Most young men are single. Most young women are not. Why?

8won6 · 2023-02-22T21:25:36+00:00

alot of women share men. it's the reason they think "all men cheat". They share the attractive guys with all the options.

dank_summers · 2023-02-22T17:03:02+00:00

Pretty even mix of young women dating up in age a few years and undefinied situationships where women interpret this as not single compared to the guys who do not because they have a similar arangement with a few different women.

These issues actually converge when you look at the population pyramid and now see that the west is below a replacement birth rate. That means there are more men 2-4 years older than the young women then there are men her age. And each year up in the age bracket she goes, there is a even larger population of people born that year and therefore potential men she could choose from.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2023-02-22T21:10:33+00:00

Lol another article trying to say young horny men are choosing porn over women

No, they don't have a choice for majority, it's porn or nothing lol. Choosing porn over a date with a girl? Never had a guy friend do that, but had many girl friends choose to stay single over going on dates.

jay10033 · 2023-02-22T16:41:12+00:00

"More than 60 percent of young men are single, nearly twice the rate of unattached young women, signaling a larger breakdown in the social, romantic and sexual life of the American male.

Men in their 20s are more likely than women in their 20s to be romantically uninvolved, sexually dormant, friendless and lonely. They stand at the vanguard of an epidemic of declining marriage, sexuality and relationships that afflicts all of young America."

I can't square this with the common idea out there of women who are saying they don't need men, can't find men, men ain't shit, etc... Seems the other way around.

RealAmericanWeasel · 2023-02-22T16:42:56+00:00

I don’t think there are more female same-sex couples than male. I don’t have the numbers but I would be surprised if the difference is large.

JSears90210 · 2023-02-22T16:57:00+00:00

Women have a loose definition of single. If she’s been banging only one guy but they haven’t DTR’d, she’d say “I’m seeing someone” and mark “not single.”

If a guy is banging only one girl but they haven’t DTR’d, he’d mark single.

So when Chad is banging 5 girls, all 5 of them will mark “not single” and he’ll mark “single.” So you get these bizarre results.

It’s not because women date older, since as PPD women love reminding everyone all the time, most women don’t date older. Average age gap is 3 years.

It’s just Chad harems plus women in situationships not considering themselves single.

Edit: another poster clarified the methodology. Respondents were asked if they were married, cohabitating, or in a committed romantic relationship. If they were none of the above, they were classified as “single.” Chad’s side-piece totally believes she’s in a committed romantic relationship with him so this explains it.

jason8585 · 2023-02-22T18:22:01+00:00

Or some young women say they are in a relationship and it’s really a situanship and the guy says single

qsdf321 · 2023-02-22T19:01:26+00:00

This is how you get a large group of people with no incentive to support society.

Maffioze · 2023-02-22T17:03:36+00:00

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launcelot02 · 2023-02-22T17:02:38+00:00

The younger women will date older men which gives a larger pool to choose from. Younger women don’t want to deal with younger guys because they are not as successful and established as older men.

It is absolute Hell if you are a regular younger man when dating. Women are at their peak in the sexual marketplace so they are extremely selective. These younger guys will become older, then it is their turn to snatch up the younger women. It has been this way since the beginning of human civilization.

DiamondLilyD · 2023-02-23T10:50:37+00:00

The way women define being single is different than the way men define being single. (when self-reporting single, women are reporting that they're not single when men would be)

This one.

The last guy I dated mentioned on not 'putting a label on things' but I when asked, I described myself as taken.

ManzBearzPigzIzRealz · 2023-02-22T17:10:43+00:00

Women being single = still getting laid whenever she wants, but not technically being in a relationship. On that point, when vetting for a girlfriend, don’t ask when their last relationship was, ask them when they last had sex.

Man being single = hasn’t had sex since his last relationship (unless he’s too 15% in looks and/or charisma).

LotBuilder · 2023-02-22T17:58:47+00:00

Men know they are single, many women like to convince themselves they are not. I am single but there may or may not be a few ladies that have convinced themselves we are dating despite being clear from the start. Valentines was a like dodging land mines.

If you have not met his family and are not posted regularly and clearly on his social media, you are not dating

TetsuoTamayaka · 2023-02-23T05:29:56+00:00

Because the women are sharing Chad

daddysgotanew · 2023-02-22T19:13:12+00:00

Women are sharing. Whether they know it or not.

SillyMushroomTip · 2023-02-22T17:23:49+00:00

Women are never actually single. She either got a string of male friends orbiting her or shes hooking up with someone with no label.

Men between the ages of 18-30 are literally in a dessert of no attention. Society don't love them and if they aint making a boot load of money and flexing it on social media then your literally garbage.

Happy-Jellyfish-1777 · 2023-02-22T16:49:56+00:00

Women would rather be single, date guys much older than them or share the top 36% than date the bottom 2/3 of young men. It's that simple.

NockerJoe · 2023-02-22T16:43:23+00:00

Theres like a 5% difference in birth rates by gender, men just happen to die younger. But even factoring that in thats not nearly enough to explain it. I've definitley been in situatioms where the girl thought it was more serious than I did, but I can't tell you how common that is either. I also don't really think Polyamory is big rnough or leans one way enough to make a big deal.

Theres probably a bunch of contributing factors that all kind of lean one way enough for this to be the issue

SoldierExcelsior · 2023-02-22T22:42:43+00:00

Most people can buy a bicycle most people cannot buy a Ferrari..

The price to obtain a woman is much higher than the price to obtain a man..The price to maintain a woman is higher than the cost to maintain a man.

What men want from a woman she's born with what women want from a man they have to aquire...

Men find a higher percentage of women sexually attractive than women find men so there for women have an abundance of choices where'as most men have few options...

If there's 10 men and 10 women 8 of the women will choose only 3 of the men.the remaining two women won't choose any man.

It's inevitable many men will be single under the current relationship dynamics..

average men cannot compete with the multi millionaires and celebs average women have acess to now

prizefighterstudent · 2023-02-22T18:50:59+00:00

Women will always have options just by showing up. Same can't be said for men. Not that difficult to understand.

Cuthbert-Binns · 2023-02-22T22:22:13+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rickjames334 · 2023-02-22T17:09:29+00:00

This has a lot to do with the fact that women seek out relationships more often than men because relationships benefit women far more than men, especially financially

cultlikefigure · 2023-02-22T21:27:33+00:00

LGBT is prob my most accurate guess. Most of my female friends in highschool solely dated men and were ‘straight’ before coming out, and almost all are now dating women or transgenders. My best guess is how shit their experience with men were and they decided to find love regardless the attraction or emphasis of gender.

honeycall · 2023-02-23T07:39:50+00:00

It’s cuz women are picky

FlexodusPrime · 2023-02-23T01:05:45+00:00

Because a majority of women have options to choose from. The majority of men are invisible. The 80/20 thing basically.

Round-Relative-7859 · 2023-02-22T17:10:18+00:00

Polyamory is very common among chads. AKA the 80/20 thing again. Top X% of men are sharing a bunch of women.

This is not accurate. Chads are more likely to be polygamous, but not polyamory in the sense people thing of groups of people having sex with other groups of people.

In fact, do this experiment: Search for polyamory and couples in articles. Look how hideous they all look. Usually a cow looking woman with a lot of disgusting men around.

Women also usually don't jump from chad to chad, they usually "stick" to one for a few months while chad is free fucking other women.

Academic-Tone-3093 · 2023-02-22T17:32:01+00:00

Several explanations.

More women are comfortable coming out as LGBT and are dating within their gender (whereas men are not because of norms governing masculinity have not changed…yet).
Women date older men, which does not explain this fully because there are still more single men than single women across multitude of age ranges.
Women are not truthful with posters when they say they are “not single”. “Not single” could mean anything, from meeting on another person for three dates but believing this person has potential to “being in a relationship with yourself.”

I think Japan mirrors where we are heading.

Teflon08191 · 2023-02-22T18:24:17+00:00

All of the above, with the addition of younger women diving head first into sugar babying for older men.

Aromatic_Shop9033 · 2023-02-22T22:02:21+00:00

Most of those women are sharing the same men.

iliyb · 2023-02-22T16:50:49+00:00

Polyamory is very common among chads

Lol no it isn't have you seen the people who participate polyamory? Chad cheats like a normal person.

gate18 · 2023-02-22T23:55:41+00:00

Mind vs. matter

Societal changes that began in the Eisenhower years have eroded the patriarchy that once ruled the American home, classroom and workplace.

The above quote is the matter.

Whereas what people tell men are delusions.

This entire sub tells men that women want men that are better, smarter, and more successful than women. Yet

Women now collect nearly 60 percent of bachelor’s degrees.

They might just want to date the 40 percent that share the same experience as them.

But surely not. Women are just sluts, says the mentality of the eroded patriarchy.

“Women don’t need to be in long-term relationships. They don’t need to be married. They’d rather go to brunch with friends than have a horrible date,” said Greg Matos, a couple and family psychologist in Los Angeles, who recently penned a viral article titled “What’s Behind the Rise of Lonely, Single Men.”

Greg Matos must be a feminazi, because it's the "80/20 thing again" you know /s

Nearly half of all young adults are single: 34 percent of women, and a whopping 63 percent of men. ... Around 30 percent of young men reported in 2019 that they had no sex in the past year, compared to about 20 percent of young women. ... Young women “may not be dating, but they have girlfriends they spend time with and gain emotional support from.”

Those 34% as sluts that don't want to lower their standards, whereas the 63% are innocent victims /s

If single young men outnumber single young women nearly two to one, then who are all the young women dating? Some of them are dating each other. One-fifth of Generation Z identifies as queer, and research suggests bisexual women make up a large share of the young-adult queer community.

Nah, it "80/20 thing again"

Women are tiring of their stereotypical role as full-time therapist for emotionally distant men. They want a partner who is emotionally open and empathetic, the opposite of the age-old masculine ideal.

If Tate wasn't in prison they would not say this shit /s

ThorLives · 2023-02-23T06:09:42+00:00

Younger women are dating older men. (I find this one interesting cause single men are still *more common at any age*)

That isn't actually true. Single women become more common than single men beginning around age 50. There's an interesting graph about this:

Among men and women in their 20s, there are more single men than women: https://jonathansoma.com/singles/images/20-29-relative.png

The chart completely flips when you look at people in their 50s - most single people in their 50s are women: https://jonathansoma.com/singles/images/50-59-relative.png

It's roughly equal among people in their 40s: https://jonathansoma.com/singles/images/40-49-relative.png

BigOleGreenTrees · 2023-02-22T16:59:13+00:00

From the article you posted a professor who studies masculinity says:

Young men “are watching a lot of social media, they’re watching a lot of porn, and I think they’re getting a lot of their needs met without having to go out. And I think that’s starting to be a habit.”

I'd say it's a combination of isolation fucking with men's social skills, chads cheating on multiple girlfriends, and women generally being okay dating older. Add that 25% LGBT group and I think it all adds up.

RealAmericanWeasel · 2023-02-22T17:26:19+00:00

Lack of opportunities. Opportunities.

Safinated · 2023-02-22T17:38:55+00:00

All available data supports the assumption that the oldest women in the younger group are marrying the youngest men in the next oldest age group.

The average age of first marriages is late 20s for women and early 30s for men, with most women being 2-3 years younger than their marriage partners. So that age 29 cutoff is important

I do not believe that polyamory/open relationships and cheating are a factor. Larger age gaps are probably skewing it some, but not as much as normal gaps

DepartmentCertain987 · 2023-02-22T17:14:16+00:00

Hypergamy. 80% of all girls are dating 20% of all guys because women’s standards for men’s physical attractiveness have gone up to ridiculous levels. It’s especially bad with gen z women.

obviousredflag · 2023-02-22T17:10:18+00:00

Define "single", because men and women as well as statisticians often have a very different understanding of what single means. That's like asking about sexual partners and some people include oral-only encounters and some don't.

AidsVictim · 2023-02-22T17:00:09+00:00

- Polyamory is very common among chads. AKA the 80/20 thing again. Top X% of men are sharing a bunch of women.

Probably contributes to a degree. It doesn't take that many men dating multiple women to distort the dating market.

- Being part of LGBT is more common with women and therefore women are dating other women more often than men dating men now.

I suspect a lot of these women are just "paper" bisexuals and at least some of it is cover for women who are essentially asexual but see that as less socially acceptable than being bi/gay, although I've seen the same trend emerging for men to a lesser degree. Frankly a lot of the growth of this is probably just zoomer sexual-social dysfunction where they don't want to interact with the opposite sex.

- Younger women are dating older men. (I find this one interesting cause single men are still *more common at any age*)

Like you say this doesn't really make sense when you look at the relative single rates across age groups, it has an effect but it's more marginal than is implied.

- The way women define being single is different than the way men define being single. (when self-reporting single, women are reporting that they're not single when men would be)

Probably although I think this is essentially the same category as the polyamory deal - men with options and women who are pretending they're not just pussy option #4.

One thing not mentioned that plays a large role is the natural asymmetric birth rates and lowering of male mortality combined with male dominated immigration creating a large "surplus" of men especially in the younger age groups. It's worth noting that women consistently vote for and support immigration to a larger degree than men and benefit more from it (in social-sexual options and economically).

WowYouMustBeJoking · 2023-02-22T21:31:53+00:00

There's no need for any complicated theories. The answer is that young women date older men. That's why in 20-29 bracket there's not enough women for all men.

analt223 · 2023-02-22T17:39:01+00:00

Its a bunch of things.

Women are increasingly bisexual/lesbian. There are still more gay males than lesbian women, but bisexual + lesbian women is larger than bisexual + gay males. Also about 30 to 35% of girls under 40 are identifying as lgbt, thats not the case for males. You can say "well some men are afraid to come out", eh i disagree. I think that is moreso people who say that have this radical obsession with 50/50 ratios everywhere.
Women give up more in sex, since their body is altered. They view relationships with men as "he better bring something to the table, I'm bringing my vagina". Sadly this mentality women have cant coexist with feminism, because it then causes men to go out into the world and do shit, which feminists then complain about the economy not working for women. Some women pair up with older men who might be more established. Yes most women aren't dating guys 15 years old than them, but way more women are doing that than men are, which skews things somewhat.
Women just arent that interested. When almost all young women are leftist, and almost all of them love these articles on left wing websites ("Dont talk to me at the gym, im here to workout!", "Dont talk to me at the coffee shop, I'm here to work on my side projects!", "Dont talk to me at the workplace, I'm here to work on my CAREER!") are basically saying I dont want to get to know you, fuck off.
There are more males in the world than women at younger ages. The reason why women are 51% of the USA or whatever is because of SENIOR CITIZENS. If you want to date some 85 year old be my guest, try the gray stuff its delicious (LOLOLOL). Almost every major city in the USA has more males aged 18 to 50 than women.

moosemc · 2023-02-22T18:14:38+00:00

Or...people are lying.

bison5595 · 2023-02-22T22:43:22+00:00

What’s the race and age breakout?

RidingRedHare · 2023-02-23T01:18:50+00:00

Do not trust any statistics you did not fake yourself.

Fuccyourwants69 · 2023-02-23T01:34:00+00:00

Because pursuing bitter, entitled women is not worth the trouble.

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-02-23T12:01:28+00:00

Changing society i.e. social media etc

muhname · 2023-02-24T02:53:01+00:00

Women could stop hating men for starters. When I'd talk to my ex it was like I had to answer for what dozens of other men had done to her over the years. If I expected anything it was an absolute no and we spent so much time discussing what I had to learn, what I had to change. They want an accessory to their life. They want to be a bride and not a wife, my gf admitted this to me when I asked her. She loves me I guess, but I walked away from the relationship because there was no evidence she would ever change her behavior. She was bitter at men for things that happened in generations that preceded us. I don't know what to do with that. It seemed she was incapable of empathy for men. Her situation is terrible and I have empathy for her in that the older she gets the fewer romantic options she has. She wanted to be a mother and it doesn't seem likely at this time. I feel bad, but she wouldn't change her behavior with men. She didn't care about their desires and she was very upfront about it, like I said resentful for what happened with women in the past. She would frequently tell me that 80-85% of men are unattractive and that I was one of the few attractive men out there.

MasterTeacher123 · 2023-02-22T20:41:10+00:00

The only “happy” women(and people in general) I know are smashing someone on a regular basis

ShoCkEpic · 2023-02-23T02:46:49+00:00

everything is falling into place

WildWook · 2023-02-22T18:37:20+00:00

It's the 80/20. Women are much more selective of mates than men. Men have a much larger range of what is attractive to them. Women are focusing on a very narrow range for relationships. Social media is probably the main culprit. It's not healthy to dwell on the positives/negatives of this, but I think young men need to figure something out. I've been married for a long time now, I don't even know what it's like out there. I will say this: it doesn't look good.

Different_Weekend817 · 2023-02-22T18:23:18+00:00

christ, that blog post starts off with a whole lot of poor assumptions, trying to make single young men sound all poor and lonely and suicidal and the decline of civilisation. meanwhile, the research showed only half of young single men are even looking to date - the other half of that 60% are enjoying being single and have other priorities. for convinence, see below:

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/

also, the definition of 'single' here is simply not in a committed relationship (see link above). in other words, lots of 'single' men in this survey are indeed dating - being young and picking up chicks; they aren't necessarily alone. why are they casually dating? cuz there's no pressure to settle down like there was in past generations. no, adults don't 'grow up' as fast as they did before; they're even moving out of their parents' homes at an older age. no wonder they aren't in a serious relationship; and who wants to fuck a man with his parents in the next room.

AcanthocephalaNew947 · 2023-02-22T16:58:41+00:00

A significant chunk of men in their 20’s don’t want to settle down.

Can we stop pretending? you have unsuccessful men in the manosphere circles who are desperate to settle down due to lack of opportunity to play the field, so those with the ability to not settle down in their 20’s tend to not settle down.

I’m not saying sexually successful men don’t marry young of course they do theres just a decent chunk who don’t.

They’re the ones who will have a woman thinking she’s into something more serious, hell the man may even be playing the role of boyfriend, but if you ask he’s going to deny it because it’s not desirable for young men.

It’s really not that complex, I don’t think, I really just think young men don’t want to consider themselves as tied down even though behind closed doors they’re playing that role.

puririnpa · 2023-02-22T17:02:06+00:00

Younger women are dating older men. (I find this one interesting cause single men are still *more common at any age*)

there's just more men under 50 then women, no one's pointing the elephant in the room.

Weird_Slice4439 · 2023-02-22T19:35:06+00:00

Do you think a girl would rather hang out in a dorm room drinking cheap beer, or be drinking non-boxed wine in an established man's Infinity pool?

Barneysparky · 2023-02-23T01:28:47+00:00

Before I met my husband I dated a couple of guys in a FWBs way. No future together but they were my sexual partner while dating.

I would have said I was in a relationship, because that is a relationship. Whether they would or not I'm not sure. I do know both told me right away when they met someone they could potentially have a lifetime with and I was invited to one of their weddings.

-AvatarAang- · 2023-02-23T03:02:22+00:00

Can anyone tell me if they have firsthand or secondhand knowledge of the phenomenon referenced in OP, whereby 80% of women "share" the top 20% of men? We can term this as the "harem hypothesis", for short.

The idea of that phenomenon being true absolutely depresses me, and I'm hoping it's just a narrative fabricated by male insecurity rather than something actually occurring within society.

louloublueyes20 · 2023-02-22T20:54:20+00:00

Maybe some men aren't really being honest and they really aren't single but just say they are...🤷‍♀️. Goes either way. I would like to say my son has told me that because of what he has seen me go through he has a hard time wanting to trust people. I feel like there are so many factors.

I have learned this I would rather have a partner I bicker with and willing to make things work than a silent one that decides nope it's not for them. ( it's traumatic because you are left with what did I do.) So being single and more picky about whom you want to share your space and future with is important.

And women could just be saying they aren't single because they are dating themselves... taking care of themselves.

FlyV89 · 2023-02-22T16:52:21+00:00

Twice as much?

I mean... For sure? How is that even possible, considering the gender ratio is roughly 1:1 male to female?

For the record, I'm not looking at WHY is happening, and I accept the idea that It may happen because of a platitude of reassons, from men being unfit for relationships, men sucking at dating, women not wanting to be in a relationship, whatever...

I'm wondering HOW IT IS POSSIBLE to have double the amount of single men than women, when numbers for each gender re roughly similar.

Someone is lying, both are lying, relationships mean different things for women than it means for men (weird) or women are sleeping with a bunch of dudes? What else?

Moon-on-my-mind · 2023-02-23T03:36:57+00:00

My theory is that women are starting to be fed up by men's bullshit so single life looks much better and relaxing. As an example all I'd need is my cat a glass, a glass of my favorite drink, a long bubble bath, chilling at home in peace and quiet and then spending rest of my free time gaming with my online friends who are amazing. I do not desire kids, and for sexual desires i have toys that do the most better job any man in my life ever did. To me, that's how peaceful heaven looks like. I long for that every day.

Sometimes the answer is not as pretty as a certain demographic would hope it will be.

Willow-girl · 2023-02-22T17:06:28+00:00

It's a numbers game, but the advantage flips as time goes on. Consider:

An 20-year-old woman may be open to dating men from about 18 to ... there really is no upward limit, if the guy is attractive enough. Sure, an Anna Nicole situation is rare, but it's not uncommon for young women to have a one-night-stand, arrangement or even relationship with a significantly older man.

For the 20-year-old man, his range is probably more limited, and any relationship he has with a much older woman is likely to be fleeting. You do not see 20-year-old men marrying 45-year-old women very often.

But wait! Things change as women age. Women generally prefer men their own age or slightly older, so as they chronologically advance, their range shrinks. A 45-year-old woman probably wants a partner aged 40 to 50, but her male counterpart's range is probably much wider, perhaps 25 years instead of 10. He would be tickled to frolic with a 20-year-old girl!

nicoleberry16 · 2023-02-22T17:23:05+00:00

Idk but if I was to guess it's because we don't find most guys attractive (honestly). Like I don't see most guys in a romantic/sexual light, most of my reactions to guys are either neutral, nonsexual, or (in some worse cases) disgust. For me, getting a boyfriend or date wasn't really that hard, don't know about other women's experiences here but feel free to share.

Also could be because Im bi, speaking of which Ive noticed a lot of my friends and female classmates are bi/lesbian too. I guess our preferences can be a lot more "fluid" so to speak...

jingle_ofadogscollar · 2023-02-23T00:13:31+00:00

Any young man who is fit, well dressed and can pay his own way in life will never, ever have trouble dating

ProfessorFelix0812 · 2023-02-23T02:54:55+00:00

This is what happens when grown men spend all their time living in their parents’ basement, playing Call of Duty, getting stoned, and surfing stepmother porn…

…when they were supposed to be building a career and learning how to interact with the opposite sex.

ManWazo · 2023-02-22T17:23:08+00:00

All your explanations are plausible except :

Polyamory is very common among chads. AKA the 80/20 thing again. Top X% of men are sharing a bunch of women.

Most men in polyamory circles are average or under average. There are a few chads but they don't have more partners on average than the other people (when would they find time anyway?).

NittyGrittyDiscutant · 2023-02-22T17:32:22+00:00

My take on this. Women are looking for deeper motives, usually and need different motivation for forming relationship. Men can fake whole relationship, including marriage, only for sex.

They just lack motivation, they usually need to invest more time into knowing person because biologically relationship for them is a huge investment, having babies means raising them, they can't just spread the semen and disappear. And I think even if rationally looking only for sex doesn't carry such risks nowadays, there are still some subconscious factors.

But this is only my suspicion, not supported by known to me articles.

So that would mean they need to work more even just for having sex.

Situtation would maybe be different if cultural standards were different.

As a conclusion, women are more passive then men, who not only need to make effort toward women, but also fight with each other. Add this to bigger count of men and you have classical support and demand market situation.

Round-Relative-7859 · 2023-02-22T16:59:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Wrong_Guitar6549 · 2023-02-25T16:55:10+00:00

Over 70% of American males are overweight or obese… want me to go further?

Title	Most young men are single. Most young women are not. Why?
Author	xzpw
Upvotes	267
Comments	479
Date	February 22, 2023 4:30 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/119450r/most_young_men_are_single_most_young_women_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/most-young-men-are-single-most-young-women-are-not.1153746 https://theredarchive.com/post/1153746

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