How common is this? "I have an amazing career, make almost 6 figures, have lots of friends and family, fit and physically active, many hobbies and talented, but I can't get a single date"

meddit-throwaway · 2022-09-15T21:41:06+00:00

There could be a few reasons for that. They could be short, or have bad facial genetics, or have really poor social skills (this is the most common reason). Usually the people who say stuff like this have really bad social awareness and think very highly of themselves, when in reality they're not that interesting apart from being a workaholic or spending their life in the gym. Money is really not a good way to attract women unless you can show it in a way which makes your life look interesting.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2022-09-15T22:29:00+00:00

Common in big cities. When many guys around you are at a higher level, you won't stand out at all.

A man can have all those tick boxes and still be boring af to women.

Especially if he relies on dating apps using boring restaurant photos and generic hiking pictures. There are literally thousands of these men and they all look like clones.

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-09-15T19:40:41+00:00

that list is meaningless in an unattractive man

Hoopy223 · 2022-09-15T20:00:22+00:00

I have known a few guys like that. One of them it was really obvious but the others were a headscratcher. They did eventually date and get married but it took them a lot longer than I would have expected. Frankly I thought they were the guys who got lots of girls! Sort of blew my mind.

SoleMatesC4S · 2022-09-15T21:16:03+00:00

they don't care about any of those things nor have they asked.

This is my go-to response whenever anyone pulls the "gEt a HoBbY" card. I guarantee I have more hobbies than the vast majority of you, and a good chunk of them are stuff that - in theory - would attract people. I play guitar, I do photography, I travel. Nobody cares. Every now and then a woman asks me about the genre of music I play but as soon as I say anything beyond the name of it, their eyes glaze over and they start "uh huh"-ing until I change the subject.

jasonology09 · 2022-09-16T01:47:17+00:00

Very common. None of those attributes are an indicator of how good that guy is at talking to, and charming women.

As a man, to be successful at dating, you need a combination of looks and charm/charisma. If you have those things, you don't need much else. If you don't, it doesn't really matter what else you have.

Spread-Em-Plz · 2022-09-15T22:33:21+00:00

I doubt this is common, but I can label a couple reasons why this may seem to occur on the occasion it does.

He's far too boring, sanitized and good guy-ish. This problem is more common than you might think. And I don't mean "boring" as in unfun to be around, but just he has no clue how to stimulate a woman's latent attraction. AKA "No game". Which explains the fact that the guy has friends but can't get any attention from women.
- If women are a bit interested at first, but then get flakey and/or ghost him altogether after a bit of interaction, then chances are, this is what ails the hypothetical guy here (depending on the time frame of her losing interest.
The guy isn't doing things that let him actually meet women. He's got male-dominated hobbies and/or isn't talking to the women he encounters through them.
The guy is LARPing or is overestimating his social inelligence or how "interesting" he is.
Ugliness. Let's be real bro. There's quite the chance that this guy is just ugly. I'm an average-looking dude who is nothing special status or money wise, and yet I do absolutely fine for myself (I even find myself in an occasional situation where I'm turning her down). Women simply don't want him cuz they aren't attracted to him and cannot negotiate with this fact.

odd_cloud · 2022-09-16T02:12:48+00:00

In my experience, it's somewhat common. I have a couple of friends like this. One of them worked at C-level in a smaller company and just below C-level in a corporation before he was 28. He is really into a sport, has many friends, and is an intellectual. Overall, he's a decent person, otherwise he wouldn't be my friend. He lost virginity quite late with a professional.

I don't know what the problem of such guys is. It seems to me, women just don't see men in certain men. They could be coworkers, classmates, or friends to women, but they are never considered a romantic option.

Also, I'd like to add that he belongs to the category of men who can not get a single date. I'd say the majority of guys I know do not really do much better. I think, they meet a woman who is somewhat interested in them once 1 or 2 years and try to not lose their chance. I know only one guy who constantly has comething going on. So, in my experience it's more of a norm for a guy to have nothing going for them.

AbuSharmootah · 2022-09-15T20:02:32+00:00

Check r/hingeapp or any dating app thread. Bunch of non-fat software bros pulling in 150k+ in their 20s asking for help because they get no likes. Women don’t want beta buxx until it’s time to settle.

nashebazon_ · 2022-09-16T05:05:30+00:00

Here's the hard truth of this.

The "physically attractive" part can be a bit of a stretch. If you're a guy and under 5'10", it's just going to be harder for you, even if you have a LOT of really good things going for you.

If you're a girl, even if you're "physically fit" you might have less than ideal proportions. Small hips, no butt, small boobs, big shoulders, etc.

It's horrible to say all this, but this is what I ALWAYS notice from people who have everything going right for them in life, but are still single.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-09-15T19:42:30+00:00

How common is this? "I have an amazing career, make almost 6 figures, have lots of friends and family, fit and physically active, many hobbies and talented, but I can't get a single date"

All except the fit & physically attractive, I see pretty commonly never get dates

NFthrowaway8302021 · 2022-09-16T00:14:48+00:00

They aren't doing as well as they think, and their friends won't tell them so. The person must have an absolute shit personality, mental health issues, or is just straight up creepy with women. If women are actively avoiding you, or if you are actively repelling them, then you need to do some inner work and figure out what the problem is bc the common denominator is you.

I see completely average, overweight couples walking down the street ALL the time. If you think you are above average yet you can't get a single date then it's on you.

spiritdancer_ · 2022-09-15T21:27:47+00:00

It's very interesting that so many people in this subreddit complain about the just world fallacy that blue pill supposedly uses and then in threads like this turn around and go "No, that's impossible they must be doing something wrong."

The reality is you can do everything right, and still lose.

FlyV89 · 2022-09-16T06:01:44+00:00

It's not that unncomon.

I have three younger brothers, 30, 29 and 23 respectively. I'm conventionally attractive but my brothers pretty much have hit the genetic jackpot (a few of my exes didn't have a problem admiting I was the ugliest of all actually haha).

Thing is, if you saw these dudes from afar you would think all of them are some kind of Chads on steroids but the truth is that the they don't, and even the older one struggled AN AWFUL lot in dating until he was like 25 or something. The younger one thou, well girls have been falling for him since he was like in kinder, kid you not, an absolute "natural" as redpillers say, I could tell you some funny stories about him you wouldn't believe, but I don't think you can't learn whar the kid dows, it's some kind of "vibe" or something... You know, you have it or you don't.

So, in short, I've seen good looking, well put men both succeed and fail at dating.

My opinion?

My two older brothers are just too nice. And when I say "nice", I mean it.

They are too agreeable, they always think for other people first and they put themselves in second place, they don't just "go and take it". That's what the kid does, he's a self-centered brat haha, not that he's a "bad guy" or an asshole, but he just doesn't care what people think of him, he just mind his bussines and don't give a fuck a about pretty much anything beyong "what am I gettin".

I've seen my older brother, for example, refusing to aproach girls who happened to like him back just because one of his friends had crushes on those women, I've seen him rejecting women because they were drunk and he was like "dude she's drunk, that's not right"...

I've seen him even get toyed around in social situations, by other guys who try to put him down in front of girls... I told him "man you're 6.3', 200 pounds and buffed, grab them by the neck and tell them to cut that shit off" and he was like "easy bro, they are cool guys, we're just chillin/don't worry"...

Basically, my brother is "too good". He's the guy that never gets in troubles, the guy that doesn't do drugs and never gets shitfaced, the guy you don't talk to when you want to "get some fun".

And despite that he's a very intresting, smart, acomplished, level headed and charismatic man, women think he's "boring". He's not exciting. He's the "safe" guy.

Funny fact... He's a quite more popular now at his 30's than he was at his 20's. This could sound like a TRP sketch or something, but yes, lots of women on their late 20's and early 30's have asked me lately if he was single and seem to be more intrested on him than ever. He has been dating a very nice lady for the past year and no wonder she has brought marriage to the conversation several times when we hang around together haha.

I believe that yes, there is an age where women's priority change from "exciting bad guy" to "agreeable nice guy" in a blink.

So, in a nutshell, being nice (and when I mean nice I'm not referring to Feminist definition of nice, but actually good, kind hearted, easy going men) is a problem in dating. Lots of good looking and hard working men who struggle with dating seem to have the same character, they are so good that they become predictable, or... Boring, to women at least.

And yes, their options improve as women age and start to think about marriage and kids.

TheMedsPeds · 2022-09-15T22:36:21+00:00

Usually some sort of huge personality flaw.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2022-09-15T21:04:41+00:00

Not very common but it's becoming more common recently. My guess would be that if a guy had all this attributes and was still struggling he was either facially unattractive or giving off nice guy vibes.

Ohmaygahh · 2022-09-15T20:45:45+00:00

Personally have seen this in NYC. Demonstrably top tier guys in manhattan struggle with poor bitches from queens and the bronx.

It made no sense. One was a closet homo or bisexual, another showed me around and he was just such a sweetheart... but what he showed me opened my eyes to things that were lurking below the surface. The women in his "league" weren't in his league at all!

Their age/work peer women were angling for the international wealthy, the top bosses in their firms, being side pieces to married wealthy men who would lavish them jewelry and prizes, paid for trips and if they were lucky, some side dick from the boss who would use the cover of a "business" trip to account for the week away from home.

So even tho these guys were top in fitness, making 6 digits and being pretty well rounded and a little above average looking, they were failing behind the scenes with the party and big, big pools of money that was sloshing around under their noses.

NYC is a different beast.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-09-16T00:52:46+00:00

Those are all great positive characteristics. Sadly, though, they're the "cherry on the sundae."

If you have these? Congrats, you're truly good dating material. More than me tbh, even though I have a good circle of friends and make low 6figures, I'm not particularly talented and I don't have any interesting hobbies outside of partying and mma.

But to get to the point where it's even a consideration you have to pass a looks threshold. It's not as high as RPs say and it's not as impossible to achieve as blackpillers say, but it's absolutely there. If you don't pass it, you're just not even considered.

DrBoby · 2022-09-15T22:18:40+00:00

I always wonder “Do you ask people out IRL or do you shop for the most important person in your life like an Amazon product?”

Salkinov · 2022-09-15T23:46:49+00:00

More common than some think I guess. Almost all of my male friends are virgins in their early 20s. All of them study STEM subjects with high earning potential (not a career so far but what do you expect from students), none of them are ugly, none of them are overweight, some are into fitness so body is on point. Generally they have their shit together. Face wise they are mostly average but definetly not ugly. I know that some of them had chances they missed so it's not like they can't get dates / girls but at this point the effort is ridiculous.

Slyfer_Seven · 2022-09-15T20:52:40+00:00

That person is either very ugly, a dumpster fire of a person, or lying...

Stop_Maximum · 2022-09-15T20:41:04+00:00

To be honest, people online have the ability to lie. Let’s be honest some people try to paint an image of them that would make us think hard on why they’re still single, but realistically they’re not even close to that. If you were to ask people to post themselves when telling their problems, you’ll have a reduce amount of people complaining about singleness.

lectrohS_naisA · 2022-09-16T00:50:00+00:00

What you are referring to us know as "nice guy seduction" strategy. Basically, try and tick off as many boxes on the "Prince Charming" list. Had a good career, loves his mom, went to a good school, keeps his house clean, is nice and respectful, waits for sex, does everything in his power to please a woman, blah blah blah.

These guys are missing a couple of big ingredients.

They don't make a woman feel safe.
They don't excite women through emotional tension.

Number 1 is pretty self evident. If you are an ass kisser and always trying to impress women, it means that deep down you are dishonest and undependable. You give your power away to a woman for sex and she doesn't feel safe with you, because how can she feel safe with a man who kisses her ass?

Number 2 is not as self evident. But in a nutshell, nice guys offer zero excitement and emotional tension. They kills all emotional tension because it makes them anxious. They get anxious that they will upset a woman and won't get sex from her. Or she will be mad at them. Or whatever. But the guy who stole her money and fucked her friend, she can't get over and can't stop thinking about. Why? Cause the badboy provides emotional tension and excitement. Nice guys don't provide anything but boredom.

Kappador66 · 2022-09-16T11:57:52+00:00

I don't buy that people have all that. People in high paying, competitive jobs typically have to put in a lot of hours. If you're working 50-60h+ and time for commute+gym+healthy food/sleep etc. you're probably not going to have a ton of time socializing and 10 different hobbies.

Johnny_Autism · 2022-09-16T14:37:14+00:00

Why would making six figures be so important in a country where women earn their own money?

Normal_Tutor391 · 2022-09-15T23:21:30+00:00

since this whole list can hold 100% true for an ugly guy, I would say very common

Feisty-Saturn · 2022-09-15T20:58:38+00:00

This is uncommon. Show us a photo of you.

How do you try to meet women?

Meihuajiancai · 2022-09-15T20:45:17+00:00

"I have an amazing career, make almost 6 figures, have lots of friends and family, fit and physically active, many hobbies and talented, but I can't get a single date"

Lol, if I wanted to be a doomer I could plausibly make the case that you're talking about me. Hell I'm six figures+ (albeit just barely)

The reality is I'm limited because I'm stuck in a very sparse rural area, a far cry from where I spent most of my adult life. I have a great job though so...life is compromises.

I get dates, but they're usually in either the big metro 1.5 hours away or the smaller city 1 hour away. Even being that far away I somehow manage to get women who want to go out. So far they've always failed to progress because of the distance, but at least I get dates with attractive women. I'm not a pessimistic person, but I could see how someone like me but less optimistic could label his situation as OP describes.

If I lowered my standards I could get way more dates, especially amongst the locals. The problem is that in my age bracket in this area, the vast vast majority of single women have five kids with three dads and/or are obese. Apparently that means I have high standards ha

JAE_7502 · 2022-09-15T20:59:35+00:00

Gotta be funny, confident and know how to talk to women too. A lot of women make their own cash today so they are looking for someone that is fun to be around. That's usually what holds most guys back.

KayRay1994 · 2022-09-16T00:05:09+00:00

well for one thing you’re only looking at the external, but never the internal - while yes, there is a chance that said guys might have an ugly face its more often than not the fact that they have nothing to offer outside of external, and in the grand scheme of things, meaningless attributes - what’s the guy like as a person? how does he carry daily interactions? is he fun to talk to? how much genuine interest does he show in her? etc

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-09-16T02:05:20+00:00

I doubt it’s very common. But I would guess this person would be very facially unattractive and/or lack dating or general social skills. And yes, someone can have friends and still lack social skills, because those friends might all be like them and brought together by some shared nerdy interest. I know a lot of guys like that especially, but it’s possible for girls too.

Or, their standards are just too high. Some people who are accomplished are very picky and want someone on the same level. Which is actually fine and understandable, but is going to drastically reduce your dating pool. I would never suggest anyone lower their standards on things that really matter to them, but sometimes a re-evaluation of what’s realistic is needed.

siempreloco31 · 2022-09-16T03:51:59+00:00

It's not common to be making 6 figures, or to be fit.

Magnito-was-right · 2022-09-15T21:06:00+00:00

It’s because they think they deserve someone with model good looks because of their status. If they tried dating someone in their league looks wise they wouldn’t be single.

Historical-System972 · 2022-09-15T22:05:19+00:00

It doesn't happen - men who say they're in this situation are usually not as attractive as they think.

Remember, guys: being jacked /= being hot. If you're a 2 or a 3, you can't just lift your way to becoming a 10.

Zenterus · 2022-09-15T21:27:52+00:00

I LOVE cases like these, because it highlights the fact that if you don't have the right mindset, attitude and Game then you can be a 10/10 on paper, but you still won't get no play.

risdeveau · 2022-09-15T21:28:29+00:00

Never seen such a thing, although I do not doubt it happens

Optimal_Occasion_386 · 2022-09-16T00:31:33+00:00

Very often for both genders, as looks are incredibly important

SDW137 · 2022-09-16T01:38:26+00:00

I think that it's uncommon, but if this is the case, then the reason is usually a lack of time and/or high standards. They don't have the time to meet people and find someone who meets their standards.

midwesternMD · 2022-09-16T02:55:03+00:00

Meh, I don’t know that it’s that common. My personal experience might read like “I have an amazing career, earn 6 figures, have a solid group of friends, a great (but often overwhelming) family that I keep at arms length, a handful of hobbies/talents, but I’m struggling to find a good match.

I go on dates somewhat regularly (probably 2 first dates a month on average), and I’d say it’s 20% I’m interested but she isn’t, 40% she might be interested but I’m definitely not, and 40% I’m lukewarm and she is somewhere between not interested/lukewarm and we end up slow fading each other.

That said, I would think that someone like me would have an easier time meeting women, so I agree with the overall sentiment that it’s a bit demoralizing for men. But I can’t say that online dating is a dead end either.

leox001 · 2022-09-16T03:23:38+00:00

So basically "I'm super awesome but I can't get a date."

The likely explanation is they're probably narcissists IRL, their personality is so negative it that overwhelms all their positive aspects, assuming they even are what they claim and it's not just their narcissism leading them to overestimate their desirability.

Short-Fingers · 2022-09-16T03:23:53+00:00

I feel like they may be autistic or asexual at that poor cause they shouldn’t have any problems. They got to have some kind of social issue.

ManzBearzPigzIzRealz · 2022-09-16T05:24:16+00:00

Cuz you ugly

Spyro7x3 · 2022-09-16T05:47:43+00:00

Some people just don’t have “it”. I know people here hate a vague answer but it’s really the truth. I have to beat women off of me (volcel at this point in time) and I literally have nothing but a truck and I live with roommates at 32 years old and I have to beat college girls off. I have to avoid stealing strippers from gangsters on accident.

I have no idea why women like me I’m 6”2 but that’s not all there is to it. If I had to boil it down it’s because I’m curious about people if something crazy happened to me I’ll enthusiastically tell anybody I feel like telling and conversation just flows.

I really don’t think this is something you can teach unfortunately. The useful things I did learn about masculinity came from reading and admiring great men.

Think about the responsibilities and burdens of generals who had to make tactical decisions that cost lives. If you’re the guy who has a hard time asking his mom or friend to call him back later.. you’re a far far way off

vin9889 · 2022-09-16T09:07:07+00:00

After reading comments, it sounds the first box he needs is to be attractive and tall… hmmm

modidlee · 2022-09-16T09:11:15+00:00

A guy like that who still struggles getting dates has this issue: not being sexually attractive enough. A guy can be physically fit and attractive and not be sexually attractive. Being sexually attractive is simply being able to cause a person to be sexually aroused. Women don’t initially look for the career, money, hobbies and all that bullshit. They look for a guy they want to fuck, then see if he has all those things. So when the “can’t get a date guy” says women don’t care about his career and hobbies and all that, it’s true….because he doesn’t seem like a guy that’s good in bed.

MissJeje · 2022-09-16T11:29:17+00:00

I’d be interested to meet these guys in person because I’m guessing that they have little to no social skills.

YveisGrey · 2022-09-16T15:28:38+00:00

You could also have poor conversation skills. From woman to man one of the things that turned me off to guys I met was poor conversation skills. Some guys I really felt like I had to carry the convo they would give one word answers to my questions and just shut down a discussion. But that’s just me I love to talk and debate and discuss not everyone is like that but if the women you are meeting like conversation and you’re not delivering it could lead to them not wanting to date you.

PassMyGuard · 2022-09-16T17:40:02+00:00

I suspect a lot of those posts are lying or exaggerating their accomplishments, but dudes with no social skills are going to struggle no matter what else they have going on

-mixedsignals · 2022-09-16T18:11:19+00:00

Maybe they are socially awkward regarding dates

they get too nervous, too clingy, bad luck

ProfessorFelix0812 · 2022-09-16T20:14:03+00:00

In other words, the dude doesn’t know how to talk to a girl…

ruboyuri · 2022-09-15T20:33:22+00:00

I know no one like this

mumblebumblegrumble · 2022-09-15T21:29:50+00:00

If they're truly all those things and not lying, they must be going after women that are not compatible with them.

Best_Illustrator_137 · 2022-09-15T23:26:11+00:00

If the guys ugly then it won’t matter and if it’s a chick most dudes don’t care about any of that from you and you probably aren’t attractive to them either..most of the time I take it with a grain of salt because of course you are the “perfect person” but no one wants you..Definitely means there’s something major that’s holding them back or they’re just not attractive to the people they want.

medlabunicorn · 2022-09-16T01:57:48+00:00

Average, ugly, short, poor, fat, etc people are managing to get together all the time in the real world.

Best_Mord_Brazil · 2022-09-16T02:25:53+00:00

A few weeks ago, we had people here agreeing that a Google researcher was unattractive and unlikely to get a lot of dates. That dude was making minimum 300K, also skinny, white, and at worst was a 5/10 on appearance.

The reality is that making your money in STEM means that you take whatever your earnings are and divide it by 5. This is your "effective salary" since the girls knowledge that your a tech worker works against you.

The website "Blind", which is basically a 4chan for highly paid tech workers that is mainly designed for warning about layoffs and salary negotiation, is filled with people who make 300K plus and are STILL lonely, forever alone, incel, etc.

Money won't save you, at least not in America with white women. Go Asia FAANG man.

2022-09-16T11:57:05+00:00

hypergamy does not care about your job.

hypergamy does not care about your friends.

hypergamy does not care about your family

hypergamy does not care about your sports

hypergamy does not care about your hobbies

Do you have status above those around you? Are you pre-selected? Do you cause competition anxiety (dread) in women? When you interact with a woman (as a man who can fuck, not one of her girlfriends), do you enter her frame or does she enter yours?

If you are a woman, the response is:

Are you hot.

The end

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-09-15T20:18:22+00:00

You’ve heard if the nice guy I presume?

On paper he seems absolutely prefect yet after speaking with him for half an hour you realise he’s a control freak that wants a nice submissive wife to fit into his life rather than an equal partner in a relationship, he’s an asshole that thinks he’s not an asshole.

There’s always a reason a “nice” guy is single

xzpw · 2022-09-16T10:19:09+00:00

Common. Check profile. I’m not ripped but I climb, dance, hike, etc. I’ve had a 7-fig tc. It didn’t matter - lol. Looks is everything these days.

Zilch for OLD. In person is similar depending on the level of brain rot.

Recently, a good amount of women I’ve met in person find me physically attractive - even ones I find attractive - but many of the “most attractive” women in a place will not. They’re still going after the tallest, most status, best looks, insert trait, etc. Also, the women I’ve met and pursued are so incredibly slow at building up to anything that it doesn’t even matter. If I had much better looks - I think the defenses would come down quicker. But who knows - I’m in Europe right now and many women are just unlike women in the USA significantly. They won’t sleep around - many of the most attractive women have single digit numbers of men they’ve slept with - and it’s overall very conservative compared to USA. Which is a big surprise to me.

I’d say your age and location will have a huge effect on this. Go to smaller cities and with smaller crowds and you’ll do much better afaict. It’s when you’re online or in major cities that things turn to shit pretty fast.

Everyone looks at who is the hottest in the room. Get into smaller rooms.

DXBrigade · 2022-09-16T11:24:50+00:00

Plenty. Dating is not a matter of merit. Plenty of great people are forever single, plenty of low value men/women are in relationship.

TATA456alawaife · 2022-09-16T11:30:09+00:00

If you are making 6 figures I do not understand why you would want to date somebody. If you’re making that money chances are you work in a position that matters and can actually change the world.

SilentFroggy · 2022-09-15T20:09:56+00:00

It depends on if the man doesn’t mind being a beta

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-09-15T20:58:56+00:00

Without actually knowing you as a person its tough to really know what you are doing wrong. Here are some possibilities.

You may be fit but your style is bad.
You try to date the same way you make friends. They aren't the same.
You aren't meeting a lot of single women.
There is some issue with your social skills, mental health, or personality.

LotBuilder · 2022-09-16T01:18:44+00:00

Are you short?
Are you ugly?
Are you socially awkward?

Helpful-Drag6084 · 2022-09-16T17:17:52+00:00

I do believe the more attractive you are , the harder it is to find dates. People simply don’t feel comfortable approaching, think they can’t match up, or assume you’re taken

CodeOfKonami · 2022-09-16T18:57:30+00:00

6/6/6

IOportA · 2022-09-16T19:06:32+00:00

first off, you shouldn't be "trying" to get a date

you should be busy and snarky, and women will try to date you

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IceColdBrewsz · 2022-09-15T21:11:34+00:00

I have noticed a decent amount of men on Reddit who proclaim this....

Usually I think it's because those men are not spending near enough money on themselves. You mean to tell me you're in the top 10 percent of earners in America and you don't look like one?

Like wtf are you doing bro. My biggest problem with dating was me being broke. So I can never use it to my advantage. Money has endless.

You could buy a bunch of tattoos, get better looking clothes, better cologne, teeth whitening treatment, braces, great haircuts, expensive jewelry, a good looking car.

And you can pay for a dating coach.

So you make all this money to not look attractive? Mind boggling

Pr0f3ss0r_Chaos · 2022-09-15T22:07:54+00:00

Because these men don't know how to have sex appeal.

They may even be conventionally good looking, but if you don't have any edge of hook, you are going to have a hard time.

This is the hack that many less than great looking guys (like myself) use. Lean into my flaws, make her laugh at things she "shouldn't", do spontaneous and fun shit with her, be bold, don't be afraid to look dumb or "creepy".

You can have Chad's good looks, but if you have some milquetoast vibe, it will dry pussies up real quick even on OLD.

A glaring example of this is somebody like Ben Shapiro. I bet you could dress that guy up and make an OLD profile of him where he looked like a Chadlite.

How long do you think that attraction would last once he showed up to a date in his startched shirt buttoned to the top and started running that Alvin and the chipmunks on speed voice of his while vomitting out screeds about 'the gay agenda'?

darkvalleys · 2022-09-15T22:50:10+00:00

Verily, a unicorn is sighted

cromulent_weasel · 2022-09-15T23:36:05+00:00

I suspect lots of stuff on the internet should be taken with a grain of salt. It's quite possibly complete fiction, or someone who is quite deluded about the giant red flags they carry along with them.

I'm partway through a divorce and was dreading online dating (not something I've ever done). I created a 'placeholder' account, only partially filled out with zero photos, working on the assumption that no photos means nobody will contact me, and I would 'get back on the horse' some time next year. Someone did however, and I'm hanging out with them tomorrow night.

YMMV.

shadowofdoubt13 · 2022-09-16T00:17:08+00:00

Hahahah yes!!! Expose these fools

trail22 · 2022-09-16T02:32:23+00:00

Depends what you want? I have the same problem. What makes the women in your social circle or fridnds of friends in yoru social circle not want to date you?

I might have all that but at the end of the day my social cirlce will always have someoen better looking then me for women to go after. It doesnt matter how in shape I am, Im still a 5'3 asian guy.

mandoa_sky · 2022-09-16T03:38:44+00:00

depends on the hobby? hobbies are kinda irrelevant unless you want someone who has the same hobby

vtribal · 2022-09-16T05:38:02+00:00

How tall are you? What is your race?

Sophiadaputa · 2022-09-16T05:55:19+00:00

You are trying too much

Mindless-Spare-2454 · 2022-09-16T06:27:54+00:00

Jean Luc Picard said it best himself “you can do everything right and still lose, that’s not a negative it’s human nature”

Do you live in a big city? If so there’s a chance that you just don’t stand out compared to other men. Also, and I don’t mean this to sound awful, but you may not be physically attractive compared to other men in the same area. It’s the same with every woman, they may complain that men they date have no substance but they will always go for the conventionally attractive man who has nothing, rather than the finished article.

WYenginerdWY · 2022-09-16T06:28:52+00:00

It's hilarious that so many people assumed you were talking about men when I've seen countless women who post about the same issue.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-09-16T07:07:48+00:00

Maybe he is a massive dickhead

Maybe he never asks women out

There is a huge list of reasons

2022-09-16T07:45:25+00:00

I even know good looking rich guys who have struggled to get women to truly lust after them. I mean it's practically a given that the fact that men are so insecure is rooted in the fact that women don't actually physically desire 90% of men. This shows virtually everywhere when u just listen to what dudes, even dudes at the top, are saying. Musicians with fame and power whine about women all the time. Celebs get caught with hookers all the time.

The guys who get girls tend to just be fine with that, they don't overcompensate with money and careers and politics and stuff like that. So ironically civilization as we know it is a giant coping mechanism by unattractive men.

The reality is that if you have what it takes, it doesn't matter what you do, how many friends you have, how fit you are, some woman is gonna want you.

I'm borderline unemployed, no friends, no family, and get stalked by women regularly, but then again I'm a low inhibition off the rails Chinaman. Part of my "redpilling" was the dichotomoy of being treated like shit by society, being bullied by jealous dudes, shit like that, also the fact that getting with taken women is incredibly easy.

Tight_Fold_2606 · 2022-09-16T08:48:17+00:00

Whenever I hear men and women talk about how well they’re doing in life so they can’t understand why they’re not getting dates my first question is always; have you considered whether or not you’re an asshole? And of course that’s not to automatically assume that the person is, but I do find it’s something everyone seems to overlook as a major component to finding romantic compatibility.

platinirisms · 2022-09-16T08:54:14+00:00

Because they’re ugly, short, and boring.

You guys vastly over complicate these things. The answer is usually quite simple.

SkookumTree · 2022-09-16T11:28:17+00:00

my brother is like this except for the lots of friends/fam part. well he seems to have a number of friends but they are all much older or 'odd'...

there are pro athletes like this also - i know one specifically - he's a really shy guy and doesn't flex his money at all.

the common thing between both my bro and some of these athletes i know that are like this:

height, racial minorities, and horrific dress/clothing sense.

but they are all financial well off, stand up guys, very fit, lots of hobbies (though probably video game a bit too much), talented, work a lot.

NotTheBestMoment · 2022-09-16T13:09:54+00:00

You have to just ask people on dates. You see someone attractive, you say hey are you single? If you are good looking and you do it a couple times a day, you will get dates. If you aren’t, you won’t. There’s no smoke and mirror s

2022-09-16T14:58:30+00:00

You forgot the most important thing: taking a shower!

Smh you guys know nothing about dating

Jokes aside yeah Ive seen people like that. Dating takes specific social abilities not covered in friendship, and of course if thr guy is just hot but has none of those things you listed he will date just fine

YveisGrey · 2022-09-16T15:25:12+00:00

Are you OLD? If so it’s likely your pictures. Having bad pictures makes it hard to get any like and thus no dates. You could even try hiring a professional photographer to take some “candids” of you. Also putting pictures of yourself doing activities helps. Another piece of advice for you, try to use dating apps that actually allow you to show these other qualities about yourself like your job, hobbies etc.. sites that have prompts ask questions etc.. I like Hinge or Coffee Meets Bagel

Crunchthemoles · 2022-09-16T16:34:17+00:00

One word: ugly.

2022-09-16T17:43:04+00:00

Stereotypically common in tech and engineering. The skewed gender ratio means you never really meet many women in the first place.

hydro908 · 2022-09-16T19:20:07+00:00

There standards are to high or there personality is terrible or they think they are good looking and aren’t

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picminfuckface · 2022-09-17T21:45:46+00:00

Just like high salary, fit body and large social group require work, so do dating. And if they never learned the skills to flirt or the courage to ask for dates etc they wont get any action independent on how much money they earn or how fit they are. Since men are the ones that are "responsibly" for taking command when it comes to dating you already failed if you can not do this.

And if these men instead are relying on online dating they are probably setting themself up for failure, especially if they are not a lot more attractive than the average guy.

2022-09-18T00:53:29+00:00

Are you ugly? Or socially underdeveloped. I have good friends that are jacked and wealthy software engineers and holy shit are they single.

Det_Steve_Sloan · 2022-09-18T08:17:44+00:00

Loving family

Don't see how this is attractive

I'm physically active

What does this mean? Who isn't? Is the person fat? Fat people are active a lot. Difference between physically active and working out.

I'm talented in many sports and hobbies

This has very little value either, really, when it comes down to it.

The OP doesn't say '6 figures' either. It just says 'pays well'.

IcarusKiki · 2022-09-19T04:19:02+00:00

The men who say this are either mentally ill/autistic in some way or don't actually interact with potential dates

HobbitShaker88 · 2022-09-20T04:10:36+00:00

they have major character defects or social deficits IRL but we cant tell online
they hang with the wrong crowd/pursue the least compatible type of women with them
are extremely introverted and give up easily in dating. Not good as it is tough to find the best match so it is a numbers game
The most common reason IMO- since they have so much going for them and are a catch, they dont want to settle and thus, they need a high quality girl who is ALSO into them. Not as easy as it sounds.

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