Men should stop lying about having low standards

_Swans_Gone · 2025-04-08T15:40:33+00:00

A huge chunk of these men are thin(aka normal bmi), young and handsome. Like me. Exactly how low should my standards go? How old? How fat? How ugly? Come on, I'd really like an answer to this question.

reddit_is_geh · 2025-04-08T13:14:14+00:00

It's the sex pests that fuck it up. Lost's of dudes out there just wanna goon with a real person and don't give a fuck about standards.

AidsVictim · 2025-04-08T14:00:04+00:00

The low standard women you're describing have a very easy time dating, much easier than an moderately attractive and successful man.

High standards really only apply to a subsection of men, not average ones.

Nervous_Designer_894 · 2025-04-08T13:00:44+00:00

I've got a friend, she's 5'3" and probably 200lbs.

She told me she had 53 dates last year and multiple men wanting to be her boyfriend.

She's on a scale of one to 10, possibly a 3.

Next my Spanish friend, good looking guy, funny, makes good money, has his own apartment, but is 5'7", He struggles to get a date online and he's honestly not bad looking at all. I'd rate him objectively 7/10.

BrianMcTill · 2025-04-08T12:59:10+00:00

I have very high standards, for me only top tier women or nothing. At 40 I ended up nothing :D. My body my decision.

Bulky_Analyst_9168 · 2025-04-08T13:03:16+00:00

Men generally having no standards at all is exactly what makes their dating more difficult.

Not all men, but SOME men are willing to have sex with animals (seriously, I once read about brothel were an ORANGUTAN was kept as a sex-slave for years) and even dead corpses.

We all have encountered men who first try to hit a woman next to us, then when get rejected moves on trying to hit us with exactly same lines and moves to next one when again rejected. There is so much men who are obsessed about quantity over quality and they have no idea how disgusting their game is.

This is exactly WHY women simply have to have high standards, because if not, it's a direct way to get exploited. While men are complaining about how taking woman to a dinner date is waste of time and money because they can't afford to do that hundred times is exactly why some women want to be taken to a dinner date: they don't want to be one of the hundred. They don't want to be treated as a grey mass but individuals. Woman wants to feel that man is interested about her, not all the women around. And this causes frustration and even aggression in some men.

In the end, I think rather than standards, it comes to lack of respect in general. For some men when they see in internet a woman who doesn't match with their idea of beauty (let's say, woman would be old or big sized), they can't just roll over it. Even if this woman was not in any way option for them just her to existing causes an urge to them to run to the comment section and telling this woman how un-desirable she is. It's not about expressing a standard, it's just pure disrespect and hate.

For example: Let's have a Instagram Reel where old man is building something. Video is not about his attractiveness but about what he does. He might be already married and definitely not looking for comments about his looks or if followers would have sex with him or not. There is no single woman (except bots, but they are not real) commenting "Uh, you are so old and ugly, I'd never date you or fuck you". It would be ridiculous.

But when a woman makes video reel about where she does something, there is easily a lot of comments where men are telling their opinion about her looks and if she's desirable or not. Again: in context what has nothing to do with dating. Why this is normal? It's not because these men in comment section has standards and they are just telling about their preferences. It's about seeing an opportunity to simply be disrespectful and immediately use that opportunity.

KhadgarIsaDreadlord · 2025-04-08T14:47:37+00:00

Women you defined as "low standard" seem to have no issues getting into relationships. Now, the quality of those relationships may not be the best but it shows that there are plenty of men with standards they fit into.

Flip the script and men in similar situations will have a lot harder time finding women with standards low enough to date them.

Not saying that it's a good or a bad thing. It's just how it is.

Sidenote: slut is a weird inclusion becouse it already implies that someone is desireable enough to qualify as one.

Nervous_Designer_894 · 2025-04-08T12:57:48+00:00

What people mean by this is that literally all a woman has to do to be attractive by men is not be fat.

AdmirableSelection81 · 2025-04-08T12:52:15+00:00

The pigwoman experiment (plus related similar experiments) proves the OP wrong:

https://www.hiddendominion.com/the-online-dating-pig-experiment/

Literally the most revolting woman they could make (that doesn't even look human) in photoshop and 'she' still got tons of dm's/right swipes.

These experiments have been done more than 10 years, why are we still pretending the opposite is true?

Separate-Sector2696 · 2025-04-08T12:56:21+00:00

Low standards doesn't mean no standards whatsoever. You can have low standards while excluding people in completely different stages of life and dysfunctional human beings.

A lot of average men, their standards are "around my age, not obese or deformed, functional human being (i.e. has a job, not a druggie or criminal or hobo)". These ARE low standards, especially compared to the "quadruple 6" his female counterpart is asking for.

Toxic_LigmaMale · 2025-04-08T13:21:41+00:00

“Don’t be fat” is really the only one there the most guys agree on. Not even “thin”. Taking care of yourself isn’t that high a standard in a bubble. Relative to what women want? It’s nothing. Hell, even compared to what women call the “bare minimum”, it’s not asking much.

Richard_Konte · 2025-04-08T13:20:05+00:00

Men have “lower” or more correctly put flexible standards relative to them, and especially compared to women. Im a 5’11 slender asian dude with pale skin and thick chocolate brown hair and a nice smile. I would think my league would be other cute slim girls, but in the west I am expected to be ripped on top of being tall as a man to be even remotely in their league.

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-04-08T12:52:38+00:00

Do i have medium standards when i want: Thin, young, pretty, druggie, slut?

UndeniablyGone · 2025-04-08T14:51:11+00:00

God damn, people get to have some sort of standards for crying out loud xD even if they never dated anyone. I would never, ever expect a sober person to put up with a junkie just because they're having a hard time dating. That's absurd, dude. Get a grip.

ExcelsiorState718 · 2025-04-08T15:38:07+00:00

My standards are low I don't care she just needs to have a pulse and give consent.

wtknight · 2025-04-08T15:38:52+00:00

I think that the point is that they are substantially lower than women’s standards.

Muscletov · 2025-04-08T12:58:26+00:00

If men's standards were high, there would be a female loneliness epidemic, online dating data would show that unattractive women basically get zero attention and there would be systematic self-improvement movements for women.

Life-Income2986 · 2025-04-08T12:56:58+00:00

I would probably lean more towards a lot of very loud and weird men scream about wanting a certain type of woman but are so desperate for affection they would realistically take whatever and cling on for dear life regardless of the woman's sanity or bmi.

I'd say men are struggling more because algorithms prioritise outrageous sentiments and women just browsing the internet normally can't help but notice a lot of very loud men liking fascism and hating women and they decided they'd rather slam their tits in a car door than date men at this point in time. Also, we are now seeing the first generation of men who had the choice between playing sick games online or socialising with their peers and making the obvious choice reaching adulthood. I could be wrong though.

AlphaEcho971 · 2025-04-08T13:20:19+00:00

Men can date someone they perceive as having lower value than their own, while women will only date either equal or higher perceived value, that's the difference.

So you can be a stand out guy, textbook great man but if she perceives you as lower value, you simply will not even register on radar.

Main_Following1881 · 2025-04-08T13:39:36+00:00

Low standards: old, fat, single mom, ugly, druggie, slut

Bruh, womens equivelant would be broke, short, ugly, old, single dad, bald/balding, fat and maybe an incel

Like obv no one has standards this low

septiclizardkid · 2025-04-08T12:51:35+00:00

I don't see the issue of having high standards unless you're judging others, If you're waiting for the titular "Mr.Perfect" or some Queen Bee.

I have standards, because I'm not some horndog looking to lie with every girl I chat with.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-04-08T12:54:30+00:00

Men are less selective than women, though the gap is smaller when men might have to make a real commitment of time and resources. It's generally understood by sane people that (a) this selectivity gap has biological roots and (b) makes sense and is good for women so long as the selectivity level is reasonable.

Now, whether you think men have become overly picky in today's world is a different question. I think the answer, whatever it is, is likely to be complicated. I think men are still generally willing to pair with women of roughly equal mate value rank. However, lower mate value tier men may not appreciate or be as attracted to their matches as they might have been before digital technology.

Normal_Red_Sky · 2025-04-08T12:55:42+00:00

I assure you the bar is in hell and I still swipe left on about 40% - 60% of profiles in dating apps.

Tuatara77 · 2025-04-08T13:52:01+00:00

If you possess the same traits as what you're looking for in a partner (medium looks, healthy body, childfree, similar age) then I wouldn't say that's having high standards, just a basic appreciation of yourself. Don't settle for someone, know your worth.

Proudvow · 2025-04-08T13:04:17+00:00

Low standards: old, fat, single mom, ugly, druggie, slut

Are any of these women virgins?

If not then clearly some men had low standards and banged them.

High standards: Thin, young, pretty

Plenty of men were young and thin at some point so they were basically just looking for an equal in those fields. Not asking for anything more than you bring to the table certainly isn't high standards.

So lets be real men are all chasing the same thing and feel entitled to a very specific type of women. That's why men are really struggling.

The women you mentioned still largely have high standards compared to their male equivalents and even plain average men.

Freevoulous · 2025-04-08T13:41:01+00:00

who do you mean by "men"?

ta06012022 · 2025-04-08T14:30:45+00:00

The men who claim to have low standards aren't necessarily lying about it. Most men don't have low standards, but some do.

Consider Hinge data on the distribution of likes. The top 10% of men receive 58% of all likes, while the top 10% of women receive 46% of all likes. The first thing to note is that, despite concentrating their likes less than women do, men still use a significant portion of their likes on the same small group of women at the top. For that to be the case, most men have to be pretty selective on how they swipe on Hinge.

But it also doesn't mean that the guys who claim to have low standards are lying. The difference in concentration between men and women (58% vs. 46%) is likely due to a relatively small subset of men who have premium and like every woman. Those guys definitely exist and they have low standards. By doing that, they flatten the curve for women, resulting in less concentration at the top. If you were to exclude them, the distributions for men and women would look more similar.

Bottom line, most men are selective but some legitimately aren't.

Throw_r_a_2021 · 2025-04-08T14:37:34+00:00

I’ve never denied having very high standards for a relationship. The problem for a lot of men is that having high standards often condemns you to being single, something many men find intolerable. I’ve learned from experience though that I’m personally much happier being single and a bit lonely than going through the motions of a relationship with a woman I’m not actually attracted to.

I do feel entitled to a specific type of woman because I recognize that successful relationships require work and personal sacrifice. In my mind, the only way to justify that cost is if I get to be with a woman who meets my high standards of attraction.

Efficient-Baker1694 · 2025-04-08T15:03:19+00:00

Low standards is a subjective topic since each man definition/example of it is different. What you described as low standards OP could be regular standards for a man.

Also if we’re going to play it this way, then women should stop lying about not having unrealistic/impossible standards for men

Hungduck69 · 2025-04-08T15:27:22+00:00

This girl posts non stop and each and every one of her posts is whining about men

MarioWilson122 · 2025-04-08T17:56:01+00:00

Naw average and low value men struggle regardless even when they lower their standards for an old fat mom.

Having standards at all could mean going awhile without sex so yes they might desire and chase a thin young pretty woman but most dont have the smv for it.

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-04-09T11:19:48+00:00

Most men don’t even partner or even marry their type let alone their perfect ideal partner, combine that with the fact that men’s preference are already vastly more varied than women’s and yeah those standards would have to be pretty low.

Now that doesn’t mean every man has low standards the men who all women collectively are attracted to will obviously have higher standards they can pick whoever they want after all.

Kind_Mongoose_4730 · 2025-04-08T12:49:49+00:00

A lot of men are super picky and only go by looks. Let’s not pretend it’s basically all about looks (that they complain women do). Many are like “you gotta have an ass”. Or straight up tell you that you’re not their type.

Like women, if you’re not getting anything, you have to lower your standards.

justdontsashay · 2025-04-08T12:50:19+00:00

Men will fuck the ugly fat women though. That’s what they mean when they say they have low standards, because a lot of them will put their dick in anything.

It’s just that they’re jealous of the men who can get someone better, so they spend a lot of time bitching about it.

BaldieMonkey · 2025-04-08T14:12:30+00:00

You're coping so hard.

The only universal standard a man have : don't be fat.

And we are talking OBESE here, cause you can go on the subreddits for curvy/chubby/bbw, we are talking of millions of guys that folows them, and reddit is only a fraction of the population, and only a fraction of this population is actually sbscribing to subs.

But even when obese, we have seen these women having more than one partners.

Men doesn't care about height ; boobs ; economic situation ; social background ; even the age of woman, most guys are okay with the archetype of a milf, there is just no 25 years old guys that would be accepted by one of them to be in a relationship.

Only the incels and so called "alpha male", would tell you that they don't want a single mom or a "slut" ... until a single mom or slut actually hit on them.

The reality is a lot of men are okay with a lot of women, despite every baggage they might have, but these men are not seen as potential prospects by these women, because they overvalue themeselves.

AssPlay69420 · 2025-04-08T13:30:38+00:00

Just because men say they’ve got high standards doesn’t mean they do.

It’s a veneer of self respect but I don’t give a shit if my wife decides not to work, or at least takes on a much less stressful/part time job.

I’d much prefer her do something way less intensive, work sucks.

No man I know expects a meal cooked for him, certainly not in modern life.

Contrary to popular belief, we can do our own laundry, vacuum, sweep, throw a plate in the dishwasher, and even use a microwave ourselves.

It may be the bare minimum, but it’ll suffice for our purposes. We don’t care.

Put the lawn chair and Xbox in the living room and a mattress on the floor.

Most men would probably settle for somebody that basically hangs out and doesn’t hate them.

Have the chick take an edible and sit on the couch watching Netflix all day.

Nobody cares. That life sounds ideal in many ways to us anyhow.

0kayz00mer · 2025-04-08T14:00:30+00:00

Women tend to grow up getting a lot of attention while men do not, so women will select/filter upfront more to try to manage options while men will select/filter who they approach and how to enforce more standards down the road. To your point, men probably have just as high of standards but they can’t enforce those upfront or they’d rarely ever get any action.

HighlightDowntown966 · 2025-04-08T12:51:10+00:00

The issue from what Ive seen is that" old, fat, single mom" type women have higher standards and entitlement than young, thin, pretty women.

Because "they had their fun and seen it all before"

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Informal_Oil2279 · 2025-04-08T13:45:23+00:00

Low standards fit me well NGL I don't even bother with the slim fit ones they are too narcissistic

Cutiee_Salmon · 2025-04-08T13:51:14+00:00

If only men can get pregnant

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-04-08T15:03:24+00:00

It really depends on if you're looking for casual and LTR. The standards are a sliding scale. Lower for casual and higher for LTR.

GloeSticc · 2025-04-08T15:15:33+00:00

Men are just willing to SETTLE for less valuable women, likely because of the availability of options. It also makes them desperate and icky.

ExcelsiorState718 · 2025-04-08T15:36:58+00:00

From what I see most men do have low standards every ugly fat druggie slut I've met had kids.

Glass-Violinist-8352 · 2025-04-08T16:14:58+00:00

Most of them are not lying, they would f* almost anything that breath for real lol

Appropriate_Cook_508 · 2025-04-08T16:25:42+00:00

I talk to everyone I match with online.

I always swipe right.

How they look isn't a factor.

How they look at me and talk to me always is.

If you showcase masculine expectations you will not be in a relationship with me.

Unfortunately most women, regardless of shape, have those expectations.

My opinion? That's why they are single.

treadmarks · 2025-04-08T17:43:41+00:00

Before red pill I had low standards. I'm really lucky that women don't right swipe 🤣 Now I know how to avoid all the traps and bad situations. I'll probably be single forever but that's better than being in a bad situation or divorced.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2025-04-08T17:55:12+00:00

you know the bar is in hell for women when those are what's considered high and low standards. especially considering that a lot of men date 'age appropriate' women who are like a 5 or a 6 and might have a few extra pounds (but not obese).

Intelligent-Insight · 2025-04-08T19:57:31+00:00

You are confused. Standards and preferences are different things.

Also, what's with your standard grouping. Why are thin and young high and old and fat low? It takes more time to become old than to become young and it takes more food to become fat than to be thin. To be fat you must overeat consistently, to be thin you just don't eat more than you need.

Mountain_Sand3135 · 2025-04-08T21:21:48+00:00

since when is not weighing as much as a football linebacker considered a "high" standard

I mean a man having a job is considered what??? a High standard for men?

low standards to sleep with someone
High standards if you are going to meet my mom.

Shadowcat1606 · 2025-04-08T21:22:00+00:00

You describe the two extreme ends of a scale and i'm pretty sure most men are in between those.

ambrosedc · 2025-04-08T21:24:32+00:00

Typical misandrist post: low standards for thee but not for me. You would never tell a woman to settle for less, why do you misandrists constantly hector men for their high standards while asserting your right to high standards simply "because woman"

No-Appointment-8270 · 2025-04-08T22:11:09+00:00

Thin and young isn't a high standard as it easy for men to be the same too. And for "pretty" we just want an average woman, while women want an 8/10 man min + you expect him to have money, a car, a house, take you to trips while we don't.

Modern women are just completely delulu and don't even know they are.

meisterkraus · 2025-04-08T23:36:15+00:00

Define old and druggie is out completely. If that is too high of a standard. Let's burn the system down.

cantthinkofaname1010 · 2025-04-08T23:58:09+00:00

Not wanting old or obese women doesn't mean that men have high standards. There's nothing inherently special about young, in shape women. That's just average anywhere else in the world. Only in the west is a woman being young and in shape correlated with being vastly above average.

just_a_place · 2025-04-09T06:15:03+00:00

Men with high standards are called virgins.

What is your argument here?

We are all chasing the attainable. We don't got time to be chasing after illusions. There is no struggle. The issue is that the attainable always happens to be shit. The women we truly want turns out to be completely fictional most of the time (The Blue Pill) because women are NOT what they sell themselves to be as. Women are horribly flawed in so many covered up ways that when we do vet them or scratch just a bit of their veneer the majority just get straight up fucking horrified, disappointed, and severely disillusioned with what they find.

Women are like this package that comes in an extremely attractive wrapping. Once the wrapping (surface) is removed and we get more intimate we start to see who women truly are, and we find ourselves longing for the wrapping rather than the actual package.

Akitten · 2025-04-09T08:08:27+00:00

low standards mean you dont have many expectations and will accept virtually anyone.

No, it means you accept a relatively larger portion of the population.

Let's be honest OP, Do you think women or men are pickier in this case? If you took 100 random women, and ask a young man who he'd be willing to fuck, would it be a higher proportion than if you did that with a young woman and 100 random men?

Next_Measurement_824 · 2025-04-09T17:55:23+00:00

Men have a variety of types And yet all woman want are men that are over 6ft+.

No-Breath6663 · 2025-04-12T04:44:00+00:00

I'm an extraordinarily fit, healthy and attractive younger man.

I have a high paying and prestigious job.

I'm a normal height.

I'm extremely lean and strong.

I'm very handsome facially.

On dating apps I can expect a handful of likes per week, maybe 20 likes in a week. Almost every like is from an obese single mom or a whore.

I should not have to fight tooth and nail to find a normal woman who isn't a whore, and isn't obese.

And yet I do have to do that.

My last relationship? I A barely functional girl who couldn't hold a job, and would NONSTOP abuse the absolute fuck out of me. I kept her around because genuinely that is the best I could do. She had no kids. She seemed to actually pretend to love me when she was not abusing me.

This girl had no job, paid 0 of our collective bills (including her car and car insurance), did not clean or cook EVER.

So that was me and my situation, because it was the best I could possibly do.

And what has our society devolved into? I'm essentially put into a position where I am FORCED to wait until I'm 35 or 40 when women have no options and desperately go after the men who are in that age bracket. Only at that point will I be treated fairly, and it will be by a bunch of women who were too neurotic to figure out how to create a healthy relationship when they had the power to do so.

That is a truly disgusting factor of our reality.

balhaegu · 2025-04-12T05:08:54+00:00

Maybe the men believed in equality. A young fit man with low body count and a decent income wants a young fit woman with low body count and decent income.

Odd_Book_9024 · 2025-04-08T12:58:09+00:00

Yeah I’ve got extremely high standards

They are lower for sex than LTRs tho

berichorbeburied · 2025-04-08T14:40:58+00:00

Being sexually attractive is the lowest of standards

She doesn’t have to have a great job or a great education or charisma or a strong social circle or be famous or etc etc

Just be sexually attractive

And men who just want to be with a woman and don’t even care if she’s that attractive or not are at ground level standards

It’s pretty clear men really don’t have many standards

And that’s why it’s classified as low standards

Prudent_Heat23 · 2025-04-08T14:58:11+00:00

Does a woman wanting a man who’s young, slim and handsome have high standards?

Seems like “high standards” has a wildly different definition around here for men and women.

leemotint · 2025-04-08T14:22:58+00:00

Im just glad you recognize thin young and pretty is the standard. If you were more truthful you could also add blonde and white.

preferablyno · 2025-04-08T20:53:49+00:00

I guess it’s relative. Compared to women, men have very low standards for sex

SmartestManInUnivars · 2025-04-08T12:49:18+00:00

I wonder how men could actively and purposefully lower their expectations if they recognize their "standards" are too high.

mtrukproton · 2025-04-08T12:57:36+00:00

True true

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-04-08T14:13:08+00:00

They’re not, in a collective sense

eyewave · 2025-04-08T13:20:58+00:00

I know a guy with physical traits standards or even fetishes. Bloody nightmare what I hear from him.

"Oh yeah I've started seeing this girl she treats me so well... BUT..." (fill the blank with that one physical appearance insecurity you have)

learn2earn89 · 2025-04-08T14:05:11+00:00

Not sure about online dating but I know that in real life men tend to have higher physical standards and low standards on behavior.

Comfortable-Topic848 · 2025-04-10T17:40:48+00:00

Notice how all the “low standards” you mentioned are fully controllable?

Men should stop lying about having low standards

Comments

meninwomenfields

womenarealwaysvictims though.

Title	Men should stop lying about having low standards
Author	Glowupgirl111
Upvotes	4
Comments	383
Date	April 8, 2025 12:43 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1jucmwn/men_should_stop_lying_about_having_low_standards/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-should-stop-lying-about-having-low-standards.1548975 https://theredarchive.com/post/1548975