Should men be expected to intervene when random women are in trouble?

Teflon08191 · 2023-09-17T17:07:10+00:00

I don't mind helping, but I'm going to reserve risking my own safety for women who actually matter to me, regardless of anybody's expectations.

63daddy · 2023-09-17T17:36:45+00:00

I think it’s sad how often people could easily help others in need but don’t.

That said, men are are under no special obligation to act as rescue or police services. There are certainly times where intervening can escalate a situation or simply put another person at risk.

Many situations are best left to police and other services that are trained and equipped to intervene.

DivineDaedra · 2023-09-17T18:14:26+00:00

I think that the right thing to do, regardless of your gender or that of whoever is theoretically in danger, is to help as much as you safely can. It’s valiant to go beyond the bounds of reasonable safety but certainly not something that should be expected of every bystander.

No civilian should feel obligated or pressured into putting themselves in harm’s way for a stranger.

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-09-17T16:59:03+00:00

Men should do whatever they feel comfortable with.

I will say that it‘s quite possible that I might not be alive today if a random man hadn’t stepped in to help me 17 years ago when I was attacked while jogging on a bike path. He came along and pulled my attacker off of me. I am grateful every day for this man’s selfless act.

Treacle-Flimsy · 2023-09-17T17:05:03+00:00

It depends on the situation tbh. If I see a woman having problems with something I could help with, sure, I'll help if I can, but if it's something along the lines "Got chased by a mob", I will come nowhere near her

HungerISanEmotion · 2023-09-17T19:57:48+00:00

I'm going to risk my ass to protect my loved ones, anyone's children, and dogs.

If grown stranger is in danger and I need to risk my ass... sorry guys, that's just not how world works anymore.

wtknight · 2023-09-17T17:05:39+00:00

People should be expected to call 911 whenever anyone, man or woman, is in danger. Law enforcement can handle it after that.

pop442 · 2023-09-17T17:25:03+00:00

The woman in the video pulled a hoax on people to scam them on her GoFundMe and she's even been exposed as an abuser herself.

To answer the question, though, it really depends and is situational.

I'm 5'9 and 150 lbs. If a violent thug who's muscular and 6'3 is beating his girlfriend at a bus stop, the best method I can take is calling the cops. I will not risk my own life, though, to save a woman who I don't even know.

Now, if the situation is more so within my control, I might lend a hand and try to stop the fellow or help resolve the situation. But even that's a risk because many people carry weapons and don't fight like real men anymore.

Overall, it's sort of a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation because modern feminists tell men that it's toxic masculinity and misogynistic to interfere with a woman's choice in partners or contribute to violence even if it's on behalf of women.

But, on the flip side, they argue that men are evil misogynists for not playing the vigilante role with regards to abusive or violent men out there or doing enough to stop other men from committing atrocities.

4th wave feminists need to make up their mind and at least attempt to come up with a way to encourage men to handle these situations without us being the "bad guys."

PFgeneral · 2023-09-17T21:03:48+00:00

Was in a bar a few months ago and some guy was being physically abusive to this girl. Everyone was standing around doing nothing.

So I stepped in. Ended up getting sucker punched and jumped by him and two of his friends.

The girl still went home with the guy.

Never doing that again.

FightMeCthullu · 2023-09-17T17:16:21+00:00

I mean a random person should do what they can, ideally. Its the kind thing to do.

But intervening doesn’t have to be physically intervening - not everyone is able to do that safely, and it can make a situation worse.

You can call for help, call security, you can draw attention to a situation if it’s in public to try and get a group together to help.

Like….Recently, on a bus, I was happily listening to my music super loudly with my new headphones (fantastic noise cancelling headphones) and completely missed that an unwell man was yelling about killing everyone on the bus.

I noticed him bounding up and down the aisle but figured he was drunk. Like I said - great headphones. I was in the middle of the newest hozier album. I has no friggin clue.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked behind and a terrified teenage girl motioned for me to take of my headphones. Making noise, drawing attention to yourself in that situation is terrifying. I heard the guy (down by the bus driver) screaming abuse she whispered that he screaming about killing us and a bunch of people were going to get off the bus together to get away.

She was like, fifteen? Still in school uniform. Tiny little thing, petrified. She’d gotten my attention to warn me, to keep me safe.

She intervened *ETA as best she could without putting herself in danger. She waited til he was far away and distracted. She warned me so I wouldn’t be blindsided and alone with the bus driver and a guy who could be dangerous.

She didn’t try and fight or tackle the guy. She warned me so I’d be safe. Guy reached in to try and grab the steering wheel, bus driver slammed the breaks and opened the bus door and unwell guy just….got out. One of the other passengers had texted their friend to call the police.

So that’s 2 ways strangers intervened to try and stop a situation getting worse without jumping in and trying to fight someone.

My point being - if you can help, and there’s a safe way to do so, I think you should.

If you can help and it’s unsafe, then it’s up to you and I won’t judge either way.

Im not gonna take on a group of 4 drunks harassing someone in a club. Im 5”3. I don’t know how to fight. No one will judge me for not throwing punches.

But I will storm over to a security guard and get them to help because that’s their job.

I’ll go sit with someone who is all alone and getting harassed by 1 person.

And that night on the bus, I got off 2 stops early to walk that scared teenager home, just in case.

ETA: Other random times a stranger helped in non-aggressive ways when I was in trouble:

A group of girls pretended to know me at a bar when a guy was following me through it and grabbing me. There were 3 of them. Two came up and hugged me and linked arms with me while one got security. They bought me a water and took me to the bathroom until the third said the guy was gone.

The random guy who saw my friend and I getting harassed and bought his boyfriend over to sit at our table so the harasser couldn’t sit with us.

The new father at my work, when a customer was screaming at my coworker. He coolly stepped in and asked me to put his transaction through and as the woman screamed he just struck up a conversation with me. A line formed behind him and the woman was so bewildered she just left. He was buying presents for his wife and son, just born in the hospital the day before.

All good, kind people who helped me when I was scared or in danger or at risk. They didn’t fight anyone. They did what they could to help me when they didn’t have to. And I value their kindness.

So I’m a big believer in kindness and intervening as much as you safely can. And I’m super dangerous situations, doing what you’re comfortable with or getting help from someone who actually can help.

princelydeeds · 2023-09-17T22:13:03+00:00

Maybe if the woman is minding her own business and someone is bothering her for no reason, I'd help.

If the woman is being aggressive, hitting the man, getting in his face... you get what you get. I'm not getting in the middle of that.

Flat_Pollution2541 · 2023-09-17T16:54:18+00:00

This situation was faked, it has been proven. She had a allergic reaction and no one hit her, she just wanted money to scam people (She's done this before).

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2023-09-17T17:26:29+00:00

If I see random strangers in trouble, whether it's men or women, I keep walking. I am not going to risk my life and put myself in danger for some random stranger I don't even know. At best I might call the cops before I keep walking. It's better if well trained armed professionals handle that shit.

Puzzleheaded_Pin4857 · 2023-09-17T18:26:43+00:00

Nope. Not anymore unless it’s his job. Any decent person should call a police officer, but putting oneself in harms way is not owed to random women. Women don’t need men in personal life because of either good incomes or good government programs. Women need men in society for the blue collar rigorous jobs while having no gratitude for the food that they don’t farm, the fuel from oil fields where they don’t work, their condo in a high rise in which the iron they would not erect and eating the Alaskan crab that they are too weak to fish. We are worker drones now. If you associate with the wrong people, wear the wrong thing in the wrong neighborhood (neighborhoods that sensible men wouldn’t feel safe about wandering) you are on your own. We are equal now. But are we?

Blind_dog_barking · 2023-09-17T20:46:01+00:00

In this day and age, it’s a liability to play the white knights when a random is in trouble. Remember that no good deed goes unpunished. Call the cops and stand aside!

Lovers691 · 2023-09-17T20:36:50+00:00

No, men shouldn't be expected to help women, that being said people should be encouraged to help other people regardless of sex or race to the best of their ability and considering their safety.

jpla86 · 2023-09-17T17:10:54+00:00

Nope. Women no longer need men, remember?

Why would I help a group of people that don’t like me and sees me as a creepy predator because of my gender?

Barneysparky · 2023-09-17T16:48:18+00:00

Call me crazy but I like helping my fellow humans to the best of my ability.

Internal-Fig-7902 · 2023-09-17T16:52:58+00:00

Regardless of whether it's a woman in trouble or a man, I most likely would, and not because it's what a man would do. But you never know in those situations, you could find yourself running the other way.

MidoriEgg · 2023-09-17T17:45:20+00:00

While I don’t think anyone should be obligated to step in, and some situations are riskier than others and too dangerous to jump on the middle of, I as a woman have stepped in before when it’s been someone weaker than me being targeted(ie, like an older person, homeless person, teen) and its nice to think the community protects each other. I’d like to think at the very least, if it’s too dangerous to jump in the middle that a man or woman nearby would either call the police/ambulance or get help if someone’s being assaulted.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-09-17T19:34:48+00:00

"expected" by whom? why do you all care so much about womens internet bullshit

Wolvengirla88 · 2023-09-17T21:08:53+00:00

People should act in the way they would want others to act. That means everyone is responsible for intervening. If the physically large people nearby are men, they should intervene. If there is a woman nearby who knows martial arts or has a weapon, great. Others should call the police or yell for more help. Women absolutely should not expect to stand still and wring their hands shrieking.

daniellederek · 2023-09-17T21:50:47+00:00

Nope, not my monkeys not my circus. Plenty of men are paid to intervene and have access to compensation if intervening leads to injury or other harm.

LoFiPanda14 · 2023-09-17T16:55:19+00:00

Needs to be more context based on specific scenarios.

RevolutionaryFig929 · 2023-09-17T18:07:07+00:00

No, I would do what I can if i observe something bad happening, at least call the police or emergency, try to get other people involved.

I would however definitely not step in, if i think its some kind of relationship fight

jsmooth3363 · 2023-09-17T19:28:45+00:00

No, you never know where a physical confrontation will go. Call the police.

princedune · 2023-09-18T00:54:26+00:00

No, because if the scenario was reversed I know most women wouldn't even piss on me if I were on fire.

Proudvow · 2023-09-17T21:03:35+00:00

Absolutely not.

Women owe men nothing in modern society so the same should apply in reverse.

Sad_and_grossed_out · 2023-09-17T17:53:14+00:00

Generally I was raised on the idea that passively watching and allowing people to do bad things makes you just as bad as the person doing the bad thing.

Obviously if someone is getting assaulted and they have a weapon and there's no group around that outnumbers the bad guy you should probably just call the cops instead of getting involved physically. If there's a bunch of men around one man assaulting someone it's pretty shitty of them to not step in and stop it.

I remember watching this social experiment where a guy (who was part of the experiment so it wasn't real) very obviously slipped somethjng into a drink of a women participant, and every man around who saw it either did nothing, or worse, laughed about it. The only person who stepped in to warn the woman about her drink being drugged was another woman. That means the men were largely perfectly fine with that abhorrent behavior. It's pretty depressing to realize how many men are perfectly fine with women getting assaulted, and then they wonder why women are so cautious when trying to date them. Men really are our worst predator.

IronDBZ · 2023-09-17T17:15:48+00:00

I'd rather we all intervened, preferably at the same time with overwhelming force.

People are too passive nowadays

Oli_love90 · 2023-09-17T17:39:22+00:00

No, I don’t think men should be expected to intervene. It’s unfair pressure on bystanders that could easily get men injured or killed. It’s also unfair to assume these men have the ability to deal with he situation - they’re not police officers and there’s no guarantee they’re even strong enough to fix the issue.

M_LaSalle · 2023-09-17T17:44:54+00:00

My reaction would be dependent on circumstances. I once did help a random women who was being attacked by calling the police. The man was her husband and it was a domestic dispute that got out of hand. I had a gun (I have legal CCW permit) but the guy had no weapon, she can survive being slapped a couple of times and I didn't feel like being thrashed through the criminal justice system. When the dude saw me calling the cops (I was 50 yards away) he got pissy but I was inside a vehicle and so had an exit strategy.

I am willing to intervene in some circumstances, notably if the woman is in immediate danger of death or serious bodily harm and the police cannot be summoned in time. This general rule has a couple of exceptions, but this being Reddit I won't say what those are.

AbsolutelyNobody0 · 2023-09-17T22:08:21+00:00

I absolutely do not expect it from myself or others. I regard it as generally inadvisable.

operatowers · 2023-09-18T00:06:14+00:00

Not in domestic disputes between couples because there's high likelihood it will end up as 2 (the abuser and his victim) against 1 (you) when the police arrive. That's why if it's not a DD, women should make that clear "I don't know him" "He's a stranger" etc.

weightyboy · 2023-09-18T00:18:48+00:00

When women en-mass return to their traditional roles, they can have an expectation of men fulfilling theirs. Until then, no, stay strong and independent who "dont need no man."

Nihi1986 · 2023-09-18T01:04:47+00:00

Used to think I'd sacrifice myself if necessary, but nowadays I will just help anyone the best I can without risking much.

I do believe a good man should help a random woman, but that's also what my brother believes and he now has a broken jaw and the woman he helped keeps fucking and dating her abuser, so... well, definitely not the time to have this kind of mindset. As a man you would probably forever remember whoever risked his life to save you. Pretty sure the modern women would forget about a noble sacrifice like...the next day.

social_mules_alt · 2023-09-18T01:18:21+00:00

Call 911 and let the professionals handle it.

BackAgain12345678910 · 2023-09-18T01:21:05+00:00

Typically, yeah. Our instincts even drive us to do so. But the way women are today? No. U shouldn’t. Mind your business. Might get you into trouble.

prettymuchredpilled · 2023-09-18T01:29:20+00:00

Men are not women's personal bodyguards. I'm not risking my safety for a female that I'm not boning, or that isn't a blood relative.

LotBuilder · 2023-09-18T01:35:56+00:00

I was a bouncer for several years and saw a number of good samaritans get stomped into a puddle for trying to intervene in a fight or argument that they were not originally involved in. My involvement is a very case by case basis.
I would not sit by and watch some completely innocent party get beaten down but if you were a willing participant… I am not running out into a dark parking lot to get stabbed or shot over a fight you asked for.

In a might club or bar setting, I would say at least 80% of fights are escalated and set off by women. Guys will huff and puff but usually they don’t start swinging until one of the women throws gas on the fire. You see her going nuts and the guy with her is trying to calm things down. It is always a bad situation as he is the guy jumped on while she just screams gets dramatic.

Samphilbags · 2023-09-18T02:25:34+00:00

Absolutely NOT.

Men don't owe women shit.

If men did this, then that's effectively crowd sourcing protection and reinforces the notion that women "don't need a man."

That still doesn't stop simps from intervening, at the risk of their own life, into the turmoil of women they don't know in a desperate attempt at virtual signaling.

Women have agency. Period. If they are concerned about their health and safety then they need to take proactive steps to mitigate risks of harm. Men have to do this every day!

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-09-17T17:30:28+00:00

I think women should get licensed to carry firearms to protect themselves and be prepared to use them if a man physically assaults them.

Ylduts · 2023-09-17T18:21:18+00:00

Nope. Not going to happen, I am a successful cis white male and have been told to sit down and be quiet. How can women possibly be mad about me listening to their requests and respecting them?

Workaholiconew · 2023-09-17T18:44:32+00:00

Men should get the hell away from society at large.

Lonely-Tangerine6581 · 2023-09-17T17:52:45+00:00

If you believe that men have more of a moral obligation to step in and help someone, the implicit assumption is that is because they are more capable of doing so, being bigger and stronger.

If you are being intellectually honest, that also means that the VAST majority of women should not ever be in positions where being bigger and stronger is an advantage, such as the military, police or firefighters.

You really can't have it both ways!

Whiskeyjack1982 · 2023-09-17T17:58:55+00:00

No, such a thing would be patriarchal and the majority of women wanted to smash the patriarchy.

They can handle themselves just as well as a man can. Lets give them the equality that they claimed that they want.

The reality is this. Women became liberated from their gender roles and thats great. I support it. I also want a fair just society so that means that men should also be liberated from their gender roles as disposable and as protectors.

AMDisappointment · 2023-09-17T17:08:40+00:00

Correct me if I'm wrong but that woman apparently was faking it. It was an allergic reaction, not actually a brick hitting her face.

Weird-Hovercraft6882 · 2023-09-17T20:51:04+00:00

Women only want to be equal when it benefits them. They want equal pay but don’t want to be coal miners or saturation divers or plumbers.

They want equal rights but don’t seem to be signing up to join the military.

They want to receive the same awards as men in sports but don’t work as hard to perfect the craft.

It’s all a sham and this is another example.

Laziestguy17 · 2023-09-17T17:41:06+00:00

I would help the trouble maker tbh. Men dont owe women anything yay

januaryphilosopher · 2023-09-17T17:06:23+00:00

I'd expect anyone to help when another person was in trouble if they could. That includes myself.

JamesSFordESQ · 2023-09-17T19:33:29+00:00

I think that is a social expectation, yes. I used to share that view point and always made an effort to help people in bad situations, but not anymore, especially not for a random woman. They've (western women) gone out of their way for years to shriek about how men are useless evil brutes and rapists and manipulative monsters. I'm just acting on what they've said and removing my offensive presence from the situation.

AidsVictim · 2023-09-17T19:34:23+00:00

The answer basically depends on what sort of society you live in. Town where you have a social network and some level of societal trust? Yes. Urban center filled with millions of strangers? Well maybe the answer should still be yes, practically it's no.

Women migrate to urban centers and embrace mass immigration at a greater rate than men, especially younger women. The dropping of social standards and constraints in a modern urban society is a double edged sword.

anonymous375555 · 2023-09-17T21:03:42+00:00

I hope I have the courage to help whoever needs me. But by all means if anyone, man or woman, think they are entitled to my help they can go f**k themselves.

MotherPermit9585 · 2023-09-17T21:17:40+00:00

From a legal standpoint at least in the U.S. the answer is no, no one is obligated to help another person unless their actions led to the other person’s injury. For example if I hit someone with my car and they’re injured, I’m legally and morally obligated to call 911 and render aid to the best of my ability which may include CPR.

That being said, I think anyone male or female has a moral (but not legal) obligation to at least call 911 if someone is being attacked in plain sight. Putting their own life at risk is not necessary in my view and may not help the situation if they are not particularly trained or competent.

I’m a very small person and me intervening to “protect” someone from a male much larger than me would be foolish. Now if I happen to be carrying a gun maybe there’s more I could do to intervene but there’s also a chance I could make the situation worse. The perceived vulnerability of the victim as well as the characteristics of the perpetrator would also weigh in on my decision regarding how much to intervene. For example if it’s a pit bull attacking a 5 year old boy, I would go all in putting my life on the line to intervene. But if it’s a domestic dispute between 2 adults, nah, I’m gonna call 911 and call it a day.

Odd-Luck7658 · 2023-09-17T22:31:12+00:00

Treat other people the way you'd want to be treated.

abaxeron · 2023-09-17T22:45:23+00:00

Learning the lesson took me only three cases of a woman "in distress" being in reality either a scammer, or a gang aimer.

I mean that the answer is "No". When the last woman covered in fake tears pretending to have lost her wallet to milk guys or outright lure them into danger goes extinct, then we'll be talking.

Also. This video looks absolutely nothing like blunt trauma.

edgyny · 2023-09-17T23:35:18+00:00

Isn't this why we have concealed carry?

Intrepid_Ad3062 · 2023-09-18T00:16:57+00:00

No, what happened to her was WRONG but she was acting foolish beforehand. It’s people’s choice how they want to behave in public, sadly in this society it comes with consequences. I don’t want my man or my brother protecting people who want to take such risks on their own accord. Sorry. They can tell from a distance or call the police or help her after, maybe, but… sorry lady.

Spyro7x3 · 2023-09-18T01:01:32+00:00

I don't expect anyone to do anything. That said I would because I love chances at physical conflict.

Prestigious-Delay759 · 2023-09-18T01:36:42+00:00

You're not compelled to help anyone regardless of their circumstances and regardless of your circumstances. You're only morally compelled and legally compelled to not harm people.

CountMandrake · 2023-09-18T08:03:03+00:00

Depending on where I am, and the kind of society I'm living in.

In my country we do not have a disfunctional society (yet) so I have the duty, as a strong member of my community, to help those in need and protect the weaker ones.

So yeah, here I would help a woman. I've actually done it before.

I actually almost killed a man once because he attacked me after I asked him to stop being agressive to his wife and child. He was on drugs I guess, and the fight got really nasty, he pulled a knife and I grabbed an iron bar and knocked him up.

The police came, called an ambulance, they picked the dude and took him to the hospital. He was very injured, and went into a coma for almost a month.

The police took me to the station, interrogated me and the woman, she said I acted in her defense and the child's, and within two hours I was free and the chief told me I had done well, and the woman even thanked me despite she was very worried about her husband's health.

I perfectly understand why men in the US, for example, wouldn't want to go into that tho.

I've seen similar things to what happened to me happening in the US, and with similar or worst outcomes, and the men who jump in to help get bashed and publicly shamed afterwards.

Instead of being the heroes, they become the villains for harming a criminal.

I remember of one case that happened when I was in the States, a woman was attacked on a train by a mad man who almost killed her, and she blamed it on "two white men" who were there and did nothing.

It came to my mind recently when I heard on the news something similar happened recently, and a marine got into a fight in a train (what's going on with public transports in the US man?) with a mad man who was threatening to kill people. The brawl ended badly for the criminal, and the media was saying the marine was "racist" and a "white supremacist" for killing an innocent man who was mental.

I found it actually funny that the two incidents were so similar, the difference is that the men involved acted differently, yet in both cases they were converted into the villains.

I digged a bit more and I found out the dude who died had a criminal record, like 50 something arrests or something like that.

Now, that's a highly disfunctional society, and one in which laws and ethics are not clear enough for any sane man to willingly partake in enforcing the social order and secure peace in their communities.

So yeah, in that case I would leave it to the cops to figure things out. It seems that they still cannot enforce law without becoming the villains, but at least they are getting paid for it, I don't.

Because, in the end, when a community become "lawless", the security forced are never enough to keep crime at bay, and you need men (young, capable, good civilian men) to keep other bad men in check.

So yeah, while I agree men should be always willing to help those who need it, I would advice men to be always careful and think logically.

You may think you're doing the right thing in helping a woman, but depending on the society you live in, that woman could also testify against you to take the moral high ground and save her neck from social judgment. Women specially are very fickle beings when it comes to social mores too.

ambrosedc · 2023-09-18T11:57:51+00:00

If women claim they have to look out for other women around problematic men, then men have to look out for other men around problematic women and the situations they get involved in. Accept and fume

_Remember_me_not_ · 2023-09-18T12:18:25+00:00

No, it's 2023, that would be misogynistic. Why would you want to insinuate that a woman cannot defend herself or that another woman cannot help her instead of men? Strange men approaching women is toxic behavior. Call the police and if police wants to help then it will otherwise, they are not paid nearly enough now a days for the crap they have to go through anyway and also, the criminal would be set free for a nominal bail anyway, why make a fuss about it?

Reminds me of the nigerian woman who went around slapping white men on video as a form of "reparation" and then in another instance got slammed on face by a brick by a latino or some non-caucasian guy for continuous provocation and none of the black men around them helped her and then she came back online calling out the cowardice by the black men.

TLDR: It's not worth it anymore. Chivalry is dead and men are now free of the slavery imposed by society.

Appropriate-Ad-8030 · 2023-09-18T12:40:40+00:00

No one is paying me to be their body guard…next

nonplussedminus · 2023-09-18T12:56:09+00:00

I would jump right into the fray and defend that m'lady with my life

Then lean in, tip my fedora and whisper "It was my privilege"

Immediate_Rice9213 · 2023-09-17T17:21:53+00:00

Im not going to do more than point and laugh if i see women in trouble. Thats equality.

Spare-Estimate5596 · 2023-09-18T00:29:06+00:00

If men are not entitled to sex why are women entitled to protection?

Adept-Emphasis4104 · 2023-09-17T17:38:34+00:00

No because like this case it can be completely a hoax.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-09-17T18:24:11+00:00

Yes, good PEOPLE--man or woman--do what they can to help other good people. Since men are stronger, that means they are more likely to be able to intervene in a physical altercation effectively. But this is ultimately not a gendered duty.

cromulent_weasel · 2023-09-17T21:08:15+00:00

To each according to their need. From each according to the ability.

sweetbrown89 · 2023-09-17T21:20:32+00:00

I’m a former nurse and the vast majority of people won’t even help if someone is bleeding out on the floor (most will stand around and take pictures)

I don’t expect anyone to help at this point…and the world is full of crazies & assholes because enough people won’t help — they just expect someone else to do it

Men have greater physical strength & size, so the real hope is that people who have the power to do something use it

If everyone around jumped in, they could stop really bad stuff without anyone getting hurt

People are too self-involved and it doesn’t matter by gender

I’m the type of person to step in (I have multiple times) — I’ve yelled at men harassing teen girls and called the cops on guys…I have no problem recording what is going on as I call the police

I specifically only go for men who are the same type (screw 6 figures or a human fashion accessory) because at the end of the day, we all want someone who helps out when the shit gets real

John_Oakman · 2023-09-17T17:36:28+00:00

Only males who adhere to social norms and thus wishes to fulfill their social obligations, which certainly does not include based & redpilled real men of the manosphere (who have fundamentally rejected such notions of social obligations).

And remember, fulfilling social obligations is the bare minimum, and thus expecting anything out of it is entitlement.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2023-09-17T18:02:26+00:00

The idea that men should be stepping in feels like it contradicts a core tenant of "everyone is equal!". Why are only men in the immediate vicinity expected to step in.

I dunno what happens in usa,but if some bad thing happens in a public space,all people react to it, irrespective of gender.

Women tend to lean towards left parties, and left parties tend to lean towards a softer view on crime. The sort of people who commit awful crimes like this assault tend to have long histories of crime which have built up to this point. If right wing governments were a bit more popular (as they are with men), then guys like this would be in a prison cell or hanging from a rope. We want a safer society, but a certain half of the population don't seem to have the stomach for it.

"Bruh you should vote only based on one issue only,trust me"/s

Not to mention the assumptions are ambiguous at best

Dry-Cricket3524 · 2023-09-17T18:42:20+00:00

Yes. Point in blank yes.

Nothing to do with gender, though. If you see someone who needs help (I.e they are ein immediate danger, carrying something heavy and drop something or need help with opening a door, need directions, etc), you should help. It's basic human decency, and if we build a culture where people help each other, you will receive help too if you need it.

I always help whenever I can and whenever given the chance, regardless of gender.

Veloci-Tractor · 2023-09-17T18:45:17+00:00

any person should help any person they see in trouble if they are able

y2kjanelle · 2023-09-17T17:55:02+00:00

Everyone is equal we’re mandated by law to help stop a crime if we witness it. There were a bunch of men and women who watched a woman get raped on a train and recorded it and were pursued as accessories to the crime.

I don’t give a fuck if people are scared to risk their measly lives that they hate anyways. Call 911 then. Do something and stop complaining about jack shit when you would be begging someone to help you if you were being held down and raped or beaten or mugged. (General yous).

Tbh the fact that this had to be ASKED in this sub just proves that there’s a huge issue. It should never be a question whether a man or anybody should be helping a woman or anybody in danger. Come on y’all. How utterly disappointing and disgusting.

Dstar538888 · 2023-09-17T17:32:56+00:00

Men don’t have to intervene if they really don’t want to, but you also can’t complain if modern women don’t want you approaching them anymore, which would, therefore, make dating extremely difficult for you all because how else are you gonna met women? Dating apps don’t work for the majority of you, so what are you gonna do if more and more women stop being receptive to your advances in public?🤷🏽‍♀️ this is all going to have a negative domino effect on men that we are currently seeing right now…men have demonstrated over and over again that they cannot handle rejection and will even react violently or aggressively when a woman says no to them…

this is why we lie to you guys about having boyfriends or pretend to be interested in you, take your number, and then ghost you once we can safely get away from you 😬 if men are gonna go out of their way to make us feel unsafe, then why would we try to accommodate you guys with your dating struggles??? It’s part of the reason why so many guys are single and sexless now, so yeah you guys can refuse to intervene and absolutely do what you want 100%, but don’t then turn around and act surprised as to why women are not receptive to random men approaching them in public anymore 🤷🏽‍♀️

Odd-Luck7658 · 2023-09-17T22:39:42+00:00

If there were more right wing men like you there would be more men doing nothing when they see a crime committed.

mrcs84usn · 2023-09-17T17:37:07+00:00

Didn’t we just talk about this less than a week ago?

esdebah · 2023-09-18T00:37:27+00:00

I'd feel pretty awful if I didn't. No one is debating the fact that men are on average more physically imposing and powerful than women. Testosterone also (as any trans man will tell you) is a hell of a drug and does increase aggression. So you don't have to, but if you can...

And bullshit on your 'right wing policies.' Our incarceration system has only secondary interest in lowering violent crime. Violent crime has fallen steadily while our prison population has ballooned mostly because of non-violent offenders and the mentally ill.

Ok_Log5667 · 2023-09-18T12:36:51+00:00

Yes. Women are some of the most vulnerable members of society. If you, as a man, see a woman getting attacked and don’t help her, it’s basically the same as if you saw someone fall out of a wheelchair and not help them up. They cannot help themselves and it’s your duty as a man to fix the situation.

I’ve gotten into multiple fights to defend a woman. And sometimes it worked and I helped them. And sometimes it didn’t and I got beat up badly. But either way I was happy to sacrifice myself to be on the receiving end of those punches rather than a woman and have to watch her get seriously hurt.

If you saw a 5 year old kid getting beat up, would you help them, or would you instead say “oh no I can’t help because I might get punched!”.

No, you go and help, and the same should be done when a woman is assaulted.

Much_Very · 2023-09-18T12:51:18+00:00

My husband (Iranian) steps in for women most of the time. Mostly, it’s been good, but there have definitely been scary moments for us.

He’s not Black or visibly “Brown”, so him taking up for Black and Brown women can be confusing to most men (he’s fair, with red facial hair, etc.) That needs its own thread, tbh. Brown men who are “visibly White” with Brown moms/dads who stand up for minority women.

But he does not believe that men should be sexually aggressive towards women, or generally aggressive, and I love that about him. My dad’s platoon was forbidden from leaving the military base because so many reported violent rapes of minors happened in Japan during that time (Okinawa, where I was born!,) so I have I have extra love for men who actually look out for the safety of women.

ArmoredRein3r · 2023-09-17T23:12:42+00:00

Pitching fascism.

Grand-Inspection2303 · 2023-09-17T23:26:35+00:00

You're free to not intervene and the rest of us are free to think you're less of a man and a coward for not doing so.

The idea that men should be stepping in feels like it contradicts a core tenant of "everyone is equal!".

Only if "everyone is equal" is taken to mean "everyone is the same," which is obviously ridiculous at a basic biological level. Every species has different roles for the sexes and it's based on actual differences between the sexes. Social theories that have been around for 0.1% of human history are not going to somehow negate this reality. Now, if a woman happens to be in a position where can intervene, she should do so, but the protector role will more often fall on men and this role has grown out of biological differences.

Women tend to lean towards left parties, and left parties tend to lean towards a softer view on crime.

Thinking people deserve to be victims of crime because they voted for the wrong party is rather extreme. And it's questionable whether right-wing crime policies actually lead to less crime. But even if we accept your premises, what about the large minority of women who vote for conservative parties? It's not like there's overwhelming odds that the woman you refuse to protect is a liberal voter - for example, 42% of women voted for Trump. Do they deserve to be left to rape and murder simply because other women along with a minority of men voted for the left?

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Cethlinnstooth · 2023-09-17T17:39:49+00:00

I think when someone is getting hurt everyone should be expected to do whatever is the best it is reasonable for them to do under the circumstances. Sometimes that's just running away and calling the police, sometimes it is directly intervening, sometimes it is readying oneself to intervene if it goes past a certain point etc. I don't think gender is in itself the determining factor in what is reasonable in a situation.

I also think anyone whose opinion on this isn't very similar to mine probably hasn't been in particularly many situations that were spinning out of control due to violence. It was ridiculous common at two of my previous workplaces. I've seen grown men in the prime of life turn tail and run and the man who was getting beat down have nothing but contempt for them because he didn't expect to ever have his arse saved by the people who ended up saving him.

If you completely rule out all risk on someone's behalf just because they are a particular gender or race or class or whatever... you're kind of an asshole.

Safinated · 2023-09-17T18:27:51+00:00

Nope, and they should be praised if they do

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-09-17T21:20:30+00:00

No, I wouldn't intervene as I care about self preservation.

Spare-Estimate5596 · 2023-09-17T22:17:18+00:00

I wouldn’t. What good can come from helping someone else. They can kill you and who is going to help your family. It you go to far and kill him then you go to prison.

amendment64 · 2023-09-17T22:43:01+00:00

All these comments about call the cops.... Have any of you actually had the cops arrive in a timely way where they could have actually helped a situation? I know I'm in the US and our police are generally regarded as incompetent at best, but are you folks actually getting decent response times? Cops are an absolute no show where I live.

Fit_Kiwi9703 · 2023-09-17T22:58:12+00:00

If you're in a dangerous situation, wouldn't you want the people near you (Male or Female) to help you?

This is much broader than a gender or political issue. Bad things happen all the time, not just person-on-person crime. You could be in an accident or a natural disaster, and you better hope that a stranger will be there to intervene!

ExploreBeyond7 · 2023-09-17T23:00:43+00:00

I’m separate to the world. I don’t care if bad things happen. Society doesn’t care for me, so I don’t care for it. If people get hurt, then that’s a shame. Not my problem.

Dormouse_in_a_teapot · 2023-09-17T23:55:47+00:00

Do as your conscience bids you. You are the only person who has to live with your feelings about yourself.

lostatlifecoach · 2023-09-18T00:03:54+00:00

I'm as likely to help a 100 pound gay kid getting attacked as I am a woman and for the same reasons.

It's absolutely shit when people bully and hurt someone just because they can. Society as a whole needs to address this any chance they get.

eye_of_gnon · 2023-09-18T00:24:39+00:00

This depends which country I'm in

In my own country: Yes

In the West: depends, prob not

shabby18 · 2023-09-18T01:06:55+00:00

First things first, irrespective of sex and situation, a person needs to be compassionate and help out when the situation asks for it. That being said, you should also be able to access the situation and yourself before jumping in head first. Like if you don't know how to swim, don't jump in to save a drowning person. Help doesn't necessarily mean putting yourself in harms way, it can be a friendly support or even assistant from far like calling for police or buying a bunch of essentials like first aid and handing it to a person and moving on. Due to the emotional state of things the person in need might ask more of you but you can always step back. Any defense arts class you go to will always stress, avoid a fight at all costs, in case you can't, then fight.

Second, these days it's hard to help understand if a woman is in distress. It happened to me twice. Once in India and other time in the US. I saw that a man and woman are having a loud conversation and the woman was trying to push the man off in a dark alley, I thought oh, a case of SA or mugging etc (I didn't want to engage in hand combat) but I still wanted to help out. So I stood at the junction of the busy road and alley and shouted out loud, "hey girl is the man troubling you" both times, I got a response that he is her boyfriend and it's all good.

Operatesinreality · 2023-09-18T01:24:50+00:00

Everyone who can SHOULD react. What is appropriate reaction should be judged case by case. But I am not interested in living in a world where I or others do nothing because they don't have to. If I see a situation where I cannot help much, I call the police. I don't ignore it. If it's drastic and urgent? I will do something. If I see a child, a man, a woman, or an animal being hurt I am not going to pretend I don't see it. I find that immoral and I would never get rid of the guilt. I always react, no matter how afraid I am because living in guilt is scarier.

herstorybuff · 2023-09-18T01:37:24+00:00

People who say they wont help are just shitty human beings. Only men on here make a big deal out of it and have to announce their refusal (kind of reminds me MGTOW) like.. just be on your way then no announcement needed. Obviously both men and women should do whatever is within their capabilities and if it is too dangerous no one is telling you to jump into the fire. But yes, help when and if you can?

JohnnyKemmer009 · 2023-09-18T02:42:58+00:00

I've seen women assaulting men in their cars in traffic or stabbing them and the man is bleeding all over the sidewalk in the neighborhood running from her. It's a white knight fantasy that women are innocent angels. They start fights, are are pretty dangerous with weapons and rarely face legal consequences.

Women tend to lean towards left parties

You are hijacking with right/left politics and are delusional.

Pew Research data of last election: 48% of women voters cast ballots for GOP candidates in 2022 while 51% favored Democrats

Not only is that a statistical tie, both US parties are centrists and neo-con as there is no socialist party in the US.

SpecificLogical971 · 2023-09-18T03:48:56+00:00

I’d intervene if a man or woman was being harmed. Or at least call the police

DopeAFjknotreally · 2023-09-18T04:14:55+00:00

I think anybody should intervene when anybody else is in trouble

Shoddy-Donut-9339 · 2023-09-18T04:29:50+00:00

I would. Random men protect random woman in public. Cops are not going to arrive in time and may be useless even if they do arrive..

I was growing up an escalator at a subway station, and I heard what I interpreted to be a purse snatching. Young man, of a race that I’m slightly intimidated by was right, running down the up escalator carrying a woman’s purse.

I locked my eyes on that man with the intent of tackling him even though he might’ve pulled out a knife and stabbed me and I was middle-age and he was healthy and bigger than me.

The young man got a look of fear on his face Young man made a very athletic move just before I could’ve tackled him. He jumped over the railing and separated the up escalator from the down escalator. He got passed me.

But I was going to try to get that purse back for a woman that I never saw. I had no time to think. Trying to get that purse back, for the woman was my instinct, and I was making an attempt..

If something more serious happened, like a woman being raped, I know from my behavior with the purse snatcher, that I would intervene at risk my own life.

Feminists may not like the idea that random man just by being present are protecting them from bad men while expecting nothing in return.

Until I attempted to tackle the purse snatcher I did not know that I was willing to risk my life to come to the defense of random women. Anything that I might’ve thought about how I would behave when a woman needed to be defended would’ve been just intellectual idea that I had about who I was. I watched myself react in a situation that was happening too fast for me to make a mental decision about what I should do.

Had I been successful at tackling that guy I would have needed somebody to back me up. I could tell that I was the only person on the escalators that understood what was happening. I did not think about asking others to help me. My mind was just on positioning myself for the tackle and I could see that the thief recognized what I was trying to do.

I had never played school football It was like I was playing football but the ball carrier was in n athletic class way above me and made me look inept but I did try to tackle him..

kitterkatty · 2023-09-18T04:39:08+00:00

A child or defenseless person or an abused animal being ganged up on when they just want peace and quiet yes. Anyone should help them, everyone should step up.

If it’s a fight between equals that’s a little different. I do some MMA training and I’d get offended if anyone felt like they had to rescue me in a fair mutual scrap.

RhinoDust · 2023-09-18T07:23:51+00:00

In real life the hero dies. We don’t need heroes. If I see a couple arguing, it doesn’t give me the right to intervene just because of an idea that I know better. What if they reconcile minutes afterwards and you end up as the bad guy?

WistfulPuellaMagi · 2023-09-18T07:55:36+00:00

Everyone should help others if they can and if they feel safe doing so.

San1infinite · 2023-09-18T08:26:33+00:00

If a man has physical capability to do so, then he should intervene when anyone is in trouble, not just women. It needs to be a considered approach though, for example does the man have his family / kids with him, and would his actions place them at risk.

Yuruyakatou · 2023-09-18T09:01:49+00:00

Nope. People always love to say how they would step in to help, then they get knocked over and crack their head on the pavement and die. If you step into that situation you are putting your life on the line. I don't see why I should have to do that for a woman I've never met, who would not even notice I exist if I met her under any other circumstances.

garacus · 2023-09-18T09:04:02+00:00

I think it highly depends on context, it's admirable to be a good Samaritan, but plenty of situations look entirely more complicated than they are, or in general. Secondly, there's also a point when you're just heing foolhardy.

I think thr bigger issue is, if a dude is in trouble physically from a woman (yes, that's possible) or even other men, I dont think either women or men would step in, and in the former case guys are even so much as labelled as pathetic... Let's at least elevate both issues in this debate to the same level, if we truly care about equality.

This nonsense that the entire left is soft on crime though, is ridiculous and generalised bias though. Are you saying the entire left is ok with women getting punched? Sure... No, what is usually confused as 'soft' on crime, is simply the debate on whether criminals should go through more reforming or punitive detention, not whether criminals should be arrested or not...

flosterjenkins · 2023-09-18T09:19:29+00:00

OP, you guys are already not expected to intervene. how many times have you been blamed or shamed for not stepping in as a male stranger? Have you been pressured to risk your life for a random person?

this is a ridiculous strawman. I bet men doing this for women is about as rare as women doing this for men. I got slapped and shoved by a guy, and another time, got followed by a homeless guy threatening to kill me, both in public with men watching nearby, and it's not like they did anything and neither did I expect them to.

If women thought the average male stranger was a beacon of help or protection and not a source of caution, we would be behaving and acting very differently around men. no more groups of women protecting each other and using keywords to indicate "help me" when going clubbing or drinking or hanging out with male strangers.

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-09-18T11:43:24+00:00

I personally believe men should not be expected nor are they obligated to help women in trouble. Either call the authorities or find yourself a man that’s willing to protect you. Women fought to not be under the authority of a man so you have to accept what comes with that. It’s unfair to a man that steps in to help a random woman and risks getting beaten or killed. What if that man has a family that he’s protecting & providing for? Now he can’t help his own family.

mandoa_sky · 2023-09-18T12:41:22+00:00

well hey if you want to be part of the "bystander effect" that's your own choice.

sharksville · 2023-09-18T14:03:09+00:00

At some point you come to realise that the answer is basically a no. At this point, you’ll more than likely end up getting yourself into unnecessary trouble which you can avoid. Besides it isn’t your matter to be concerned about. Women these days like to preach “I have a boyfriend” so might as well let their boyfriend intervene, why do you want to be the hero?

I’ve seen a few guys and me included back in my young days where we would just because of the goodness of our heart, we would. Just because I’m trying to be a nice guy I would’ve intervened without expecting much in return. But most of the time what we got in return was an attitude or unnecessary trouble afterwards. Now it’s just like whatever. A woman’s in trouble, so be it. I just keeping going on about my day since it doesn’t concern me. Besides why should I help a woman when she’s just going to be upset about me helping her instead of her thanking me for helping her.

Beneficial-Rock-1687 · 2023-09-18T14:11:47+00:00

After having tried to intervene on a situation, only to have both parties turn against me, my stance is now a hard “no”.

I thought I was helping an abused woman get help. In an emergency situation where the woman said the boyfriend was “on something” and trying to kill her. So I helped.

Dude ends up in jail. Breaks restraining order and gets back in touch with the girlfriend. They get back together. Now he’s out of jail and threatening to kill me.

I will never, ever, ever intervene in another situation like this again. I lost my job over this. Went into therapy over this. The sad fact is that an abused woman is more likely to go back to their abuser than leave after an incident. That’s horrible, but also not my problem.

I had no problem helping this woman, it felt like the right thing to do. But if she’s going to go back to the abuser and turn against me…fuck that. Never again.

Supreme_Salt_Lord · 2023-09-18T15:39:07+00:00

“Everyone is equal” is a philosophy on people wants and passions. IT HAS NOTHING to do with physical abilities. If you saw a grown man physically bully a person in a wheelchair who clearly cant move. Would you take the same stance?! You come to the aid of ppl who dont have the means to adequately protect themselves man or woman. Thats the point.

If you can come to the aid of someone who can potentially be murdered for no reason you should. Say something or do something. Film to give to police. Yell to try and distract so the victim can get away or defend themselves. If you are brave enough then physically intervene. I dont expect someone to be batman and beat up thugs assaulting someone.

What would you want to happen if your loved one was being assaulted and a group of people were there and available to help?

Internal-Fig-7902 · 2023-09-17T16:48:02+00:00

No. Pick your man better.

crushmynutsplz · 2023-09-17T17:03:00+00:00

Be good to each other. Don't let your butthurt about dating dynamics take away from being a decent person.

When someone needs help, and you have the capacity to help, you should help.

thatguywhosadick · 2023-09-17T21:26:23+00:00

I think it depends on the situation and if I know the people/women involved personally.

If I’m out with one of my female friends and a guy is being weird to them I’ll step in, but that’s a woman I know personally who knows how to tell me she needs help. If she’s flirting back and they’re both having fun it’s not my business.

For a short period in my mid 20s I used to work as a bouncer, my job was quite literally to intervene if a fight was brewing or like if some guy was trying to corner a woman or otherwise put his hands on them without consent. Plus code words like ordering ak angel shot ect. As an employee of the establishment I would also be viewed very differently by the cops when making a statement, than say another random patron who had been drinking.

Seeing a dispute happen in public may be something different though. The unfortunate reality is that many victims of domestic violence will defend their abusers doing things like not pressuring charges or even cutting off friends who express concern. If you intervene in an altercation it’s very likely that they will side with the abuser and claim you instigated the incident. If there’s no cameras or other witnesses it could put you in legal trouble. Especially if the abuser is injured.

It sucks and I really wish it wasn’t like that but the real world is very different than the scenarios we like to think ourselves the hero in, or the situations discussed in arguments online. Life isn’t a marvel movie, and a street/bar fight can easily result in life long injuries or death. Real fights are ugly dirty affairs and both sides lose more often than not, by all means call the cops, film it to collect evidence of the crime ect, but think critically before you put your own life or liberty at risk.

Fit_Kiwi9703 · 2023-09-17T22:53:18+00:00

If you're in a life-or-death situation, wouldn't you want the people near you (Male or Female) to help you?

This isn't a gender or political issue. Bad things happen all the time, not just crime. You could be in an accident or a natural disaster, and you better hope a stranger is there to help you!

Fit_Kiwi9703 · 2023-09-17T22:53:55+00:00

If you're in a life-or-death situation, wouldn't you want the people near you (Male or Female) to help you?

This isn't a gender or political issue. Bad things happen all the time, not just crime. You could be in an accident or a natural disaster, and you better hope a stranger will there to rescue you!

Fit_Kiwi9703 · 2023-09-17T22:54:47+00:00

If you're in a life-or-death situation, wouldn't you want the people near you (Male or Female) to help you?

This is much broader than a gender or political issue. Bad things happen all the time, not just crime. You could be in an accident or a natural disaster, and you better hope that a stranger is there to rescue you!

Fit_Kiwi9703 · 2023-09-17T22:55:12+00:00

If you're in a life-or-death situation, wouldn't you want the people near you (Male or Female) to help you?

This is much broader than a gender or political issue. Bad things happen all the time, not just crime. You could be in an accident or a natural disaster, and you better hope that a stranger will be there to rescue you!

Yuruyakatou · 2023-09-18T08:48:08+00:00

Why should I put my life on the line to protect a woman who's in trouble when women have ignored me my entire life. Women only notice I exist when they need me to help them?

cdclopper · 2023-09-18T15:51:31+00:00

Masculinity is so dead.

bigapple4am · 2023-09-18T16:34:25+00:00

People should help each others regardless of gender

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-09-18T23:16:29+00:00

Regardless of gender, if you can help someone without unreasonable danger to yourself, the right thing is to do so. This doesn’t mean a man is obligated to risk his life just because the person who needs help is a woman. There is no excuse for anyone just standing by or recording and not calling emergency services though. That behavior is just gross whether it’s a man or a woman.

El-Carretero · 2023-09-19T08:22:54+00:00

Why don't the women step in? I'm sure 3 or 4 women could just jump a guy. Put all that gym to use ladies 💪👊💥

RonMexico432 · 2023-09-19T14:37:29+00:00

When something bad is happening, everyone should open their mouths. I was in a bar once where a guy violently grabbed his gf's upper arm to drag her outside, and every chair in the place slid back as all the men stood up. He quickly let go and quietly sat down. Other customers should speak up when a Karen is holding up the line or being a dick to a waiter. Workers can't speak up. We can. Karen's quickly shut up when non-employees speak up.

Latter-Station8142 · 2023-09-24T03:24:36+00:00

Fuck no

Gambla92 · 2023-09-29T09:04:46+00:00

No, why would you? Maybe if this was 20 years when women had morality and worth.

Title	Should men be expected to intervene when random women are in trouble?
Author	Manletangelo
Upvotes	52
Comments	379
Date	September 17, 2023 4:45 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16l5kzc/should_men_be_expected_to_intervene_when_random/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/should-men-be-expected-to-intervene-when-random.1232129 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232129

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