This explains a lot: Majority of Women declined sex due to body insecurities, dating app finds

onfireonfire · 2023-10-14T16:58:41+00:00

I did online dating for a year or so before meeting my BF. Whenever a man so obviously out (above) of my league responded, I ignored it - he likely only wanted casual sex. Well, so did many in my league, but a bit above average woman gets inundated by responses on dating apps, so you have eliminate many men and you are bound to make a mistake. So if you are a hot guy being rejected by average woman - it could be her insecurities but it could be that it is also that you do not look like BF material.

Ainsleygz · 2023-10-14T12:35:44+00:00

I turned down sex when I was young because I hadn’t shaved

_Bene_Gesserit_Witch · 2023-10-14T09:19:51+00:00

I could have told you this 20 years ago at the ripe old age of 18. I have also mentioned it several times on this sub and every time men just couldn't wrap their heads around it and got angry at me. What do you honestly expect when men are training their eyes on hundreds of super hot women in every stage of undress and anal prolapse in HD, and now available in VR! Makes the average woman feel like a hideous beast. Who wants desperate pity sex? How are we supposed to be turned on when feeling ugly as sin?

Edit: it's very interesting how men here complain that women don't believe men or take their issues seriously, and then completely dismiss or minimise a very serious prevalent issue women have that directly impacts the sex lives of both genders. Why are you here if you want to stick your head in the sand? Do you just want to be proven right rather than learn the truth? The partner I had who didn't really watch much porn got way WAY more sex from me. Not only more in frequency but also more enthusiastic. Let that sink in.

MajesticMaple · 2023-10-14T12:59:13+00:00

Another interesting thing from this pure survey is that 19% of people have backed out of sex after seeing their partners body due to it's size or shape. Is that surprisingly high to anyone else? I don't do casual sex but it feels like it would be really mean to dip because their body is ugly. Overall 22% of women have left after their partner gets naked and 36% of men have. In the gender break down question they don't state the reason (so it could be for other reasons then their body shape) but thats surprisingly high.

Purplepillthrowaway0 · 2023-10-14T15:51:25+00:00

No offense--but I thought that this was common sense. Being rejected doesn't always have to do with you possibly being unattractive. Sometimes, the other person has their own issues. I turned a guy down, as a teenager, bc I was too nervous. Looking back, I wish I said yes.

harmonica2 · 2023-10-14T14:01:01+00:00

There was a woman I hooked up with who only wanted to do it if she could keep her shirt on and do it with the lights off.

But if a woman is like that, does that mean she is still probably enjoying it and wanting to, or is it just 'duty sex' at that point?

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-10-14T16:45:39+00:00

I'm shocked that y'all are shocked at thus information.

We've been saying in this sub that rejection has a lot of factors at play. It's not just about looks. But some of y'all don't want to listen.

mlo9109 · 2023-10-14T11:47:14+00:00

Makes sense... I was a fat kid growing up. I was basically invisible to boys, though, I did get to be the victim of a few "pull a pig" pranks in high school. I often question the motives of anyone, regardless of gender, who calls me attractive despite losing the weight.

Sisstasia · 2023-10-14T12:42:46+00:00

ITT: Some men think "Get your tits out" is actually solid advice.

Throwawayfor_advicee · 2023-10-14T20:03:10+00:00

One of the most common reasons for me not wanting to have sex with my partner is when I’m just not feeling good about myself. Either I haven’t been able to shower, or I’m just kinda depressed and feel both mentally and physically gross.

I can’t think of a single time I’ve not wanted to sleep with him because of him, it’s always either I’m in pain right now, or don’t feel good about myself- both of which make me unable to get in the mood.

no202 · 2023-10-14T14:51:05+00:00

If you’re a woman, you know this is true. You see how men talk about women. Even beautiful women are berated by neckbeards.

BillyPilgrim75 · 2023-10-14T13:47:18+00:00

Gotta say, the comments from men here are really annoyingly tone deaf. How thick must the rock you guys are living under be to not know that heavy handed message that a woman's worth is first and foremost tied to how attractive she is is every fucking where and starts fucking with women's self esteem before puberty. How the fuck is that about women doing this to themselves. How self absorbed must a man be to think that the way women's minds and souls are shaped at age 6 or 8 is something she chose or can just shake off.

I'm male and old so I've seen the way men are viewed change in the past 50 years, and it's gotten tougher for us. A lot. What this has done though is taken my always present intellectual understanding of the pressure women face to look good and made it a more gut level understanding.

A thread like this could be a bridge between men and women who both feel pressured to fit unrealistic and often impossible to meet standards. It's kind of a shame that it's not. And this one is on us, guys.

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2023-10-14T09:40:14+00:00

Sounds plausible, but then you read things like this:

61 percent of men have never been turned off by their partner's body hair

I don't know, man. Hairy legs, arms, armpits, a mustache can be a huge turnoff to most guys.

YourSassyPikachu · 2023-10-14T16:35:28+00:00

I'm 24 and still a virgin and refuse to come out from my shell cause I'm just ...insecure . If a guy asks me out I internally say " Doesn't he have better options? Dude your choice is dumb. Go date that hot Babe " guyzzz what do I do ? I feel like nothing will change cause I hate my blemishes , body hair , stretch marks.

Your post is certainly true OP.

Irys-likethe-Eye · 2023-10-14T20:43:40+00:00

When I was young I was insecure and now that I'm older I still am but I look back on when I was younger I'm like damn. I looked good. I felt underdeveloped and scrawny back then and now I have to actively not think about how pudgy I feel even though my body looks exactly like a Greco Roman statue. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to fit the modern dynamic and all I can think about is the fact that when I twist too much I get a back roll and when I hunch over I look like I've got a bag of uncooked dinner rolls taped to my stomach. It can be so hard to get out of your own head during intimacy because of sex in media portraying what the fantasy of it looks like, that is all you can think about. Does my body look alright? Am I making the right faces? Is this the right noise? Am I performing up to the the visual standards that we are told guys have because it has been repeatedly told to us over and over and over and over that men are visual but not emotional and that why we shouldn't care that they watch porn even when in a committed relationship. If the visual is so much of the point then it's no wonder that we feel vulnerable presenting ourselves.

I was a tomboy when I was younger and I heard the way my guy friends would talk about girls when girls weren't around and I was like "wow that is not going to be me thinking something amazing and special happened just to have my boyfriend talk about me like this to his friends when I leave" hence no sex in highschool. I got picked on so much for being flat chested that it took me years to believe a guy was actually complimenting me and not making fun of me. Many chicks legit never really feel good about themselves, either we are not curvy enough or we are too curvy, either it looks like we are trying too hard or like we need to try harder.

Years and years ago an ex and I were renting a room and the dude had a bunch of skin mags in his house. So of course my ex looked at them. One night when I got home from work he was talking about it and commented about how he saw the perfect butthole. Just perfectly pink and tight. How do you even respond to something like that?! Cut to the present I still worry about how my freaking butthole looks when I'm with my fiancee. Dudes look at perfectly curated and prepared chicks in porn and we can't help but mentally compare ourselves to that. Like I'm not starving myself and getting enemas everyday after bleaching my butthole. There's also no camera angles, lighting or post production touchups to improve what he's seeing when we are doing it. Average chicks cannot compete with women who's job it is to look amazing for money and we think.. maybe next time I won't feel so bloated and I'll shave right before instead of in the morning.

Azweik · 2023-10-14T14:51:03+00:00

The article is speaking about women not wanting to have sex with men that are already their husband, boyfriends or maybe casual, it doesn't speak about who they pick?

I wonder how you made that connection? They will reject the potential partners they don't like because they don't find them attractive, form the men they find attractive they might not want to have sex with the"right now"because they feel insecure, but they "would want to in general"

That what I read in this article

Pola_Lita · 2023-10-14T10:22:44+00:00

There are a lot of men who would be astonished at the pressure society places on women to be physically appealing. Particularly on PPD.

forthetinderelllas · 2023-10-14T19:00:06+00:00

Lmao don’t inflate these poor men’s hopes.

We are talking about women declining sex on dating apps. Sorry to burst your bubble, but she’s declining Chad for these reasons. The average bro didn’t even match with her.

BigZaddyZ3 · 2023-10-14T09:47:54+00:00

If you’re referring to the 80/20 stuff… No, it doesn’t explain anything. Those stats were specifically about how the women collectively rated the men on the apps. Not whether they turned down sex or not. So you’re kind of reaching and comparing apples to oranges if that’s where you’re going with this one…

But if we’re just supposed to take this info at face value, I think it’s simply another reason that sex is treated differently between the genders. Sex with women requires so many things going right at any given moment. Meanwhile us guys stay locked and loaded basically…😂. Is it any surprise that guys that get lots of sex from women are viewed as impressive by society?

Logical-Confection-7 · 2023-10-15T02:20:25+00:00

This is not what the text says. It says that many women have declined sex in som instance, not that this is the reason they usually reject men. Most women are likely to decline sex the first dates for that reason, but likely to accept later to the same men they are dating. This is not the reason uncle exist or why women don’t swipe right on men on tinder.

Pathosgrim · 2023-10-15T03:20:25+00:00

Why would they be on dating apps and looking for the best that they can get yet feel insecure about themselves? Sounds pretty paradoxical. I guess validation from unattractive/undesirable men doesn't count, and acceptance of said validation is reserved only for the type of men that elicit feelings of inferiority and insecurity within women.

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-10-15T03:26:19+00:00

Looking at the tinder swipe stats, it’s hard to deny that what is happening is men matching with women they aren’t attracted to and women only match with men who are most likely far above their looksmatch. This is why women think men on tinder only want sex because men on tinder are forcing themselves to go on dates with women they don’t find attractive and usually don’t want to have sex a second time.

throaway2s1fsfsf4 · 2023-10-14T09:54:57+00:00

Declined sex with men they were attracted to

Not with a random below average dude

RedditBellend · 2023-10-14T16:26:11+00:00

This doesn't match up with the findings about how women throw themselves at chads.

Haunting-Surprise754 · 2023-10-15T01:36:01+00:00

I’ve heard loads of men nitpick women’s bodies after sleeping with them so yea this tracks

like sorry your random hookup didn’t have the type of nipples you prefer brad idk why you’re complaining

Dertross · 2023-10-14T13:51:19+00:00

Turns out, they thought they were too ugly for you!

Maybe they feel like they are too ugly for -Chad-.
Normal men aren't even in consideration. We've all seen the data on how women swipe on apps, that's a very strange "insecurity" where they are too insecure to give normal men a chance but the insecurity suddenly evaporates when they see a handsome guy. Must be his personality...

Oli_love90 · 2023-10-14T19:26:17+00:00

I mean, Yeh, the main reason I leave the apps is because I feel like I don’t measure up.

I don’t have a witty one liner or fun pics with friends, I’m painfully average so of course I would approach the apps like “I don’t feel cute/sexy why would anyone else think so” or “he’s just talking to me because he’s down bad, I may as well spare myself this interaction” and just leave.

princedune · 2023-10-14T16:05:42+00:00

Men assumed women rejected them because they were ugly or too ugly for them. Turns out, they thought they were too ugly for you!

Women are only matching with the hottest guys on the apps in the first place, so really its that some women feel insecure about how much they date up

Napo_De_Leone · 2023-10-14T10:54:45+00:00

this just shows they really do aim for guys way out if their league.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2023-10-14T10:02:15+00:00

Survey on top of being an obscure dating app, I could wipe my ass with this "study".

Women lie and putting their choices over something that give them empathy points shield them of any criticism. It's like the old "it's not you ok it's me" garbage.

Reality is that if she was really attracted she will not lose the opportunity to jump in trying to get commitment.

Napo_De_Leone · 2023-10-14T11:03:44+00:00

women are only expected to look good relative to the man they’re dating. of course the short chubby chick aiming for the gymbros will be “insecure” , she will be insecure because she deep down knows she doesn’t want a unfit chubby guy herself and now competes with fit women for the attention of fit men.

The_Important_Stuff · 2023-10-15T01:43:16+00:00

Let me remind people that porn is made by consenting women, especially with the rise of OnlyFans. For many they make a living doing it and love it.

That’s your fellow women. And there is a whole movement by women to normalize and encourage sex work.

Where is the hate towards these women?

Ylduts · 2023-10-14T09:42:20+00:00

Dating app. Isn’t this the arena where 20% of men get the attention and women ignore the other 80%. It should say the majority of women declined sex due to bodily insecurities when with the top men. IRL men are rejected constantly, and this reason is nowhere near the top.

ratboi34 · 2023-10-14T09:49:30+00:00

Doesn't this kind of prove that women go for chad on dating apps? Someone else posted an article before that women with more attractive partners than themselves are more likely to have body image issues. I know pretty much all women have insecurities, but it's probably not because they wantto be good enough for a normie. I know some women, that have told me before that they can't be with attractive guys, because it makes them insecure, but they were comfortable dating their looksmatch.

MacaronFinancial · 2023-10-14T11:02:40+00:00

Women have imaginary foes. For women "just touch grass bro" is literally gold. If she just let go she could have an amazing life. If she broke the dam that's preventing men from coming into her life.

With guys it's the opposite; if you are just confident you can get arrested or pummeled. Being inhibited and assuming the worst just keeps you safe.

As Margaret Thatcher said "society" does not exist. People need to shove "society" and other feminist tags up their ass. There is no magical patriarchy putting "pressure" on women. It's women telling each other that they have it hard while they make a stink face at all the men telling them they are amazing.

roger61962 · 2023-10-14T11:44:51+00:00

American women are very "body positive" but this seems to be a fake sense of self.

I am with a model sizes 10 who still asks me if her booty is too fat... !@#%%$#@!

Women..... who ever will understand 'em

calfshrug · 2023-10-14T13:50:30+00:00

At the end of the day, most women look pretty much the same bent over -

-some adage

LifeIsAVeryBadJoke · 2023-10-14T11:33:07+00:00

they thought they were too ugly for you!

Sure, that's what it was.

Even my own mom did that after she got a divorce, thinking back.

Yup. That's EXACTLY why she started going to the gym after her divorce.

gopher_glitz · 2023-10-14T14:13:35+00:00

Things men would never say even though feminist insist men and women are the same.

learn2earn89 · 2023-10-14T18:03:25+00:00

Yeah. And the assumption is that he’s going to compare your body to the porn he’s been watching since age 13.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2023-10-14T13:16:19+00:00

Crazy world. As a fit guy, there's so few fit girls out there they don't want me they can get anyone. And so many obese women that many of them are insecure on dates with me.

Ya my life experiences match up to it. You hear it in comments from girls trying to qualify themselves to you.

I encourage everyone to eat well and exercise even before trying to date. It's good for you.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-10-14T13:17:54+00:00

Yes, it happened to them, at least once - it doesn't mean it happens all the time.

sure, one day she's not shaved, another on her period, another she didn't go home yet and is sweaty - but that's it, most rejections are just rejections, stop the cope.

dronedesigner · 2023-10-14T16:31:50+00:00

Lol this is only for men who have gotten swiped on in the first place. The tables have in fact not been turned.

anonymous375555 · 2023-10-14T14:59:47+00:00

I see a lot of women blaming men porn consumption (which is the usual argument when you don't have an argument). but what can we do, on one hand there are the flat midgets that we see every day and on the other hand there are those tall curvy skinny silky goddesses with big dicks that we see on screen. It's not our mistake the porn became so sophisticated.

Chocat_X_Stencchi · 2023-10-14T21:15:25+00:00

I kinda always thought this internally cause women would glance at me but when approached, are suddenly cold. But expressing out loud that "women don't apporach me because they're intimidated by my looks and intelligence" is hard to say without sounding cocky as hell.

Deadwalking2k · 2023-10-14T13:14:39+00:00

Doubt considering women are praised all the time for how they look regardless of if they’re fat or not. Bodybuilding men will still only get compliments from other dudes.

_Ad_Astra_Abyssosque · 2023-10-14T14:33:25+00:00

This is such obviously bs I'm not even gonna entertain it.

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-10-14T23:41:39+00:00

Why is this surprising? Have you read the kind of crap men say here about ABOVE AVERAGE looking women???

IFightingFrogsI · 2023-10-14T13:07:44+00:00

This explains a lot: Majority of Women declined sex due to body insecurities, dating app finds

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

This is like asking a female a question about her b. count and expecting an honest answer and then not only expecting an honest answer, but also actually believing that answer LMAO

2023-10-14T12:08:23+00:00

I doubt this

purplish_possum · 2023-10-14T17:33:12+00:00

What a bunch of total BS!

Women turn down sex when they're not attracted to a guy. When they're not attracted sexually charged situations make them feel icky. When they feel icky they think about their imperfections.

When women are attracted to a guy the last thing they are thinking about is their imperfections.

ambrosedc · 2023-10-16T01:02:25+00:00

To all the anti-sex work radfems bigmad in the comments I hope you know this wave of anti-sex backlash ya'll are riding is DEEPLY rooted in antisemitism and other forms of bigotry:

https://forward.com/culture/536481/hays-code-sex-scenes-diversity-penn-badgley-censorship-antisemitism/

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Effective_Day4834 · 2023-10-14T17:47:10+00:00

Still a virgin for this very reason lol.

Fit_Kiwi9703 · 2023-10-14T20:30:23+00:00

You will stop feeling insecure once it sinks in that it’s the only body you’ve got!

Treasure it. Love it. It’s a gift from the universe, and your soul gets to inhabit it for a limited time.

Honest_Report_8515 · 2023-10-14T21:37:49+00:00

Can confirm!

yaboi0707 · 2023-10-15T01:43:45+00:00

Are you a newtype?

DuetLearner · 2023-10-15T03:16:27+00:00

iLiveInAHologram94 · 2023-10-15T05:44:56+00:00

I declined letting my bf move in with me at first because of a physical insecurity. We’ve gotten past that and now happily live together. I’ve declined sex when on the dating scene as well usually because I hadn’t shaved. But if I knew I wanted to hold off getting physical with someone but would feel tempted I’d also not shave to deter myself. Let my insecurities help me set boundaries with myself. I think it’s kind of funny.

Illmakeausernamelate · 2023-10-15T06:44:28+00:00

I feel stupid as a guy I just always assumed I did something wrong

Schwappe · 2023-10-15T16:30:59+00:00

To people saying women are crazy and it’s just a women’s issue.. men definitely deal with this too. So many peoples self image is in the gutter

macone235 · 2023-10-15T21:45:13+00:00

This is the most ridiculous statement I've seen on this sub. Women are not rejecting men, because they don't think they're good enough.

uidc · 2023-10-16T07:05:03+00:00

This is so true. My boyfriend criticizes my natural breasts then wonders why I barely wanna have sex with him.

RuggedIndividualist7 · 2023-10-16T11:04:27+00:00

I've I heard a few different women on here say that once they go out with a tall business exec type that they have no interest in going out with average guys anymore.

I'm sort of similar. I've only dated strippers, I just don't prefer women who aren't attractive. A lot of average women just don't catch my eye and it sucks they're insecure but it is what it is.

CliffPR · 2023-10-16T13:18:42+00:00

Yeah, that's just the reason my ex gave when she broke up with me: her own insecurities made it hard for her to feel attractive or sexual.

Of course, we couldn't break our lease for a few more months and the walls were thin so a month or so later I got to hear exactly how attractive and sexual she felt with a new guy.

As always: ignore what they say, watch what they do.

This explains a lot: Majority of Women declined sex due to body insecurities, dating app finds

Comments

Men 100% full stop are the cause of my insecurity, not women.

Title	This explains a lot: Majority of Women declined sex due to body insecurities, dating app finds
Author	Gundam_net
Upvotes	156
Comments	496
Date	October 14, 2023 8:52 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/177l5w5/this_explains_a_lot_majority_of_women_declined/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/this-explains-a-lot-majority-of-women-declined-sex.1235067 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235067