Q4M - an average looking girl is DESPERATE to date you. How do you feel about it?

jaypb182 · 2023-08-09T07:06:05+00:00

Does her desperation reduce her attractiveness?

Not really. I'd be a bit suspicious about it, as if it may be a prank or something. But if it's genuine it would be a turn on for me.

asdf333aza · 2023-08-09T07:01:03+00:00

The only thing offsetting to most guys here is they would be "wondering why she wants me so badly" most guys are used to ZERO attention from girls, so having an average one want them is new to them.

Most guys would love it.

tired_hillbilly · 2023-08-09T06:11:52+00:00

I'd be thrilled.

keebydee · 2023-08-09T06:14:14+00:00

No tats, nose piercings

No tats and nose piercings, you say? 👀

Laughs at all your jokes no matter what. Buys YOU stuff. All signs say she reeks of desperation. How would you feel about that? Does her desperation reduce her attractiveness?

How would I feel? Flattered and ecstatic! Of course I'd date her. Aside from laughing at my jokes no matter what, her desperation doesn't reduce her attractiveness overall. Cancels her plans with her friends just to be with me AND buys me stuff?! Sounds like an keeper. That's someone I would definitely buy stuff for and cancel plans with friends for too.

Edit: Like someone else said, I would think it's a trick at first too. All of this sounds way too good to be true. Cancels plans with friends? Come on, there has to be a catch.

ksmigrod · 2023-08-09T06:12:21+00:00

It does not affect attractiveness, but it raises huge red flag (crazy???).

tendrils87 · 2023-08-09T06:38:12+00:00

I'm not getting love bombed by some BPD chick.

Street_Journalist_83 · 2023-08-09T06:40:15+00:00

Sorry this post made me laugh simply as if featured “appropriate BMI” 😅😅😅😅

stoelguus · 2023-08-09T10:09:25+00:00

What universe is this?

grown_folks_talkin · 2023-08-09T07:25:02+00:00

Desperation decreasing attractiveness? No. It's not unsettling to be somebody's type. If it's too intense it could be love-bombing which is a red flag.

Had experiences somewhat like this whose looks didn't blow me away but were sane and very impressive in other ways. If they had caught me a bit earlier things could've popped off. Have to believe it's worth shooting their shot based on the odds.

domdomdom333 · 2023-08-09T09:58:33+00:00

When you mean desperate you don't mean obsessive. Obsessive is too much in the controlling type, but making you the nr 1 priority on its own doesn't seem too bad as long as the rest of the things in her life aren't suffering because of me like her relationships with her friends and family.

Workaholiconew · 2023-08-09T15:17:28+00:00

"Not again"...

Jokes aside... I would be suspicious a lot as women never do anything for their own benefit let alone of others... but if she did it anyway...

I guess I would date her. I actuall ydid it once way back in my teenage years but now I am 3p and there are some bad implications but I guess I would just date her to see how it goes, it is not like she will refuse giving me the sex I need right?

Desperation doesnt decrease attractiveness. It increases suspicion.

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-08-09T06:36:51+00:00

She desperately wants to date you

I’ve always entertained women, that have shown interest in me. Even if it only ends in friendship. As one who’s quite forward as well, I weigh a similar enthusiasm in others highly.

Godspeed and good luck!

csynk · 2023-08-09T06:55:20+00:00

If she is doing a lot of love bombing I would run the other way. I dealt with that with my ex and it was a shitty experience. These women are mentally unstable.

Maractop · 2023-08-09T08:10:23+00:00

That would be the dream ngl lol. I would date her. It sounds nice tbh. It seems like she actually likes and values me. What about this shows desperation? Her enthusiasm?

Teflon08191 · 2023-08-09T08:23:50+00:00

"What horrifying character flaws must this seemingly average woman hide that she would feel any sense of desperation to get a man to date her?"

DzejSiDi · 2023-08-09T11:02:28+00:00

She desperately wants to date you. She will cancel any plans with her friends to make herself available for you. Laughs at all your jokes no matter what. Buys YOU stuff. All signs say she reeks of desperation...

This doesnt sound exactly like "desperation", more like "she acts like she's extremally heavy into you". Or maybe she even is... or that's just some kind of lovebombing, to catch somebody, out of desperation. Hard to say for me.

That feeds male ego overall and IMO most men would pick normal/average girl super into you over attractive one with "eh, maybe?" attitude.

Things change if she's unatractive, you cannot negotiate attraction with more effort.

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2023-08-09T08:02:15+00:00

I'd like it. It's better to be with someone that wants to be with you than someone that will only accept you.

Fast_Rest5421 · 2023-08-09T08:19:22+00:00

Give me her number, I’ll marry her lol

caption291 · 2023-08-09T06:55:09+00:00

The main "problem" is that it would seem too good to be true...and maybe having to live up to whatever she sees me as would be too much pressure.

But if I can confirm over time that it's not a trap/mental health issue thing and she doesn't expect me to be something I'm not...that would make her more attractive not less.

mitigated-disaster · 2023-08-09T06:28:22+00:00

I'd be cautious of her intentions but provided they are 'pure' I'd be happy about it.

nonplussedminus · 2023-08-09T06:28:38+00:00

Paicogg88 · 2023-08-09T07:53:51+00:00

I would feel flattered

Late_Hotel3404 · 2023-08-09T06:45:29+00:00

No. I’d be up for it.

Why? Is this a gotcha or something?

Lovers691 · 2023-08-09T06:54:40+00:00

Would she act more normal when I am dating her? Also no, my attraction to her wouldn't be reduced

wonderlandis · 2023-08-09T08:19:36+00:00

NEED

daddysgotanew · 2023-08-09T11:32:12+00:00

Not at all. I love when women are completely attracted to me

webernicke · 2023-08-09T11:43:31+00:00

How would you feel about that?

Flattered!

Does her desperation reduce her attractiveness?

Nope!

She desperately wants to date you. She will cancel any plans with her friends to make herself available for you. Laughs at all your jokes no matter what. Buys YOU stuff. All signs say she reeks of desperation

None of this would do it. She would have to do some extreme, psycho, Overly Attached Girlfriend shit to weird me out. Like getting a tattoo or building a shrine of me like Helga or something.

FizzleMateriel · 2023-08-09T13:01:00+00:00

How would you feel about that? Does her desperation reduce her attractiveness?

I would get really suspicious tbh. I’ve had girls pay for drinks/food.

But I’ve never met any girl in my life who’s cancelled other plans just to see me.

Rhinosaur666 · 2023-08-09T15:10:36+00:00

What every man here is secretly thinking: I wouldn't want to be part of a club that would have me as a member. In your example it will translate to: if a girl is desperate enough to date a loser like me, she must be an even bigger loser than I am. Ain't no way I'm fucking that.

Firm_Shirt_2553 · 2023-08-10T00:57:42+00:00

Doesn't reduce her attractiveness, but does make me a bit suspicious.

81ack_Mamba · 2023-08-10T00:58:50+00:00

I would be initially skeptical as to why she's so desperate to date me in my particular but if it doesn't turn out to be anything bad then I wouldn't care, in fact I'd be flattered and appreciate the attention

Fun_Push7168 · 2023-08-09T11:34:39+00:00

Got it. Best GF ever. Only trick was she was fat until about 25 so no inflated ego.

Funny part is that

Sometimes buys you things,

Is excited

will change plans to be with you

Normal things when someone actually likes you, are considered desperate. That's telling.

TheGreatBeefSupreme · 2023-08-09T09:44:52+00:00

Flattered as hell.

Treacle-Flimsy · 2023-08-09T08:03:24+00:00

Ngl I would be weirded out. It's so uncommon it will be weird to me

djmedicalman · 2023-08-09T10:06:01+00:00

There's a short story called The Chaser that has a premise very similar to this. They also made a Twilight Zone episode based on it.

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-08-09T10:09:57+00:00

As someone who doesn't date or do relationships I would politely reject her in the nicest possible way.

thedarkracer · 2023-08-09T11:56:54+00:00

I am pretty sure it would be a dream or a hidden motive.

Dissentient · 2023-08-09T12:01:55+00:00

It would make me want to check if she's a menhera or something. If it's not a result of BPD or something else, someone being enthusiastically into me would be a good thing.

That being said, all other dealbreakers still apply. If she's a normie with no interests, wants children, or doesn't have her shit together, I wouldn't want to date her.

UEMcGill · 2023-08-09T13:07:45+00:00

Hell I think no tats, face piercings no blue hair and a healthy BMI would make her stand out above average from the start.

cmvmania · 2023-08-09T13:19:10+00:00

As a dude, as long as she's not ugly and more on the pretty cute side, I'd love it. Because this never happens to you unless you're some celebrity or a good looking dude yourself.

GentlemenGeek · 2023-08-09T13:40:08+00:00

Smash........next!

Garfish16 · 2023-08-09T14:05:23+00:00

Flattered, suspicious, and almost certainly somewhat interested.

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2023-08-09T14:05:55+00:00

Absolutely not, the more obsessed the better. Men are not like women. We like when women are obsessed with us.

HODL_monk · 2023-08-09T14:30:09+00:00

I would be very suspicious. There are a lot of romance scams out there, and my friend was conned by a Russian mail order bride that pretended to be local, until she roped him in. It was apparently unnaturally lovey dovey on her part, until she got here and had a kid, then it was divorce rape time. Its classic 'if it seems too good to be true, it probably is'. An average woman should not be very 'thirsty', if she is, that is a red flag, guys.

Ohmaygahh · 2023-08-09T14:39:48+00:00

I think we have a confusion of descriptive words. Women are so trigger happy to call any interest from men as "desperate", most of what I've seen, read, done myself ... I would simply call eager, keen, with a sense of some urgency.

Women have next to ZERO urgency in making anything happen with a man. So I guess the question is, why do women feel/show no exigency in attraction/sex with a man?

Spaciousone · 2023-08-09T14:59:19+00:00

Ok what here number I’d date her

M3taBuster · 2023-08-09T15:58:42+00:00

I would be absolutely fucking thrilled.

Does her desperation reduce her attractiveness?

Well first of all, I wouldn't automatically interpret this as "desperation". I would just think "Oh, she's really into me and enthusiastic about spending time with me. Sweet!". And no, it doesn't reduce her attractiveness at all. If anything it greatly increases it.

Being attracted to unavailability is almost purely a woman thing. When women worry that being "too available" will turn a guy off, that is them mistakenly projecting female sexuality onto men. Men want women to worship them. For better or worse.

TheHammer987 · 2023-08-09T17:59:24+00:00

Would depend on my existing relationship with her, and if I enjoyed the time with her. Like, her being interested is nice, but - do I enjoy spending time with her?'

Lonzo1x · 2023-08-09T18:07:08+00:00

Not at all! A woman's personality and attitude is the most important factor.

lololololROFL · 2023-08-09T19:55:58+00:00

I would be over the moon

reignoferror00 · 2023-08-09T20:54:23+00:00

No tats, nose piercings, or dyed hair??? These days with anyone my age or younger that would be unusual and above average.

I'd be wary, because I know there are several catches hidden somewhere. The questions are what are the catches - will they effect me and do they matter much to me.

No, her 'desperation' if anything increases her attractiveness. Any attraction towards me will automatically increase my attraction to her at least a bit. Take it while it lasts because odds are great her attraction won't last long.

Da_Famous_Anus · 2023-08-09T22:19:39+00:00

Does her desperation reduce her attractiveness?

Hell no. Who doesn't want to be liked?

Only women have the luxury to complain about a guy liking her 'too much'

This is a ridiculous question. I'm well above average myself and I would love to meet an average (not fat) woman who is enthusiastic about dating me.

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-08-10T00:13:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Cool_Ranch_2511 · 2023-08-10T01:01:34+00:00

It depends. Is she attracted because I'm a very attractive guy who has tons of better options in this hypothetical, or just myself as an average guy? Assuming just myself, this has happened a few times and it led to relationships.

Hellboundforpeace · 2023-08-10T02:29:44+00:00

Out of curiosity, what is the purpose of this question? I assumed that it was to make men realize how unattractive desperation is by flipping the script. If so then the tread really proved that some things don't go both ways.

funnystor · 2023-08-10T03:36:31+00:00

Does her desperation reduce her attractiveness?

Is she willing to take "no" for an answer? Because if not, yeah that's a huge turnoff. She might try to baby trap you or otherwise abuse you to stop you from leaving.

If she's happy to take "no" for an answer, then of course it's flattering and if there is compatibility could even lead somewhere.

mbh63 · 2023-08-10T04:54:38+00:00

Been waiting for this to happen literally my entire life…

CosmicBioHazard · 2023-08-10T04:54:58+00:00

It would depend on one factor: N count.

Because I’ve had an average-looking, below average even, girl desperate to date me and I turned her down solely because of that.

Average in terms of looks is perfect. I basically perceive 6s as 10s. desperation can be an obvious red flag though; like when someone with a sky-high n claims to be in love with me I take it about as seriously as a fortune teller. When it seems genuine I like it.

AMDisappointment · 2023-08-10T05:43:51+00:00

She's a 5? But then with make up, working out and better fashion she could be a 7. Hell yes. She could be wifey material.

KingWhoCared86 · 2023-08-10T17:31:57+00:00

I guess I’m getting married now.

macone235 · 2023-08-09T06:56:04+00:00

How would you feel about that? Does her desperation reduce her attractiveness?

No, I like clingy desperate women more than attractive women in my experience as long as they don't try to stab me, and understand I have shit I need to do away from her.

Dating an attractive woman is typically like dating a statue. They're nice to look at and parade around, but they don't really do anything.

My preference would be a mix of both so above average, but I don't mind dating an average girl, or even an uglier girl if we vibed.

MarBitt · 2023-08-09T08:30:41+00:00

she's of average height. Appropriate BMI Not stunning, but not ugly Plain Jane face, nothing crazy going on No tats, nose piercings, dyed hair, shaved head - none of that. Just a very run of the mill girl.

Am I physically attracted to her enough to be willing to start a relationship with her? If so, that's enough. If not, bye.

She desperately wants to date you. She will cancel any plans with her friends to make herself available for you. Laughs at all your jokes no matter what. Buys YOU stuff.

Canceling plans to be with me will seem like a sign that she prioritizes what she wants over following plans.

Does she laugh at all my jokes? I consider myself funny and have an inflated ego, so I'll be thrilled, plus it means she got them!

She buys me things is a sign that she is generous and likes to give gifts.This is quite a rare character trait in women when dating, many women just expect gifts, so if she actively gives them from the beginning, it's a bonus.

All signs say she reeks of desperation...

From your examples, I'm not sure if you're writing about a woman suffering from despair or just a woman who wants a good man, isn't afraid to show it, and doesn't hesitate to actively pursue him.

It seems desirable to me if a woman considers serious romantic relationships important. A damsel in distress is not ideal, but less of a problem than a "strong and independent which does not need a man". I know how important a good woman can be in my life, getting her is a life win and there's no point in pretending it's not true. It's okay for a woman to want a man too. It's a sign of maturity when she's not afraid to show her weaknesses.

If I noticed some deep insecurity, desperation, lack of self-love, a tendency to jump from relationship to relationship out of fear of being alone... well, that would depend on the specific circumstances. I don't expect all people to be perfect in every way, but also I don't have so big savior complex to enter a relationship expecting to be a therapist rather than a partner. The relationship must be giving me something.

ryandiy · 2023-08-09T09:47:59+00:00

If she brings that enthusiasm to the bedroom, then sign me up

wtknight · 2023-08-09T10:26:10+00:00

I think that this is great. I might not be attracted to her for other reasons than her desperation, though. I'd still likely be friends with her even if I wasn't attracted to her unless she started doing stalker-like stuff.

What I wouldn't do is use her for sex, of course. Too many guys are willing to be unethical about this.

Jonesw16 · 2023-08-09T10:32:15+00:00

Average women are great! You'd never hear the same reversed. I'd be thrilled.

DrBoby · 2023-08-09T10:43:24+00:00

I only date that. Do other men date women that won't cancel plans, don't laugh at their jokes and don't buy them stuff ?

LaTableEstBasse · 2023-08-09T10:59:33+00:00

Nothing more beautiful than genuine attraction.

Makes any girl way more attractive.

AreOut · 2023-08-09T06:50:40+00:00

"Appropriate BMI Not stunning, but not ugly Plain Jane face, nothing crazy going on No tats, nose piercings, dyed hair, shaved head - none of that. Just a very run of the mill girl."

well that's actually what most men desire(at least for a LTR)

Sad_Top1743 · 2023-08-09T06:14:47+00:00

Would be very flattering but I’d think it was a trick or something… like she wanted to steal my kidneys lol

But I still probably wouldn’t date her if she was average American BMI, perhaps European BMI. I’m above average in fitness myself

peteypete78 · 2023-08-09T06:32:55+00:00

So a female simp?

For her to get to that point we would have to be friends no? so I would have decided if I was attracted to her before this.

If I was attracted I would have asked her out before it escalated to this.

Odd-Luck7658 · 2023-08-09T09:31:24+00:00

A woman who wants you is exactly what you are looking for.

Tricky_Relief_7152 · 2023-08-09T09:51:31+00:00

I find most women attractive, so long as they aren't fat.

When women look at men, they look at the things they dislike.

When men look at women, we look at the things we like.

ElbowStrike · 2023-08-09T10:58:27+00:00

Best day ever

Nihi1986 · 2023-08-09T11:06:00+00:00

I'd feel lucky?

Edit: playing hard to get and making everything more subtle triggers more attraction, but in the end, the relationship will be the result of your real personalities, experience and compatibility.

By making it so obvious, she's saving me time and drama, and boosting my confidence.

If I'm not interested, though, she's being creepy and annoying.

abaxeron · 2023-08-09T11:38:53+00:00

The only problematic part of this scenario I can imagine:

Other women start noticing you. You start noticing them noticing. She starts noticing you noticing them noticing.

Ordinary-Reply2704 · 2023-08-09T12:39:46+00:00

Decent face and not fat you say? No tats or piercings. You realize this is the dream woman for most guys and she’s hard to find.

No-Rough-7390 · 2023-08-09T12:54:36+00:00

Genuine desire is a red flag now? Jesus Christ. Not you, OP, but some of the comments.

This is what you should be looking for, fellas. Then wait to commit so you know for sure she’s not BPD lol.

Purple_Cruncher_123 · 2023-08-09T06:15:40+00:00

I'm not magical - society has adequately signaled to me my sexual value over the years, and I'm not the kind of guy to make a normal, healthy-minded woman act like that. My suss meter would be ringing alarm bells.

Does it reduce her attractiveness? No. Younger me would probably have given it a shot anyways, because yay attention and sexy time. Older me knows it won't end well.

NonTakenNameThatIUse · 2023-08-09T06:49:45+00:00

Depends on how well we click.

Doesn't have nerdy interests? Gone

Doesn't have hobbies? Gone

Can't fit into my friend groups? Gone

Doesn't care about men's issues and men's mental health (and well mental health in general)? Gone

Does she want to go out and travel constantly? Gone

"but muh new tings and excitementerino!!!1!" Gone

Now don't get me wrong I'm desperate. But I also get bored easily and have a hyper specific way of life. If she can't fit that, I'd rather stay alone.

Relationships are a time investment, a large one, and I've wasted a lot of it on failed ones.

VoltairesBarista · 2023-08-09T08:02:43+00:00

I’d be put off

not-a-dude-at-all · 2023-08-09T08:37:47+00:00

Disgusting, no interest in somebody who's crazy enough to do all of that. Even when I was single I wasn't that desperate for relationships.

eye_fuck · 2023-08-09T09:13:32+00:00

I dont date average girls

social_mules_alt · 2023-08-09T09:36:50+00:00

The desperation would be off putting.

iT_I_Masta_Daco · 2023-08-09T07:50:26+00:00

Would probably invite myself over to her place to smash.

Try to set her up for regular smashes.. but still avoiding to date her seriously lol.

mrcs84usn · 2023-08-09T08:25:55+00:00

I’m more worried about her desperation in and of itself. What she looks like is pretty irrelevant at that point. Women with that kind of attitude/behavior are going to be the ones that stalk you, key your car, and call the police on you when inevitably things go south.

Helpful-Towel857 · 2023-08-09T11:20:17+00:00

Define "appropriate" BMI. If you mean it's within a healthy range, that automatically makes her above average. The average American woman is 5'4" 171 lbs. I have no interest in "average".

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-08-09T13:02:23+00:00

Back in my day, flattered. Probably becomes a FWB or I’m in her phone as a late night “u up” text.

I’m weird tho. I’d probably try and show her she didn’t need to act desperate to pull a guy like me, while fooling around with her.

Fieral60 · 2023-08-09T14:54:19+00:00

Any guys on here saying it wouldn’t be off-putting are guys that get zero female attention. Desperation is always a turn-off, no matter the gender. That screams to me “no one else wants me”, which is only attractive to someone with the identical situation.

Over_North8884 · 2023-08-09T07:00:48+00:00

Pump and dump

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-08-09T11:12:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SmoothForest · 2023-08-09T09:02:43+00:00

It'd be a dream come true. Which would make me worry that she's faking it and instead trying to harvest my organs.

yungplayz · 2023-08-09T09:22:22+00:00

Not enough info. Looks aren’t what defines what I think about this whole situation

FourthHarbinger · 2023-08-09T10:50:43+00:00

I would be suspicious because I know very well that average women will have many average men hitting on them and probably even some above average men. I'm below average so why is she into me? Probably a prank or she has mental issues of some kind. But no, her desperation would not at all be a turn off. It would however be a sign that if we did date and I showed her affection, once her self esteem had risen she would probably monkey branch to one of the aforementioned men

Slyfer_Seven · 2023-08-09T12:55:52+00:00

I would feel like it's just another Wednesday...

SolidusMonkey · 2023-08-10T00:28:07+00:00

Is she desperate to date me because she finds something about me completely captivating? Hell fucking yeah, I'm down.

Is she desperate to date me because she's desperate to date anyone? Uhh, not so much.

HungerISanEmotion · 2023-08-09T07:14:39+00:00

I feel in love.

Also I'm pulling the plug on this one, her desperation is one giant red flag.

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FortheHellofit43 · 2023-08-09T08:04:46+00:00

Why is she desperate?

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-08-09T10:00:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

alby333 · 2023-08-09T10:13:01+00:00

Years ago I had a girlfriend like this it was pretty good early days but long term it wasn't practical. Once she'd lost contact with her friends I was her only source of human interaction so therefore itwas very hard to see my friends. Basically she expected me to reciprocate I was in my early 20s so that wasnt going to happen as I was playing in a band that shectried to insert herself into much to the chagrin of my band mates (no one likes a yoko). It was pretty unhealthy ste even let her faith go (she was Christian) I gradually pulled away until she got the message and ended it. Im not proud of thst and itvwas cowardly but i was young and stupid we split on on relatively good terms.

MintTeaFromTesco · 2023-08-09T10:24:48+00:00

I'd probably give dating her a shot, mind you that enthusiasm is not enough to create compatibility, so no guarantee that we'll actually end up together.

Shoddy-Donut-9339 · 2023-08-09T10:36:48+00:00

Does she have competition? Does somebody better looking want date me? I am old now. Nobody better looking is likely to show up.

I will take plain Jane and be happy with her.

BrummieAMN19 · 2023-08-09T10:45:47+00:00

No I’d reject her cause I wouldn’t find her physically attractive not because of her desperation. It also sounds like she’s easy to manipulate based off your description

gadawg446 · 2023-08-09T11:27:32+00:00

Jerry, she's a loser.

DoinIt989 · 2023-08-09T11:42:10+00:00

Not a fan. If she had piercings and tattoos maybe, but excessive interest from a girl is exhausting and off-putting in general.

bruhminer · 2023-08-09T11:54:10+00:00

I'd feel like there is hidden camera somewhere and I'm getting pranked.

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-08-09T12:00:57+00:00

I would only ever consider a girl like this tbh. Maybe not average looking but someone who is so eager to date me that they do this type of shit.

happy_discus · 2023-08-09T12:07:38+00:00

I would wonder why she would behave that way. Probably would reject her because it's a gigantic red flag to be desperate to date me. It either means she's batshit crazy or something else is wrong with her.

EverVigilant1 · 2023-08-09T12:32:27+00:00

I’m great with this. she’s attracted to me. I’d be on the lookout for red flags.

Just one more example of how men and women just don’t see this the same way at all

RahLyt · 2023-08-09T12:45:53+00:00

I would run.

-AvatarAang- · 2023-08-09T13:24:28+00:00

Is it sad that I found this scenario too unrealistic to even entertain? I can't accept it could even happen.

OnePotatoeChip · 2023-08-09T13:37:51+00:00

How desperate are we talking? Like, crazy stalker vibes? Or is she just very forward? 'Cause I can appreciate forwardness and would definitely give it a shot.

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2023-08-09T13:47:02+00:00

I've had this happen to me. I was going to enter into a relationship with her because I was lonely. Ultimately, I decided not to do it. I think that was the correct decision. Her desperation was a bit much, and I didn't think it was right to enter a relationship if my feelings were lukewarm.

AbsolutelyNobody0 · 2023-08-09T14:07:15+00:00

It would reduce her attractiveness. If a girl did as you described and looked as you described, she'd need just about everything else about her to be in alignment with what I desire for me to actually enter a relationship with her. It's unlikely but not impossible.

TammyMeatToy · 2023-08-09T14:12:13+00:00

I guess it would depend if she's fun to talk to. Like if we don't share any hobbies or interests then no.

pancakesyo_ · 2023-08-09T14:40:29+00:00

At first glance, I would probably feel a bit wary as if I'm getting setup, pranked, or she has Borderline Personality Disorder because I never got that type of attention or attraction. But after a while I'll figure out that it's genuine.

No it would not reduce her attractiveness, if anything it would motivate me further to work hard and go the extra mile for her because she sees something in me lol. But I would feel weird if she constantly cancels plans with friends, spends money on me, and laugh at every single joke I make.

Blue_Robin_04 · 2023-08-09T14:49:33+00:00

You didn't make this deal sour enough. It sounds like she's reasonably attractive and cares for you. Hell, the "obsession" stuff will increase her value, absolutely.

Puzzleheaded_Card_71 · 2023-08-09T15:12:34+00:00

I have had that a few times and it is lovely but I knew they wanted kids for most of those scenarios, that is what was driving their intense desire.

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-08-09T15:24:57+00:00

If she's genuinely into me, of course.

Laughs at all your jokes no matter what.

The "no matter what" part makes me wonder; is OP implying it's fake and the girl is doing it in order to plug me into a role (boyfriend, husband, whatever) just because she thinks I can't do any better, and she isn't really into me personally, just the idea of having a man? But, assuming the interest is genuine...

I have far more people hate me at first sight than like me. But once in a while there is someone who sees something they like, and they are into it. It's incredibly rare but it has happened. WHY DO YOU THINK I WOULDN'T APPRECIATE THAT PERSON??!? They are like virtually the best people in a sea of hostility or, at best, indifference.

Here's the thing; the rare people who are into me usually have something going on. For example, the people who laugh at my jokes are actually much funnier than I am (tho they may not realize it).

There'll always be some douchey guy who says, "I prefer the chase", because he gets covered in female attention like pancakes get covered in syrup. His life experience is completely different than the average guys.

_here_ok · 2023-08-09T15:34:41+00:00

It depends, if the desperation is self harming or obsession then yes. If she's obsessed and willing to give everything up for obsessions then once the obsession is over it leads to a lot and I mean a lot of problems.

SkookumTree · 2023-08-09T15:40:13+00:00

Yeah - what the hell is the catch? Is she on meth or some shit? Bat shit fucking crazy? Literally retarded? What's the deal here? If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

princedune · 2023-08-09T15:53:38+00:00

YOUNG_ACE242 · 2023-08-09T16:00:00+00:00

Once she doesn’t act like a Plain Jane (self deprecating, compares herself to IG girls, etc), then I’m all aboard. Most wives are average, most people are, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s only when people or yourself compare to the 1%, that makes someone unattractive. Quite honestly, a run of the mill chick is even rarer now because every chick is chasing after a look they’ve seen on social media. Just a bunch of copycats running around.

Open-Currency-7397 · 2023-08-09T16:35:29+00:00

The desperation would be a bit creepy, but if she had a genuinely sweet and authentic personality then I’d want to get to know her more

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2023-08-09T16:39:12+00:00

No, her desperation does not decrease her attractiveness. But the kind of woman you describe is a fantasy unless you're very good-looking, tall, and rich. Even below average women think they deserve the top percentage of men without bringing anything to the table. Women offer nothing in relationships anymore but still expect to be catered to. I'd love to find a woman with a career, her own money, and who doesn't expect me to take care of her. But that's rare. I would date anyone as long as I was respected and seen as more than a wallet.

SorryEm · 2023-08-09T17:04:52+00:00

Sure I'd hang out with her to see if I like her or not.

Shadowcat1606 · 2023-08-09T17:48:38+00:00

At this point in my life, i'd probably turn her down. But none of the reasons for that would have anything to do with her.

Then again... if she was actually willing to date ME, she'd have to be really ridiculously desperate, so much so that even i'd probably notice.

CroslandHill · 2023-08-09T18:39:04+00:00

It would depend on the circumstances.

If we were friends, or part of the same friend group, I wouldn't reject her just because she seemed desperate. But if I only knew her through work, an evening class, or a Meetup group, or because we lived in the same neighbourhood, then I would find her behavior weird and inappropriate and I wouldn't feel comfortable dating her.

The above would apply if she was my looksmatch, or tolerably close to it. But if she was only a 5/10 physically...well, I think I could do better.

Awkward-Manager5939 · 2023-08-09T18:52:43+00:00

I would be suspicious, of being used. If i was available, why not. She could be a really nice, addition to my live

FunEducation1434 · 2023-08-09T18:52:45+00:00

From the title I was like “hell yeah! Wtf kinda dumb ass question is that?”, then I read the desperate part. It’s a no for me big dog. The lonely person in me wants to say yeah, but my better judgement is telling me don’t get mixed up in that shit.

Least_Ride1826 · 2023-08-09T20:31:37+00:00

silverhippo15 · 2023-08-09T21:19:27+00:00

I’d assuage her and shut it down gently. Not the most appealing package. Can get that from hotter chicks.

herefortheparty01 · 2023-08-09T21:19:31+00:00

I’d be so happy. Ngl

Nate_Reborn · 2023-08-09T22:12:00+00:00

She sounds like a simp. No.

hockey_psychedelic · 2023-08-09T22:25:57+00:00

I’d appreciate she has excellent taste.

cast-away-ramadi06 · 2023-08-09T22:37:33+00:00

There's a line between 'very interested and 'desperate'. I'm very much into the former but not the later.

She desperately wants to date you. She will cancel any plans with her friends to make herself available for you.

If I was really into someone, I'd do this too. It doesn't seem desperate to me.

Laughs at all your jokes no matter what.

I can easily tell real vs fake enthusiasm. Fake anything is a huge turnoff.

Buys YOU stuff.

Could be a very sweet gesture if it was appropriate for the stage of the relationship. If she's buying me a dozen roses on date #2, that would be sus.

All signs say she reeks of desperation...

All the signs you've laid out don't necessarily point to desperation.

garlcauss · 2023-08-09T22:40:27+00:00

If she's desperate for me, she's got serious problems.

302daniel · 2023-08-09T23:12:08+00:00

yeah that kind of gives off a vibe that perhaps something deeper is going on psychologically that needs to be addressed

Disco_Lightning · 2023-08-09T23:23:35+00:00

Someone being into you and showing it isn't desperation...

You keep seeing it as that, you'll keep getting women who are into playing games because they were told they're desperate otherwise

Barely-moral · 2023-08-09T23:42:43+00:00

How would you feel about that?

Lucky. Maybe too lucky. IRL I would doubt her honesty or intentions. In this hypothetical scenario I know that she is honest so just lucky.

Does her desperation reduce her attractiveness?

Not at all. If anything it increases her attractiveness.

Hard_Corsair · 2023-08-10T03:11:50+00:00

Overall I'd consider her interest to be a positive since we're assuming it's genuine and I don't have to guess what she's trying to sell me.

shadowling77777 · 2023-08-10T10:37:51+00:00

I would wake up lmao

odd_cloud · 2023-08-10T13:28:33+00:00

Let’s say it would be similar to a famous company calling me and inviting me to work for them for $300,000 a year out of the blue. I’d feel fantastic.

Let me explain my point of view. I have an internal feeling that I have to prove myself before thinking about dating. I feel that I need to earn a certain amount, have certain things, and look in a certain way. Most importantly, I feel I must behave in a certain manner that is not typical for me.

So after I reached all those thresholds, I must talk to a lot of women putting effort in being witty and experience a lot of rejection. Then I get some first dates. I must plan them, make them memorable, be several times more talkative, witty, and funny than I am in my daily life. I must be more impressive than the other guys she meets. Then I’ll have a number of rejections again. After that may be would be able to find a woman who likes me.

You just go to the end of this story, and tell me there is a woman who likes me. It’s a net benefit.

Atthattime768 · 2023-08-10T14:15:55+00:00

It's hard to find people you can connect with these days, so I'm not about to turn up my nose at a desperate admirer.

I'll match her energy and we can be a crazy couple.

I will almost always like the girl who likes me--that means she has good taste.

BCRE8TVE · 2023-08-10T21:56:19+00:00

Is she desperate for ME as a person, or is she desperate for a boyfriend and I happen to be the nearest male she can get?

I would be suspicious of the desperation for sure and wonder why exactly she is desperate and what her motivation is.

If the motivation is to be with ME that would of course be extremely flattering. Can be a red flag if it's stalker-ish desperation, and a red flag if it's possessive desperation (ie chasing off other women).

If it's desperate to be with a guy, and I just happen to fit the bill, yeah no thanks, stuck my dick in crazy once, been there, done that, got the T-shirt, never again.

It basically boils down to why she is desperate to date me, if it's creepy desperate or really liking me personally desperate.

Then again I have no idea why any woman would be desperate to be with a guy, when it really shouldn't be that hard to win a guy over by paying that man a mild amount of attention and going out of your way to say you like him and you want him.

It's like, why would you be desperate to buy apples? Just go and buy apples, there's plenty, they're there, and most won't say no.

Only reason for her to be desperate really would be if the guy is attractive and has no trouble getting other women, and she wants him to select her, despite the fact he either doesn't like her, or that she's just not that attractive compared to all the other women he gets.

In which case again desperation isn't really a useful way to get his attention, she'd have to do something to set herself apart from the competition to make him feel better than the other women could.

AuraCore-main · 2023-08-11T00:41:35+00:00

Sounds tempting

Medoyk · 2023-08-11T18:40:25+00:00

i would be a bit weirded out by the absolute desperation but I would consider it very attractive that someone is that into me.

KissMyAsthma-99 · 2023-08-11T18:59:07+00:00

I'd be hesitant, fearing a prank or trap of some kind. But if I was convinced it was genuine, I'd be flattered and turned on by it.

According_Talk_3084 · 2023-08-12T13:23:26+00:00

Not a realistic situation.

propaneiac · 2023-08-12T23:14:08+00:00

Desperation doesn't necessarily decrease her attractiveness. If she's too clingy, or possessive/insane it does. It seems to me the girl like that if she's humble would be my dream girl. A girl who values me, is a good thing. Humility is rare in the US, no matter what gender. And if she's modestly attractive, it just means less competition. But if a girl is a reasonable body weight is automatically at least a seven in this society. And usually thinks she's a 10

SirCha0s · 2023-08-14T09:08:24+00:00

It does actually reduce your attractiveness. This is because subconsciously it's communicating to the other person that you are beneath them and they could do better... Now if you're a super attractive woman doing that then it's quite the opposite (although probably a red flag and quite scary but irresistible none the less)

Title	Q4M - an average looking girl is DESPERATE to date you. How do you feel about it?
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	68
Comments	325
Date	August 9, 2023 6:02 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/15m6kr6/q4m_an_average_looking_girl_is_desperate_to_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-an-average-looking-girl-is-desperate-to-date.1228308 https://theredarchive.com/post/1228308

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