CMV: A man isn't obligated to step in and save a woman from being mugged or assaulted.

purplish_possum · 2024-08-29T09:52:49+00:00

Long time ago when I trained to be a lifeguard they taught us to never attempt a rescue you don't feel confident you can complete otherwise there may be two people in need of rescue. The same logic applies to violent crime situations. If the circumstances indicate that you can effectively intervene without undue risk the decent human thing is to do so. If the situation is beyond that call 911.

wtknight · 2024-08-29T11:06:31+00:00

There's a difference between just pulling out one's phone and calling 911 and walking by and doing nothing. I think that people are at least ethically obliged to do the former for someone no matter what their gender, or to try to find law enforcement help if they don't have a phone, even if they aren't obliged to do something heroic that they are probably untrained for.

Practical_Lie_7203 · 2024-08-29T11:18:01+00:00

You don’t “have” to do anything in life - but idk how to explain to you on a base level that you should want to lol.

Yall are so sure about yourselves that women are the problem, and yet in this hypothetical scenario all you can think of is “what’s in it for me”

Tywinlol2 · 2024-08-29T09:25:03+00:00

I agree, but at the same time it is not a sign of healthy society. People refusing to help each other and risk for each other is another troubling sign of our collective degeneration.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-08-29T09:27:46+00:00

I did when I was younger, where me and a couple guys from the jobsite stopped a tweaker from beating the shit out of (presumably) his girlfriend across the street.

But now? No way. I’ve seen dudes just whip out knives, or if dude had a piece on him, you’re dead in a couple seconds. Ain’t worth it, just call 911. And I’ve got more to lose now than I did then.

Gitsumrestmf · 2024-08-29T09:51:05+00:00

Obligated? Of course not

all to be a night and shining armour

What does a man really gain from this? Nothing.

It isn't about getting anything. Believe it or not, some people are able to think not just about themselves.

And it's not just about women. If you see someone getting mugged or assaulted, you'll do nothing?

starksoph · 2024-08-29T09:11:37+00:00

No one has to put themselves in danger to save someone else, especially a stranger. I’d think you’re a pos if you don’t call 911 and report someone being beat up or mugged though

didosfire · 2024-08-29T13:43:52+00:00

you’re allowed to make decisions that don’t put yourself in danger. what’s concerning about this post OP is its lack of understanding of the intrinsic value of helping other people and the non selfish reasons why some choose to do so

CatchPhraze · 2024-08-29T11:08:16+00:00

Just call 911, nobody is asking anything else

badgersonice · 2024-08-29T11:22:58+00:00

Nobody is obligated to rescue anyone else already. Nobody is telling you that you are obligated to play the white knight. Legally, courts have ruled that even the actual police are not obligated to come help anyone out.

So why do you think anyone is forcing you to do this? And why do you spend so much time telling women, specifically they don’t deserve your help? Especially when you equally aren’t volunteering to risk your life to help ailing men.. who actually face a whole lot more random violence than women and are way more likely to need your help.

It would, however,be nice if you didn’t spend quite so much of your free time fantasizing, and practically masturbating, to the idea of watching women die in a ditch while you stand aside and smugly gloat “I don’t owe you anything because you didn’t fuck me.”

Substantial_Video560 · 2024-08-29T14:33:28+00:00

Sure, if it was family or friends but not a stranger. Self preservation is more important to me.

alwaysright12 · 2024-08-29T09:12:45+00:00

I'm not sure it's common for people to think random men are obligated.

Thunderjaw4955 · 2024-08-29T10:28:10+00:00

While it is true that you’re not obligated to step in to help anyone for any reason, I strongly disagree with your reasoning, you should do the right thing because it is the right thing.

I couldn’t care less if my actions are “appreciated“ (in the context you provided)

cornersfatly · 2024-08-29T09:34:46+00:00

Of course, there are lots of instances where men have attacked and raped women in public and other men have stood idly by or joined in. The idea that a guy would give enough of a shit to intervene is a nice fantasy, but I don't think anybody is surprised that you have this opinion.

FrederickRoders · 2024-08-29T14:13:48+00:00

I'm puzzled why we have to bring gender and its inequalities into this. When someone does something horrible to another person, its not about whether or not that person is x or y, insert any differences in there, its about helping someone from bring assaulted or something along those lines of altruism. Your problem is with women. Yes, sadly they are enjoying things we dont have as men, but that doesnt mean all women are blind to that and abuse that. Many? Probably. All? Heck no. There are good people everywhere but I doubt that good and intelligent people ever stand out from any crowd and so dont capture attention. Resentment is not healthy, though I also think that OP got something off of his chest by saying this. We humans arent always logical when we get angry. It isnt even the girls fault that life is unfair either, but why should it mean that not treating her as a person is acceptable?

Ripley_Riley · 2024-08-29T16:53:57+00:00

If I see someone getting assaulted I'm going to help in some form, probably by calling 911. The victim's plumbing is irrelevant. No reward needed.

Fair-Bus-4017 · 2024-08-29T19:34:15+00:00

Ofcourse no one is obligated to put themselves in danger for others. But if you see something happen by the love of god please call the police once ur in a save place to do so.

Podlubnyi · 2024-08-29T09:55:55+00:00

If it's a woman I'm related to, absolutely. Anyone else? No chance. Chivalry is dead.

SleepyPoemsin2020 · 2024-08-29T12:35:52+00:00

Yes, yes, you're not obligated.

Now keep on fantasizing about all the ways you can avoid helping women/hurting them because you dislike them and blame them for not fucking men how they ought to.

MyUpSeemsDown · 2024-08-29T12:22:40+00:00

They aren't obligated, but shouldn't one feel as though they should express their advantage, such as physical prowess, for the better outcome in reference to morals? Like helping elderly carry shit, mow the lawn for your ill neighbor, breaking up a fight whatever. It shouldn't be for some sort of reward, some sort of pandering appreciation, it should just be that a person's orientation should be towards more virtuous outcome. I wouldn't go as far as jumping in front of a gun for random ass girls, but if I'm in a car and I see someones trying to mug someone else at a knife point, I might just try to run that bitch over.

InvestigatorIll6236 · 2024-08-29T09:31:01+00:00

How is this even a discussion? You don't have to put yourself at risk for the sake of someone else. Especially not a stranger.

Certain situations, it can make it worse too. Imagine it's a couple where one person is abusive. If someone steps in, that causes the abuser embarrassment. I know first hand that that can lead to even further and worse abuse when the couple is in private.

Obsidian_Koilz · 2024-08-29T11:58:42+00:00

I completely understand the hesitation to intervene in dangerous situations with strangers.

I will still continue to call 911 and provide assistance when I see something. I would hope someone would help me if I'm fighting for my life... but I wouldn't expect it.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-08-29T09:39:35+00:00

I think we're all obligated to do what we can when a fellow human being is in danger. I don't know how you could just walk past in that situation. Not because you gain anything or are going to hook up with them, but because people who aren't psychopaths have this thing called a conscience that tells them it's wrong to be complicit in someone getting hurt.

John_Oakman · 2024-08-29T10:31:45+00:00

Then males will have to face the consequences of the continued decay of society.

IcyTrapezium · 2024-08-29T11:35:46+00:00

I’ve never seen a man step in to help anyone in public unless he was getting paid to do so. It’s sweet how some man fantasize about getting to be the hero and it’s even cuter when yall fantasize about having the ability to somehow stand up, unarmed, to a gunman and then refusing because “feminism!” This power and revenge fantasy is very telling.

Men have ALWAYS suffered from “the bystander effect.” This isn’t new.

So many men want to be needed so badly. But you’re not. You have to be desirable now and wanted. This isn’t changing.

Protect yourself and call for help. No unarmed person needs to be standing up to someone wielding a knife or gun. That’s the RATIONAL thing to do. Don’t you want to be rational?

TopEntertainment4781 · 2024-08-29T12:55:35+00:00

And? Do you think this is some revelation to women? This is how it has always been. It’s why women travel in packs. Men are in the protection racket.

God bless us there have been good women and good men who step in. Yes women. See we don’t demand sexual favors in exchange.

nightsofthesunkissed · 2024-08-29T09:57:51+00:00

I also don't see why society pushes the idea that men should step in to these situations

I've never seen society pushing such an idea in my life.

I've seen society celebrate heroes who do choose to risk their life to save others, especially women and children (individuals at a physical disadvantage to a male attacker who could be armed with a weapon) sure.

a night and shining armour

Knight in shining armour*

for someome who likely isn't going to even appreciate him for it. What does a man really gain from this? Nothing.

Christ almighty. Men who risk their lives to save other people aren't doing it for narcissistic attention or personal gain. It's because watching a child or woman be stabbed in front of them triggers off a very human instinct to want to save them from the injustice of death and suffering.

Therefore, a man isn't a bad person for not giving a crap either.

There's a difference between a man not risking his own safety, and seeing others being attacked and "not giving a crap".

Feeling like he "doesn't give a crap" certainly does make him a piece of shit.

Werevulvi · 2024-08-29T11:06:13+00:00

No I kinda agree with that. I don't think anyone should have to risk their life for a stranger. It's more like a bonus (ie extra high morals) if someone does that out of their own free will, preferably for altruistic reasons. Most people like heroes. And I don't think it matters so much if it's a man or woman who comes to the rescue, as long as whatever the rescuer does is in some way beneficial for the rescued. Even if it's just calling the cops and identifying the attacker afterwards, or just comforting the victim while helping them get help from authorities. Because someone in shock may not know how to operate a phone in that state or be able to speak coherently to get help themselves. This doesn't require any special skills or brute strength, and is generally of low risk to one's own life. Especially if the attacker has already gone.

But even then I don't think badly of people who don't come to the rescue in the event of a mugger, assault, etc. It kinda depends on the reasons, but I think being afraid to intervene is a totally fine reason. Or even just not caring a ton about helping total strangers. As long as you'd rush to help a loved one (friend, family, spouse, child, etc) in such a situation, then I'd think that person still has high enough morals to be reliable and caring in a crisis.

But yeah, if you never ever help a stranger for even the slightest thing, I would question your morals. But obviously there's a huge difference between for ex giving an old granny your seat in a bus, vs running head first into an assault scene to rescue the person getting pummeled. The former has zero risk to your health/safety, while the latter has a high risk of landing you in a hospital.

But that said, society is still always going to think highly of the hero types who go out of their way to save a stranger in danger even if it's at the risk of their own lives. And society as a whole needs to have at least a few such hero types. But no, I really don't think it should have to be the responsibility of the average Joe's and Jane's who just don't have that amount of spine. And I mean I don't either. And I don't think most people do. I think most people get scared or anxious in such situations. And that's fine, we can leave that "job" for the daredevils. But then I think we really do owe it to them to express our appreciation for their heroic deeds. We might one day even end up having our lives saved by one of them.

And yeah you're not "lesser" for it, you're just a normal person. I'm sure you have other types of strengths to contribute to society with.

Hard_Corsair · 2024-08-29T12:50:57+00:00

This is a matter of jurisdiction. In some places, you do have an obligation to help. In other places, you will be punished for trying to help. Always know your local laws, especially in America where they can vary by city.

ladyindev · 2024-08-29T13:08:16+00:00

This title gave the impression that this was kind of cold and weird but a basic thing that could make sense regardless of your constitution. No one is obliged to do this and actually aren’t by law anyway. Men ignore crimes happening to women all the time. Then it became dripping in bitterness and personal issues right off the bat with “shouldn’t” and “appreciate him for it.” It’s one thing to feel like you need to protect yourself, that’s fine, but another to tell someone else not to help people.

Sir, live your life the way you want to and keep it moving. Men who have empathy and aren’t broken inside will feel differently. You work with what you have, but telling people not to help people being murdered is the biggest sign that you need some very deep therapy, dear.

MistyMaisel · 2024-08-29T17:41:21+00:00

We don't do what is right for parades or appreciation. We do it because it is right.

I don't help the lost child in the store find their parents or go to the front and wait with them because I'm expecting them or even their stupid parents to appreciate me or I'm meant to gain something. I do it because it's the right thing to do. I do it because I want to live in a society where lost children are kept safe, comforted, and not stolen . I do it because god forbid if I wasn't looking and my young child darted off, I would hope some other good citizen would help them stay safe and find me.

Now, if you don't know what in bloody hell you're doing, don't step in. Call the police or the fire department. It's that simple to do the right thing. You don't have to be Captain America, you just have to care the smidgen amount. And even if you are Captain America, you don't have to step. There's no must, but yes, you're a bit more of a coward if you have the capabilities and don't use them because you fear for your own life.

And, if I saw a man being assaulted by a woman, I would not laugh about it. I'd call the police or if it was in a social setting, I'd try to let him know he doesn't have to stand for this (assuming it's some sort of relationship violence).

SlavePrincessVibes3 · 2024-08-29T11:33:48+00:00

"The world is a cold, cruel place" is a massive cop out for selfish, cowardly people who want all of the benefits of living in a society without the responsibilities of living in a society.

Just bc the world is shitty, doesn't mean it's okay to add to that shitty.

The world shouldn't be shitty. Good, decent people want to change that, which will never happen if people keep adding to the shitty for their own personal gain.

Who hurt you, my brother in christ??

CommieRedEyes · 2024-08-29T12:13:57+00:00

My friends always fuck up randos creeping on people in or around our bar, but maybe I have better friends?

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PrettyBoysenberry867 · 2024-08-29T12:41:29+00:00

The worst part of all this is a lot of times people will stay with their abusers because they don't have it in them to distance themselves from familiarity even if it's killing them.

Jazzlike_Function788 · 2024-08-29T13:12:25+00:00

You don't have an obligation. And I'd argue getting involved physically in a situation like this runs the risk of making the situation worse, even getting the woman you're trying to defend hurt by escalating the situation.

That said, you're going to be judged negatively if you don't get involved. There will be lots of "What kind of man is that?", "These men are such bitches.", "This is why women choose the bear", etc. Which is not to say you're obligated to do anything, but other people, both men and women, do think you're obligated to do something. You don't have to care, but it's real.

SleepingBearWalk · 2024-08-29T14:15:01+00:00

Actually I'd argue either man or woman, should not put themselves in the way of harm. In EMS it goes your safety, the safety of your crew, and then the patients safety. Notice how the patient isn't the 1st concern, because if you get hurt you can't help them anyway. Even if that means waiting for additional assistance. Make note of the perp's appearance, vehicle, or license, all those things can be safely done without putting yourself in harm's way.

thundermemes100 · 2024-08-29T14:22:31+00:00

Mugged and assaulted are two separate things. If someone is getting mugged, the right course is just hand everything over. If someone's gets assaulted and the assailant leaves, nobody should stop them. But, if someone's getting assaulted continously, and someone is strong enough to stop it, there is a mild social obligation to step in. It looks bad when you have people that could've stopped such a thing and didn't.

Altruistic_Ad_0 · 2024-08-29T14:50:57+00:00

There is a phenomenon in antelope where they will groom the antelope they have seen more than once but will not to a complete stranger. This is because if they have seen you more than once they know that they have to work with you to survive, so they invest their time and energy in grooming which is easiest when you have a friend helping you out. The same thing goes with the bystander effect I would presume. Someone is being dragged away or someone is having a heart attack and no one intervenes. The reason might be because you have never met them before in order for them to be emotionally attached to you and therefore work on other parts of your brain that would force you to spring into action. We live in societies full of strangers, most of us are urbanites and everyone treats each other as a stranger most of the time. So while society might make infinite demands for men. It is up to men and anyone for that matter to make it a bargain and squeeze every last benefit that there is in that exchange or otherwise get good at saying no and setting a boundary. It is strange I have had a few women I know ask me things along the lines of "if you were on a life raft and were asked to give up your spot as the Titanic was sinking would you for a women, pregnant woman or child?" I said not unless they were my own. Which is sort of like saying, I am more likely to give something to someone who is more related to me in some way than more unrelated to me if it will cost me.

Another reason why men are pressure to deploy themselves in service to women heroically is because men's role in society is very traditional and has not changed much like women's role in society has visibly changed. Women are more or less equal to men in my society, the only the differentiating them is their bodies and the unique functions it provides. Whereas men are still expected to have a good job and successful career, in general be able to toil and labor in theory to help build a family. I would argue that there is a good reason for this. Despite what we might say about how it was people who liberated people from stuffy societal norms, classes and laws. I firmly believe the culprit was based in technology. You could no longer keep the women home, because there was less work for them there. Just like how we could not keep people on farms because there was no work there. Technology led to urbanization, the sexual revolution, everything. But in all of this, the biggest change there has been for men is what kind of work they might get involved in. Most men used to be farmers. Now the biggest employer in most countries is the state itself.

You will even hear people say how masculinity is changing in present day. That masculinity no longer fits into society and might be toxic in general. I would largely regard this to be false. The truth is women who don't know you want you to be a safe male in case they ever are forced to interact with you. Whereas they want the one man who they have to express their masculinity. Women just want to be on the good side of masculinity and be able to control it in some way. In theory I do believe men's role in society should change. I am disgusted by the statistics on male suicide, men's inability to seek out supports and their failings to deploy and go to higher education and meet their female counterparts in academically as examples. Whether this is nurture or nature I do not know. I would love these horrible statistics to change. But in the end, I believe across cultures society or women believe men should be doers and women should be helped. To impose your will is masculine, and to get help from others is less masculine because you are not using your own power. There might be some truth in that. But I prefer a more well rounded strategy in hopes that men improve their lives. So I doubt society will gain much more empathy for men anytime soon. It just does not care.

The reason why society might message to men to help women with no expectation of reward is because at the end of the day, people have infinite demands and are enormous hypocrites. That is fine because we can work around that. Because you do not have to do anything they say, at least in my Western culture. What society says is sometimes the lowest IQ bull crap. It is sensational, probably a lie and perpetuated by people where the most interesting thing about them is complaining about what someone else should do. Because the thing is, is that by messaging into the void, they are making no teams, securing no alliances, negotiating with no one. They do it because they have nothing more practical to do in order to organize their social lives to be more useful to them. Because if they had a tight knit community there likely would be a give and take relationship based on what you could provide the other, with extra empathy because you are friends with this person. I have witnessed first hand with my mother organizing with other single moms to babysit their children collectively that this is how it happens. What most champions of chivalry fail to understand is that how knights behaved was based on a system of rights and responsibilities. There status in society was secured, but they were obligated to fight to defend their status. It was not about women. Women invented it because at the end of the day our empathy for others especially strangers ends at our noses and the only thing we empathize with is our emotions. Everyone does that.

Melanch0licAlc0h0lic · 2024-08-29T15:04:22+00:00

I understand what you're saying and I honestly don't believe in double standards...but wow...you could at least call 911 if you feel that your safety is at risk. There are plenty of cases of people or children physically unable to fight but act (courageously on another's behalf) and get help.

Bloody hell...if a person was being assaulted I would do all that I could to help. Old, young, male, female, or even an uncaring person like this who I wouldn't even know would not do the same for me. I'd be too busy trying to do what I believe is the right thing (helping someone in need) instead of judging them based on their gender.

Why is it that your mind goes right to the scenario of it being a man helping a woman? What if it's a man that needs another man's help? They don't get any "hero music/porn music" or what...? So basically, human life is cheap or worthless even? What about a "Timmy down the well" scenario? What if a man is having a medical emergency and is unable to call for help. You'd just keep walking I guess. "Fuck 'em."

Most females aren't waiting around/counting on a male's help. Whenever I have to leave my house most of the time my hand's on my pepper spray ready to go. I'm not thinking..."oh gee, some strong knight will save me." I'm actually thinking anyone could be a predator and I can't trust anyone even if they "seem nice." Funny how many fathers have a huge prejudice/paranoia of other men that they teach their daughters. My father always held an unfair bias towards other males that my mother certainly never had. I used to think my dad was nuts...then you read shit like this and know why it hurts to love and to care about people while having to live in this world. But whatever.

What does society get out of you? What do you do to contribute? We all must depend on someone or something else to survive. Gratitude would serve you well. Thanks for promoting even more pain in the world...nice contribution.

TSquaredRecovers · 2024-08-29T15:25:25+00:00

I’m so grateful that when I was attacked while jogging on a bike path in 2006, a passerby stopped to pull by my attacker off of me and then lend me his phone afterward to call 911. If it hadn’t been for that man, I would have been raped and possibly killed. (My attacker was apprehended and later served 3.5 years in prison.

With that said, I don’t believe that any man has an obligation to physically assist a woman who is being assaulted or raped. I do think it’s only common decency for any person—man or woman—to stop and contact authorities if they observe a violent crime in action.

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2024-08-29T15:41:45+00:00

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who want to lessen others suffering, and others that want to add to others suffering. I’m seeing a lot of the former here. It’s very sad.

Edit: By some of these comments, I get the feeling that a lot of men here would be rejoicing if what’s happening to women in Afghanistan atm were to happen here.

doggiedoc2004 · 2024-08-29T15:56:41+00:00

No one is obligated to step in in a dangerous situation. Like others said, it’s common decency to at least call the police. Some folks, yes, often or mostly men, have an innate instinct to protect those smaller than them - children, women, animals. If you don’t have that instinct that’s fine. I am so thankful for all the men (and women) who are first responders or just have that drive to help others. These are the folks that can make excellent spouses and parents.

Edit to add: we as a society reward and lionize and encourage pro social behavior. Helping others, especially at ones own selfless expense is behavior I’m happy to encourage and support.

Muscletov · 2024-08-29T15:58:48+00:00

Just call the cops and give extensive testimony to catch the culprits.

Bewpadewp · 2024-08-29T16:11:51+00:00

Silly goof, men only exist to be expendable and exclusively have value when they're actively sacrificing their time, peace, well-being, and resources! If a man doesnt drop everything every time to help everyone but himself then that man is basically evil.

Or at least, that's what society has decided.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2024-08-29T16:51:05+00:00

He obviously isn't oblogated to. Part of loving in a society is helping people in need though. Obviously don't do it if you're expecting a huge reward for it.

VWGUYWV · 2024-08-29T17:03:47+00:00

No worries here

Constitutional carry state filled with people that want to be a hero

2 men robbed a store here and the local civilians mag dumped their getaway car so bad that the cops found the car in the ditch a few miles away and both perps had bled out

xItaliax · 2024-08-29T17:14:06+00:00

Same with EMS. Scene safety.

Feisty_Response_9401 · 2024-08-29T17:40:53+00:00

I agree that getting stabbed is a huge risk. Besides, often women side with the abusers. and men like this one got into jail because he attacked a man who was bothering passengers and the man died.

Sorry, but I do believe that getting killed or stabbed is worse than being raped. I understand many women disagree and prefer death, though, but that is just matter of perspective. If I have to choose between defending a random woman being raped or me being stabbed, I will not be stabbed.

Women are more likely to support the policy that created the homeless and addicted population that is now bothering them. Women also vote to import poor people even without new housing being built, such as in Canada. In other words, women vote for stuff that makes them good look but is not actually good, and then complain when men don't fix the problems the allowed.

GhostXmasPast342 · 2024-08-29T17:57:02+00:00

The hero is never rewarded. You will go from hero to zero in thirty seconds.Funny, women constantly ask where chivalry has gone🤔.

Mandy_M87 · 2024-08-29T18:02:32+00:00

I can understand not putting your own safety in danger, but the least he can do is call the police/ ambulance

Liberum12321 · 2024-08-29T18:02:34+00:00

Society is better when the strong help the weak. When we, as a people, refuse to stand idly by when injustices occur before us. That said, having your wallet taken is not worth risking bodily injury, so I'd say step in only to make sure that's all that happens. The label of "coward" (I prefer this to "pussy", as that's just crass) is specifically reserved for those who save their own skin in lieu of doing what's right. So, yes, depending on the situation, you're a coward if you do nothing. Whether it's okay to be a coward is up to you, but that doesn't change how we define that as a society. If you only want to help yourself and your family/friends, fine. That's just a difference of values between you and general society. You're not necessarily a coward in that case, but you sure as hell are no hero.

I've been a hero and I've been a coward. When I'm a coward, I analyze why I let fear stop me from doing what was right and try to rectify it, or feel better prepared for next time duty calls.

I appreciate the philosophy of allowing your biology to take over and only do what benefits you at all times. I get it. I internalize that sometimes. But I believe it's better for everyone if we decide not to allow horrible things to happen to strangers out of fear. That's how the cartels win in Mexico. I've seen videos of people get beaten to death because the crowd around them were unwilling to take out the lone attacker. Cowards, all of them.

-royalmilktea- · 2024-08-29T18:09:09+00:00

I am a woman, and idk dude, if I see someone being obviously harmed and I think I could do something to help, I don't think I could stop myself from trying. Same for animals.

It's a different matter if it's a situation where I don't think I could help and I'd be more likely to end up in harm's way myself.

I understand that people don't have an obligation to help others, but I wouldn't trust someone who doesn't have an impulse to help if someone's being harmed.

Comms · 2024-08-29T18:21:29+00:00

What does a man really gain from this?

It's always transactional, isn't it?

You know what you gain from it? And I say this as someone who has stepped in helped a number of times—including one mugging—is the sense that you did the right thing, when no one else would.

And, not feeling obligated to step in is the default position of most people. So don't worry, you're in large company.

Sophiatab · 2024-08-29T18:38:07+00:00

A man may not be legally obligated to do anything if he sees someone of either gender being mugged or assaulted, but actions have consequences. If it's obvious that a person ignored another person being mugged or assaulted, yes there will be social censure. Quite a lot of other people will consider them a coward and a disgrace to the human race. The world is a cold place. We fight to keep it from becoming a hellish dystopia by enforcing certain social codes. One of the biggest is Don't Ignore Others in Peril. Everyone is expected to do what they can feasibly do to keep his fellow human beings out of harm. In a situation like this if a man can't fight, he's supposed to do his utmost to otherwise find help. If he leaves someone else to torture and death. then society should expel him for the common good.

apresonly · 2024-08-29T18:57:41+00:00

yes its totally legal to just stand there and do nothing

its also illegal for men to abuse, rape and murder but that doesn't stop evil men from doing that, either.

berichorbeburied · 2024-08-29T18:58:14+00:00

I’m not dying for a random woman

That’s just stupid

If I get injured she’s not going to nurse me back to health or care at all

Nor will anybody else

Sink or swim

I’m not Batman

I’m not here to save the whole world

And no human being is here to save me

firefangled · 2024-08-29T20:48:02+00:00

When someone is in danger, gender shouldn’t play a role. If you are a human, you help.

hartlylove · 2024-08-29T20:49:25+00:00

Dude this goes for all genders. If you see a woman OR a person of another gender getting mugged, you can decide to walk away or help out. Personally I would attempt to help out anyone by at least calling the police…

goo_wak_jai · 2024-08-29T21:04:21+00:00

In China (and a lot of East Asian and Southeast Asian countries), NOT stepping in and offering help is the default code of conduct in those respective societies. Stepping in, as a stranger, to help another stranger, is a bizarre concept. If you do end up doing it--you would likely end being accused of the very thing that you were trying to help said individual from. The reason why that is--counter to what a lot of westerners believe--is that what happens to you or others is none of your business, unless you have some type of relations with the individuals affected. It sounds cold and harsh but that's the norm and no one will look at you strangely for not stepping in.

In many westernized societies though, often times, those very societal rules are the reverse. You would be looked at strangely if you don't at least contact the police from a safe place The reason why that is, is NOT that these countries or their inhabitants are morally superior, socially more evolved or something of that sort--no. Far from it. Westerners were all about 'might makes right' up until Christianity reversed the cultural trend, which is fairly recent, in the context of human history, at least. And that practice carried on until present day. Most modern day people erroneously believe that this was how society has always been in the western world but nay, nay. Not according to history.

All that to say that, yes, I agree with you. Men are not obligated to step in and help. All the folks who tried to shame you by saying some variation of 'karma'--what goes around, comes around--don't realize (or don't understand) that karma also works in the other direction too. You, as an individual, have no way to gauge or predict whether the 'good acts' that you did today will come back around to you at some future point in time but 'bad acts' will almost always come your way regardless of the totality of good actions that you've done so far.

Nevertheless, people take comfort in karma, in much the same way that they take comfort in God, and the concept of heaven and hell.

People are fickle. People will absolutely find and use anything to justify their atrocities done onto others--if it suits them in the moment.

Otherwise-Archer9497 · 2024-08-29T21:08:47+00:00

Yeah and if that guy leaves a heart broken widow and people behind, that is a terrible outcome. Most notions of chivalry are pathetic. I cannot believe people think men should put non-related women and even children or anyone above themselves, sometimes. Penalty for existing, second class citizens, much…

Senpai2Savage · 2024-08-29T21:15:05+00:00

Hell, unless i have something to gain from it, I legit don't care.

Tasty-Document2808 · 2024-08-29T21:36:00+00:00

You don't do it because it is an obligation you do it because it's the right thing to do.

Superman's message is lost on y'all

TomCatoNineLives · 2024-08-29T23:46:07+00:00

I'm not going to try to CYV on this. What I will do is point out that the vast majority of violent crime against women is perpetrated by intimate partners. Women are, in fact, significantly less likely than men to be victims of violent crimes committed by strangers. The focus that many men put on the threat that women face from abstract threats, like dangerous strangers, and men's supposed value in protecting women from these abstract threats, is often a way to avoid grappling with the reality that women face a far greater threat from the men in their lives than from anything those men would ever protect them from. Women are very well aware of the actual risks they face. (Even if they weren't educated about those threats by other women in their lives, women who are ever physically intimate with men learn about the physical differences between themselves and men very quickly.)

ArtifactFan65 · 2024-08-29T12:36:53+00:00

Yes I know women would happily vote to conscript me in some pointless war or even kill me if a 6ft male asked them to so I'm not going to risk my life to defend them.

driggsky · 2024-08-29T13:19:00+00:00

Well men are valued as literal meat shields for women. Ive seen women put men in dangerous situations and also women expect that strangers come save her as if she’s gonna save some stranger when the time comes. Women just expect men to save her and harm themselves for her

Apprehensive_Card858 · 2024-08-29T11:18:04+00:00

A corollary: women aren't entitled to not feel anxious in public spaces. Deal with your own anxiety disorder. Over in the city subs at least once a week there is a post with a gazillion upvotes where a woman went for a morning run, saw a man before sunrise, had an anxiety attack and ran away, and then posts the thing on reddit as if she narrowly avoided a gangrape because a man was walking along the sidewalk on the opposite side of the road at the same time.

hongsta2285 · 2024-08-29T13:12:46+00:00

Nope unless u are my family I honestly don't care u don't have to run away from the perpetrator.. you just have to make sure that there is someone between u and the perpetrator that is slower than u .

CaregiverFlashy4240 · 2024-08-29T09:29:07+00:00

You're not obligated to do anything. But of course you're a coward and a pussy if you don't. I always intervene, and yeah, one time that landed me in the hospital. Still do it, and guess what, also for men who need help. The world is a cold place because people like you who don't give a fuck about their fellow man, but some people care.

OffTheRedSand · 2024-08-29T09:24:24+00:00

i mean you can do whatever you want, or not do whatever you could in this instance.

but don't come back complaining about not being seen as a potential candidate for the other sex.

most men who did heroic things were praised not falsley accused, and were seen as hot and courageous heros.

you wanna stay week and nerdy that's your choice.

and btw there were instanses where weak and nerdy men even stepped up and they were looked at differently because bravery isn't just for macho men.

so idk if you want to paint yourself in a weird light be my guest no one care and no one is stopping you.

Difficult_Falcon1022 · 2024-08-29T13:35:38+00:00

No one said they are.

I've intervened in men getting assaulted many times, but I don't expect men the likes of you to do anything.

Also you're more likely to be the victim of knife crime in the US than the UK.

I'm from the UK and I've never been mugged. Hopefully we don't become as degenerate and violent as the US is.

Clementinequeen95 · 2024-08-29T14:42:17+00:00

It’s really weird that you’re probably fantasizing about women being physically hurt and you not stepping in to help them. Really weird brag

abaxeron · 2024-08-29T11:36:11+00:00

Check your local laws for Duty to Rescue!!!

And stay within the bare minimum of what you are obliged to do.

No random woman is worth risking your life for.

At the same time, no random woman is worth dirt on your criminal record and professional license revoked.

Immediate-School-952 · 2024-08-29T14:48:21+00:00

Women laughed when I was physically assaulted I'm sure if I had to relay them with the same coin I would be called a monster but yeah, they're so nice and 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾

No_Sun_658 · 2024-08-29T15:17:35+00:00

Women have to take care of their own asses. I would only help if the woman was a child or an elderly woman. I would never risk my life to help a healthy adult woman.

Modern Women are proving they didn't help men, the war in Ukraine is something I can't ignore, women fleeing the country and dates while the men in their country die.

unbannableBob · 2024-08-29T09:17:09+00:00

But bro how will she sex if u dun get your head beat in and her be aroused at the scene and get with the aggressor.

But no really this is a poorly thought out question.

Fabulous_HonestTea · 2024-08-29T11:31:21+00:00

A man isn't obligated to step in and save a woman from being mugged or assaulted.

A woman would rather just endure the mugging or assault than be rescued by a sub-5.

Title	CMV: A man isn't obligated to step in and save a woman from being mugged or assaulted.
Author	NeatEngineer5623
Upvotes	168
Comments	497
Date	August 29, 2024 9:08 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1f3xusf/cmv_a_man_isnt_obligated_to_step_in_and_save_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-a-man-isnt-obligated-to-step-in-and-save-a.1528745 https://theredarchive.com/post/1528745

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