What is the worst thing about being a man?

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2022-09-20T18:48:00+00:00

Being defined by your income

magnus0801 · 2022-09-20T21:07:14+00:00

Feeling lonly :(

Arrathall · 2022-09-20T20:32:29+00:00

Receiving little to no empathy. Especially heartbreaking when yiu turn from a boy to a man and experience the pain of losing it all

lastfreshstart4me · 2022-09-20T22:29:50+00:00

The difficulty in finding a woman who doesn't partake in gender roles.

I've met hardcore feminists who still expect you to play the role of the "man" even though they're not playing the role of the "woman" (i.e. everyone's a feminist until there's a spider around).

I don't want them to behave within gendered lines, but the hypocrisy in wanting me to while they don't gets tiring quick.

And trying to date outside the screwed up gender-norm based dating structure is hell sometimes. Even the women who want you become upset when you won't spit game, then try to get their number, then chase a little, then ask to take them out, then pick the place, then pay for the date, then make the first move, etc, etc. It's like they feel insulted that you won't play the game.

And as a man, requiring that a women give me the same level of energy that I give her often leads to me leaving and deciding it's better to be alone then mistreated. But I know so many men who stay with women who don't even recognize how badly they treat their boyfriends/husbands, yet the men stay because the fear of being alone is more frightening.

There are definitely some women out there who do show up and care as much as their spouse does, but they are far and few between specifically in the earlier parts of dating.

Learning to value myself has indeed increased my dating options, but those options all want me to devalue myself in some way to be with them. I can't imagine asking that of someone else, and I'm never going to do that myself either.

Jared35 · 2022-09-20T20:43:29+00:00

Being single in your 40s everywhere I go someone else I know my age is getting married or having kids. I don’t have any of that. Not even a chance of it. I get rejected every time I try. It’s hard to continue on when everywhere you look people are starting families and I’m not.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-09-20T19:11:33+00:00

Worst thing? Testicular cancer, I’d say. No ones to blame but you should to a check occasionally. Also raise awareness: dudes need to remember that it’s a real thing that can happen.

It hasn’t happened to me. But that’s probably the worst thing I can think of.

Hefty-Wolverine3675 · 2022-09-20T20:12:53+00:00

I’m glad I’m a man I mean I think my life sucks, but people have no problem telling me how it is because I am a man

Cablepussy · 2022-09-20T20:39:10+00:00

Defined by income:

There’s a reason there are jokes about men living in their parent’s basement but not women.

InspectorSuitable407 · 2022-09-20T20:55:43+00:00

You aren’t allowed to have inherent value. It’s all measured with respect to other men. Consequently you’re interchangeable.

You have to be more than that. Earn more than other men , be more resilient than other men, be more accomplished, etc. or you slip and become the “other men”. you lose the game and stop being a “Man” at all (you’re a loser). It’s a competition you didn’t ask to be born into.

daniiiuiiil · 2022-09-20T20:37:24+00:00

Female mediocrity is praised and awarded, while male competence is usually expected and a requirement.

Combine this with (some) woman’s propensity to avoid accountability and seek excuses for their behavior + this weird transitionary era of feminism where men are kind of just expected to function well but woman are tossed softballs in dating, education, and the workplace while complaining that they have it sooooo much worse

A man with no hobbies or drive is basically undatable and considered a loser. A girl with no hobbies who just stays home all day is a “homebody” with “social anxiety from CPTSD” or someshit she read from another twox poster

There are multiple reports from men who changed “male” to “female” on their resume bio, and the response rate for interviews suddenly jumped from like 2/300 to 100ish/300. In CS the responses sometimes even went up to 90%, with most offering to skip the pre employment testing men are held to without exception.

You go on Reddit to find a supporting community for struggling men, and the only places that are open are either quarantined controlled opposition or straight inc*l shit. Despite just being an average dude, you’re called a misogynist and woman hater for even implying that some woman’s behavior is ignorant or straight manipulative.

You go back on the front page just to see a twox post with 9 rewards and 20k upvotes that just talks shit about men for a couple paragraphs straight. But that’s fine right, because according to reddits official policy men are not a protected class because they are privileged and hold a position of power.

You’ll see posts about how “misogyny on here is on a scary rise” when we all damn well know inc*l subs are basically banned on sight. Y’all remember when FDS got banned for hate speech? Oh wait…

Logn3r · 2022-09-21T04:21:08+00:00

You are constantly seen as a threat. You can't be too friendly with children, women automatically assume you are out to rape/murder them.

Ohms2North · 2022-09-21T04:29:47+00:00

When you take a piss, it doesn’t matter what you do, there’s always a bit that dribbles down the front of your pants

DeJuanBallard · 2022-09-20T20:12:10+00:00

Having no value to anyone unless your doing some manual labor task they feel is beneath them or paying for everything for them

Claymore-Roomba- · 2022-09-20T19:07:32+00:00

Probably the stigma around men's health, both physical and mental. A lot of people say they won't view you any differently for seeking help when you need it, but that's just untrue. Especially in a relationship, if you show weakness to your girlfriend/ wife they nearly always think less of you for it, even if they won't outright admit that to you or to themselves.

Who's to blame? society lmfao

RahLyt · 2022-09-20T21:02:42+00:00

Sometimes it just feel like we were born to perform for others.

Gravel_Roads · 2022-09-20T18:22:39+00:00

While it’s true that men on average are more often considered for promotions ect because men are just expected to be successful … what they don’t tell you is that, because men are expected to be successful, no one notices or cares when you do well, because you’re supposed to. And if you are actively struggling, most people will sooner call you a loser than want to help you.

Women go through life with a spotlight trained on them, whether they like it or not. Men have the opposite problem: we’re anonymous and interchangeable.

And because we’re still human with human feelings and desires, this hurts a lot.

VTHokie2020 · 2022-09-20T22:19:33+00:00

Deflated social value. I don't get invited nearly as much to places/things as I'd like. I have to take the initiative for most social interactions, individually and as a group. Tough to make friends, even tougher to make friends with women. Have to pay more for public events (which usually suck for meaningful connection). Hell, it's amazing how night and day the difference is if I go out with just the bros vs. a mixed group. The amount of engagement I get in the latter is insane. Shit gets old though. Being less "in-demand" socially sucks.

And who/what is to blame for it?

No one. That's how the world works. I did it too a lot, especially as an undergrad in a fraternity and even today. Excluding other (shitty) guys and inflating the gender ratio isn't new to anyone who understands social dynamics.

I do think virtualization of society post-covid + the dating apps have made socializing worse though. Not dystopian-level bad, but I believe people were less autistic in the 90's.

Bonus points: what can be done to change it?

Societally, nothing. Individually? I just grind harder and build the network. I like to read up on stuff like this. The problem is that TRP/Manosphere takes it to a misogynistic excess and prefers theorizing versus actual practical solutions. TBP likes to downplay ideas like social proof, pre-selection, etc. and pretend sexual dyadic variables don't affect society.

If anyone has any good reading to recommend send it my way. Something really specific and prescriptive. Like the "Conquer your campus" book but for post-college lmao. Or another book I loved is What Every BODY is Saying, a simple book about body language that really helped me.

social_mule · 2022-09-21T00:00:01+00:00

I only have one gripe that occurs on a regular basis. I wouldn't even give it the lofty title of a complaint as it's more of a pet peeve and it's twofold. Maybe, threefold. So here is my best attempt at describing it.

It's the tendency of women to do three things. The first thing they do is inject themselves into any conversation men are having amongst ourselves. The second thing they do is accuse men of crying or whining when all we're actually doing is discussing. And the third thing they do is try to steer the conversation away from the original topic into all the ways in which women have it worse. And this has little to do with dating, romance or any of the usual PPD topics.

Let me give you a real world example of what I'm talking about.

I'm a middle aged man and a few years ago I was having a discussion with another middle aged man who is about 5-7 years younger than me. We were talking about men's health. Prostates or colons or something along those lines. Anyhow, I told him that men should take our health more seriously and mentioned that he's getting to the age where he needs to start getting his colon and prostate checked.

Now tell me what part of this conversation qualifies as whining. Sounds like basic advice, right?

Well, I made the mistake of having this conversation within earshot of a 475 lb butch biker skank. You would have thought I had pulled down my pants and shitted on the bar.

What are you guys crying about? Women have had periods since they were teenage girls. Bla bla bla menstrual cramps this, yada yada yada labor pains that, bla bla bla PMS this, yada yada yada pap smears that.

Well she caught me on the right day and I ripped her a new one. I left her in tears and god damn it felt good. The nerve of this skank sticking her nose into a conversation between two complete strangers then accusing us of whining for suggesting we get screened for colon and prostate cancer.

But yeah, this kinda thing is a pet peeve of mine. Other than that I have no real complaints about being a man. It beats the alternative.

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-09-21T01:05:59+00:00

specific to YOU

As an optimist it’s hard. To find a negative. Probably more time. It’s a full day, every day. With a family with 3 kids. That said we have a fairly locked in routine. So it’s not bad. Just busy. That’s also with the fact, I don’t really work. Plus my wife is easing back into her work. Post-maternity leave. So she’s home a lot currently too.

Ultimately what you prioritise, is what you value.

Godspeed and good luck!

AreOut · 2022-09-20T21:13:36+00:00

Shaving balls.

_Davinci- · 2022-09-20T18:24:31+00:00

The sheer pressure. A man has no value, unless he can produce at a high level. Or so is the underlying societal sentiment. The competition of just being alive as a man, wears you down. You have to earn a lot, you need a respectable job, you need to be interesting all the time, you have to have your emotions under total control, you have to be able to get hard as a rock all the time sex is on the table, need to be ambitious, need to provide, need to be tall, need to be handsome, need to be social. Like I can write a page about this, but I'll stop there.

What can be done? Effectively nothing, it's just nature playing itself out. The supply and demand is too wonky. But it couldn't hurt to give men a fucking break. We're humans. Sometimes we want to sit around and zone out, sometimes we aren't horny, sometimes we have insecurities, sometimes were sad. All those feelings you have, we have too, because we are humans, we just got a lot better at pushing them down as to not upset others.

TodTheRod01 · 2022-09-20T23:42:47+00:00

you're almost always believed to be at fault or the perpetrator
no one really gives a shit about your issues
Affirmative action
everything is toxic masculinity nowadays

Just a few i could think of

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2022-09-20T21:04:59+00:00

Women’s high standards

Nature is to blame

Nothing can be done

abaxeron · 2022-09-20T20:21:50+00:00

What are the worst things you have to deal with as a man on a daily basis?

I don't have a frame of reference. The only thing I can compare my experience with - is being a male child. In this sense, there are no worst things. My childhood sucked.

I can tell you what's the worst thing I have to deal with on a daily basis, but I don't know if it's "the male thing".

Chronic exhaustion / burnout. I ALWAYS want to sleep for the last 15 years at least.

what can be done to change it?

I'd really appreciate shorter working week and lower taxes.

JumboJetz · 2022-09-21T00:09:18+00:00

I can spend like 20 hours on a dating site actively writing messages that are reasonably personalized get ignored before I get a response. If I get a response I carry the conversation and get ghosted lots (although to be fair sometimes I do the ghosting too - though I would respond if the girl initiated again but she never does). If the conversation results in a date, I need to plan it. Once on the date I often pay. If my social anxiety makes me not quite as charming as I would be on a second date or something, I’m dropped and ghosted. If there is a second date, I need to ask and plan it again.

It’s just a lot of effort for often zero reward because I don’t have a pool of people coming to me I know are interested as women do.

KingOnixTheThird · 2022-09-21T05:06:25+00:00

What is the worst thing about being a man?

One disadvantage that hasn't been brought up yet, is the fact that being short is more of a disadvantage for men than it is for women.

If you're a woman, your height has little to no impact in the dating market. If you're a 5 ft tall woman, you won't be penalized for being short. However if you're a short man, this isn't the case at all since height is more of a factor in your overall physical attractiveness if you're a guy.

Remarkable_Weather21 · 2022-09-21T15:49:57+00:00

constantly hearing feminist crap and conscription type of things

to feminists especially in the west a little question

what right do i have and you do not have

and then i want you to google rights women have men do not

imissze90s · 2022-09-20T20:09:16+00:00

Constantly being reminded of how "privileged" we are, how every single man has it good due to living in a "patriarchy".

noafrochamplusamurai · 2022-09-20T20:39:11+00:00

For me, it's the entitlement some women have for my attention, and the gender bias that comes with it. There's also some convergence that race interacts with that bias that may skew the prevalence of the issue.

What do I mean by attention, and bias. Women don't handle rejection well, there's an expectation that I'm supposed to interested some women just because I have a dick. Sometimes I just want to have a chill night out, and I'm not interested in Becky with the fake eyelashes. Then when you do reject them, they'll respond with some version of: " He must be gay" or " He's probably broke" as if that's gonna make whip out my penis and have sex with her, while shooting 20's out of money gun. Which brings us to the 2nd point, the gender bias. Lots of women still use Gay as a slur, and get away with it. Whereas if I did it( which I wouldn't), I'd probably get kicked out of the bar. I'm also still expected to fulfill the traditional male gender role, while living in a post modern society.

How does race play into this? There's a certain amount of fetishization that comes with being a minority. Similar to how some white guys fetishize the meek, submissive, obedient Asian wife/Asian baby girl. Certain White women are often predatory to black men. I've actually had women say things like " I know you like bbw's, all black guys do" " I bet you have a big dick, all you blk guys do" it's the mandingo fetish, is descends from the antebellum era, they may not be conscious of it, but they're viewing me as an object, not as a person, an object that they are entitled to possess. The looks on their faces when I reject them is always priceless

HTML_Novice · 2022-09-20T19:43:27+00:00

Insatiable, distracting, depressing levels of horniness and little means to satisfy it unless you’re top 1% of men is def the worst part.

Filmguy000 · 2022-09-20T22:57:43+00:00

Having to constantly prove yourself if you want any sort of relevance in life. If you want to be liked and/or respected, you have to jump through hoops almost constantly. If you want to get laid, it's even higher hoops and they are on fire. And margin for error is very dependent on looks.

The worst part is, no matter what you do as a man, if you get overwhelmed or stop for any reason, you will be a social outcast very quickly.

gastongang · 2022-09-20T19:50:13+00:00

the constant pussification of society, how society constantly tries to break you down, emasculate, weaken you, demean you, make you conform, fit into a there neat little box that doesn't cause any trouble. especially in the education system, when all you want to do is lift, fight, and explore

the social alienation is also pretty bad

the commodification of love

how you are always told you are the bad guy, it's always you with your evil toxic masculinity that's the reason why everything is bad, but when shit hits the fan you are the one who supposed to solve the problem

the fact that nobody gives a shit if men are struggling, there are very social programs or charities set up to help struggling men, there is a reason why most homeless are men out of a shelter are men, little funding for men's health, men dropping out of college and education, essentially there is no support

Schickie · 2022-09-20T21:34:30+00:00

A man is judged by what he has accomplished, based entirely on the values or standards of "Society". He is rewarded for the "doing-ness" of his life. Without the measurement, his manhood, and contribution to society is compromised or degraded. And our relationship to others is predicated on that measurement. NOT by the fact that we are simply men. Women, generally speaking, can never do anything that makes them "less" of a woman and often find support from other women simply because they are women. That is all they need.

Final_Philosopher663 · 2022-09-20T22:13:30+00:00

1) Knowing that nobody gives a shit about my problems. Good example is if women had men's suicide rate we wouldn't just address it once in a while . Oh and the condescending tone of women when I speak about men's problems.

2)Hearing ALL the time men have to be more emotional and be in touch with their feelings and we need to be more like women . ONCE I cried in a movie with my ex-gf and she was fucking laughing at me .

3) Feeling responsible for the safety of other women (even strangers) when in every confrontation that will happen they will be the first to run away while I try to protect them. (There have been many times I had this happen to me, still considering if I should just say fuck it and do nothing when I dont know the girl.)

Change it? For men's problems we need our own movement but now its "too soon" the narrative is that we are oppressors and we have more privileges.

Solution sadly always is " Try to be a better man or just take the hit and move on"

Overarching_Chaos · 2022-09-21T09:03:25+00:00

The fact a man's life is super competitive and no one prepares you for it, especially when raised by complacent and oblivious parents who do nothing in your teens and early 20s to guide you in the right direction.

redditb4udidkid · 2022-09-21T10:47:55+00:00

That the majority of women screaming equality aren't actually doing their equal part. I've seen far more women who wouldn't identify as feminist are actually doing the biggest part to actually help correct the situation.

Smitten_Squire · 2022-09-20T18:45:10+00:00

You have to be the go getter, get things done, have actual value, not just tits and vag. For instance thirst traps the roleplay as certain niches but really have zero skill and only sex appeal. Most men cant do that privilege.

And also yea, men are the ones who fight wars

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-09-20T21:04:34+00:00

What are the worst things you have to deal with as a man on a daily basis?

The expectation to not be emotional by society at large. When I was a kid I took it to heart but thankfully now I realized I can surround myself with caring individuals who don't lose respect for an emotional man. I'm able to express my emotions more confidently probably because I have OTHER "traditionally masculine" traits like height, fitness, extreme extroversion etc. But I also am very neurotic, sensitive (when it's people I care about who are criticizing me), and emotional.

When I was a child I pushed all of those down starting the first time a girl made fun of me for being emotional because my mom's cat died. At like fucking 13. It took me until I lost weight and became more attractive at 19-20 to not be forced to.

And who/what is to blame for it?

Society. Both genders

Bonus points: what can be done to change it?

Absolutely nothing. Women aren't gonna suddenly be attracted to emotional guys over unemotional ones. Men aren't suddenly going to excuse that either. Thays why I make all my other trats as high as humanly possible for

Play_Muted · 2022-09-20T18:26:03+00:00

Men are hornier than women and that allows women to have more leverage in most scenarios.

What can be done to change it? ethically there is nothing we can do and it wont change. non ethically we can try giving women drugs so they are as horny as men.

lostwanderer28 · 2022-09-20T18:17:50+00:00

Answer to first question: Gender roles and the expectations that come with it.

Answer to second question: Nothing.

:D

kaizenkin · 2022-09-20T19:09:11+00:00

Dating

Remarkable_Sort_1706 · 2022-09-20T23:29:35+00:00

I'd say being left to your own devices in terms of mental health. As a man, if you have mental health struggles, it's basically sink or swim/you are left stranded.

Isolation_Man · 2022-09-21T04:07:19+00:00

A fraction of the male population is permanently excluded from the dating/sexual market because of traits that are not under their control (height and bone structure). Those males live a life of discrimination and oppression, isolation and depression, mental health problems and suicidal tendencies, but not only they have to deal with it alone, they can't even complain, let alone fight for a fairer society. If they do, they are labelled "incel terrorists".

Caring_Cactus · 2022-09-20T20:35:22+00:00

Personally I believe there's nothing too major sex wise, but sure there could be cultural definitions and stereotypes that hurt individuals (just like there are for women).

This may be off topic, but one thing I find dangerous are these gender stereotypes both men and women have to deal with; I don't think anyone should be defined by their supposed gender, putting people in pretty/rigid boxes hurts and limits what individuals can do for themselves.

superior_mario · 2022-09-21T04:24:32+00:00

I don’t know man, I can aim my piss. Everything is pretty swell

TheTrueAltruist · 2022-09-21T05:24:13+00:00

As a black man I found it odd that within my race I was sought after more when I had nothing and no street smarts. Now that I have my head on straight and have been doing better for years the attention has disappeared.

Outside my race my brother and I are seen as interesting. "You're so articulate and we'll poised. You're nothing like what I expected. You're not like the others."

The worst part of being man is figuring out every interaction you have and how to navigate your responses to such. We're expected to pick up on each and every hint. The problem for some including myself is that ignorance truly is bliss.

I was happier not having to pay attention to cues and not treat every comment and action as suspect. Especially as a black man.

Ok_Yam_9875 · 2022-09-21T06:54:32+00:00

Sac stick.

gate18 · 2022-09-21T09:02:54+00:00

Really just curious why it’s hard being a man on your unique day to day basis.

It's not.

I love being a man.

It helps that I don't care about gender norms.

Whenever I meet male relatives I just let them talk, I let them give me advice, then turn around and do whatever I want. (I'm way happier than them)

I'm in my 30s, I don't have a family and I don't want one, I could do with more sex (heck probably even those with a wife/gf could do with more) but the benefits outweigh the negatives.

I don't know what old age will bring but life as a man so far is amazing.

I know you don't want comparisons but, my life seems even more amazing when I compare it to many women I know. Their look gets them in places, true, but my maleness has gotten me out of so many "obligations". Expectations are aplenty, so many people have expected me to be married, to have a higher salary, be more manly, put myself in danger... but none of them have turned to mandates.

I love women, but I would not want to be a woman, my life would have been a lot harder. People say we grow from hardship, but I don't agree. No one cries for people that work hard, yet an entire nation is in the morning for a Queen that worked an easy job for her entire life (if you don't agree, compare her job with a ditch digger)

redditb4udidkid · 2022-09-21T10:45:38+00:00

The fact that any woman can open accuse any man of any number of heinous crimes and even when she's proven to have lied there is little to no consequences.

Honestly feel they should do prison time if found to have purposely tried to fraud the judicial system.

Summ1tv1ew · 2022-09-21T13:18:17+00:00

Just looking at the same question asked to women . Seems like the men consensus on their problems are mostly mental /emotional whereas women it is physical. Would y'all agree ?

iamprosciutto · 2022-09-21T16:41:04+00:00

I could write a whole list for this, but it all really boils down to society just generally not caring about us. There are no ads to get me into working at a daycare, yet girls have millions spent of several year advertising campaigns to get them into STEM (to almost no effect). Graduation rates have been dropping for boys both in high school and college while girls steadily climb year after year. There are huge pushes to give women more freedoms and privilege while I get jack shit if I don't claw for it. I have to chase a woman for a relationship. I don't have the small chance of just marrying rich to have my life taken care of for me.

Life is just kind of ass if you're a poor man

KissMyAsthma-99 · 2022-09-20T21:24:00+00:00

There's a lot in the running for worst, but I'm going to go with one I haven't seen yet: never getting meaningful compliments. (Part 2 of this idea is women attempting to tell me what kinds of compliments are acceptable to desire and which ones are not.)

Before the responses get jumpy, no, you complimenting my shirt isn't meaningful. No, you saying I did a good job at work isn't meaningful. No, my mom saying I have pretty eyes is not meaningful.

Specialist-Action-33 · 2022-09-20T20:01:44+00:00

That men are automatically prejudiced as the scary or criminal type person, and depending on how you look, women will quickly take precautions if you happen to be around them.

Great example a few days ago. I was getting in the elevator at my apartment, and there was an American lady inside by herself about a few years younger than men. After I got inside and closed the doors, I saw in the reflection that she started clinching her purse tightly as if I was going to snatch it and run. When I got off the elevator, I happened to see her before the doors closed and saw she was loosening her grip. Idk if it was just me as a black guy, or as a male alone, or what, but I felt some kind of way after that.

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-09-20T19:09:23+00:00

The amount of time that I have to spend putting myself on the back burner to be responsible for, accountable for, and powerful for those around me.

The amount of things that I have had to compensate for, provide for, protect for, make myself smaller for, etc in order to preserve the comfort of others is enough fuel to beat up everyone I know out of frustration and anger, and it’s even expected of me to do this as a man with no compensation of it .

Yet alone trying to date and then a new person in your life also expects these same things out of you immediately. But you are fuck boy if you decide not to do them for her specifically.

neverforever3838 · 2022-09-20T20:16:15+00:00

The general assumption in a relationship that is anything is wrong it is the guy's fault.

AwesomeDog59 · 2022-09-21T06:04:09+00:00

Inability to express emotions. Let me rephrase, I am able to express emotions, and im lucky enough to have a few friend groups where I can do that freely.

But most of the time, It's heavily discouraged. Most of my exes wouldnt understand my emotions which led to them constantly pushing my already established boundaries (using their own feelings to coerce me into doing something im not comfortable with). I ve heard of women using men's trauma and emotional baggage against them in arguments and luckily this has not happened to me but I can definately see it around.

All of my female friends will constantly ask me to open up when they sense I'm going through something, but I only open up to about 2 of them, since the others will either instantly dismiss my feelings and claim they have it worse, as if it's a competition, or more likely they will gossip like a goddamn megaphone instantly breaking my trust.

I dont open up to most of my male friends either because they re just as dismissive and likely to gossip, with the exception of a few close friends im lucky to have. We re also more likely to openly mock someone when they re opening up. Men in general dont want to talk about how we feel and we suck at being emotionally supportive to other men.

The worst of it comes from work/education. I'm a big loud guy so I really try to express my feelings and establish my boundaries in a peaceful way, because if I'm passionate about it people will think I'm being agressive and I might end up fired. But its really hard to get acknowledged like this, my concerns end up dismissed, and when I talk louder and assert myself people distance themselves from me. Even the people who got their overtime pay or went home earlier because I was the only one to speak up.

Shit is fucked, feels like there s no right answer.

Fun_Push7168 · 2022-09-20T21:59:02+00:00

AKA here's your invite to invalidation.....no thanks I'm good

redditb4udidkid · 2022-09-21T10:49:21+00:00

The fact a woman can literally make it a living hell to simply raise, difficult, or often just be involved in their children's lives and the laws often are more than one sided.

itm4l2000 · 2022-09-20T18:38:30+00:00

Paying for the opinion of a woman because he is too gutless to lead the relationship. It usually ends in disaster.

midwesternMD · 2022-09-20T22:57:26+00:00

Honesty?

1) being attracted to several of our office staff and knowing that I cannot hit on them

2) seeing couples with relatively fit men and relatively obese women, and wondering if that’s what is in store for me. (Doubtful, but scary nonetheless)

3) walking around and noticing that the men who are obviously in relationships with women who I do find attractive have things I do not. Generally, I’m envious that they’re white (I am not), and I’m envious that they’re taller than me (I’m on the shorter side of the spectrum). That said, I have no clue how much better (or worse) they are at charm; I don’t know if they come from family wealth; and I don’t know how/when they met.

I blame workplace sexual harassment fears for #1, being in the Midwest for #2, and well, being me for #3. So #3 is probably the worst overall, now that I reflect on it more. But I don’t feel like reorganizing my reply to reflect that.

2022-09-20T19:48:16+00:00

I dunno, I am fine with life.

I know how it works. Its just about playing the game (the game being the system, whatever the system is).

Paranoidexboyfriend · 2022-09-20T23:18:05+00:00

I’m a white guy so if I fail at something everyone knows it was my fault. If I succeed there’s a bunch of lame privilege talk.

It’d be nice if I could blame bigots or the patriarchy when I fuck something up and get fired or I get passed over for a job or promotion in favor of someone more qualified

Obvious-Rise9199 · 2022-09-20T23:26:03+00:00

Because this. If you can find the internal memos that were floating around online, it also states preferential treatment to woman.

https://www.yahoo.com/now/twilio-ceo-announces-11-employees-215416475.html

daddysgotanew · 2022-09-21T00:54:42+00:00

You’re invisible most of the time, and no one gives a shit about you unless you provide something of value.

Esterwinde · 2022-09-21T06:33:08+00:00

Being pressured to excel, the consequences of not being successful are extremely high on your mental health and social life (extending to your relationships).

Swapsta · 2022-09-21T06:42:17+00:00

Being consider disposable (sperm is worth little, and so humans prioritize women>men even subconsciouslyj) compared to women unless you win the rat race. I've been doing fine success wise but still cannot afford to stop.

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2022-09-21T08:20:49+00:00

If a man has insecurity about something, he feels double shame for doing so. What I mean is, he feels shame for whatever he is insecure about, then also for the insecurity in and of itself. We tolerate, even expect, insecurities in women. But men are constantly how unattractive they are for having a basic human failing.

It sucks being expected to have this almost pathologically mindless unshakeable confidence in all situations. Especially if you're the more thoughtful, self aware type. It's often the stupid people who appear the most confident because they overestimate themselves.

I think it is more acceptable in today's society to step outside traditional roles or to be a nonconformist as a woman, than a man. A woman is encouraged to be whatever she wants to be but masculinity is still a narrowly defined list.

Feeling like your sexualiry is treated as predatory and threatening at worst, or in a more mild form a bother and inconvenience to women unless you are a top tier dude.

HuckleberryThis2012 · 2022-09-21T11:37:16+00:00

I guess the worst is that everything is always on you. It’s always more responsibility, more things to do, or more ppl counting on you and it gets tiresome. It’s not all bad bc it means you have a lot of control over how things go, but it does get tiresome. As I’ve gotten older I’ve grown more sympathetic to why my dad left. I don’t think it’s right, and I certainly would never do it, but I can see how just the weight of never ending responsibility could make someone want to just only be responsible for themselves and have a little peace lol.

Firm_Theory8894 · 2022-09-21T13:18:23+00:00

The fact that you, as a single man, cannot get laid whenever you want to or as easily as a woman can. Would be nice if they legalized prostitution.

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-09-21T15:11:33+00:00

For me, it would be still being an extremely sexually frustrated involuntarily celibate 28 year old virgin and I'm to blame for that.

Think_History_5682 · 2022-09-20T22:42:56+00:00

Getting canceled.

FlyV89 · 2022-09-21T00:34:26+00:00

As a man myself, I can't say there is no single inherently male dissadvantage that is not counterbalanced, and even greatly compensated, by the inmense privilege of being a man itself.

There are some areas in which women have it, undoubtly, better, and I agree that women hold inherent value just for being women, but beyond that, women can't do anything more.

On the other hand, if you are a man you can work yourself through hardship. You can become better, no matter how fucked up the hand you've been dealed with is, there are countless things you can do to be a better man, to achieve what you are looking for, to reach your goals in life.

Being a man is a damn powerful thing, despite I know most dudes here think it's some kind of curse.

But I bet if we ask dudes here, the same dudes who claim to be at the bottom of the barrel, if given the choise they would have been born a woman, and even them will decline the offer.

That tells a lot about how being a man feels like. Even the dudes at the bottom of the hierarchy think of themselves highly.

staggerlee718 · 2022-09-21T01:09:24+00:00

All the fucking nose hair.

Patrickstarho · 2022-09-21T02:00:36+00:00

I feel like we have to live up to crazy standards set by society.

wtknight · 2022-09-21T02:24:10+00:00

Going bald. That's all I can really think of. I don't have any issues with the other aspects of being my gender.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-09-21T02:31:32+00:00

I would say women's sex drive not matching ours and the current attempt to vilify masculinity, but overall I can't speak for other men but I enjoy being me🤷‍♂️

dauntlessmax · 2022-09-21T02:58:00+00:00

You want to take care of your skin, mental, physical and emotional health and people side eye you. It’s more normalized now but still.

lonewolf1961 · 2022-09-21T10:36:03+00:00

Loneliness

EndHlts · 2022-09-21T11:13:00+00:00

It's more about how I don't like anything about it. My entire life has been defined by mistreatment and precarity. I've never really been happy, and every time I have something good going I just am waiting around for it to get taken away from me. Some of it has nothing to do with me being male, but the majority has been a direct or indirect result of it.

henrycatalina · 2022-09-21T12:08:39+00:00

Nothing. I accept I'm expected to be responsible and perform to my own and others expectations.

I don't envy women.

I've not experienced divorce but that is one event women get advantages.

NelsonManswella · 2022-09-21T12:10:55+00:00

the fact that, as a short man, i need to put in Herculean efforts just to been seen as equal value to my taller counterparts.

Ohmaygahh · 2022-09-21T14:06:37+00:00

No one told me that even with thoughtful, intentionally corrective exercises, my knees hips joints feel like I've put them through WWII and making a last stand like Spartans 300!

Shit hurts and I'm nearing 50. How the hell is this going to feel at 70??

Sudden_Substance7914 · 2022-09-21T14:25:00+00:00

Not being able to get sex with a roster of hot girls on a regular basis unless I try really hard

AndyBrown65 · 2022-09-21T14:28:57+00:00

Probably the worst things are:

lack of empathy for your struggles
the expectation that men should sacrifice themselves for the happiness of women

One of the things I have done to change this is call out toxic behavior in double standards. Also, I don’t help women I don’t know. You are surprised at how many times a man is expected to be a white knight and help women. If I don’t know you, you can sort your own drama out

jackedsoon · 2022-09-21T15:06:50+00:00

Cant think of anything ngl

Caulifla2 · 2022-09-21T15:35:49+00:00

worst things for a dude is that nobody cares about your feelings or your unfortunate life experiences.

nobody gives a fuck about your mental issues like loneliness or lack of intimacy/love with women.

no empathy for male issues in current days with toxic feminism spread out everywhere that pretend that only women have issues.

RoperTheRogue · 2022-09-21T15:44:12+00:00

The constant gaslighting of our problems and the lack of empathy towards our struggles.

Being blamed for EVERYTHING wrong with the world, especially being a white, heterosexual man.

The hypocrisy of men being held to a higher expectation/standard in any given circumstance, especially social and behavioral, while women are given a more lenient pass. (I.e. Women can drool over and touch a man all she wants and it's acceptable while the opposite scenario would incite a witch hunt. Look at any interview with Henry Cavill.)

I can go into more detailed examples if desired.

luxuriouscraig · 2022-09-21T16:00:16+00:00

Sometimes people think I am gay, or online, a girl. But it actually helps me in dating, so the only thing that makes it a struggle is that people can be mean or be bullies, but I do not care anymore.

Being a male is easy (as in, the struggles related to being a male are limited and not major).

Khanluka · 2022-09-21T16:43:03+00:00

The idea that i could be used as a weapon of violence and murder against my personal free will. As if i refuse i could be killed myself or belong in a jail cell.

Only cause others on the top of a power pyrimade do not agree with others on top of a power pyrimade. Imo all world leaders suede have the requirement that they have seen active milarty combat. Just so they know when War comes what they are sending other people into.

KazuyaAmonn · 2022-09-21T20:00:37+00:00

being a kissless lonely virgin

Fabulous-Town8590 · 2022-09-21T21:42:49+00:00

Having your sexuality based almost entirely off of visual stimulation. I could meet the perfect partner for me but if she isn’t physically attractive to me I can’t force myself to be attracted to her. Women’s sexuality seems to be based off of a combo of physical attractiveness and a bunch of other factors that seem to be unique woman to woman. A friend once told me that “women learn to be attracted to who they love and men learn to love who they’re attracted too”, now while I think this is painting with a pretty broad brush and there are exceptions I hardly ever see a man with a woman who’s less conventionally attractive than him or a woman with a man who’s more conventionally attractive than her. My biggest fear is meeting the perfect woman falling in love having kids and then she lets herself go and I don’t want to fuck her anymore because she’s not in shape and I’m not attracted to her anymore. In this scenario I am the worst person on earth no one would have empathy for me and I would be a Pariah, all because my sexuality is 90% based off of visual stimulation. How could I ever marry anybody knowing that I might lose interest in them later? To come to terms with the guilt from objectifying my sexual partners I hold myself to extremely high physical standards and I’m very honest and upfront with my sexuality. I think the world would be a better place if we didn’t shame people for being “shallow” because sexuality is not a choice, being “shallow” can be a choice to a degree depending on how you go about it but by and large being “shallow” isn’t a choice so you shouldn’t judge people for it.

Quantum_Supremacist · 2022-09-22T05:02:38+00:00

Someone cut off a piece of my penis

odd_cloud · 2022-09-23T10:36:56+00:00

I’m going to be very late to the part, but anyway. As for worst thing in general, I’d join those who said that men are expected to succeed. Everyone knows how privileged men are and how easy it is for them to make careers. It feels like everyone perceives you as a failure if you are not a CEO by your 25. All you should do is just go to a secret door for men only and ask for a CEO position, right? Consequently, no assistance for you. The world is created by men and for men, so you must be really stupid if you have some kind of a problem.

As soon as we are on a dating subreddit, I’d like to mention the worst thing in this area. Men are bombarded with articles that they are not good enough and have to change a lot of things about them. At the same time, no one is concerned how to make a guy happy. I have not seen many articles titled like “women should do X, because men are upset about women not doing X”.

wannabe_winner21 · 2022-09-25T09:10:34+00:00

One of the biggest determinants of your attractiveness(height) is completely out of your control. And yeah the general denial from friends and family that height even matters for men.

Sarin03 · 2022-10-01T09:16:23+00:00

Its difficult to find one big bad out of the countless issues. Two big ones for me are: the lack of support, there just isn't any. Theres a reason why we have such a high suicide rate. And the amount of people that just don't believe we have issues.

H8beingmale · 2022-10-01T09:44:51+00:00

well its a fact of life that women will never or won't ever get to experience even close to the amount of rejection a man has to deal with if he/she wants to have a successful dating life

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Summ1tv1ew · 2022-09-20T23:23:08+00:00

Having to go sacrifice yourself in war to protect your kids and wife. Ex Ukraine

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-09-21T03:09:42+00:00

Moral expectations.

Women aren't judged like men when it comes to morality.

goldenstatewaves · 2022-09-21T03:55:51+00:00

I’m expected to fix everyone’s problems. Most of the women in my life that I date romantically expect me to fix them personally, emotionally, professionally, financially, sexually.

And I usually do.

But it becomes a burden after a while, and so normalized that they fail to appreciate it…until I’m gone.

Conscious_Ad_6572 · 2022-09-21T05:27:50+00:00

Only women children and dogs are loved unconditionally

Men are loved only they provide something

Ramzabeo · 2022-09-21T06:15:45+00:00

Not being able to share your feelings as easily since we need to be strong

redditb4udidkid · 2022-09-21T10:51:37+00:00

The fact a woman can literally make it a living hell to simply raise, difficult, or often just be involved in their children's lives and the laws often are more than one sided.

Title	What is the worst thing about being a man?
Author	VulpixEevee
Upvotes	91
Comments	831
Date	September 20, 2022 4:43 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xjdrpa/what_is_the_worst_thing_about_being_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-the-worst-thing-about-being-a-man.1132323 https://theredarchive.com/post/1132323

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