Being "hookup material" is better than being "boyfriend material"

Slipthe · 2022-02-22T01:34:44+00:00

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Striking-Shopping796 · 2022-02-22T01:50:31+00:00

You're not going to get me to believe for 1 second that a woman who would hook up with you would not also be your girlfriend. There's a certain kind of guy who can get woman to hook up with them like that and it's a very good looking, very confident, very well liked guy. So yes, generally a better guy, probably a better boyfriend too if I'm being honest. Only issue women will have with this kind of guy is that he has options and is thus gonna be harder to pin down unless you've made a great impression.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-02-22T01:04:45+00:00

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ohheyhi99 · 2022-02-22T03:43:41+00:00

The issue with this OP is that it puts too much emphasis on hookups as the main area where “hookup material” guys benefit. Being hookup material is confirmed by the offer of hooking up, even if you don’t engage in the act.

Being hookup material to many women means that you have some key traits of the most valuable men in the relationship market too. These traits are very difficult if not impossible to cultivate if you don’t have them already.

bomloc · 2022-02-22T15:21:50+00:00

Being hookup material means you have more opportunities to get a relationship after the sexual encounter. That is how most relationships form. You cannot persuade or negotiate with her to find you attractive. She either does or doesn't from the moment she meets you. Relationships form around sex. You can't form sex from a relationship. That's just being friends.

Demasii · 2022-02-22T02:08:37+00:00

"You're boyfriend material" is a lie.

It's just like "You're a nice guy".

It's something to tell a boring man with nothing going for himself to "cheer" him up for not being a serial murder.

True boyfriend material is a man you wanna fuck and have a relationship with. Most fuck boys are boyfriend material or at least men who you try to change into boyfriend material.

Superannuatedpunk · 2022-02-22T07:55:07+00:00

This whole post is predicated on the AF/BB idea being an immutable fact of life. Of course, it doesn't actually stand up to much scrutiny when you get out from behind a keyboard.

What's with the idea that being a boyfriend is some kind of booby prize? That women only ever boyfriend up some dude that they feel contempt for.

People bang other people they're attracted to but aren't actually into all the damn time. There's not some Machiavellian plot behind it - they're usually just horny.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-02-22T01:51:51+00:00

A better distinction is husband material not boyfriend material. Hookups turn into boyfriends unintentionally and can overlap all the time. There is usually strong chemistry. Boyfriends can consist of many hot sex traits. They can be low status risky dropout potheads or good guys in grad school.

A man with husband traits has traits distinct from the boyfriend. The family man. Boyfriends turn into husbands when their boyfriend traits change.

Thucydides00 · 2022-02-22T03:33:21+00:00

The thing about it is really that if you're "boyfriend material" then you'll pretty much only have sex with someone if you're in a relationship with them, meaning you can't date around and have casual relationships because while you aren't too ugly to be in a relationship with, you're definitely too ugly to hook up with

Karmanger · 2022-02-22T14:31:26+00:00

This discussion would accomplish more if it was directed towards lesbians, They face similar issues that straight men face when dating women.

The straight women here who are answering never dated women and only get anecdotal stories from their friends where they (surprise surprise) are the victim of some evil man. You will be hard pressed to get an objective story from a straight women (they don't date women so they have no idea what it's like to date themselves).

In general you are only called boyfriend material by a women who has no intention of dating you. So the women calling you that aren't ever going to date you or sleep with you, so just ignore them. Depending on if you are feeling petty you can respond with, "you'll make a great God mother some day"

2022-02-22T01:46:51+00:00

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Flightlessbirbz · 2022-02-22T03:26:00+00:00

A lot of this is a projection of the Madonna/whore complex tbh. The idea that women will frequently commit to guys they wouldn’t hook up with or will hook up with guys they wouldn’t commit to is not really accurate, at least in my experience and among women I know. When considering the men I’ve dated, their level of physical attractiveness and general desirability isn’t what determined how soon I slept with them. It was much more based on circumstances and my overall mental state. The same guy can be “hookup material” to one woman and “boyfriend material” to another, more based on whether she wants a hookup or a boyfriend than anything else. I’m not saying there aren’t some guys out there who women will hook up with due to their looks but won’t date due to awful personalities, it’s just not common to have such a clear division. I certainly wouldn’t doom myself to a lifetime of fucking a guy I wasn’t attracted to enough to have sex with one time, to put it a bit crudely.

Also important to remember that what very young men want often differs from what men mid 20s and older want. Most guys I know want a family, which isn’t possible if you’re not ever considered “boyfriend material.” But as I said before, men are rarely ever stuck in one of these categories or another, like they try to do with women. (Women aren’t in reality, either.)

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-02-22T01:51:48+00:00

Being ONLY one or the other is bad.

You should be both to different people.

Only hookup material = no loving relationship

Only bf material = you're unattractive

thoughtfulsoul10000 · 2022-02-22T03:07:33+00:00

I rather be boyfriend material. A few girls lately have told me that they would fuck me, but they aren't sure about dating me, and some have casually mentioned never wanting to have kids. I want a girl to settle down with someone who wants the same things as me, I might be about to have my own house soon, and I'll be able to make enough to live on my own. But it will be pretty damn lonely, I want a family someday, but sometimes I wonder if anyone would ever be willing to have my kids and start one with me.

2022-02-22T01:15:03+00:00

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mwcmu452 · 2022-02-22T02:47:33+00:00

Where does the scenario where a man gets used for sex fall under? As a man, I’ve been used for sex.

Puzzleheaded_Rush643 · 2022-02-22T18:39:56+00:00

Honestly if a women says you are a boyfriend material, i would take it as degrading because she doesnt see you as a potential sexual partner

PeppinoGreen · 2022-02-23T00:11:05+00:00

For women, being used for sex is insulting.

For a man, being used for commitment is insulting.

19whale96 · 2022-02-22T02:18:21+00:00

Idk bro. I don't have șex often, I have a high sex drive, but i have hardcore trust and abandonment issues. Eventually being a husband and father is actually like a major thing to me. There's no security in being a bachelor, I want to find someone who I want to be around most of my life, and have a kid that I can spend the rest of my life teaching how to be better than me. Hookups have never really been enticing to me, not that I've ever been surrounded by offers.

2022-02-22T01:45:41+00:00

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BoreDominated · 2022-02-22T01:29:22+00:00

The question is, do you want the sex to be pleasurable and fulfilling? If so, most of the time you're not gonna be having explosive, intense sex with girls you've only just met. You don't know each other's bodies, it'll most likely be awkward even if you're sexually experienced, they're not gonna feel that comfortable with you which means they're not gonna be getting particularly kinky with a perfect stranger, etc. The vast majority of the time it'll be fast, awkward, empty, and forgettable.

The best sex you'll ever have will be in a committed relationship with someone you're comfortable around, who's comfortable around you and willing to be more open and experimental, whose body you know well and who knows your body well, and who will also value you for more than just physical gratification.

It can be fun to be used sometimes, but it doesn't compare to someone who loves you and actually wants to be around you long after you've had an orgasm, that's far more complimentary than someone who thinks you happen to have a symmetrical face or nice arms or some shit.

Seventhson65 · 2022-02-22T03:01:54+00:00

I never had a problem getting laid, or getting a girlfriend. I can’t relate to this overthought question.

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NICHIJOU2411 · 2022-02-22T16:18:58+00:00

As a guy who doesn’t even want to do hookups, it is really surprising how much women here are missing the entire point.

pm_me_hairy_nudes · 2022-02-22T07:26:27+00:00

LOL looks like some RP guys haven't had the experience of being politely herded out of the house after a hookup and then ghosted afterwards

Additionalparties · 2022-02-22T10:58:58+00:00

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Vtridolla · 2022-02-22T01:12:16+00:00

Depends on what you are looking for.

lonely_mixtape · 2022-02-22T01:17:47+00:00

I don't hookup with anyone. If a guy engages in hookups, I consider him to not be boyfriend material. Why do men have issues with women who have casual sex and then get upset when they don't want to hook up with them?

Freak-O-Natcha · 2022-02-22T03:12:56+00:00

Most women I know won't have sex until they're fairly certain they want to be with the person they're dating. Sex for women is a net loss for women unless its with someone we care about and who cares about us. I don't see how this is insulting unless the woman is sleeping around with others while dating a man.

If a woman is clearly going to wait for sex until she's comfortable, and is not seeing other guys or screwing around, I don't see how its a bad thing to be called husband or boyfriend material by her.

Men here constantly complain about high N women, which are the type that would bang you on the first date, but when a woman wants to wait a few months for sex men lose their collective minds. You can't have it both ways. The double standard is insane.

2022-02-22T01:18:10+00:00

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WYenginerdWY · 2022-02-22T05:19:54+00:00

Really. The thousandth time someone posts whining about being boyfriend material? The fuckton of posts that result from a search of this sub didn't give you enough to work with?

Fine.

Hookup material = he's good looking but he fucking sucks as a human being and his looks are the only attractive quality about him

Boyfriend material = he's decent looking and has the qualities I would prefer to have in a long term partner because he does not, in fact, suck as a human being

Hookup material is only better than boyfriend material if you're a shallow asshole whose life ambition is to be a tiktokker in a content house.

Considering the law of averages, you're more likely to look like Louis CK than George Clooney as you age and that dick of yours may have a limited lifespan of functioning Viagra free. Are you a decent enough person that a woman would still want to be around you when that day comes?

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-02-22T04:52:10+00:00

Nope being hook up means she will lower her standards because she is horny

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-02-22T01:04:44+00:00

There's nothing wrong with not wanting a relationship. But it seems ridiculous to think you're valued because you're used for sex.

2022-02-22T01:44:17+00:00

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techr0nin · 2022-02-22T04:00:05+00:00

It’s not that I disagree per se, but generally speaking the difference between “hookup material” and “boyfriend material” is just how attractive you are, and you are either hot or you are not. So your statement might as well be “it’s better to be attractive than not attractive”, which while technically true seems very obvious.

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Yardael · 2022-02-22T05:15:57+00:00

Being boyfriend material doesn't mean girl wouldn't fuck you on first date. But if she wants you as bf then she waits with sex to appear more valuable and tests you how serious you are. This also increases price of sex in your relationship benefiting her in the future when it becomes reward/punishment mechanism. If you're not allowed to jerk off because it's cheating then be sure she will control you through sex at some point. Set boundaries in the begining. Sex is for connection and appreciation not control. Be ready to leave when sex decreases to nothing without reason or when she fucks only to satisfy you. She is not attracted to you and keeps you because you're useful.

Miss_erable-97 · 2022-02-22T07:17:54+00:00

I hooked up with a guy and now were engaged because neither of us were interested in finding other partners and we really liked each other,the two really don't have to be mutually exclusive

Saxonlover89 · 2022-02-22T07:39:41+00:00

I've hooked up and yet get voted less than a 5 on photofeeler, so is it a complement?

dasa_man · 2022-02-22T07:48:42+00:00

I agree with this. Although I have seen a situation where the guy was fuckzoned. The girl had a crush on someone else and would only use the guy for sex. He badly wanted a relationship but she refused.

KikiYuyu · 2022-02-22T09:26:38+00:00

Being boyfriend material doesn't sound good at all, being boyfriend material usually means you're not attractive enough to have sex

Oh wow, could it be?? A man on PPD projecting male sexuality onto women? I can't believe it!

You have no idea what you're talking about. That's not how attraction works generally for women. Women have more reasons than mere non-attraction for postponing sex.

DuncanIdaho88 · 2022-02-22T11:40:24+00:00

Not all women re interested in hooking up. It is in fact a lot less common than in the past. Casual sex these days is often through FWBs.

I'm hookup material; getting laid is much easier than getting a relationship. I also want someone to share my life with, but that's proving to be difficult because of my Asperger's syndrome.

WorldWideButtCheeks · 2022-02-22T11:46:46+00:00

I couldnt disagree more... Sometimes (me in my single days) we do have a pity hook up with a meh guy while really thinking about how we want to sleep with the guy we really desire to have long term. Sure i felt like crap after, but in the moment it felt good... I just simply couldnt stop thinking about the guy i wash crushing on. I also didnt do certain sexual things for the meh hookup guy, but would gladly for the one i desired.

When it came to my now husband though? After our first date (dinner/talking/drinks)... He drove me to my apartment and i invited him up for a drink (my scheme) and had sex with him. Blowjob and all lol 😜... And the next morning...

ThisTimeForRealYo · 2022-02-22T14:06:35+00:00

If sex is the only thing you value, then yes.

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HalfysReddit · 2022-02-22T17:19:16+00:00

There's no reason you can't be hookup material and relationship material.

So in a way, being told you're relationship material is like being told you're not hookup material. Which just plain feels bad.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-02-22T18:35:34+00:00

I view hook-up guys as I am horny and there is something I fundamentally dislike about you, but you'll do. I wouldn't particularly care if they're pleased with the sex and wouldn't do certain things that require a level of trust like anal. Definitely no oral for them. Definitely a condom. I'm in it solely for the kink and that means I want to play with your butthole.

Boyfriend material means I genuinely like you and will put in more effort. I'll care about what you want and will be more enthusiastic. Because you know I like them.

Admittedly I am not super into hookups because the sex is trash anyways. Please stop jackhammering btw.

_symbolik · 2022-02-22T18:58:30+00:00

Consider this, every girl I hooked with (except 1) at some point wanted something more so from my personal experience yes it's definitely better

Radiant_Specific6542 · 2022-02-22T19:24:58+00:00

From my dating experience, I definitely would rather be the hookup guy vs the relationship material guy, if I have to choose.

I'm 6'4, in shape, attractive, and I have decent social skills. So bare minimum, I am the hookup guy and women typically want more when they find out I have money.

Personally, I was never looking for a relationship, so being the hookup guy, being the guy women cheat with, I was in heaven (I'm currently in a relationship).

That being said, nobody is everyone's "type" which I'm not immune to that. I remember dating this woman who's a gym rat like myself. We went to the same gym, so each other frequently. She saw the cars I drove, we would have chats here and there, so the result of that; prior to date #1 she knew I had money.

I was digging this woman and we had a lot in common, so I actually entertained the idea of a relationship, if and only if time spent with her would go by smoothly.

I learned she had a specific type, which are natural redhead men. That's what drove her physically crazy. Well I'm a black man, so I didn't fit her archetype lol.

She proceeded to tell me, although I'm not her type, and she doesn't have that insatiable lust towards me, she liked I kept myself in shape and she liked that I could be a good provider. It was in that very moment that I mentally took her out of the "Possibly relationship material box" and put her in the "sex only" box. That was a redflag that I wasn't willing to ignore.

In short, I 100% agree with you. You literally get the best parts/the better version of a woman when you're the hookup guy, someone she has genuine desire for.

WretchdFlesh_Redeemd · 2022-02-22T22:29:29+00:00

Alpha fucks/Beta bucks

Women settle down with the safe average guy who worships her and can provide a stable home for her while they sleep around with the men the actually love and respect behind their backs.

Welcome to modernity.

brilliant22 · 2022-02-22T01:18:47+00:00

I don't think there's a bigger complement to a man than being hookup material, if you are it means you're likely pretty hot and good enough to hook up with nearly anyone, isn't that the dream? No strings attached sex with multiple people?

For the guy who only wants "no strings attached sex with multiple people" yes. For the one who wants a romantic relationship, no?

The whole basis of your claim makes assumptions about what the guy wants to begin with. If he only wants hookups then of course he wants to be viewed this way. If he wants a relationship, then a hookup isn't fulfilling what he wants.

eternal_bliss_here · 2022-02-22T03:18:29+00:00

A hook up will be forever seen as hook up material

gopher_glitz · 2022-02-22T11:00:05+00:00

Likewise many women have body issues but I've never met one with a issue with their own personality.

Also, being threesome material is better than being husband material.

baresquad · 2022-02-22T01:16:11+00:00

Red pill need validation so bad

Life isn’t nearly black and white enough to where you either fit into one category or the other. Tons of dudes who are boyfriends have fucked and tons of dudes who fuck have been boyfriends

If she’s attracted enough to you to make you her boyfriend she’s attracted to you enough to have hooked up with you. That doesn’t mean it happened but given the right circumstance she would have. That’s life

And that’s really all what should matter, the women that are attracted to you, are attracted to you. But instead, since RP seemingly needs so much validation you want to be “good enough to hookup with nearly anyone” when truth is nobody is “good enough” to fuck almost every single person, not even people who do fuck a lot of people. There’s a lot of people that wouldn’t fuck them

spinsterchachkies · 2022-02-22T02:00:47+00:00

Being hook up material means all you have is your looks. Being boyfriend material means you have everything. So boyfriend material is better not worse. Just like men think of relationship material vs fuck buddy material. It’s not rocket science guys.

shidfardcummer · 2022-02-22T06:56:19+00:00

None of this sounds right. Women fuck less desirable dudes on the first date just because the woman is lonely. Conversely, if you're not good looking, that's less of a reason for a woman to want you as a boyfriend. There are only circumstances, not absolutes like you're talking about.

Also, you didn't really explain your points, you just stated them.

RabbitNRaccoon · 2022-02-22T01:39:13+00:00

No, it's not.

Being viewed as "hook up material" by the lowest common denominator type of woman and then feeling good about their assessment of you makes you look like a loser.

You should only care for the opinions and judgements of men and women that are respectable and that you respect.

Not a bunch of silly women who spend their days unproductive sifting through male attention, and watching reality TV shows and other pop culture media.

It amazes me the number of men that care what stupid women think of them.

I could never muster up the fucks to give what a loser man thinks of me..and I sure as hell would never consider it a compliment to be found attractive or fuckable by a dude that could barely write, read, or hold down a job and a place to live.

Ppdstillmental · 2022-02-22T01:29:16+00:00

If you only want no strings attached sex with multiple people then of course. How is it even a question? But there is such a thing as wanting relationships and family later in life. If you change your goals, you might find it hard to tack your sail.

DisturbedBurger · 2022-02-22T02:04:04+00:00

Depends. Hookup material is usually physically attractive and bearable. Boyfriend material is at the least a 6 if hookup material was 8, but the boyfriend material attracts multiple dimensions that isn't just her pussy (but is still likely a 7 or 8). The boyfriend is preferable.

2022-02-22T02:17:14+00:00

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mountainofjoy · 2022-02-22T04:46:09+00:00

Y'all realize you can be both, right?? My husband was both amazing husband/boyfriend material AND hot enough to be hookup material. It doesn't just have to be one or the other....some men have good personalities and qualities for a relationship AND are hot enough for sex! who knew right? /s

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CFinCanada · 2022-02-22T12:16:12+00:00

My boyfriend disagrees he really struggled to get LTRs when he was ready to settle down in his late 20s and that's all he really wanted.

And he is boyfriend material hardcore to me and I can say that it means the woman thinks highly of your character, potential and even looks, if a woman thinks you're not good enough for long-term it's because she thinks you're dumb or won't age well or filthy (as in you live in filth), or a manchild or thinks you're cute enough for when she's horny as hell and it's been awhile but doesn't think you're good-looking enough that she could endure long-term monogamy with you and she could trust herself not to cheat.

It is not a compliment.

ZealousidealAd7191 · 2022-02-22T12:18:19+00:00

Yeah I don’t think women are built like men are. If a woman will have sex with you she will most likely also want to be with you. Sex triggers a love response in women

YT_B00TYCL4PZ · 2022-02-22T01:09:47+00:00

Women withhold sex on first dates to ward off fuck boys. It isn’t because you aren’t attractive enough. Being boyfriend material is a huge compliment because you are the one she picks out of all of her options.

sebwiers · 2022-02-22T01:31:56+00:00

No strings attached sex with multiple people? If someone is willing to go home and sleep with you on either the first date or just for a one night stand

Eh, that assumes first date sex is good sex. IMO it is not. Good sex takes communications and work. I can't just haul out the whips and chains without taking some measurements first, figuring out how easily they bruise, what sort of whips they like, etc.

That's a couple dates before I even am sure I want to do it.

It's simple, being the guy she has sex with on the first date is absolutely a better deal than being the guy she makes wait.

Honestly, my impression is I've made them wait.

DaphneDK42 · 2022-02-22T02:23:12+00:00

Any girl who can describe a man as "hookup material" is a slut that has participated in hookup culture, and not relationship material.

quiturbitchn · 2022-02-22T01:46:17+00:00

Being hook up material only relies on your looks which will fade. BF material means you have the whole package

Express-Sport-5849 · 2022-02-22T03:17:53+00:00

Sex with as many people as you want is not the dream of any respectable man

dysonRing · 2022-02-22T01:13:35+00:00

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kdkdkd64664 · 2022-02-22T05:22:45+00:00

There are DEFINITELY men out there that are only hookup material and not relationship material. The only times I’ve ever had casual sex as a woman has been with a man I specifically did NOT want a relationship with for reasons that were huge deal breakers. I did this intentionally so I could just get a release and send them on him way when we were finished without any entanglement. I definitely prefer relationship sex as it’s much better but when you’re in a long spell, you do what you can 🤷🏻‍♀️

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AnonymousAndy2018 · 2022-02-22T03:27:53+00:00

Absolutely, if they're not putting out on the first date - guess what - you're not hot to them. Time to face the brutal truth and improve your physique.

Kay_Lore · 2022-02-22T04:21:04+00:00

My boyfriend and I had sex right away and we were casual for several months. He’s also an amazing boyfriend. The fact that you think you can only have one or the other just means you’re not high-value enough to be both.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-02-22T05:30:58+00:00

It depends on what you're looking for, ideally you want to be both, if a woman has engaged in hookups and casual sex with guys but then the guy whose "boyfriend/husband material" is the guy she takes her time with, yeah that guy is getting a shit deal, but if she fucks the guy who she considers husband / boyfriend material with the same lust and enthusiasm as the hook up guy, then that's the better deal if you're getting the best of both worlds

Dazzling-Chick · 2022-02-22T09:27:42+00:00

You do realise that women don’t always have sex with someone they are attracted too right?

I’m pretty sure majority of women prefer a guy that’s boyfriend material because we would prefer to have sex with someone who could be our potential bf

Hookup material doesn’t always mean looks. It might be that their personality isn’t good enough for a woman to date him but she may like him enough to have sex.

Lots of women have one night stands simply because they are horny. It doesn’t mean the guy is doing something right or is a high value man.

Just so you know, if a woman makes a guy wait for sex it’s actually a very good thing.

Before reading this post I never knew some men thought like this. You guys don’t know women very well. Boyfriend material will always be better than hookup material.

Why would you be happy that a woman only wants you for sex? You don’t want love?

nemma88 · 2022-02-22T09:29:38+00:00

I don't think there's a bigger complement to a man than being hookup material, if you are it means you're likely pretty hot and good enough to hook up with nearly anyone, isn't that the dream?

Not for all men no. PPD has a overrepresentation of men who dream such.

Moreover, men who have casual sex tend to get bored of it, and those in spaces like TRP those who 'made it' can then struggle with transitioning.

TRP call relationships hardmode. It's harder getting and keeping a woman from a POV.

Its 2022. Most women don't need to date & have a relationship with a guy they don't want.

It's simple, being the guy she has sex with on the first date is absolutely a better deal than being the guy she makes wait.

I don't think this is really all that common, but either way unless the guy wants a relationship then that sucks. The only guy I tried to have NSA sex with wanted my commitment and I just wanted sex. I'm pretty sure being rejected didn't feel good 'cause guys on the internet insist something else.

MisanthropeImmortel · 2022-02-22T11:50:26+00:00

Apparently, you’re right. But I prefer being boyfriend material because it means she trusts me enough to choose me on the long run. I prefer the long run.

You imply that hot chads can keep their girlfriends if they choose to. I know for a fact that’s not true. I know a man who can pick up whichever girl he wants when he enters a pub. Whoever he wants follows him to fuck in less than half an hour, maybe even less than a quarter of an hour. He has a strong but difficult to handle character. Usually, he doesn’t care, as he’s very much into casual sex. But when he tried to keep a girlfriend… a few months and she’s gone. He’s unbearable in the long run.

Ranziel · 2022-02-22T12:03:41+00:00

Boyfriend =/= husband

Hookup material means good looking. Boyfriend material means good looking, decent enough dude that she likes to spend time with. At least that's what I think most women think when they say "boyfriend material". Now, "husband material" is different imo.

Willow-girl · 2022-02-22T12:16:15+00:00

This is like saying it's better being a cheap rental car than a lovingly garage-kept Tesla.

DraconianDebate · 2022-02-22T12:55:11+00:00

The idea that "the dream" for most people now is to have cheap, unfulfilling sex with someone you won't even remember the name of in a month really makes me sad and worry for the fate of our civilization. Unfortunately I only see this getting worse as most women and men today are not worthy of long term commitment.

duskst0ne · 2022-02-22T12:58:03+00:00

I mean, some men actually want relationships, and some men catch feelings. You're going on the assumption that every man's goal is casual sex without a relationship, and that the only reason why men enter relationships is because they can't get sex otherwise.

IME it's a small number of men who want to be lifelong bachelors and think this way long-term. A lot of guys get bored of casual sex after a while and want to find someone that they can have a real connection with. You're only 20, so there's a decent chance you will change your mind on this as you get older.

It also sounds like validation that you're "hookup material" is a major motivation for you, not even the sex itself? In which case... maybe get therapy or work on your self-esteem or something, that doesn't really seem like a healthy way to view relationships or sex.

Poly_frolicher · 2022-02-22T14:20:51+00:00

Hookup guy is not better if he wants to have consistently good sex. Sure, to some people any sex is good sex, but if you are even a little bit discerning, great sex with one person over time beats random sex.

I have also found that hookup guy is counting too heavily on his looks to develop any other attractive characteristics and he bores me, or worse, disgusts me, before we get to the bedroom. And if we get to the bedroom, he’s generally not very good there.

I suppose there would be a benefit for the guy for a time, depending on his personal depth or lack thereof, but I can’t imagine hookup guy having a satisfying life or ever becoming a person of integrity.

No_Environment_5550 · 2022-02-22T15:07:04+00:00

For some women, no man is “hookup material”. I’ve always needed an emotional connection to become attracted to someone. I could be looking at a very physically fit, conventionally attractive guy, and he’s just….a blank slate to me. I feel nothing, I want nothing. I could maybe think, oh he’s attractive, but not FEEL attracted. When I get to know that guy, his actions and words contribute to his attractiveness. If he’s a dick, he legit becomes ugly in my eyes.

A less conventionally attractive guy with a great attitude and passion for his hobbies/intellectual pursuits/life goals becomes way more attractive. Then I’m flirting, dropping hints, and the intricate dance of getting to know one another causes all sorts of lovely sexual tension. My fiancé has become THE most attractive man in the world to me. To me, he is hookup material, boyfriend material, husband material, soulmate material. And all the experiences we share, all the hurdles we overcome together, all of the funny and beautiful moments only build on my feeling that he is beautiful. After six years together, I’m still surprised by the strength of my attraction to him.

woke----- · 2022-02-23T02:19:49+00:00

Lol bro casual sex with a stranger is never that great

2022-02-22T03:32:50+00:00

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Fair_Question_6969 · 2022-02-22T01:29:16+00:00

It's saying in a reverse gender role sense, why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. A man without responsibility has little value ... Difference is likend to a sperm donar vs engaged partner. The 2 are not the same.

ShoCkEpic · 2022-02-22T03:21:42+00:00

hmm… i don’t necessarily agree with that… sometimes there are girls who you d love to have more than just sex because they are witty and the have something emanating from them, you also want someone close to care for you, it s not really a good feeling when a girl you like kinds of say that she will never introduce you to her father or mother or that she is ashamed to be with you around the important people in her life or she expresses she s just interested in you for fun. it makes you feel like you are nothing

effeteintellectual · 2022-02-22T03:27:57+00:00

I don’t think this is necessarily true. Being in a relationship means regular sex. No guy can find a different girl to hook up with 5 times a week whereas in an LTR, 5 times a week is easy.

Title	Being "hookup material" is better than being "boyfriend material"
Author	DrinkItInMan11
Upvotes	310
Comments	480
Date	February 22, 2022 1:02 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sya0dv/being_hookup_material_is_better_than_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/being-hookup-material-is-better-than-being.1103601 https://theredarchive.com/post/1103601

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