Why Won’t You Pay For Sex?

M3taBuster · 2022-09-29T03:13:10+00:00

Disclaimer: I may not be exactly who this is aimed at, because I haven't given up per se.

But the reason I won't is because sex isn't what I actually want. It's being sexually desired that I want. And romantically desired, too.

jayval90 · 2022-09-29T04:05:54+00:00

I don't want casual sex. I want a relationship with sex.

Kronbopulus · 2022-09-29T10:59:37+00:00

Why is this always brought up? It’s never about the sex, a person can get themselves off on their own. It’s about being desired, being wanted, someone wanting you to be with them. Not some soulless business exchange that leaves you hollow and starting at square one after it’s conducted.

Sex is very important in most relationships but replacing it with someone who is more than likely disgusted with you even touching them yet has to put up with it to make ends meet is just an extremely sad replacement.

Even casual sex, it’s two people being mutually attracted to each other and enjoying each others company. A prostitute doesn’t want to be anywhere near some ugly fucker but will suffer it for the cash.

anon018274031 · 2022-09-29T09:30:52+00:00

Women here who has had sex twice in 2 1/2 years. Wouldn’t consider a sex worker Because 1) its not the sex I want. I want to feel like somebody wants me, not that they are paid to tolerate my presence. Plus I like everything else surrounding sex, I like being able to fall asleep together and talking long into the night. 2) after having one ONS I realised that I bond with people during sex. So I guess I’m stuck with not being able to have casual sex without a massive emotional fallout on my part. So paying for sex would probably be even worse. 3) I find promiscuity in a a man a turn off anyway. So probably wouldn’t be able to get into it. 4) also I do not have the money for this shit

So guess porn it is for now

5_7pickup · 2022-09-29T02:18:27+00:00

Because paying for it will never be as fulfilling as a genuine attraction and desire.

tired_hillbilly · 2022-09-29T02:38:58+00:00

I've thought about it. Still might, idk. I haven't so far for a bunch of reasons, a few of which I'll list.

I'm worried I'll feel guilty. I believe casual sex is morally wrong, and prostitution is a subset of casual sex.
I'm worried I'll like it too much and that it'll make the intimacy cravings worse. I can't afford to do it very often at all.
I'm worried I won't actually enjoy it and it'll be a big waste of money.
It doesn't actually provide what I want. What I really want is a romantic relationship, of which sex is just a part. I could get a sugar baby I suppose, which is much more tempting, but they're also more expensive, and I can barely afford a prostitute as it is.

Aromatic_Shop9033 · 2022-09-29T02:25:53+00:00

It goes against my moral value and I don't want to take advantage of women who are in poor finincial situations, support the exploitation and commodification of sex, and have sex outside of romance

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-09-29T03:09:34+00:00

I’m a woman who is old. I guess my reasons are similar to many men’s — I want a man to desire me, and paying for feigned desire doesn’t appeal. Many of us would rather go without forever rather than pay and know (s)he doesn’t want to be doing this.

I realize now I probably will never have sex again, and that’s ok. Well, it has to be.

Regular-Loser-569 · 2022-09-29T02:16:46+00:00

It wouldn't work because they will still be jealous of guys who can get casual sex for 'free'.

A_Refill_of_Mr_Pibb · 2022-09-29T03:45:11+00:00

I'm 16 years into a 'dry spell'. I would still rather be intimate with a woman who actually desires me.

DarkBrandon46 · 2022-09-29T02:34:07+00:00

The dudes who you're talking about who have anger issues about dating aren't angry because they're not getting sex. If they want sex that bad they will hire a hooker. The reason most these dudes are angry is they're not getting a romantic relationship. Hiring a hooker doesn't help this. For some, it'll make it worse.

NockerJoe · 2022-09-29T02:21:08+00:00

The average prostitute wants what I make in a day for an hour of work. Its legal but the only dudes I know who do it are middle aged guys since they can afford it. I don't see prostitutes for the same reason I don't drink regularly most of the time and take regular tolerance breaks for weed, because forming habits can easily clear a bank account.

Not to mention I've seen those guys who do use these services and there needs to be a certain level of self delusion you need to make it work. Most of them still want to buy that the woman they pay regularly is super into them and that this can also give them the emotional component as well. I don't think I can quite either trick myself into buying that, or else making a go of trying to form any sort of relationship with someone paid to be there.

imissze90s · 2022-09-29T04:39:36+00:00

With my luck, I'll be caught in a sting operation.

Freevoulous · 2022-09-29T10:09:11+00:00

Im a Chad dude who can get laid the usual way, but I paid for sex a few times just to know what it is like.

Budget prostitute. Super not worth it. Luckily I did not get any STDS, but her place was just grimy and so was herself. Super boring halfarhted attempt at sex which stopped halfway because I lose erection. 0/10 would not recomend.
Expensive escort. Kinda ok, and professional, but the whole thing felt artificial. She was stunning, the place was nice, and the sex was well choregraphed by her, but there was zero enthusiasm. It was a service, like a dentist. 5/10 would recomend to try once.
Erotic Massage with "Happy Ending". Whoah. Literally one of the best, if not THE best experiences I had in life. Got a full body Nuru Massage from a hot chick who literally rubber her body all over mine, getting me beyond horny, and then gave me the slowest, most sensual handjob that last almost 45 minutes, edging me to the point I was shaking all over. When I finally came I literally wept like a child; it was as close as I ever got to a religious experience. 11/10 would do every day If I could afford it.
Paid Swingers Event. Not the same as paying for sex per se, because you are not guaranteed to get laid, but you participate in an orgy for the fraction of the price you pay for an escort. Had a fun night with fun people, got a lazy blowjob from a cute milf. 7/10 would likely do again one day.
Sugar Baby. Met a cute college girl on Tinder. We hooked up once, and lost contact for a while. She contacted me much later offering "free use" kind of a deal in exchange for gifts and money. Surprisingly, her financial demands were modest, i think it was more like a kink thing for her than actual prostitution. 8/10 would probably do again one day.
TLDR : Nuru/Lingam Massage, Sugar Babies and occasionally Paid Swinger Events are worth it, actual prostitution not really. The bang is not worth the buck.

NotMuchLonger765 · 2022-09-29T02:40:48+00:00

You don’t get the validation of someone actually being attracted to you.

abaxeron · 2022-09-29T12:34:34+00:00

I love money and being STI-free more than I love sex.

Steakman1 · 2022-09-29T02:56:06+00:00

I’m not someone in the situation you described. But what I’ll say is that paying for sex once isn’t going to fix the issue. Many outcomes could come of it but the vast majority would be negative. But one thing for sure is that a guy having sex once in his life isn’t going to solve anything. And if he continues to pay for it whenever he wants sex, he’s going to be broke.

smallstarseeker · 2022-09-29T07:56:04+00:00

I do pay for sex and I think it does produce a positive outcome.

It resolves sexual frustrations so I am not angry or bitter due to the lack of sex. Sure it's not lovemaking, but sexual workers I visit are better in doing sex things then almost every GF I had.

Also since I'm not a slave for the pussy I am able to avoid entering bad relationships because I place much more weight on women character.

2022-09-29T08:47:59+00:00

Too expensive

HazyMemory7 · 2022-09-29T17:22:20+00:00

Lack of genuine desire is a HUGE turn off.

bunnakay · 2022-09-29T04:29:42+00:00

They'll say that what they really want is love.

But then they'll also get mad about not getting sex right away.

I think they're just cheap.

Freevoulous · 2022-09-29T02:18:46+00:00

Why do some poor women choose not to sell their bodies?

dukesaces · 2022-09-29T03:47:25+00:00

Paid sex will only be an effective substitute for men that want casual sex and then too it won't give them the ego boost and sense of achievement that casual sex gives.

It will never help those that want love, intimacy, a caring partner and a real relationship.

cowfishAreReal · 2022-09-29T04:51:01+00:00

Because if I don't have an emotional connection with the person I'm having sex with id rather just masturbate, it's free and I can do it better than anyone else

CameronJohns88 · 2022-09-29T05:20:08+00:00

-Doesn’t actually fulfill needs (validation and to be genuinely desired sexually)

-Illegal

-Most prostitutes in America are hideous

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2022-09-29T09:12:00+00:00

Ethical reasons such as possible ties to human trafficking, organized crime, supporting some addict's drug habit.

Nothing would be a faster boner-killer than some woman only letting me touch her because I threw enough money at her.

It's illegal where I am.

It's a dumb thing to spend lots of money on.

thetruthishere_ · 2022-09-29T12:21:38+00:00

Because some men want more than sex/want the women to want him back. Escorts dont want their clients, its a service.

Spread-Em-Plz · 2022-09-29T12:44:49+00:00

While I'm not a guy who has given up and I don't have too many difficulties nowadays (..relatively speaking), in the past I was a bit of an i-word and even when I was getting none whatsoever, I still wouldn't have ever paid for it, and the reasons why haven't changed.

So assuming that I was still involuntarily coochie-less and that it wasn't illegal:

It doesn't actually substitute for genuine sexual attraction. Which is often what these said guys are after, moreso than just the sex, and it's sure as hell what I was after.
What if it's a terrible experience and I waste money?
What if I get scammed and she doesn't show?
What if I go over there and get beat up and robbed?
With all that in mind, why would I pay a woman for her to give me an orgasm when I can just give myself one while imagining it's her? Sure, during the duration it wouldn't be the exact experience, but in post-nut clarity it's all the same really.

Even if everything goes perfectly and I have a great time, doing such a thing would weigh on my conscience forever.

Not because I think it's "wrong", but moreso after the orgasm is said and done, the fact that I gave into temptation and paid a woman who doesn't give a shit about me to access her body would just feel so pathetic. Ultimately in my own eyes, I would've hit rock bottom as a man.

2022-09-29T13:50:29+00:00

Too expensive and only fans kinda killed the model for a while.

ProfessorFelix0812 · 2022-09-29T14:31:11+00:00

I don’t know. The thought of some hooker giving me something I couldn’t scrape off my dick with a cheese grater comes to mind…

KamuiObito · 2022-09-29T16:15:52+00:00

Only lame niggas do that

Hungry-Nebula · 2022-09-29T17:19:17+00:00

It's illegal, which in and of itself causes it to be ripe for abuse on all sides of the transaction.

Seriously Canada, just nut up and make prostitution fully legal. This wishy washy "Oh, it's not criminalised, just the advertising, inquiry, meeting, exchanging of money,'living off the avails' of the money, and renting a space for the sex are all illegal. The actual act of sex isn't illegal, so why are you so upset?" bullshit is fucking terrible. It provides no protection to the prostitutes, the johns, or anyone that helps the prostitute.

paperpablo · 2022-09-29T18:20:42+00:00

My uncle ice cube once told me..there's two things that are free in this world..that's water and pussy

briiiana1122 · 2022-09-29T20:08:15+00:00

Woman but I wouldn’t because I don’t want to have transactional sex. Desire is the turn on, and the enjoyable part, not just chasing an orgasm.

2022-09-29T20:51:20+00:00

Cuz most men dont just want a piece of meat, they want a relationship and meaning

2022-09-30T16:22:21+00:00

I am after seeing how women have treated me. I don't really have money for high end escorts so street walkers and sex trafficked women it is for me. I don't care what anyone thinks anymore and I'm lliving for me and no one else

LegitimateZone4092 · 2022-09-29T07:31:10+00:00

Ok,

It seems that nobody in this thread has admitted to paying for sex, so here I am.

I am in a Long Term Relationship and I live in a country where sex work is legal.

I have been paying for sex when I felt that my partner sex drive wasn't matching mine.

My partner totally fulfills my emotional needs, I am available for her.

The girls that I see once in a while for 15,30, 60 min fulfills my sexual needs.

No I am not a dangerous asshole who likes to control and degrade women.

I have LOTS of respect for the women who can pull some money in this line of work.

When we meet, I try to look my best and I have a good hygiene.

I am here to answer all your questions (if you are respectful) :)

womandatory · 2022-09-29T08:40:00+00:00

Prostitution doesn’t make men less angry or hate women any less. In fact, it feeds misogyny, it’s inherently bad for all women because many women end up doing sex work via trafficking, or coercion/poverty. Please don’t encourage it.

MollyNext2 · 2022-09-29T07:51:34+00:00

I'll say here what I said in another comment. Some men might not have as strong a sex drive or desire. Or might be more in need of emotional connection than actual sex. For me, great sex is great sex. As a man, you're always paying for sex, one way or another. At least with escorts, we both know, I know exactly how much, and how long we have together.

Pro tip: If the escort you contact mentions anything to do with sex in your communications, run the other direction! Might be a cop. Real escorts only talk about time and money. You're paying to spend time with someone. You're not paying for sex!

MotleyCrew1989 · 2022-09-29T08:16:22+00:00

Higher chance to get STDs through escorts

dissident_right · 2022-09-29T08:20:24+00:00

Why pay for anything I can get for free?

psd5 · 2022-09-29T11:36:19+00:00

because physical sex is not a thing i tend to think most of men want, but want actual intimacy, sexual desire, love with intensity from a female. A prostitute will never deliver that to you, specially if you're genetically average looking male to ugly. Fact is that, prostitution or onlyfans are just a shortcut for so many dudes to ever contact with a woman. Not only virgins but dudes still no get attention after that.

I dont relate to those dudes that do it just "because it's their necessity" to do the mechanical act with a woman. Those dudes I believe are lying to themselves. Because it's all artificial. No authentic love and sex desire from them.

It's an option for anybody to pay for sex, specially being a man. But what is truly authentic and so hard nowadays, is getting the real sex desire and love from a female. In this very toxic era where all female problematics are showcased through social media but not the ones from males, specially inside of their minds.

DryProfessional8079 · 2022-09-29T13:08:31+00:00

Going on a flight on an airplane does not fulfill your wish of flying like Superman.

I want a woman to be attracted to me. Not money.

Ass-a-holic · 2022-09-29T14:28:16+00:00

I’ve been doing it since 2015 after a major sex drought.

It’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made while also being one of the worst.

The best because I have enormous abundance mentality knowing how easy it’s to just get pussy, it’s a powerful thing just to know u don’t have to deal with any bs. Also very beautiful females.

The worst because I have no desire to interact or create friendships with half the population, females, unless required for my job or escorts.

Neptune-Jr · 2022-09-29T14:42:39+00:00

I want more than sex. I want a companion. If I was just horny I'd just stick to porn cause it's cheaper.

Lovers691 · 2022-09-29T15:58:31+00:00

I have paid for it and overall my experiences have been mostly positive. The only reason I stopped is due to lack of money and the last escort I was with who I really liked and bonded with left to a pretty far away town and I just haven’t been able to see any other escort without thinking of her until recently(JFL, my oneitis was a hooker). I’ve gotten over her so I’ll start again.

If sex is a critical enough need to where it can be put on level with food or water why is there a stigma around paying for it?

Sex is a want, make no mistake about that like I won’t die or become destitute without it just really horny and I can somewhat alleviate that with porn and masturbating.

If you do pay for sex, do you think it helps you with any negative feelings you have toward life, women and dating?

I’ve never had negative feelings towards women for a dating, I have a good gauge of my attractiveness from what people have said about me so I can understand why women/girl never wanted me and have largely accepted my inc*ldom. Only thing tricking did was it made me happier and I had someone to socialize with.

returning_op2 · 2022-09-29T16:34:41+00:00

Eh I paid for a lap dance once and I didn't fill the craving I had, so I don't think paying for sex will do anything for me. I want the girl I'm with to have sex with me enthusiastically because she wants to, that's the only kind of sex I find fulfilling. It doesn't even have to be good sex tbh, just that I'm equally appreciated as I appreciate my current partner.

domdomdom333 · 2022-09-29T16:41:28+00:00

Because we want the substance that comes with sex, especially a loved one. Lack of sex is merely a surface level symptom as people want deeper things like validation and feeling desired.

bodaciousbonsai · 2022-09-29T17:10:12+00:00

It's the difference between transactional sex and burning desire sex. We can tell the difference

HeartCatchHana · 2022-09-29T17:11:46+00:00

I wouldn't mind paying for sex but I prefer to be desired.

2022-09-29T17:52:15+00:00

I'm not your targetted demographic but I've thought about it. I live in Australia and funny enough there are a few brothels only a walking distance from my gym but I found sex to me is about intimacy shared by two connected people. Something to express a bond, It says I love you enough to be vulnerable and trust you with my body, and in this relationship for a however undetermined amount of time my body belongs to you. (Not really about owning each other but kind of like a bond.) I've been trying to find a way to explain it.

Sounds gay but that's how I feel.

Harvest895 · 2022-09-29T19:51:04+00:00

Been paying for it. Lost my virginity in a whore house to a beautiful Latina. Big tits and fat ass. Beautiful tan Carmel brown skin. She had that Instagram model body type.

darkmauveshore · 2022-09-29T19:57:49+00:00

Paying for sex has pros and cons. The pros are the sex is amazing bc they are a pro. They are hot if you know where to look. They also are surprisingly clean and get tested and make condoms mandatory. Again if you know where to look. Also you spend the same all told of you had a gf and pamper her with gifts, dinner and dates all the time. Never get your heart broken and don’t have to wonder if you’re getting cheated on, or really sorry about any emotional baggage. Cons are you feel no connection and have no love. Can be shady. Ect ect

Strip_Bar · 2022-09-29T22:48:04+00:00

Honestly you want bad sex? Pay for it

2022-09-29T22:50:16+00:00

Cuz it’s sad as hell

LotBuilder · 2022-09-29T23:45:38+00:00

I do. I have a few sugar baby’s. It’s by far the most efficient, honest and rewarding form of dating. Along with that… if you are a fairly wealthy guy then all dating is sugar dating. The cost is not a huge difference from regular rich guy dating. If we are talking about “free sex”… for heterosexual men there is no such thing. You always pay in one way or another.

StabbyPants · 2022-09-30T00:37:09+00:00

i don't want sex. i want a woman to want to fuck me and stick around after for bullshitting and cuddles

Aromatic_Shop9033 · 2022-09-29T04:08:26+00:00

Because I consider it dehumanizing for both parties.

I'd rather die than pay anyone for something that I consider sacred.

Pilling_it · 2022-09-29T04:35:29+00:00

It's exactly like asking why you won't pay a man to pretend he loves you and be the perfect partner romance wise.

FlyV89 · 2022-09-29T07:26:32+00:00

In my experience, the guys that frecuent escorts and are willing to pay sexual services tend to be men who are actually more extroverted and have a huge self steem. Believe it or not, a good chunk of good looking guys, the kind of guys that, funny fact, don't struggle to get women at all.

I'm a quite good looking dude but not really into that thing, it doesn't feel right, and it's not satisfying neither. Tried it twice and only because that's was what everyone was doing (peer pressure, we can say). Also the girls were very good looking and insisted a lot. Could be that girls actually sold me the idea that they really wanted to have sex with me, and that's why I convinced myself that doing it was right?

On the other hand, I don't see too much introverted and lonely guys going to prostitutes, I believe because having to pay while knowing they are not desired would hurt two times may be.

I know a guy who sees prostitutes on a regular basis. He's quite good looking, tall and very much well off. When asked why he spent his money on escorts instead of dating beautiful women, he told me "he had no time to waste in women, but he had a lot of money". So, basically, the guy knows he can get it from women, he just doesn't want to deal with them.

GripofDoom · 2022-09-29T11:07:52+00:00

27 yo virgin here, most likely visiting a hooker before I turn 28 to finally get it over with. I hope to de-mystify sex for myself and loosen up a bit more/getting used to it for the day wjere some girl shows interest in me maybe. The two sad dates I had in my life where almost as expensive as going to a hooker so whatever, I worry it won't make my life much happier tho.

BridgeBurner22 · 2022-09-29T13:12:40+00:00

Women can get sex, just from the fact they have a vagina. This makes sex less self-affirming to women, because men will fuck anything with a vagina. Men will sleep with ugly women and even women they hate, just because they have a nice feeling hole. Women get the same kind of self-affirmation, that men get from sex, when a man doesn't just want to sleep with them, but also wants to date the actual person behind the vagina.

For men it is different, they don't get access to sex just because they are in possession of a penis. So, when men do get access to sex, they feel very validated in who they are.
If men pay for sex, they are taking away the self-affirming part of sex, which is the best part.

newoneaj1234 · 2022-09-29T03:06:25+00:00

Cause i don't know where to find them

NationalistGoy · 2022-09-29T03:16:25+00:00

Paying for sex is very low effort, I kinda look down on men who pay for sex.

Seduction is where the fun is at. I enjoy the courting, the dates, sitting in a restaurant and tasting new food with someone I recently met, I enjoy the back and forth, is like a dance that eventually leads to two people passionately taking their clothes off.

Barely-moral · 2022-09-29T02:36:47+00:00

I did not give up but I can tell you why it is not a solution for me.

in a clearly defined transactions where feelings 100% won’t be involved.

This I have nothing against. I like clearly defined transactions that require no feelings to work out.

The thing is that sex is not enough in itself. I want exclusivity and I want stability.

A prostitute does not bring that to the table.

Maybe a sugar baby that is professional enough may provide exclusivity but it does not provide stability because she will end the arrangement eventually.

The solution for me was to find someone that needs me to get the life they want and is unable to get said life on their own and also unable to find anyone else willing to help her get it.

Harvest895 · 2022-09-29T05:33:55+00:00

Rather be a virgin then a degenerate

begrydgerer · 2022-09-29T22:16:12+00:00

Everyone who uses prostitutes is a potential psychopath/rapist. U cannot have such level of selfishness where u can enjoy doing something that intimate where the other person's feelings for u are completely irrelevant to u, and not be a little psychopathic.

Everyone knows that every man and woman in sex work is someone who has been groomed in childhood one way or another or is desperate (addiction, homelessness, poverty) or in any case, would much rather do something else if they could. To me paying for sex is morally equivalent to pay a homeless person to let u punch them in the face.

Some ppl (degenerates, no doubt) will now reply to my comment saying such nonsense like "working at a call centre is worse yadda yadda" No. You know quite well it's not true, u know quite well sex work has a devastating and irreversible effect on the soul and essence of the person who provides it, but then again if u are a regular u're prob a psycho so maybe u actually don't know.

_Davinci- · 2022-09-29T03:07:11+00:00

It's just not about the act, otherwise guys would jackoff and be happy. It's about the desire, to be wanted by women. But lots aren't wanted. So, how do you come to terms with being unwanted in society.

Paying for sex should be an availability world wide, in a safe regulated way. It doesn't make it all better, but I'd imagine it would help.

ConvolutedMaze · 2022-09-29T07:23:19+00:00

Because not every man is after casual sex like you and many women seem to think? Also I don't agree with it morally and I can masturbate just fine.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-09-29T17:19:32+00:00

It's actually about relationships, not sex.

They're called "incels" by feminism so to minimise the issue is that women have become terrible at relationships and just use men for sex.

missionarymechanic · 2022-09-29T22:42:05+00:00

Because I don't need to?

Because human trafficking and exploiting children is fricking evil as hell?

Because just the thought of loveless sex is completely soul-crushing?

Because I actually care more about pleasing my partner than getting my rocks off?

Because there are certain sexual acts that I wish to partake in which would be extremely risky or else unsatisfying (revolting, honestly) with the kind of woman who is with that many different men as to be paid?

Because that's not bringing me closer to desire to establish a family?

Because it's completely against my religion?

Substantial_Video560 · 2022-10-01T10:45:42+00:00

I've been paying for sex for nearly ten years and have had some awesome experiences. I've been with 24 women besides my regular. 100% recommend it! 😎

Swapsta · 2022-09-29T07:37:25+00:00

They aren't my equal

StopTheIncels · 2022-09-29T08:42:06+00:00

Most men, including myself, can't afford consistent prostitute/hookers let alone higher class agencies.

martyre- · 2022-09-29T07:03:38+00:00

Because that makes you a rapist

billsull_02842 · 2022-10-01T22:47:56+00:00

if they aint walking down the street they are walking down the aisle. ezekiel 16- you are contrary to all women in not seeking gifts.

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2022-09-29T03:11:30+00:00

it doesn't solve shit. an angry incel losing his virginity will barely change anything for him other than the sense of not being a virgin anymore. any other problem will still be there with them. why do people think this solves anger?? to pay a prostitute for non validational sex? perhaps that's exactly why they don't do it. cause it's just a transaction.

to answer the question personally, i've had hookups, i hated it. felt meaningless, felt like a waste of mental energy to deal with someone for just that, having them in my bed. with that said, i'd feel similarly about paying a prostitute. i'd much prefer to have a relationship and do stuff with someone i actually enjoy having around.

TheSongsInYourHead · 2022-09-29T03:47:45+00:00

It's illegal in too many places. Unless you've got money to fly off for it you'll realistically have to risk jail time. If prostitution were legal and readily available I'd hire prostitutes regularly, but since it's not, I don't.

SDW137 · 2022-09-29T04:01:47+00:00

It's expensive, far more expensive than food or water.
It doesn't do anything to help guys who want to be in a relationship.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-09-29T05:15:31+00:00

In terms of the big picture, there are many reasons why prostitution is bad for women AND men; and why it will never be enough to replace non-mercenary relationships.

On an individual level, as someone who has tried it once or twice, the ultimate reason is that there is just this kind of permeating sadness to the encounter that just ruins whatever carnal joy is available.

I have no doubt that there are some prostitution scenarios that mostly get around this fundamental problem, though others remain. But they seem rare to me.

MarBitt · 2022-09-29T07:44:39+00:00

When a woman begins to desire a child, and for some women it is a really strong and deep desire, to have a child, is the solution for her to hire some child for an hour a week to pretend that she is his mother?

Sex is necessary for men (not for all) because it is the form of love, communication and connection with another being that they need. Love on a physical level, acting on instincts and the subconscious. From the point of view of the pyramid of needs, it probably springs from the procreative drive at the lowest level.

For some men, a paid prostitute can be a certain solution. But it doesn't work for others. They feel all too clearly that they are not getting what they need. That it is fake. And paid sex tends to lead to even deeper sadness and dissatisfaction for some. Just like masturbating to porn. When the excitement wears off, shame and sadness and the knowledge that you're just lying to yourself come over.

Additionally, some men, as well as women, need a certain romantic connection so that sex is a pleasure and they don't feel more like being raped. Maybe one evening spent together talking or two or three dates. It is generally faster for men than for women, so women can feel like men want it anytime. But men also need to establish that connection first so that they can perceive casual sex as that form of love and communication. If a man doesn't have that connection with a woman, he can feel as abused internally as if a woman force herself to have sex without that connection.

sigma1932 · 2022-09-29T07:48:52+00:00

Why pay good money for what i can get for free from my own hand?

TigerRude4 · 2022-09-29T08:05:59+00:00

They want someone who's attracted to them

RootingRound · 2022-09-29T09:15:06+00:00

Why would I pay for sex with some stranger?

purplish_possum · 2022-09-29T09:39:08+00:00

Some things lose all value when they're monetized.

NelsonManswella · 2022-09-29T10:25:47+00:00

the same reason women would never pay a man to go on a date with them: we want to feel special.

it’s really not that hard to understand

vogel777 · 2022-09-29T11:06:23+00:00

Nice how you view women as a receptacle for a mans ejaculate and rage, sort of like seeing women as a man’s emotional garbage can.

2022-09-29T11:51:33+00:00

It is risky in my country. John's can get arrested for being involved
The women most likely don't desire you (really an ego thing). Maybe if we went on a date first and then smashed I could convince myself they wanted me more
It's expensive. Several hundreds of dollars for 15 minutes of fun. I can afford that but sex is not really worth that much money.
It's a stranger rather than a gf you are intimate with. The one time I tried this I told her to take her mask off and she wouldn't. That mostly killed my mood that she wouldn't let me see her face. So, overall if there was more desire/better acting this wouldn't be an issue for me

EnteFetz · 2022-09-29T11:55:45+00:00

Sex is too expensive. I can't afford to spend a significant amount of my income on sex and I also prefer to have sex with the same person consistently.

Also knowing that she does not like me at all is a horrible feeling and ruins the whole experience.

Sex is not just about having an orgasm, it is also about feeling accepted and feeling that she is comfortable around me. That is something a sexworker simply cannot provide no matter how good their acting skills are.

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-09-29T11:57:15+00:00

I think dudes would pay for sex with baddies or if it’s thrown in their face but not go out and look for it.

Tigon1991 · 2022-09-29T12:09:29+00:00

I would do it but its too expensive nowadays to hire an escort

swaggyquack · 2022-09-29T13:33:51+00:00

I know if I ever were to reach that point the main issue it would bother me is because part of the point of having sex is to be sexually desired. There’s an entire emotional and ego stroking element left out of the equation with a sex worker.

RegTextoffender · 2022-09-29T13:52:01+00:00

Same reason I don't cheat in video games.

Being wanted (validated) is what separates sex from masturbation. Paying for it is masturbation with extra steps.

lectrohS_naisA · 2022-09-29T13:56:15+00:00

Because paying for sex is pathetic. I'd rather fap it's free and gets the job done

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-09-29T13:59:10+00:00

I’m a woman and in a relationship so not really the target audience, but I don’t care to have sex with anyone who isn’t really attracted to me and wouldn’t choose to if money were not involved. I would guess most people feel the same. Incidentally, this is also why I am not interested in casual sex. Too many men will have sex with women they aren’t really attracted to.

AidsVictim · 2022-09-29T14:06:20+00:00

A large component of the desire for sex, even among men who have "given up", is the social and intimacy aspect despite what anyone claims.

SWIMAnonymous · 2022-09-29T14:06:25+00:00

I’d be down to pay a woman to be exclusive to me. I won’t be able to afford this for another couple years (I think). But I’d be down.

Otfd · 2022-09-29T14:19:31+00:00

I would.

But wont at the same time for many reasons.

The obvious one being, I am in a relationship, but also never had issues getting laid.

The second reason is the type of people who would even be offering... If it was some hot girl, with no experience selling sex, and was a one time thing, 100% would be in.

But I wouldn't pay for some street hooker.

blockboii190 · 2022-09-29T14:40:57+00:00

Please don't follow his message it's not simple but it's no where near impossible to get a date don't take the risk of catching something and having sec with someone who is probably being forced to be a hooker and you never learn to beat difficult things in life just pay your way out if it

felonious_dog · 2022-09-29T14:44:59+00:00

Because i don't want to force a woman to endure my intimacy for money. It's fake. Might as well get one of those animu pillows and fuck those. Get real bro.

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2022-09-29T15:16:29+00:00

there's just a lot of variables I'm not certain about and it would get a label placed on me that I think is better to avoid, I may not find it dirty (I actually do) to have sex with someone who's had an exceptional amount of sexual partners but other people certainly do and if it comes out I'm just a guy who bangs prostitutes or who is desperate they bang prostitutes.

The variables are that I'm not sure if I'll find someone that is attractive, I would feel shame selecting a girl based on looks if that's how the process goes and I'm not sure I could get it up considering everything in the back of my mind with the type of clientele and what her vagina looks like and how many dicks she's had and if she actually enjoys it herself or not.

there's the financial aspect as well, if I do enjoy it and I see it as a need to get resolved then how much am I going to spend each month that I could have spent on something more lasting, I already feel like masturbation isn't worth spending time on post nut so I probably won't feel like it's worth the money there either.

EDIT: I don't have any anger or emotional issues but I could probably benefit from an intimate experience ig

2022-09-29T15:19:18+00:00

I want to be wanted. Even if it was just being wanted for my body...that'd be more desire than I currently experience. This is something women can't seem to sympathize with at all...but being desired for something intrinsic to me and not just cash is not something I've ever experienced.

More than that though what I really want is a woman that wants me sexually in the context of a loving committed relationship. But I just want to emphasize I've experienced neither romantic or pure sexual desire, I want to be wanted on both levels. Paying to essentially masturbate with a living woman who doesn't want to be with me won't make me feel better.

bootyhunter69420 · 2022-09-29T15:38:51+00:00

I'm open to it. Just don't know how to go about it.

Best_Illustrator_137 · 2022-09-29T15:55:44+00:00

Cause they’ll still feel some type of way about the guy getting for “free” and people want to be seen as sexually attractive to the opposite gender if they’re straight and I don’t think paying for sex would fix that for them.

FreeThinkk · 2022-09-29T16:04:08+00:00

There is a stigma against paying for it because America is a nation of quakers and it’s been taboo since our founding. It’s fairly normalized in other cultures, legalized and safe. The US could solve a lot of issues by legalizing and regulating sex work like other countries like Australia do.

RealAmericanWeasel · 2022-09-29T16:29:34+00:00

I wouldn’t have any problem doing it if it were legal. I live in a small town that is not that close to a major metropolitan area. That kind of thing is just not very available near me. Since it is illegal, you risk extortion and legal expenses, if caught. I’ve heard housing can be hard to obtain if a conviction for soliciting a prostitute shows on a background check. I don’t know how true that is. You probably won’t have to deal with jail time but legal fees and fines are not insignificant and could financially break many people. Anybody looking to pay for sex illegally is pretty ripe for extortion, leaving the legal consequences aside. Any guy or guys with an arsenal of weaponry at his disposal could pretend to be a prostitute or have a female lure men to a desolate area, with a large amount of cash, and shake him down at gun/knife/whatever weapon-point. The victim would have almost no recourse. It’s a pretty easy heist to pull off for any kind of seedy character looking to make a few bucks.

Brandwein · 2022-09-30T12:14:45+00:00

The body should be a temple, treating it like fast food is an insult. I won't get my most intimate parts anywhere near a person i don't deeply trust with my body+mind and who gives out their own to anyone that wants it. To each their own lifestyle, but it personally disturbs me that people do this at all.

H8beingmale · 2022-09-30T13:27:49+00:00

i can see the sex worker industry getting bigger, since research and studies confirm that young men are having a lot less sex in the 21st century

gopher_glitz · 2022-10-01T09:51:01+00:00

Shame. Paying for sex is the male equivalent of being a slut. The way women feel about men who pay for sex is how men feel about women who give sex away to nearly everyone.

Maxim-Kotor · 2022-10-03T14:14:01+00:00

The journey is the destination.

gammaJinx · 2022-10-03T16:34:35+00:00

If you got no friends why don’t you pay for friends?

calIras · 2022-10-04T00:12:02+00:00

Most women won't pay for sex, but the really desperate ones end up paying for IVF. What's the difference?

EasternToe3824 · 2022-10-05T13:52:48+00:00

Working girls sell you an illusion of intimacy. It is basically fancy masturbation that reminds you of what you can not have. What kind of help would that be for a man that is based in reality?

SNAILSLIVEONJUPITER · 2022-10-08T21:35:36+00:00

Don’t need to.

belachewhm · 2022-10-10T19:25:17+00:00

It’s illegal In most of the western world

Title	Why Won’t You Pay For Sex?
Author	anonymous-platypus1
Upvotes	70
Comments	464
Date	September 29, 2022 2:13 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xqvha6/why_wont_you_pay_for_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-wont-you-pay-for-sex.1133518 https://theredarchive.com/post/1133518

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