It isn't even enough if he actually IS doing his share. A man needs to explicitly negotiate domestic duties with his partner if he doesn't want to end up being a taker. He needs to understand ALL that is involved, and assume equal managerial responsibility for all of it.

There needs to be explicit agreement from both sides that the division is fair. And this division needs to be constantly updated: maybe 5 years ago she was OK with doing more at home because he spends more time at work. Maybe her feelings have changed, but she feels some guilt about telling him that.

A good man has to listen actively and really try to create an open, no guilt environment where she can share her true, possibly changing, feelings about this stuff. It cannot be a pro forma 'everything still Ok on the homefront? We both still pulling our weight?'. Men are more naturally selfish IMO. And have less guilt about being in the red on shared duties. So it is easier for a man to fall into a domestic deficit without guilt or worry about it. Conversely, women are naturally more prone to giving, and feeling guilt if they aren't doing enough. Socialization just adds on to this. So IMO this is more up to the man to make sure things are constantly considered truly fair by both parties.

It really should not be that hard to do. Especially with a family, these tasks fucking add up over time. Even a 40/60 split, sustained over years, adds up to a lot of extra work for her, and inevitable resentment. Men, we gotta up our domestic game if we don't want to be piece of shit users of women. Simple as that.