would fuck" and "are interested in LTR" please. This keeps and keeps and keeps happening on this sub and it's crazy.

Mating strategy is problematic for both genders.

Parental investment gap makes "let's bang" a no brainer for one gender and a hell of a big deal for the other.

hannahg000 · 2023-08-17T14:59:32+00:00

i’m going to be honest, if you don’t have a social circle or are not attractive enough to succeed on OLD then i don’t know what you can do.

i would say get a social circle but that can be very difficult depending on your age and where you live

such is life, i guess 🤷‍♀️

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2023-08-17T16:04:56+00:00

If you were a man good enough to meet, you wouldn’t have this problem.

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-08-17T14:29:04+00:00

I think honestly if you need to ask these questions I would assume you don't have the strongest social skills. Approaching people in public is not weird. Just read the room. If a woman gives you the eyes, or gives you the look. Then go introduce yourself. Be respectful, be honest, be funny, keep it light. Also never approach from behind.

Educational_Tank_175 · 2023-08-17T23:23:21+00:00

Change your paradigm.

Pursue the things in life you are passionate about and become the person you want to be.

When you don't chase, and exhibit passion and enthusiasm in your life, they will chase you.

But, if you need you need to get lucky - Always be ready to talk to women when the opportunity presents itself In Real Life. Don't waste time going to "special places" to meet women.

ComplexCupcake77 · 2023-08-17T14:55:21+00:00

if you have to ask this question it just means you are either unattractive to 99% of all women and/or super weird

SurLitteratur · 2023-08-17T14:29:08+00:00

Do what you want, just accept if there is a no, That's all these women are complaining about.

Warm_Gur8832 · 2023-08-17T14:41:26+00:00

On the internet.

TelevisionGloomy5458 · 2023-08-17T15:06:45+00:00

Church, community center, book club, meet up, running club, CrossFit, cooking class, night class at community college, volunteering (habitat for humanity, soup kitchen, harvesters, etc.). Volunteer, Eventbrite, yoga, hot yoga, etc

0DarkFlirty · 2023-08-17T15:12:08+00:00

There is no "supposed to". You can and people have literally met their partners anywhere. Some places might statistically be easier than others.

"Where are you allowed to strike up a conversation?"

Anywhere. Literally. You are not going to get assassinated by the secret illumanti police and publically shamed and put on a watch list by the shadow government for saying "Hey how's it going" in a library, on a boat, at the train station, waiting for the bus, shopping for groceries, on a bridge, on a moat, eating green eggs and ham with sam I am.

ta06012022 · 2023-08-17T16:53:59+00:00

"just try it in your social circle"

That's good advice, but don't do it with women who are actually your friends. Your male friend has a girlfriend? Hang out with them and get to know her friends. I met multiple girls that I dated or hooked up with in college this way. You have female friends? Their friends are also fair game. In some cases, female friends will even bring opportunities to me . Like "such and such thinks you're hot". That's basically an invitation.

"OLD is a great way to meet women nowadays"

This is true. It's the most common way newly married couples meet today. That doesn't mean it's 100% effective, but it's effective enough to be the most common means.

"approach women first"

This is also good advice, but needs to be done in the right setting and with the right social awareness. Many (not all) women don't want to be approached out of nowhere while they're just out minding their own business. But there are settings like bars and parties, where approaching is expected. Even in those settings, approaching works much better if she's showing interest. Just walking up to a random woman, tapping her on the shoulder, and talking at her is much less effective.

shadowofdoubt13 · 2023-08-17T17:07:31+00:00

Dress nice, look good, smell good and approach

meangingersnap · 2023-08-17T19:24:08+00:00

You just interpreted most of those statements like an autist

Approach women in your circle at parties or when you’re just kicking back and having drinks

Online dating sucks I agree with that

Simply approach women in social settings not when she’s going about her day

JNRoberts42 · 2023-08-17T14:56:59+00:00

"just try it in your social circle"

That isn't what people have said. A social circle isn't a dating pool, it's a number of friends to do activities with so you can more easily meet new people.

"approach women first"

Approach people in social venues and at social events so there is at least some chance you have things in common and a reason to chat with strangers other than a desire to have your singular needs met.

scwizard · 2023-08-17T17:31:49+00:00

Women are all around you. They're like half of the population.

There's no law against telling a woman she's pretty and asking her if she wants to meet up for dinner or something. Sure if you ask your yoga teacher that maybe you get banned from yoga and it's super awkward. If you ask too many girls at the gym that, you might have to find a new gym. If you ask coworkers that you could lose your job. If you ask your female friend that it could be the end of your friendship.

But if you ask some random girl walking down the sidewalk that, worst thing that can happen is they say no and maybe feel uncomfortable. They don't have a close enough relationship with you for there to be other consequences. You can even go to a foreign country or maybe just to vegas or something.

And this is all assuming you can't read social cues. If you're attractive and can read social cues you can just approach women you already know are interested in you.

So there's some risk versus reward thing going on.

supremethrone · 2023-08-17T15:10:39+00:00

Just be a nice guy, keep your head down and things will work out, bro.

DoinIt989 · 2023-08-17T15:22:42+00:00

You're not. Most men have no issues dating, but there is a male surplus. Some men just aren't gonna get chose, and society has gotten better at setting up "guardrails" so smooth talking loners can't weasel their way in and ruin women's lives.

dumbbitchcas · 2023-08-17T16:13:21+00:00

The reality is every woman is going to be different. There is no safe rule. I’ve met man at the gym, I’ve met men at parties, I’ve met men OLD, and at uni.

DragonflyAromatic793 · 2023-08-17T16:18:46+00:00

im a woman and i think cold approach is 100% appropriate everywhere exception the workplace. so, literally everywhere. and the demisexual accusation is cuz yall dont want us to be whores but then magically expect us to be whores just for you 🤡 u cant have ur cake and eat it too.

dyngladfel · 2023-08-17T18:05:54+00:00

Get hobbies, meet friends of friends, be a part of your local community. My long term relationships for the most part were all from those.

Ebonicz94 · 2023-08-17T18:07:14+00:00

You’ve never been to a bar? Lol

dynospectrum7 · 2023-08-17T14:56:35+00:00

Can you guys really not tell if a woman wants you to approach her in public? You need an invitation, bucko. Not some creepy staring on the train.

Lovemelikeareptile1 · 2023-08-17T15:03:06+00:00

While I know that you are not asking this in good faith, I will respond as if you were asking in good faith.

There are no issues meeting women in any of these places. If you are constantly striking out, it's probably something about you that is turning women off, so you need to work on that. At the end of the day, women want to meet a guy they like just as much as men want to meet a woman they like. God made us to be attracted to each other and want to fuck each other's brains out.

So if you are striking out, it could be your looks, it could be how you carry yourself in the world. I'm not going to dissuade a depressive blackpiller that the only thing holding him back is his height and face. Maybe it is. Who knows. What do you want me to do about it?

The real problem is that there is some sort of expectations that women should just be attracted to you because of who you are. Well, sorry to burst your bubble but why should women be attracted to you just the way you are? I see many men who dress like shit, don't take care of their appearance, act weird and socially regarded and then expect women should like them as they are? It's not gonna happen.

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-08-17T15:15:58+00:00

women are already complaining that their male buddies/acquaintances would fuck them given half the chance and on top of it this is kinda of a 'shit where you eat' situation where with every further attempt you're closer to the reputation of being 'that guy' who hit on her, got friendzoned, and now tries this tactic with her other friends.

Because the point is not to be her friend with the hope of one day dating her. The point is to actually be her friend.

online dating are not only lookist driven

Bro, dating is looks-driven.

they also seem to be sausagefests and the moment the average guy realizes the success rate on Tinder for men is 0.6%

While it's true it's a sausagefest, it's also true that so, so, so, so many guys are fucking terrible at it. I cleaned up using apps because I was able to be interesting and charming and didn't try to steer the conversation to sex as quickly as humanly possible.

women who tell you to "go outside" will also dissuade and threat profile men for approaching women irl because it's "weird" as they "don't even know you" and of course every other woman is suddenly "demisexual" who needs to "know you for some time " to even be able to tell if she's "attracted".

I mean it is weird and obnoxious. Women just want to live their lives without having to listen to a sales pitch from every dude who wants to fuck her. That's not an unreasonable request.

As for the tired "Well when is it OK?!" argument, there's no answer. You have to have social intelligence and be able to read the room. If you're unable to do that, then you're going to perpetually strike out because you are self-selecting yourself for removal as a potential date.

Epiphanic_Eros · 2023-08-17T16:13:22+00:00

Sounds like it's impossible! Must be a miracle how all these guys do it.

I'd suggest getting off the internet, out of your head, and out into the world talking with women and enjoying them for who they are in the world.

Safinated · 2023-08-17T17:04:25+00:00

I will paste my answer in your post for the third or fourth time:

Friend

Classmate

Coworker

Teammate

Business group

No_Yogurt_4602 · 2023-08-17T17:54:30+00:00

Approaching isn't weird; approaching weirdly is weird. Read the room, don't interrupt friends hanging out or her doing something intently, etc. There are exceptions to this, ofc, like when my current bf interrupted me doing homework at a library, but that was compensated for by an extremely witty joke about a pin on my backpack etc. and him just generally acting/treating like a human being instead of a frightened alien dog or something.

Literally just be socially competent, the bar is very low.

Sophiatab · 2023-08-17T22:32:51+00:00

Men are suppose to meet women in a respectful manner and act polite. Don't treat a woman like a walking sex toy, but approach them as a fellow human being. It really is that simple.

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toasterchild · 2023-08-17T14:42:09+00:00

You can't make everyone happy all the time, just try different shit and do what works best for you. Don't base your personal choices off worrying what other people will think about them because you will always lose.

RelationshipSalty369 · 2023-08-17T14:46:45+00:00

Most of us aren't going to bite if you approach but aren't an asshole, unless it's obvious that we don't want to be and you've ignored that. Although that comes under asshole, so .. don't be an asshole basically.

Notanothrshitthrow · 2023-08-17T15:06:58+00:00

women are already complaining that their male buddies/acquaintances would fuck them given half the chance and on top of it this is kinda of a 'shit where you eat' situation where with every further attempt you're closer to the reputation of being 'that guy' who hit on her, got friendzoned, and now tries this tactic with her other friends.

Easy, make your intentions known before you become close friends with them. You have a friend, they introduce you to their friend, if you fancy them then do something about it. Don't be a wetty and wait until you're a year into friendship.

online dating are not only lookist driven, they also seem to be sausagefests and the moment the average guy realizes the success rate on Tinder for men is 0.6% PDD women here will instruct him to "go outside" and "touch some grass" because it's not "how the real world works".

There's absolutely ways to improve your success rate on OLD apps. Yes, as a man it's hard to stand out, but there's certainly ways to do so that will help you to find some success.

women who tell you to "go outside" will also dissuade and threat profile men for approaching women irl because it's "weird" as they "don't even know you" and of course every other woman is suddenly "demisexual" who needs to "know you for some time " to even be able to tell if she's "attracted".

This some bullshit online speak. Many women are perfectly happy to be approached at a bar, club, social event etc if you do so respectfully. If they don't want to be approached, they'll say no thank you and you move on.

neinhaltchad · 2023-08-17T18:14:59+00:00

Risk creepy.

Always.

slazengerx · 2023-08-17T18:27:20+00:00

I can't speak to the US/Europe/West but here in Medellin, Colombia:

- I met my current girlfriend (of 2 years) on instagram. We had a mutual acquaintance and I came across her account and reached out to her and there you have it. (I don't have a personal account but I share an account with mates in a music project.)

- There is a popular "language mixer" at a restaurant near my apartment every Tuesday that attracts 30-40 people, a good mix of men/women/Colombians/expats, etc. About an hour or two is spent on formal language teaching and the rest is just social/practice. These take place in other parts of the city as well but I don't keep track of them.

- There is a Colombian cosmetic surgeon in my group of acquaintances who throws a few parties each year for clients/potential clients/friends. These are kind of wild as you can probably imagine.

- There's a Colombian woman who runs a matchmaking service that a few of my male friends use. You have to be referred by two people using the service, fill out a form about yourself, provide photos, and do a quick video/call interview (to make sure your photos are of you, that your Spanish is sufficient, that you have a long-term Visa, etc). This woman puts your info and pictures on the cloud and sends links to women she thinks might be interested in meeting. If a woman is interested she then provides a similar link on the woman to the man. Etc. I think it costs like $20 a month or something like that plus like $10 for an interested woman's contact information, so it's not very expensive.

Anyhow, those are some options in Medellin.

Yupperdoodledoo · 2023-08-17T19:20:07+00:00

Ypu need to get a social life. Being antisocial means you won’t meet people and it’s also a huge turnoff. Most women aren’t interested in a man with no social life, it means even men don’t like him.

Welllarmedhippie · 2023-08-17T19:49:45+00:00

What works for one woman doesn't work for another. And many are not on the market so nothing you try will work. It's up to you to figure it out in each case.

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2023-08-17T20:59:16+00:00

They only complain if you have no game.

OLD is good for exp if it actually gives you real matches, otherwise its just a huge waste of time because you're not learning anything from failing everytime and those fails increase your hopelessnes.

Approaching women is good if you're not awkward but if you're asking here you're going to be awkward, I guess the cute kind of awkward can be endeering if she's a little interested but the chances of that are slim, this is the same as with OLD but at least with this method you get better feedback, vibes and stuff

What women mean when they say work on yourself first is that you find something that makes you confident that can be a hobby, a stable job, female friends, male friends, passion for something, gym, just something you are good at, that increases your chances and stops you from cucking yourself before you even walk up to her

Eugenio_Prigozzi · 2023-08-17T21:40:04+00:00

if you are not in the top 20% of males, OLD maybe will crush your self esteem

Mentathiel · 2023-08-17T21:41:55+00:00

I met two boyfriends through social circles and third at work.

I think the trouble with social circle stuff is rather extroverted people who know many people and attend many events and have many hobbies give out this advice assuming everyone's experience is the same. I have several close friends who all have their groups of friends, work colleagues, acquaintances, family, friends from school/college/neighborhood, friends from hobbies, extracurriculars, clubs, student organizations, ex coworkers, people they met at conferences or vacations, and all of their friends have their own friends, and all the people are in several groupchats with different permutations of different people. If you're a person who gets out there and is excited to talk to a bunch of randos just for the sake of it, you won't get a reputation of hitting on every woman because you're hitting on a very small subset of women you know. And you don't "shit where you eat" as much because this aren't all your closest friends in the world where you might create an ugly split in the friend group over a breakup, there's plenty of acquaintance-level people that you nonetheless interact with periodically.

The trouble is, if you're an introvert, your social circles don't likely look like this organically. You have a couple of close friends who're likely introverts as well and share a similar disposition and set of interests. And I don't think "just get out there more" advice really works, if it's not satisfying for you and doesn't fulfill you to get out there it's just going to be a grind and exhausting and unfulfilling and people are going to feel the vibe that you don't really enjoy it and it's just a mess.

I don't have good advice to give, I'm just trying to say this is not necessarily bad advice, it's just useless advice. People who're already extroverts likely don't need it and people who're more introverted likely can't make use of it too much.

kitterkatty · 2023-08-17T21:56:20+00:00

you know the answer :) hobby clubs. It’s fun, and you meet your people.

Supreme_Salt_Lord · 2023-08-17T22:11:00+00:00

By social circle means women who have women friends. And make many many women friends thru many different activities. Dont hit on women you hang with everyday. If women friends think you are a good catch they will try to hook you up.

Yea approach women casually. If you compliment a woman on any feature from the neck up she will be receptive as long as you look presentable. You also have to know what kind of woman you are talking too. This comes with experience.

Also get an interesting instagram account. If you account looks like a meme lord page. It prolly aint gone work. Everything is marketing now. You have to be able to sell yourself on SOMETHING.

itsokiloveu · 2023-08-17T22:18:04+00:00

The last one is ridiculous. Given the right moment, I love when men approach me or ask for my number under certain circumstances. It’s creepy if you’re coming up to women in the dark at 2:00 AM, or outside of a bar in passing when said woman is clearly hammered.

I just did a tour of Rome, Italy today and a guy I had been chatting with on the tour asked me out for dinner.. we proceeded to go on a date. It’s really flattering if you’ve had a bit of banter prior

thernis · 2023-08-17T22:56:07+00:00

Bro literally go to any park or grocery store or public area. If a woman doesn’t immediately shun you when you look at her, or appear receptive to your glance, you would be surprised how far you’d get with a simple “hello”. I had a tryst with a lovely woman who was visiting from Turkey - I wrote a note and handed it to her as I was getting off the bus (I’m lucky she didn’t get off before me). I was so shocked when she actually called me. We spent the next two weeks together, until she had to go back home. I have been rejected countless times. I have been with women way out of my league by just being bold and stepped out of my comfort zone. The point I’m trying to make is to give yourself chances. If you don’t even give yourself the chance to get rejected, you will never get accepted.

Yomzie_hun · 2023-08-18T00:03:17+00:00

Do it all. More options will give you more success. Just know how take rejection and not overpush it. You will surely succeed.

Larry-Man · 2023-08-18T01:04:46+00:00

Holeee fuck just don’t be a pickup artist. My lesbian coworker got hit on in the nicest way possible. Dude tells her he really enjoyed talking to her at work (that’s the trick, find some common ground). She said “I’m really sorry. I’m gay. But that’s the sweetest way anyone has asked me out”

Dont just ask for a number. See if you vibe first. Then shoot your shot. Be prepared for rejection and take it nicely “oh, I’m sorry. I will leave you alone. Have a nice day”

The failures and the irritations are the people I interact with like any other customer. Customer buys thing, I sell thing, required script etc. then “can I get your number?”

Sir I don’t fucking know you. No you cannot. But if we had a nice enough chat I’ll be happy to be nice if I’m not interested and will accept if I am. The key is to accept the rejection like a fucking adult.

Zabadoodude · 2023-08-18T02:36:33+00:00

An occasional slightly awkward moment isn't the end of the world. Don't listen to the women online that act like its a crime to approach a woman or show interest.

The women that didn't want to date you wouldn't have dated you even if you approached them in the way they deemed most appropriate. You should care more about what the women that wished you would approach them think, and less about the ones that don't like you anyway.

Personally, I found meetup groups, and the reddit friend meeting sub for my city to be a great place to meet people. Both male friends and women to date. In large cities that a lot of people move to there's a constant stream of lonely single people looking for someone to make a connection with.

Joining hobby groups, volunteering, or just chatting up a woman at the line at Starbucks are also decent options.

begayallday · 2023-08-18T02:58:22+00:00

If you want to approach, I say just go for it. Be careful about coworkers, but other than that try not to stress so much about it. Some women will be annoyed or put off by it, but oh well. As long as you are respectful with your approach, you’re doing nothing wrong. Maybe it’s just because I’m fairly unattractive and don’t get approached often, but I do actually appreciate being hit on or flirted with in a way that isn’t sexually aggressive. I feel kind of bad having to let someone down if I’m already in a relationship, because I know that cold approaches are hard as hell, and honestly every single time it has happened I would have gone for it if I was single.

LLL2137 · 2023-08-18T09:48:46+00:00

The times are fucked up. You aren't supposed to approach anymore. Just deal with loneliness, if you don't have the money or the looks it's over. You can keep trying maybe you will get lucky, but will it even be worth it for a modern relationship with someone that only takes and never gives, then leaves you heartbroken, because 90% of modern relationships only last a few years at best? Modern life is a survival mode for every man outside the 1% and it's just facts.

Title	How are men supposed to meet women?
Author	Johnny_Autism
Upvotes	238
Comments	488
Date	August 17, 2023 2:18 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/15toxrq/how_are_men_supposed_to_meet_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-are-men-supposed-to-meet-women.1228840 https://theredarchive.com/post/1228840

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