Question for Women - Is it true that you find the majority of Men unnatractive?

YaKnowEstacado · 2023-07-28T16:05:55+00:00

I find the average man neutral until he behaves or interacts with me in a way that gets my attention.

GooseneckRoad · 2023-07-28T17:26:01+00:00

I usually don't think about men being attractive/unattractive unless they interact with me for a time. They're just neutral, fellow people.

NakedStreets · 2023-07-28T15:58:19+00:00

It is true that most men are not physically attractive enough to make me interested in them because of their looks alone.

It does not mean they are unattractive. Just that looks don’t usually rate enough in the cost-benefit-analysis of risking time and safety.

tinasnow-poty · 2023-07-28T16:09:12+00:00

For me, yeah. Like I don’t think most men are ugly or offensive to look at or anything but I just don’t take notice of them. I was shocked to discover men take notice of most women and yes/no them in their head. I thought we were all walking round minding our own business 😂

Jambi1913 · 2023-07-28T20:05:15+00:00

This is where men and women are generally very different. Most women don’t look at men and think about whether they’d have sex with them - i.e. whether they are attractive. Men are just neutral people in the world unless they do something that changes that. It’s why most women don’t approach men - it’s not how women’s sexuality usually works. We’re not as driven to find sexual partners as men are. It is what it is and I understand it’s frustratingly different from how men’s sexuality usually works.

Most average men are objectively fine to look at in my eyes - not “hot”, not “ugly”. I would say personally that the average man has the potential to be sexually attractive to me - they just aren’t because looks aren’t the primary driver of sexual attraction in my book, they’re simply a component.

Spiritual-Cicada9650 · 2023-07-28T17:01:32+00:00

I dont think most men are unattractive. I feel more neutral about them until I see how they treat others and interact with the world.

MarjieJ98354 · 2023-07-28T17:55:48+00:00

I find most men attractive; but I will never approach a man in any kind of friendly or romantic way. I've been rejected since birth, so I come from a mentality that both men and women are evil until they prove themselves to be good. Attractive people are not necessarily good people.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2023-07-28T15:55:19+00:00

Unattractive implies ugly. I don't think most men are ugly, I just don't think about most men at all.

I think its more accurate to say we find most men are just NPCs.

Beebum5 · 2023-07-28T16:10:40+00:00

I find the majority of men and women unattractive lol. Not ugly, just not attractive to me

random923828 · 2023-07-28T17:57:34+00:00

For me, I am rarely attracted to most males. However, the alternative is not what most men think it is. Many men erroneously think that all women automatically want a "Chad". That's not accurate though. For women in general, I think the whole "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" rings true here. Not all women are into the male model look or archetype. One time a woman showed me a photo of a conventionally very good looking man and was fawning. I felt nothing. No attraction whatsoever. To me, he looked like a stock photo model. Women are all attracted to different things physically. For me, it is more about the features on his face and a man's own unique look that attracts me. Conventionally good-looking men (actors, male models, etc.) in an artistic sense I can appreciate their look, it doesn't (and often doesn't) make me attracted to them. A lot of these men to me appear to me like a generic, over promoted trope.

I think there seems to be a fundamental difference between men and women (from what I have personally observed in what some men write online), when it comes to attraction. In both cases, obviously you are going to find men and women attracted to "hot" people. However, it seems a lot of men's attraction to women is MOSTLY based on how hot she is, such as her being a 9 or10 Instagram model with a perfect body and face. Even if she were to look like many other hot women, who often have the same lip fillers, etc., she is still considered "hot" to men on a personal level. For a number of women (myself included), what we are attracted to is a bit more individualized, as in being drawn in by what is unique to THAT MAN.

Whenever I see a man who is considered "hot" with his shirt off, muscles bulging; I'm usually not instantly attracted, if at all. Sure, I recognize that he fits within the good-looking man category. However, unless there is something that resonates with me as attractive in his face on an individual level, my eyes just glaze over, and I would scroll past. Also, a man who seems to relish in his appearance, by posting numerous shirtless selfies on social media turns me off. The ick factor is high, even if I were to be personally physically attracted. It makes it seem like over relies on his appearance to get by in life. That can indicate he has deficits in other areas, that he is shallow, or self-centered, which is bad for a real relationship where two people care about each other.

Also, for women attraction for us IS physical but it is a lot more than that. For example, a man can be physically good looking but if his facial expressions make him appear cocky attraction is lost. Just the opposite is true too, if a man is physically good looking and his eyes are soulful and kind it can make us melt. Even if he weren't the best looking man, or even average, little things like that get us. Additionally, attraction for us spans other areas than just looks. For men it seems to be pretty straightforward, "is she hot, would I sleep with her". For women, attraction is also psychological, emotional, and intellectual. For example, if I am attracted to a guy but it seems like he is just after sex or I am just one of many, I immediately lose interest. Sure, there are women who will sleep with any good looking man for sex, status, or financial perks. Yet, most women on average require more to initially get (and key word here: sustain) attraction. Women in general (those looking to fall in love, for a relationship, looking to cherish a man not to use him or for a one night stand), attraction is more complex. If I am physically attracted, but we don't have an intellectual connection, attraction lost. If I am physically attracted, but I feel like he doesn't see or get me as a person, attraction lost. If I am physically attracted, and he doesn't seem to care about my emotional well being, attraction lost. If I am physically attracted, and he doesn't seem have interest in me beyond looks and superficial things, attraction lost. I think the difference here, is that for a number of men those things aren't as important. For us they are essential.

I think there are a lot of men who really have a skewed view of what women want. A lot of them seem to chase after perfect 10, Insta-baddie types who post lots of thirst-traps, and are on OLD apps for attention and perks. THOSE are the types of women who are looking for financial and status perks, and therefore date Chad types or engage in Alpha f*cks, Beta bucks behaviors. A lot of men seem to base their assessment of what women in general are like from their interactions with the vain Insta-baddie types. It seems a number of men primarily focus on and are after women who have the highest SMV are the hottest. Then, their experiences with those types of women get applied to their view of all women. Women are not the same. There are many good looking women, who are not of the Insta-baddie ilk, who honestly just want to find their person and fall in love. They are not looking to take advantage, but are looking to contribute, They are not looking for a Chad (probably find the Chad type a little obnoxious and overrated), but a man they are personally attracted to. A lot of men don't see these women because they are usually not obsessively posting sexy photos of themselves on social media and OLD sites, or wearing revealing bodycon dresses in clubs or bars, etc. Yet, it seems for men (at least from what I have gathered from content written by men online) is that attraction for men is about getting the hottest and youngest woman possible, and getting her to sleep with you as fast as possible. (The Insta-baddie type mentioned). A woman who is excessively vain, loose, and status chasing (scantily clad and attention-whoring to gain attention of wealthy men) is probably not going to have good intentions toward a man, and is likely to use him (alpha f*cks, beta bucks dynamic). Many women may not be perfect 10s with the highest SMV, but are decent looking and intend to treat a man well. As it seems men prioritize getting the best they can get in SMV as in hottest and youngest, good quality women are invisible to them because that is not where they are looking. I think men would actually be able to find quality women and relationships where they are not being used for status and money, if they weren't prioritizing dating the highest SMV types. However, if some men are really only after dating the hottest, youngest types, and are only looking for sex, and with as many women as possible, they shouldn't be surprised if they keep finding themselves with women who only want a Chad type, and are shallow and just looking to use a man. If a man is just wanting to sleep with as many hot, young, women as possible, as quick as possible then I think it shouldn't matter what her character is. No quality woman with a lot to offer a man who is also after something real, lasting, and special with someone is going to want to or would put up with that from a man. If a man is interested in actually falling in love with someone who is a quality human being that could meaningfully add to his life without bringing a lot of pain, he may need to still value attractiveness but not to the extent where he is only considering the highest SMV women. I know this is a bit beyond what was asked but important to add.

wtknight · 2023-07-28T16:22:55+00:00

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No-Chance-8405 · 2023-07-28T17:55:47+00:00

Yes, unattractive in the sense that they are unremarkable to me lookwise. Only a few stand out, and then it's like "omg, that guy is so hot!" Happens very seldom unfortunately.
I have a soft spot for sexy voices though, so if an unremarkable man has a voice that is sexy to me his attractiveness increases on the spot significantly.

baiser_vole · 2023-07-28T16:16:57+00:00

I know what conventionally attractive is. I can see that cause I have eyes. I don’t know if it is my female sexuality or if I’m the odd one, but just someone’s looks doesn’t really do it. It is probably like straight men acknowledging that a guy looks good. The majority are NPC’s like others have said. Nothing spectacular, right? Like I’ve said, I have eyes and can make a judgement on someone’s looks. Looks bar is the one men should be asking about more.

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-07-28T16:04:56+00:00

I simply don't think about men in those terms. He's not attractive or unattractive until he makes a pass at me, then I make the judgement.

AngeCruelle · 2023-07-28T16:01:39+00:00

I find the average guy my age attractive but not necessarily compatible for a relationship

volleyballbeach · 2023-07-28T16:46:03+00:00

Yes. The majority of men where I live are unhealthily overweight (as in fat to the point it negatively impacts ability to do day to day activities) which I find unattractive. The majority of women here are also quite overweight so I imagine if I were a fit man here I would also find the majority of women here unattractive.

NiceTrybutIdc · 2023-07-28T17:06:37+00:00

When I was single most men seemed very... boring looking. Most who approached me said the same things in the same uninteresting way...

Then I met a sexy "redneck" plumber. After less than a month I knew that I wanted to stay with him forever, as corny as that sounds.

Now other men are totally invisible to me. I just pray he honestly does feel the same way, like he says he does.

princess_mothra · 2023-07-28T17:43:00+00:00

I wouldn’t say I view all men as ugly or anything but I would say majority were unattractive to me even before I was with my current partner. Now all men besides him are like NPCs in my eyes.

Even though I’m straight only women really stick out to me in that I might notice a girl’s nice outfit or a unique makeup look that I might want to try out myself later. Men kind of just blend into the background

fleurs_du_mal__ · 2023-07-28T19:06:38+00:00

No, lol. I actually find most guys have features that are attractive in their own ways: could be eyes, hair, lips, voice, physique, jaw line, cheek bones, height, variety of things 😌

However, attractive doesn’t mean I’d want to have sex with him or date him

Looks just have to hit a threshold, personality is what counts

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-07-28T19:34:23+00:00

I find most people, both men and women to be pretty neutral. They're not attractive or unattractive, they're just fine and aren't particularly impressive. I do see more women who put effort into looking good tho.

Logical-Confection-7 · 2023-07-29T01:13:37+00:00

Is so sad to hear women talk like that. With so much dispassion about men. I wonder if lesbian think the same about women. “Women, I don’t notice them” “women are just part of the scenery doing their thing” “I don’t fin them neither attractive or attractive beyond if the context is sexual” “I like 1 in thousands women” “I’ve notice them only when I am single” “I don’t find women attractive unless I get to know them” “maybe if she stands out” “I don’t notice any woman if I have a girlfriend”.

So much dispassion. I wonder if is “female sexuality” or something cultural lurking behind this “wholeness” aura.

Magoro14 · 2023-07-29T11:48:30+00:00

brutal it’s over

raindroponme · 2023-07-28T21:50:42+00:00

I find maybe 1 in 1000 men attractive.

FaradayBurka · 2023-07-28T15:55:33+00:00

Yes. I only find my boyfriend attractive. Everyone else is an NPC.

killer_tofu101 · 2023-07-28T16:48:58+00:00

Most men aren't unattractive. Most people are just fine looking and that works for me especially if they have good style, but it's some of the other qualities I'm more picky about.

roastpork99 · 2023-07-28T18:25:26+00:00

Hmm interesting thread so far.......interesting 🤔.....

.....very interesting 🤔🤔...🤔

What it appears is that on the whole most men are unspectacular to women. I think the 80/20 rule is an exaggeration but it does look like women don't tend to find guys attractive (physically) in the same way that the reverse happens.

Also women itt love using the word "NPC", no comment on that 👀

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-07-28T17:12:56+00:00

Me personally? Yes. I've got very particular facial features that do it for me.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-07-28T18:40:33+00:00

No. I do not find the majority of strangers interesting enough to take a second look and that is true for both men and women. It does not mean I find those people unattractive, though. Just not noticeably attractive.

Justwannaread3 · 2023-07-28T21:32:55+00:00

I think most men just look normal/average. They could have qualities that would make them more attractive to me if I got to know them.

Laurely4u · 2023-07-29T02:03:20+00:00

For 80% of men their sexual market value is a negative number

MsSmiley1230 · 2023-07-28T18:03:01+00:00

I’ll be honest-I have never seen a single man and automatically thought he was attractive. Interestingly I have thought that random women were attractive even though I am not really interested in women.

I have to interact with a man to find him attractive.

For example, if I’m watching a TV show, I will find a male character sexy but it is the character-I am not really attracted to the actor outside of that role.

I find my husband insanely attractive but I knew him for a year before I did. Then I had the biggest crush. I believe this is why online dating never worked for me-I was never able to find any of these random men attractive because there wasn’t enough interaction.

NJFlowerchild · 2023-07-28T16:01:10+00:00

I have asexual attraction. I don't see 99.999999999% of people as sexual at all. It's not a yes, no, or a maybe. You're like a tree I passed in the park.

Dstar538888 · 2023-07-28T17:33:54+00:00

Honestly yes😂 I barely come across men that I would rate as a 7 or an 8 and above… it’s like once in a blue moon… most of the men I come across are just not very remarkable to look at tbh…

JulesK00044 · 2023-07-28T16:19:52+00:00

Not really but attraction is way more than looks. Most women are ordinary average as are most men

2023-07-28T16:19:29+00:00

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januaryphilosopher · 2023-07-28T18:22:20+00:00

If I were single and you were to pick a random man my age on the street to try my luck going on a date with, I'd say yes. I don't generally think about how attractive I find people, but I'm not generally ruling them out either.

OzoneLaters · 2023-07-28T18:53:12+00:00

This is very interesting.

DragonflyAromatic793 · 2023-07-28T18:57:07+00:00

yes.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-07-28T19:19:22+00:00

I don’t find most men repulsive or anything but no I’m not attracted to a majority. I’m bi and also am not attracted to the majority of women, though I see slightly more I do find attractive. I would guess this is also true for men, they’re just considering a specific demographic (young, non-obese, feminine-looking) women when they say “I’m attracted to most women.” When it comes to clubs and bars where most people are under about 40 and single, I find a lot more men attractive too. It’s highly dependent on the demographic one is talking about, and the bias of who you notice and who you don’t is real.

bluestjuice · 2023-07-28T19:30:30+00:00

No not really. I had an in-depth convo about this with my partner the other day. I think generically men exist for me in a nebulous state of ‘maybe yes,’ and when I see them that initial impression/snap judgment can remove them from consideration but otherwise they remain a possible yes. I couldn’t give an exact percentage but it’s certainly less than 50% of men who get bounced on that initial judgment. Maybe 30% or so. The remainder aren’t guys I’d be DTF with no additional evaluation, though, they’re just the pool of guys who pass through the initial filter of attraction.

This differs from how it seems like the majority of men describe their attraction, where the initial judgment seems to pull women from a ‘maybe’ status to a nearly-actionable ‘yes’ or ‘no’ status pretty directly.

L3Kinsey · 2023-07-28T21:11:23+00:00

Personality matters!!!

I'm indifferent to most men, I'm not looking at men and thinking about their attractiveness. I think if I was I would find most men attractive in their own way. Most people are.

shockedpikachu123 · 2023-07-28T21:57:07+00:00

I don’t view men in my day to day life as attractive or unattractive. I only assess those who i decide to date. The guys I’ve dated never been my “type” they all been average and that’s ok with me because they treat me good

mackenzie013_02 · 2023-07-28T23:26:01+00:00

Most men are overweight so yes.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2023-07-29T00:00:47+00:00

When I'm in love with someone I'm basically blind when it comes to noticing other guys that way.

I don't find the majority of guys unattractive, I just don't think about them. In fact, like half the guys (my age) I meet on a day to day basis could pass my looks threshold if I was receptive to it and we vibed together the right way. I'm just completely indifferent to that at the moment.

basedmama21 · 2023-07-29T01:40:53+00:00

No, my husband drives an 04 truck, we’re middle class, he’s got big ears and a long nose and I treat him like he’s a fucking king. Because he is to me.

womandatory · 2023-07-29T08:20:26+00:00

I don’t go looking for attraction. People are people to me, and it’s only when I’m assessing a man for his dateability that I even consider his attractiveness, which is not just how he looks, but how he dresses, carries and conducts himself, and how he treats others.

Most women I know are the same. They do not go about their days noticing above averagely objectively good looking men and think about their fuckability. That shit is basic and nasty and generally reserved for immature twits.

Sophiatab · 2023-07-28T16:27:21+00:00

Good looks will only hold attraction for a few minutes unless the man has a decent personality to go with it. The real problem isn't how the majority of men look. The problem is how they act and think.

Hjelmert · 2023-07-28T16:27:34+00:00

Nah, i think most men my age look fine. Maybe 30% are straight up unattractive.

diaryofalostgirl · 2023-07-28T16:59:37+00:00

Give me strength. No, it's not true. I'm physically attracted to more men than I'm entirely happy with because there's more that a man needs to be in order to be relationship material. If he's "friendzoned", he can be as physically attractive as he likes, there's still something missing that I don't see in him.

Mentathiel · 2023-07-28T16:38:35+00:00

Of the men that are in my circles in life, I find a lot of them a bit attractive, around 1/3. Most others are just NPCs. Very very rarely do I find them to be repulsive. I usually have a major crush or serious attraction, serious feelings, for only one man at a time, but I will still notice people I also find attractive on some level.

That being said, I think I live in a bit of a bubble. I don't know if the average man I interact with is anywhere close to the average man. As in, most of them are middle or upper middle class, most have college degrees or are still in college or dropped out after getting a fair amount of education, most of them care about fitness at least a tiny bit, most of them are in STEM (I am also), arts, or management, most of them are nerdy... Idk how representative of men as a whole they are.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2023-07-28T17:47:40+00:00

Unattractive is different than not attractive.

Attractive is attractive: your looks are doing the heavy lifting
not attractive is not attractive: your looks aren’t actively helping, but they’re not hurting either
unattractive is ugly: your looks are hindering you

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-07-28T17:50:29+00:00

Most guys I see are at the gym. I guess I don't find most of them attractive. I'm always impressed by the guys deadlifting huge amounts of weight though. Not in a sexual way.

HeartCatchHana · 2023-07-28T17:47:40+00:00

Most are unattractive

random923828 · 2023-07-28T18:38:58+00:00

I commented before, but also wanted to add something,

You mentioned men who get friendzoned yet who have a lot of other good qualities. Again this ties into the whole for women attraction is more individualized than based off of a man being good looking and / or having great qualities. Just because a man has a laundry list of great qualities does not make him attractive. Just because a man looks like a stereotypical "Chad" does not make him attractive either. Many women get attracted to and marry normal men all the time.

Women on average are devalued, objectified by a lot of men. Men often mansplain about what makes women tick. They don't know. They think they do by their limited experience that has often left them sour because of choosing women who have bad character. Instead of painting all women with the same brush, it would be more productive to learn how to be a better judge of a person's character when they are interacting with others.

Also, it matters how you show up. Women automatically have their guard up, as many men are just after sex, and want to date as many women as possible. For many women, that is repulsive. On average, women want to fall in love. They want to be valued for who they are not how hot they look. They want a man to see and get them. Some men knowing this try to be a woman's friend, a Mr. quality casuals. They don't incite desire because they are playing it too safe. I would even say many men friendzone themselves. I think women need and want the stability of a quality man, yet also crave the excitement of romance. Men who can strike that balance are miles ahead. You should treat her with respect, and honor her, but maybe mix it up with a subtly flirty smile and a lingering gaze occasionally. Be there for her genuinely, but also have your own life. Women want this balance. They don't want someone bland who acts like a doormat, or an obnoxious Chad either. This is what many redpillers seem to miss. They think it's either or. It's not. Women want a quality man (good ethics, sees her, values her, is interested in her for more than what she looks like and sex. treats her right, respectfully shows authentic attraction, isn't a man-hoe, yet also has his own life, is charming, and can subtly intrigue her romantically, and also add a little adventure here and there in interactions with her on an ongoing basis). Friendzoned men tend to be great with character, but could develop themselves more in personal magnetism, showing subtle romantic queues, and peppering a little adventure in how they interact with women. Appearance does matter, but you ABSOLUTELY don't have to be a 10, ripped, or a Chad type. Investing in your appearance is attractive because it says you pay attention to detail, and it would be a nice experience to be close to you. There was a guy at a former job of mine, he would probably be considered a solid 5 or 6 objectively. Yet, he made sure he was groomed well and it showed self-respect and it was sexy. Things like having a nice hairstyle, good hygiene, pressed clothes, a subtle but intriguing cologne. The answer to getting friendzoned, is not to write off all women, become some musclehead 6 figure alpha type (who honestly is a bit obnoxious) and hard for women to be around long term. Instead, it is to increase your attraction romance signals and mix stability with sexiness, WHILE respecting yourself AND her. THAT is a sexy man, regardless of how conventionally good looking or funded he is or is not. Regular men who can strike the balance I outlined will probably have women or a woman not just attracted to them, but probably falling in love with them. Finally, though you can influence attraction factors you cannot MAKE someone attracted to you. There are men on the planet who are A-List actor attractive that though they are extremely attractive conventionally, I'm just not into them for some reason. Attraction can be situational like that. Best of luck.

yamb97 · 2023-07-28T16:58:30+00:00

Yes for the most part because I have a very specific type of guy I’m attracted to. Long hair, full beard, thick build. (Jason Momoa fits the description.) Now any average dude walking by that fits that description does turn my head usually, but most guys do not look like this. I also found that I may find a guy unattractive but a change in his look will easily change that. For example I do not usually find Brad Pitt attractive but The Lost City Brad Pitt 🤤. I have a hair fetish or something idk.

Oli_love90 · 2023-07-28T19:41:00+00:00

i think the claim here the men find majority of women attractive absolutely ridiculous. It’s simply not possible to look around and be attracted to majority of the other sex. So that’s way overblown.

While I don’t think many guys are truly unattractive , I would consider most men (honestly most humans) neutral. That means they’re neither attractive nor unattractive - they just are.

lallelelu · 2023-07-28T17:32:00+00:00

No for me not but that still doesn’t mean that I would like to have sex with every men I find attractive, there needs to be more to it. Most people are average attractive but what makes them stand out to me is personality, charm, interests and so on.

Diamond-Breath · 2023-07-28T19:12:41+00:00

I'm 26 and honestly I find most young men attractive. When I was in college I'd look around and could easily pinpoint several attractive guys with a lot of potential career-wise. What I don't like at all is beer-bellied middle aged men or awkward looking guys with disgusting beards and a terrible fashion style, I also substract 100 points if he's the 50/50 type, it's deeply unattractive to me and that's a sure way of giving me the ick. All in all, if you clean up nicely, remain fit (or at least thin), and try your best to become financially stable, you can attract a worthwhile woman. I like traditional gentlemen and luckily those guys usually care about their appearance and their sense of masculinity, I would look up to those men if I was a man.

daviaa34 · 2023-07-28T18:08:24+00:00

I find most men unattractive. I am grossed out by the men that like all my dating profiles. They all look deformed and I’m not even kidding. I’m supposed to settle and reproduce with this?? I’ll be alone and keep looking.

hannahg000 · 2023-07-28T17:44:04+00:00

i’ve came across very few men i would do a double take on. but that doesn’t mean they are ugly, they are just unremarkable like the majority of people if they were to be ranked on appearance alone.

attraction can be built over time as you get to know someone as long as you don’t find them physically repulsive.

mrsmariekje · 2023-07-28T19:18:21+00:00

I meet maybe one man a week where I think "wow, that is a very attractive man" but it's more that I appreciate them in an aesthetic way. How can I be truly attracted to a stranger?

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2023-07-28T19:21:37+00:00

I'd say less (straight) men put effort into their physical appearance as women so more men look unremarkable than vice versa.

bottomluhan · 2023-07-29T03:23:34+00:00

Yes. The average man is not attractive inside or out. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve found a man just walking around physically attractive. There are zero that I’ve found so far that are attractive as people as whole including personality, values, etc. i scrolled on a friend’s dating app for like 45 minutes the other day and not a single man was attractive in the slightest to me.

Failing_Lady_Wannabe · 2023-07-28T18:06:11+00:00

What, no thar's clearly not the case for me. But I only find white men attractive - the rest are simply "not my genetics" so I guess it's something very biological that I can't really control. And I would say that I do find a lot of normal men attractive that I see around me every day. Most people are just average looking, me included. So of course I just don't really notice anyone really unless they are very special looking. But it's not like finding those people unattractive.

One-Introduction-566 · 2023-07-28T19:49:36+00:00

I think it’s the whole, I don’t notice men that much. And I may meet one but I can just tell he wants different things than me and it could never work out so bam, now not attracted at all if I ever was. But I could get to know a man I’d never notice while walking on the street and fall in love and think he’s super sexy and attractive. Like I think a decent portion of men are physically attractive enough for me to date them but I’ll only feel attracted to them if they have other qualities and match my values. I can’t really get hot for a guy I don’t know

yellowho · 2023-07-28T19:59:23+00:00

I'm just speaking for myself but:

1 - unattractive - 30% 2 - neither attractive nor unattractive - 30% 3 - Attractive - 25% 4 - Intimidating/too attractive 15%

Dangerous-Ad-1191 · 2023-07-28T20:11:09+00:00

Yes, I have a crush here and there but there is one man who I think is the most attractive person I have ever seen and everyone one else pales in comparison (personality also plays into this a bunch as well)

Clementinequeen95 · 2023-07-29T02:31:46+00:00

Yah most men don’t really try very hard tbh. So yah I don’t notice most men. Even attractive men I’m like yah he’s attractive and kinda move on.

Sea_Guide7219 · 2023-07-29T08:33:08+00:00

This is really not serious.

You say you know "many men" with some characteristics (average looking, confident...) and you say "they are rejected"... but I mean, lets be a little bit scientific here : can you really assess that those "many men" have the characteristics you claim they have ? can you also claim that they all get rejected in the very same conditions ? can you really claim that their rejection has something in common (apart from being tagged by you as "rejection") ? Can you really make any kind of generalization out of your own subjective experience and those poorly defined characteristics ?

I think you should try to assess how many biases there are in your claims.

no202 · 2023-07-30T02:25:24+00:00

It’s mostly because the majority of men put zero effort into their appearance and we can tell. Women are raised to groom themselves to appeal to men. Men didn’t get that memo. They can’t even wash their asses.

ignitedwolf9200 · 2023-07-28T19:47:40+00:00

Ok-Put3239 · 2023-07-28T20:30:54+00:00

The friend zone doesn’t exist.

Anyways I don’t like every man so why would I find every man attractive?

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Independent_Day678 · 2023-07-28T18:10:57+00:00

I wouldn't say unattractive, I just don't feel any particular way about them. I need to have proximity and develop an emotional connection first. I wouldn't be attracted to an objectively attractive guy based on look alone.

No_Length_6997 · 2023-07-28T18:20:29+00:00

I find that it’s more about setting and receptiveness. Even if you’re her type, she may be annoyed by your advances depending on the setting. I feel like 1/10 women reciprocate my advances. So yeah you just gotta keep that line in the water. In the right scenario a less attractive guy can land a 10.

Fiestygirl000 · 2023-07-28T19:27:02+00:00

I think this really depends on what each woman considers average. Like if you’re in a college town that has a big Greek life. Your average guy might be someone in fraternity, majors on business, and west loafers to class

If I were to think about the average male worker being 5”8, pudgy, office job I would not think much about him. I definitely wouldn’t be bend over to compete with other women for him

Excellent-Yam409 · 2023-07-28T21:18:02+00:00

Like with most women I think, everything is contextual.

If we're single and horny, we might be looking at men in a "would/wouldn't" sort of way. If we're not, we're probably not looking at them at all.

The big exception is for men who really stand out (like celebrity good looks).

All of this can change once we interact with the guy. If I'm at the lunch table and a guy is making me laugh until my belly hurts, I might notice him. If a guy starts flirting with me, I'll definitely notice him. If a guy comes around me a lot, I'll probably notice him.

Sorry it's not an easy answer.

BeneficialRush4171 · 2023-07-28T22:02:32+00:00

Guys around 5 years my age, no. Most of them are average.

nemma88 · 2023-07-28T23:37:34+00:00

Men are neither attractive nor unattractive unless there is some sort of sexual context where I then make that assessment.

It's not normal for me to think of random men in a sexual way or as a potential mate or score them or anything. They're just people going about their business, getting where they need to go.

When I was looking however I only considered long haired guys with goatee or beard as my type... So that probably ruled out 95% of men.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-07-28T23:37:49+00:00

i find entire continents, ethnicities, classes and style niches of men unattractive even when i can see the men are objectively "handsome". the thing is that there are millions of women who love what i find unattractive and find what I like to be unattractive. youll never be attractive to EVERY woman, or even the bulk of them

MistyMaisel · 2023-07-28T23:48:23+00:00

No. I don't notice most men period. Same for women. They blend into the scenery. I am not even evaluating them for that.

PicklePixie · 2023-07-28T23:49:16+00:00

I don't think about the attractiveness level of men unless:

A) they are either really handsome or really ugly

B) I get close enough to them that I consider them partner material, in which case they become the most attractive person in the world to me

All other men are neither unattractive or attractive.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2023-07-28T23:59:21+00:00

No, it's not.

justyou0203 · 2023-07-29T00:17:56+00:00

I don’t find most men attractive because one I’m married so I don’t care to but second most guys these days are just so untrusting and out for themselves.

TheMedsPeds · 2023-07-29T00:46:33+00:00

I do. I would say I probably only find 1 or 100 guys attractive. I don't consider myself a part of the norm. I have a very specific taste. I like high cheek bones, longish-long hair, slender, medium height, not hyper masculine and they need to have some sort of "alt" style. I am also not a fan of hairy dudes. Big (as we used to call 'em) Duck Dynasty beards gross me out. Goatees and mustaches especially are a "no" for me as well.

middleoftheroad133 · 2023-07-29T01:32:14+00:00

Unless a guy is objectively very attractive, I find most men neutral or unattractive. I can go weeks before seeing a man and feeling he is attractive I’m told for men this is not the same!

shelbysabitch · 2023-07-29T01:35:21+00:00

i find pretty much all men neutral, even “super handsome” celebs and the like. i almost exclusively find men attractive once i have some kind of emotional connection to them, but once that’s happened i tend to think that guy (regardless of if they’re conventionally attractive or not) is hotter than any male model out there

note- i do not have this problem with women for some reason lol. i find nearly all women to be attractive off the rip.

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-07-29T02:01:07+00:00

I find the average person—man and woman—to be just, well, average looking. A smaller percentage of people will be very attractive, and another smaller percentage will be unattractive. But most people are just average. Not gorgeous, but not ugly.

n-a-p-7 · 2023-07-29T02:09:17+00:00

Yes. It also doesn’t help that men are not as big on upkeep as women. But I think guys don’t understand that unattractive =/= “ugly” to many women. You guys get more upset by this than you should. It simply means we are not attracted to them and I really can’t imagine why I would even be attracted to most people on this Earth.

sweetestpineapple · 2023-07-29T02:20:20+00:00

I find the majority of men okay. I have a specific type that I’m actually attracted to. If I’m not into a guy I don’t usually see him as ugly unless he’s exceptionally bad looking.

Loveenglishpeople · 2023-07-29T02:22:57+00:00

Yes.

But that’s mostly because the average man doesn’t put that much effort into his appearance in comparison to the average woman.

The gap could easily be solved by more efforts

Better, longer hair, better haircuts, better mustache, good care of it, better clothes, …

They don’t stand out, but that is because they don’t make efforts to… its not that hard, its just most pen don’t try at all. They wear the same shitty outfit all day everyday, for every activity, trim their hair super short and wonder why they have no sex appeal. And its considered normal. Imagine a woman doing the same stuff…

Yupperdoodledoo · 2023-07-29T02:45:35+00:00

More like the majority of men are neutral until I get to know them. I just can’t tell by looking at someone if they’re my type. There has to be chemistry.

DConstructed · 2023-07-29T02:48:22+00:00

Not unattractive but I need to actually like someone to be attracted to them. So seeing a model wouldn’t do it for me no matter how hot many people think he is.

Also someone needs to smell right or at least neutral. And it’s not about how sweaty they are.

Average looks are fine.

Billsandasonom · 2023-07-29T03:49:32+00:00

I had an image of a normal everyday man and assuming he takes relative care of himself and is healthy with relative youth, he is probably objectively meant to look decent (enough) to women. The difference between men and women is men are affected sexually even in the most mild or subtle ways when they see women whereas women are not when they see men. The "would" or "wouldn't" just subconsciously pops up every time a woman walks by a man. This is what is meant by men noticing women and men being invisible to women. There doesn't exist as much of a push for women to appraise random men in public.

But....this is before I kinda realized, the OP says they aren't talking about an obese guy but the average man these days is often at least kinda fat or at least with a very unremarkable out of shape body.

Moon-on-my-mind · 2023-07-29T07:05:52+00:00

I personally like to observe and people watch whenever i go anywhere. May it be man or woman (I'm bi) i admire beauty when i see it.

I don't find most men unattractive phisically. Quite often i like what i see. I go "i would/wouldn't" in my head unintentionally.

Lemongrasschan · 2023-07-29T08:33:13+00:00

Attraction doesn't come until after i have a really good sense of the man. Literally never looked at a random man and thought he was attractive.

SabineLavine · 2023-07-29T10:06:52+00:00

Not at all.

GlumManufacturer1557 · 2023-07-29T11:07:18+00:00

I_can_get_loud_too · 2023-07-29T13:43:14+00:00

Yes.

PonderingPeaches · 2023-07-29T14:19:33+00:00

Not unattractive. Just not relevant enough to give any thought to. Just existing isn’t enough to get my attention.

YveisGrey · 2023-07-29T14:25:29+00:00

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2023-07-29T14:27:46+00:00

No. I don't even notice the vast majority of men exist. I could ride the train with the same guy everyday and not tell you what he looks like or ever even notice he was there.

You can't consider someone unattractive if you don't consider them at all.

Welllarmedhippie · 2023-07-29T18:15:40+00:00

Most men in my age group who take care of themselves are attractive to me. Finding a man attractive doesn't mean I want to get with him though.

learn2earn89 · 2023-07-29T19:33:37+00:00

So I work with a lot of guys ( a few 100+) who are in their 30s, 40s, and 50s.I find most of them neutral. There’s a tiny few who are outright “hot” (they range from age 27-40) and a few that are cute. The rest are “meh” but I also don’t talk to them much. I assume when I talk to them, that would change. I think if they were all in their late 20s, early to mid thirties, I’d find more of them attractive from the get go.

thats_real_butter · 2023-07-30T04:41:59+00:00

Willow-girl · 2023-07-30T12:08:12+00:00

Most men make me feel claustrophobic. I can see the wheels turning in their heads and my lizard brain reacts by going RUN, RUN AWAY!

All my life, I've presented as a sweet, bubbly blonde, and that's what men respond to. They don't understand that beneath that exterior is a quest for world domination. No I am not going to be easy to keep under your thumb, lol. Don't even try it, Mister!

Title	Question for Women - Is it true that you find the majority of Men unnatractive?
Author	Spirited-Parfait7245
Upvotes	133
Comments	461
Date	July 28, 2023 3:51 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/15c16vp/question_for_women_is_it_true_that_you_find_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/question-for-women-is-it-true-that-you-find-the.1226779 https://theredarchive.com/post/1226779

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