Are women jealous of guys dating younger women, or are they perhaps legitimately concerned for the women?

mackenzie013_02 · 2023-11-11T18:27:48+00:00

I dated a guy who was in his 30s when I was 19. My friend from highschool also dated a guy who was 32 and she was 16… but that’s a different story.

Everything I say / advice I give is through those lenses. Based on my experience - I do not recommend lol. However, adults are adults and can do whatever they want so that’s where me caring about it stops.

AdhesivenessLevel379 · 2023-11-11T19:06:54+00:00

As someone in their early 20s and engaged - safe to say I’m not jealous of women my age in relationships with much older men.

When I was 18 I met a guy at a festival and turned out he was nearly 30. We saw eachother for a bit and my findings were:

he was somehow more immature than me
we had very little in common
he was definitely drawn to me because of my age. I didn’t tell him until after we’d met over text and he said “it would be tricky if you were 17 but you’re not”
openly admitted he liked I was young which grossed me out
he said he wouldn’t want to date someone smarter than him who would argue back
he got very pissy when I ended it and called me from no caller ID a dozens of times a day for weeks
one pro: provided me and my friends with great ecstasy for free so thanks for that!

And btw I have a very young face. Even now I’m constantly mistaken as underaged (by everyone, not just a bouncer trying to be charming). When I was 18 I legit looked like a kid and was very thin. There was no way he initially mistook me for being older.

Luckily despite being young I had enough wits about me to drop him fairly swiftly but i imagine if I’d continued it, it would have ended very badly.

begayallday · 2023-11-11T19:50:26+00:00

I don’t think every single age gap relationship is predatory in nature, but if a person is only willing to date people who are barely legal adults, that’s a huge red flag to me. And the genders of the people in the relationship don’t matter. A 35 year old woman with an 18 year old guy is almost even more creepy to me than the reverse.

TenaciousVillain · 2023-11-11T19:29:43+00:00

I think this is about certain guys who date younger women and it has nothing to do with jealousy because once you realize who these guys are - you don't want shit to do with them to be jealous of them - lol.

The only reason other women get dragged into this debate is because in order to "prefer" younger women, certain men who blab about their preference often must explicitly and loudly proclaim why any woman who does not fit within his desired age range is undesirable.

It's one thing to have a preference. But you're intentionally poking the bear to go out of your way to trash all of the women outside of your set of preferences. And it's to the point of trying to dictate an age range that all women lose value, dictate a number of men that she's ever slept with, spread myths about a woman's anatomy, dictate her value if she's had children, etc. It's far beyond just dating and preferring young women for himself. It becomes a public campaign to influence dating standards for everyone even to the point of hating other men who love women regardless their age. It's next level psychosis.

It's their inability to stay focused on what they do want that draws everyone's attention.

Then folks start wondering: what is the real reason that he's so incredibly obsessed with her being young? And sadly, he's given us the answers in the murderously-hateful reasons he's provided. We quickly figure out that his desires have nothing to do with loving younger women at all. In fact, he actually hates women, because as soon as she starts to slip out of meeting his impossible standards - she's trash, too. So yeah, now we're all legitimately concerned for the women who are preyed on by these sort of men.

Guys who actually genuinely love women for whatever reason, don't need to disruptively contrast their happiness to be with one type of woman with extreme disdain to the point of setting hateful principles for others. They don't need to ensure women and the men who love them feel shame for not meeting his misogynistic standards.

Edit: All of that to say, yes women are concerned. No, all men who prefer young women are not predators. Yes, some women are jealous but none of them want to be desired by a predator.

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-11-12T02:18:19+00:00

Go ask women how many of them began experiencing sexual harassment from 10-12 by adult men. It's most of us. "Omg, most men aren't pedophiles. Stop changing the narrative." The age of consent was 10-12 in every state in the US until 1865 and yet girls weren't marrying then. The average age of marriage was 22. Yeah, we should be concerned when grown ass adults are sexualizing children and then saying they only want to date as young as possible. No one gives a shit about an age gap couple that meets naturally and something develops. We're concerned about predators.

I vividly remember being 16 and pregnant and being told by older men that I needed to be with someone like them, "for my sake". "Think about your child and their future." "It's not like you're a virgin." Why would I want my child to be raised by a child molester? Make that make sense. I was still legally underage. It those same men that were creeping on us as 10-12 year olds and it's those same men that now say they only want "young women". I'm 26 and these same men are looking for teens. No one is jealous of girls being creeped on by predators. We talk about it so younger girls know that it's not acceptable simply because older generations had to tolerate it. We talk about it so younger girls don't mistake their bad self image and desire to be loved for actually being loved.

MyLastBestChance · 2023-11-11T18:49:37+00:00

When the woman in question is really young (<18-21), I think concerns over significant age gaps is warranted. Once a woman is 25? I don’t really see any serious cause for concern.

That said, 40+ men who deliberately seek out 20something women are definitely going to be judged as creeps and lizards. I’m sure some women do so out of jealousy but generally I think it’s just because it’s kinda pathetic and silly and brings to mind bad combovers, midlife crisis sports cars and sugar daddies in denial.

AriesProductions · 2023-11-11T18:45:46+00:00

I was 18 dating a 27yo. Married at 20. Divorced at 27. Every age gap relationship where the younger person is under 25yo is concerning to me after what I experienced and have seen with other similar age gap relationships of friends. No jealousy whatsoever. I prefer older men even now, but when there’s an experience/maturity/power imbalance at the age where someone is just figuring out who they are, it’s highly problematic and has genuine, documented issues.

So, 45yo dating a 30yo? Not my business, don’t really care. 75yo dating a 30yo? Also, don’t care. 27-30yo dating a teenager? Just no. 50yo dating a 22yo? Also, no.

anothercollegehoe · 2023-11-11T18:52:35+00:00

Chiming in as a 25 year old that’s had a few age gap relationships, for me it’s out of genuine concern. Yes I’ve had a single age gap relationship (24 and 39) where despite being in drastically different places in life and having incredibly different financial means, we had an overall very healthy relationship. The others I’ve been in, specifically one where I was 19 to a 44 year old man, was incredibly skewed. He constantly put me down for not being as accomplished as he was, made me question myself anytime I disagreed with him because he was older and successful so he must know better, and made me feel as if my worth was intrinsically tied to my physical appearance. He used his money as a means of control knowing I was a desperate college student. I was young enough that he had convinced me the way I was being treated was normal, because I hadn’t yet experienced anything different. Not all age gap relationships are abusive, but I’ve found that they have a much greater potential for abuse due to the skewed dynamics.

NefariousnessLife220 · 2023-11-11T19:12:13+00:00

No, not jealous one bit. It leaves the younger guys for me :)

onivore · 2023-11-12T08:42:53+00:00

I'd most likely be heavily downvoted for saying this, but most women (such as myself) would rarely admit the insecurity they begin to develop after they pass their mid-20s or early- to mid-30s. Of course, this largely depends on the environment/culture they've grown up in, their parents, and numerous other factors that contribute to their personal view of aging and when a woman is no longer "in her prime", so to speak.

For instance, I'm 26, and although I've been told I look much younger, most people would be put off once they hear I'm past my mid-20s. Or so I believe. That is because my parents have ingrained their belief onto me, that a woman my age should already have given birth and started a family, as pregnancies carried out later than that would either be unsuccessful or incredibly painful.

They haven't explicitly stated that "women have an expiration date", but their claims lead me to believe that this is the case. Why else would we spend so much on anti-aging products or even go under the knife to achieve a more youthful face? Why else would we strive for healthier lifestyles to pause aging? It is a fact that youth is attractive, and seeing how the younger population have a higher chance of being picked by the opposite sex would naturally spark a feeling of jealousy, or in worse cases, even resentment.

Personally, I haven't experienced a situation where a younger woman had "stolen" a man I've been interested in, but I've seen my father go for a woman close to my age (she was 21, I was 20 at the time), which made my stomach turn in disgust. The first thing that came to mind was that she was using him for money, but he stayed with her "because she was a kind person" and made him "feel young again". While I do understand his point of view, I'm certain that the true reason lies behind his attraction to her appearance more than anything else. A younger woman's face is much smoother, her body is much firmer, her breasts haven't sagged yet, and it is in a man's nature to be attracted to youth and fertility.

Now the question comes down to what exactly we are jealous of. The fact that it's much easier for a young woman to score with a man, or the fact that she's young and therefore more attractive? For me, personally, it's the latter, as I feel a deep sense of insecurity as the years go by and I develop the feeling that I'm coming out of my "prime years". But that's my opinion. Others may not be as superficial and looks-oriented as I am.

shonenhikada · 2023-11-12T13:10:41+00:00

Just like men have a mating strategy of using one woman for recreational use (sex) and others for commitment (marriage, meet parents, kids), women also have their own strategy.

You see, women tend to group men into 2 groups:

Desirable men - These men will not have to take her out on dates, women will actively show interest and flirt back instantly, will jump into the sack with him in 24 hrs.
Not desirable but stable men - These men have either 0 sexual energy or are slightly repulsive and have to win her over through combination of personality, displaying status and money. These men often get little to no play in their 20s and are told to "work on themselves" by women. Often after years of working in a career, these men will notice a sharp uptake in their options in their 30s.

Now, what makes a man desirable usually has to do with the type of woman, her place in life, and her economic background. And often it boils down to three things (Looks, money and status). For a lot of women, when they are younger, looks and status take precedence since they are financially cushioned by their parents. While other women might be more gold diggerish and prioritize money over looks and status and date older men. However, as women get older, often they start prioritizing money and status over looks more which is how a lot of unwanted males end up getting attention.

In general, when women are their most attractive/fertile, which usually is 18-24 years of age, they will focus their time and attention on locking down a desirable men. This offten results in them being used as sex toys over and over or getting a situationship; though some girls do get lucky and get wifed up.

When this fails, these girls then spend a few years single then move on to the next tier of guys. Usually these men aren't amazingly good looking or wealthy but they've got good jobs and the girl can tolerate looking at them. So girls give them a chance at relationship and this often eventually leads to marriage. This is why first time marriages happen at 29-31 years of age. According to Rollo Tomasi's SMV/RMV scale, women know that they are on a decline moving into their 30s (hence why most women freak out about turning 30), while men value are going up as they are moving up in their career and acquiring property and wealth. So a lot of guys are scooped up before they are given time to capitalize on this by girls.

For the men that go into their 30s and 40s that choose to date younger (usually girl in their 20s), this pisses women off because it means less available, desirable men for them. Basically, it becomes a flip of what happens in high school/college where a lot of women will date older men over guys their age. And so, women not liking the fact that they are being shun tend to resort to their only weapon, shamming, which often is done with deceptive virtue signaling of wanting to protect younger women from older men that are taking advantage of them.

Born_Werewolf_8181 · 2023-11-13T05:19:38+00:00

Jealousy, all females compete with eachother while also having to rely on eachother and manipulate men. Older women cannot compete with younger women and have to manipulate perception because they cannot compete directly.

FaradayBurka · 2023-11-11T18:30:12+00:00

I have been in big age gaps both up and down. No one cared when I dated a guy 10 years up, it was a non issue. But when I was 40 and dating a 30 year old man, people had words and were shocked. Do you know why? I look incredibly young for my age, so when I said my boyfriend was 10 years younger, they thought I was dating a teenager. Literally. Once I explained my actual age and his as well, no one cared.

Ill_Paper7132 · 2023-11-11T23:09:35+00:00

I think if it’s a big enough age gap and the girl is under 25 it’s definitely not jealousy. We remember how naive we were and remember encounters with older men trying to coerce us. I remember being approached by lots of older men when I was younger because they thought I was underage. They would ask for my number and think I was in high school and then when they learned my actual age (still very young) and I tried to shake them they would be pushy and act like they were trying to be “friends.” I’m sorry but what 35-40 year old man beelines for what they perceive to be a high schooler sitting by herself and asks for her number?

If someone is in their mid twenties or higher and dates a wealthy older man maybe somebody could be jealous but mostly people get creeped out or concerned. If the gap isn’t too big and the women met their SO after their brains are more or less developed I couldn’t care less and I hope they’re happy.

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-11-11T22:44:51+00:00

As an older women, it’s coming from a place of concern. And I still get plenty of attention and interest from men at my age, even from younger guys, so I don’t even have anything to be jealous of. It’s truly just concern. And I think this is the case for most women.

Barneysparky · 2023-11-11T20:12:02+00:00

I'm 56 years old, happily married, and have never had an interest in a vanilla relationship. I was a child prositute back in the day when men with power like Epstien and Nygard had sex with teenagers, and no one blinked, and the kid was blamed (I spent 13-16 in juvie).

Do you think any concerns I voice are based on jealousy?

Do I think the age gap backlash has gotten a bit ridiculous? Yes. But I'm aware that every social change has done the same thing. You guys would have had a caniption when women burned their bras.

womandatory · 2023-11-11T20:10:42+00:00

Every older woman was a young woman once. We know exactly what’s going on, because most of us have been there.

It’s laughable to say older women are ‘jealous’ because we wouldn’t touch a man our age who was into dating younger women anyway. What’s to be jealous of?

naughtychick9999 · 2023-11-11T19:27:37+00:00

I've almost always dated older men. I'm concerned they're being taken advantage of because they're naive. My first boyfriend was abusive and took advantage of me. The older man should be providing for them or helping them in some way to make the relationship equitable. Jealous of them now? Not at all because I'm still only interested in older men (50s/60s) and not men my age. (30s/40s).

applebottomgenies · 2023-11-11T19:41:02+00:00

Mostly concern on my end. Because I was dumb enough to date someone who was 30 when I was 19. They took advantage of the fact that was inexperienced and used it to get what they wanted. Not saying all older men are like that, but women need to be careful

Trouvette · 2023-11-12T04:27:00+00:00

It’s definitely the latter. And your proof isn’t other women. It’s other men. Show me one father who is thrilled to have his daughter dating a much older man.

AngeCruelle · 2023-11-11T18:58:48+00:00

Considering the fact that younger women are generally the most vocally opposed to age gaps I don't think that's what's going on here

ThrowRA_forfreedom · 2023-11-11T19:02:21+00:00

Some behaviors are legit predatory. E.g. waiting in the wings for a girl they personally know to turn 18 or only dating younger women to "shape them," which is pretty creepy. There are other scenarios that I think are straight up disgusting and, in many cases, illegal that young people shouldn't ever be subjected to. E.g. scrubs dating younger because the girl will be too naive to realize he has major issues that could ruin her life (previous divorce, extreme debt, criminal record, bad credit, mental health issues -- they could of course just achieve this with an oblivious woman of any age, still toxic), and of course literal statutory situations, etc.

There's definitely jealousy, even if just a little, when the older guy is a catch and it's an honest, healthy relationship. At least for my part. I really wish I had been able to lock my husband down when I was younger so I wouldn't have had to go through serial monogamy with duds collecting all the crummy baggage I did, and been able to start my family earlier in life. It's a pretty small and specific jealousy, though, and otherwise, big shrug.

whatever8482 · 2023-11-11T18:12:27+00:00

it is obviously jealousy

Bright-Personality70 · 2023-11-11T22:15:06+00:00

I actually think its the opposite. Younger people are much less tolerant of age gaps compared to older people. Gen z and younger millenials emphasise wellbeing and they talk a lot about relationships being 'healthy'. As there is a power dynamic in age gaps, they are viewed a being 'unhealthy'

Im not going to argue about power dynamics,but that it what younger people are espousing, which would explain why there is so much rhetoric around it.

When I was younger, people took the piss out of older guys dating younger girls at school - but no one ever articulated why using the language young people use today.

bluehorserunning · 2023-11-11T22:13:48+00:00

Trying to protect young women. We remember creepy guys our dad’s age trying to approach us from very young ages, and how gross and bewildering it was. We see our daughters and nieces being approached the same way now.

My elder niece is 14.She’s beautiful, but she hasn’t even gone through puberty yet. She’s been dealing with creeps at least since she was 12. It’s disgusting.

wtknight · 2023-11-11T19:30:40+00:00

Mostly they don’t want to see young women exploited or used for sex. I doubt that they would have much concern about a young woman who seemed genuinely happy in her age gap relationship.

DerayRevan · 2023-11-11T18:19:20+00:00

Honestly who cares what they think

SpeedyFalcon874 · 2023-11-11T18:19:06+00:00

Man here, I can't speak for women but as a guy I just don't get how men are into women who are decades younger, I'm 23 and a lot of women even 18-19 are too immature for me mentally

pssnflwr · 2023-11-11T18:54:01+00:00

yo honestly I think it depends on the woman… some are probably concerned and some are probably just jealous

Rogue5454 · 2023-11-11T19:45:23+00:00

IMO most women are worried for younger women b/c they’ve been there, know better, & want to protect them from going through the same.

Are there individual cases that are great relationships? Yes. Are there many cases of the older man purposely choosing a younger woman because of their naïveté & therefore easily manipulated for their own wants & needs only. Also yes.

_Ad_Astra_Abyssosque · 2023-11-11T19:56:10+00:00

I'd say it's 50/50 jealousy and concern. A lot of guys who date young girls are creeps. However, when the relationship is consensual, they still get upset at the man. Which leads me to believe it's a lot of jealousy.

karspearhollow · 2023-11-11T21:32:37+00:00

Why not both?

Why not more of one than the other depending on the situation?

Hi_Iamlexi · 2023-11-12T01:52:38+00:00

I started dated my ex when I was 22 and he was 30 and I didn’t realize at the time how unfair that power differential was. at the time I thought there wasn’t one but in hindsight I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Pick2 · 2023-11-12T02:47:06+00:00

Well if it was true they won’t admit it. So why ask ?

SteveSan82 · 2023-11-12T03:27:38+00:00

Older women are jealous. Older women also give the worst advice .

_Remember_me_not_ · 2023-11-12T10:21:36+00:00

Apparently women believe that most females below 26 years of age are children and that is why they should not be engaged as adults. The politicians are doing a really bad job and should raise the age of consent, voting age, drinking age and all age related stuffs for these kids.

Leinadro · 2023-11-12T17:43:19+00:00

It's a mixed bag. Some are genuinely concerned. Some are jealous of those younger women. Some are bitter and just don't want men to be happy.

Also notice if they are questioning the situation or are they assuming the situation. I've seen a lot of women who as soon as they find out about the age gap go straight to assuming the guy is a predator/manipulator.

wecovetwhatwesee · 2023-11-11T18:40:27+00:00

I find that all humans have this innate ego-defense against being average or less than average. You have to ask... if mother nature wanted more symmetrical, taller, fitter, healthier people to reproduce, why did she make EVERYBODY EQUALLY HORNY?

A: Biodiversity. That has to be it. The less attractive frumpy dumpy ordinary people are essential for "reasons", and that might even be only to make the higher value people stand out more. Mother nature. What a bitch.

I do think men expect to be rejected more than women do, and when a woman is rejected she can take serious offense to it. I've rejected a few women and they indeed were shocked that I thought myself to be in such a position - that as a man, having ANY woman show overt interest in ME was a privilege for ME. The old "All men want sex and my sex is as good as any other woman's sex so WTF is wrong with him?

One woman was obese. The other looked like a man - complete with receding hairline (fucking HELL). And the third was a mega-slut who likely had one or more diseases.

But I was the bad guy for having standards...

Yes, there it is. Women make absolutely NO apology for having the standards they do, even when said standards is clearly going to mean their partner has fur and pointy ears. Yet, these same women will tell a lonely man his FIRST AND FOREMOST problem is "he's being too picky".

Shrug.

63daddy · 2023-11-11T19:16:24+00:00

Most women young women who choose to date an older guy aren’t taking in some unemployed 40-year old Incel who lived in his mom’s basement. They are dating a successful, man who typically is more successful, more financially secure, more mature and has a nice place. Women who do this are making a conscious decision and it’s condescending for older women to claim these women aren’t capable of deciding whom they should and shouldn’t date.

Just because age gap dating isn’t the norm, doesn’t mean those who do are making a mistake.

Trikger · 2023-11-11T20:49:55+00:00

I'm 22 and consider myself young, especially since I still look barely 18. I also generally have no trouble attracting people.

I am still concerned for the younger girls that are with older men. It's dangerous; I've been there. Can it go right? Absolutely.

But it's definitely risky and definitely questionable.

DimensionVegetable37 · 2023-11-12T02:44:24+00:00

Jealous. Flat out.

When men give younger men advice it's always to help men NOT make the same mistakes they made. When women give women advice? It's to make the same mistakes, if not worst.

Older women are not looking out for younger women. Just like women. In the west aren't looking out for foreign women when men go over seas to look for wives.

Those same women dated older men when they were younger. Who do you think is paying for all these younger women's OF accounts? Who do you think pays the taxes most of these younger women benefit from? Zero complaining there for older women.

It's jealousy. They see younger women on Instagram in Dubai and on yachts. See them getting tons of likes. Tons of attention. And are jealous they aren't getting the same.

These same women will always say how they get all kinds of attention and no problems getting dates. Yet are still single. Still unable to find a husband. Women who never faced rejection in their lives until she was 50.

It's jealousy. These women instead of building a relationship and life decided to stay children themselves. Used their youth to get passed around. Used it to get quick fixes of fun and waste time and resources of many men. And never commit.

Now she's old. And she can no longer build anything fruitful AND can't be in the spotlight. Both boats sailed. And she lashes out at men.

Edit: I will add when people who have kids try to discuss this.. they try to make their 20+ year old daughters kids. They aren't. They are adults.

A woman at 18 has a higher body count than a man in his 40s. So stop trying to victimize women. You can't celebrate sexual liberation and freedom of women only when it benefits you.

dynospectrum7 · 2023-11-11T18:56:00+00:00

Ask yourself this, which gender do you see having a crisis once they turn 30 or 40? This group will rarely admit to being upset they can’t compete with their younger counterparts, so it becomes “we’re looking out for them!”

At 25 you can have have a career, take out loans, and travel solo. But for some reason you aren’t intelligent enough to date someone 10-15 years your senior.

Inb4 not all members of this gender get upset about aging.

neinhaltchad · 2023-11-11T18:28:13+00:00

Chalk this up to “a phenomenon that only exists on the internet among terminally online Karens who are constantly looking for reasons to be neurotic and angry at men”

I’ve been in several age gap relationships (some with a nearly 20 year gap) and never, not once has anybody batted an eye IRL.

I suspect that most men have had this experience.

Like many internet phenomenon, it’s just not a thing IRL. It’s just something to recreationally argue about online.

To be balanced, I believe the “n count” obsession and “the wall” that men point to is also not exhibited IRL.

Mauf066 · 2023-11-11T18:21:29+00:00

I think it's pretty likely to be jealousy. Most older women (and it is usually older women) who get so incredibly upset about age gaps don't give a single fuck about other types of power dynamics, especially if they disadvantage men.

For instance, let's take the example of a 30 year old woman who had a bunch of relationships and ONS throughout her teens and 20s, who marries a 30 year old software engineer nerd with little or no romantic experience. Most women don't see any issue at all with this dynamic, they actually defend it vigorously and say it's misogynistic to say anything even remotely critical about a woman's past. That's despite the fact that due to her experience the woman can easily manipulate and exploit the guy, especially financially. This scenario is at least as bad as a bad age gap relationship, but older women don't care because it disadvantages men.

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-11-11T20:39:17+00:00

It’s legit concern. We remember how uncomfortable it felt to be a teenager and have men old enough to be our fathers pursue us.

We also remember how stupid we were (while thinking we knew everything) and how little we knew about ourselves or relationships. We’re trying to prevent young women from being taken advantage of.

Perfect_Promise_943 · 2023-11-12T02:34:33+00:00

As a guy, I truly don’t believe they are jealous. I think they are legit concerned and with good reasons. However, I think that concern can often blind people. Though it is true a relationship with a big age gap is easier to become unhealthy, it doesn’t mean it will. There is plenty of relationship where one partner is way younger and the relationship was always amazing. I know people hate when I mention my own experience… my parents, when they started dating my mom was 16 and my dad was 32. They have been married for 30+ years and to this day can’t seem to stop loving each other

ConsciousInternal287 · 2023-11-12T12:07:46+00:00

As someone who was groomed by a paedophile when I was a teenager, it comes from a place of genuine concern for me. However, once someone gets past their early to mid 20s, I don’t care which other consenting adults they choose to date.

harmonica2 · 2023-11-13T15:00:09+00:00

Thanks for the input everyone! Well it seems the responses here are 50/50 about?

Demasii · 2023-11-11T18:58:45+00:00

I wonder why some think it's rooted in jealousy. What is the reason to believe that these women are lying about their or their peers negative experiences? Especially since there are so many stories all over Reddit.

Women criticize directly when jealousy is in play about other things.

Jealous of thin women? Tell the thin women to go "put meet on their bones" and that "they are not curvy". Jealous of having a rich husband? That Birkin bag is "too showy" and a "cry for attention".

Age gap relationships? The criticism goes to the man.

BaiKingu · 2023-11-11T18:42:39+00:00

It’s a mix of both. Depends on the women. But it’s mainly men critiqueing women for being jealous, when like, lots of women with standards wouldn’t even be into men who would want to date much younger women, because it’s a legitimate ick.

Like if as a 30 year old see an older man dating a literal teenager, it tells me a few things. One, he’s attracted to that, ok, fine, we can’t help who were attracted to.

But more importantly, he’s willing to date someone who’s is probably entirely lacking in other qualities and just going for looks, which someone who is also patently more naive & immature then his peers, who would most likely call out whatever possibly weird behavior he could exhibit in the relationship.

The reason some women are weary of that is because a lot of us dated much older men when we were very young and we are aware of the dynamics at play, aware enough to know they were kind of shitty a lot of the time and it only happened because we were naive & the men who dated us didn’t care.

Bouldershoulders12 · 2023-11-11T19:05:37+00:00

Most of the women who complain about older guys dating younger women are the same women who used to date older guys when they were younger lol. Theyre just older now with more baggage and less SMV so they can’t pull a high SMV guy in their age bracket so they use shaming tactics to mate guard guys that don’t even want them long-term.

Are there predatory guys out there? For sure I am not denying that. But a 18-24 old has agency and autonomy over her body and decisions like the same women complaining did when they were that age choosing older men.

AdFit1695 · 2023-11-11T18:15:01+00:00

It depends.

If the guy is attractive, socially calibrated, fun, and overall a nice guy, they are jealous. Because they can't keep up, and they are NOT young.

If the guy has hairy legs, is fat, bald, has a recessed jaw, unemployed, 5'2" and Indian, has a speech impediment, doesn't shower, is a misogynist, doesn't drive, spits when he talks, stutters, has a low IQ, and votes Republican... Women will actually be very concerned for the women he dates, especially if they are younger.

So, it depends...

obviousredflag · 2023-11-11T18:15:44+00:00

You need to realize that the women you read on here or on other parts of the internet are a very tiny minority, but one that is triggered by age gaps and needs to be loud and bold in their rhetoric. I have been called a literal pedophile for sleeping with a 20yo woman, on reddit. This is next level lashing out for feeling attacked in your self worth.

I am into age gaps basically exclusively, with a historic average age gap of -9 years of sexual partners (and -9 and -13 years for last romantic partners). Currently, trending more towards -20. I have never in my life gotten any negative feedback or comment for that in real life. It's an internet thing, because here, the most extreme positions and the most extreme people that you never meet in reallife, as they are not part of your life, get to voice their toxic hate and defend their fragile egos.

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2023-11-11T19:11:23+00:00

I’m in a happy partnership. We have a friend of my partner who is 32 dating a 23 year old. There is no jealousy. I love my partner and tolerate this friend for who he is.

I am genuinely worried for this girl. I know the friend. I know his issues. I don’t know this girl but I know even if she is the most mature 23 year old who has ever matured at 23 years old - she is not in the same social category, or financial standing, so the potential for even accidental abuse is astronomically higher than if he got with someone our age, doesn’t have the awareness of red flags, is naive in dating from a lack of experience, and does not have much in common with a 32 year old man, unless the 32 year old man is incredibly immature and has not grown into the adult a 32 year old should be(yup.)

It’s like Mr. Peanut butter from Bojack - he keeps dating these young women because he doesn’t want to grow up. But when the women inevitably start growing and he doesn’t, the women are hurt in the end that their partner hasn’t grown into an adult with similar interests. He remains a man child. And that’s the best interpretation.

I ascribe this intent instead of a nefarious one but That’s because I know this man. In other cases large age gaps for either gender, leads to tons of abuse because of the power dynamic differences between the two.

You can be 35 and 45 because at 35 you know what you’re getting into. You’ve established yourself, have experience and a way to escape if things go souther. Under 30? Nope. Unless you’re within a year or two of your partner, just too much growth happens between 18-35 that you can’t just skip over. Even a 3-4 year difference at 22 is such a jump in experience that it’s dangerous for the younger partner.

Once you’re 35+ have at it with anyone 35+. Until then, let the young adults mature into people before you decide to date them. There is a reason we classify them as young adults and not just adult. It’s a different category.

Wait until your brain is finished developing between 25-28 and then go forth and date whatever age range. But I still say 35+ for large age gaps personally.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-11-11T19:38:08+00:00

Nobody is speaking more about this than younger women. That's pretty strong evidence that we're just concerned. If we were jealous we'd try to find old men. But we're not.

EnergyOwn6800 · 2023-11-11T19:51:50+00:00

Jealousy. You almost never seem them point it out as an issue when its an older women with a younger man.

Personally i would not want to be with someone 10+ years younger than me but I don't see it as an issue.

Muscletov · 2023-11-11T19:56:25+00:00

Tending towards jealousy, considering women don't mind their fellow girls dating criminals nearly as much 🤷

Imagine if women attacked convicted criminal men dating women and spread warnings about then much as they do concerning older men. "Protecting young women" my ass.

Alexa, play "release my ngga" on YouTube

basedmama21 · 2023-11-11T21:12:45+00:00

No, we are not jealous. At least those of us who respect the differences between men and women. I understand how biology works and men are drawn to youth and vitality. Being offended by that is freaking STUPID. I’m six years younger than my husband.
Being “concerned” is a waste of energy and only misandrists do it

shadowofdoubt13 · 2023-11-11T18:25:31+00:00

They’re not concerned even a little bit. At the end of the day, it’s competition for the top guy. No matter what they say. I don’t buy what they say. I see what they do and who they fuck. And I calibrate my personality accordingly

jay10033 · 2023-11-11T18:35:39+00:00

Women see themselves as younger women. Men see themselves in younger men. It's quite easy to understand the motivation when you understand this.

Mexcol · 2023-11-11T19:09:58+00:00

It's obviously fake, ever seen the compliments women do and then they start dissing the other women behind their back?

Always the plausible deniability and double standards women love

silverhippo15 · 2023-11-11T20:20:35+00:00

Replace jealousy with any other word in the dictionary and that would still be the answer over being concerned. That’s how obvious this is.

Yupperdoodledoo · 2023-11-11T19:59:54+00:00

I’ve never been jealous of the younger woman in that situation (woman younger than 25 dating guy 10+ years older). The dude is always a loser and the woman is usually naïve. Has low self-esteem, and often isn’t super attractive. In most cases, the guy can’t get a woman his age.

Manbehindthemask2468 · 2023-11-11T20:03:53+00:00

They’re not actually concerned they are just pretending to be so their reasons for shaming the man look altruistic. It’s 100% rooted in jealousy and envy and an inability to accept that they aren’t desirable anymore.

AceOfSpadesGymBro2 · 2023-11-11T21:00:13+00:00

Of course they are jealous. Cummon.

ilike18yoblackpussy · 2023-11-11T21:37:52+00:00

I find it suspicious that some women get angry if a 35 year old nice decent accountant has a consensual serious relationship with a 23 year old who he treats good and takes care of financially.

But these same women don't seem to have any problem with a 22 year old guy who abuses and mistreats 21 year old women.

SkylineCrash · 2023-11-11T21:51:17+00:00

they are jealous. they were the ones who were dating the older men when they were younger and are now jealous they can't. they will try to disguise it as concern but it really isnt

DesertShifter · 2023-11-11T22:11:34+00:00

Its all fake. These same women would applaud 18 year olds fucking strangers on camera for money as liberated and independent, but if that same 18 year old is doing it with one man out of love its suddenly wrong and shes being manipulated and a ton of bs excuses begin flying. While I dont date that far down, im not going to pretend like these women are infantile morons, they are fully free to make their choices and whether they choose wisely or not so wisely is entirely on them.

Hoopy223 · 2023-11-11T23:18:37+00:00

“Are women jealous”

Yes!

If you’ve ever had lots of girl friends or lady coworkers you’ll know what I mean.

Guys get jealous too of course. It just seems to be more common with women especially if they are competing with other women.

Even a little old ladies. It will become the war of the grandkids. Whose grandkids are prettier, whose grandkids are smarter, who wins via Zerg rush because they have 23 grandkids lol.

ilovepizza962 · 2023-11-12T04:32:48+00:00

Sometimes jealousy but most of the time legitimately concerned

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2023-11-11T18:38:24+00:00

I wouldn’t describe it as jealousy or concern. More like eye-rolling. Resignation. Men are gonna be men, women are gonna be women.

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2023-11-12T05:04:06+00:00

Yes. I am soooo jealous of the fact that I can’t pull any old men. My young husband simply isn’t enough. Oh how I wish these old men would give me attention.

Bikerbats · 2023-11-11T18:27:11+00:00

Any individual woman it could be one or the other, but in the aggregate it's both. It should also be noted that not a lot of men like it either. I'll say it again: My favorite watering hole, the bouncers take the silver foxes hitting on the girls with wristbands (under 21) out the back, never the front, and I don't suppose I need to explain the significance there.

JNRoberts42 · 2023-11-11T20:31:00+00:00

Two things. Mostly concerned for the women because I've been that younger woman and I'm still that younger woman who is apparently attractive to old men.

"You're mature for your age"

"You're not like the other girls"

"I can talk to you about things I can't tell my wife"

"I could get in big trouble if anyone found out how I feel about you."

And also because "Old man, get out of my face I'm not remotely interested in your attention or how dull and monotonous your sex life is with your wife and I don't want to hear a damn thing about how well your dick works".

Ex_Machina_1 · 2023-11-11T21:28:24+00:00

Why would they b jealous?

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2023-11-12T12:49:40+00:00

Concern. There were always girls in highschool and college dating much older guys. The commonality was they did not end well and almost always included some form of abuse.

I have a 15 and 14 year old niece who are careening towards adulthood and no one would be happy if they showed up at 18 with a guy a decade plus older. Now everyone can say the consenting adults thing and legally: sure, but you never want to see someone in a relationship that's doomed before it starts and a party with bad intentions.

Moon-on-my-mind · 2023-11-12T03:29:39+00:00

35F. Genuine concern. Anyone who thinks we are all jealous or envious needs some thinking to do. Like seriously put in the effort to think.

First,. why on earth would we be envious? For what, the guy our age who's a creep wanting to date a large age gap? No thank you,.i want to be as far away from that as possible. I do not want to date such a person.

Second, envious of...the girl's age? Why would we be envious of a time in our lifespan where we don't know ourselves, we don't know what we want, there's creepy seniors chasing to date us, life is chaotic and we still try to figure it out? Absolutely not, i am so glad those years are behind me. It was pure chaos.

FineDevelopment00 · 2023-11-12T04:14:53+00:00

It's a common dismissive retort to claim the critics of relationships founded on age gaps are all jealous bitter ✌🏻"cat-lady"✌🏻 stereotyped older women, but that argument isn't the reality. The reality is there may be a few who fit that description, but there are also plenty of other demographics:

younger women/girls who feel grossed out and even unsafe by dirty old men hitting on them
elder women who were in toxic relationships that were based on age gaps when they were younger, hence they want to warn other women/girls not to make the same mistake they did (they may or may not be bitter as that depends on the individual, but either way they're right about relationships founded on age gaps being a trap for women/girls)
women of any age who are happily married to non-creep men, hence there's no personal bias in the sense of dating competition but there's still concern for others (I fall into this category)
women of any age and relationship status who are concerned for others
men who aren't creepy ephebophiles, who likewise are concerned for others and willing to call other men out on their toxicities when necessary (my husband falls into this category)

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Mysterious-Macaron90 · 2023-11-11T18:20:41+00:00

Both

baiser_vole · 2023-11-11T18:55:35+00:00

Neither.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17phmz4/comment/k85th7k/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Here's a good comment I agree with.

Song_of_Pain · 2023-11-11T19:27:37+00:00

Bit of column A, bit of column B.

bifewova234 · 2023-11-11T19:31:59+00:00

Bad people give you bad advice on purpose and tell you that its because they care about you

Safinated · 2023-11-11T19:32:48+00:00

I am concerned, because I remember being young, hormonal and stupid

I would think most women are able to do this

No-Rough-7390 · 2023-11-11T20:16:36+00:00

It’s definitely a bit of both. I’ve seen plenty of women in their 30s/40s get heated seeing men their age choose younger women when they did the same thing when they were younger.

While it may also be out of true care and concern, you have to let adults be adults. Either women have agency or they don’t. You can’t have it both ways.

gopher_glitz · 2023-11-11T20:59:06+00:00

Maybe the real question is why a young women would reject men her age and instead accept the advances of an older man?

Steakman1 · 2023-11-11T21:03:45+00:00

I wouldn’t recommend a large age gap relationship. But treating someone in their early 20s as a child who is incapable of making their own decisions with who they can date, but only when their partner is significantly older, doesn’t make sense to me. To me it’s just infantilizing women. Cougars are accepted but men dating younger women must be manipulators, while the younger women are apparently incapable of recognizing manipulation by their partner. But only when their partner is older.

skon7 · 2023-11-11T21:13:47+00:00

I think it’s a mixture of both. It really depends . I mean it also depends on how old the woman is. If s woman is super super young like teens early 20s then yes I would be concerned, if she’s in her mid twenties I’m less worried.

I would also take note of the age of the woman who is saying these things, if she’s much much older than sure, if she’s late 20s early 30s then she likely still has decent options and probably doesn’t have to spend her time hating on you get women.

JadeGrapes · 2023-11-11T21:22:14+00:00

Having been a young woman at one point... I'm 100% worried for the younger person.

When there is a big gap in life experience, and you are like 20... it's fairly easy for the more experienced person to exploit the younger person.

The older person can get away with treating the young person like a free escort, for the low, low price of belittling her or convincing her that she is unlovable unless ___.

If she wants to be a sugar babee or an escort, no shame in the game... but the dude better bring an equal amount of something to the relationship.

If a 20 year old wants to buy a car, or a house... they usually bring a helper person to help their side, so they don't get screwed over in the negotiation...

But relationships have WAY higher stakes than a house or car. And we send people in blind?

Take a look at "The Duluth Model" to see what being abusive "earns" certain men in a relationship.

Not all age gap relationships involve exploitation, but enough do that it's worth looking out for people.

Round_Homework2903 · 2023-11-11T21:26:50+00:00

Not really in this generation women can date and sleep with younger men

runner557 · 2023-11-11T21:41:19+00:00

In my non-female opinion, I dont really care about age differences in couples as long as everyone involved is consenting adults. Beyond that it's not anyone's business.

But people have different levels of maturity and place in life. And that's typically where very large age gaps run into problems and people have concerns. But it isn't something you can always put into a number that applies to everyone. A 19 and a 30 year old would be considered a big difference. But 40 year old and a 29 year old most would think is OK. Even though both relationships are an 11 year difference. A 60 year old and a 40 year old isn't even that odd. A number of celebrities have that. Donald Trump and Melania have a 24 yr age difference. Robert DeNiro recently had a baby with a girlfriend who is 35 years younger than himself.

So as both people get older, the difference doesn't mean as much. After age 25-30, most people have matured to their maximum point. The brain is fully formed. And their personality is usually pretty ingrained by then. You don't really change much. Ages 18-24 is the more controversial area.

Pantone711 · 2023-11-11T23:44:13+00:00

I don't mind any age difference up to 20 years. When I see an age difference larger than 20 years, although the particular couple is not my business, it makes me feel bad because guys will purposely egg women on about it.. I make sure to keep a poker face around guys when I see it so no guys will zero in and egg me on about it. This is the thing that bothers me--guys wanting to get my reaction or if the guy with the more-than-20-years-younger woman seems to be showing off. I was a young woman once and don't blame the woman, nor am I that concerned for her if it looks like she isn't coerced or trapped or abused.

I am 11 years younger than my husband; my sisters are 15 and 9 years younger than their husbands/partners. Again, I don't have a problem with an age difference up to 20 years although when a friend of mine, 20 years younger than her husband, wanted a divorce due to her husband's alcoholism, the judge saw her as wanting to ditch her husband now that he was getting too old to be fun. I think the judge went harder on her because of that.

The couple across the street, the wife was younger and she's the one who got sick and passed away. So it's not always true that the younger woman ends up taking care of the older man, but if I end up taking care of my husband in his later years I don't mind. Financially we are trying to plan for avoiding the spousal impoverishment Medicaid thing.

Edited to add: ALL my sisters are the breadwinners. None of our marriages were about the guy having money. We are all nerds; it just worked out that way. Long story. We were brought up super-strict and happen to all be nerds who found it much easier to make money than attract men.

More than a 20-year age difference seems to be when some guys in the vicinity are on the lookout for a woman to egg on about it. My husband doesn't do that and I wouldn't do it if I saw a woman with a much younger man. I don't have any need to make others feel bad about their dating success or prospects. But I hate it when other men try to egg women on and get a reaction, same as when men egg their partners on about a movie star they find attractive. Of course all of us find movie stars and young people attractive...it's just boorish to egg the less young or less attractive on about it, but some people do that with glee and I don't think I deserve it because I don't make remarks or egg guys on about attractive male movie stars or that sort of thing. I have just had more than my share of eggers-on trying to get a rise out of me and that's what I hate. I guess I've said that enough times.

I don't know how or why some guys manage to attract women more than 20 years younger but I've seen it and again, I keep a poker face because I know there will be people looking around for a jealous woman to ridicule. I just don't know how a woman is attracted to a man that much older without it being about money...unless the dude is a movie or rock star. I'm a Madonna fan and I personally wish she would marry OH WHO WAS IT I WAS SHIPPING HER WITH THE OTHER DAY...someone age-appropriate but I already forgot...I don't get mad when she dates hot young dancers but I wonder how emotionally satisfying it can be for her...but it's her business. I wouldn't egg some guy on about it. Again, for the thousandth time, it's the people who want to find someone less young or attractive to egg on about it.. I shouldn't be so sensitive but I know I'm not the kind of attractive that could have been arm candy at any point in my life, and I'm not out here acting proud, so when someone is looking around for a random less-attractive woman to bring down a few pegs...I don't deserve it and I don't try to bring guys down a few pegs.

EuphoricBrightTipper · 2023-11-12T00:00:54+00:00

If women were really concerned, they would not buy trash from China in Temu made by Asian slaves, many of which are women and girls.

ATasteofTx214 · 2023-11-12T00:18:10+00:00

I've never observed concern due to jealousy, age gap correlates with likelihood of divorce so most women know he'll be back on the market rather quickly, humbled and realistic. A lot of women (myself included) project their own personal fears and beliefs to young women and r triggered by the topic.

Personally, it depends on the level of exploitation; structured financial compensation makes it seem more like an even exchange. A middle-aged guy that feels entitled, attracted, or aroused by a womans youth with only mediocrity to offer n return is still exploitive because women grow and change rapidly and will lose that youthful ignorance and zest around 26 or when she becomes a mom and the relationship goes downhill from there and she'll most likely b left a bitter post-wall divorced single mom with limited life experience.

Moneydamjan · 2023-11-12T00:42:48+00:00

your irrational lens on those men and how you perceive their intentions is based in jealousy, just like a racists perception on black persons intentions

Logical-Confection-7 · 2023-11-12T01:38:44+00:00

I think is both. I get when the woman is younger then 25. But I’ve seen women reacting against a 52yr old with a 37yr old woman if she is attractive. I think older women sometimes do feel jealous, but what do I know.

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-11-12T01:50:53+00:00

It's concerning about the young girls...but generally he's a lesson she had to learn. It's kind of awful though. Like watching a young guy who just gotta own that overpowered motorcycle.

It definitely isn't jealousy. I mean c'mon just look at the socially inept weirdos who obsess over high schoolers. Icky.

Personally, the major reason I speak up is that every age gap marriage is probably a future age gap divorce and when that happens I want to not feel bad that I didn't speak up, and I don't want the 40 year old guy who is living in a bedsit and paying child support to get to go round saying there was nobody warning men like him.

Guys...I apologise to those of you who actually know how the passage of time works, but those who don't need a telling. If you are 30 and marry a 20 year old because they are hotter, more forgiving and innocent and just a wee bit stupid compared to their future 30 year old self...in 10 years they will be 30. You will be 40. And if their version of 30 doesn't like you very much you will be a divorced 40 year old paying child support to one of those sly saggy 30 year olds that don't like you and who you were trying to avoid.

There's basically no good marriage options for men without social skills. Men with social skills do fine with or without age gaps. Men without social skills fuck up anything.

More-Tax-62 · 2023-11-12T01:52:27+00:00

Whether they want to admit it or not, there are a good amount of women who do envy the position that they were in and once benefitted from. Of course not all.

I've seen the jealousy live with younger women simply existing around older women and the ire they were shown. At bars and clubs. I've seen it at work where a pretty young lady was showing a integrated lighting control products and my usually nice boss, 37f at the time, pouncing on her like a cat, metaphorically. Never seen her like that with older women or men. All my coworkers noticed.

I believe the distinction is shown by the women who name call rather than maybe listing the pros and cons of dating older. Creep, pervert, ped0 - for dating women adults in their 20s is insane. We allow young women to join the military and forfeit their lives. Can take out life crippling amounts of student loans. Many of the older women are in support of the younger ones engaging in s*x work. But draw the line at an older man wanting a relationship with a younger lady.

To an extent, I can understanding where this jealousy comes from. Aging is weaponized against women especially in these types of spaces, ie the wall, telling them they are washed up, eggs are fried. Not very nice things to say. Add to that, men their age preferring to date younger women. Then maybe add that many women led the life they were told and didn't follow their own pursuits. Cold world we live in.

BellJar_Blues · 2023-11-12T02:03:03+00:00

Depends on her experience but that’s not usually asked and just assumed she’s jealous. Though by jealous it might be due to wanting to procreate and missing their own opportunity say if the disapproval Is from His ex

brunetteskeleton · 2023-11-12T03:10:24+00:00

I’m 21 and my partner is 37. I get the most backlash from my friends and family, who are all either married or young too. So I think it’s more trying to look out for me as opposed to jealously

PrecisionHat · 2023-11-12T06:19:46+00:00

When I was 24 I dated a man age 39, we married and we remained happy for 17 years until he died

AshySlashy3000 · 2023-11-12T06:22:21+00:00

They Were The Young Ones, Not Anymore.

no202 · 2023-11-12T06:26:19+00:00

A little bit of both I would imagine. We all want to be seen as desirable, don’t we? But we also know that older men do take advantage of younger women and their naivety.

Adept-Award-5893 · 2023-11-12T06:50:29+00:00

When I was 16 I kissed a guy that was 35. At that time he said I was "too mature for my age" and I fell for it. When I was 18, I dated a guy that was 29 for a couple months and later that year, while I was still 18 I "fell in love" with another guy that was 31. Because every guy said the same thing over and over, I really believed I was mature. I also thought I had a preference for older guys. But when I got older I realized how gross all of it was. How much these men manipulated me to get what they wanted. I am now 24 and I would never date someone younger than me. If they were 22 or 21, I would already think they're in a different phase of life than me. I carry this guilt of my past with me, even tho I know I didn't know better. But the men that took advantage of me definitely did. When I give advice to younger women I am really concerned about their safety

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2023-11-12T07:27:37+00:00

some women are concerned, some are jealous. you can usually tell by the language they use. if they ask questions about the relationship, point out potential red flags etc? more likely to be the former. compared to using generalizing shaming language and throwing around blanket statements? probably the latter, at least if they're single themselves. it can also be insecurity, i.e. concerns about being replaced by their own partner eventually and therefore wanting to invalidate the choice to date a younger woman at a moral level.

age gap relationships are not inherently predatory and you don't need a phd in social sciences to figure that one out. at the same time they obviously can be, so it depends on the relationship and the individuals involved - neither men nor women are a monolith after all. it's a huge difference whether the guy is a loser (broke, drug addict, liar etc.) compared to him being a catch (successful, attractive, looking to settle down) as well.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2023-11-12T08:19:05+00:00

Since the majority of women don't have the same visceral reaction reaction to older women dating younger men, it's because they feel threatened.

The reactions I see women have to men dating younger women is normally "what he is doing is wrong, there is clearly a power imbalance and she is getting the short end of the stick".

But when it comes to older women dating younger men it generally falls into two camps "it's fine and nothing is wrong, she just likes younger men" or "why is she with him, he is so young. Wouldn't she like a silver fox better" almost like their projecting their disgust and hatred of the thought of dating younger men into the older women.

CaliforniaCultivated · 2023-11-12T08:45:22+00:00

It would be legit concern from me. Young men are animals 😂

sorearm · 2023-11-12T10:17:59+00:00

Women are afraid of being replaced by a younger hotter model. Hence the fake concern and bitterness

oskajoerg · 2023-11-12T11:20:27+00:00

Of course it is jealousy and hate. They reflect themselves onto these younger women and see that they can never compete on that level again.

Most successful men in their 30s don't want a career woman; they want a 20-25 year old woman ready to start a family without too much baggage. The woman that are in their 30s then shame the men and try to scare the younger women away because they hope that it will make the successful men in their 30s to date them.

A successful man in his 30s knows that having a relationship with a woman in her 30s is worse than having no relationship, on average.

DXBrigade · 2023-11-12T11:28:31+00:00

Depends of the women. Some are jealous, some are concerned. I don't get why people assume that the women who criticize this type of relationship are necessarily older. Plenty of young women criticize this type of relationship.

When I was 20, I got hit on by older men and I already thought they were creepy. I guess I never saw the appeal of dating old men.

Zombombaby · 2023-11-12T14:53:37+00:00

We're just concerned for the women. It's genuinely creepy when people date specifically for age and not anything else.

the_jingster · 2023-11-12T17:49:13+00:00

For those shaming men for dating less experienced less mature less intelligent women, are you saying women should seek out men with less experience than them?

SillyMushroomTip · 2023-11-12T18:14:57+00:00

Once women hit 30 they know instinctually that its all over. Of course they get jealous, why do you think they are always calling other chicks sluts when they get all the male attention.

If women were legitimately concerned then they would be teaching their daughters to use their brain, be accountable, and dont waste their best years chasing cheap thrills. Because the one thing you hear from older women all the time is "where are all the good men gone!"

Johnfeb94 · 2023-11-12T20:44:02+00:00

Men can date younger to much younger and women generally can't as they get older. I think the power shift and female competitiveness causes a lot of jealousy and insecurity

Title	Are women jealous of guys dating younger women, or are they perhaps legitimately concerned for the women?
Author	harmonica2
Upvotes	58
Comments	384
Date	November 11, 2023 6:01 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17szwvn/are_women_jealous_of_guys_dating_younger_women_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-women-jealous-of-guys-dating-younger-women-or.1238165 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238165

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